Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Imam Sha’rani’s Code of Companionship Series Importance of Advising others
AI: Summary ©
The importance of hedging travel plans, avoiding harm, avoiding negative emotions, and avoiding negative emotions when faced with problems is emphasized. Everyone is a responsibility to avoid unnecessary harm, avoiding false assumptions, and not giving up on mistakes. The Sharia's actions are important, as they categorize actions and hold true to the Sharia's actions.
AI: Summary ©
Well I mean forkie banal muda Hannity will moderate and then
Wadala Atma, RTB he Salma Hayek. The difference between these two
approaches without and Madonna is that muda rot is when you have a
sincere intention to reform your brother
and the other one would have had my cassette to be shaker mineral
holder with enough Sania essentially that.
Madonna is when you have intended something from your ego artistic
passion. You've got selfish motives there. You don't want to
hurt somebody because you can't deal with it.
You know, you don't care about him enough. You only care about
yourself. Isn't that what it is? Isn't that? Isn't that what it is?
That I don't care for him enough that I am risking hurting him and
dealing with the blowback? Right? The aggravation, because I love
myself more. Right? I don't love my brother in law enough for me to
tell him that because right now it's fine for him. He may be
enjoying it, but it's going to be harmful for him afterwards.
Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim
Al Hamdulillah Han Menard Amin or salat wa salam ala so you did more
saline who are the Sofie Ajay marrying a mother. In this next
piece of advice from Imam Shabani.
You he's going to tell us the difference between two concepts of
you can say communication. One is called moderates, and one is
called Buddha, Hannah, with our art and Madonna. These are two
Arabic words, they both come from the Morpha which means to mutually
it's a mutual exchange. It's about how you interact with somebody,
especially when you see somebody doing something wrong. How do you
deal with it.
So the meaning of modality is positive. Would Ohana is negative
in the sense that medalla means to deal with something with wisdom
with a future correct. And reform, advice and goodwill. But to do it
with wisdom, and not in a harsh way. So both of them.
The other meaning the other word, which is Madonna has more of a
negative connotation, which is to flatter somebody to conceal,
overlook, and gloss over somebody's problem.
Don't tell them what's right. Don't correct them
and be hypocritical. So it has all of those negative connotations.
Essentially, we deal with this on a day to day basis where we
confront situations where somebody needs to be
guidance. But
a lot of people will find the second concept, the flattery,
the Mudaraba to be much sorry, the Madonna to be much easier. Because
there is no pain involved in that.
There's no pain involved in that there's no hurting anybody's
feelings.
A really good example of this is
you've got a person who can considers themselves to be a
doctor.
One is you will get a person who will break the news to the patient
with no sensitivity whatsoever.
And he's got no training and sensitivity, for example, has
absolutely no care of how they feel. They say this is your
problem. The cancer spread all over the Your problem is critical.
You know, just it could be critical. But there's ways of
saying that just to kind of lessen the blow, find an easier way to
get in instead of pushing the knife right in like that and
twisting it.
The other one is. So for example, somebody's got to boil. Somebody's
got a wound of some sort. You tell them in a very nice way. Look,
this is really contagious or it could spread or it could get worse
we need to treat it. So it says it in a very nice way. treats it
maybe removes the past from it. But does all of this to all of
this is going to provide some pain. It's going to cause some
pain. There's no doubt about it. It's going to cause some pain. But
he does it in a in a way that the person appreciates. It takes the
pain because they see goodwill. That goodwill is all
was like that goodwill is like giving them sweets while you're
while you're doing the act. And it's all for their benefit. You
look after it slowly, slowly treated, put the dressing on it,
and give them the right medicines for it, and so on and so forth
until it becomes better. So clearly there was some pain
involved.
And
the doctor probably thought he was doing his job anyway to do it that
but he was sensitive in doing so then there's a another person who
saw that. And because he doesn't want to cause any hurt to the
other person. He says, Oh, don't worry about it's nothing big. It's
not a big deal. This is what a lot of people do, who are not proper
doctors, they just like to gloss over everything. So I don't go to
a half big doctor. A lot of people will, you know, generally when
something happens, we consult the next person, our brother, our
relative, somebody in the masjid or whatever, and they say, Oh,
don't worry about it's not a big deal. Okay, that's nice to make
somebody feel nice about it. But it could be critical in some
cases. So that person would they would a person would do is, oh,
don't worry about it, they'll put a plaster over it or something
like that, or a bandage over it, hide it, essentially conceded hide
it. And then it just becomes worse and worse and worse. So that's a
person who's doing Madonna. The second one, it's not the perfect
example. But it gives some understanding here. So you see
somebody who has issues that needs correction, because they're going
in the wrong direction and is critical is dangerous, where
they're going to end up with this at the end of the day. So
especially when you've got rights towards your brother's, somebody
who you think you're close to, then it becomes extremely
important for them to do that.
It becomes extremely important for us to do without its
responsibility. That's what he's saying here. I mean, how can he
Allah Yoda Hina. It's the right of one brother over the other that
you do not act in this
conceding, flattering, hypocritical way of Madonna.
You don't you don't do that. That's not. That's not sincerity.
Hadith mentioned a dino Naseeha. Our entire deen is based on this
goodwill towards one another. And sometimes acting out that Goodwill
means to say the right thing, even if it's better, to say the truth,
even if it sometimes hurts a bit, but in the long run will be of
benefit.
I believe that communities, societies will disintegrate from a
spiritual perspective. There's a spiritual malaise, spiritual
degeneration, when this hadith is not acted upon, and the Prophet
salAllahu alayhi wasallam magnified it to such a degree by
saying a dino Naseeha. Just using two words, restricting it to
tourists to show this very strong connection between the two. That
was one way of the both of us and speaking you would say el hijo out
of the Hajj is Arafa, from which we understand that if you miss out
of you've gone all the way bought a ticket and everything and then
you've missed out of at the time that you're supposed to be there,
your hedge is invalid, that entire trip of yours all the money,
everything's gone. So it's just two words hedge is out of it's
more than out, of course, but out of it is a big part of hedge.
