Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Leaving Out the Converts (Hadith Commentary from Zad alTalibin)

either quantum Sara Sutton for the year to Nerja. If Nerney doing an

earth Ian had the study to be nurserymen Ashley Enya zunar, who

the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam says in this hadith that's

related by mumble hardly any Muslim

that when there is a group of three of you, two of you should

not kind of separate, separate yourself, not necessarily

physically, but just start talking to yourself. So essentially, what

the roasted Eliza was saying is when there is a group of three to

have, you should not converse in private, thus excluding the third

until you meet up with others, as it may offend him,

as it may cause him grievance. And really that that normally happens

if three people are sitting there, and to suddenly start talking in

whispers, what's the third person going to think? I don't know if

you've ever been in that situation, right? What's the third

person going to think? What would you think if the two people you

were with suddenly started talking and whispers? Like, what are they

talking about? Right? Unless they kind of turned around and said,

Brother, it's okay, you know, we're not talking about you. Or

it's okay. You know, we just, there's something that I had to

mention, which is really private, unless you clarify yourself,

unless you make a disclaimer, the person is going to feel really

bad, you're part of that group. It's different. If two people are

just conversing on the side private in a, you kind of show up

in the middle, then they're not obliged to reveal to you anything,

because you came in on them, you interrupted them. But if you're

with three people, and then you suddenly start talking to somebody

else, and at the exclusion of the third person, then that's a

problem. Now, this hadith over promise of Assam said it this way,

it doesn't have to refer to just this

many manifestations of this hadith in different ways of manifesting

this. For example, let's just say that two of you are Pakistanis,

you know, they speak Punjabi, for example, you speak or do a

majority of Somali or, you know, Arabic and the third person

doesn't. So you're speaking in English, and then suddenly, you

you know, two of you start conversing in this other language.

Why would you do that?

Right. Now, if, if your friends from before, I mean, one has to

understand if your friends from before, and you do that sometimes

the person doesn't mind, and that's completely fine. Right?

It's fine, because they, you know, you're used to it, people are used

to it, they they find, you know, you've got such friendship, they

will mind you doing that. But you have to be sensitive to this. And

I think another thing here that we get great, you can say,

I think another kind of more extended expression of this would

be where three people among you, and then two people start

speaking, some kind of jargon, certain terminology related to

maybe a particular science or something, right, at the exclusion

of the third person, making him feel bad. Now, if you make a

disclaimer, look, we're going to have a very technical discussion,

if you don't mind, you know, we will try to explain to you later

on, it's very technical discussion, very difficult to

simplify things. So we're gonna have this discussion, it's fine.

But otherwise, one must be very careful, because a man's heart is

very important that we don't break it as very important. So we need

to be very careful about that. Having said that,

a person should not be the third person if the two friends and need

to speak about something, for example, right? If the if they

need to speak about something, and you're just being awkward, and

trying to be awkward about it, then that's obviously not very

nice, either. Because there's no need for that, to do that. Right.

So another manifestation of this is if people are speaking in a

particular jargon, unless you explain to people the main thing

is just have somebody else's heart and their feelings in view, that's

very important is to have the feeling in view. So it's, then

it's fine. In that case, one major complaint that people have

especially converted to a masjid or a certain group, or a party,

that they've been invited to a meeting they've been invited to,

and especially if there's a certain ethnic group, it happens

in massage, it is really problematic. You've got all the

Pakistanis who would sit together, right? You've got the Indians who

would sit together, sometimes the Pakistanis and Indians would sit

together because they will not want to do, right. And if there's

an Arab person or two, they're going to feel really left out. And

on the other hand, if you've got the Arabs and you've got one or

two Indian Pakistanis, the Arabs are going to start speaking in

Arabic, and these Pakistani Indians are going to feel left out

and the Convert really feel sorry for them. Because really, when

they come in, they're really excluded. That's why it's very

important to make people feel included. Right. It's not that

people do it on purpose. It's just I think, a bit

unthoughtful it's not that they do it on purpose that yeah, we can

make them feel bad. That's why

We're doing this, let's all speak like this suddenly, you know,

let's all speak like this right now because we want that person to

feel really bad. So don't come back. It's not like that. It's

just that we're very, not very thoughtful about it. Not very

considerate, so it's just about being inconsiderate. That's why

it's important that we both be more considerate about these

things. And the voice of awesome said it in the best of ways is a

quantum Thalassa. If you are there are three of you. Further yet a

Naja Taneja means

to whisper to say things intimately to each other. So

you're essentially showing this kind of intimate discussion,

expressing this intimate discussion with somebody at the

exclusion of the third person doing an offer, leaving the third

person out at that after the to be Nozman. engineer, he has no,

right.

Until you're, unless you're with other people until you're with

other people. Now, if this four of you and two people are doing this,

then it's obviously a lighter problem than it is when there's

just one person because at least the other person could the other

two could hold in a conversation. It would still be bad if the two

other the two was speaking or the more dominant people. Right? The

others are going to feel bad or left out that what are these guys

planning or plotting or whatever? Right?

Where does an understanding it's fine, where it is an

understanding, it's fine. Among Friends, normally, it should be

fine, because you know, everybody's considerate.

Everybody's tolerant of the other.

The point of a lecture is to encourage people to act to get

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end of that inshallah you will have gotten the basics of most of

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this more sustained study as well. JazakAllah here in Santa Monica

when I have to live record