Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Keep Your Word Avoid OverPromising
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hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah Handan Cathedral on the Ubud Mubarak and
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Jalla Jalla who are and Manuel wa salatu salam ala Sayed Al Habib Al
Mustafa SallAllahu Taala Allah you are the leader he was Safi or
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Allah subhanaw taala speaks in the Quran about
fulfilling covenants,
fulfilling promises,
not breaking promises, not betraying anybody. Not breaking
covenants and being true to our word.
One of the
problems with the munaf routine, Allah subhanho wa Taala says in
the Quran about them is that fie Kulu he modeled, they have
sickness in their heart.
They have an illness in their heart. And the reason the illness
that we're speaking about, it wasn't necessarily some kind of
medical problem as such, it was a spiritual problem. And the problem
is this.
How long can you say something outwardly that you do not agree
with internally?
How can you claim something externally? That you have no
belief about inside? How long can you live that lie?
They say that when somebody lies, the liar has to constantly
remember what he said last time.
Because if I'm speaking to you, and I meet you again, after a few
weeks, I better remember what I what story I told you last time,
otherwise, you're going to be you're going to say no, but you
didn't say, Oh, yes, sorry, sorry, I missed I made a mistake. But no.
So Elias, life is very complicated. They have to remember
too much you may as well go and memorize the Quran, if he is going
to instead remember everything, he is not going to memorize the
Quran, right?
So, lying is extremely detrimental. All humanity
understands that, through all religions, all cultures, all
ideologies, lying is a bad thing. The world would not function with
lying, this lying, and we just about function. But if it was
lying was tolerable and acceptable, then nothing would be
predictable. You'd be listening to somebody, and the default would be
that he's probably lying. So do I trust him or not? Can you imagine
it right now most of us that are normal. When we listen to
somebody, we believe what they say. We have some skeptical people
among us who don't believe in anything.
They, you will really have to prove everything, they always look
at you and listen to you with skepticism.
When these are just various different manifestations of this.
So it says that if you work in an environment that you disagree with
morally, you will be depressed. For example, if you found a job,
which you know, you've been looking for a job for a very long
time, and eventually you find a job somewhere which has some haram
elements. For example, you have to sell beer or serve wine or
restaurant job or something like this, and you disagree with it.
But you've got stomach stomachs to feed, you know, you got people to
feed and you can't find any other job. And it's the only one that
you're stuck in.
How you're going to feel all day in that job, spending several
hours. It's very demoralizing human beings are created to be
internally and externally the same, the external should manifest
the inward. That's why scholars say for example, that there are a
dub for eating.
There are etiquette for eating.
Now,
if I'm sitting with others when I'm eating, I'm going to have to
be a bit more careful in the way I eat. If I have bad manners in
eating at home.
That means I've got separate manners for home.
And I've got separate manners for outside. That's too complicated.
Right? Why do we want that headache? Why do you want that
tension.
The other mention? Correct your etiquette at home so that you
could be the same everywhere you go. For example, not making too
much noise with eating, not talking too much with a mouthful,
not eating from all over the place.
Not dropping too much foods, and so on and so forth. These are all
contradictions in life.
And of course, if the human being can be as God fearing with Taqwa
at home, in the privacy of their bedroom, as they can be outside,
then that would be ultimate, but these are the challenges that we
face.
So if I discussed today the concept of breaking a promise
which relates to all of this, breaking a promise could be done
for different reasons. And we want to understand the Hadoop and
limits to this what is halal? What is haram to do in this case?
Making a promise while intending to break it.
is haram. So
you come and say, Can you please help me out? Can you come to this
meeting on that day? And I have no intention to come and say, Yeah,
of course, I'll come. Don't worry, count on me. I'll be there. That's
blatantly haram. Because you are promising something knowing inside
that you're not going to come. This is completely wrong.
However, if you make the promise that yes, I will come and your
intention is to come.
And the later you forgot, or later something came up and you are
unable to make it, then that's not haram.
That's not haram because you're you when you said something with
your tongue. Yes, I will come your intention was there. Because it's
about the future. It's not about now you're not lying about the
past, it's about the future and future can change.
