Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Happiness through Positive Thinking
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the concept of hasn't" and how it can lead to negative emotions, including depression and anxiety. They explain the concept of "hasn't" and how it can lead to negative emotions, including sh matter and sh matter. The speaker advises against sh matter and encourages people to be a believer. They also discuss the importance of maintaining good opinions about one's own actions and positive and negative views of others, as it can lead to problems and negative emotions.
AI: Transcript ©
Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi wa Salatu was Salam
o Allah so you will mousseline while early he also be a Baraka
was seldom at the Sleeman.
girthier on Eli o Medina, another ad.
What is important in life is to manage a person's thoughts about
others,
the way we think about others, the way we approach others in our
mind, and the opinions that we formulate,
in our minds, about the world around us, about God about Allah
subhana, WA, tada
and about everybody that we deal with, whether that be our family,
whether that be our neighbors, colleagues,
and everybody else that will govern our own happiness in our
life.
That's why it's a sin in Islam, to have bad opinion. What that means
is to have sort of one. So one is mentioned in,
in our texts, to have the worst of it is actually to have a bad
opinion about Allah subhanaw taala.
Even to have bad opinion about others, other believers, other
people, that is also extremely blameworthy as well.
And it will really, really impact and influence and effect the way
our entire lifestyle is, our approach to life is our happiness
in our life. And a person will be really bad off if a person has too
much sort of one and bad opinion.
That's why to have a bad opinion about Allah subhanaw taala, or of
another believer, for example, due to just mere delusion, what they
call one minute delusion, or even doubt, it's considered to be
forbidden and unlawful. What that means is, there are three stages
of thoughts. In Islam, there are three stages of suspicion, you can
say, one is less than 50%. The other one is when something is
5050. In your mind, you know, both sides are equal. And the other one
is when it's some, the assurance you have is more than 50%, but not
complete conviction.
If something is less than 50%, in Arabic, that's called one.
Right? It's called one, you could translate that as delusion, just
an inkling feeling about something.
Then when it becomes 5050, in Arabic, that's called shuck,
that's called doubt.
The first one, you can also say it's minus suspicion, whereas
shock is a 5050. And when it becomes assurances over 50%, then
that is what we call an Arabic oven, generally a vanilla high
lip, which means like a dominant preponderant opinion. So if
something is just based on less than 50% or 50%, and because of
that, you're holding a bad opinion about Allah subhanaw taala or
about some somebody else, then that is considered to be
impermissible.
It's actually very, very detrimental. Allah subhanaw taala
says in the Quran,
Old Believers shun much of your conjecture and surmise. A keep
away from it. abandon it, for surmise is often sinful, in the
Battle of one neath.
It's also narrated from Abu Huraira the Allahu anhu, that the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Beware of suspicion.
Because suspicion, suspicions are certainly the most lying of words,
acceptable, acceptable Hadith, it's certainly the worst, the most
lying of words because you don't know the truth and our minds can
play trick on tricks on us.
Numerous studies on the mind show how people can build up ideas in
their mind behind which there's no reality but these people think
that there's a reality and the more a person will have an evil
thoughts about people, the more prone they will be to have evil
thoughts about people, because they're so used to looking at
negative aspects, characteristics, indications, and then formulating
an opinion and jumping to conclusions from that it becomes a
habit to do that. If a person becomes good at doing that,
though, it's not something you want to master.
This is where the problem is.
The hadith I quoted is in Sahih Muslim so it's the same
generation.
Now
thinking bad about Allah subhanaw taala having a bad opinion sort of
done about Allah subhanaw taala
the
This is for example, when a person may think that Allah subhanaw
taala doesn't give me enough provision. Allah doesn't like me.
He deprives me He gives somebody else more than he gives me or
Allah is not going to protect me.
Or Allah is not going to grant me victory or success or anything
else like that.
That's why one of the scholars Abdulaziz al Madhavi. He says that
having a good opinion means to complete, what does it mean to
have a good opinion about anybody and especially about Allah
subhanaw taala, especially about Allah subhana wa Tada.
