Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Husband and Wife Bonding Projects

Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss various community projects that could benefit people, including a voluntary one for couples, a community wide one for couples, and a focus on couples in a project to improve society. They emphasize the importance of finding ways to help people and improve society, including finding ways to help people and improve society. They also discuss various random ideas and general ideas that raise money for local charities, such as raising money for local charities, oil fund, aid for Syria, aid for Syria, aid for Syria, aid for Syria, and aid for Syria. They also mention a program for children to help elderly people with computer skills and social services, and suggest organizing events and donating old clothing and food to help homeless people.
AI: Transcript ©
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Smilla Rahmanir Rahim Al hamdu lillahi Hamden girthier on the

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Ubud Mubarak config Mubarak anally he can bow your head bottle buena

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la Oba Jalla Jalla, who are in Manoa who Salatu was Salam ALA. So

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you can have even Mustafa SallAllahu Tada, I think you are

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and he asked me about like, I seldom at the Sleeman kefir on

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helium we've been. So Inshallah, today the discussion is going to

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be about something a bit different. And some time ago I did

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a,

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a talk on the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam and how when he

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entered into Madina, Munawwara. As you know, from the history of

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Madina, Munawwara. They used to be different tribes, they used to be

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Arab tribes, they used to be Jewish tribes. And then, within

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the Jewish tribes, there were three tribes, and some of them

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were actually

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difference with one another. And then you had the Muslim tribes,

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the Olson huzzah Raj, even though they actually came from the same

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ancestor, and they actually collectively called the Blue Kala,

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that was their collective collective term. But they had this

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skirmish and problem and difference that actually led to a

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lot of violence, and that had been going on for decades. So when the

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Prophet salallahu Salam came here, into Madina, Munawwara, from Maka,

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maka, Rama, one of the first things that he started was this

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community project, there was a number of things, one of them that

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he did with the Jewish community, which is, was this agreement or

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this deal, that everybody's going to protect one another. Medina,

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the year three was ours, and we're each gonna protect each other from

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invaders, that was a community wide thing, then, within the

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Muslim community to bring them together.

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A very smart move, really perfect move was the fact that he got them

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to start on a community projects. And the community project, as most

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of us will know, was Masjid Nabawi. And it was something that

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everybody took part in. And that's why they felt that it belonged to

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them. When you do community projects actually brings you close

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together, it gives you something to do, it's obviously a voluntary

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thing, it's not something you're doing as a paid job. When you're

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doing something as a paid job. Generally, what happens is that

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you're then choosy and picky about whether you want to do that job or

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not. Because then it's about is it worth my time, because you expect

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something in return for it. So there's all of those kinds of

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decisions to make. But when it's something voluntary, that you're

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doing as long as you enjoy doing it, or as long as there's a need

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for it. And if it's both of those things, where there's a need and

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you enjoy doing it, then you will really, really enjoy doing it. And

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you'll feel really accomplished. And this helps on a number of

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fronts. So today, what I want to discuss with us I want to actually

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explore, I've got a list already of community projects that we

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could get involved in now these are kind of generic things that

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other people have compiled that I've taken. But I want us to then

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think of specific things that we can think of that would be

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relevant, more relevant to us, and maybe even more pressing and more

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needed for us. And the reason why I say this is that husband and

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wives doing this is going to start we want to start this on a husband

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and wife level, on a couple's level, right? Because the benefit

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of this is that some people just find their life very boring. And

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the kinds of stories that we receive from husband and wives

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who, even after years of being married, you know, two years of

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being married 10 years of being married, they haven't really

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broken the ice. They're living in some kind of really strange,

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cultural,

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some some really strange cultural.

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As a very cultural couple, I would say that they are living the way

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they may have seen other people in their family living who never

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broke the ice, even after 3040 years of marriage. Like it's just

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this, you can say this, living together, just so the convenience,

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to produce children, to basically just fulfill the fact that, okay,

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I need to be with a wife, I need to be with a husband, I need to be

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married. And they're each just performing a few responsibilities

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for each other. But there is no love or affection. There's no real

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common goal as such. It's really strange. I mean, you know, some of

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you would not even believe that that's the case. But this is the

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case with some people, they just haven't broken eyes, because they

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just have no idea how to come together.

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And the focus is on the negatives of one another.

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Nobody recognizes the positives. And the studies that the studies

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that are

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in psychology that have been done about this, what generally happens

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over the case over the course of a long time, is that where there's

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negatives that you start focusing on, then any good characteristic,

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anything good, any good virtue is then last. It's not to say that

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nobody that you know, these people don't have any good virtues, that

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they have no excellent characteristics. Everybody does.

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Like everybody has something good

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Would you've seen people where they really criticize somebody

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who's really bad, but then you must be able to find something

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that's good about them. Now, obviously, some people are

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dominantly going to have very bad characteristics. That's

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possibility. But in order to help a husband and wife relationship,

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or even family relationship, we extend that out to parents and

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children relationship, brothers and sisters, right children and

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parents, cousins, family wide as a whole, this can be expanded, and

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then as a community,

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you know, the community of our sisters of our community, right?

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All of this really, really helps. One way to get together is to do a

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common project. And doing something for our social society,

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for our community is going to be a community project. And the benefit

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of that will be that you will actually start having to trust one

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another, having to rely on one another strengths, you know, where

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one may be weak, okay, you do that part. And I'll do this part, you

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know, you do this aspect of the job. And I'll do this aspect of

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the job. When the unit were able to complement one another in that

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regard, you'll see that you'll actually start appreciating,

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you'll discover things about one another, that will be quite

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amazing. I mean, on numerous projects, there'd be some people

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the discussion would be should we involve them or not? Like, what do

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you think they can do? And somebody said, No, involve them. I

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think there'll be a good asset, when you involve them in the

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martial law, they come out to be very, very helpful. So some people

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have hidden talents, but because the environment hasn't been right,

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the setting hasn't been the context hasn't been the right

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place for them. They've never been an opportunity to that they've

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just been constantly groaning and, and having a gripe about things.

