Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – All About Willpower
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Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa
Salatu was Salam O Allah, so you didn't want to sit in while he was
so happy he married a mother. And I think one of the ways to look at
how
to become stable in this life is to actually see how
what kind of acts a person can do that stabilizes their life. A lot
of the time, when a person has stability in their life, it's
because of excesses.
If you're doing excessively something or the other, it's
eventually going to affect you.
So for a while, if you're doing something when I say excessive, I
mean,
excessive here means anything that a person is not able to deal with,
either from a natural perspective or a person is not
a person doesn't have the,
the heart to be able to deal with that issue. So it's being forced.
So there's two things one is a person is doing something
unnatural, or a person is doing something that is too much of a
burden on the heart and enough's.
So there's two ways of looking at this. Now, this can also this also
refers to doing too much sin,
which is an unnatural thing, humans should not be sinning to
that level. Right. So if a person is committing a sin in excess, as
much as they're enjoying it, as much as they are successful in it,
deep down, when reality does strike, they will feel bad about
this, they will feel guilty about it, they'll have issues with it,
they will want to come out of it. But it'll be very difficult to do
so because the
the roots of this sin over the many years or many months that
person has been doing it have become very solidified. On the
other hand, if a person then suddenly becomes inspired by a
lecture or a talk some incident in their life or something and then
they want to become good. And they then embark on a lot of worship.
Now, a lot of worship is always a good thing. But there are certain
worships as told by the Messiah, through experiences and so on,
that
they have to be gradually implemented. Otherwise,
it's too much for the heart. It's, it's too much for the knifes when
the nurse is used to doing something so much and then you try
to cut it completely. And you try to change it completely. It's very
difficult. For the nurse most people won't get away with it.
Some people may because then you need willpower as well. The human
being is a very complex being and we have so many different factors.
So number one, we have our heart and our spirituality. We have our
knifes and we have our desire, then we have willpower. Willpower
needs to work in tandem with our enough's
the cravings of our enough's or the control of our knifes, we're
going to be on a spectrum when it comes to control or craving of our
enough's. The more degenerated enough becomes it becomes more
craving, the more
in control our knifes becomes, then it's way more in control. So
that's our knifes and that's the spectrum between the Nerf smoke in
the Nerf Salawa and the laughs Amara Amara is the one that
incites to evil and the other one is the one that incites to that
makes the person feel why you're doing this, the censoring self.
That's the knifes when it comes to the heart as well.
There's a heart that has the doors opened up of the higher realms,
the Mad River, they have certain levels of Maratha. And there's
another heart which doesn't. Another heart which hasn't
recognized Allah subhanaw taala. They believe in Allah, we're
talking about believers here. So they have the basic belief, but
the doors, the richness of this dimension has not been opened up
for that person. So that heart is still a weak heart in terms of the
Sharia. It still goes from here to there, sometimes it has goodwill,
it wants to do good, but too much good. May not be able to heart
will not be able to deal with it. So essentially, all of these
things need to be trained, all of these things need to be trained.
So when you talk about this enough's in the spectrum, the
heart in the spectrum,
what really helps with all of this, if we look at it purely from
a human perspective, is then the willpower. How much willpower do
we have?
Of course, then there's the matter of Tofik here. We can't use our
willpower etc. None of this will play out properly for us. If
there's no tofi from Allah subhanaw taala divine guidance,
divine providence
Divine enablement. That's what Allah subhanaw taala provides.
Some people have very weak willpower, they need a lot more
Tofik everybody needs Tofik everybody needs Tofik. But what
I'm saying is that, for them to strengthen their willpower
something big has to happen.
Because they have very weak willpower, they, they, they like
the wind, they like a leaf in the wind, they go anywhere, and
everywhere that somebody takes them, they have no mind of their
own. But many people even like that, so many people even like
that suddenly become
they become particular. Many people even like that, they become
particular sometimes, and they're able to strengthen themselves.