He says that it means to completely divest oneself of any
anxiety about the future.
Meaning you're not care, you just remove any kind of concern that
something harmful is going to come to you and you rely on Allah
subhanaw taala with great opinion and good opinion.
Because anxiety is lethal.
Anxiety is extremely dangerous. Nothing could happen in the
future. But if you're anxious about something, it will lead to
it. I know people I know people who something is indicated as
wrong as going wrong. And they will fall into a depression that
will last for three years, an event that will take place, and it
sorts itself out afterwards. But then this person can't catch up
afterwards. There's so sensitive.
They don't have the trust in Allah subhanaw taala, they just think
it's all against them, they're always looking at other people who
have a bit more success and, and keep feeling that there's more
success, they've got more success, I don't have enough success, it's
always me. And they feel vulnerable, they feel victimized.
And this is what creates a massive weakness within them that they
constantly. If that's not a problem, then what is the problem.
So anxiety is lethal.
And anxiety you have to remember, by its very definition is about
something that is to do with other than the present time, you can't
be actually anxious about the present time, because you're
already in it. You already know whether you're dealing with it or
not, you either know you've been successful, or a failure.
So anxiousness and anxiety is going to be something about to
come up something in the future, whether that be near future, or
distant future.
So that is what you're worried about. A person who can get
control of their anxieties, who can overcome them,
who can deal with fears and suspicions? Who doesn't fall for
them, who doesn't become prey to them? They are, they generally do
much better in this world, even from a worldly perspective.
And shaitan has no effect on them afterwards. And thus he can't make
them anxious. And then essentially making them ignore Allah subhanaw
taala and his worship.
So he says that this Abdulazeez a matter where he says that whenever
you lend an ear to anxiety whenever you listen to carefully
to it, you alone shall perish. Because it is your own world that
you're living in. Essentially, it's your own universe that you've
created for yourself. It's all in your mind, it doesn't exist
outside. So only you will perish and only you will be ruined by
that.
The same applies he says to lending an ear to shaytaan or your
ego it is of the same category because they're all there to
dilute
having bad opinion then holding bad opinion about other believers
as opposed to Allah subhanaw taala then this refers to all believers,
whether that be men or women, young or old, whether that be a
layperson, a scholar
doesn't matter. Imam Ghazali or Huhtala Ali the way he explains
this, he says that
he considers having a bad opinion about people constantly harboring
bad opinions about people he considers that to be Lee bit of
the heart backbiting of the heart.
What he advises is the following he says that, whenever a bad
thoughts now, this you can say is how we deal with this. Whenever a
bad thought comes and occurs to your mind, about any other
believer for example, remember these thoughts will come about the
way we live in this world. What people tell us what we may see
what we may observe.
We may see indications we may have some clues or contextual
situations which may indicate towards something. So these
suspicions will come about circumstances like that will
confront us.
The question is that when that happens
We can't stop them from happening, unless you want to just stay in
your house. But nowadays, it's very difficult. When that happens,
the numerous increase in your concern for this person, so our
response to it should be I'm concerned about this brother not
that it makes me happy and satisfied that I've got one over
them, or their weaknesses become manifest and clear to me. But no,
I've got concern for this person.
And then I make a dua to Allah subhanho wa taala, that may Allah
reform him, may Allah make him better May Allah protect him from
this, if this is the case, so we're not even believing it yet
because it's only an indication, suspicion. What we're saying
instead is, May Allah help us in this May Allah help him in this,
May Allah help her in this case.
When a person see you, when you make a dua for somebody, this will
anger the shaytaan.
The whole reason shaytaan is helping to create the suspicion is
to break you apart, is to create evil in the world is to make
somebody anxious is to make somebody suspicious of another is
to create enmity, it's to create hazard and jealousy. It's to
create arrogance, all of these things will come about from the
suspicion when you're making dua for somebody, you're showing your
sincerity, this is a dino Naseeha.