Now there's some people who have come across.
They are very good hearted people.
Right? They have a very good heart. And every time you say, Can
you please help me out with this? Can you come here? Yeah, I'll
come. I'll come. I'll help you out. I'll do this. I'll get it for
you.
But they don't end up doing it.
Not because they don't want to.
Right? It's because they over promise.
So there's a concept called over promising.
Where you promise too much just too well, there could be many
reasons for this some is that you just want to sound nice. You don't
want to say no, you find it difficult to say no. But you have
no intention inside then that will become haram.
Right? Just to make them feel good right now that's actually worse.
You'd rather make them feel bad right now then to set them, let
them stand them up on the day. That's what I do. Now tell you
that, you know, because as Imams as scholars, people ask you to do
a lot of things. And
I, my personality trait is to be traitors to be brutally honest
anyway. Right. So even if it hurts sometimes, you know, I can't be
diplomatic. I just say Look, I'm sorry, I can't Oh, but you know,
they were Why don't you say maybe I'll try.
You know, because sometimes actually sounds better to say,
I'll try and then not come.
But I don't believe in that.
Because I feel that look, if I can't come, I'm going to make sure
I I'm going to make sure I tell you that so that you can find
somebody else. It's easier for planning purposes is better.
Because you know that okay, well, let's not rely on it. He says he
might come, I don't really think he just says I might come. He said
inshallah we'll come.
Now Inshallah, unfortunately, that's become sometimes a
problematic term as well for some people.
So
if you're if you find that your habit is to keep promising, but
you don't end up fulfilling it, even though your intention is you
would love to help, then stop promising. Just don't promise so
much.
Rather, it's better if you don't promise and say, Look, I won't be
able to do it. And
the author of one of the famous dictionaries, he says that,
according to the Arabs, breaking a promise is a form of lying.
When you break a promise, it is like you lived
while not fulfilling a threat is generosity. Now what does that
mean? If I threaten somebody that I will take them to court or if
they come late, then I will not give them something like we tell
our children, right? That
if you don't do this, then I'm going to cut your pocket money or
I'm going to take away your x Xbox or whatever the case is right?
Now, from a disciplinary perspective, you should do it.
If you never do it, then you will end up with children who won't
trust you. They'll never take what you say to be serious. I've got a
friend who works in a prison
with juveniles, I think with young offenders. So he told us that over
the years when he's been working with these people, he discusses
the he discusses their problems, their crimes, whatever it is. So
one of them went in for robbery. One of them had come into the
prison for robbery.
And he was speaking to in the How did you get into robbery and you'd
be surprised.
He blamed his mother more than anybody else.
You know how he said that when I was young?
I would go to somebody's house. And as children always do, right,
do you do this? When you go to somebody's house, you want to take
their toys to play with?
You go to somebody's house, you say, and you're playing with
something with your cousin, right? Then when it's time to go, you
want to take that toy with you. It's a normal thing for children
to do. Do you feel like doing that? Sometimes? Never.
Okay, you've probably forgotten right? Next time, just don't do
that.
So, now what generally happens if somebody comes to your house, and
he's gonna he wants to take a toy? What do you say, as parents? What
will you say to the guest?
Just take it. That's what you'll say. Right? Generally, people's I
don't know if they mean it or not. But they say just take it. What
should the parents say? The good parents will say, No, you can't
take this, you've got enough toys at home. Because with toys, they
get old very quickly. And you end up just packing new new new toys.
And the more you have, the less value toys become, they just want
everything new.
Now, if you say no, in your firm, the child is not going to like it,
he may throw a tantrum, if he's a really stubborn child. But that's
how you discipline them. This mother of this particular
individual, would let him take it.
Right? The people would just say the house, the house owner, house
host would say yes, take it, his mother wouldn't say anything.
Slowly, slowly, he got into the habit. Then what he started doing
he feel he felt a sense of entitlement. So he would go to
school with his sister, his sister was much younger than him.
