Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Hadith Series Don’t Get Angry, Don’t Get Angry

Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera
AI: Summary ©
The importance of anger in life is discussed, with emphasis on the need for individuals to express it in the right places and the four types of it, including desire, desire is a "front door" for success, desire is a "back door" for success, and "front door" for success. The speakers stress the importance of controlling anger and avoiding harmful behavior, particularly in relationships. The use of "angry" is also emphasized, and the importance of body posture and learning to manage one's anger is emphasized. The segment also discusses various remedy methods for addressing anger, including learning to train oneself, listening to others, and using body posture to reduce feelings of anxiety.
AI: Transcript ©
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Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim Al Hamdulillah. Hamden, Kathy on the

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uban Mubarak and fee Mubarak and Allah He can now your Hebrew buena

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wildoe jelajah, who I'm unaware of, or salatu salam ala. So you

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didn't have even Mustafa SallAllahu Taala either you either

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early he was Safi or Baraka was seldom at the Sleeman.

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Kofi Annan laomi been buried. The first Hadith Hadith number 16

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is related by Imam Bahati. So I'll relate this hadith through my

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chain up to Imam Bukhari Rahim Allah and Abu Hurayrah, the Allahu

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Anhu acknowledged and called an interview sallallahu alayhi wa

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sallam, el cine got a lot of

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letters. For them Iran called Allah Tada.

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So essentially, what's happening here is that Abu Huraira, the

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Allahu Anhu is transmitting this hadith to us saying that the

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Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, a person said to him, give

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me some counsel, counsel me give me some advice. So the Prophet

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sallallahu alayhi wa sallam out of everything that he could have

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said, there are so many things you could say when somebody said, give

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me some advice. Now imagine it, I want you to put yourself into a

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particular scenario, somebody tells you give me some advice.

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What do you think you'd say? Among the 1000s of things, you could

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say? What would you say? And why would you say it? Right? What

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would you? What would you? What would be the decisive factors or

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the deciding factors for you to say something?

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So when somebody asks me this question, like, give me some

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advice, I generally ask them, Can you tell me what you want advice

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about? Because I want to be as relevant as possible.

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That would be one way, if I know the person and they know something

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about them,

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where they could improve, then maybe I'll give them advice based

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on so if it's somebody I've know some students, a friend, a

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colleague, somebody that attends classes, and they say, Please give

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me some advice. And I've seen something about them. I'm thinking

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that maybe there's something that is needed, that could be

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discussed, and I will probably mention something very relevant.

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So based on this as well, I'm just trying to put myself into the

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prophets, Allah loosens place, somebody asks him a question, a

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general question, give me some advice. And he said, Don't get

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angry. That was not a standard rice he gave everywhere. You don't

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see this being said that every time hundreds of times he's been

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asked for advice, and he says, Don't get angry, right or control

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your anger in other words, so there must be some background to

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why he asked this question. Sorry, why he answered it in this way.

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This particular narration is obviously transmitted from Imam

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Bahati. In this way, Imam Muslim doesn't need to narrate this

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particular Hadith. Generally, you've got behind Muslim that

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transmit a lot of similar narrations. However, this hadith

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is also related by Imam Muhammad, Imam, Malik, Imam Telemedia and

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many others. In fact, in the measurement of Zoa it there's

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another

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in other than 10 Maybe there's another version of this call to ya

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rasool Allah.

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The person said, I said, O Messenger of Allah sallallahu

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alayhi wa sallam Dulany Allah, Amylin, util Jana. Tell me about a

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deed that is going to enter me into paradise. So the Prophet

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sallallahu sallam said, No. And then he said, So tell me about a

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deed that's going to get me into paradise while I took theater Alia

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don't give me too much. Like don't make it too long. Give me a very

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pertinent, concise, particular advice. So the progress also said,

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Okay, let alpha dub Don't get angry. So that's another version

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of this iteration, which gives us a bit more information of how the

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question was asked. See, in Hadith as you probably learnt already, if

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you've been attending these classes, that you can never just

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take one Hadith and run with that.

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To really understand the backdrop to something, it's always a good

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idea to go and research all the Hadith on that same topic. So you

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have numerous narrations on the same topic. Sometimes you can have

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up to 20 narrations that gives you various different bits of

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information, because a certain Narrator would have focused on one

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aspect, and that's what he has transmitted. When you look at it

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from another narrator's perspective, he gives another bit

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of information. And that's how you get a better picture. So that's

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what we are trying to do here.

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So now the significance of keeping a significance of speaking about

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Don't get angry. Right, which is such a essential human trait.