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Let people do these things. Subhan Allah and there's so many

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different things. So today, what we're going to do is we're going

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to look at that the benefits, aside from our social community

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benefits that we will have how you will be able to benefit others

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will be able to benefit ourselves, and spiritually speaking from a

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divine perspective, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said

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that will Allahu Fionnula, Abdi Makana lab do fi only he that a

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Allah subhanho wa Taala will remain in your assistance, as long

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as you remain in assistance of your brother or sister. So if

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you're going to think about your brother and sister out there in

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the community, other people, humanity in general as well, how

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can we

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do something better? How can we improve, then Allah will assist

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you in your own issues. And that's huge. And, you know, we need to

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just stop complaining about people look at this Masjid is doing this

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than the other, it's not doing this, it's not doing that. And

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there's lots of places they can always do more. Even the most

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successful masajid. Even the most successful institutions, most

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successful organizations that do a lot of things, they're just

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relatively doing more things than others, every place can do more.

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Because at the end of the day, it depends on what the needs are, if

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you've identified the need, but the masjid can't figure it out the

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Committee of the masjid or the organization, they just don't get

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it. Well, maybe you can volunteer and give them some kind of

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assurance that I'm willing to just help purely free. I'm not trying

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to control anything, not trying to get a position. I'm not trying to

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do this, because this is what people in their chairs are worried

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about. And it's a sad fact. But let's just deal with it. It's a

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sad fact. We're not talking about how to remove people from

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committees here. We're talking about how to teach people, educate

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people and help people and that's what's important. Right, that's

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really what's important. So there's numerous Hadees to this

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effect. I mean, you can, as a community, if there is a need,

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then we should feel it as much as anybody else. I'm not even

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speaking about international needs right now, although that's very

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relevant as well. But the whole Muslim community should be like

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one body as the Prophet said, a lot of them said either stuck in

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her own itch, the girl who saw it will just get the visa hurry, will

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will hammer that if just one portion is one part one limb, one

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finger, one nail is being in pain is in pain is hurting, the entire

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body should feel it. And that is why people start complaining in

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the first place. But then they their concern gets misdirected.

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This is the problem. To be honest, I think the majority of our

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concerns that we have about our local organizations, they get

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misdirected. While it starts off on a sincere level with genuine

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concern about the betterment of our society. But then it gets

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reduced to just complaints with shaytaan ones because he doesn't

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want an improvement. So we then don't actually get any improve. We

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keep waiting for somebody else to make that improvement. And we

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start the blame game. So now the point here is that let's stop

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doing all of that. And there's so many things that we can come up

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with. So I want to ask to use our minds today from the list and of

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things that we're going to look at today to try

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To see what else we can come up with. And initially, our focus is

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for couples.

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Initially, our focus is for couples that what can you do as a

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couple with your husband? Right? What project can you pick? That

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he's good at? You're good at? Because I'm speaking to sisters

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today. So that's why I'm targeting in that sense. How can you come up

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with something? What is the way then we'll get what what do we

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have to do for those things? And how do we put them now, these

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things you don't have to do every day. I mean, people are busy,

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you've got your own children to take care of, you've got your own,

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maybe work that you're doing. You're maybe you're employed

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somewhere, maybe you're doing some other great work teaching,

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whatever the case is, and your husband's probably also working

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and so on. What we want to then speak about is that it doesn't

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have to be something you do every day, it could be something you do

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once a week, you can do at weekends, or Friday nights, maybe

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or one weekday night, it could be maybe something that you do every

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two weeks, or maybe once a month, maybe not that maybe it can be

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seasonal you do there's a there's a project that we need to do at

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eat. Because maybe we need to try to get some qurbani meat together

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and take it to people who are suffering who are who don't have

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so much money or shelters, let them have some meat at that time

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as well from the qurbani, they get the book and blessing as well.

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Maybe some kind of Ramadan drive. So it could be a seasonal thing.

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It doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be just, it could be to do

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with Hajj, maybe collect money to send people who are older now and

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can't still go for Hajj, maybe you know, we can help them go for it.

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So it could be seasonal things as well. There's no, there's no, you

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know, there's no

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limit as to how much you could do. And there's no minimum that you

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must do, it's just getting an idea. And believe me,

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it will have a huge impact. Because when you have a common

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goal, you'd be surprised about the kinds of things you learn about

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one another.

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And when you do things together, and you you basically have to

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experience successes and setbacks, and then think about how to deal

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with so let's just say that you're doing your well, you're welcoming

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homeless, you're welcoming refugees into the into the area,

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right, you're, you're helping them set up home, for example, or

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you're helping feeding for the food bank, right helping feeding

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homeless people, for example, on a Friday or you know, weekend or

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whatever it is, whether you're helping to educate, tutor

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children, because you know, you're Your husband's a teacher, maybe

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you're a teacher, you want to set up like tutoring for disadvantaged

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children, or for needy children or for underprivileged, or whatever

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it may be, you'll be surprised that you may run into a, you may

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run into a bit of a challenge that where you're going to hold this,

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right, because maybe your home is not big enough for it, you're

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gonna run into a challenge, you're gonna start putting your minds

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together.

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Normally, you're bickering about silly things. But now you're

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actually putting your mind together, to think about how you

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can overcome this challenge, you suddenly become a team, Team,

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develop teams develop love for one another, that it's just a natural

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thing that when you do things with people, and you then start seeing

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their qualities, because they're going to come up with some idea

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that other that you may think is wonderful, that causes attraction.