And he started stealing from a shop,
he would have the sister stand in a strategic position to watch that
nobody was coming, he would take from the shop. Eventually he stole
from a mall. That's when he got caught. And then he ended up in
prison. And he blames his mother for it. Because his mother for
years and years and years never stopped him from taking something
from somebody's house, and allowed him to take it. For whatever
reason that was small, small acts like that. Now Allah knows best
whether it's really her fault or not, but he thinks it's like that.
And if somebody feels like that about their parents, that's really
sad.
So that's why it's best to discipline ourselves from the
beginning, so that we don't have to have this turmoil afterwards.
Now, if we Imam Buhari, etc.
Our scholars, they've said that, for example, if I tell a small
child, come here, come here, I've got something, I've got a suite in
my hand, and you don't have a suite in your hand, then that is
haram to do. That is wrong to do that. Because you're like, that
child is going to come a poor, innocent child, young,
impressionable child is going to come in wanting your sweet and
then he doesn't find a sweet in there. What does that what are you
telling that children about adults,
that you can't trust them,
they will start doing the same thing to others.
They will start doing the same thing to others.
The discipline has to be balanced. If you tell your children you
don't trust them,
then that's actually worse than telling them you trust them, but
not trusting them psychologically, that they say that's worse,
because when they know that my parents don't trust me, then they
make another personality for themselves. It's a very, very
delicate issue.
It's a very, very delicate issue. They did some studies in not sure
if Zambia, one of these African countries where they had children
sitting in an exam chamber. This was a test.
They
went out for a few moments
to see and they told them not to cheat.
They put a small exam, like a basic test for them. And they said
that we're going to walk out the room. We don't want anybody asking
anybody anything.
So that's what they did. Now, the more if they explained properly,
less people cheated, because they gave them trust.
Right, they gave them trust they gave them they said that if you
don't cheat and you get high marks, then you're gonna get a
better result. You're gonna get a better award. It was better to
incentivize it.
So sometimes it's better to do it that way.
So now what he's saying here is that if you
have warned somebody about something
that you're going to do something, and it ends up that
you then don't do that thing for them out of grace, then that is
generosity.
So for example,
Allah subhanaw taala has made promises to us that in the
Hereafter you will be given Jannah, you will be given this,
you will be given that all of the rewards that he's promised us. But
he's also he's also warned us that if you do X, Y and Zed you will be
punished. Now there are other math from a theological perspective,
they discussed that, can Allah go against that?
Can he not reward you? Even though you've done good deeds? And he's
accepted it can? He said, No, I still don't want to give it to
you. Of course,
in Qudra perspective, he can do whatever he wants, but can he? He
will not do that. Because Allah subhanaw taala doesn't go against
his promise that you can if Allah who are either Allah doesn't go
against his promise. So if he wants to, he can do whatever he
wants, but because he's promised you, He will not go against his
promise. But if he's promised that he will punish somebody, and then
after that he forgives and doesn't punish, is that allowed or not?
So in fulfilling the promises made to you,
that he's going to do because he promised it. But when he's made a
warning, can he go against that warning and not punish you? Yes,
he can. Because that's considered generosity.
Right. And that's after the fact. Whereas with our children, we keep
doing it, we teach them the wrong thing, but sometimes we can let
them off.
Okay, to move on now. Even the Masuda the Allahu Anhu would not
make a promise without saying insha Allah.
The reason is that he was honest about his promise, he had full
intention to
fulfill his promise. But the reason why he said in sha Allah,
this is a bit technical, that inshallah when you say in sha
Allah with everything, it means if Allah wills, so you're saying that
inshallah I will come if Allah wills. Now, we don't know what
Allah has willed.
So we've left it to Allah. So because of that, tomorrow, if I
couldn't come, then at least I have a way out and I won't be
sinful. Because Allah hasn't willed that I'm going to come
tomorrow because I couldn't come tomorrow. Do you understand that?
If I say, if you told me that, come and give us a lecture
tomorrow and I say, I'll come in sha Allah because I'm a bit
doubtful, right? I'll come in sha Allah. This is to protect myself.
