Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Etiquettes of Disagreement
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mumbo
jumbo, who are you going to work for SolidWorks on everything
needed for legal stuff. So the law guy that you are
about to see will get
very
big respect to my brothers respected or not respected
sisters. Yeah.
It is about 330 in the night for me so, if I go off somewhere,
please, please do forgive me.
For you, it's Friday night, Saturday night, the nights young
still, mashallah you guys see all seem to be raring to go
make some dogs and Resharper
handles mostly mostly Mohamed Saad, we've covered
a very important aspect of this, and we were both given the same
topic. And then we decided that he wasn't Shall I cover the aspects
of the differences between sectarian differences between the
various different groups, and that different Muslims adhere to and
have some kind of
inclination towards and so on and so forth. I thought that after he
does that in sha Allah is covered that angle, I will probably
broaden it out and speak about social issues. Because we are
human beings, every one of us is a social animal. And there are a
number of issues that we deal with number of differences of opinion,
I think etiquettes and an approach to that approach to those things
are extremely important. So Now firstly, I think let's put this in
perspective. We live in we live in what's has been considered narrow
because the item the item everything other than Allah
subhanaw taala comes under the title of the item is everything
that indicates towards Allah subhanaw taala towards his
magnificence is money for some says beauty is his creative power.
And his grandeur his, his his greatness and His generosity. And
the one thing that is a characteristic feature of this
alum, if you look around, if you look at the university, they can
look at the world, I mean, just just the fact that I come from a
place where it's three o'clock at night, right 330 At night, and
here, it's not like that, here, it's you know, minus two to minus
eight or whatever it is. And somewhere else in you know, maybe
in California, it's it's different. We listen, tired, dunya
this whole macrocosm, you know, the cosmic system is, the
characteristic feature of it is its pillar
is difference. And that's the beauty of it. Now, the whole thing
about the versatility of this universe, the beauty of it, that
which makes it not so boring, that which makes it everything kind of
unique in its own kind of right, each one of you and are sitting
here is unique in its in their own way. And that's actually the
Command of Allah subhanaw taala. That's the complete perfection of
Allah subhanho wa Taala that he's able to, he's able to create all
these billions of just human beings, every single one of them
different with a unique feature.
And that's what it is. And I think we need to really realize that if
Phillips should not be this idea of this difference, right? This,
we can actually turn it around in a more positive sense and call it
like a positive feature of uniqueness in each individual. I
think we need to realize that that's something that we need to
celebrate. It's not something that we need to make a difference of
opinion. And that is why until,
for example, just to carry on that topic, although I don't want to
speak about that topic. But just when you don't think it's a
difference of opinion, when you don't think when you don't think
it's a problem to have four months, then it's not a problem.
But if you think it is, then it is a problem. And I think it's really
it really has to do with how our hearts work. You know how I mean
how many people have sometimes right how tight hearted they are,
where they don't have much room in their heart for others, where
they're not accommodating enough. And I think that it's really what
it boils down to a lot of us you have some people they've got such
a such a big difference of opinion even between being masculine and
feminine being men and women and that's why they're trying to even
break down those barriers. Sometimes you meet you meet a
Muslim brother when you from Brother He says I'm from the dunya
I'm from the world's sin He refused is one individual I spoke
to he refused to say he was from Kashmir.
Not because he doesn't like Kashmir. But he's got this idea in
his mind that when you when you when you relate yourself and
attribute yourself to a certain area, then that means you know
You're doing something Islamic. That goes completely against the
Quran Allah subhanho wa Taala says that we created you.
Right? Sure all Bill merkaba Elita Allah who sort of Hydra that we
created you in various different tribes, from different
backgrounds, native backgrounds, so that you can recognize each
other. Now, now, you know that if if somebody for example from
a place with it, they don't eat hot food, right? If they come to
your house and you eat hot food in your house, and you give them hot
food, I'm telling you, they're gonna go right in the face.
They're going to be sweating. I mean, you've seen this at least
won't be able to eat and if they have to eat out of embarrassment,
right, you're torturing them. Likewise, if you go to somebody's
house that that doesn't eat off when they give you bland food,
right? What's going to happen is that's one thing we have to
celebrate this that you have to realize, look escape this person
comes from such and such area, this is how they eat that's
catered to
Allah subhanaw taala says Lita out of who you can recognize each
other, you can recognize their customs, you can, you know, you
can cater to some of these things. Because this dunya is is based on
this love, it's based on this difference. It's based on this
versatility. It's amazing actually.