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And the thing is that this happens in the workplace, and sometimes to

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the detriment of husband and wives of their married lives. Because

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there's a lot of people who will say that, that the husband common

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thing that the woman who works with that at his colleague, is

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much better than his wife, because she seems to be so much more

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intelligent or caring, or compassionate. You know, she, she

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offers to make him tea once in a while, or she offers to help him

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out with something. Likewise, a woman who's working, she's going

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to think that about a male colleague, who might say, you

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know, I'm going to the coach, should I bring you some coffee,

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right. And she doesn't have to do that, or he doesn't have to do

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that, or whatever it is, you know. So when you're working together,

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and in a lot of jobs, you actually work on projects together. So then

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when you have these setbacks, when you have challenges, you try to

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come to common, you work on it together, you try to come to some

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kind of some kind of escape from these things, some kind of

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solution for these things, that brings you together. And then

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after that, the most wonderful thing is that when you actually

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finish a project, and you actually see the see the fruits of that

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project, right, and in this case, if your volunteer tearing, that

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kind of you know, the that kind of success, and that kind of result

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is amazing, the kind of dopamine that it provides the kind of you

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know, it just makes you want to do things again, and it brings you

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closer together so that there can't be any harm in doing this.

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And then it's a sadaqa jariya Inshallah, right the rewards that

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you get for helping other people. The community improves if a family

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unit improves.

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If a husband and wife improves their children's situation,

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environment will improve. If that improves, we'll have had a

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healthier families healthier children in the community, right?

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I just think better do better communities, families will

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improve, because then eventually what's going to happen is somebody

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is going to see you're doing that. And they're going to want to help.

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But they're gonna want to do something similar. Right? For

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example, I gave a talk about community about leaving sadaqa

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jariya, leaving some kind of perpetual charity. And there was

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several people that came to me, for example, is one of them. He

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says, yes, there's an old man in that we know, he started helping

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people, I think, in Bangladesh, or somewhere, or Myanmar, in Burma.

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And, you know, we, we, he's an old man, right, and he collects

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people's money, he and these, this this person that I was speaking

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these men, they said that we've got much more access to funds than

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he does. So we're gonna get encouraged. Now, they got

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encouraged to do this by looking at that man, by listening to the

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talk, they made that connection. And now they want to do the same

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thing. So that old man who started that volunteering, you know, for

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and helping that relief for Burma, he gets reward for what he's done.

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But he's also now going to get reward for those people who've

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been inspired by seeing what he's done. And that's just free reward

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and free investment. So there's it this is just like a no brainer.

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Now, I don't know what you're thinking sitting down here, you

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know, like, what's your thoughts about this already? Like, what am

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I going to do? Right, I can just imagine that she'd been telling us

00:16:36 --> 00:16:39

like, what are you going to do? My husband? I'm not going to work

00:16:39 --> 00:16:43

with him. Like, you know, what's he going to do? You know, don't

00:16:43 --> 00:16:46

start off on the negative this listen to the possibilities. Now,

00:16:47 --> 00:16:51

there's a few things here that I'm going to, I'm going to I'm going

00:16:51 --> 00:16:54

to discuss that kind of gives us some idea of how you look at this.

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Like, why should a person participate? I've mentioned a

00:16:59 --> 00:17:02

number of things. And this is what people say, it gives you a way to

00:17:02 --> 00:17:03

help others.

00:17:04 --> 00:17:06

I mean, it gives you I mean, helping others has some of the

00:17:06 --> 00:17:08

greatest level of satisfaction.

00:17:09 --> 00:17:12

When you help others, and you see that they've been helped, and you

00:17:12 --> 00:17:15

hear that they've been helped, they just does something, it makes

00:17:15 --> 00:17:16

your life worth living.

00:17:18 --> 00:17:22

It helps you improve your community. Right? It helps you I

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mean, they say if your children get involved in helped to

00:17:26 --> 00:17:28

strengthen their resume in college applications, I mean, it's,

00:17:29 --> 00:17:33

that's, that's a side byproduct, Alhamdulillah, you're going to

00:17:33 --> 00:17:37

meet a lot of new people in this, you're going to get access to a

00:17:37 --> 00:17:41

lot of people's lives. And you will be enriched by that, it will

00:17:41 --> 00:17:45

give you the opportunity to do sugar for what you have, when you

00:17:45 --> 00:17:48

see what others don't have, and you're helping them and will give

00:17:48 --> 00:17:53

you a cause for thanking Allah subhanaw taala, really, and it's

00:17:53 --> 00:17:56

going to make you new friends, possibly, it's going to make maybe

00:17:56 --> 00:17:59

some of them will be able to help you out with something else make

00:17:59 --> 00:18:00

your life more enriched.

00:18:01 --> 00:18:05

Of course, it results in personal growth, because it is mentioned

00:18:05 --> 00:18:09

from a spiritual perspective. And also just as a human being, you're

00:18:09 --> 00:18:12

going to feel better that when you leave this world that 100 Life

00:18:12 --> 00:18:15

helped out this many 1000 people, or I've started this project and

00:18:15 --> 00:18:19

that project and look, mashallah, it's continuing, right. And

00:18:21 --> 00:18:24

there's, there's just numerous things, this is numerous things

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like so there's a, there's a list here that I have, again, this is

00:18:28 --> 00:18:33

just a list. And some of this may not be relevant to us. But I want

00:18:33 --> 00:18:37

us to get ideas from this. So you know, maybe get out your pieces of

00:18:37 --> 00:18:41

paper or phones or whatever and start thinking if you come up with

00:18:41 --> 00:18:44

any ideas, put them down, and then I'll take your ideas. Inshallah,

00:18:44 --> 00:18:47

at the end, these are just for consideration.

00:18:50 --> 00:18:53

Now, firstly, you should probably try to think that,

00:18:54 --> 00:18:57

is there a particular group of people that I would like to help?

00:18:58 --> 00:19:01

Is there a particular cause that I'm very passionate about? Think

00:19:01 --> 00:19:03

of the generally the cause you're passionate about is the one you

00:19:03 --> 00:19:07

generally complain about. Right? So are you always complaining

00:19:07 --> 00:19:07

about

00:19:09 --> 00:19:13

education? Are you always complaining about the Masjid? Are

00:19:13 --> 00:19:15

you always complaining about the committee? Are you always

00:19:15 --> 00:19:19

complaining about poor people not enough is doing or not for Syria?

