Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Cannot Marry Who You Want

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			I am a divorce girl I wanted, I
waited to marry, I wanted to
		

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			marry, he wanted to marry me too.
But family didn't expect me. He's
		

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			getting married to somebody else,
how do I get myself out of this
		

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			depression? This is something that
we've actually covered several
		

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			times in the past, you just have
to understand that at the end of
		

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			the day, not everything works the
way you want it to. And there
		

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			could be so many wisdoms in that,
that you just don't know right
		

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			now. Right. So since you've lost
the person right now just have to
		

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			look at the positive side of it.
Because if this was supposed to be
		

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			good for you, you would have had
it, but it's not. So thank Allah,
		

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			that maybe there's something and
then move on. The longer you cry
		

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			over this and fuss over it. The
longer you the more you are
		

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			spoiling your chances of finding
somebody better, better, yes,
		

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			better. I say that, because
		

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			through various different
experiences, sometimes you think
		

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			something is the best. And you
think I need to get this and then
		

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			you lose it and you feel
		

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			totally
		

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			at loss that you know, there's
going to be nothing better, then
		

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			Allah subhanaw taala gives you
something but Nina in the world is
		

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			always better things is always
better things. When it comes to
		

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			people, there's an emotional
attachment that ensues, which
		

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			makes you feel that this is the
best person.
		

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			Right. And when you don't get
them, you feel like you've lost
		

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			the best person, nobody can fit
their shoes, fill their shoes,
		

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			that's completely wrong. Allah can
make you satisfied. So stop
		

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			feeling like that. And understand
that maybe there was something in
		

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			here that I can't understand, I
have to trust in Allah.
		

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			And let me look for some because
the longer you're going to cry
		

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			over this, the longer it is going
to take you to get over and to
		

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			find something better. And you're
going to miss a lot of
		

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			opportunities. There are many fish
in the sea, as they say, right? I
		

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			had one person called me once and
basically their proposal had
		

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			broken down, and they hadn't even
got married, their proposal had
		

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			broken down. And she was fretting
over why it had happened. So she's
		

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			basically saying that okay, maybe
it was because I said this on this
		

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			day, maybe because I didn't do
this on this day. Maybe it's
		

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			because of this email or this word
that I used. Or maybe it's because
		

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			of this dress I wore and I'm like
why are you wasting your time for
		

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			this person is gone. Forget it
now. Right? It's you can't you
		

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			know, you don't have a time
machine that you can go back and
		

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			Okay, change your address, or
change your statement, or do
		

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			things differently. It's finished.
Why cry over spilt milk.
		

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			The Prophet sallallahu Sallam is
telling us rissalah Mayan Farooq,
		

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			you need to go and avidly seek out
that which is to your benefit,
		

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			what attaches and do not sit back
enfeebled. Do not sit back and
		

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			just be weakened. That's not what
life is about. Anybody will tell
		

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			you that.
		

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			I would suggest that you listen to
this talk that I have called Don't
		

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			be depressed you don't know your
future. Because that really helps
		

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			to understand the whole decree
aspect of it. Right, that there is
		

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			another force out there there is
Allah's understanding of
		

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			everything that we're going to do,
which he had from before. And he
		

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			does things to the for the best.
And there's numerous examples,
		

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			right? of where things went wrong.
The people felt really, really let
		

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			down. But later on, they found
that that was the best thing that
		

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			had happened to them. Right, that
was the best thing that had
		

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			happened to them. And really, you
got no other way to think because
		

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			you can sit back and cry forever,
and he's not going to come back.
		

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			So think of it that way. And just
ask Allah subhanaw taala to give
		

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			you something better, keep doing
the Istikhara prayer for the next
		

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			best thing in sha Allah. And may
Allah give you that