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Nobody can be without anger, anger is a human trait that is actually

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required. So when the Prophet sallallahu sallam said Don't get

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angry, his idea is that you need to control your anger. Don't

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express your anger, especially in the wrong places. But we also know

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that there are places where anger must be expressed. That's the

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place to express anger the Prophet sallallahu ala

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Sanlam himself express anger. So clearly you have to look at this.

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The Brock's awesome is not giving a universal statement that you

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must never get angry. But generally when people do get angry

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for the wrong reason, well you must not get angry. Right? Because

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that's really where anger is.

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Anger is chaotic. Anger is corruptive, and so on and so

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forth.

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So,

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in our, in our narration, if you look at it, he says followed the

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mirror. And that's not in the other narration that I quoted. But

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in here, it's followed the the neuron, which basically means the

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man repeated this request several times. So the first time he said,

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give me some advice versus said, Don't get angry. So he said, Give

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me some more advice. He said, Don't get angry. He did this

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several times. That means if he's asking for very pertinent concise

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advice, and he asks it a few times, and each time the person

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said, Don't get angry, you can now see the importance of controlling

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anger.

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That is, and the reason for this is that it's no surprise, to be

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honest, I mean, if we take it in our own lives, from a practical

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perspective, anger is probably one of the most destructive factors.

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That's why in Arabic, hola, hola, Boo Juma or shadow.

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That's a statement that a lot of anger is the fount is the

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collection, the vessel of all evil. And the opposite to that is

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abstinence from it to be able to control anger is Juma ol hive

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is basically the fount and the source of all goodness.

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Anger is such an issue.

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within human beings, there are three faculties, three feelings

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that essentially make up their character, our character is,

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is basically a compound of these three faculties and one of them is

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anger. The other one is desire. And the third one is knowledge and

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understanding and how far we take that. So this is talking about one

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of the most essential faculties of a human being. So we need a bit of

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anger, anger is a faculty within us that basically gets us to go

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and do something.

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Right. So if if somebody doesn't have any anger at all, or hardly

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is able to bring it up, then they won't fulfill the rights, they

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will be getting abused, their religion will be abused, their

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family will be abused, and they'll just sit back and laugh and like,

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yeah, it's okay, you can do that you can walk all over me.

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So you need you need the faculty of anger. But then the problem

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with anger is that if you don't keep it in moderation, it goes

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beyond into the effort level, as they say, in Arabic, in excessive

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level, then that's what creates arrogance. It creates anger, it

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creates tyranny, violence, murder,

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in swearing at people, insulting people, it just goes on and on.

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There are so many, that's why I said it's the fount of all evil,

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because when you get angry, you're going to do all sorts of backbite

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people lash out at people strike people, not give them their

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rights, withhold their right, because I'm angry, I don't want to

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give him what to do to him. Right, you can just see how it's gonna

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manifest

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might be a good idea for us to take a little bit of a personality

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check on ourselves, there are four types of anger, you've probably

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heard of it four types of sorry, not four types of anger, but four

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types of people. So in Arabic, in Arabic, the way they represent

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that is that study or study or Zool, body will have the body

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observer, and then a mixture of the two. So you will have the body

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as well, and but you will not have steady reservoir. So what that

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basically means is

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somebody who angers very quickly,

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but then somebody who comes down very quickly, that's the first

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category, right? So you will study reservoir.

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Second category, and this is not in any kind of order. It's just

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random order. But these are the four rational possibilities.

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Second, one bottle of water bottles, our somebody who gets

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angry, very late, like he can take a lot before he actually gets

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angry. But then once they do get angry, then it takes a very, very,

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very, very long time to calm down. Right?

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Then the third and fourth are basically a combination of the

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two. So somebody who gets angry very quickly, and somebody who

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can't, but who comes down very slowly, somebody angers very

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quickly and frequently and comes down very, very, very slowly. And

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then the opposite of that is somebody who angers hardly ever

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angers seldom gets angry. And if he does get angry also comes down

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very quickly. So now tell me, which is the best of these

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categories.

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The fourth one maybe.

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Would everybody agree there? Anybody difference of opinion

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Now, which is the worst one?

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So mostly people are electing for number three, you're saying number

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three as well. Okay? Nobody says anything else. Can you imagine it?

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The guy who gets angry so quickly? And then when he gets angry, takes

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a very long, long time to calm down, is this person ever not

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going to be angry? Right? Because the little things are going to get

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them angry, and then they're just not going to calm down, something

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else is going to get them angry. So there's going to be anger over

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anger. So now, do we know what category we're in? I mean, I used

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to be I mean, I'll tell you, I used to be

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cynical about the body oil is not the best category. Anger is very

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fast, but comes down very fast. So was that the second category?

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That was the first one. I used to get angry quickly, but I don't I

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don't stay angry for too long. So Hamdulillah. But I don't get that

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angry anymore. After marriage, I've learned to control myself.