00:19:19 --> 00:19:22

Right, for example, then maybe that's where your passion lies,

00:19:22 --> 00:19:24

most likely, because that's the one you feel like you want to

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complain about. It's possible. So what are your passions and

00:19:27 --> 00:19:28

interests?

00:19:31 --> 00:19:36

What are you good at? So maybe somebody is very good at baking.

00:19:36 --> 00:19:39

So we're going to try to use baking in something. And you'd be

00:19:39 --> 00:19:42

surprised what you can do with baking. Right? I mean, there's so

00:19:42 --> 00:19:45

much that you can get through baking, you know, you can get

00:19:45 --> 00:19:48

access to people like that. Right? You can help a lot of people that

00:19:48 --> 00:19:52

you can generate a lot of funds like that as well. Are you good at

00:19:52 --> 00:19:52

cooking?

00:19:53 --> 00:19:57

Are you good at speaking? Are you good at coordinating?

00:19:58 --> 00:19:59

Or are you just good at complaining?

00:20:00 --> 00:20:04

What are you complaining about? So think about these things. So these

00:20:04 --> 00:20:07

are some very random general ideas. I mean, some of the most

00:20:07 --> 00:20:13

common ones, right? raising money for your local charity. So we have

00:20:13 --> 00:20:17

numerous local charities, we have no Oil Fund, obviously we have, we

00:20:17 --> 00:20:21

have the those containers that go to Syria, right, the aid for

00:20:21 --> 00:20:25

Syria, aid convoy that goes to Syria. And we have a number of

00:20:25 --> 00:20:29

others that, you know, I can't think of, you know, mentioning

00:20:29 --> 00:20:32

their name right now, but there's numerous others. So you can just

00:20:32 --> 00:20:36

get on to something that's already happening. That's generally easier

00:20:36 --> 00:20:41

sometimes hold a bake sale for your favorite charity, your local

00:20:41 --> 00:20:45

charity, another charity, your mother's, the local masjid, or

00:20:45 --> 00:20:47

whatever the case is, or for the homeless shelter.

00:20:50 --> 00:20:54

These are just some random things, right? Go and find a lonely person

00:20:54 --> 00:20:59

in your community, an old grandparent whose children

00:20:59 --> 00:21:03

unfortunately are neglecting their neglectful, they are working all

00:21:03 --> 00:21:06

day they don't really look after she's just, I mean, she wants to

00:21:06 --> 00:21:08

go back to India or Pakistan or somewhere.

00:21:09 --> 00:21:13

You know, I really feel sorry for some of our old elderly here, they

00:21:13 --> 00:21:16

want to go back to their village because there it's sunny, at

00:21:16 --> 00:21:19

least, you know, they've got people to speak to there's always

00:21:19 --> 00:21:22

somebody passing by. I remember I was in India just now for two days

00:21:22 --> 00:21:25

in my village, and one of my dad's cousin brothers, like an uncle of

00:21:25 --> 00:21:29

mine, it comes along and he was sitting outside, right? And he

00:21:29 --> 00:21:32

says, I've just come to help you pass your time. I'm like, what is

00:21:32 --> 00:21:37

that? For me, that's just really strange. Because, you know, when

00:21:37 --> 00:21:39

you're always doing something or other, you don't have any time you

00:21:39 --> 00:21:43

don't need pastime, right. But in a village, there's a lot of

00:21:43 --> 00:21:46

pastime. That's why they do a lot of talking. And then it leads to

00:21:46 --> 00:21:49

obviously a lot of Hebrew as well. But that's a problem. But, but

00:21:49 --> 00:21:53

it's, it's very difficult for them to be here cooped up in a house

00:21:53 --> 00:21:56

with the weather that we have. But the problem is that they can't go

00:21:56 --> 00:21:59

back either. Because there's nobody there to look after them.

00:21:59 --> 00:22:01

There's people to visit them, but there's nobody to look after them.

00:22:01 --> 00:22:04

Because all their children are here, this is really weird limbo,

00:22:04 --> 00:22:06

where in in this generation, it's probably going to take another

00:22:07 --> 00:22:10

3050 years to resolve this. Because then eventually,

00:22:10 --> 00:22:14

everybody's going to become, you know, second third generation

00:22:14 --> 00:22:16

people here, their parents are going to be here as well. But this

00:22:16 --> 00:22:19

is the thing that we have to think about. So you've got a lot of

00:22:19 --> 00:22:22

people like this who are in their homes, they don't have anybody. So

00:22:22 --> 00:22:26

it might be a good idea to go and speak to them. Not not doing

00:22:26 --> 00:22:29

PunchOut, but just go and speak to them, whatever, then take them out

00:22:29 --> 00:22:29

to maybe

00:22:30 --> 00:22:34

maybe even gather them together for all peoples tea tea or

00:22:34 --> 00:22:37

something like that just makes them feel a bit better. Right

00:22:37 --> 00:22:41

leaves, removes the depression removes that kind of feeling from

00:22:41 --> 00:22:44

them. And of course, we have actually got people and which

00:22:44 --> 00:22:46

we've spoken about before. Here's what we've got people in all

00:22:46 --> 00:22:50

people's homes as well. Right and Hamdulillah I think some sisters

00:22:50 --> 00:22:54

did start going there. And I think that's really appreciated.

00:22:55 --> 00:22:58

There's always charity auctions that are taking place, help

00:22:58 --> 00:23:01

deliver. I mean, this is something that we don't probably do help

00:23:01 --> 00:23:04

deliver meals and gifts to patients or local hospitals.