So, Allah subhanho wa Taala says in number of verses Coronas
Mattawa he the father athalon For EcoLog on the beginner machine
enormous Vinnie Allah subhanho wa Taala sent messengers that both
gave warnings, and they also gave glad tidings. And the reason is
that even our safety our even our psychic system works differently,
in a sense that some people are more influenced by warnings from
Allah exhortations. And some people, they they like, they like
more the promises and the glad tidings and that's what spurs them
on. And the prophets did both the messengers of Allah and even
salatu salam, they did, they did both. And Allah subhanho wa Taala
mentions this, that if if he had wanted, he could have created this
entire world, one, the entire Ummah, one in one ideology, but
you know, the wisdom of Allah subhanaw taala didn't mean that to
be wise. So for example, let's just imagine that everybody was
the same, you will need translation. Right? You will need
translation in there will be no tourism's. Because every place
will be the same, just like your America, except a few cities are
replaced with the same. You go in and there's a
there's a Wendy's, and there's a
Dayson. And there's this and there's that, like, when you go in
America, they're like, seriously, when I was there, when you go,
that's going to be different, except the natural places, every
city is just like the same cookie cutter kind of different. I mean,
London's a bit better.
Anyway,
but imagine if that if everything was the same, I mean, what would
be coming up a plant or something like that. It's just not the way
it is. And that's the macrocosm. That's what we are. We're micro
cosmic individuals that live in that.
So we have to realize that people are going to be different. Two
brothers are different creatures, three sons of the same mother and
father difference, but they have to get along. That's what the
issue is. Now, in terms of if we just move on, because we don't
have much time.
There are primarily three different reasons for why people
have differences of opinion, why people are stubborn about their
opinion, why they're not able to accept somebody else's opinion.
And first and foremost, I think it has really to do with incomplete
or shallow knowledge
is just a limited amount of knowledge. I mean, you have the
strangest example and examples under this category. For example,
when some scholars, they all say, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam said that this is a weak Hadith. In this week, Hadith the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, the scholar must have
said it this way, President stood up and he said that the prophets
of Allah Islam cannot say we can leave.
You know, my prophet doesn't say weak Hadith. I mean, he didn't say
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, a weak Hadith,
because the person has no idea about lumen Hadith. And that we
can say the prophets of Allah some said this, but it's a weak Hadith
according to our transmission, somebody has no idea about that
they are going to go to maybe, if that's enough, please excuse me.
I'm a bit camera shy.
So
the person just has no idea. So he's like the whole class to me.
How can you say The Promise of Allah already he said, a weak
Hadith. My Prophet was not weak. Now you can understand that this
person is emotional. You know, we celebrate his emotion, but it's
misplaced. It's wrong. It's ignorant. That's what the problem
is. So I think we need
To really understand this, for example, a foreigner in the days
gone by he went to Arabia for Hajj or Umrah, and he going through
some of the outskirts of Macomb Medina, he heard an Arab singing
and the guy didn't have a very good voice. So he says, Now I
understand why Islam prohibits music.
Seriously, isn't that that's ignorance. I mean, now he's gonna
go back and think, Well, we think a lot better that this should be
celebrated. Right? That was bad music, that's what probably is
unlawful. And that's why that was prohibited. That's all ignorance.
It's all ignorance. And you can take that, I mean, that's an
absolute kind of story that all of us can laugh at. But I'm sure you
know, at one time or the other, we may approach issues in this way,
right, in the same kind of way, where we think we know it all. And
that's what the problem is.
I mean, there's numerous examples. There's numerous examples about
shallow knowledge, I mean, the prophets of Allah Almighty, Allah
subhanaw. Taala says in the Quran.
If you don't know, just ask the people remember, it says Ask the
people of knowledge. And yesterday may well have been allowed among
those people who know are not equal to those who don't know,
those who don't know are not equal to those who know there's a
difference between them. And there's a massive difference. It's
a very important difference. Knowledge is extremely important.
That's why whenever whatever preconceived ideas we have,
especially if you haven't studied the DEA for 1015 years, if you if
you have a question about your deen, or if you have a confusion
about what somebody said, we need to consult, we need to consult,
consult a few different scholars, if you have to, just so that you
can get a rounded understanding of that, then maybe you have an
authority to speak to a certain degree. Otherwise, if it's just
just through, it's just basically to your preconceived ideas of what
you've been brought up with. That's highly problematic, because
the majority of Muslims today have not had a formal Islamic
education,
a formal Islamic advanced education, the most the majority
of our education, the limit that our Islamic education has gone to,
is nowhere close to the kind of secular education the majority of
us have studied. Think about it.
The amount of Islamic education that we have had in a formal
level, right, covering the different disciplines, the area of
study that we conducted in our undergraduate or postgraduate, I'm
sure that our Islamic education is nowhere close to that, for the
majority of us, especially the professionals.