Now what happens is tomorrow, I was unable to come. So I called
you and I said, I'm sorry, I'm unable to come. But because I've
said in sha Allah, I've already got a release, I won't be any in
any kind of haram because Allah has decided that I'm not going to
come tomorrow.
So that's in sha Allah.
Now, in sha Allah, we use it generally for the Baroque we
generally use it when we say Inshallah, we use it for Baraka,
right? I'll come in sha Allah, I'll do this Inshallah, inshallah
will come. That's how we use it. From a fixed perspective, in sha
Allah is such a powerful word, that if I say, you know, on my if
somebody is getting married here, and you know, we make them say,
the car to her, right? There's a wedge to her car bill to her,
right. You guys. He says Kabul to her Insha Allah, the marriage will
not be done.
If he said,
you are divorced in sha Allah,
it's not a divorce. But you can't say you're divorced. And then
after you finish in sha Allah is too late. Do you understand it's
already done. But if you said you are divorced in sha Allah, there's
no devil don't do this by the year. Okay? Don't play around with
divorce. Because it's not a word to play around with.
But the idea is that in sha Allah because you're saying, if Allah
wills, that's the real meaning of in sha Allah. Even though Masuda
used to always say that. So just in case he couldn't do something,
at least he wouldn't be sinful for it. However, you must be careful
that when you say in sha Allah, it doesn't give the impression that
you don't really mean to come.
That's why they it's become one of those insha Allah promises. It's
really sad that that's what people have taken it to be.
Now, if firm resolve is understood in the past, you made a promise to
somebody that will come tomorrow and they understood it. Right? And
you expect it to come?
Should you? You have to fulfill it, right? Unless you've got an
excuse.
Unless you've got an excuse. If you have an excuse, you're allowed
to exclude yourself, to excuse yourself. So for example, if
something else came up and I couldn't come, then technically I
could say I'm really sorry, because it's not an obligation.
Right, there's no contract. It's a promise. It's a great
If it's just something done out of goodwill, a promise is always done
out of goodwill. So that's why you could actually say that you have a
serious excuse than you could, you could, and you wouldn't be sinful.
And you wouldn't even be mcru. Otherwise, if you if you broke a
promise, without a genuine excuse, it's going to be at least macro.
And I think depending on how severe its impact will be, it will
be macro Tarini, or tansy, which is a small issue, there are lots
of people we're going to meet together. And it doesn't matter
whether you came or not, not a big deal, you'd promise to go and you
didn't go as much Ruth and Z. But if they were relying on you,
you're the main man, and without you they couldn't have the
meeting, then that's probably going to be worse depending on how
the
how much looks on, and damage is going to be done here.
Now, why did the Prophet salallahu Salam say that breaking a promise
is like hypocrisy, or is hypocrisy? How does that fit into
this? The situation of hypocrisy is if one is determined to not
fulfill the promise from before like we mentioned the Haram one.
That is hypocrisy because only hypocrites would do that.
You see, when you say hypocrisy, hypocrites had two problems, they
had the problem in the heart, which we discussed. The other one
was hypocrite in their actions.
So you know, the Hadith says that the sign of a hypocrite or three,
when he speaks he lies.
Whenever he speaks something he lies, when he makes a promise, he
breaks it.
These are not. This doesn't make a person a proper hypocrites, like
the person who doesn't have a human in his heart. It just makes
the person have one of the characteristics of a hypocrites.
Because those people who have true hypocrisy have faith in their
heart, they would generally break promises and do this. So there are
two types of hypocrisy hypocrisy of the heart and hypocrisy in
action. So these three are the hypocrisy and actions and we
obviously don't want anything related to hypocrisy. So that's
why it should be avoided. Now what is the opposite of breaking a
promise?
Is to fulfill a promise.
Right? Allah subhanaw taala says
limit tacos. Yeah, you're Latina, Ave, Lima, taco, Luna, Murata,
Fardon Oh, believers, why do you say that which you yourself failed
to do?
Utterly despised?