00:23:05 --> 00:23:07

I mean, you just contact the Muslim chaplain, then they'll tell

00:23:07 --> 00:23:11

you about the Muslims there who sometimes don't have any family,

00:23:11 --> 00:23:14

there's nobody there to I mean, you know, a lot of our family

00:23:14 --> 00:23:17

Alhamdulillah the hospital has to kick us out. Right? Because we

00:23:17 --> 00:23:19

have so many people go to the hospital that we are kind of

00:23:19 --> 00:23:22

overrun the hospital. And after then regulate the only two people

00:23:22 --> 00:23:25

allowed otherwise, you know, mashallah, in our community,

00:23:25 --> 00:23:29

especially the majority community, I mean, the whole, the whole clan

00:23:29 --> 00:23:31

turns up at the hospital hamdulillah generally, but there's

00:23:31 --> 00:23:34

a lot of people that doesn't happen to and there's people who's

00:23:34 --> 00:23:37

not even there for curry Mandela. So that's why the chaplain has to

00:23:37 --> 00:23:40

take care of that. But there's a lot of thing there's, there's even

00:23:40 --> 00:23:43

women there who are giving birth, and they're from communities that

00:23:43 --> 00:23:47

don't have an extended community, they new members of, you know, a

00:23:47 --> 00:23:50

new community, and their their husband's at work, or he's

00:23:50 --> 00:23:53

somewhere else, he can't be there. Right. So there's people that can

00:23:53 --> 00:23:57

go and help them. In fact, there's people who are in hospitals, who

00:23:57 --> 00:24:00

don't know how to speak English. A friend of mine, another Maulana he

00:24:00 --> 00:24:04

was at, at the hospital for his wife, and he noticed that with a

00:24:04 --> 00:24:06

few other women, and they were treated being treated really

00:24:06 --> 00:24:10

badly. You know, by some of the nurses, you get that you know,

00:24:10 --> 00:24:11

somebody that's it not all the nurses are the same measure that

00:24:11 --> 00:24:14

we have really good nurses, but then you do have a few, you know,

00:24:14 --> 00:24:17

are not willing to give the extra because maybe they're overworked

00:24:17 --> 00:24:20

or whatever the case is. So that is another factor that women can

00:24:20 --> 00:24:23

even take into consideration to go and find out from us and get some

00:24:23 --> 00:24:27

relationship with the nurses there with the administration there,

00:24:27 --> 00:24:30

that if you need somebody, we know we're willing to come in at least

00:24:30 --> 00:24:33

once a week or whenever there's a need to help somebody out to do a

00:24:33 --> 00:24:37

translation for people. Interpretation. That's an

00:24:37 --> 00:24:40

important because, you know, we still have people who don't speak

00:24:40 --> 00:24:42

English. I mean, it's there. It's they've just come new.

00:24:44 --> 00:24:47

Right? So now let's kind of look at it more in a topical sense,

00:24:47 --> 00:24:52

helping children in schools. Right. And again, think about what

00:24:52 --> 00:24:56

you know, is more relevant to us. So tutoring children, you know,

00:24:56 --> 00:24:59

after school or in weekends, and I know they had something like that.

00:25:00 --> 00:25:03

Clapton, my brother, who's a teacher's at City Academy. He's he

00:25:03 --> 00:25:06

and a few of his friends, they started like this where they would

00:25:06 --> 00:25:07

tutor children in the weekends.

00:25:08 --> 00:25:11

Right. And that was a free service that they were providing, because

00:25:11 --> 00:25:16

that's how you're going to get better students, better children

00:25:16 --> 00:25:19

from our community. That's a hikma. At the end of the day, you

00:25:19 --> 00:25:21

have to have a good intention for this and it's a big, it's a good

00:25:21 --> 00:25:24

kid, my inshallah. And those children will feel good about it.

00:25:24 --> 00:25:27

Because if they psychologically feel that, you know, mashallah,

00:25:27 --> 00:25:32

we've got a boost from our masjid, tutoring by our, you know, Masjid

00:25:32 --> 00:25:34

through our masjid, they're going to it's going to strengthen their

00:25:34 --> 00:25:37

bond with Islam, you're always worried about losing our children,

00:25:37 --> 00:25:40

but we have to think out of the box, and more practically, about

00:25:40 --> 00:25:43

how we can help them. So I don't know, I mean, many of you, our

00:25:43 --> 00:25:47

children, our teachers and to, you know, have PGS or is a PGDCA, or

00:25:47 --> 00:25:51

whatever, pgcs, or whatever you have, right? That that could be a

00:25:51 --> 00:25:53

help there as well.

00:25:54 --> 00:25:58

I mean, this isn't, these aren't my idea. So these sound a bit

00:25:58 --> 00:26:03

weird, like, you know, knit baby blankets to be donated to

00:26:03 --> 00:26:06

hospitals or homeless shelters. I mean, that's if you're good at

00:26:06 --> 00:26:08

knitting, you'd probably think I'll just go and buy one, collect

00:26:08 --> 00:26:12

baby clothes and supply supply them to, to donate to new parents.