Likewise, there's a lot of aspects of the deal. But one big aspect,
very integral aspect is no see her. And if you look around us
today, we find it difficult to even correct our own brothers
sometimes.
You know, we find it so difficult to point up. Because number one,
we don't know how to do it. If we knew how to do it properly. And we
were successful, you'll want to do it again. But we've seen other
people how the wrong way they've done it, we think that's the only
way to do it. And we want to be nice, nice, good people. Right? So
we don't say it, we don't do it. We just can't figure out we don't
want to take the time to think what's the best way and believe
me, it's a very difficult task. And sometimes, there's cases where
I have had to think for sometimes days on end of the best way to
approach the situation. Because I just wanted, I felt strongly
enough to say something and do something about take some action.
I just didn't know how to do it. And then I had to literally it
bothered me for days and days until I found one way and then one
day I you know would bring it up. So it's not easy. But it's also
the answer to it is not just to be silent. Be good to everybody.
Especially as an imam. You know, you get this you have a bigger
responsibility, but everybody has a responsibility but as an Imam,
you have a bigger responsibility.
But believe me if you do with sincerity,
sincerity has to literally just kind of ooze out of your body when
you when you do not see how to somebody,
you know, sincerity has to be all around you, you have to have a
halo of sincerity so that the person can see through it. And it
just makes it so much easier. I remember when I started my Imam
position in America, there was a local brother, who was the
president of the Masjid.
I learned a lot from him. He would come to me.
He'd sit down and start talking about something random. Oh, this,
that and the other get you into a conversation. So you in the
conversation? And I said shaking in the hotbar. You said you
mentioned this, is that what you meant?
And it's some slip of the tongue, Hadith, maybe miss read or apt
sometimes in quick, when you're speaking very quickly, very fast.
You might say something. So he's got you into a conversation. You
know, it's not like an abrupt now I want to I want to speak to you.
And you say something to grab somebody outside the masjid, on
the road on the corner, front of everybody never like that. And I
never found it difficult to I never became defensive with him. I
never found it difficult to accept what he said. It was just like, he
was just slipping it in. It was just so wonderful. And that's why
I've made mistakes where I've had to tell somebody something, and I
said, Can I just speak to you as a program happening? And then took
somebody out and said, Can I speak to you said, yeah, and then I told
him and he just became defensive? Then I realized that
is your job to just go and tell somebody and
just established that you've told somebody? Is that what your job
is? Just to say the words, it doesn't matter whether it has a
benefit, or not. No, it's about correction. How's that? What's the
best way to correct somebody? And sometimes you have to ask Allah to
help you what you have to ask Allah to help you all the time.
But sometimes even the best way to do this.
It's not easy. But it has to be done, especially between people
who are supposed to be sincere friends. You know, your friend is
going down the drain.
He's deteriorating, it's going in the wrong direction. You need to
do something about it. This is a very important point that he
brings up here. Very important point.
So that's why he says Allah Yoda Hinako right of one brother over
the other is do not cover his wrongdoings by being hypocritical,
not saying anything and flatter him. The hadith mentions the deen
is Naseeha. And what kind of poem he uses this term quite a bit, the
comb.
Comb here refers to
the Messiah, the people who are focused on reforming themselves
and on spirituality. Right call them Sufis call them whatever you
want. And one will be hiding matter now a shoe for either
salehoo
Halakhot, this is what they would say this was a kind of a code of
conduct between them. This was a maximum that they would use, which
is the brothers on the path they are, they'll be good. They'll be
on the right track. They will be benefiting one another.
As long as Tanaka Chu they explain Tanaka Chu as Tana subtle
as giving one another Naseeha acting with goodwill to one
another, helping reform one another. So they are on the right
path and they are being beneficial to one another as long as they
have this goodwill and this advice for one another. Then he says for
either scholar who if they make peace between them, that the word
the literal word is if they make peace between them, then they
destroyed. What it means by making peace is not in making peace. It's
just like they stay silent between one another and don't say anything
and agree that you don't say anything to me. I don't say
anything to you. Subhanallah Subhanallah This is talking about
one brother over the other. I've had cases in the recent past, at
least to husband and wife cases where the husband is doing
something wrong haram haram flirting or maybe complete Zina in
one case probably completely another other one flirting for
sure. And he wants his wife to tolerate it. He won't and she's
saying, you know, she obviously wants to keep the marriage
together. But he wants it that both cases he wants said that she
doesn't say anything to him. She agrees with him. Does Madonna
essentially, right. Doesn't say anything to him.
He's willing to lose his kids over
Robots
this is just the passion of the knifes
over whelming one to such a degree that they're not thinking straight
he will regret it five years down the line 10 years down the line
after his head His pleasure has grown a bit older and ajeeb
achieved thing is that this is all happening in midlife when you get
to 40.
I call this midlife crisis. I told the woman this I told the sister I
said there's a midlife crisis. Do we believe that in Islam, I said,
it's got nothing to do with faith. It's a it's just the way you feel
you've come to half your life. And some people, they just feel that
their life hasn't been successful. They haven't had fun. So now
they're looking for some weird fun, so they start acting like
children.
I'm not joking. This is this is an ajeeb age, you have to be careful
when you're 40 is also mentally mature. But if you're wrong, and
you just don't have the guidance, you will fall off. And you will do
some crazy things and some people have lost their family.
This is the case this is the time when people will divorce their
their spouse, if they've had a seat. Sometimes people will bear
it Barrett Barrett, they've got problems with their spouse, right?
Genuine problems. Sometimes. It's when they get to this midlife age,
that they will finally have enough courage to take.