The religion, our entire deen is full of this goodwill towards
others. So when a person makes dua for that person, that may Allah
reformed that person, if it's true, may Allah protect that
person, then this will anger shaytan and ward the shaytaan off,
he will stop casting bad opinions in us, he will stop casting bad
opinions of people in our mind out of fear that you will make dua for
that person, and you will be concerned positively, positively
concern for that person.
Now, what happens if it's not just suspicion, but if you actually
come across clear evidence that a Muslim has committed a sin or is
involved in something that is not very good. So you might have heard
early says that if you do come across some kind of clear
evidence, then okay, fine, then you go and counsel him in private,
you take a bold step, and you go and counsel the person in private.
And you do this so that it will like if you're a person who has to
say something, then go and counsel the person with all wisdom,
gentleness, looked
in a gracious kind of way, in a graceful kind of way. Right. So
that it will stop you from speaking, ill of him
in public,
it will stop you. I mean, when you go to speak to the person, many
things will be clarified as well.
And it will help you to manage this evil thought you have of
somebody,
when you counsel him,
when you counsel this person,
you should do it.
You shouldn't you shouldn't do it, rather, Imam Ghazali says, while
feeding a gladness in your heart that you have now become privy and
knowledgeable about aware about your brother or sisters fault.
So you mustn't think that this is some point of you have some extra
points here.
Because otherwise, it will cause you to look down upon that person.
And you will feel pride over that person due to your counsel that I
am in a position of counseling them.
Rather, your motive among has it says should be
to free him from sin.
While feeling sad that unfortunately, the person is
involved in like, genuinely sad. Do it in the same way. Feel sad
for that person the same way as if you if you had been involved in
that same problem? How sad Would you feel for yourself
because it's so easy that we could have fallen to the same thing.
Sometimes just a matter of time,
especially for people who gloat over others.
So when you have that kind of thought process about this person,
then it becomes much easier to manage our negative thoughts. We
don't allow it to go into a negative side of things. Any
thought that comes into our mind we can take it positively or
negatively. And when a person is used to taking negatively
everything that they see thinking that it's ammunition that they
have against somebody, or it's their source of protection and
defense. Then this is where things get very dirty.
He says rather let your only motive be to free him from sin.
All the while feeling sad, just as if you were just as if you would
be where your own deficiency
Indeed, not having to counsel, that person should be more beloved
to you in your mind that I wish I didn't have to do this, that
should be more beloved to you than having to do so.
So you mustn't feel excited and successful and accomplished, that
I have to counsel this person. So I've got one over that person. But
rather feel that I wish I didn't have to do this. That's the
approach you go with.
If you do prove successful in this, that you managed to, you
manage your emotions and you go and deal with this in a proper
way, then you will have attained the reward of Council of Nicaea,
along with that of sadness over their mistake, and that of helping
somebody in their religion, you've got huge amount of good deeds that
will come about, whereas the opposite, if you thought of it
negatively, you may say something to somebody about it. It may
create harm, disharmony between people, it will create arrogance,
it will create hazard there's just so many bad and evil
characteristics that could come of it rather than doing it the other
way. Now, they sometimes are people of public disobedience, who
openly do wrong deeds, and they seem to be quite brazen and brash
about it.
So how do you obviously clear that those people are clearly doing
wrong? They're appearing in front, online, they're appearing on TV,
they're appearing somewhere.
And it's very clear.
Now, in that case, obviously, you hate the act, you have to dislike
the act, because that's what it means to be a believer, a believer
has to dislike wrong acts.
For the sake of Allah subhanaw taala. So you're not doing it for
selfish reasons. You hate it, because Allah wants you to dislike
wrong acts.
But this has no relation to bad opinion that is blameworthy. So
you know, you won't be blameworthy for having this bad opinion about
this act that this person is doing.