00:26:13 --> 00:26:16

There's probably parents out there who don't have, especially the new

00:26:16 --> 00:26:19

refugees and others who don't have, you'd be surprised, you

00:26:19 --> 00:26:22

know, working through novel, novel benevolence. And we've actually

00:26:22 --> 00:26:24

discovered there's a lot of poor people. I know, we've mentioned

00:26:24 --> 00:26:28

this before here. And I think over the last four or five years, we

00:26:28 --> 00:26:31

probably spent over 100,000, just in the local area, just in

00:26:31 --> 00:26:34

Hackney, Waltham Forest, and a bit of

00:26:36 --> 00:26:39

what you call a forest gate area. Majority from Hackney though,

00:26:39 --> 00:26:43

you'd be surprised how many people are in need in these areas, just

00:26:43 --> 00:26:46

because you are eating well, and were eating well, and everyone or

00:26:46 --> 00:26:49

your cousins have a nice house and they're sorted. It doesn't mean

00:26:49 --> 00:26:52

everybody else is Hamdulillah. Allah has blessed our community,

00:26:52 --> 00:26:55

there's no doubt about that. But there are that doesn't mean that

00:26:55 --> 00:26:59

everybody else is right, that everybody else has the same kind

00:26:59 --> 00:27:03

of mashallah disposable income that you do. Another one, if

00:27:03 --> 00:27:06

you're good at sports or whatever, fitness, go and coach a youth

00:27:06 --> 00:27:10

sports team, go and give exercise classes to our women. I mean, they

00:27:10 --> 00:27:13

need it. Right? Because unfortunately, I mean, you know,

00:27:13 --> 00:27:16

we don't have this tradition of exercise. So why are women do a

00:27:16 --> 00:27:19

lot of work at home, they're moving around cooking. That's not

00:27:19 --> 00:27:24

enough for the general fitness. Really, it's not the, it's not,

00:27:24 --> 00:27:27

it's not enough for the general fitness, they say I move around

00:27:27 --> 00:27:31

all day. But that's not enough. There has to be some exertion as

00:27:31 --> 00:27:34

well. And there has to be some fitness classes and I'm sure they

00:27:34 --> 00:27:37

always appreciated. So if you're good at that, and that's something

00:27:37 --> 00:27:41

that you can assist with then then, you know, try to organize

00:27:41 --> 00:27:44

that somewhere. Don't give up this you're gonna get treated that way

00:27:44 --> 00:27:48

should we do it? The Masjid the community center, the the UN

00:27:48 --> 00:27:51

organization we say no, you can't do it here for whatever reason,

00:27:51 --> 00:27:54

well find another place. Keep trying to give free Quran lessons

00:27:54 --> 00:27:58

to children or does like tutoring Quran in the weekend. Sometimes

00:27:58 --> 00:28:01

the mother says not enough, the teacher has maybe 1520 students

00:28:01 --> 00:28:03

and there's just not enough there's some children who need

00:28:03 --> 00:28:06

more help offer that as a service.

00:28:07 --> 00:28:09

I don't know if anybody does that. It looks like the Quran teaching

00:28:09 --> 00:28:11

has all become like paid job, but you could don't do it for free.

00:28:12 --> 00:28:15

Right? They are people they must be people and then it's not that

00:28:15 --> 00:28:19

does not forget children. There are adults who don't read. They

00:28:19 --> 00:28:22

just haven't had any teaching when they were young. If you don't see

00:28:22 --> 00:28:25

that in your own community, meaning your own ethnic community,

00:28:25 --> 00:28:28

look at another community. I'm telling you, there's a lot of

00:28:28 --> 00:28:31

people out there who are struggling. They've never let read

00:28:31 --> 00:28:33

Quran when they've been they've been growing up and they would

00:28:33 --> 00:28:37

love to do so target that community get an access into the

00:28:37 --> 00:28:39

community by finding an individual say look, you know, this is

00:28:39 --> 00:28:42

something send out the WhatsApp so whatever it is, Allah has taught

00:28:42 --> 00:28:45

you the Quran helped somebody mentor 11 Quran Allah, Allah Maha

00:28:45 --> 00:28:49

Eurocom. The best of you, is highly recommend tilemill Quran

00:28:49 --> 00:28:52

Allah Allah is the One who studied the Quran and who teaches it, this

00:28:52 --> 00:28:53

is maybe your way of teaching it.

00:28:55 --> 00:28:57

If you can get them to read the Quran before they die Subhanallah

00:28:57 --> 00:29:01

what a wonderful thing. If you're good at speaking to people, and

00:29:01 --> 00:29:04

like, you know, you've had some, maybe some experience with young

00:29:04 --> 00:29:09

children become a volunteer for teen crisis. There's a lot of

00:29:09 --> 00:29:11

teens out there who are undergoing crisis, they don't even want to

00:29:11 --> 00:29:14

tell anybody, parents don't even tell anybody. But if we have

00:29:14 --> 00:29:19

proper services in place, and proper people doing this, then

00:29:19 --> 00:29:21

then I'm sure more people be willing to open up because then

00:29:21 --> 00:29:25

people don't know where to go organise a summer reading program

00:29:25 --> 00:29:26

to encourage children to read.

00:29:27 --> 00:29:32

Write babysit children during a religious program. There's a lot

00:29:32 --> 00:29:36

of need for that. I tell you that. Because, for example, I mean, the

00:29:36 --> 00:29:40

biggest problem is that when women there's a women's program, or a

00:29:40 --> 00:29:44

program that women can attend, one of the biggest stumbling blocks

00:29:44 --> 00:29:47

for them the obstacles is generally where do they leave

00:29:47 --> 00:29:49

their children? They take their children, they're gonna cause a

00:29:49 --> 00:29:53

disturbance to others, right, this is their fear. Right? And you can

00:29:53 --> 00:29:57

generally hear your child louder than anybody else. So you I mean,

00:29:57 --> 00:29:59

there are some people are very insensitive, but most people will

00:29:59 --> 00:29:59

hear that

00:30:00 --> 00:30:03

Children. Right? So where do you leave them? So go and volunteer at

00:30:03 --> 00:30:06

a program? Do you guys have babysitting facilities? No. Okay,

00:30:06 --> 00:30:09

I'm willing to volunteer for that. babysitting. This is very

00:30:09 --> 00:30:12

expensive. So that's why a lot of programs don't even think about

00:30:12 --> 00:30:15

it. And mashallah, I think we've started here, and may Allah bless

00:30:15 --> 00:30:19

those who are helping us in this regard, because this really helps.

00:30:19 --> 00:30:22

I mean, women need time for that to themselves where somebody is

00:30:22 --> 00:30:25

looking after the children, they can go and benefit. Why should it

00:30:25 --> 00:30:28

be that it's only the men who are attending programs, and then you

00:30:28 --> 00:30:30

keep complaining about their wives. And then they keep

00:30:30 --> 00:30:35

complaining about women? Right, let's help them. But if the men

00:30:35 --> 00:30:38

don't help you, you help yourself, you're not going to tell a long

00:30:38 --> 00:30:41

day of judgment a minute and help us, they didn't organize it, go

00:30:41 --> 00:30:44

and volunteer for it, you can do it the powers in your hand.

