Abdullah Hakim Quick – War Against Muslim Women Qa
AI: Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the importance of avoiding abuse and maintaining modesty in Islam, finding a woman who can pray with her feet, privacy laws, and finding a way to handle difficult relationships. They also discuss the cultural and political dynamics of the United States, the use of social media and the virtual extension of the symptoms of COVID-19, and the impact of the pandemic on women, including the use of face masks and the success of The Good Doctor.
AI: Summary ©
smilla rahmanir rahim hamdulillah salatu salam ala rasulillah salam aleikum, wa rahmatullah.
There are a few questions that are asking you know about my own life. And I don't usually talk about myself. But I just wanted to say just to make it clear to you, that 100 law, I embraced Islam myself after 20 years of being a non Muslim, born in the United States, and I've lived in Canada and Jamaica, and Saudi Arabia, now living in South Africa. And basically, I'm not, I'm a field worker, and a person doing research and involved in data. So that that's the best way to describe
myself, I wouldn't say convert, we're not using that term, we're saying revert, because we're actually coming back home again,
to the original fitrah, that Allah subhanaw taala put us upon
what I would like to say, concerning the situation of the Muslims here, and some of the questions that I have received
after this lecture, is that your response? Do you know, to what I have said, is similar to responses that Muslims had in Canada, in South Africa and America, and especially throughout the Western countries. And that is that behind the veil
of our outward Islam, we are in a great crisis. And we need to look at this in a positive way. We need to look at it as a challenge to our to ourselves as Muslims, and not to feel depressed and overcome by it, because it is part of the shaytans way to try to stop Islam to put out the light of Allah subhanaw taala. abuse is a reality. And for a long time, there's been denial in our community. There are many people who are crying in their homes, and they're crying for somebody to stand up against us. And if any Muslim comes in contact with abuse, then the province of Southern has said men raw men come mcaren over here who big
any of you sees evil, then change it with his hands? Philomena statia for Billy, sadly, we can't do that. Then with his tongue. for 11 years, for the kalbi was Alec Asafa the man, if he can't change it with his tongue by saying something, go to somebody else, do something to stop it, then at least you feel it in your heart. But that is the lowest form of faith. And so I want to open up the lines, especially with the brothers and sisters here in the Islamic organizations, and that those individuals who are interested to set up a social service center, a practical social service center, then inshallah, in the future, if Allah gives life, I will be willing to return to sit with the
brothers and sisters, to go over the details about how to set up a functional Social Service Center. Right now there are individuals who are in the field, and the organization of gessner, brother Abu Hamza,
sister, Shiraz, and others who are standing up.
They are handling some of these problems, there are other people and other organizations also. So I would say that some of the questions are so deep, some of the points of discussion are so personal, that I wouldn't be able to read these things publicly. It has to be handled by a counselor.
And so I would request that you call to the organization of Islam.
And if there are any other social service agencies, they should make themselves known people who have the skills, they should come forward now, to us and to the leadership to try to handle some of these problems. Another great area of questioning, which I believe that the study circles that are going on in the different Islamic centers, such as Islam and other places will handle, especially for the women in terms of the address is the fact that
our dress of modesty, settle our covering the private paths, male and female, should
be practiced in the masjid and outside of the mustard. It's not something that we do when we just mix a lot. And then we transform, we come these transformers, but we should have one personality. Just as we said for the youth right below becomes Billy. Right Ali becomes owl. Remember that? It can happen for the adults.
When Mohammed can become more
And he can change up when he goes to the business. Or she could change that also after she finishes making salon, and so it is recommended check Nasir Dean Ella Valley rahimullah, who wrote a book, a job, Amara, and muslimah did the hijab of the Muslim woman is one of the best summaries with clear de Lille to show the limits in terms of the dress. And it shows that it is permissible for a woman to expose her face. And her hands, however, are those women who are covering more than that, may Allah subhanaw taala make it easy for them. And they are actually in line with the wives of the Prophet Allah Salah. And it is permissible in Islam to do that. The clothing that we do wear if we
are covering our bodies, as the man is covering from above his navel to below his knee, and especially in Pilates covering over is just our clothing should not be see through.
And it should not be skin tight. You know the spandex generation that I was talking about, where people are actually covered up but they're naked. This is right in line with the Hadith of the Prophet SAW someone who predicted that these days would come. So it should not be skin tight, it should not be our real shining shining colors. It should not be a woman shouldn't be having perfume and going outside, which is which is attracting to the men. And we should not be following along blindly. And especially after the styles of the Westerners or of the capital. And really east and west, it has ended now it's global now. We shouldn't be following the non Muslims in their fashions.
But we should be strong enough to stick to our own fashions and our own styles, in a sense, pleasing Allah subhanaw taala. And to be as simple and as humble as we can in our dress. Also concerning work, this is a question that is coming up constantly. And there may be different opinions that scholars have. The ideal situation, if we have our own territories, and our own lands, is that basically, the responsibility of providing for the family is really on the man. And so he is the one who is burdened to go out to work, we don't necessarily look at work as being a privilege, or work as being, you know, the means of worse of an individual because you go out and work in a factory.