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Right, thanks to my wife. But I don't get that angry anymore. So I

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used to be sitting over there. But here's why now I'm kind of in

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between.

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I don't get angry as much. So do you guys know what you are? You

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don't have to tell me I'm just saying just just want to see

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realisation on your face.

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Because I mean, if we're reading this hadith, and if we know where

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we are, where we need to get to where we were, and we've gotten

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somewhere Hamdulillah. That's practical implementation in sha

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Allah.

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Okay, so let's just move on, because we don't have too much

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time, to be honest. And

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who is this person by the way that this incident took place with? So

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firstly, when you look at Hadith, and whenever there's a obscure

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personality that's not mentioned, it's generally because there's a

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bit of negativity. So the Sahaba or the narrator has conceal their

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name, because the problem is the point is not to

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focus on someone but rather the message. However, many of them are

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had the theme they will generally go into detail about who the

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person may be, right because they know maybe from other generations

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so here, some of them are handy thing like if knowledgeable

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humbly, saying that most likely this was a Buddha this could have

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been a Buddha or the Allah one. Right one of the famous Sahaba

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reason is that we've got a nother narration from top Irani Imam

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Tiburon. He has related it from Abu Dhabi, Allah He said, Ya

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rasool Allah, tell me about an action that will enter me into

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paradise.

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Give me an advice about something that's going to enter me into

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Paradise and the prophets of Allah or some said la Dadaab. What a

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cool Jana Don't get angry, and for you is paradise. So basically

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saying control your anger, and you will you've got paradise. So

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Allahu Allah, Allah knows best.

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Some say that it was God or ignore Kodama. But most Hadith just say

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it's a Roger, it's just a man. It's just some man. And that's

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probably the best is to leave it like that. Because the message is

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what's important for us.

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There's another Hadith in which somebody asked the messenger of

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allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for advice, and he said, lots of

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them. And then the person said that said,

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for Karatu, he then says that after the Prophet saw some gave me

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that advice, I contemplated it.

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When the Prophet saw some said that, and then I realized that

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anger does incorporate every evil that is out there nearly. So I can

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see why it's such pertinent advice. Now you know that the

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prophets of the Lord Islam is known, especially in these 14 in

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this in this 40 collection for his concise, direct, very eloquent

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advices. In a few words, he means so many things. So the fact that

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he said love, talk with the wishes, don't get angry, actually

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means so much more than just don't get angry. Don't get angry, in

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other words, means that you need to, because the person who gets

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angry can't have good character. It's an too much anger, not being

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able to control your anger is the antithesis of being a person with

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good conduct. One of the biggest reasons that marriages break down

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is because of excessive anger.

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Right? It's just ego ego comes into with anger. There's just so

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many things it relates to ego Remember, it's one of the three

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most important faculties by which a human character is determined.

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So the more the person is in control, the better the character

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so the 47 said Don't get angry, meaning improve your character. So

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that's a bigger message that we're seeing here. That's what you have

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to read when you're reading between the lines. That's why

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Jaffa no Muhammad said alojado miftah who could Leisha anger is

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the key to every evil. It will Mubarak Rahim Allah was US

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He met Alana Houston and hook fika Leamington

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define for us.

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Good character in a single word in a single expression defined for

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us, and he said

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Torquil hardab.

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Abandoning anger, that's basically in one in one sentence abandoning

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anger. So now

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some of the Prevention's for anger, okay, we've learned now

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anger is bad. And I'm sure nobody's going to disagree with

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that. That's something we've all been, you know, people struggle

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with it. Either too much anger, too little anger, not moderate

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enough controlling of anger as Allah subhanaw taala says, well,

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the mean alive in the Quran, those who control the anger, right. So

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now how do we what are the Prevention's from anger? So let's

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look at it from a few different ways. I'm going to tell you

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several Hadith in which the Prophet salallahu Salam gave some

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solutions, gave some remedies. But before that, let's look at the

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psychology of this.

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In America, and maybe in England, in England as well, when a police

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be, especially in America, where they have guns where the police

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carry guns as well.

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I remember once I was driving about it was Ramadan time, and I

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was going to come back to England the day after it was taraweeh, I

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finished my telawi. And then I'd gone out somewhere. And I was

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coming back late, it was brought to two o'clock in the night. And I

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was I was coming back and I was speeding. So police, Flash me from

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behind, I stopped. Now in England, when when the police stop you to

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get out of the car, you don't. You're supposed to get out of the

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car, they want you to get out of the car, they asked you to come

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out of the car. Right? I haven't been stopped too much in England.