00:30:45 --> 00:30:47

There's a lot of people who love to do these kinds of things, who a

00:30:48 --> 00:30:51

lot of organizations that would love to offer these things, but

00:30:52 --> 00:30:55

they don't know where to look, they're not fully committed. If

00:30:55 --> 00:30:59

you find some, if you go and volunteer Subhanallah Can you

00:30:59 --> 00:31:03

imagine all the reward you're gonna get for those parents who

00:31:03 --> 00:31:07

learn and who be improve, will become reformed to do something

00:31:07 --> 00:31:11

different, you're gonna get reward of their of, you're gonna get a

00:31:11 --> 00:31:14

reward for a share of their reward. So it's not a waste of

00:31:14 --> 00:31:15

time that you're doing.

00:31:18 --> 00:31:21

organise a reading hour for children at a local school library

00:31:21 --> 00:31:22

or masjid,

00:31:23 --> 00:31:26

you know, for the younger children so that they get some association

00:31:26 --> 00:31:29

with the masjid or whatever the case is. And again, this can be

00:31:29 --> 00:31:34

part of a program. I remember, I was invited to this program in the

00:31:34 --> 00:31:38

east of London. Further east. It was from the Nigerian community.

00:31:38 --> 00:31:43

And I really liked what they had organized. So that while we were

00:31:43 --> 00:31:46

doing the program, in a while I was speaking to the men and the

00:31:46 --> 00:31:50

women, they had, I think they had the youth somewhere. And they had

00:31:50 --> 00:31:55

the children in another program. So they'd actually invited

00:31:55 --> 00:31:58

somebody to talk to the children and tell them stories, or whatever

00:31:58 --> 00:32:00

it was, the youth had another program, and it was all the

00:32:00 --> 00:32:04

parents that we were speaking to. So I thought that was very well

00:32:04 --> 00:32:07

organized. We just don't have that concept of our programs.

00:32:08 --> 00:32:12

For men, for women, and we forget the children, I mean, I would

00:32:12 --> 00:32:16

allow it to like that we we give really, really hot foods, hot

00:32:16 --> 00:32:18

biryani that the adults love and the children don't enjoy it.

00:32:19 --> 00:32:21

Right? We just don't think about our children, these programs,

00:32:21 --> 00:32:22

unfortunately.

00:32:23 --> 00:32:27

And we do think about that we feed them pizza, junk food. So we got

00:32:27 --> 00:32:29

no clever ideas in that. And that's really sad.

00:32:30 --> 00:32:33

volunteer to help with an Islamic school or other religious program.

00:32:34 --> 00:32:38

Right, any of your local organizations. You can volunteer

00:32:38 --> 00:32:40

to help there. We've got nurseries, we've got community

00:32:40 --> 00:32:43

centers, we've got housing associations, we've got

00:32:43 --> 00:32:47

educational facilities, we've got academies, we've got, Institute's

00:32:47 --> 00:32:50

we've got so many different things. And all of these places

00:32:50 --> 00:32:53

need volunteers. I guarantee you all of these places need

00:32:53 --> 00:32:56

volunteers. You know, whether that's to fix something, whether

00:32:56 --> 00:33:01

that's to clean something, whether that's to sweep something, there's

00:33:01 --> 00:33:04

a thing for everyone, I'm telling you that you'd be surprised. Think

00:33:04 --> 00:33:07

what you can do and go and say, Look, this is what I'm willing to

00:33:07 --> 00:33:08

do. Do you need some service here?

00:33:10 --> 00:33:13

Right, I'm just going to quickly go through these because I want

00:33:13 --> 00:33:18

time to hear from you. Helping senior citizens visit and read to

00:33:18 --> 00:33:21

residents and nursing home, deliver groceries and meals to

00:33:21 --> 00:33:22

elderly neighbors.

00:33:24 --> 00:33:27

Or at least help them on ordering online these days. Right? That's

00:33:27 --> 00:33:30

easy. You don't even have to go for them. What do you need order

00:33:30 --> 00:33:32

online for them? Maybe they just don't know how to do it online

00:33:32 --> 00:33:35

through Morrison's or whatever, right? teach computer skills to

00:33:35 --> 00:33:38

the elderly. If they're always coming to can you fill in this

00:33:38 --> 00:33:42

form for me? Can you do this for me? Well teach them or get some

00:33:42 --> 00:33:44

older people and teach them I'm sure you guys there's a lot of you

00:33:44 --> 00:33:45

are computer savvy.

00:33:46 --> 00:33:48

Drive seniors to doctor appointments,

00:33:49 --> 00:33:53

get them to doctor appointment hospital appointments. More an

00:33:53 --> 00:33:56

elderly neighbor's lawn if they've got a nice lawn to clean their

00:33:56 --> 00:34:00

house or whatever. Right? Help and gather this and distribute qurbani

00:34:00 --> 00:34:03

meat to the needy and old and elderly and shelters. Pick up

00:34:03 --> 00:34:06

medicine for an elderly neighbor. Because that's sometimes an issue.

00:34:07 --> 00:34:09

Go to the doctor pick up that's a big hassle sometimes to go and get

00:34:09 --> 00:34:13

your prescription help elderly neighbors clean their homes and

00:34:13 --> 00:34:17

organize their belongings. Right? When it's snowing or something

00:34:17 --> 00:34:21

gone help them you know, clear clear out the garden or whatever

00:34:21 --> 00:34:24

it may or whatever it is. deliver food for them sometimes if they

00:34:24 --> 00:34:26

need I mean you don't have to do this everyday, once a month you

00:34:26 --> 00:34:30

give food to somebody that will be appreciate they're not gonna say

00:34:30 --> 00:34:33

why don't you give it to me every day. If they're never getting like

00:34:33 --> 00:34:37

a good food and if you give them good food that would be useful.

00:34:40 --> 00:34:42

I mean, it could be something like you're going to growing flowers in

00:34:42 --> 00:34:46

your backyard. Then make bouquets and give them to patients give

00:34:46 --> 00:34:48

them to get get give them to people are going to be happy about

00:34:48 --> 00:34:49

them.