And so modesty has to be maintained. And those families where the man is basically taking care of the responsibility and fulfilling his rights. These are the families that have the most success. When the man takes part of his responsibility, and he puts it on his wife makes her go out to work. He forces her to go out to work. And then he comes home and he thinks he wants to be the king of the house. It doesn't work like that. Because that was his response to that nafa was on him. He was supposed to do it. But we have the case of a man who goes out to work. And he comes back. His wife comes back at 430 she had to work. She goes to the factory.
She arrives at 430
he arrives at 530 he kicks his feet up on the chair, where's my food?
Okay, now she turns around, she's been listening to the woman's liberation all day at the factory. And she says you cook the dinner?
And then it's world war three.
So problems develop, why are you forcing her to go out to work? That's not her responsibility. Even if you look at Sharia, technically speaking, it's not even her responsibility to be doing household chores. If you really look into the Sharia, you'll find that now we know with a division of labor was unlikely she would be but it's not actually her responsibility. She has to take care of the children, she nurtures the children, she she she takes care of the mixture, the care that the children are standing on their feet. Okay, so really, these are the families that are the most successful. Also now what is happening, we need expertise in the Muslim community. We need to have
doctor female doctors. We need to have teachers we need to have a number of of professional jobs to be done by women. How are they going to get this knowledge? We don't have the ideal situation. And so under the law knows best and you may get different opinions on this. But if a woman is able to continue wearing her her Islamic dressing or clothing, she's covering herself she's able to make her a lot. She is not sacrificing her Deen as she is going out to do to do a study that is needed by the community not just to make money, then, you know with protection and you know and with support of the community.
We have been allowing the sisters to do this because we had the case of people who were saying
They did not want to visit the sisters to go out to University at all.
In the second breath, the brother said, I want a female doctor for my wife, I'm Muslim. So I said, Okay, brother, if you want a female Muslim doctor, who's supposed to learn this way you're going to get her from, if she doesn't go to the university to learn medicine, you see. So therefore, we have to use Hickman and we have to balance ourselves until we move towards the level where we have our own society, our own state, you know, then we then our division of labor, you know, can be easier for us, because we will have this type of setup. So we have to use wisdom when we are doing this. But in the event that a woman has to sacrifice redeem, then it is not worth going out to the cafe
alone. Because there are many problems that are happening on the jobs, sexual problems, even non Muslim women have been complaining about abuse, and *, and all types of things that are going on outside of the society, the men also need to consider covering their hours. And this is a problem that has happened in our community. And I see that it also could exist here, where the men are so particular about the women covering their outer, and then they bend down to make solid and assured his way up on the back. The pants are so tight, you can see their whole bodies. And you know, they are wearing any type of clothing that they want to wear. So covering up the outer and modesty and
lowering the gaze is for male and for female, concerning the government in Afghanistan. And in any part of the world. I would recommend that you get somebody from Afghanistan or somebody who's been in Afghanistan to answer this question for you. Because it is not fair for anybody to to make a comment about Muslims, if you don't have direct information.
You hear positive you hear negative? We used to say in America, though, that if the CNN, if those people in so called authority are against you, then you must be doing something right. You must be doing something right. So I would suggest for this question to be answered properly, we need to get somebody who's been inside the country, and really knows what is going on who can answer this this question properly. You'll notice that in terms of the war against Muslim women, I didn't go into details concerning what is happening with the West. Because I think it is very clear to us in terms of the media attacks, in terms of physical attacks in France and other parts of the world. What is
going on, we're seeing it all the time. But but the struggle of the internal Muslims, that is the one that we haven't really brought out into the open. And so I pray that Allah subhanaw taala would help us because, you know, as we say, in America, the cat is out the bag. And so we need to now deal with the situation and come away from denial, and try to stay as close as we can to the sum of the parts of the solemn. And we have to ask a lot of Forgive us, because we live in in as Mr. darphin we are living outside of the Islamic states. And we are in a state of weakness. And we have to ask the laws to make it easy for us that we can move closer and closer towards the Sharia
in terms of you know, that the praying of the women inside of the masjid
You know, this is a question that has come up. And a number of people asked about this. And we have in in South Africa and I don't know if it's here to there are some masters who don't even have a space for the women to pray inside. And really the process of themselves number of different IDs. Last time now only salco massagin will be you tahuna failed Levin or comma Colorado slam this rewire comes in many different ways do not prohibit women from coming to the masjid but their homes are better for them.
Now some scholars will just give you the second part of the Hadees and they say their homes are better for them. Okay, but it is saying don't prohibit them from coming to the masjid. Now, we don't have time to go into details on the classes can handle the details. But the key point is the apostle is the masjid or the basis is the masjid should have a place for women. And if there is peace in the land, if it is possible for them to come out they should be able to come out to to enter with their own entrance and to have a place in the masjid where they can pray. And especially in these countries, it is preferable for women to go sometimes to to to to the judge to hear the football to
come around Muslims because our homes that are no longer islands of Islam. That television that that one I beast inside of the house is actually making our homes like the like places of Kufa of disbelief. If however, there is fitna
if there is danger in the land if there is some for some evil
Which which can harm the to the faith of the women, or put them in danger, then it is permissible for the leadership to ask them to stay home. And we see this in the time of Omar up top, and you'll see it in some other points in Islamic history. But the basis is they should be allowed to go to the masjid. And if it's possible to have classes in the center, right, it is fairly peaceful, it seems to be fairly peaceful here in the city, then it is encouraged that there are as many activities for the sisters as possible, so they can be educated, and they can be part of the Islamic movement, and especially in Tao, our sisters should be trained in the dollar as well. Because if a woman accepts
Islam, like last night, who's going to teach her, the brothers, many brothers would like to teach her.