Is it with Allah that you say what you perform not? Now, although
here, you're not making any promises, you're just telling
people to do something which you don't yourself do. That's it
sounds like a different thing, doesn't it? But it's still related
to that same internal disease,
the way the modern world puts so look at that politician, he got
caught doing this. And because of that, they make a big deal out of
it, and they should make a big deal out of it. Right. Now, what
we have to understand is that if there's somebody who believes in a
certain ideology, that ethically they should be wrong, but the poor
guy is involved in himself. Right? And then he makes a mistake. Well,
that's understandable. That doesn't mean that he's a
hypocrites. hypocrisy, I believe is where you claim something while
knowing full well that you don't agree with it.
But if somebody believes that a certain sexual vices wrong,
unethical, but the poor guy gets involved in it,
right, he doesn't want to but he fails. Well, that's not hypocrisy.
That's a failing. For example, somebody's campaigning against
Zina. Right fornication, and the poor guy gets involved in
fornication. Maybe that's why he's campaigning against it because he
hates it so much, but the poor guy got got involved. Now, I don't
consider that hypocrisy because he believes in his heart that it's
wrong, but he failed. Humans have a failing. Everybody believes that
lying is wrong, but some people lie sometimes.
So the way the modern world puts it, is that if you
are doing something in secret, which you openly display, you can
openly disagree with it just come out and come out of the closet.
And that's problematic.
Because there are struggles human beings have. Right? We all have
some struggles and tensions with different things in our life. If
things that we're struggling with, we should just give up and just
say, Okay, we're going to embrace them, then can you imagine it?
Some people have struggled with stealing kleptomania it's called
they can't help it. They don't want to steal but they can't help
it. Don't really need it. They just do it.
What's that gonna? What's that good.
Do some people have this attitude that they like to burn things?
Should they just come out and do it?
So, this gets confusing in the modern world hear that if you have
struggled with something don't struggle this.
And counselors actually, you know, if there was a case of something
similar and the person went to a counselor, and they had to run
away from the counselor, because the counselor was saying that if
that's what you believe, that's what you're struggling with, just
embrace it.
Right psychoanalysis that just just do it. Like, man, I came to
you for a solution. Not to not to make it not, you know, not I
didn't come to a shaytaan. Right. So it's very, very complicated in
the world we live in today because of the postmodern ideology that's
out there about you know, your truth is your truth and my truth
is my truth. Anyway, fulfilling the promise Allah subhanaw taala.
As I said, mentioned, this verse applies to one speech that
contradicts one's action. He promised to do good that one
utters with his tongue, yet he does not fulfill
religious knowledge that one verbalizes yet does not act upon
We ask Allah subhanaw taala for protection for for because all the
MA in this position, right activists are in this position
where they're claiming things where they're encouraging certain
things, but I, you see, somebody came to Imam Malik Rahim Allah and
he said that if somebody
doesn't avoid a certain wrong, but then they constantly prohibit
other people from it, then Is that correct or not? He said, Of
course.
Of course, he says, because after the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
salam who is there that never sinned?
And he's and they say that if, after the Prophet salallahu Salam,
if people were not to do Mr. Wilma Rufina he anil munkar.
Unless they were pure, then there would be nobody able to do that.
And basically, people claim there's a poet, there's a poem,
which says that they want they want to stop people from
prohibiting others, unless they themselves are completely pure.
For the reason that if nobody tells anybody anything, then we
all become the same, then there's no feeling of guilt.
The reason why people don't want they is because I've had cases
where I've gone to places where I didn't eat a certain dish, because
I felt that the meat wasn't correct, while other Muslims were
eating it. Right. And this was in America, where there's a huge
confusion about what is halal and what is the Bihar.
So I refuse to eat it not I didn't make a big fuss. I just didn't eat
it. So another one of the Muslims, this was a non Muslim program,
where they had tried to cater, but they got it sourced from not 100%
Halal place, right, which is clearly problematic. So I didn't
eat it, I add something else. What's the big deal? That's my
problem is my issue. The Muslim comes up to me and says, What's
your problem with eating this?