That's why it's very important that we realize this, most of us
have had a basic assimilation of Muslim ideals, like the most part
nine goes on.
And that's about it. That's why when I was talking to one person,
and I think the discussion was about shaker hammer, the new
spoke, he had some tapes on the job. And the answer was module and
this guy was just like, there is no such thing.
I mean, this guy is a grocery shop owners right? Now, no offense to
grocery shop owners, but I'm saying that that's all he's been
doing all his life. You know, it came from India to America. And
he's got a grocery shop now. Right? I don't think he's had any,
any any extended knowledge. And he's, he's rejecting he's
completely, absolutely just outwardly just outrightly
rejecting the existence of the job. And yeah, Jews were Jews.
Whereas it's mentioned in the Quran.
And why? Just because they sound mythical. Anything. There's no
myth in Islam. And then that says the US, you know, that's basically
his logic that his premises put together. And that's the
conclusion he gets, and he thinks it's an absolute cathodic proof.
And that's, that's why we really need to understand that that's
very important. The second one, not to belabor this point too
much. The second one is following Caprice and desire. That's another
reason person may not be ignorant, he may know very well what's right
and what's wrong or what could be right and what could be wrong. But
he fails to pursue that correctness. He fails to confess
to it, he fails to acquiesce to it, he fails to agree to it,
because it's about lowering yourself down because he wants to
be seen as the winner, the person who wins the battle. That's why
Allah subhanaw taala condemned such people by saying I follow him
and it's tough. Ilan Magoo Hawa for item Anita for the ILA,
whoever will adopt love Allah or their Inman will hurt them and as
somebody who you will come up with, possibly the ratio of such
people who know and despite that, they decide to follow their whims
and desires, right, being oblivious to the truth despite the
fact that they have more knowledge than that, when ALLAH SubhanA wa
Tada will make it such that he will veil their their senses,
their sense faculties will be very old, and he will be misguided.
Allah, Allah subhanho wa Taala will misguide him. And this is
really serious because pride and arrogance doesn't work and that's
how shaytan went out of the phones.
That's what makes a fun what he is today, pride and arrogance.
In this category, there's numerous things. I just I don't even know
where to start, you know, this whole thing about mother in law
daughter in law, this is where it comes into.
It comes into this one, the next, the next one, the next one is
about following culture and following your culture and
tradition.
Because that's how I live with my mother in law, you must live like
that as well. Now, let us put this in perspective, Cece, we need to
look at this in a very holistic way, because I don't want to be
one sided about this. Right, we really need to understand this,
you know, back about 50 years ago, or 70 years ago, many of us came
from, especially immigrants, those who come into this country from
India, Pakistan, Egypt, and other places, we've come from very
closed society, sometimes, villages, which people for
centuries had lived in that same area. In fact, in some houses,
in some homes, they literally, there were three generations
living in the same house, because you just didn't have enough to
spread out. In fact, I've seen a house where, from the grandparents
to the to the grandchildren all set in the same big room, and that
was all there was and there was a kitchen, right, and I'm sure some
of you can relate to that. So it was quite simple for you to just
get married to your neighbor, or for you to get married to the
person, you know, maybe at the end of the village or two villages
down, three villages down, but that was about it, you didn't
really go beyond that. Nobody wanted to go beyond that. That's
just the way it was, the children had it, you know, the children are
fine with it, the adults are fine with it. And it just worked as a
system. Now you come to Toronto, or you come, you come somewhere
else. And you know, you come to the west, where you've got people
just converging from all different, different places around
the world, literally. I mean, just right now, if we, if we if we
count the villages that are the villages of the towns and the
cities of the various different countries around the world that we
represent here as just this group tonight, right, I'm sure we can
easily pick up 30 different groups, right, minimum 30
different groups, each with their own different background,
different ideas, different foods, different customs, culture, etc.
So on and so forth. Now you expect to do the same thing I went into,
with my family went into a friend's a family that I've known
for a while, and literally on the wall. And we know that they've got
a 12 year old son, they've got a they've got a 12 year old son, but
they had a they had a girl's picture on the on the wall in the
kitchen that was of a girl that did we'd never seen in the family.
Some of you know, we asked Who is this? They said that this is
actually our son's future wife. She's in Pakistan.