Now, to get the heart right, and to get the knifes in control,
there's going to be a certain amount of willpower that's
necessary. Now the fight is going to be between your willpower and
between your enough's and between how receptive your heart is. So if
the knifes has been used to a number of different things going
out so much, talking to a lot of people, right, and enjoying
yourself eating out a lot, doing certain sins in abundance, you
know, whether that be looking at haram flirting around seeing the
Haram messing around, smoking this that on the other, and then a
person is starting to try to change all of these things
immediately. Can you see what kind of burden it's providing on his
willpower?
And his knifes, can you see the willpower? How much willpower does
he have? How much the willpower is going to be strengthened by a
number of things. The Willpower has to be strength by a number
otherwise you lose your will. Because at the end of the day, the
reason why until now they've been doing all of these things out of
moderation. And when I say moderation, I said okay, most
people they may they may speak a bit here and there, they may enjoy
themselves. But when you go beyond that, and that's your enjoyment is
to do everything under the sun out there, then you're out of
moderation. Now, how much willpower Do you think you need to
curb that moderation to deal with that moderation.
So until now, we didn't have much willpower. That's why we're doing
these things. Our willpower was used in a wrong way.
So there is willpower there because you need willpower to go
and do all of these things. But it was in the wrong center, how much
do you need to turn it around?
So how do you increase your willpower against these things?
That's the question. You have to have an incentive don't you?
Because then the knifes is a weird creature within us, which likes to
be fed.
It loves to be fed.
It consumes our knifes is the consumer part of us.
Now, if we don't give them enough something else to consume, then
it's gonna want to consume what it's used to consuming. And
clearly, we're speaking about somebody who's
not on the moderate path you. So we're talking he's constantly
consuming enjoyment and the lust and desires and greed and in all
of these things, she's gonna have to give it something else. So
until a person doesn't make the knifes attached to something else,
something righteous and pious, that becomes a desire.
Not a burden, not just a cure. But I want to take that as a hobby in
a sense
that how can you increase your willpower?
Do you understand? So the nurse has to be associated with
something. And that's where Allah subhanaw taala uses the word
knifes in many, many different ways. Bukal comes from the knifes
desire comes from the north. So these are our biggest issues
desire. So generally,
if you get yourself attached to something as a mission in life as
a hobby, as an interest,
that is religious.
If it's worship Alhamdulillah but for most people, to switch from
complete sin to love of worship is way more difficult. Some people do
it. But then there's parallels in that way as well that need to be
dealt with. But some people do it that do that. But most people find
it very difficult. So then get involved with something that is
religious, but not necessarily 100% form of worship, for example.
Go and volunteer for something so that your time that you spend
active. Now you're spending actively with something else but
it's a religious activity, go and interact with the right group of
people. Find some fun religious friends as opposed to other
people.
You get to see what Twitter has done is that it's opened up for
the entire world how different people think
So you look through the different people's profiles, and you see the
kind of stuff that they're discussing on there. And you
understand, and you go down. I mean, sometimes, you know, you
just get caught up with one line, you think what's going on here,
and then you look down in that entire profile. And what you
notice is that they are tweeting, and they are retweeting from
others, a very similar kind of category of tweets. So if it's all
about a young person, girl or boy, looking, you know, for their
prospective, love, or whatever it is, or disobedience to parents is
another one. For example, one tweet I read was recently, I was
just shocked, because it's like, if you
my mom's been complaining about a headache all day, because she
hasn't had her tea. What uh, what what Indian BS? Is that or what?
Pakistan Asian BS, is that? Right? You can understand the context
where that's coming from? She seems she Oh, here, can you
remember what it was, cannot relate to this. So the poor mom is
complaining. If you if you're addicted to tea, and you don't
have tea, it does give you a headache, it can give you a
headache, right? It's just caffeine issues, right? Withdrawal
symptoms, it's a scientific thing. It's not a psychological thing,
necessarily. Maybe some people will say it's a psychological
thing. But then to reduce it to this,
right?
I can't even remember. But I was just reading and I thought
Subhanallah, this gives you the understanding how people are
living there. And this is their perspective, this is how they live
their life. And this is not the worst of it. Some people are
saying,
my future lover, whatever is probably having a good time,
relaxing. And this is how I'd like them to be and all that kind of
stuff. This is just all provocative talk. But the whole
life is being spent these few years of these are being spent in
this kind of discussion.