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So but as far as I know, that's what I had in mind. So what I did

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was, when he in America, you're not supposed to get out of your

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car, because that's dangerous. That basically means that you're

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showing aggression. So I'm dressed like this, in, in this is in

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Midwest, this is not even in California, in New York, where

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they're exposed to this stuff. There's very few Muslims in that

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area, two o'clock in the middle of the night, I stopped the car and I

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get out. And I think the guy was sensible, he must have realized

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this guy, some foreign or some weirdo, whatever. He said, get

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back in the car. So I got in the car. Now what they do is they

00:17:18 --> 00:17:21

don't come and stand in front of you. Alright, so in America,

00:17:21 --> 00:17:23

you're driving and you're sitting on the left hand side, they won't

00:17:23 --> 00:17:27

stand in front of you and confront you. They stand behind you outside

00:17:27 --> 00:17:31

the car, and they talk to you. So I'm sitting here, and he's

00:17:31 --> 00:17:33

standing there. So in England, he'd be standing here, for

00:17:33 --> 00:17:37

example, why do they do that? So there's a lot of studies of why

00:17:37 --> 00:17:39

they do that. The reason is that if they're in front of you, that's

00:17:39 --> 00:17:45

a very confrontational posture. So by by standing behind the putting

00:17:45 --> 00:17:48

what we can call whitespace, in between, right, so imagine a

00:17:48 --> 00:17:52

concept of whitespace. That is very important.

00:17:53 --> 00:17:56

If you know you're going to be confronting something that

00:17:56 --> 00:18:00

generally aggravates you put some put a buffer zone in between put

00:18:00 --> 00:18:04

some whitespace. And if you understand this concept of

00:18:04 --> 00:18:07

whitespace, you can actually see the profit or loss from apparently

00:18:07 --> 00:18:10

applying this idea. So for example,

00:18:11 --> 00:18:14

look, look at these narrations, right?

00:18:15 --> 00:18:17

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,

00:18:18 --> 00:18:21

in the CIO, he actually

00:18:23 --> 00:18:26

there was a man who was arguing with another, and he was red in

00:18:26 --> 00:18:30

the face. And he started insulting the other swearing cursing at the

00:18:30 --> 00:18:33

other person. So the problem is a lot of some just remarked on the

00:18:33 --> 00:18:38

site. He just made a remark on a site because sometimes going to a

00:18:38 --> 00:18:42

person who's angry is very difficult. So he just made a

00:18:42 --> 00:18:45

remark on the site. He said in the Latin Mo, Kennametal, nokhada,

00:18:45 --> 00:18:52

Khalifa and Houma Yejin, I know of a formula. If he says it, he will

00:18:52 --> 00:18:57

be able to control what he is experiencing, meaning that will go

00:18:57 --> 00:19:02

away the anger will go away. So if he said I will do bIllahi min ash

00:19:02 --> 00:19:03

shaytaan the regime.

00:19:05 --> 00:19:10

If he says I seek refuge in Allah from Shaytaan, accursed so he

00:19:10 --> 00:19:13

obviously didn't seem to take notice. He didn't appear to take

00:19:13 --> 00:19:17

notice. So the people who are sitting around standing around,

00:19:17 --> 00:19:19

they asked him, didn't you hear what the Prophet sallallahu alayhi

00:19:19 --> 00:19:25

wasallam said, so. So he turns around typical, he said in the

00:19:25 --> 00:19:29

list to be Majnoon, yes. I mean, I'm not I'm not crazy. You can

00:19:29 --> 00:19:32

imagine he was very angry that he even made that kind of statement

00:19:32 --> 00:19:34

then. So in this one, the prophets, Allah Islam is actually

00:19:34 --> 00:19:38

telling us that read our wounds will be lost. That's actually a

00:19:38 --> 00:19:42

spiritual response. That it's because of shaitan that you're

00:19:42 --> 00:19:45

getting the anger sheet. Essentially, we there's many

00:19:45 --> 00:19:49

things that will anger us. But once we get onto the anger

00:19:49 --> 00:19:52

bandwagon, the shaytaan rides this wagon and just takes it further.

00:19:52 --> 00:19:57

That's the problem. So then we end up doing things that we regret, so

00:19:57 --> 00:19:59

they could be a cause for anger in the beginning, if you're not

00:19:59 --> 00:19:59

controlling

00:20:00 --> 00:20:02

But then it's shaytaan, who takes advantage of that situation? So

00:20:02 --> 00:20:05

read that older Biller, how does one read out the real life?

