Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Leaving Out the Converts (Hadith Commentary from Zad alTalibin)

Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera
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The speakers emphasize the importance of being careful and avoiding embarrassment in a private setting with a group of people. They stress the need to be mindful of one's emotions and considerate about them. The speakers also stress the importance of learning and practicing Islam, especially for situations where there is a group of people.

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			either quantum Sara Sutton for the
year to Nerja. If Nerney doing an
		
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			earth Ian had the study to be
nurserymen Ashley Enya zunar, who
		
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			the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
salam says in this hadith that's
		
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			related by mumble hardly any
Muslim
		
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			that when there is a group of
three of you, two of you should
		
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			not kind of separate, separate
yourself, not necessarily
		
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			physically, but just start talking
to yourself. So essentially, what
		
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			the roasted Eliza was saying is
when there is a group of three to
		
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			have, you should not converse in
private, thus excluding the third
		
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			until you meet up with others, as
it may offend him,
		
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			as it may cause him grievance. And
really that that normally happens
		
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			if three people are sitting there,
and to suddenly start talking in
		
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			whispers, what's the third person
going to think? I don't know if
		
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			you've ever been in that
situation, right? What's the third
		
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			person going to think? What would
you think if the two people you
		
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			were with suddenly started talking
and whispers? Like, what are they
		
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			talking about? Right? Unless they
kind of turned around and said,
		
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			Brother, it's okay, you know,
we're not talking about you. Or
		
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			it's okay. You know, we just,
there's something that I had to
		
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			mention, which is really private,
unless you clarify yourself,
		
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			unless you make a disclaimer, the
person is going to feel really
		
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			bad, you're part of that group.
It's different. If two people are
		
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			just conversing on the side
private in a, you kind of show up
		
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			in the middle, then they're not
obliged to reveal to you anything,
		
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			because you came in on them, you
interrupted them. But if you're
		
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			with three people, and then you
suddenly start talking to somebody
		
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			else, and at the exclusion of the
third person, then that's a
		
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			problem. Now, this hadith over
promise of Assam said it this way,
		
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			it doesn't have to refer to just
this
		
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			many manifestations of this hadith
in different ways of manifesting
		
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			this. For example, let's just say
that two of you are Pakistanis,
		
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			you know, they speak Punjabi, for
example, you speak or do a
		
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			majority of Somali or, you know,
Arabic and the third person
		
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			doesn't. So you're speaking in
English, and then suddenly, you
		
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			you know, two of you start
conversing in this other language.
		
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			Why would you do that?
		
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			Right. Now, if, if your friends
from before, I mean, one has to
		
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			understand if your friends from
before, and you do that sometimes
		
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			the person doesn't mind, and
that's completely fine. Right?
		
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			It's fine, because they, you know,
you're used to it, people are used
		
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			to it, they they find, you know,
you've got such friendship, they
		
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			will mind you doing that. But you
have to be sensitive to this. And
		
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			I think another thing here that we
get great, you can say,
		
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			I think another kind of more
extended expression of this would
		
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			be where three people among you,
and then two people start
		
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			speaking, some kind of jargon,
certain terminology related to
		
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			maybe a particular science or
something, right, at the exclusion
		
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			of the third person, making him
feel bad. Now, if you make a
		
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			disclaimer, look, we're going to
have a very technical discussion,
		
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			if you don't mind, you know, we
will try to explain to you later
		
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			on, it's very technical
discussion, very difficult to
		
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			simplify things. So we're gonna
have this discussion, it's fine.
		
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			But otherwise, one must be very
careful, because a man's heart is
		
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			very important that we don't break
it as very important. So we need
		
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			to be very careful about that.
Having said that,
		
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			a person should not be the third
person if the two friends and need
		
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			to speak about something, for
example, right? If the if they
		
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			need to speak about something, and
you're just being awkward, and
		
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			trying to be awkward about it,
then that's obviously not very
		
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			nice, either. Because there's no
need for that, to do that. Right.
		