It gets something out of it. What do you get out of it? Obviously,
you get something out of it. That's why you're doing this. And
all the tweets and retweets are of people of that nature. It's almost
like a gin. So yummy Lu emergency, people are being inclined to the
same kind of people. How do you find other people who say the same
thing? How do they find you? is achieved that Twitter is an IG
world with the algorithms that they use. Sometimes you tweet
something, and even a non Muslim person who finds some wisdom in
there will retweet it, how did he find out? So it really functions
on what you've been tweeting, and it adds things together and
presents, you know, likes to you that are similar to see it goes
it's a big, you can say
it's a it's a big psychological experience. It's experiment that's
going on there. But what that teaches us is that this is just
human faculty, this is the knifes this is what we're used to. So a
person needs to switch to a beneficial hobby. That's why what
we've seen that the most successful people are generally
those who I've been involved in, and I know numerous of these
people who are now some of them are even full of, you know, some
of them are even qualified that they did not start off.
You know, I was fortunate enough that I went to a madrasah right
from the age of 1112. Because, you know, we had alumni in the family
and you know, and so on and so forth. It's not to say we never
did anything bad. But, you know, we went into the whole field
really early. But I know a number of my friends who only get got
into it after age of 2030. And they will not on the best track in
fact somewhat just about Muslim humble and not even Muslim, even
though they came from Pakistani culture,
or Indian culture, whatever it was. So one thing I've seen very
beneficial is that they take on a study,
which is the study of the dean.
So what that does is that that replaces your free time, it gives
you activity to do it gives you focus in life, and it gives you an
ambition and a goal, that inshallah I'll be considered an
acronym at least in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala if I study
the Quran and the Sunnah. And then the things, what increases
willpower,
right, what increases willpower, what increases willpower is
inspirational things.
We need inspiration to keep our willpower strong. I've seen in
many cases, there's people who come you know who come here, right
for a few weeks or whatever, and there's strong and then for some
reason they had to miss because they went out or whatever. And
then after that it's much easier to miss and then the liquor drops
as well. Because when you don't get the weekly inspiration or the
monthly inspiration or the regular inspiration of you know, have some
kind of talk or some kind of experiment experience or anything
of that nature. Then your willpower gets off. This is the
Human Being until you get set in your ways, once a person is set in
their ways, and they have a vicar routine, and they have a lifestyle
to match, which is generally devoid of sin, and mostly on
piety, which has become the everyday norm, then it becomes
easier. They won't progress if they don't get inspiration. But at
least they will avoid a lot of the haram. And they will be on a good
lifestyle. And I think this is where we need to go first, that if
we've had some weird lifestyles, in terms of what we used to like
to do, and everything like that, let's try to curb as much of the
big things as possible, and get rid of them. Now,
what happens then, for some people is that they, they've tried very
hard, and now they want to cut everything away, which is a very
good thought and an ambition and the goal. But the fact that we're
human beings, we are going to falter once in a while.
Now remember, the other person they talked to you about, which is
that the person who's jumped into worship full time,
you know, they managed to avoid all of these things. And they
managed to make a complete turn and to worship all the time. Now,
their peril is that because their heart isn't prepared yet, they've
got an enormous boost of willpower. That's how they managed
to just turn their life and now hate everything actively, that
they used to do, and want to do everything good that they now want
to do. So they've got a huge boost of willpower, but do they have the
heart to carry them along?
Do they have the heart to carry them along? Do they have enough
control over their knifes to carry them along? So you see the knifes
is one of those weird things, which
apparently,
if you deprive it completely, it will rebel in the beginning, it
will rebel.
Now, because of your immense amount of boost and boost of
willpower, you're going to be able to control your enough's for maybe
a week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, five weeks, a month,
10 months, you know, five months, seven months. Now, what is the
cutoff period, it is a maturity period after which the NOS will
now leave it because the enough's is a very
greedy
and a very cunning self, it will lie in wait
until we're not able to bash it and break it completely. When is
it completely like you know, mostly, it will come back. So
that's why if a person does too much, and doesn't allow the knifes
even a bit,
then eventually they will break sometimes, unless we talk the bit
of it, sometimes they have a massive experience where it
doesn't they don't change whatsoever. Since so many people
like this, that non Muslims become Muslim, and they become better
than Muslims in the first few months. And then after that, they
started getting weaker, weaker, weaker, you got all that, because
at the end of the day, there was a circle you had, there was a circle
of friends that you had. So they're gonna be
especially certain sins are very difficult to remove. Drinking is
one of them. Drinking is one of them.