00:20:05 --> 00:20:09

They're angry? You're gonna have to train ourselves to do that. How

00:20:09 --> 00:20:11

would you train yourself to do that? Because in that heated

00:20:11 --> 00:20:11

moment,

00:20:13 --> 00:20:15

how are you going to remember that unless somebody tells you that all

00:20:15 --> 00:20:18

the time you put a reminder somewhere that every time I get

00:20:18 --> 00:20:22

angry, remind me to do Altavilla so I think what it is that I found

00:20:22 --> 00:20:25

useful personally, is that every time it's happened, and we regret

00:20:25 --> 00:20:29

it, then think next time inshallah I'm gonna say it and eventually,

00:20:29 --> 00:20:33

Inshallah, we'll be able to say, I will be loved when you get angry

00:20:33 --> 00:20:38

or control yourself. Right? So we every time it's gone beyond then

00:20:38 --> 00:20:41

we actually think about it. So the next time we actually think about

00:20:41 --> 00:20:44

it earlier, it's just about hopefully training ourselves to do

00:20:44 --> 00:20:44

so.

00:20:46 --> 00:20:49

That's the first remedy. The second remedy that the professor

00:20:49 --> 00:20:51

also wants suggested, is

00:20:53 --> 00:20:57

he said, Allah in the hot lava Jamara twin fecal dibny Adam,

00:20:58 --> 00:21:02

anger is an ember a cinder and Ember in the hearts of the human

00:21:03 --> 00:21:07

from Allah, Amara ETOM, Elijah Marathi ie when defiantly Oh

00:21:07 --> 00:21:10

dodgy, don't you see the redness of his eyes? Like, you know, don't

00:21:10 --> 00:21:14

you see his eyes pumping like that and his veins that they're

00:21:14 --> 00:21:19

bloated, right? And he said Furman has some indica, shaitan. Failure,

00:21:19 --> 00:21:21

Phil yells, duck bill aren't.

00:21:23 --> 00:21:25

This is another remedy. He says anybody who feels that? So he's

00:21:25 --> 00:21:29

talking about heat now? He says anybody who feels like that he

00:21:29 --> 00:21:33

should Earth himself. That's not what he said he should he should

00:21:33 --> 00:21:39

basically put himself onto the ground. And we would I mean, in

00:21:39 --> 00:21:43

other terms, he could call that earthing oneself so that the

00:21:43 --> 00:21:46

electricity dissipates. I mean, you need an earth wire. Right? I

00:21:46 --> 00:21:49

know, I'm maybe reading too much electronics in here now. But you

00:21:49 --> 00:21:53

know what I'm talking about. The reason is that there's several

00:21:53 --> 00:21:57

reasons for this the earth is very is has humility, right? That's why

00:21:57 --> 00:22:01

shaytaan use that idea against other Malays you're created from

00:22:01 --> 00:22:07

the earth, which is a lowly, inferior, inferior item. So if we

00:22:07 --> 00:22:12

get onto the earth, it just basically calms us down. Right. So

00:22:12 --> 00:22:16

get onto the ground, basically, I think, again, it's putting white

00:22:16 --> 00:22:19

space because there's another narration which says that when you

00:22:19 --> 00:22:22

get angry and you're standing up, then sit down. If that doesn't

00:22:22 --> 00:22:24

take care of it, then lie down.

00:22:25 --> 00:22:30

In fact, on one occasion that with Zahra the Allahu anhu, he got into

00:22:30 --> 00:22:33

an argument with somebody and then suddenly, in the middle of that he

00:22:33 --> 00:22:36

laid down onto the ground, he was in a field, and it was soil. It

00:22:36 --> 00:22:40

was it was wet. I said, What are you doing? He said, I'm doing what

00:22:40 --> 00:22:43

the prophets I got angry. So I'm getting I'm earthing myself onto

00:22:43 --> 00:22:46

the ground. But again, it's not just earthing, it's putting weight

00:22:46 --> 00:22:48

space. The reason is,

00:22:50 --> 00:22:51

that if I'm standing up

00:22:53 --> 00:22:56

with somebody, and they get me angry, I'm more likely to do

00:22:56 --> 00:22:59

something when I'm standing up, because the posture is an

00:22:59 --> 00:23:03

aggressive, aggressive posture. If I'm sitting down, I'm more

00:23:03 --> 00:23:06

debilitated. Because when you're sitting down is you've got more

00:23:06 --> 00:23:10

restrictive movement. And if you're lying down, then you're

00:23:10 --> 00:23:13

just not you're supposed to be resting. So like, you know, you're

00:23:13 --> 00:23:15

gonna have to jump up for something. So it just puts more

00:23:15 --> 00:23:19

white space. In fact, what studies show is that if you want to

00:23:19 --> 00:23:23

criticize somebody, don't ever criticize somebody standing up.