So we're not going into we're not discussing that particular topic
of how to deal with that right now where we're dealing with
suspicions and conjecture, and surmise that is not based on any
kind of clear evidence.
So the bad opinion which is considered to be haram and
unlawful and forbidden, is that which is a baseless accusation in
the heart. That is what's considered unlawful I just want us
to be very clear about this.
Which is probably the majority of thoughts that come into our mind.
Example The man was earlier after law, he says that
it is unlawful, just like bad speech, these baseless suspicions,
just like saying something bad thinking something, but is also
bad. Now what he's saying lately, he is going to clarify something
here, because there are many stages of this that appear in the
heart, some people go from one stage to the next very fast,
because they're very good at it. They're very habituated to it. He
says, what I'm referring to is only to the determination in the
heart, and the firm judgment of wrongdoing with respect to
another, when you make a firm decision, that yes, what I've
heard is true. And he must be like that, she must be doing those
things. As opposed to, as I said, we can't free ourselves of just
thoughts hitting us, those come about because it's, we're just
social creatures, and we learn and see things. And it's just don't
let our minds become such that they quickly turn, you know, one
on one into five. Some people are just like that they turn one on
one into five, and they just jumped to conclusions.
So when you just a thought hits you, or you see something, but you
don't make any decision about it, then that's not have that's not
forbidden, because you can't help that that's beyond our ability.
It's when you ponder over it, reflect over it, mull over it, and
then make a determination in the heart and the result comes about
and you make a decision about something. That's why he says
that, as for me your thoughts and internal dialogue, that one is
generally pardoned of them until you make a negative judgment for
no reason. In fact, one is pardon for doubt, as well. What is
forbidden then, he says, is to actually formulate an opinion, and
an opinion is that upon which oneself relies, and towards one
towards which one's heart inclines. The reason this is
deemed unlawful, he says is that no one knows the secrets of the
hearts except the Knower of the unseen.
So you don't know because there's no evidence. So you have no right
to hold a bad opinion about it another unless something is made
plainly clear and manifest for you to behold and it cannot be
interpreted in any other way.
There is no other way to look at this situation.
Now you have to remember that we have to be very suspicious of
ourselves because some people who are very negative and suspicious
people, they generally interpret things in the most negative way,
they just don't see the possibility of positive
interpretation, even when a possible positive interpretation
is brought up for them. They dismiss it. They say, No, that's
impossible. So for them, they've just got such a barrier in their
mind that they can, they got such a tunnel vision, that they can
only see things negatively, very bad place to be very bad basically
had to deal with people like this. It's just very bad place to be
that everybody else is seeing it otherwise, but they just seeing it
in a negative way. And they are being consumed by the hatred.
For indeed, that which you neither witness nor hear directly, yet
simply occurs to your heart is has to be cost thereby the shaytaan
it has to be costly Vita shaytaan, whom you must reject, for he is
certainly shaytani is the most fraudulent, of corrupt Falk. So
how can you how can you go with that? Just remember, any bad
thoughts come into mind think it's from the shaytaan.
The opposite of it, is maintaining good opinion of Allah. Just before
that, let me say, let me tell you what, if not a thought, Allah says
he says that there's nothing that leads you like delusion, there's
nothing that leads you that pulls you and drags you like delusion,
it will take you to places where you yourself don't want to be
ignored the nozzle
says that your best moments are when you are safe from the passing
notions of your mind. When you Don't ponder over them and and
determine evil from them. You let them pass and when others are safe
from your bad opinions about them. So you are most safe, when you
don't indulge in the bad thoughts that come into your mind. And
others are safe from bad opinions
from your bad opinions of them. That's the best state. You don't
hold any bad opinions about people and you don't allow bad opinions
to effect you. That's one of the best states. Such are ones best
moments.