I said, Well, I just don't trust it. He says no, but you know, if
somebody says Bismillah, it should be acceptable, this, that and the
other word, and say, Look, you take whatever you want. But if it
makes you feel more guilty, because I'm not then what's the
problem here?
I went to a rotary club meeting once to give a talk on Islam.
Right. So I go like this. And I saw a Muslim there.
This was in America, by the way, I saw a Muslim there. And he kind of
avoided me in the beginning, right? He wasn't very interested
in me. He's like, Who is this guy? Who is come to give a talk here
with all of these influential people. And then I gave the talk
and hamdulillah the talk went very well. Hamdulillah. Right, the talk
went very well. So I got a massive applause at the end. And all of
these guys are coming to you know, shake your hands. And then he
comes up afterwards. So you all went right, because initially, his
idea was that anybody who's dressed like this with dopey, you
know, quarter or whatever is gonna, he's gonna mess it up.
Right?
But maybe that's a bit stereotypical.
I want to ask you a question. In the last four weeks, I've got two
calls one from a brother, one from a sister. They call me and they
say, do you speak Bengali?
So it's like, why would you ask that question? Or because if you
spoke Bengali, then we could speak to in Bengali, but they were
speaking perfect English. Right?
Yeah. Hola. So I was like, Why? Why are you asking? He goes, No,
it's just I'm just then this was too and then another one.
Do you speak English? Right. And you can tell it's all the speaking
person. Like, do you speak English? I said, Yes, I speak
English. Are you calling somebody in Pakistan or are you calling
somebody in the UK
right
I said you're quoting somebody in London in the UK, or sorry, I
didn't check properly. But you know what my reading of this is?
It's a stereotypical move these don't know English.
It's this ideology that moves. These are these old guys, right?
Who don't speak English, so we must be to them in Bengali or do
whatever the case is. Right? It's quite interesting.
I'm not joking. I have three quarters in four weeks about this
to Bengali and one. Two Bengalis think that everybody speaks
Bengali or something.
But mashallah, you guys are preserved your language the
majority is losing it. Right? But mashallah, you guys are preserving
language which is really good. You speak Bengali?
Well, you do it sometimes my kid doesn't do it anytime you speak.
Now, what do you speak?
English?
When you speak sign language.
Mashallah, what do you speak?
And
that's good, you should speak. You should speak both. It's good to
have more than one language, it will help you in the world. Don't
ever think that, you know, I shouldn't learn it.
In America, I used to have these parents was one Sri Lankan family.
They had a very accented English.
And they were speaking with their children like that. It's like, why
are you doing this? Why are you speaking to your children in
English? Speak to them in Tamil.
They're going to pick up English in the school, you can't stop
them, they will, they will learn English. But if you speak to them
in your accent, you're going to because I used to teach that child
used to speak typical, right? I'm saying like, this is wrong, you
don't need to teach English at home. That's why you send him to
school at school for his school is more powerful than home. See, for
children, there are three environments they learn from.
One is the home environment. The second one is a school
environment. And the third is the social, you know, wherever you
stay your estate environment, whatever it is, which is the most
powerful one.
School is probably the most powerful one. And then when your
outside environment is the same if both of them are speaking English,
there's no way the person is not going to speak English.
And then the home environment. So now you have to you have to really
have a good home environment to be able to counter any wrongs that
are learned through the school environment and the outside
environment.
That's very important for us to do we ask Allah subhana wa Tada for
help. Allah subhanaw taala says all believers fulfill all
commitments, oh forbid or could fulfill fulfilling a promise is
something that is in the Quran. The Prophet sallallahu sallam said
a promise is like a debt.
In fact, it is even of more merit to fulfill.
You get even more reward to fulfill it, if not be dunya
relates this.
Now, you know in the Quran, Allah subhanaw taala talks about his
Marilla the salam what kind of saw the call yd?
Right? He was ever truthful in fulfilling promises. Why did Allah
subhanaw taala remember him from all of these different qualities
he had? He remembered him at this particular point.