But the problem is,
that's where the shaitaan can come in. Right? That's dangerous. So she is she embraces Islam, if we have sisters who are trained, who know the Tao, who know, the fic, that she can be processed into Islam in the proper way, and she's protected instead of our knifes llamada be soon to be handling her on her first days within Islam.
Another question
is saying that
it is a female halifa possible and these are a little bit far away from the topic that I gave, but basically,
the Philippines is basically handled by by the by by men, and
it is a position that requires leading of slot and that requires the leadership of the male community as well as the female of the whole society to the focus of the society is on the leader. And so, you will find that, that the Football Hall basically made one of the conditions of the halifa is that he is male, also in terms of women involved in singing in the sheets, then then it is
the Islamic position that they should not be singing openly in public, if they are making statements you know, which does not have a voice that is a singing voice. Then Then in some cases there is allowed to be exchanged between male and female because it is reading such as something Islamic, or, you know, it is not dealing with, you know, singing and that changing of the voice. So it is the Islamic position for them not to be involved in that.
There's another question, which is dealing with a sister who whose husband is a revert and still new in the deen and he has fluctuations in his Eman. And she is unsure whether he will be a good strong Muslim or not.
What I would like to say
is that
being born a Muslim isn't necessarily the criteria of success in this world. In some countries, some people believe that if you're born in a Muslim family than your real Muslim, if you're not born in the Muslim family, then you sort of like in one day and out the other day, he man rises and falls. And all of us are subject to points where our demand is high points where he met Islam, the Sahaba rhodiola one image mine were not Muslims, who marble hot tub we used to drink alcohol and torture Muslims. But he became one of the greatest Muslims in Islamic history. And so therefore, it is not a criteria whether that person is born as a Muslim, whether he will be successful or good husband, he
has to be treated like anybody else. He has to be given the see how and if there is a continued problem with him. This is where the worldly comes in. The worldly in the marriage is not just to sign the contract and to give away his daughter or his sister or his niece or whatever it is the world he
should be watching that marriage that she's having a problem calling the will the
call and the email, call a counselor. Talk about it. The important issue one of the important ways of coming out of our problems today we need to discuss the problem. We need to establish Shura.
When we discuss the issues openly, we open up the book of Allah open up the solar powered solar solar users as the base and and deal openly. Don't hold things inside of yourself. Because when you hold it in yourself, this is when abuse comes. And this is when the shape time will be able to build up gives the person more strength to do evil because you don't stand up to that person. You have to stand up allow is the one who controls life and death. And the family members should remember when you give your daughter in marriage, you're not giving her away.
And as though she's dead she's gone. This is in Hinduism.
They put the dirt on the head, and they're gone. This is not our concept.
It continues on the relation continues on. And you have to protect them. If there is a system who has accepted Islam, it does not have a Wali, the prophet SAW them said assault on what he meant lava Lila, that the so tired of the authority, the ruler, or the people in authority in the area should assign people who are married to be the police for the sisters who are our new Muslims. This is a very important institution that must develop in the community to protect them. So the family plays a role after the marriage, there was one brother out came from the Sudan actually. And he said that in his village, when the man of his family what they used to do with the man was going to marry
somebody in their family. They bring him for dinner.
And then he sits down with the men, and she serves the food. Okay, so then he, his contact is made. Okay, so he sees her suit serve on the food, and he on the brothers and the father is there. After they're finished, and the agreement is made. Yes, he wants to marry her, yes, she wants to marry him, then the men take him and they beat him up.
Now, they don't break his bones, but they just give him a little force, right? They give him some force. And the father says, If you touch my daughter, this is what you're gonna get.
So he never forget,
never forgets for the rest of the marriage.
Western society tells us that polygamy in Islam is against the way of things, please explain this issue of jobs or design jobs of marrying more than one wife, a man marrying more than one wife, you know, is something which is maloom. The Dora it's something we should know, in Islam, it's based Allah subhanaw taala has made it permissible for a man to marry or for women. But the condition is justice, he must be able to do justice in the marriage. If he can't do justice, then he should only marry one. And so this is the basis in Islam. And this is not a point of discussion, whether is permissible or not. What is the point of discussion is whether the brothers are capable of doing it
or not. And in many cases, unfortunately, they're not capable. And abuse has happened within our community. But this should not deny those relationships that are really meaningful relationships, which are which you know, which are plural marriages, it is possible to have meaningful rate relationships. And we have to now move closer towards the Islamic model of things. At the same time, we have to be sensitive to to the problems of the society, the economic problems, the psychological problems, the cultural problems, before a move like that is made. This is where counselors come in. This is where marriage education comes in. What happens many times, we have the wrong concept of
marriage. When we go into the marriage, we also have our own cultures. And we expect certain things of a woman or a woman or a man in our cultures, but another culture, it may not be like this. So we have to have marriage counseling. And it would be important to establish a service with the people sit with the Imam or with somebody before they get married. And they're counseled before they actually go into the marriage. And and try to understand something about the culture of the person who you're married.