I mean, the poor guy probably doesn't even know maybe they
grooming him for that. But there's this thing that you have to be
married to such and such a person. Nothing else it was quite, it was
a good system back home, it was a good system. Does it work here, it
will for some people, but it won't for others. And if it's not
working in your house, then don't force it, because it's going to
cause great disagreement. Great problem. And that's gonna be in
the family. It's not even with another mother. It's within the
same family, we need to put it in perspective, I think this is where
ignorance comes in adherence of culture blind following of such
as, right, we really need to realize that if you if you want,
if we want our children to get married to a particular person or
a particular family member, we need to be preparing the from
before we need to be speaking to them, we need to get them on that
idea. You can't spring it on them. When they become 19 or 20. When
they've already got their ideas, they probably already got someone
they may even be secretly married.
Or halfway there.
Right? This is this is what's going on. What happens nowadays is
that
many of our young children are already doing stuff out there.
They've already found someone or they already think they have
someone. Right. There's already emotional attachment.
Should I ask how many people have emotional attachments here?
And then, and then suddenly, the father or the mother suddenly
decides to get married now? Right? And we got this really good guy.
He's like, What are you talking about? It just doesn't work.
Sometimes. Sometimes it does. And it works very well. And sometimes
it doesn't really need to realize is it going to work or it's not
going to work? We think it's not going to work. Don't force it. You
can try it. You can encourage it. There's nothing wrong with that.
Right? And I will tell the children as well. I will tell the
young brothers and sisters that try to go with your parents in
terms of your choice in marriage so that everybody is happy. But if
it's not gonna work, if it's not going to work, then the parents
really need to also look at what their children wants, because
that's going to be the new family unit, not the mother
Seriously, I've got a person in London today that I know, he spent
score days with his wife. And he spends three days with his mother.
Meaning he goes and sleeps at the mother's house.
Because she feels that this wife is such a threat
is that such a love that the only way to compromise, you'd either
have to divorce his wife, two kids, you'd either have to divorce
his wife, right, and go back to living with his mother.
And she would tell you get married, get married, so that she
wants to get married, but then she doesn't wanna be married. It's
just this very strange system. This is this very, very horrible
loop that he's in.
So he spends four days with his wife, and three days is his
mother's house.
A one woman said, and you know, this is an educated one, this is
an RV mom. I mean, her thing was that I did not want to get married
to somebody in India, she's from parents from India. She's born in
England, she said, I did not want to get married to somebody,
somebody from India. And the reason why they want to do that is
because I wouldn't be able to respect him.
Why? Because I could speak English properly, and he would not be able
to do so as a wife, I need to be able to honor and dignify my
husband. And if I felt that he was lower than me in that regard,
because I knew the way this this country works,
that I wouldn't be able to respect him.
And she was honest about it.
You know that I think that's a fair point at the end of the day,
because at the end of the day, you know, you can't help those
feelings, you can try your best, but you can't help those feelings.
And I think as parents, we need to start realizing that otherwise,
these external athlete destroy our community, these differences of
opinion destroy our communities. That's why if we want it in a
particular way, we need to prepare for that we need to get our
children on board from before and convince them give them some slack
as well, then it may work out. But if it just suddenly happens all of
a sudden, and then suddenly our children want to do something
else. It's it's just a massive filler.
This case is again,
in Islam the wife is is
the wife is entitled to a separate place of her own what I mean by a
separate place that if the person is a medium
earning and medium standing, the wife is entitled to an apartment,
which means at least a room and a kitchen that's independent from
anyone else. So it's a place where it's self contained, even if the
studio flat, right, that's the minimum that she is actually
entitled to. So she can't be forced to stay in a house with the
parents. If a woman chooses to stay with the with the with the
with the inlaws, she is doing a great service. She's doing good,
very clear. And she's been immensely rewarded. If she's doing
it with sincerity, it's a massive undertaking. When the we it's a
massive undertaking, and is a great source of reward for it.
Some people can do it, some people cannot write, the best way to deal
with this issue is that if you are parents who want something like
that, and that should be your condition in marriage, it
shouldn't be that you tell them all is it all gonna be rosy and
all the rest of it. And then when you bring them, then you force
them to stay together, that's not going to work. That's deception.
If that's your priority, you need to make that clear. And don't
think it doesn't work. It still works. I know people recently who
got married, the woman is not even from, you know, not even from any
kind of religious background, like not even very pious didn't even
cover her hair before for example. Right? If that, you know, that's
one way of looking at. And she was prepared to make it more of the
parents. She came into the house, she's making the kids, one of the
parents, it happens, they're on their own, you know, good people
out there that can do that are willing to do it. But we can't
force everybody to do it. Because it's not a requirement. The
husband and wife have a separate unit. In fact, on the Day of
Judgment, everybody is going to be an individual. In this world, we
still have we still have familial ties, we need to realize that the
children when they get married, they become a separate unit, or
semi autonomous units. And they have to stand on their own feet.