So what's related? Is that a smiley some had agreed to meet
somebody at a certain place, but the person didn't show up. So for
example, you said, Okay, I'm going to meet you, right? By the masjid
or whatever tomorrow. And the person didn't, doesn't show up.
What are you going to do? Obviously, we have phones out,
you're going to try to call them out. But in those days, there was
no phones. What would you do?
He says, The Ismail Ali salaam waited there for 22 days.
What can aside the call yd. And nobody's telling you to do that.
Right. But at least don't be rushed either. What kind of
surgical yd because sometimes people it can be sometimes people
can come late.
In fact, the Prophet sallallahu sallam, it's related about him.
And I think this was in the early days before maybe prophecy. He had
arranged to meet with somebody and the person didn't show up. The
province of Assam waited for 24 hours until the next day when the
person remembered he went and he found the province of lorrison
there and the province of Assam. All he said to him was that you
have inconvenience me. That's it.
Now we get angry when somebody comes 10 minutes late.
Sometimes, actually, we're used to 10 minutes. But if they come 10
minutes above that,
I've learned that when somebody invites you to a wedding, don't go
on time. Allahu Akbar, you get burned you have to sit there for
two hours.
Right guys in a tutorial for this. You have to wait for two hours. So
now I actually
You purposely go late. Because I mean, you know, you don't have
time to waste.
Ibrahim and nahi, a great Tabby, he was asked about a man who
agrees to meet somebody at a place, and the other person
doesn't show up. How long should you wait for? Right? So this is
now a good question. How long should you wait for somebody?
What do you think?
It depends on the situation? What's an average? How long should
you wait for? Five minutes?
10 minutes. This is what Ibrahim? And he said when he was asked this
as a fertilizer question, how long should I wait for if the person
doesn't turn up? He says he should wait until the next prayer time.
Now, I think this is based on custom. Right? Every community has
different custom. For example, it said about certain countries, when
they have when they have a a appointment, they'll come five
minutes before, right? I think that's inconvenient. Right?
Because not everybody is prepared five minutes before the Germans
what they do, is they if they get there five minutes before they'll
walk around the block until it comes to the exact time then we'll
ring the bell. I think that's perfect. Right.
And a lot of time, I want to tell you another thing. A lot of the
time, we generally say this is a Muslim problem. But it's not a
Muslim problem. It's an Asian problem. Right? It's an Arab
problem. But it's not a Muslim problem. Because when you look at
Turks, for example, as the Turks that I know, they're Muslims, and
they don't come late, they're generally on time. In general,
right. So there are cultures around you, we always reduce
everything to a Muslim problem. Don't do that. You're
it's not a Muslim problem. It's a Gujarati problem, Indian problem
Bengali problem, Arab problem, whatever it is, right? But it's
not a Muslim problem, because not all Muslims around the world, that
undisciplined. Right, it's the culture we come from.
So
when the when you can break a promise, or when you can not show
up is when it becomes inconvenient for you to do so then you just
tell them that I can't come. But you remember, if you can't tell
them, and you still don't show up, and it was genuinely inconvenient
for you, then you apologize later, right?
For example, what could be the reasons why you don't show up?
Either due to a greater interest, there's something that's more
important for you to do a change of opinion, as opposed to simply
for no reason. I just don't feel like going. That would be bad
because you're leaving somebody in the lurch.
However, one should make every effort to fulfill both the promise
and the new, greater interest. Imam Ghazali Rahmatullah they say
is that the one who breaks a promise for a valid excuse is not
a hypocrite. Right? So Inshallah, we won't be in that warning. Yet
his act has the appearance of hypocrisy.
I may know inside that I had a greater reason for not going, but
the person who's going to be looking at me is going to think,
Man, this guy doesn't fulfill his promises. So it has the appearance
of hypocrisy.
And then he comments that a person should really strive to avoid even
the appearance of hypocrisy, just as he would do to real hypocrisy,
so that he should not consider himself excused without genuine
necessity. So as far as promise as far as possible, fulfill your
promises. Now, many orlimar have written that to break a promise is
to you know, after having intended to do so then to not show up and
not fulfill it is mcru, tansy, he in general, this is, unless the
person's harm is going to be great. So you don't, if you don't
show up to a meeting, and it's not going to be harmful, that's fine.