Is it permissible to take or give
a gift for a woman who is not a close or lift for a woman was not a close relative, alone in my car. The promises seldom said that if you're alone, if you go outside, you know, if a man and woman go outside together, then the third party is shaytan.
So whether you're in a car, or whether you're walking in the woods, whatever it is, the shaitaan can penetrate your car, even if it is a BMW,
he can penetrate.
So therefore you should not be alone. Don't be alone, always have the third party. When you're carrying somebody who's not Muslim, who was not within your your close relationship.
You mentioned that woman should have their own property in the case of separation to have their own here they will have 65% of the assets.
You know when when the divorce comes on. Now, this may be a problem because now there's a difference between the Sharia law and the law in the society. And what happens now another point which is very essential for success
in marriage, is that when we're being married, you should have in your contract should conditions. So you are allowed to write in certain conditions. And so what is what happens in some of our marriages is that the people wrote in the conditions that in the event of separation, our wealth would be divided up according to Islamic law. And so they put this with a lawyer as a conditional legal condition that they signed for an affidavit that they signed for, before they got married. And that was, you know, they were able to use that encounter. I'm not sure whether that is possible here. But it is something that needs to be explored with a lawyer.
Okay, there is another question that is saying, you said that one should not make a joke of divorce. What happens if a husband and wife act in a drama together?
In a scene, the husband divorces his wife, please? That's the first time I ever heard that.
Maybe this is Australia, it's allowable in Australia. So I'm
really tilaka. Serious, silica serious and I would even avoid in a drama.
Because the Hadith is say you say in joke, it's serious. So you know, if you know, have somebody else in that drama to be the one you say it's a lot. Don't even say it in joke. This is how serious that word is.
Another question is saying, How do you stand up against a government non Islamic who is starting a war against women wearing the veil? Are there any human rights associations, which Muslim women can refer to help in similar matters? Okay.
This is a problem that we're facing this is where unity is important. And there may be different approaches to Islam. There may be groups that emphasize different aspects of Islam. But we are all under Allison nujoma, then we should be able to at least unite and have a major umbrella of organizations, or moms who can come together and put the deal questions on the table,
and have unity for certain issues. And when it comes to any government attacking Muslims, the community needs to unite and go on the streets, have your own lawyers have your pressure groups, there is a group in America called care ca ai, R. And they are doing an excellent job in terms of if Muslims are having problems on the job. And this is an organization that has lawyers, it has public relations people. And so if for instance, there is a statement of discrimination against Islam at a factory, then the care will then contact you the head of the factory, and will complain to them, and will demand that those that statement be taken back. It will threaten court action, for
demonstration. And it is proven to be highly successful within the society. Because many times the reason why Muslims are under attack is because nobody will stand up for them. Nope, there's no organization to do that. So it is advisable for a defense organization to be set up, you know, where Muslims can have that type of protection. And it's a legal thing. It's an open thing. It's nothing that has to be hidden. It's not an underground terrorist group that's going to blow up the building, or anything like that. It's out front. Right? And it's very important to help our brothers and sisters.
It says brother, we have a problem when it comes to brothers taking their wives out. Can you comment on this issue? Well, you know, really, brothers should spend more time with their families. And I know it's nice to be with the boys and play ping pong and talk and you know, whatever it is, but really, it is a responsibility. It's a responsibility of the husband to spend some time with his wife and with his children. The prophet SAW Selim was the best example. Right? He used to run races with with his wife especially I used to really love Anna. He used to sew his own clothes. Can you sew brothers? The soul right used to sweep the floor right play with children be part of the house
and he was receiving revelation from above seven habits. And so if he can do that, why can't we spend time quality time? Put it into your schedule to spend quality time with your family and allow support Allah inshallah will give you a great reward.
Another question is saying My sister was informed of her divorce to a solicitor without her knowledge of a divorce and even without a previous problem
How come in Islamic How come in Islamic court and in Arabic country accepts this? Is this divorce Hello? Okay, um, this
is really something that needs to be handled all the details need to be handled but but the talaq I mean it should be you know said it is olufsen it is saying it and at least her while he, you know all of herself somebody should have heard this.
But really for the details of this, you really need to sit down with the mom, you have to really look at the situation and everything that is being involved.
It says I understand the concept of segregation, but should there be a wall so that sisters can even see the Imam in Juma you know, really, to be honest with you, in the time of the prophet SAW Selim, there was no physical barrier. That was the best generation because they had taqwa and self control. Now, according to the society, you know, some people would have you know, a complete wall. Some people would have a half one with a sister could see from the top she could see the Imam but but it covers the bottom right in the masjid, we had, we had a section where sisters could be totally separated. And we had another half one where if they sit down, they could see the mount but what
about the bottoms were covered? Okay, that that's one way out of it. In one Masjid, I was into I found out what the problem was. Because I was wondering, why are these brothers you know, you know, pushing this issue. We were in this place called the Jami mosque and the sister was somebody who's here from Toronto, knows what I'm talking she she's from the Jamia mosque. You see it tonight. And so the mosque was a church before and the brothers the sisters section was high up on the right, way up. Okay. And so the brothers, the gibbler is this way. So the brother said to me, brother, you got to put up a veil on top of that, cover it off. It's a fitna.
I said, Okay, it's a fitna.
The Kibler is that way, you're telling me that's a fitna, right. Then one day I came, I saw him sitting on the stairs, looking up at the system.