00:34:50 --> 00:34:54

Helping the hungry and homeless. Donate your old clothes, collect

00:34:54 --> 00:34:57

other people's old clothes from your family and go and donate them

00:34:57 --> 00:34:59

somewhere. Volunteer at soup kitchen

00:35:00 --> 00:35:03

I donate non perishable food to a food bank, we waste a lot of food

00:35:03 --> 00:35:07

by the way, right? Our Communities unfortunately waste a lot of

00:35:07 --> 00:35:11

foods. So find some way that we can bring that together donate

00:35:11 --> 00:35:14

blankets to a homeless shelter, host the Ramadan and eat dinner

00:35:15 --> 00:35:18

for people who may not be able to cook for themselves and have that

00:35:18 --> 00:35:22

same kind of enjoyment offered to babysitter nanny for a family in

00:35:22 --> 00:35:23

need.

00:35:24 --> 00:35:27

Right? prepare home cooked meal for the residents of nearby

00:35:27 --> 00:35:31

homeless shelter, babysit children while their parents look for jobs

00:35:31 --> 00:35:34

because they've just starting off maybe or they're going through

00:35:34 --> 00:35:36

jobs and they're having the it's tough for them.

00:35:39 --> 00:35:42

Bake a batch of cookies or loaf of bread or whatever and delivered to

00:35:42 --> 00:35:45

a local soup kitchen. Or maybe do it for a masjid program or

00:35:45 --> 00:35:50

something or whatever it is. Right? One as the kid is getting

00:35:50 --> 00:35:52

happy here, right? Do it do it for this program, Mashallah.

00:35:54 --> 00:35:57

Then there could be other things like reducing crime and promoting

00:35:57 --> 00:35:59

safety in your community, that's something we're very behind. And

00:35:59 --> 00:36:02

unfortunately, we just don't have that system. Whereas we know of

00:36:02 --> 00:36:06

other communities that have that system in place. Organize a self

00:36:06 --> 00:36:09

defense workshop. So if you're into your martial arts, because I

00:36:09 --> 00:36:13

know we have sisters who are mashallah quite advanced, right in

00:36:13 --> 00:36:17

terms of the, you know, some various martial arts, organize a

00:36:17 --> 00:36:21

drug free campaign, starter, or join a neighborhood watch program,

00:36:21 --> 00:36:24

create a distributor list of hotlines for people who might need

00:36:24 --> 00:36:30

help, like just resources. And then, you know, email and WhatsApp

00:36:30 --> 00:36:33

them out to everybody become with a CPR certified

00:36:34 --> 00:36:37

first idea, become because you need some people like that

00:36:37 --> 00:36:40

locally. I mean, if nothing else, plant flowers at your local Masjid

00:36:40 --> 00:36:42

on Mother's Day, if they would appreciate it.

00:36:44 --> 00:36:46

I don't know if anybody's ever thought of that. But that's a

00:36:46 --> 00:36:49

great idea. Makes makes people feel good. And planting is a

00:36:49 --> 00:36:53

massive therapy. Gardening they say is like a wonderful therapy.

00:36:54 --> 00:36:56

It really helps. In fact,

00:36:57 --> 00:36:59

they come out with some amazing there's what they call it a

00:36:59 --> 00:37:04

Christine therapy right now, which is for ADHD kids. They're

00:37:04 --> 00:37:08

benefiting from being with animals. So for ADHD kids, they

00:37:08 --> 00:37:12

really help when they go and work with horses, start riding horses

00:37:12 --> 00:37:15

start and caring for them. I mean, this is all natural stuff. I mean,

00:37:15 --> 00:37:18

it's the computers which are messing us up. It's the games.

00:37:19 --> 00:37:21

That's what's messing us up. It's messing up parents and messing

00:37:21 --> 00:37:24

everybody up. We're completely losing our connection with our

00:37:24 --> 00:37:29

nature without saved the animals with other people as well. So

00:37:29 --> 00:37:31

there's so many other things. And again, this is not an exhaustive

00:37:31 --> 00:37:35

list. Yeah, there's another another suggestion that we missed,

00:37:35 --> 00:37:40

which was we've got a lot of mashallah reverts. And sometimes

00:37:40 --> 00:37:44

they actually go through some very great difficulties, part of their

00:37:44 --> 00:37:48

test Subhanallah to just get them closer to Allah. But it puts a

00:37:48 --> 00:37:54

massive strain on the Eman and we need to help reverts. And I think

00:37:54 --> 00:37:57

the best way to do that is the Prophetic way. And the prophetic

00:37:57 --> 00:37:58

way is more our hearts.

00:37:59 --> 00:38:02

Right? Because I remember there's in India, there's mashallah one

00:38:02 --> 00:38:07

Sheikh who's done a lot of work in converting Hindus. And I said,

00:38:07 --> 00:38:10

look, the problem we have here is that I get converted, but then

00:38:10 --> 00:38:11

there's nobody look after him. He says, you need to do more our

00:38:11 --> 00:38:15

hearts, which is create the Brotherhood or sisterhood in this

00:38:15 --> 00:38:20

case, right sisters. So the idea is that there used to be a few

00:38:20 --> 00:38:24

families that kind of adopt this sister in a sense to help her out.

00:38:25 --> 00:38:28

Right, not in a way that they you know, that she's vulnerable or

00:38:28 --> 00:38:30

whatever in that sense, but you know, you know, in a very

00:38:30 --> 00:38:33

respectable in a respectable manner that they can help them

00:38:33 --> 00:38:38

out. And because we need to strengthen, we need to have

00:38:38 --> 00:38:41

strength in that regard. That's very important. Otherwise a lot of

00:38:41 --> 00:38:43

people lose I mean, there's people could lose their faith in this

00:38:43 --> 00:38:47

regard, and it's our fault because we didn't help. So we ask Allah

00:38:47 --> 00:38:50

for assistance, just like a large hadron particle Lovick

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