But if you didn't give me an example of something where they
would have financial harm,
because you didn't turn up.
For example, I promised to borrow your money, right, more than I was
going to buy a house, and I promised to
lend him some money. He went and signed and gave the 10% down.
Right? Is it 10%? Right? They gave 10% down. Now, after you've given
the 10% You've signed the contract, if you don't put the
rest of the money in, you lose your 10 Bomb, you're 10% and I was
supposed to give him 100,001 day maybe I have the ability, right to
give him 100,000 You have your house, your house. Inshallah,
maybe this is setting something up here. Right.
And at the last minute, he relies on me because he thinks I'm a
trustworthy individual signs the contract, he goes to the auction
and he thinks that I'm going to give him the money you know, you
have 30 days to pay or something he bids on it. And and then
After that I pull out.
Now, that's a financial burden. And if that's not haram, then what
is it going to be? So that's why the other might have mentioned
contemporary scholars, they say that certain promises,
particularly those that entail financial responsibility, or
likewise, are always mandatory to fulfill based on the amount of
harm that would otherwise ensue. We no longer live in a loose world
where you can break promise and it's easy here. It's all about
contracts. And if you mess up on that, you know, people are
unforgiving. They will take you to court, they will rinse you. So
it's no longer where you could just argue your way out or promise
somebody or just convinced somebody.
So we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala for
making us of those whose heart and external self is the same and who
fulfill their promises and who understand if we're of those
people who over promised and let's stop over promising just be
upfront and nice and clear about it. Allah hum and the Santa Monica
Salam Tabarrok the other god with the Quran, Allah who we are how
you yaka young Ramadan history Allahumma Yohanna yum and Nan La
ilaha illa Anta Subhana Allah in Konami, nobody mean just Allahu
Allah, Muhammad and mahalo Allah, we ask for Your Mercy of Allah, we
ask for your forgiveness of Allah, we ask for your blessings of
Allah. We ask forgiveness from all of those sins that we have
committed that brings evil influence in our lives. Oh Allah,
forgive us those sins that take away the blessing from our life of
Allah. We ask you to forgive those sins that bring dark darkness in
our life and that turned people against each other of Allah, we
are suffering from many miseries because of our sins of Allah.
Above all, we asked you forgiveness from those sins that
have become now part and parcel of our life and we've stopped even
thinking wrong about them. Oh Allah, grant us, forgive us for
our thought. Make us more discerning. Oh Allah, make you
make your grant us your love and the love of those whose love
benefits us in your court. Oh Allah make for us and our
children. Make make our spouses and our children a source of
gladness for our eyes of Allah, make our children and our progeny
until the Day of Judgment, a source of gladness for our eyes,
protect them from all the fitna that is out there. Protect us all
from the fitna that is out there. Allow us to do the right kind of
tarbiyah of Allah allow us to be fully truthful. Make us from the
seed the deen of Allah make us from those whose inside and
outside is the same in truthfulness to you oh Allah
protect us from all the characteristics of hypocrisy of
Allah grant us a class in our deeds of Allah make this Ramadan
better than any Ramadan before it. Oh Allah make us closer you're
closer to you this month than we've ever been before. But oh
Allah allow us to remain close to you and do not allow us to
retrogress after the month of Ramadan finishes, oh Allah protect
us from the shaytaan Oh Allah bless all of those who have
established these communities of the first generation if they've
departed this world fill their graves with light and make the
stages of the Hereafter easy for them. Grant them gender to fill
dose and those who are here Oh Allah allow us to rise to the
challenge and to do what's correct for this time and age. Oh Allah,
Oh Allah safeguard our Muslim brothers and sisters remove them
from the oppression around the world and bring back the humanity
in the human being. Oh Allah. Finally we ask that you send your
abundant blessings and our messenger Muhammad sallallahu
alayhi wa salam, and you grant us his company in the hereafter.
Subhan Allah be kurobuta Is it the mIRC phone was one