Okay, so the problem was, his Qibla was upstairs.
And secondly, he needs a veil on his own eyes.
That was a solution to his problem.
You see, so many times what we do we sort of like, you know, pass, we blame the the sisters for everything. Brothers, you need to lower your gaze, man, lower your gaze.
That's what we're supposed to do lower your gaze.
Now, the question is saying our brother, what character o'clock should we look for in a man to ensure we won't be oppressed by them after marriage.
It's important for the the Wali or somebody, whoever is responsible for the system to really sit down with this brother who was about to be married, and have discussions with him. And it is allowed with a chaperone or a third party, even for them to go somewhere and to talk, as long as somebody else's there once the intention is made. Now from country to country, it might vary. But some of the Sahaba You know, there's reports the Sahaba were even allowed to new one, he hid behind a tree, and he watched her, you know, cleaning and cooking and stuff like that. So some contact is allowed. But, um, you know, one of the one of the things that that we did, is that, you know, we had enough
discussions that we saw, we, the person who was the one he disagreed with, with the brother. And in disagreement, when he starts arguing with you, then you start to see something about his personality.
Because many people can be very nice and calm, and, but when you disagree with them, they change.
So, that needs to be checked out. The person's history needs to be checked out, right? And you can't just say, oh, martial arts, medical law, you know, he's here is so nice. And he says the Hadith so nice. You can't do that.
Because you don't know the person's background.
The prophet SAW Selim said, Elijah, la mina shaytaan. haste is from the devil. So therefore, you need to have,
you know, before you're getting married, he needs to check out the history of the male and the female even now, and I'm sorry to say it, we need to check out each other's medical history.
You have to take blood tests, unless you know that family completely, because unfortunately, with HIV being around, it's spreading all over the place. And I had a case this is a real case with a brother was out in the dunya. And he was you know, you know, playing around everything. And then he became Islamic.
And then he was telling everybody you know, your pants is too low and repeated and here he was the model Muslim brother now. Okay. And then he comes to me and he said brother Abdullah,
and he was a doctor. This is the fitness niche.
The test that he was under, he said, when I was out in society, I contracted genital herpes. He had herpes, okay, which is contagious? And he said,
but I want to get married? And should I tell my wife before I'm married?
So Brother, what are you gonna do? He's gonna, he's gonna go all the way and get her and she's just about ready to say I do. And he says, oh, by the way,
I happen to have a contagious disease. No, he has to, you know, on both sides, you need to be very clear and open with the medical history. And again, this is where the will lead comes in, to help in the marriage. It says we have lots of resources and organizations in Melbourne, how can we unite these organizations beyond diversity? And where should the Unity stop. And as I was saying, it's important for us to have, you know, some sort of measure this assurance that there are certain issues that affect the whole community, the analysis and the regimen, we need to be able to come together, even though there may be different emphasis that we have, we're all part of the same oma
part of the Mila. And we need to be able to overcome some of the minor differences and certain issues, that doesn't mean that we have to be together and everything. Because there are some groups that have that are more serious about Islam than others. But at some point, we have to realize that we are part of the same oma and a lot of those bests.
In terms of boys and girls, it being mixed in the classroom, really, you know,
when when the children are very young, what's generally happened Islamic schools and children are very young, especially like under seven years old or something, then some of the schools will mix with once they reach seven, and especially going up by eight, nine and 10. At that point, it should be a complete separation, it doesn't work. It doesn't work, especially when you're in the teenage phase of life, it does not work. And so the Islamic education, you know, is like that gives us the freedom of being in the classrooms and not have to deal with the physical changes that each gender is going through at that time. It says,
if your husband swears at your parents,
what does the religion say about that?
Or should you stay with him or not? Of course, he shouldn't be you know, doing that.
It's not necessarily mean, of course, we have to see the gravity of the situation. It's not necessarily grounds for divorce, but it's a serious problem, and a counselor should immediately come in.
because something is seriously What if he's disrespecting your parents? Then how can you respect the woman herself if he respects the parents, that she's part of the parents, and this concept of the woman or the man or the woman, especially, you know, when she's married, he owns her now. Like, he owns a horse. That's not Islamic. she's a she's a free individual. She has her rights under the law of Islam, and she has independence in Islam.
It says
Also,
my husband always argues about religion. If I get him a Hadith, he'll argue until I get him to prove Okay, it's nothing wrong with with him arguing, debating, of course, it shouldn't be an angry argument. Okay, but if he wants to de Lille, that's okay. There's nothing wrong with asking for the legal, but he should also
put himself in the position. If he says do something, then she could say, Can I have the legal?
Right, let me let me if that's what he's gonna do. For everything that you say. You see, one of the key issues in marriage is understanding.
If there's understanding between the individual you love each other for a law,
and not just because physical reasons, not just because we're in the same tribe, or he has a lot of money, or she has a lot of money, if you're in Islamic work, if you're praying together, and you have an understand you can overcome a lot of these problems. But if the marriage is based on material things on physical beauty, then the shaitaan has free rein to the household.
And so we all have to review our marriages and really try to come closer together. Two things together. islamically travel, you know, to O'Meara and Hodge together,
go to martial arts all together. witness what is happening to the Muslims do something in in organizations helping the children of Iraq or Afghanistan, two things together. islamically and then love will come in between you. If the if the relationship is only based on the dunya How much money did you make this week? Right? How pretty Do you look in the mirror and all these things then the shaytaan it we will easily have rain inside of your house.