Sexual related ones are very difficult unless you can find a
halal way of doing it. Unfortunately, when you're talking
about young people, most people they're not married. So how do
they stay clean, without getting married, and without re involving
themselves in Haram? They were they were used to so much haram in
terms of sexual nature, for example, or drinking for some
people very difficult. And then if you haven't been able to cut away
from the same kind of friends who talk about these things, how would
you do it, then? Can you see all of these things here? That's why
you need a massive amount of tofi massive amount of IQ and you get
Tofik by asking Allah subhanaw taala we're not talking about the
miraculous individual, that one who Allah chooses, for some reason
and just gives him the Tofik. Right, we need to keep trying.
That's why there Omar mentioned, as the rook mentions is I believe
it's zero cool talks about how to avoid sin, that even after several
years of a sin that you used to commit, don't think you're brave
enough to avoid it and go into its environment. Don't because it has
a friend within you. Which is the knifes and this is the exact
things that studies on alcohol people on drunken people who have
come out of addiction. It tells you the same thing that even after
five years, just the smell of beer or wine can cause a relapse. The
cigarette.
The worst time for smokers is that when they got going 10 They've
given up smoking, but then there's a tension that happens. You know
they undergo some with some stress in their life. And then they
realize what kind of
comfort they used to get through cigarettes at the time. You see
the reason they stopped it because they know the harms? The pleasures
of cigarette are there that that's why people smoke and the pleasures
are there anyway, right
But they focus on the harms of cigarettes has gone beyond their
love of its pleasure. That's why they're able to stop.
Enough over that that's why they able to stop a lot of people who
are smokers an addict addicts, but and they know the harms they can't
they the willpower has to be increased to such a degree about
the harms, and about what I want to do to be able to overcome its
addiction. But after five years, I say the person went through some
stressful times, and I know people like this, they'd given up, had a
stressful time and they started smoking again. And now the second
time they find it way more difficult to get rid of.
That's why the aroma mentioned that if there's a sin that you're
you've been used to commit, when he's you're not used to committing
something, then there's already a massive taboo, the the natural
fitrah that Allah subhanaw taala has given you is intact. The
problem is when we corrupt that fitrah when we break that veil of
that fitrah and we get used to doing it, then the novices got a
friend, it's very easy. So that's why if a person goes past drink,
in some time, or whatever, five years down the lane, the the you
know, you might think it's just drink, but the HUD will remember
its pleasures.
And if that's a moment of weakness, because the insaan goes
through moments of weakness, even if they become pious, they go
through moments of weakness, then what?
So,
the main thing is to change our lifestyle to a religious
lifestyle, to take on something that will occupy our time, if our
problem is wasting time and futile things and certain sins, we can't
get rid of them find what the correct measure is to is in that
regard.
If it's of a sexual nature, we need to get married.
If it's wasting time, and sometimes it's all of these
things, wasting time, let's get ourselves involved in something
that is of benefits. And one of the best things you can get
involved in is the pursuance of knowledge. The reason is that it's
a pure Dini thing. It provides inspiration on the way because
you're learning new Hadith, and the Quran is opening up for you
and the hadith is opening up for you, you know, much of these great
things are open. And that's a constant stream of, of
inspiration. You know, one is that you start doing relief work.
Now, there's some inspiration in there.