The Hitman has to stay. There's been so many cases where there
were massive problems they fill up in the house. But as soon as they
separated, close by separate, independent place, the love just
grew.
The love just grew because it just keeps each of the two parties want
to make it work. But within the same place, they just can't.
There's just too much going on. They just can't do it.
And one needs to realize that
so the following of personal
comprehend desire. Somebody just told me recently that,
you know, for example, some people just want their own desire. They
want their own desire to be fulfilled, they don't, they're not
considering the other person's desire. That's when these kinds of
feelings happen. That's when these kinds of differences take place.
And then it doesn't work out, and it's misery for everybody.
And this is what the prophets of Allah was forewarned about, he
said that what he will call the V rod even
the amazement of every opinionated person with his opinion.
And that's talking about opinionated people, right with
their opinions, their amazement with it, that it has to be the way
I say it. You have to remember the person was right all the time. He
celebrates phenomenon.
That's the same the plate the person who's right all the time
celebrate along, that person is never going to celebrate with
others he's going to celebrate alone. You're
but the third one is obviously following customer a customer
culture which I've already kind of spoken about what Allah subhanaw
taala is getting he speaks about the in it validity of this. Right?
Why saying that call when the operation is to say that call in
wedges in a
way
that we found our forefathers on this. And that's what we're
following. And it makes it very clear that for example, somebody
like I'm gonna have study Allah one with a to became a Muslim, a
great, great western hero. In fact, afterwards, he said that
when
I went to the Joshi, because he was sent by the people of Moscow,
he was sent by the people of Makkah to, to Negus in Abyssinia
to bring back the people, the Muslims who migrated there because
he was well connected with, with the leadership around the world.
So he said, I spoke to my friend Negus, I spoke to him because I
had some, I had some relationship with him. And Jennifer, the alarm
gave a speech. And he says that, at that moment, Islam, the idea of
Islam crept into my house, but I couldn't let go of my culture yet.
Many, many of them, this is what happens, they just couldn't let
go. Because there was this thing about culture, I mean, our product
Captain until the last moment, he refused, despite the fact that he
supported the progress and Allah who are US citizens. This is the
uncle, you support on the southern laurisilva, he protected him. In
fact, he was put away for three years, along with the promise of
the law, while he was in the whole family was despite the fact that
he didn't become a Muslim.
But he refused. He refused. And this is complete adherence to our
culture.
And we have this today, there's a complete adherence. I mean, we've
got this thing where people have come the first generation where
they've got a lot of culture, right, and I don't blame them
having culture mean, culture is what you came from, you know, we
have a culture, everybody has a culture. But the problem is when
you try to impose that on someone who can't accept it. So for
example, if the culture is that you have to get married to a, you
know, a liar, or a doctor,
you've heard those.
Liar.
liar.
Liar, analogy.
Doctor,
the lie one is better, the big liar.
A lazy, I'm just messing around.
I'm not talking about you, you're a lawyer. We're talking about
live.
So it's just this thing on the porch, I've had so many of these
young students coming to us at university, to give a lecture that
we don't want to get married to, you know, in the culture as such,
we want a Muslim
or a Muslim, but we want a Muslim, a practicing Muslim. We all want
some career oriented person, which is going to be focused on getting
his next suburban,
suburban zero.
Anyway, so
that's something that we need to really again, another thing that's
very important, it's about the culture aspect. And I think, I
think I've spoken quite a bit about that.
But thing is that it's extremely important that we come united as
both as a family, then as a community, as individuals, because
what it says is that unity is very important. If people get united,
they will succeed in their endeavor, even if they're not
Muslim. And we've seen that
if the Muslims are disunited
that despite the fact that they are believers, they will lose and
they have lost.
That's why unity is extremely important. And unity can't happen
on a ground level. on a country level, if it doesn't happen within
our own families and our communities.
We can expect
And we can curse the Muslim leaders and the Muslim countries
not doing enough for Palestine. But seriously, if we were in the
position, if one of us was sitting as was symbolic down there, what
would you do?
What would we do? Seriously, with all that pressure that you got on
you? What would you do?
That's something to think about. That's where I think we really
need to I'm not, I'm not justifying them. But I'm just
saying that it's a reflection of who we are at the end of the day.
Right? How willing are we to stand up for the truth, and to do things
in the proper way according to the Sunnah, in our own small lives,
where there's not much pressure, except a bit of culture, you know,
the big uncle might say something, no, for example, I proposed for
somebody to someone else, they both Gujaratis, right. But one is
from a certain cost. And another one is sort of certain cost. And I
propose to define a really nice boy for your daughter, instead of
I don't mind but the big uncle, my big brother, they're gonna start
talking.