It said My husband is married to another sister secretly
from
And people
secretly from me, and people, if he is a man, why didn't he tell me?
We have five children. We're on welfare. He's working part time.
Okay, really, you know,
technically speaking, it's not a condition of marriage, that he has to inform his first wife. However, it shouldn't be a secret marriage. Because in marriage, there is a plan. There is announcement. So it should be known it should not be a secret marriage. Why would he marry anyway secretly? Why is he doing that? So it is not Islamic, for him to be having a secret marriage, nobody supports secret marriages, it's not part of nikka and Islam. However, it isn't really a condition. It's not a condition for him to ask, you know, for his wife, Tu Tu, Tu, Tu, Tu agree, you know, when he marries another wife, however, it is the wisdom. It is the understanding of Islam, that he should
discuss this with his family, even discuss it with their family, or whatever, and, you know, have good reasons why he's doing that, if he's doing it secretly, that something must be wrong. And really, the Wali again should step in
to handle this problem.
In terms of that is a sister who knew somebody who recently was abused. And this is where I would advise you to contact the authorities, or those in the organizations who are dealing with the Islamic issues.
Okay, a lot of the questions are repeating themselves. It says
I'm a girl and I have one year from finishing school. I want to go back to my country and not to stay in this country. I came without without a Muslim before and I don't have one now, is it permissible? Okay, um, you know, it is if it is, you know, it is the Islamic way that she travels with the Muslim. Some cases, there is a type of Aurora
type of a type of necessity that happens, where she could be taken to the airplane by by somebody, and then the other people meet her on the other side of the airplane. However, it is, you know, the most preferable the Islamic way that that somebody from from the family should come to travel with her, when she travels back when she travels with maybe a group of sisters or something like this, that this is the preferable Islamic way, love Allah.
But one question is saying how to stop this type of social service organization that I was I was speaking about, and this hamdulillah in this community, from what I understand it has already begun. There are people who are doing counseling now, putting the mountains on their back, listening to the problems, and this is where professional people, if you're Muslim, you're a social worker, or you're a doctor or lawyer, you should contact the leadership in Islam and other organizations, give your give some of your time to the community,
some of the lawyers in our area or even give free counseling to some of the Muslims, okay, some of the doctors would even give free care to some of the Muslims, we have to, you know, dedicate some of our time to our community, because in many cases, it was the community to help you to get where you are. So professionals should come forward are to deal with these problems, you know, that are happening with with our, in our community.
Also, in terms of, of generally in the dollar.
I encourage that the brothers and sisters also to begin to, you know, in a in a, in an organized fashion, I know it's happening already, to try to work together has a lot of goofiness that has no science and they're coming out on the public. This tower needs to go open. And we need to have more programs in the open and go even into the reservations to the Aboriginal people. And to spread this this message to everywhere in this island in Sharla. The last point I wanted to make this was a very beautiful statement that the brother has said, and I wanted to end with this. And the brother said Salaam Alaikum. I am a man destined to change my ways. I have for too long thought wrongly about
women. They are the Jews of Islam. I asked for forgiveness and I promise to treat my wife as an equal. nothing more and nothing, nothing less. And hopefully, she won't use her Tai Chi on me.
And you know, he thanked the organizers for this session tonight. And I pray that Allah subhanaw taala would accept you in this statement that you have made male accept your towball for anything that has gone wrong, and May Allah forgive us off what
We are saying and what we are doing and bring us together as a community. May Allah have mercy upon this woman and protect the honor and dignity of the women of the home of Mohammed Salah Salaam. So particular one would be hum Deka lash Edwin La Ilaha. Illa, anta, the stock photo coda to bow Lake, WA Salaam wa Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
You mentioned that women should have their own property in the case of separation, to have their own here, they will have 65% of the assets.
You know, when when the divorce comes on? Now, this may be a problem, because now there's a difference between the Sharia law and the law in the society. And what happens now another point, which is very essential for success in marriage, is that when we're being married, you should have in your contract should root conditions. So you are allowed to write in certain conditions. And so what is that what happens in some of our marriages is that the people wrote in the conditions that in the event of separation, our wealth would be divided up according to Islamic law. And so they put this with a lawyer as a conditional legal condition, they signed for an affidavit that they signed
for, before they got married. And that was they were able to use that encounter. I'm not sure whether that is possible here. But it is something that needs to be explored with a lawyer.
Okay, there is another question that is saying, you said that one should not make a joke of divorce. What happens if a husband and wife act in a drama together?
In a scene, the husband divorces his wife, please? That's the first time I ever heard that.
Maybe this is Australia is allowable in Australia.
Really tilaka serious? tilaka serious. And I would even avoid in a drama.
Because the Hadith is say you say it and joke. It's serious. So you know if you know have somebody else in that drama to be the one you say it's a lot. Don't even say it in joke. This is how serious that word is.
Another question is saying, How do you stand up against a government non Islamic who is starting a war against women wearing the veil? Are there any human rights associations which Muslim women can refer to help in similar matters? Okay.