But
and, and other things, but the most effective thing is probably
steady. Because you just going further and further and deeper and
deeper and deeper, you're getting closer and closer to Allah
subhanaw taala, and provides a constant stream of inspiration
that then keeps the willpower at its height. And it occupies your
time. Especially if you're in it, especially if I don't say here a
self study course, you will fail in that unless you unless you got
willpower for that number is a willpower issue. So if you when
you're not in a self study course, but more in an organized,
orchestrated, cause designed and supervised, because then you got
somebody to answer you've got a classroom situation where you have
to be there, and so on. So even that day, when you don't feel like
going there and you feel like hey, man, what am I taking on? You go
there's people encouraging you, you have good friends around you,
hopefully good classmates, and the net encouraging you. That's why
it's very important to keep yourself occupied. You might think
I don't have any free time or whatever. Well, what's the point
of life? If you're wasting your time and occupying your time with
useless things, then yes, complain all your all you want, that I'm
wasting my time wasting my time. Right? If you're spending all time
at work making money, right? Yes, then complain if you're not doing
anything for your hero. But if you're studying and doing
something for your accurate, then why complain or Hamdulillah.
And there are people I, you know, here we have the evening classes
in Bradford, the evening classes used to run from like nine to 12,
nine to 11, you know, like really late.
And I know people who've gone through that for five, six years
and done their annual course like that. I'm not encouraging
everybody to do that one, you know, to do something like this,
but do what you can do.
And this is along with the daily work that they were doing the
normal, you know, nine to five work or whatever it was that they
were doing. So it's all a possibility.
And the more I think about it, the more I realized that if you want
to get closer to Allah subhanaw taala. The most effective way is
this way that you also take on a study regimen.
You start becoming an Alima Alima whatever it is, and if you're
already an anima or an alum for that matter, right? You need to
continue with that. You need to teach and be studying to teach,
not simple things, but something that is challenging that you need
to study. So that study needs
To continue, the human being is all about knowledge. Why did the
Sahaba increase so much? Why were they so steadfast as they were,
they had a constant stream of knowledge, all this knowledge that
we're studying, this is what's being
revealed at their time. So you think they were just like normal
people? No, they were constantly and you know, that the Roma or the
Allahu anhu, what you he used to do, where he used to partner up
with another Sahabi one day he used to go so that was under the
law and who could go and do his work and earn his living and tend
to his fields or whatever he had, and the other one is going to
listen and jot the notes down. And then the other day, it's the he
would go and the other person would go out. Today it's become
much more easier, everything is recorded. And at your leisure, you
can listen to these things. And as I mentioned before, as well, you
can listen you can repeat you can the Sheikh is at your disposal
online, you know, on the recording, forward him double him,
you know the double speed, really make him repeat himself, you can
do as much as you want. Allah has made it so easy today.
Allah has made it so easy today. If you can't start off with first
you know, a full fledged Alim course, then start off with some
basic classes. But once a week, you need to take at least one
class to start with.
So that's how insha Allah will provide a constant stream of
inspiration, of food, of nourishment, and of his, this is
the result that we need, you know, which is the nourishment of
sustenance. And then in sha Allah, the willpower will stay strong.
Slowly, we've replaced the shadow of the KNOX with another desire
another motive in life, which is to study and do something well, so
then knifes has to be given a motive. If you're a boring person
that sits home and waste their time all the time, and you can't
do something else that is going to be very difficult for you to avoid
sin.
Because you are novices just lazy.
Then how'd you get out? You're gonna have to get out and do other
things.
Because you're not is not going to like to go and do something else
just wants to laze around and just watch TV all day or online or
haram or whatever it is, all day. And then some people are extremes.
They
do a lot of worship for a while. And then after that, they lose
out. They slug it out. Then they go into sin and they completely go
into sin. There's no moderation in their life.
There's no moderation in their life. One has to understand that
look, we are going to make mistakes sometimes that this
should not make us despondent have ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada. Just make
Toba and carry on.
Mistakes happen.
May Allah subhanaw taala give us the Tofik May Allah subhanho wa
Taala give us the dovie may give us balance in our life because
that balance is extremely important. Maybe he
turned our desires into the things which are of benefit for us.
A lot of Monticello and Salon developed the majority were the
Quran alone they are how you help the younger Ramadan history's
Allahu Mia. The younger it kind of stuff is Allahumma Yana Yamuna.
Illa Illa Allah Subhana Allah in the Quran I mean a lolly mean
of Allah, O Allah we are sinful servants of Allah however we are
whoever we are our Allah we are Your servants of Allah.