As bad enough, the guy was a nice car, Guy reads wonderful. But
that's not good enough, because the Talking is too much.
Who's to blame the father or the uncles, I don't know, somebody's
to blame. At the end of the day, that's what it is. It's just this
this pressure.
Being is extremely important. Being is extremely important. And,
as I said, the best way is to actually if we go back to the
marriage, or the whole marriage issue is to actually make a mutual
decision, a consultation, each person, give a bit here, and then
nobody be too stubborn. And we try to meet somewhere in the middle,
and everybody is happy. That's the way to do these things. Always
when we approach an issue, let's look at the way to deal with an
issue. If we know that the person is not going to listen, for
example, if somebody is even doing something absolutely wrong, and we
know that you cannot win, listen, for example, you've got a brother
or a sister, you become more pious, suddenly, right, you've
extended your beard, you started wearing a hijab, niqab, whatever
it is, and your brother or sister doesn't do that. If you start to
give them not see her day in and day out and stop condemning them
and everything else, you're going to put up a wall in front of them.
According to manga, Sally, Amanda Julian, many of these other
scholars that have dealt with this whole amount of marijuana he monka
issue, they made it very clear that there are certain etiquette
to be followed the Hadith, which says that when you see a wrong you
change it with your physical when you change your physically,
otherwise, your tone of voice think of it, that hadith itself is
giving that leeway there, because not every situation can you
actually do something physical. But one thing is takes it
literally and thinks we have to everything needs to be physical, I
need to go in and smash this and the other. And it doesn't work.
Because at the end of the day, we don't have the other person's
reform in mind, what we have in mind is a literal following of
this study. And that's not what the Promise of Allah has told us
to do. He told us that reform is what's most important for your
brother to love for them what you love for yourself. There's a way
about attaining that. Otherwise, you will put up a barrier.
It's very important to realize that you can try it out once and
try to give Naziha you give it slowly, slowly. But if you give it
every single day, they'll never want to come and see you again,
they won't want to come in front of you, because they know what
you're gonna say. Now there's a way and attacked about in doing
these things. The other thing is that going back to something about
this absurd as well, which is that we need to make excuses for
people. We need to make excuses for people. And I think we don't
make enough excuses. We just take it at face value, and then we just
put a judgment on them. In fact, what happens is that if we've got
a valid difference of opinion about a business issue, about a
masjid running issue, you know, within a committee, for example,
you know, the tourists will say, Masjid committees, right?
And throw them you know, wherever you go, there's this, there's this
constant thing. So you've got a difference of opinion with someone
or whether you're running a school or whatever it is, or a family.
What shaytan wants you to do is that what Shavon wants as an
impetus to to create more discord. So what shaytan does is that it
takes that issue, and then he makes you get personal. So now
you're looking for character assassination, you're looking for
characteristics of that person that are weak, that there's a
defect, and then you will bring those into the equation, they have
nothing to do with the issue, you will conflate the matter. And that
is absolutely wrong. Because what it is even if you've got a valid
difference of opinion, even between two fuqaha you're not
allowed to get person the former the holder of a Muslim still
stands there. The whole matter is
the person's honor. The honor of a Muslim, isn't that still there?
Just because somebody holds a different Madhab than yours. Does
that mean his honor goes down the drain. For example, a scholar was
giving a talk about something and some people in the crowd that
followed different ideology.
They didn't like what he was saying. So one got up and protest
stood by this wasn't the Israeli ambassador in UCI, this was a
scholar that was talking about something and somebody gets up
and, and, and
protests, the sheikh. Instead of responding. He sat down for a
moment immediately. And the crowd is wondering what's going on. Then
he stood up and he said, I just hope brother that your love or
sorry, Your enemy is better than your flock, that your knowledge is
better than your than your than your conduct. Because seriously,
what are we doing here you are destroying the person's karma by
doing this to the difference of opinion, go and speak to them.
person is not talking about cover that you have to get up and just
talk and, and scream. People become zealous, people become
overly zealous. And then they begin to break the hormone if
somebody hasn't, this is what shaytaan was. They wanted that you
start with something and then you go into something else. And it's
the only true pious people that realize the boundaries of these
things. In fact, you know what some people do I've even seen this
happen. It was where this can happen in two different issues
because Allah subhanaw taala says the way the hot tub of moja he
ruined a pug who Salama that when the ignorant people confront them.
They sense that I'm already gonna say peace. They again, they take
that literally. And I've seen people where they disagree with
some of the person tries to engage them.
He says, this is such a belittling way. He says in such a belittling
way that * brother, your ignorance, it's just the undertone
is there.