00:23:23 --> 00:23:26

Like, for example, you got an employee at work or somebody else

00:23:26 --> 00:23:30

and you want to tell them something, or you use a guy in the

00:23:30 --> 00:23:34

masjid and you want to, you know, so don't just see him outside and

00:23:34 --> 00:23:36

say, you know, I want to speak to you, and then you start

00:23:36 --> 00:23:39

criticizing them, they'll take, they're in a very confrontational

00:23:39 --> 00:23:43

body posture. body posture has an impact on our feelings and

00:23:43 --> 00:23:48

emotions. There's no doubt about that. So they're more they're less

00:23:48 --> 00:23:52

likely to be more accepting. What you should rather do is take them

00:23:52 --> 00:23:57

home for some chai, right for some tea, relax them down. If you can

00:23:57 --> 00:24:00

lay them down. You got the nice cushions like we have inside

00:24:00 --> 00:24:04

themselves. You got nice cushions, right? You lay them down, you

00:24:04 --> 00:24:08

relax them, and then you criticize them. Maybe that's why shrinks do

00:24:08 --> 00:24:10

this. Maybe that's why psychologists make you lay down or

00:24:10 --> 00:24:14

something. Right, well love or Ireland. But I mean Subhan Allah

00:24:14 --> 00:24:17

the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is giving us all of these advices

00:24:18 --> 00:24:18

and then

00:24:20 --> 00:24:20

so

00:24:21 --> 00:24:23

another thing is the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said

00:24:23 --> 00:24:26

in a transmission of Imam Muhammad,

00:24:27 --> 00:24:31

from Abner Abbas, either Madiba Dukkha Folly is good. When one of

00:24:31 --> 00:24:35

you gets angry, he should remain silent. said that three times.

00:24:37 --> 00:24:40

You should use that sparingly because for some people, if you

00:24:40 --> 00:24:44

stay quiet, they get more angry. They want an argument. Like if you

00:24:44 --> 00:24:47

stay quiet, they're gonna get even more angry. But at least they'll

00:24:47 --> 00:24:50

stop you from getting angry. You might just have to be more

00:24:50 --> 00:24:55

patient. There's a husband and wife and basically the husband. He

00:24:55 --> 00:24:58

just becomes silent. And the wife is telling me I get much more

00:24:58 --> 00:25:00

angry because

00:25:00 --> 00:25:03

He stays silent. She that he she just wants to argument over and

00:25:03 --> 00:25:06

done with, because at least when somebody says something, you know

00:25:06 --> 00:25:08

what they're thinking and when somebody is silent,

00:25:09 --> 00:25:13

it just makes it a greater enigma. And then you get even more angry

00:25:13 --> 00:25:18

Subhanallah anyway, so you can we can use these various different

00:25:18 --> 00:25:22

things. Write in different situations, the virtues of

00:25:22 --> 00:25:26

controlling anger, especially when you think you're right. That's the

00:25:26 --> 00:25:28

difficult one. You know, if you're very,

00:25:30 --> 00:25:35

if you get irritated by discrepancies, if you get

00:25:35 --> 00:25:40

irritated by unfairness, some people just have a natural trait

00:25:40 --> 00:25:44

that they can't take unfairness, and you get angry, maybe even for

00:25:44 --> 00:25:48

the right reason. Just because you get angry for the right reason,

00:25:48 --> 00:25:53

doesn't mean that you have the right to get angry. And you may

00:25:53 --> 00:25:55

have the right to get angry, but it's what the anger will make you

00:25:55 --> 00:25:56

do, which is a problem.

00:25:58 --> 00:26:00

So you can get angry. And

00:26:02 --> 00:26:04

you see, as I said, In the beginning, the four categories,

00:26:04 --> 00:26:08

right? Similarly, you can look at people with any other problem as

00:26:08 --> 00:26:13

well. Who is I mean, you don't have to answer me. But how many of

00:26:13 --> 00:26:18

us are naturally more miserly than they are more generous, like they

00:26:18 --> 00:26:20

are more miserly than their brother or sister is.

00:26:21 --> 00:26:25

Allah creates us in different ways, you will see that two of

00:26:25 --> 00:26:28

your children one will be more than the other, more generous than

00:26:28 --> 00:26:31

the other. You got two Auntie's one is more generous than the

00:26:31 --> 00:26:34

other. That's a natural trait, we're not going to be punished for

00:26:34 --> 00:26:37

a natural trait. But we will be punished if you exercise that

00:26:37 --> 00:26:41

natural trait, and you do something wrong with it. So if

00:26:41 --> 00:26:44

somebody's miserly, and that might be leads them to withhold zakat,

00:26:44 --> 00:26:48

or sadaqa. Or spending when it's commonly decent to spend.