Take the step of divorce, whether that's from the wife or the
husband,
this is a very critical age.
What do other people do in this age? Well, some people they go and
buy a motorbike.
Have fun.
Some people they want to start traveling. And some people they
want to maybe start smoking, just different things, you just you
need something different at this time. I don't know if any of you
have experiences where that age. But if you're, if your focus is
Allah, then this is the age when you will get closer to Allah
achieve. This is the age when you will be in
when you will be in spiritual crisis. If you don't think you're
good enough with Allah subhanaw taala. That's why Imam Ghazali
mentioned that anybody's if anybody's virtue and good does not
overcome his evil by the age of 14, then he has less chance
afterwards. Because he has a possibility at the age of 42. When
I say 40 I don't mean and one dot age 40. Like you know, it's around
that and remember, you become 14 Islam, before you become 14 in a
Gregorian sense, in about 3039 you will start feeling this, it's that
period
if you get past this, Mashallah. But it's a time when you should
use it to get closer to Allah,
spiritual crisis, find somebody to help you
read the Artola Sama, one of the most powerful to us that
there's two doors that I always like to make, right, that I found
to be extremely useful.
One Allahumma zakenna, hubback Werehog Burma and Fermina
herbivore InDeck
of Allah grant us your love, and the love of those whose love will
benefit us by you. Which means good company, which means good
company. This is Subhanallah It has helped me it's a very powerful
tool and so very important. I if somebody asked me, you know, I
hate this question. What's your favorite Hadith? What's your
favorite Quranic verse? You know, some people, they kind of reduce
it down to that I don't like that idea. recently asked me what's
your favorite door at this is one of them. And the other one is
Robina Hublin. I mean, as well as in our jury, Tina Kurata, or even
where's your Anna, Tina Inaba.
Our Lord, grant us from our spouses, those that gladden our
eyes, and from our children.
So wife can make it for Husband, husband can make it for wife, it
says, as much wives, whatever, right? Whatever the connotations,
and from our children, from our progeny project is into the Day of
Judgment. So if we don't even see our progeny, progeny between
beyond the second generation, on the Day of Judgment in Sharla,
when we get up, we'd have these 1000s of people, maybe millions of
progeny, who knows that we're glad in our eyes, because Allah would
have accepted them for something so wonderful. Those two are very
powerful to us, I believe, one for yourself, and one for you, too.
It's all about St. Karma, isn't it? It's all about steadfastness.
In this world, it's all about negotiating the problems in this
world. That's our biggest challenge. That is our challenge.
Because it's a matter of Tofik for Allah subhanaw taala. He just has
to remove his assistance, his care, his attention, and then a
person
You will naturally just
inclined towards the dunya. And that's essentially one meaning of
the law, which means here we learn elder law means to leave somebody
to stray Kaitlan essentially what it is, is to forsake when he
forsakes them, removes his mercy from them removes his attention
from them, then they are naturally going to just sway towards the
dunya because that is
the human Shepherd.
zillionaire nasty hog Boucher, how words mean and you say what they
mean? Well, an arterial more control over them.
I mean, are filthy. And while cannot even makan 30 minute, the
heavy oil filter and all of these things that Allah subhanaw taala
mentioned as as challenges for us. So those two to us, very
important. So this midlife crisis is just an natural experience that
people have a right, not everybody has to have it, you might not feel
it. Right? You may not experience it. But if you do see yourself
acting weird at the age of 40, around that age, where you want to
do something radical, maybe this might these words may help. I
don't know. I'm hoping because sometimes a person doesn't know
what they're doing. And after dealing with a lot of people for
many years, I see that this age is that weird age. That's why I
mentioned it spontaneously to this to this system, which is, is that
Islamic even to think that way. It's a reality. It's a phenomenon.
It's a reality. It's got nothing to do with an ideology of
religion. It's just the way people are. La ilaha illa Allah Allah
protect us, Allah help us when we know forky banal muda Hannity will
moderate and then Wadala Atma, RTB he Salah Heke the difference
between these two approaches without art and Madonna, is that
modality is when you have a sincere intention to reform your
brother.
And the other one would not cause it to be shaped your mental health
enough sanea essentially that.
Madonna is when you have intended something from your egotistical
passion. You've got selfish motives there. You don't want to
hurt somebody because you can't deal with it.
You know, you don't care about him enough. You only care about
yourself. Isn't that what it is? Isn't that? Isn't that what it is?
That I don't care for him enough that I am risking hurting him and
dealing with the blowback, right? The aggravation, because I love
myself more. Right? I don't love my brother in law, enough for me
to tell him that, because right now it's fine for him. He may be
enjoying it, but it's going to be harmful for him afterwards. That's
essentially what it is. It's knifes when you're not coming into
it. And look, this is not just about between brothers and so on.
This is also about when you want something from someone you know
they're doing wrong, but you're willing to be blind to what
they're doing wrong because you can get certain benefits from
them. You can get a job from them. Maybe they're going to they're
going to put a good word for you or something like this. You don't
say anything wrong.
Now, there's going to be many manifestations of this right? If
you run into some trouble in terms of how to deal with situations,
consult somebody I'm gonna mention that right now. Because for
everything that we say here, there could be so many different
variations and factors. And they all have to be understood through
a proper understanding.
How does it know how CB Rahim Allah says in his resolve? Woman
danach Russia? Anybody who does muda Hannah tweedy, who does this
cover up fluttery with you, then he has deceived you.
He's he's made he's made it seem like everything is rosy. He's
deceived you woman. Let me tell ya see how that Felisa be in luck.