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			So another manifestation of this
is if people are speaking in a
		
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			particular jargon, unless you
explain to people the main thing
		
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			is just have somebody else's heart
and their feelings in view, that's
		
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			very important is to have the
feeling in view. So it's, then
		
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			it's fine. In that case, one major
complaint that people have
		
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			especially converted to a masjid
or a certain group, or a party,
		
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			that they've been invited to a
meeting they've been invited to,
		
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			and especially if there's a
certain ethnic group, it happens
		
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			in massage, it is really
problematic. You've got all the
		
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			Pakistanis who would sit together,
right? You've got the Indians who
		
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			would sit together, sometimes the
Pakistanis and Indians would sit
		
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			together because they will not
want to do, right. And if there's
		
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			an Arab person or two, they're
going to feel really left out. And
		
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			on the other hand, if you've got
the Arabs and you've got one or
		
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			two Indian Pakistanis, the Arabs
are going to start speaking in
		
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			Arabic, and these Pakistani
Indians are going to feel left out
		
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			and the Convert really feel sorry
for them. Because really, when
		
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			they come in, they're really
excluded. That's why it's very
		
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			important to make people feel
included. Right. It's not that
		
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			people do it on purpose. It's just
I think, a bit
		
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			unthoughtful it's not that they do
it on purpose that yeah, we can
		
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			make them feel bad. That's why
		
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			We're doing this, let's all speak
like this suddenly, you know,
		
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			let's all speak like this right
now because we want that person to
		
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			feel really bad. So don't come
back. It's not like that. It's
		
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			just that we're very, not very
thoughtful about it. Not very
		
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			considerate, so it's just about
being inconsiderate. That's why
		
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			it's important that we both be
more considerate about these
		
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			things. And the voice of awesome
said it in the best of ways is a
		
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			quantum Thalassa. If you are there
are three of you. Further yet a
		
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			Naja Taneja means
		
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			to whisper to say things
intimately to each other. So
		
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			you're essentially showing this
kind of intimate discussion,
		
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			expressing this intimate
discussion with somebody at the
		
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			exclusion of the third person
doing an offer, leaving the third
		
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			person out at that after the to be
Nozman. engineer, he has no,
		
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			right.
		
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			Until you're, unless you're with
other people until you're with
		
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			other people. Now, if this four of
you and two people are doing this,
		
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			then it's obviously a lighter
problem than it is when there's
		
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			just one person because at least
the other person could the other
		
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			two could hold in a conversation.
It would still be bad if the two
		
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			other the two was speaking or the
more dominant people. Right? The
		
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			others are going to feel bad or
left out that what are these guys
		
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			planning or plotting or whatever?
Right?
		
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			Where does an understanding it's
fine, where it is an
		
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			understanding, it's fine. Among
Friends, normally, it should be
		
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			fine, because you know,
everybody's considerate.
		
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			Everybody's tolerant of the other.
		
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			The point of a lecture is to
encourage people to act to get
		
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			further and inspiration and
encouragement, persuasion. The
		
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			next step is to actually start
learning seriously, to read books
		
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			to take on a subject of Islam and
to understand all the subjects of
		
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			Islam at least at the basic level,
so that we can become more aware
		
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			of what our deen wants from us.
And that's why we started Rayyan
		
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			courses so that you can actually
take organize lectures on demand
		
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			whenever you have free time,
especially for example, the
		
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			Islamic essentials course that we
have on there, the Islamic
		
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			essentials certificate, which you
take 20 Short modules, and at the
		
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			end of that inshallah you will
have gotten the basics of most of
		
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			the most important topics in Islam
and you'll feel a lot more
		
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			confident. You don't have to leave
lectures behind you can continue
		
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			to live, you know, to listen to
lectures, but you need to have
		
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			this more sustained study as well.
JazakAllah here in Santa Monica
		
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			when I have to live record