00:26:49 --> 00:26:52

That's going to be problematic. So likewise, if you've got anger, we

00:26:52 --> 00:26:55

need to learn to control it. You're not going to be we're not

00:26:55 --> 00:26:59

sinful for having anger. That's a natural trait. Some of us get more

00:26:59 --> 00:27:02

angry. We didn't ask for that. Right? I see it come from my

00:27:02 --> 00:27:05

father, Well, where did it come from in your father, right? You

00:27:05 --> 00:27:09

see what I'm saying? But we will be punished for expressing it in

00:27:09 --> 00:27:12

the wrong way. So it's controlling it which is necessary. That's

00:27:12 --> 00:27:15

what's important to understand. And we need virtues to be able to

00:27:15 --> 00:27:19

control our anger. One of the most effective things I found is that,

00:27:19 --> 00:27:22

you know, sometimes there's certain people that we generally

00:27:22 --> 00:27:25

get irritated by who make us angry, like every time I go to

00:27:25 --> 00:27:29

speak to this person, and whether that's our father or mother or son

00:27:29 --> 00:27:33

or brother, or business partner or neighbor, it just some people just

00:27:33 --> 00:27:37

take us off. Now, you know every time I go to speak to this person,

00:27:37 --> 00:27:40

I'm gonna get angry. He's gonna she's gonna make me angry. He's

00:27:40 --> 00:27:41

gonna make me angry. What do you do them?

00:27:43 --> 00:27:45

And you have sometimes it's family, so you have to speak to

00:27:45 --> 00:27:48

them. You can't just shun them. So then there's a wonderful dua

00:27:49 --> 00:27:52

Allahumma inni or obika and please repeat after me so at least we'll

00:27:52 --> 00:27:54

read it once Allahumma inni

00:27:56 --> 00:27:57

rubrica

00:27:58 --> 00:28:01

Meenal Muna Shikakai

00:28:02 --> 00:28:05

when NIFA it was so ill a flock

00:28:07 --> 00:28:11

mashallah that works wonders. Oh, Allah is secure refuge from

00:28:11 --> 00:28:16

disputation, quarreling and argumentation Shinnecock. The fog

00:28:16 --> 00:28:17

is hypocrisy

00:28:18 --> 00:28:20

and suella bad character.

00:28:22 --> 00:28:25

You read that and then you go and because you've read it, you've

00:28:25 --> 00:28:28

already put some whitespace you've already in control insha Allah.

00:28:28 --> 00:28:31

But there's a numerous the prophets Allah some said Leisha

00:28:31 --> 00:28:36

Lisa should either be surah I mean, the the powerful, the

00:28:36 --> 00:28:41

powerful person is not the one who basically just throws the other

00:28:41 --> 00:28:44

person to the ground wrestle the other person to the ground, the

00:28:44 --> 00:28:48

powerful one, the strong one is the one who's able to control

00:28:48 --> 00:28:52

themselves when they're angry, because that is even greater,

00:28:52 --> 00:28:56

greater power than be able to just put somebody it's self control.

00:28:57 --> 00:29:02

Because releasing oneself where it's not due can get us into a lot

00:29:02 --> 00:29:06

of trouble. And then it says that whoever another Hadith says that

00:29:06 --> 00:29:12

whoever controls the anger were when they were actually able to

00:29:12 --> 00:29:16

release their anger. Right. One is that you can't say anything

00:29:16 --> 00:29:20

because it's some superior you're in a situation where you're in a

00:29:20 --> 00:29:23

disadvantage because you can't resign and you're just all getting

00:29:23 --> 00:29:27

angry inside. No, you are able to actually administrate your anger

00:29:27 --> 00:29:32

and to express it, but you still controlled it. Then Allah subhanaw

00:29:32 --> 00:29:37

taala will invite this person call him out positively over the heads

00:29:37 --> 00:29:42

of everybody on the day of judgment as a sign of goodness. So

00:29:42 --> 00:29:44

there's a huge reward in that

00:29:45 --> 00:29:45

and

00:29:48 --> 00:29:52

give him choices for whatever benefit he wants. And his numerous

00:29:52 --> 00:29:56

other durations as well. We mustn't miss the other side of the

00:29:56 --> 00:29:59

story, which is that in some cases to be angry is actually rewarding.

00:30:00 --> 00:30:02

When will it be rewarding to be angry?

00:30:04 --> 00:30:07

Because we're always talking so negatively about anger. And now

00:30:07 --> 00:30:10

suddenly, you know, we're talking about being rewarded for being

00:30:10 --> 00:30:12

angry or which what kind of anger is that?

00:30:15 --> 00:30:18

Yes, when it's against injustice, because remember, we're told to

00:30:18 --> 00:30:23

dislike injustice. And we're told to even try something against

00:30:23 --> 00:30:28

injustice. So to get angry if Muslims, you know, are being or

00:30:28 --> 00:30:31

people are being treated unfairly, whether that be Muslims or

00:30:31 --> 00:30:35

otherwise, I mean, in general anyway, right. So those are the

00:30:35 --> 00:30:36

places where

00:30:37 --> 00:30:39

anger is necessary.