And the other way to look at is there anybody who you don't think
is willing to accept you and I'll see her. Now, of course, as long
as you are able to deliver it? Well, you've got the wisdom to
deliver it. You know, they say an ounce, a small amount of knowledge
requires huge truckloads of wisdom to deliver it in the best way. And
essentially, that's the way I understand wisdom. I understand
wisdom and hikmah as the means of delivery of your knowledge. So
some people have a lot of knowledge, but they don't know how
to deliver that knowledge. So they just throw it left, right and
center, giving fatwas against everybody. And there's no wisdom.
Another person who has a bit of knowledge but he makes he has much
more impact because of his delivery. And humans. They're
suckers for delivery. They love a good delivery. Right? And that's
how you can get through to human beings is the way you speak to
them. With the help of Allah subhanaw taala so
whoever does not accept you're not see her he's not your brother
anyway.
So he's looking at it from both ways are one of them. Hata Radi
Allahu Anhu says La Jolla Rafi told me les subida
Are 16 There's no good there's no favor in a group of people who do
not advise one another who do not have that goodwill for one
another.
When I say Rafi Coleman, la buena Nasi hain, and there's also no
good in any group of people who do not love people who give Nasi. So
always think, before, when you're confronted with situation like
that,
why am I not telling that person?
Is it because I don't know the way to? It could be because I don't
know the way to do it. And I don't want to offend an upset, then find
a way to do it is going to be very difficult for you to do it in a
way that doesn't prick them at all, but you don't have to stab
them straight to do it so that they get picked on me, right? If
it's because so a lot of the time it will be because of this reason
not because you want any anything from them. You just want to keep
the peace. And in some cases, you don't have this whole issue of
dramatizing the whole issue of American paraphernalia LaMancha.
And there are conditions for Anon, Mancha, if you think that the
person is not going to it's going to cause a massive problem. If I
even say anything about this, then wisdom in that case demands that
you don't say this is what the Ranima have said of the past. This
is what rozalia said, This is what the jury has said. And this is
what a number of others, when they speak about the conditions are
only modifying the hand in one cup. If you're going to say
something to somebody, and it's just going to make them worse,
it's going to cause a bigger fitna, then that is not the way to
do it, then there's another way to do it, right.
However, if you find that the reason why you're not saying is
because you want some benefit from them, and you're allowing them to
then persist when you could do something, then that's even worse
than reverse situation. Because then your losses involved in the
other one is not involved as well, you you want to keep the peace,
you don't want aggravation.
This is how this is how the modern societies post modernism or post
post, this is how they want people to be let everybody do what they
want, as long as it's not harmful to others. Don't say anything,
they call it don't judge anybody.
Yes, we must not be judgmental, but not to the level that we must
be totally like a senseless
don't judge me, don't judge me, you know, this kind of thing. It's
a big, massive problem. This is what they want. They want everyone
that's why a poet says that they want nobody to do I forget the
exact words they want nobody to I'm gonna model the nail Mancha.
Because then if they then then we can all become the same. That we
all happily sin, then it's not a problem. Nobody says anything to
anybody else. That's where we that's where we're going. That's
where we're going with this thing today.
The next point here is I mean, how can you get to him? And if so who
will give you one difficulty either which either watch or
they're in the WHO second I mean, who is if he is Lottie, daddy come
in botany.
This is
Subhanallah Allah.
I'm not even sure how this plays in all situations. But I'll give,
try to give some understanding of this. From what and May Allah help
another writer, one brother over the other is that sometimes
somebody you have to be with, they create a big burden on you, when
they're with you. You just don't feel right.
Just don't feel right in that company creates a burden.
But on board muscles,
it just,
you know, subhanAllah
so he's saying that you should accuse yourself of being arrogant
and hypocritical. When that happens, blame yourself first.
Because a lot of the time there's nothing wrong with the other
person shaytaan is creating some something weird in you. Maybe it's
to do with some flashback of somebody else that was like that
who you had a bad experience with. Now this poor guy is going to bear
the brunt of that, you know, of that experience? could be many
reasons why initially you feel like that about somebody. It's
possible that he was looking in the other direction in the
ultimate format out of I mean, hi, tellef, Mr. Tanaka, Mina, if
tellef that they say whoever's roof, the price or whoever's roar
was together with somebody else's rule in the parliament, Ottawa,
before we come into this world, then generally it's very easy to
hit it off together. You feel a Congeniality. But when it wasn't
like that, then you come sometimes, but that doesn't mean
there's nothing something wrong with that, brother. Do you
understand?
Sometimes all it takes is that there's a demeanor problem.
You see somebody and you think they're arrogant.
You think they're full of themselves, but when you actually
sit in or they're weird,
you know, strange to our eyes.
But as I mentioned before, we're all strange to somebody else.
But once you start talking to them, suddenly all changes.
There's one person, he finds somebody strange, not dressed very
well.
It was somebody telling me about his workplace, used to work in a
mutation.
Indian sweet shop, and there's some guy who used to come and used
to buy, you know, a good bundle of, but he wasn't dressed very
well. Didn't look it, he's had a bath for a while or whatever, you
know, that kind of thing. So this particular employee would say to
others, when he comes just quickly, quickly get rid of him.
And then one day, the other person said, Do you know this guy is a
very wealthy man, he's got several houses, and he's got a lot of
assets and everything like that. And suddenly, this guy's attitude
completely changed. And next time He comes, he starts talking to
him.
That's very selfish, isn't it? When we judge somebody by their
appearance, okay, understandable, people shouldn't be dirty and
disheveled and so on like that we should we should be obviously show
some kind of elegance about us because Allah is Jimmy, we handle
Jamal. But at the end of the day, can you see this is human and this
the way humans work? Many humans work that way. Majority of humans
probably work but we react to things.
Money.