Since not having a bad opinion of others. It reflects a person's
being fully concerned with their own vices and faults, leaving
hardly any time to notice the faults of others. Do we even have
time for other people Subhanallah we've got so much to worry about
day in and day out. If we introspect, we will find that we
have so many problems, we have so many deficiencies we got so much
to work on, we got so much to master, we got so much to perfect,
we got so much to beautify, we have to still reach the level of
our son, hopefully before we die at least. And if we've got, if
that's been our focus, then we got no time for other people, we may
hear things gonna say Oh, I got no time for that, like, let somebody
else deal with that I got no time for that.
If a person does happen to notice the faults of others, he should
see it as a reflect reflection of his own
shortcoming.
The based on the Hadith that a mirror is sorry, the believer is
the mirror of his fellow believer, one of the interpretations of that
is that if you see something wrong in your brother, it means that it
is you're wrong. The reason you're noticing, because you know about
these bad things. And that's why you notice that while other people
are not going to notice that.
And that's why certain
unfavorable characteristics are only noticed in people, by people
who have those characteristics, because they have those
characters, they can see it so clearly and others whereas others
cannot.
Indeed, when a booth Rob
and Noxubee.
Whenever Whenever he would see a fault in one of his companions,
this is his response. And I'm not saying that we must all do this,
but this is just shows how
people who wanted to achieve accomplishment and become the
perfect human. These are the things that they would do. And
these kinds of exertions are necessary to free ourselves of
these problems.
He would increase his spiritual exertion, renew his repentance and
his Stober. And he would say to himself, it's due to my own in in
a democracy were they pushed into doing what they did? It's because
of my own incompleteness that they've been pushed into doing
what they did since Allah says He is looking at this from a quantum
theory quantum perspective is saying that
in hola hola you Roma via tone in Hatha Yoga Euro maybe unfussy him.
Allah will not change the condition of a people at large a
until they change the conditions of their own selves. So if I am
wrong, and if I have shortcomings, I am contributing to the communal
problem. Because that is how much Allah is keeping away his mercy
from Us. If I become better, you become better, everybody becomes
better, then there is going to be more mercy and more attention from
Allah and Allah will then have the excuse to change us. But when he
sees negligence on all of our part, and we're just blaming one
another for it, then it's a problem. Just look at the
narrative where he's coming from, which is a very positive
narrative.
And his numerous iterations about this, others that support this
idea.
Allah subhanaw taala, he told the angels to go and destroy a
community and he says that there's a person in there as the Aisha the
Allahu anha, said, but there must have been some good people in
there, said yes, but Allah says that that person who was good
among them, supposedly seen as good and a worshiper, he never
prohibited anybody. He never his face never changed for my sake,
out of disgust for what was going on.
So even if we think we're righteous and pious, but we can't
do anything, and
and if we're not pious and righteous to even start with and
we're holding bad opinions about others, then maybe we're
contributing to the problem in general.
Because if we become better, there's that there's going to be
two or three people that will be influenced and affected positively
by us.
I hammered as a rook said that vile opinions they stem only from
vile hearts.
Disgusting opinions generally come from disgusting hearts, not from
the Divine nor from fellow man. It's going to come from your own
heart to take the fleeting notion, an idea that comes into your mind
and turn it into something bigger and disgusting. That has to come
from a bad heart.
Your mind has already said, from Satan's machinations,
is having a bad opinion of others. It's from his ploys, that people
have bad opinions about others because he's succeeded in that.
That's why in the back of the Kniffen surmise, is often sinful.
Whoever formulates opinion, an opinion about someone based on
mere assumption
will be driven by the devil to then speak ill of that person, and
then eventually they will be ruined themselves, or they will be
fought, they will fall short in fulfilling the person's rights, or
they may look down upon the person. And that means they will
do tactic and they will humiliate and degrade somebody with an eye
of disdain. And they will see themselves as superior. And all of
these are spiritual calamities within the person.