00:30:42 --> 00:30:44

There's been cases where the province also was seen so angry,

00:30:44 --> 00:30:47

it says in the Shemitah, which you've probably read that

00:30:48 --> 00:30:53

it was as if some seeds from the pomegranates were burst on his

00:30:53 --> 00:30:56

cheek, that's how angry he goes. But what's wonderful about the

00:30:56 --> 00:31:00

proposal awesome is that he only got angry for the Sharia. If he

00:31:00 --> 00:31:05

was personally abused, he had this amazing temperament. When he was

00:31:05 --> 00:31:09

personally abused, it just made him more forbearing and Clement,

00:31:09 --> 00:31:12

it's just like, he's so in control that somebody is abusing when he's

00:31:12 --> 00:31:15

like relaxing more, like, Okay, I know you, that's the best way to

00:31:15 --> 00:31:19

deal with you Just Just relax. But when he was for sure, he didn't

00:31:19 --> 00:31:23

know once he came into the house. And he saw in a shot of the Allahu

00:31:23 --> 00:31:26

unhas room. And he actually saw that there was a curtain on there

00:31:27 --> 00:31:31

with a picture of maybe a bird or something like that, he got very,

00:31:31 --> 00:31:36

very angry. And he said that people, the the people who will

00:31:36 --> 00:31:40

get the most severe punishment on the Day of Judgment, people who

00:31:40 --> 00:31:45

basically put up this, this kind of picture up so he did get angry,

00:31:45 --> 00:31:47

because I don't think he didn't get angry at all, he definitely

00:31:47 --> 00:31:50

got angry. There's a story about these two individuals, one was

00:31:50 --> 00:31:54

very practicing, the other one wasn't very practicing. So one,

00:31:54 --> 00:31:56

that one was very practically used to all his advice. The other one,

00:31:57 --> 00:31:59

on one occasion, he got really angry with him. And he said, You

00:31:59 --> 00:32:00

know what, Allah is never going to forgive you.

00:32:02 --> 00:32:05

His anger, this was his anger that led him to say to the other person

00:32:05 --> 00:32:09

that Allah is never going to forgive you. Allah then got so

00:32:09 --> 00:32:12

angry that he actually punished this practicing person, and he

00:32:12 --> 00:32:16

sent the other one to paradise. That's how detrimental anger can

00:32:16 --> 00:32:21

be sometimes for us. Just one other point. When you get angry in

00:32:21 --> 00:32:23

salt, you curse things.

00:32:24 --> 00:32:29

And subhanAllah you know, when couples or with children, we start

00:32:29 --> 00:32:32

cursing them. That is one of the worst things you can say. Because

00:32:32 --> 00:32:34

when you start cursing somebody, you're like, you're literally like

00:32:34 --> 00:32:35

praying against them.

00:32:36 --> 00:32:39

On one occasion, there was

00:32:40 --> 00:32:41

a woman.

00:32:43 --> 00:32:46

She cursed, her camel in anger.

00:32:47 --> 00:32:49

And they were with the province of a lawless and I'm on a journey. So

00:32:49 --> 00:32:53

you know what he said to her. He said that get off and

00:32:54 --> 00:32:59

let it go. We don't want anybody a curse with us. If you're cursing

00:32:59 --> 00:33:02

your camel, then that means the camel is accursed, it's down. We

00:33:02 --> 00:33:08

don't want any damned animals with us because it brings curse to the

00:33:08 --> 00:33:11

rest of us. So if you're going to curse it, then get rid of it. And

00:33:11 --> 00:33:14

you walk along with us. So if a person is cursing his wife all the

00:33:14 --> 00:33:18

time, she's cursing the husband all the time cursing your children

00:33:18 --> 00:33:21

or your parents all the time. I mean, and these are the very

00:33:21 --> 00:33:25

people you want good with. I mean, that doesn't make any sense

00:33:25 --> 00:33:28

because you're praying against them. A curse is a prayer against

00:33:28 --> 00:33:31

somebody which is brought on by anger. So we ask Allah subhanaw

00:33:31 --> 00:33:33

taala to allow us to

00:33:35 --> 00:33:40

understand if we have this problem and be able to rectify our

00:33:40 --> 00:33:43

imbalance essentially, it's an imbalance. We just need to go into

00:33:43 --> 00:33:48

a fine tuning, right but it takes a long time to either increase in

00:33:48 --> 00:33:51

the right places decrease in the wrong places. And we ask Allah

00:33:51 --> 00:33:52

that he helped us

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