That's why there's a few attractive factors that attract us
to anything which is one is wealth and money. One is beauty. So if
somebody doesn't have the beauty, but they got the wealth, can you
see still there's an attraction, right? So there's beauty, there's
money and then this position has a right to the very difficult to you
know, there's no aristocracy left. These these special families still
does
apply within cultures, but within the English, the British context,
there's no there's not much aristocracy. everybody's the same
now. But now it's about position generally be four aristocracy in
position with together people. There were certain families that
were historically the leaders, the estate owners, the
the land owners and so on and so forth. Right Jagi to the corner,
right, that was the case but not anymore. Now, Mashallah.
Everybody's equal.
Poor people eat like kings. Today, some of the stuff that we eat and
we have access to it was only available to the, to the royalty
before. Some of the stuff today that you have access to it was
only made in the Ottoman Sultans kitchen. Nowhere else. That's
where baklava came from.
That's where a lot of this Turkish Delight was invented. Now it's
available to everybody.
Subhanallah we're living in some ideal world. If somebody came from
that, it'd be wondering what kind of stuff we have in our
refrigerators. What What kind of, you know, what is beyond us today?
What is beyond us today? Anyway, so
that's human beings, they get attracted to these things.
Allah help us see the truth is the truth. Allah allow us to be
for Allah, Allah subhanho wa Taala allow us not to let these things
mislead us.
But this is human life as long as you use it in the right way.
So
it is very possible that sometimes you have you feel a sense of
heaviness, inconvenience, discomfort with somebody around
you, especially if you're forced to work with somebody. Right?
Whatever the case is, so first, you have to try your best to
remove that from your insight.
There's a person there's a person who stayed in the company of Abu
Bakr Al Qahtani, called Captain Ubercart. Okay attorney Mohammed
ignore it ignore Jafar al Qahtani of Baghdadi who's who he is
originally above that, but he stayed in Makkah mocha Rama. He
was called the Sirajul haram the lamp of the Haram
right, the lamp of the sanctuary. That's what he was known as.
He stayed in the company of Junaid, Al Baghdadi and Hazaras
and Rudy and a number of others.
One of his very prominent statements was a shepherd to Zima
shape on
passion, amorous passion and desire is the reins of shape on if
Satan wants to control somebody, he throws the reign of passion
over them, then he can pull them in directly in any direction he
wants from an other busy mommy he can act
To
whoever allow shaytaan to girdle them with that.
Then he becomes his servants, he becomes the seventh shaper. So
anyway, there's somebody who decided to stay in his company.
And
she humbucker attorney found some difficult
kind of discomfort with that person.
So he said he is trying to remove it.
So he says, I gave him something a gift.
So yeah, he gave him a gift to see if that would remove because
sometimes when you give something to somebody, you're taking an
extra step, you're breaking an additional kind of barrier.
But it still persisted, this discomfort still persisted. So one
day,
he had a private meeting with him and he said to him, Look, put your
leg on my, on my cheek.
Right.
Walla, Harlem, as I said, this is something that I'm still trying to
understand myself. He refused. I said, you have to do this. And
then he did it. And he said, that just took away everything from my
heart. I guess it was just breaking the formality for
whatever reason.
If somebody has a better understanding of this, please let
me know. Because I'm going to confess i
i find that difficult to understand.
Well, I mean, how can you add the next the next one, the next right
he speaks about is a Jacoba looser. So your friend now your
brother is giving you an Asiya it's the right of your brother
over you that you accept that nausea? When did you give him
nausea? If he gives you enough do you have to accept it as well?
fuckup call the Messiah have said man or Shuddha Illa be hit the
flu. So mean? Gotta be lucky to either socket Shafiq. What the
machete have said is that if somebody guides you towards that,
which will give you security and safety, and an escape from the
anger of Allah subhanaw taala. If somebody guide you towards that
which will allow you to escape from the anger of Allah subhanaw
taala, then that means he it's as if he has interceded for you.
intercession is in the hereafter. Right? But in this world, if He
guides you towards that which will help you to stay away from the
anger of Allah. It's like he's giving you an advanced
intercession, he has interceded for you. Now, this is not a
hadith. This is the understanding of the Messiah, from the
experience for a non starter who were killed a loser who, if you
are obedient to Him, and you accept and you agree with him,
and you accept what he says forgot Gobelet fika Scheffer to who then
that means his intercession for you has been accepted, which is a
good sign for the hereafter. It's like his intercession for you to
save you from hellfire has been accepted for an article and thus,
this shafa will benefit you. There'll be a benefit to you were
in law, if you don't accept it. For now that we live in common law
and federal home shafa to share if you're in then we seek refuge from
such people, who the intercessors intercession does not benefit
them. What are people that if Allah subhanaw taala on the Day of
Judgment, when he is allowing people to intercede and
people accepting the intercession, he is, Allah is accepting
intercession, but he does not accept the intercession for this
particular individual, he must be really, really bad. We seek refuge
from such people pay to get unwanted karate already been when
they are heedless. And when they
avoid.
Now see,
they sidetrack themselves, they ignore it. Another point, say
point is that sometimes somebody gives you some Naseeha. Right?
First and foremost, on a practical level, if somebody comes and gives
you some advice,
don't become defensive. First and foremost, just withhold yourself
as bad as it sounds, as harsh as it may be as much as it may hurt.
Especially if you've never been criticized, and you've been
brought up like a prince in your house or a princess in your house
where you will always right, for whatever reason, right.
And you're just not used to being told off.
Well, you're not used to being corrected because mashallah you
have everything.
You walk around with airs, you've got whatever
The takes you've never, you know, had to want for anything,
everything is there, then somebody somebody tells you have
SubhanAllah.
Now, obviously, you only going to be listening to me here and
listening to these words if you've got some interesting reformation
right? So wherever you're listening to me, whether that's
here today or somebody online somewhere else, right? I'm
assuming that if you're listening to and you stumble upon this, or
you happen to be here, then it's obviously because you've got
insha, Allah, some hope of getting close to Allah subhanaw taala. And
I pray that Allah grant us the ability to say what's correct and
beneficial, right. So if that's your case, then do not become
defensive.