Guide us right oh Allah forgive us our sins of Allah forgive us our
sins Forgive us our wrongdoings Forgive us our excesses Oh ALLAH
we've committed many excesses in our life. Oh Allah we've committed
many sins in our life. Oh Allah we have many incorrect ideas. Oh
Allah, Oh Allah sometimes we don't even know that we're thinking
incorrectly about something. Oh Allah show us the truth is the
truth and allow us to follow it. Oh Allah show us the wrong as the
wrong and allow us to abstain from it. Oh Allah grant us
steadfastness. Oh Allah grant us St. Come grant a steadfastness
grant. This is the karma. Oh Allah make the best of our Allah make
that make the best of decrees for us. Oh Allah made the best of
decrees for us and allow us to be satisfied with your decrees of
Allah O Allah. We want to live this life of sin and excess and Oh
ALLAH to become yours. Oh Allah to do everything in our life for you.
Oh Allah to do everything in our life for you. Oh Allah. Oh Allah
accept us O Allah accept us.
Online accept our likes it oh Allah forgive us our sins of Allah
forgive us our wrongdoings our love Forgive us our wrongdoings.
Allah bless us. Oh Allah blesses, oh Allah remove the difficulties
in our life of Allah remove the difficulties in our life, remove
the difficulties in our life. Oh Allah grant us connection to you
grant us your love and the love of those who love you, Allah
Lord grant us your love and the love of those whose love benefits
us. In your in your court. Oh Allah Oh Allah grant us pious
company. Oh Allah grant us pious company. Oh Allah in Dallas whose
best hours with beneficial knowledge of Allah keep us away
from the wrong knowledge and from futility and from mundane
activities of Allah allow us to be engaged, engaged in your worship,
and in serving you at all times of Allah assist our brothers and
sisters around the world of Allah assist our brothers and sisters
around the world. Oh Allah help us help them of Allah and you help us
Oh Allah, we ask that You grant us Anthea, you grant us Anthea, you
grant us Alfia and you allow us to do the right things in this life
and make our hearts the way you want them to be. Oh Allah grant us
your mercy grant us your mercy Oh Allah, this path that you have put
us on You granted us Islam you've granted us Iman you've granted us
a concern of Allah you've granted us a concern that's a great
neighbor of yours. Oh Allah for this we thank you. But Allah we
asked you for much more of Allah we ask you for much more of Allah,
we ask You for much more. You have given us the trophy to do this
thicker and to remember you even though it's only a small amount,
and we're supposed to be worshipping you, our Allah.
We thank you for this. Oh Allah, we thank you for this. Our mouths
have become tired our teas have, our teeth are broken by eating so
much of your bounties and your nema. But Oh Allah, our tongues do
not make enough of your sugar. Oh Allah, we don't make enough of
your sugar. Oh Allah when we look around us and look at other people
and how they're suffering and how they're deprived. Oh Allah, we got
so much to thank you for we got so much to thank you for got so much
to thank you for, oh Allah make us of your shackling. Oh Allah make
us of your shackling of those who are grateful to you. Oh Allah make
us eternally grateful to you. Oh Allah, Oh Allah grant us this RFP
or grant us this Alfia Oh ALLAH assist us and help us of Allah
assist us and help us. Oh Allah help us. Oh Allah sisters, grant
us the Karim Allah Ilaha illa Allah on our deathbed. Oh Allah
don't let us see a bad day in our life. Oh Allah with our iman. Oh
Allah and especially on our deathbed grantors the Kenema La
Ilaha illa Allah, O Allah protect the Iman, our iman and the Eman of
our,
our our family, our loved ones, our close ones and the entire
Muslim Ummah. Oh Allah all these people who are refugees who are
coming of Allah strengthen the EMA and protect the EMA and maintain
their Iman. Oh Allah make them a source of blessing for Europe. Oh
Allah make them a source of blessing for Europe of Allah make
them a source of blessing for us. Oh Allah make them a source of
blessing for all of us and make that a cause of your mercy to
descend upon us. Oh Allah assist us and help us of Allah sisters
and help us Subhan Allah because Allah is sitting. LC foon was
salam al Marcelino Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen