Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Cannot Marry Who You Want

I am a divorce girl I wanted, I waited to marry, I wanted to

marry, he wanted to marry me too. But family didn't expect me. He's

getting married to somebody else, how do I get myself out of this

depression? This is something that we've actually covered several

times in the past, you just have to understand that at the end of

the day, not everything works the way you want it to. And there

could be so many wisdoms in that, that you just don't know right

now. Right. So since you've lost the person right now just have to

look at the positive side of it. Because if this was supposed to be

good for you, you would have had it, but it's not. So thank Allah,

that maybe there's something and then move on. The longer you cry

over this and fuss over it. The longer you the more you are

spoiling your chances of finding somebody better, better, yes,

better. I say that, because

through various different experiences, sometimes you think

something is the best. And you think I need to get this and then

you lose it and you feel

totally

at loss that you know, there's going to be nothing better, then

Allah subhanaw taala gives you something but Nina in the world is

always better things is always better things. When it comes to

people, there's an emotional attachment that ensues, which

makes you feel that this is the best person.

Right. And when you don't get them, you feel like you've lost

the best person, nobody can fit their shoes, fill their shoes,

that's completely wrong. Allah can make you satisfied. So stop

feeling like that. And understand that maybe there was something in

here that I can't understand, I have to trust in Allah.

And let me look for some because the longer you're going to cry

over this, the longer it is going to take you to get over and to

find something better. And you're going to miss a lot of

opportunities. There are many fish in the sea, as they say, right? I

had one person called me once and basically their proposal had

broken down, and they hadn't even got married, their proposal had

broken down. And she was fretting over why it had happened. So she's

basically saying that okay, maybe it was because I said this on this

day, maybe because I didn't do this on this day. Maybe it's

because of this email or this word that I used. Or maybe it's because

of this dress I wore and I'm like why are you wasting your time for

this person is gone. Forget it now. Right? It's you can't you

know, you don't have a time machine that you can go back and

Okay, change your address, or change your statement, or do

things differently. It's finished. Why cry over spilt milk.

The Prophet sallallahu Sallam is telling us rissalah Mayan Farooq,

you need to go and avidly seek out that which is to your benefit,

what attaches and do not sit back enfeebled. Do not sit back and

just be weakened. That's not what life is about. Anybody will tell

you that.

I would suggest that you listen to this talk that I have called Don't

be depressed you don't know your future. Because that really helps

to understand the whole decree aspect of it. Right, that there is

another force out there there is Allah's understanding of

everything that we're going to do, which he had from before. And he

does things to the for the best. And there's numerous examples,

right? of where things went wrong. The people felt really, really let

down. But later on, they found that that was the best thing that

had happened to them. Right, that was the best thing that had

happened to them. And really, you got no other way to think because

you can sit back and cry forever, and he's not going to come back.

So think of it that way. And just ask Allah subhanaw taala to give

you something better, keep doing the Istikhara prayer for the next

best thing in sha Allah. And may Allah give you that