When you're not used to criticism, you will become defensive.
Everybody loves themselves more than anybody else. So if you get
attacked, you see it as an attack. Don't get defensive, number one.
Number two, try to ascertain the sincerity it helps.
Right? It helps. Now, if you understand that the person is
sincere, but he's gone the wrong way about it. Right? That may be
the case, he might be sincere. He has concern for you. He's gone the
wrong way about it.
Right. Oh,
he's sincere, but he's got a misunderstanding. You don't have
that problem. Genuinely. He's just conflating something exaggerating
something, misunderstanding something, right? jumping to a
conclusion, whatever it may be, then do not becoming defensive
doesn't help at all. Because you're you're not your emotions
are not in check. You're not in your emotion and your love for
yourself speak. You're not going to be logical about it and
rational about it. So yeah, it could be absolutely false. What
he's saying, misunderstand, misconstrued. Don't become
defensive, if it's wrong, except what he says. Listen, what I mean
when I mean by except his listen, and then find the right
opportunity, whether it be that time or later, to correct the
misunderstanding.
The benefit in this is that you will teach him
to this if they're sincere, of course, right. If they're sincere,
you will teach them to not misconstrue things. And they will
still be willing to come and give you an RCA in the future.
Because if you shut the door from one person who came to correct
you, then who else is today who corrects anybody, Allahu Akbar,
today who corrects anybody today.
Nobody corrects anybody. The person who is able to correct
somebody who is like Abu Bakr Siddiq, he's the honorable hardtop
today, very difficult for somebody to go and tell someone even for an
Imam, even for a scholar, they don't correct people today.
It's so now this poor guy has come to correct you if you're going to
shut him off as well, then. So again, this is sincerely sometimes
somebody who's who likes to attack everybody left, right and center,
that person needs to be dealt with. That's a different story.
That's a person who earns his living by that.
It's a different story. So that's why he that's why one nnessee had
that's given not by Shalini, but by one of the people who are
commenting. He says that, beware of rejecting the Naziha of your
brother, even if he is not absolutely right and correct in
his nasiha. Because that will prevent him from correcting you
again, or bringing something to your attention in the future. Now,
it's important for you to now advise him in the best way
possible about his misunderstanding, and try to
correct it like that.
Now, the bit one of the best examples and role models we have
in this regard, is if you look at the story of how they are a Salam
and Musa alayhis salam, just look at that interaction. He kept
trying to correct him and his response to him because he was
obviously misconstrued. So it's absolute possibility that we look
at the liar of things. Obviously our relationship with somebody is
not gonna be heard in a new Saudi Salam but you know,
we definitely can learn from that these two great men having this
interaction holds a lot of inshallah lessons for us in that
case. I mean, how can ASCII ASCII
a year Zima and who in AD Hello hula? Hula Jana la the ad Hooroo
in LA in Doha, who were in Paula Zimmern who Phil asrb What a yes
no Habima B. B mocha sama TV has an idea Yama clear.
That's a high level of selflessness.
High level of selflessness.
This is actually trying to get to the level of Rasulullah sallallahu
alayhi wasallam because
He's gonna do this on the Day of Judgment. Because the promise on
the lowest sentiment that near judgment is not going to be enough
CFC is going to be Almighty Almighty, He is going to be
working hard tooth and nail to try to get people into Jannah. So he's
saying that another rate of one brother over the other out of
sincerity is that he should make a firm resolve, you should have a
firm resolve that if Allah sends him to Jana, meaning himself to
Jana, he will not go to Jana, until his brother also goes into
Jana. Even if that takes a long time indirectly. I'm going to wait
until my brother comes with me. At least have this resolved. I know
what's gonna happen on live judgment, but at least have this
resolve, at least have this resolved in this world.
And he would be willing, yes, he would be willing to give some
distribution, his good deeds on the Day of Judgment, he'd be
willing to give some share of his good deeds to help his brother
out. That is serious.
Now, if there's one person we should definitely do this for
should be our spouse.
Our parents, I mean, this thought should be in our mind. Yes, Allah
says on the Day of Judgment, yo, May a federal Maru mean he will
owe me he will be or Sahiba t you have any? Right? That is the state
of that day, most people overwhelming majority, if not all
people will do that. But there's nothing wrong with desiring good
for others right now.
At least that desire, because with our desires, our actions change in
this world towards people. Because if we're concerned about their
judgment about somebody, we're going to be concerned about their
dunya before they ask
this is extremely deep Subhanallah what was this man going through?
Can thought that yeah, what kind of connection he had, we don't
even think to this level.
Allah be blessed and he's allowed us these things to open up in
front of us. So even if we can't act on all of this, at least it's
in our mind that these are possible horizons. These are
possible goals for us to reach as well. Allahu Akbar, And
subhanAllah
shiksha Rani came from very Sufi tradition.
What used to happen is
that when a shave took
a promise, the beta the pledge with the Marines with the
students.
Then the sheikh would say to the marine Sedna equipotent phyllite
Isla, now we've become brothers for the sake of Allah. When nadji
Mina Subhanallah when Nergi midnight yet who will be at the FE
he'll metal piano, the one who survives on the Day of Judgment,
who gets away from the terrorists of the day of judgments? He must
hold on to his brother's hand and the day of judgment. So I don't
know if I'm going or yoga. But now we've made this decision to come
together. We must help each other out mainly on the Day of Judgment,
mainly on the Day of Judgment. Let's make that pledge now
Subhanallah that we help each other on the Day of Judgment
because that's when we seriously need some help. Anyway, the next
right so I mean how Kilakila Allah Khan what I assure you the worker
who who female see it in a minute in Pattaya tube Allah why they owe
you Lisa whom in typical manner. Another writer, one brother over
the other is that he should refuse to eat and drink he should stop
eating and drinking. If his brother falls into a sin or a
calamity,
something bad happens to his brother. Until Allah subhanaw
taala forgives him. Forgiveness means takes him out of that
calamity takes him out of that punishment.