So the opposite of this,
to finish is to maintain good opinion about Allah subhana wa
Tada and about one's fellow believers. Of course, the first
one which is to have good opinion about Allah is mandatory, it's
failed. Because that our whole Iman relies on this. Without that
our mind is not complete. And that could lead to
that is why it's actually important and necessary for a
person to be constantly making dua and Toba, about these things. The
person who obviously who's involved in a lot of sin, and
that person, it's unlawful for that person to discard the fear of
Allah and just have good opinion about Allah because he's gonna
have a deluded good opinion. In a sense, oh, ALLAH is forgiving,
ALLAH forgive, I don't have to do anything. I can continue doing
wrongs, but Allah is very merciful. That's a deluded good
opinion. That's not the kind of good opinion we're speaking about
here.
Because that is essentially being deluded with respect to Allah. So
now, as I said, having a good opinion about Allah subhanaw
taala, is mandatory.
It's narrated in a hadith that Allah subhanaw taala states, I am
as my devoted servant thinks of me, and our endo Vanya of dB. I am
as my slave, my slave is somebody who's going to be a slave to me,
who really thinks of me as my as his master, the way he thinks of
me, that's how I'm going to react to him if he thinks I can get him
out of his trouble out of his miseries.
Help him,
assist him, grant him success, grant him fella and success in the
Hereafter, and he becomes a champion of this world and the
Hereafter, then that is what he will be given. The second one
which is to maintain good opinion about about other believers, then
that is recommended. Obviously, with regard to doubtful matters
that would entail either righteousness or corruption.
Especially when it's a person who's generally upright shaytaan
wants to deal
Do about this person,
a person is generally a pride, why should you want to
corrupt them? Why should you want to have a corrupt idea about them?
This is what causes much of the problems in our community,
especially when you get rumors that fly around, and they just
become bigger. There's so many cases that I have seen where, when
I first heard it as a rumor from somebody in detail. It just seemed
extremely offensive and bad and disgusting.
When we actually went and found out and did some investigation
about it, because maybe I was involved in that situation brought
her into a be involved in a situation, you found out that it
wasn't as bad as it was it was made out to be. But there were
maybe a few people who had a bit of a jealousy, who had a bit of
resentment, who had some rivalry for some reason, they just created
a bigger issue out of it. So a lot of the time, it's not what meets
the eye. But again, I think most of this, as I mentioned earlier,
it's going to be based on how we look at things, how we generally
react to things. Do we really generally inclined towards taking
things in a negative way? Are we generally inclined towards taking
things in a positive way, you do get some people who are overly
positive where they even the evil stares them in the face, and
they're still positive about it. I'd rather be that person to be
honest, then be a person who's generally taking things
negatively. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us this discernment
and this understanding, may Allah subhanho wa taala, cleanse our
heart and purify our hearts so that we actually look at things in
a positive manner, rather than in a negative manner. Because it can
make somebody anxious, it can make somebody suspicion and it just
racks up our sins, and it finally leads to ruination. And then what
we see out of punishment for that is that there'll be others who
will say the same thing about us.
Generally, positivity is contagious, as is negativity. So
we need to spread positivity, rather than negativity. And that
way, you know, somebody who brings you a story of suspicion, if you
give them a positive outlook, they will learn to be positive, maybe
they've never learned to look at things differently. Maybe they
never thought about this, because we learn from others. And
sometimes we don't know how to look at things in a different
light unless somebody opens up that window for us. So
essentially, when we are looking at things positively, it's like
I'm in closed in a house. And there's only one window that looks
out into the fire. Right, it looks out into the dirt, I need to open
a few other windows because there's a lot more out there than
just that one side view of the one side, open up more windows, the
way you cannot open up more windows is learn that from others
who are positive.
And when we know something to be more positive, we will reveal that
to others. And that will teach them and open up their windows to
positivity. Otherwise, all of the positive windows will be shut.
They'll only be negative windows. May Allah subhanaw taala grant us
the Tofik we have a short life to live and the less misery misery
and anxiety that fills that part. The more positivity there is the
more profitable our life will be while he read that one Anil hamdu
Lillahi Rabbil Alameen