That's not what the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, he said,
come out of it in a peaceful I mean, that's not what Allah
subhanho wa Taala means by that.
I'm sure the idea is that, you know, you come up with a piece of
news, mocking them and put them down and just carry on. I mean,
that's not the way it's about a peaceful exit. And likewise, I've
seen this happen. I saw this in Ramadan, where, you know, it says
that if somebody comes and tries to argue with you in Ramadan, you
say, Well, I'm, I'm fasting, right? And we're fasting, you
should still be fasting. Now we should talk about as we'll talk
about it later. That's the way to do it. But I'm fast. I'm pressing
right now.
It's just not the way to do these things.
When meanness comes into it is a shakedown. exploit that meanness
in a person. And you will use the small things, and the person will
use the a hadith and the verses of the Quran to their advantage. When
it comes to this.
The best way is to talk to a person, you got a problem with a
person sit down and talk. Because if you don't, then even when you
come to Salah, for example is the person that comes to the match
when you bring salad, chickens gonna give you ideas or you at
this point against that person, you've got this point against that
person, your entire salad is wrecked.
Because it's especially the masjid politics, especially in Ramadan.
And the best time for Shi Tong to drop his bombs is just before
Ramadan before he gets into before he gets into captivity.
It's got the moon issue
it's the biggest weapon of the shaytaan cluster bomb just big
time. Because just before Ramadan before it's gonna get locked up
shape on the moon issue comes about. And that's it, you come in
the rested for the next five or six days, at least you're thinking
about your arguments, you're reading up on it, rather than
getting into the worship. And then when cheekbone comes up, it's the
eighth issue and it makes you destroy your whatever you managed
to do at the rest of Ramadan. That's just the way shaytaan
works, we must realize that the way to come to these things is to
have a broad heart is to open up ourselves a bit. And to agree to
disagree if that's what you have to do. Where if you absolutely
passionately believe about something to be true and something
needs to be corrected. There are ways to go up think what is the
best way that I can do? What is the best method I can adopt to get
my point through to them. Because if that's not the point, it is
just about it. My job is just about establishing your proof
against them, then really there's no benefit in that most of the
time. That only works sometimes. That's only beneficial sometimes a
call for sometimes
if you find that you're a person who finds faults in people all the
time and you're never satisfied with anybody, then you've got a
problem.
There's some people there's just like that F with everybody,
they've got an issue, there's something on the other. The thing
is that really in all in all honesty in all reality, each one
of us has some defects. And if somebody went around, he'd be able
to find 10 defects in me and you know, five or 10 in everybody
else. But that's not what we've been looking that's not what we've
been taught to look at the proximal awesome set that we have
on set our Muslim and whoever veils a believer and Allah
subhanaw taala will build them in the urine because it's a fact that
we are weak individuals.
But you want to create problem your treatment, the love and you
go around and you you point these points out and then not
answers. They're just foolish points, which just are not
necessary.
The openness of the heart, let me give you one example that gives
you an understanding of the openness of the hearts. Sandman
five, zero the Allah one is a Persian.
He's coming to Makkah and he's coming to Madina Munawwara This
was after the profit and loss and passed away I think he had a
friend of with the love of your loved one. And he wanted to get
married. And he found that there was a girl in a particular tribe.
And he said to Yolanda, look, I'm a foreigner, you're the person of
the area. Take me along, you're my friend take me along and propose
to this girl, this girl's family for me. So he said, Okay, fine.
With all honesty, he knew his friends, right? They they knew
each other.
They weren't there. And that really Allahu Anhu says that you
wait outside for a while, they don't know who you are, or go and
speak to them or lay the scenes and and bring you in. So okay,
fine. So he's outside.
And he isn't then he alone is inside. And some model facility
owners waiting outside and waiting and waiting. And eventually he
comes out. Eventually he comes out. And he says to him, that
my brother, I went in the I proposed for you. And they turned
around, they said, you know, we don't know him somewhere else. We
know you. You're a good guy. You're a good person. Why don't
you get married to fight for Okay, fine, I'll get married.
Now, imagine that happened with you? With a good friend. Imagine
what happened with you just put yourself in that position.
Your friend has never let you down. But this time, this is what
happened.
What would you do? Someone first? Well, that's what I was kind of
autonomous mobile to you. That's what Allah subhanaw taala wanted.
He was written for you. That's the open heartedness we need. And if
you've got that open heartedness. And that meanness comes out of our
ourselves that believe me, most of the disagreements that we have
will, will be diminished, we won't have them anymore. We can focus on
higher aspects. And that's what the problem is. Why is it that in
the last 100 to 200 years is when we've been characterized with a
downfall, despite the fact that we've got people who consider to
be reviving, you know, people who consider to get everybody in the
sea of theta as such.
And before that, the Muslims were Mashallah.
In great positions of elevation around the world,
there's something wrong, isn't it? You're creating discord in the
community. It may be just locally, but eventually it will have its
repercussions on a much higher level. And the whole Muslim almost
suffers, I think we need to open up our hearts. And the other thing
on a on an individual basis is a Hadith that's related by mahadi.
His a double buffered, says Mattawa learn if you lie Mattawa
does not live in love. But you fall in love. He's dumping your
diesel who had
that when two people have loved each other.
When two people have loved each other for the sake of being
they've been good friends for the second one was fine with the
island. And then suddenly, they noticed that the is that there's
discord between them, then it is because of a sin that one of them
has committed.
That's something that we need to look into. There's something else
there are valid places where sometimes we know when we get into
a situation with certain people, there's going to be an argument,
what do you do about that? You know, if you have to go to a
meeting, right? Or
to meet someone where you think you're gonna get into an argument.
Calm down.
Number two, there is a drug which is very powerful for the Prophet
salallahu Alaihe Salam, I want you know, everybody can repeat it at
least once with me so you might be able to remember it. Allahumma
inni RubyCon
Mina Shikakai.
One if RP was two o'clock
that means all I seek refuge in You from disputation, Coralie
disputation, quarreling, and hypocrisy in the fog hypocrisy,
shake up disputation quarter and quarreling. Knee fog is hypocrisy
was sue in athalon bad character because at the end of the day, all
of this just goes back to bad character
a lot of meaning who became in a Shekhar even if it was two o'clock
and then you'll be a lot more controlled. And if you look at
recent studies, what they've what they've discovered is exactly what
the Prophet sallallahu sallam said Subhanallah when after Labor
Masuda de Allah who don't know when
we'll be fighting on the Allah one. He was once in the fields
and somebody got him very angry. So he sat down in the mud was
irrigation of agricultural lands, you sat down in the mud, and
you're still angry, and he laid down there, what are you doing?
This isn't the rest of the laws and told me that if I get angry, I
should sit down. And if I if it doesn't subside that I need to lie
down. And recently, what they found is that you're you're a lot
more accepting of points. If you want to criticize somebody, make
sure they're not standing up.
Seriously, there's been research that you don't why they make you
sit and relax on a shrinks chair, that there's there's a lot of
research behind that if you if you want to criticize somebody in
their standing up, they're more or less likely, they're less likely
to accept that than if they're sitting down than if they're lying
down. So if you want to really get your point down or somebody get
them in I think given a lot of fruits and you know, Marshall, let
them lie down and then give it to them. That'd be a lot more
accepting of that
the prophets of Allah ru Salam, I mean, especially even now in the
Arab lands, whenever there's a discord you know, whenever
somebody is getting a bit heated, suddenly Ireland every Sunday,
Ireland who is reminding him of the prophets, Allah loves me. Why
are they doing that? Because the prophets of Allah already he was
Allah was the greatest individual that ever lived, that would bring
people together. And that was his greatest mission. And lift Amina
couldn't be him.
And that's why you remember the Rama SallAllahu Sallam that this
was his way you're reminding both of them, calm down, relax, follow
the Sunnah Don't be mean, have good character, respect the home
of the other person respect the honor and the dignity of the other
person.
And finally, how do the South Africans not have a difference of
opinion when it comes to the moon issue, despite the fact that
they've got all the groups on there as well that we have here
is just a practical solution. Just one idea of the moon issue.
I'm just throwing it in. They all get together all of the different
groups. And if anybody disagrees that it should be Ramadan tomorrow
than this. If any one group says okay, now we don't agree with
this. Okay, it's not done. We're just doing the next thing.
And that's it, everybody's happy.
Because at the end of the day, doing it a day before somebody
else, right.
It's safer. The other way around. This is more dangerous because at
the end of the day, it's not Ramadan, according to that other
group. But if we go with the fact that one person doesn't disagree
that even though it's Ramadan, we're gonna go with it tomorrow
for the sake of unity, then it's fine. That's just the proposal.
It's for the moon sighting. It's for the moon sighting committees.
And
that's something just for them to decide. I just couldn't resist but
just talk about that because we're talking about at the end of the
day, Allah subhanho wa Taala opened up our hearts, Allah
subhanho wa Taala allow us give us wisdom to perceive the way to take
issues forward in a positive way to build on our on our strengths
and our differences, to build on them and to celebrate, celebrate
them in a proper way so that we can complement each other. Allah
subhanaw taala give us Adelphia and JazakAllah him for all of you
for staying so long. Dhawan and hamdulillah cropping?