Which essentially is if you're going to stop eating is not just
going to be stopping eating and you're talking about serious
prayer for them serious assistance for them.
Walk walk a dog no Adama Hainan SLB Allahu Bella on our Marina
Yeoman? Well, a musical ta we in Tirta Ferran who ignore Adham
Ibrahim Adham Rahim Allah, he did this, when a calamity came upon a
friend of his for 14 days he refused to eat. He stayed hungry,
in essence, probably on the bare essentials of water or something
like that.
To help his brother out, now, these are all extreme examples
that we've been given, so that at least some of our selfishness can
be eroded.
The benefit of all of this is that it's not something we may be able
to ever do. I don't want to be, you know, less optimistic. But the
point that I see the benefit that I get is that it cuts away and it
helps our own selfishness erodes, and it can take away some of our
selfishness
Then inshallah it's extremely successful just to provide some
evidence for the previous one of why you should feel this way to
your brother is because if the calamity came upon you when you
stop eating and drinking
the calamity as such, you'd stop eating drinking. So you should
like for your brother what you'd like for yourself. So feel his
pain. All of this comes from a hadith that's related by Muslim
from Norma no no Bashir or the Allahu Anhu Rasul allah sallallahu
sallam said method and what we need to feed our the him what our
homie him What are out to feed him. Mr. Jessop, the example of
believers of the community of believers, the body of believers
in terms of their love for one another, their mercy for one
another. And compassion for one another is
like that of a body of a single body, the body of Muslimeen, the
multitudes, the billions, 1.8 billion, whatever you have,
they're supposed to be together in terms of these three ideas.
They're supposed to be like one single body either stuck, I mean,
if one limb is in pain, that there are other Husa Iran sacrilegious
to be so happy when Hama that the rest of them will also
call out and explain the pain that they have, because of one place,
they will also complain of a headache and also complain of a
fever, complain of sleeplessness, whatever, whatever the pain may
be. Because of one part, the rest of it hurts.
My pain is a split, it is a what you call it is a pinched nerve,
but it affects the way you think you're not comfortable. Right? It
affects the way you can move.
At the end of the day, our nerves are all connected. So that's how
the body of Muslims should think And subhanAllah today, this time
of individualism,
Allahu Akbar, we Allah help us, Allah give us our Shafique back
our compassion back for one another. But that's that's where
this is from. That's where this is wrong.
We're very far from this hadith.
The next point that he makes here is
well, I mean, how can I ask you out of your shader who? Illa Azimi
Hora Umatilla what will the untied the hoody he be hired to you'll
see you either walk out a fee, or sorry Dunleavy, Radhika Surya
Rahman Al Qaeda in Beija, middle Mahadeva. What that means is
another writer, one brother over the other
is that he should guide him
he should guide him to reveal
the things that Allah subhanahu wa taala has prohibited to make sure
that he fulfills the rights of these things.
Anything that Allah subhanaw taala has prohibited made unlawful, he
should stop at those boundaries, he should respect that he should
revere that whole
limit what the borrowed and he should be distant from
transgressing those limits. So that's what we should be helping
our brothers to do. And our brothers should be helping us to
do that. In the sense that yes, even if that even if your friend
is falling into a minus him
falling into a minus and you should see that sin as a major
sin.
Right, be Jameel Mahadeva
it's a bit of a monkey term there. But basically, with the common
theme, or the common thread being opposition, and controversial to
Allah subhanaw taala. So whether it's a small sin or a major sin is
still a contravention of Allah.
Because that's what ignore Arthur Allah says, he says that.
Don't look at the smallness of the sin. Look at the greatness of the
one that sin is against.
Then the opposite side, he says, don't look at the greatness of the
sin once you've committed it, look at the greatness of the mercy of
the one who can forgive that sin.
So
for Allah as Luca de dialogflow, Tani La Ilaha. And you should keep
doing this. Now, this is obviously going to be a very special
relationship, especially if it's a che student relationship, that's
when you can be doing this. The student has to be have the same
humor to be able to accept that I was going to say what kind of
shake this is many tails we have on minor minor things. Right?
Children, same thing my father tells me often small, small
things, it's not going to work for most people to tell you that.
People just want to be given victory. They don't want to be
taller than doing wrong. Subhanallah
but again, this is another concept. You know, this is another
relationship that he's mentioning there and
Essentially this is just teaching he says that you should do this.
He should continue to do this until that person your friend,
your brother, your associate, sees that any heedlessness from ALLAH
SubhanA wa Tada even for a small moment is worse than Zina and
worse than killing somebody else. This is something most of us will
not understand or not appreciate. But you know that earlier, they
used to see one moment of heedlessness as such a massive sin
because you have lost so much how can you heedless of Allah?
You're in His presence. How can you just turn away from Him for
even a second?
What is that Joe? Eric? The garfein Saddam cough here is what
it is.
If you are heedless for just one moment, it's like your coffin for
the for hundreds of moments. Because you have neglected the
great right of Allah subhanaw taala as in most people want to
pray appreciate this because we just about fulfill the basic
rights. This is about talking about full presence with Allah
subhanho wa Taala and be be so aware of him that you know when
you are not aware you are aware and most of our status that we are
only aware of him just about when we sit down to do vicar.
Even many of our salads pass without our awareness of ALLAH
SubhanA wa Tada. We just do it as an act. We don't even feel Allah's
presence in our salon.
So I leave that point. There's a hadith the Junaid Al Baghdadi he
mentioned the acapella saw the Quran, Allah Allah He Alpha
Sonatine sama out of the Angola Latin kind of refer to axotomy
monarda, who
somehow that is just
where are we? I don't even want to translate this because you might
put some people off. Right? If you need them Baghdadi, he says that
if a truthful person
put his entire focus on Allah subhanho wa Taala for 1000 years,
and then after that, he just neglected him for a moment, then
that which he has lost is more than what he gained in 1000 years.
But this is absolutely true when you see the recognition or if you
get a recognition of who Allah is and what he what we owe him
because of who he is, and what he does for us.
But then, he says, I mean, this is getting into proper, so Wolf, and
tarbiyah he says so many that come with a Sonic then when the student
becomes more accomplished, right after you've got him on every
small thing and now he becomes totally aware of not wasting his
time. Then after that, Raja Illa a committee member eric, now you
should take him back to a more complete form of tarbiyah or
methodology. What would that have the mode that the hoodoo the
Allahu Allah has to be my what are the official? Now you go back to
making a distinction between haram and my crew and man, Dube and Musa
and MOBA and permissible and preferred and so on and so forth.
First, everything is haram don't do anything wrong until a person
is fully focused on Allah. Then after that you go back to what the
Sharia tells you to be halal haram and so on. Right
for You out of the mill copywriter Selena oh sorry Rama crew Well,
mcru Hola. Hola. Hola. Hola. So then he must obviously consider
more serious the major sin over the map minus in the minus sin
over the mcru and this minus one over the mcru. This is a Shafi
thing okay. The Hanafi is for us. The mcru in general macuahuitl
Remi, is worse than a minus in. So this is a Shafi way of looking at
it. They've got a different kind of categorization. So don't get
confused. While mcru Hola Hola. Hola. Right, well, mcru Hola.
Hola. Hola, hola.
And the mcru over that which is suboptimal? Well, we're going to
show that Marathi but who dude, what in New York? In? No one
Albanian shout in Marathi. But who do the Illa your argument I
believe and the Mona Vita booty her Fatah for phenyl alanine
Wahhabi has to be Maratea. So we have to obviously make that
distinction between what's haram and what's mcru No doubt what
Cadigal qualification will not move out for Azima logic at
Fermilab and do likewise when it comes to actions that we must do
obligations, for example, so we have to revere the watch more than
the man Dube than the preferred the mazahub more than the other.
So this is a very Shafi categorization. This is not a
Hanafy category that we don't have
In this same kind of code, although it is similar, we're
we're non demanda coolibah. Hitting B has to be tacky the
Shariati and we act upon each of these are regularity and each of
these needs to be based on the emphasis of the Charlotte on this
for jasarevic we had any higher de la Surah TB diety so then the
Salic will now come back to the form of his beginning I'm not
going to go into this in depth because it's it's it requires a
lot of additional commentary what kind of Musa Tolomeo one Noah he
will be daily study commission but I'm mentioning still for those who
can't understand it. It says well well costume
mortality from Minnesota with Marathi one man here if Adonijah
what can it MUSAWAH to our media when Noah he will be die on his
side he came in ship that it aleni that will leave me he did lie to
Anna for stop them Marathi woman here at home often was suddenly
Barbie Mahadeva because another young Lucia Haiti Hekmati. tuffa
woody here, camera what are the visionary for some mama Carmen
Rafi run Walmart calm on alpha. So essentially saying that this is
just the procedure of therapy of training, that initially you think
everything is wrong. The same way Haram is the same as a minor sin,
don't do any of it. Then when you mashallah become used to being
particular, then you can make these distinctions, which is what
the Sharia requires you to do. But why do you do the extreme first,
to get you to the stage where you will do this otherwise, you will
have no energy or ability, the shower will be too strong. And you
will say oh, it's only a macro. It's only this It's only that and
then you will do that and then eventually you'll end up with the
big one. So try to do everything first or avoid all the wrongs
first completely. That's what he's trying to say. What Allah Takahara
human CoderDojo needs and based on what we're saying, This is what
how we will understand Junaid Baghdadi statement Lee sir in the
them wouldn't have a minute offer to any lie to either. For me he
used to say there is no sin greater than heedlessness from
Allah subhanaw taala. To be honest, that is what it is why we
sin is because we don't have a line our minds in our hearts when
we're sinning. Otherwise we would never sin if we such a strong
Allah is watching me when we know somebody else is watching us. If
we know that even a child is watching us we avoid doing some
somebody's watching haram and then a child comes in to quickly pull
it off, doesn't want a child to see him. Do we think Allah is
lightened than that child?
But he's because we don't remember Allah. And that's what he's
saying. For in the labor labor to other men are lovely. Because to
be heedless and absent from Allah is worse than heedlessness. Oh,
and the Hora and Saba will coil and this is going to be an awful
analyte either, because he is seeing that the reason why people
fall into sin is because they are negligent of Allah subhanaw taala
La ilaha illAllah La ilaha illa Allah that was a bit heavy,
but beneficial for those who understand that as well. May Allah
subhanaw taala help us? May Allah sisters, may Allah grant us to
fique May Allah really get his true understanding of what Allah
wants from us?
The point of a lecture is to encourage people to act to get
further an inspiration and encouragement, persuasion. The
next step is to actually start learning seriously to read books
to take on a subject of Islam and to understand all the subjects of
Islam at least at the basic level, so that we can become more aware
of what our deen wants from us. And that's why we started Rayyan
courses so that you can actually take organize lectures on demand
whenever you have free time, especially for example, the
Islamic essentials course that we have on the Islamic essentials
certificate which you take 20 Short modules and at the end of
that inshallah you will have gotten the basics of most of the
most important topics in Islam and you will feel a lot more
confident. You don't have to leave lectures behind you can continue
to live, you know to listen to lectures, but you need to have
this more sustained study as well as local law here and Salam
aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.