This is a problem that we're facing this is where unity is important. And there may be different approaches to Islam. There may be groups that emphasize different aspects of Islam. But we are all under Allison ojama, then we should be able to at least unite and have a major umbrella of organizations, or imaams, who can come together and put the deal questions on the table
and have unity for certain issues. And when it comes to any government attacking Muslims, the community needs to unite and go on the streets. Have your own lawyers have your pressure groups, there's a group in America called care ca ai, R. And they are doing an excellent job in terms of if Muslims are having problems on the job. And this is an organization that has lawyers, it has public relations people. And so if for instance, there is a statement of discrimination against Islam at a factory, then the care will then contact you the head of the factory and will complain to them, and will demand that those that statement be taken back. It will threaten court action, for
demonstration. And it is proven to be highly successful within the society. Because many times the reason why Muslims are under attack is because nobody will stand up for them. Nope, there's no organization to do that. So it is advisable for a defense organization to be set up, you know, where Muslims can have that type of protection. And it's a legal thing. It's an open thing. It's nothing that has to be hidden. It's not an underground terrorist group that's gonna blow up the building, or anything like that. It's out front. Right? It's very important to help our brothers and sisters.
It says brother, we have a problem when it comes to brothers taking their wives out. Can you comment on this issue? Well, you know, really, brothers should spend more time with their families. And I know it's nice to be with the boys and to play ping pong and talk and you know, whatever it is, but really, it is a responsibility. It's a responsibility of the husband to spend some time with his wife and with his children. The prophet SAW Selim was the best example. Right? He used to run races with with his wife, especially if she really low Ana. He used to sew his own clothes. Can you sew brothers? The soul right used to sweep the floor right play with children.
Be part of the house and he was receiving revelation from above seven habits. And so if he can do that, why can't we spend time? quality time? Put it into your schedule to spend quality time with your family and Allah subhanaw taala inshallah will give you a great reward
Another question is saying My sister was informed of her divorce to a solicitor without her knowledge of a divorce and even without a previous problem
How come and Islamic How come in Islamic court in Arabic country accepts this? Is this divorce holla Okay, um, this is really something that needs to be handled all of the details need to be handled, but but the talaq I mean that it should be you know, said it is a love said it is saying it and at least her worldly, you know, all of herself somebody should have heard this.
But really, for the details of this, you really need to sit down with the mom, you have to really look at the situation and in everything that is being involved.
It says I understand the concept of segregation, but should there be a wall so that sisters can even see the Imam in Juma? You know, really, to be honest with you, at the time of the prophet SAW Selim, there was no physical barrier. That was the best generation. Of course, they had taqwa and self control. Now, according to the society, you know, some people would have you know, a complete wall. Some people would have a half one with a sister could see from the top she could see the Imam but but it covers that the bottom right in the masjid, we had, we had a section where sisters could be totally separated. And we had another half one where if they sit down, they could see the amount but
what about the bottoms were covered? Okay, that that's one way out of it. In one Masjid, I was into I found out what the problem was. Because I was wondering, why are these brothers you know, you know, pushing this issue. We were in this place called the Jami mosque and the sister who's somebody who's here from Toronto, knows what I'm talking she she's from the Jamia mosque. You see it tonight. And so the mosque was a church before and the brothers the sisters section was high up on the right, way up. Okay. And so the brothers, the gibbler is this way. So the brother said to me, brother, you got to put up a veil on top of that, cover it off. It's a fitna.
I said, Okay, it's a fitna.
The Kibler is that way, you're telling me that's a fitna, right. Then one day I came, I saw him sitting on the stairs, looking up at the system.
Okay, so the problem was, his Qibla was upstairs.
And secondly, he needs a veil on his own eye.
That was a solution to his problem.
You see, so many times what we do, we sort of like, you know, past, we blamed the systems for everything. But as you do lower your gaze, man, lower your gaze.
That's what we're supposed to do lower your gaze.
Now, the question is saying, Brother, what character o'clock should we look for in a man to ensure we won't be oppressed by them after marriage.
It's important for the the Wali or somebody, whoever is responsible for the system to really sit down with this brother who's about to be married, and have discussions with him. And it is allowed with a chaperone or a third party, even for them to go somewhere and to talk, as long as somebody else's there once the intention is made. Now from country to country, it might vary. But some of the Sahaba You know, there's reports of the Sahaba were even allowed to new one, he hid behind a tree and he watched her, you know, cleaning and cooking and stuff like that. So, so some contact is allowed. But, um, you know, one of the one of the things that that we did, is that, you know, we had
enough discussions that we saw, we the person who was the one he disagreed with, with the brother, and in disagreement, when he starts arguing with you, then you start to see something about his personality.
Because many people can be very nice and calm and, but when you disagree with them, they change.
So, that needs to be checked out. The person's history needs to be checked out. Right? And you can't just say Oh, martial arts medical law. You know, he's here is so nice. And he says the Hadid so nice, you can't do that.
Because you don't know the person's background.
The prophet SAW Selim said a larger la mina shaytaan. haste is from the devil. So therefore you need to have you know, before you're getting
Marriage is the check out the history of the male and the female even now, and I'm sorry to say it, we need to check out each other's medical history.
You have to take blood tests, unless you know that family completely, because unfortunately, with HIV being around, it's spreading all over the place. And I had a case, this is a real case with a brother was out in the dunya. And he was, you know, you know, playing around everything. And then he became Islamic.
And then he was telling everybody, you know, your pants is too low, and you beat it. And here he was the model Muslim brother now, okay. And then he comes to me, and he said, Brother, Abdullah,
and he was a doctor. This is the fitness test that he was under. He said, when I was out in society, I contracted genital herpes. He had herpes, okay, which is contagious? And he said, um, but I want to get married? And should I tell my wife before I'm married?
So Brother, what are you gonna do? He's gonna, he's gonna go all the way and get her and she's just about ready to say I do. And he says, oh, by the way,
I happen to have a contagious disease. No, he has to be on both sides, you need to be very clear and open with the medical history. And again, this is where the will lead comes in, to help in the marriage. It says we have lots of resources and organizations in Melbourne. How can we unite these organizations beyond the diversity in wish of the Unity stuff. And as I was saying, it's important for us to have, you know, some sort of measureless assura. If there are certain issues that affect the whole community, then Allison or Gemma, we need to be able to come together, even though there may be different emphasis that we have. We're all part of the same oma, we're part of the Mila. And
we need to be able to overcome some of the minor differences and certain issues, that doesn't mean that we have to be together and everything. Because there are some groups that have that are more serious about Islam than others. But at some point, we have to realize that we are part of the same oma
and Allah knows best.
In terms of boys and girls, and being mixed in the classroom, really, you know, that when when the children are very young, what generally happened Islamic schools and children are very young, especially like under seven years old or something, then some of the schools will mix once they reach seven, and especially going up by eight, nine and 10. At that point, that should be a complete separation, it doesn't work. It doesn't work, especially when you're in the teenage phase of life. It does not work. And so the Islamic education, you know, is like that gives us the freedom of being the classrooms and not have to deal with the physical changes that that each gender is going through
at that time. It says,
if your husband swears at your parents,
what does the religion say about that?
Oh, should you stay with him or not? Of course, it shouldn't be, you know, doing that.
It's not necessarily I mean, of course, we have to see the gravity of the situation. It's not necessarily grounds for divorce, but it's a serious problem with a counselor should immediately come in.
because something is seriously What if he's disrespecting your parents? Then how can you respect the woman herself if he respects her parents, that she's part of the parents, and this concept of the woman or the man or the woman, especially, you know, when she's married, he owns her now. Like, he owns a horse. That's not Islamic. she's a she's a free individual. She has her rights under the law of Islam, and she has independence in Islam.
It says
Also,
my husband always argues about religion, if I get him a detailed argue until I get him the proof. Okay. It's nothing wrong with with him arguing, debating, of course, it shouldn't be an angry argument. Okay, but if he wants de Lille, that's okay. There's nothing wrong with asking for the Lille. But he should also
put himself in the position. If he says do something, then she could say, Can I have the legal?
Right, let me let me if that's what he's gonna do. For everything that you say. You see, one of the key issues in marriage is understanding.
If there is understanding between individuals, you love each other for a law.
And not just because physical reasons, not just because we're in the same tribe, or he has a lot of money or she has a lot of money. If you're in Islamic work. If you're praying together, and you have an understand you can overcome a lot of these problems. But if the marriage is based on material things on physical beauty, then the shaytaan has free reign to the household.
And so we all have to review our map.
edges, and really try to come closer together two things together islamically travel, you know, to john O'Meara and Hodge together,
go to martial arts all together, witness what is happening to the Muslims do something in in organizations helping the children of Iraq, or Afghanistan. Two things together islamically. And then love will come in between you. If the if the relationship was only based on hyouta dunya. How much money did you make this week? Right? How pretty Do you look in the mirror, and all these things, then the shaytaan it, we will easily have rain inside of your house.
It said My husband is married to another sister secretly
from me and people, if he secretly from me, and people, if he is a man, why didn't he tell me?
We have five children. Were on welfare. He's working part time.
Okay, really, you know,
technically speaking, it's not a condition of marriage, that he has to inform his first wife. However, it shouldn't be a secret marriage. Because in marriage, there is a LAN, there is announcement. So it should be known it should not be a secret marriage, why would he marry any way secretly? Why is he doing that? So it is not Islamic, for him to be having a secret marriage, nobody supports secret marriages, it's not part of nikka in Islam, however, it isn't really a condition, it's not a condition for him to ask, you know, to, for his wife, to, to, to, to to agree, you know, when he marries another wife, however, it is the wisdom. It is the understanding of Islam, that he
should discuss this with his family, even discuss it with their family, or whatever, and, you know, have good reasons why he's doing this. If he's doing it secretly, then something must be wrong. And really, the worldly again, should step in
to handle this problem.
In terms of the there's a sister who knew somebody who recently was abused, and this is where I would advise you to contact the authorities, or those in the organizations who are dealing with the Islamic issues.
Okay, a lot of the questions are repeating themselves. It says
I'm a girl and I have one year from finishing school. I want to go back to my country and not to stay in this country. I came without without a mountain before and I don't have one now, is it permissible? Okay, um, you know, it is if it is, you know, it is the Islamic way that that that she travels with the Muslim, some cases, there is a type of Aurora
type of a type of necessity that happens, where she could be taken to the airplane by somebody, and then the other people meet here on the other side of the airplane. However, it is, you know, the most preferable the Islamic way that that somebody from from the family should come to travel with her, when she travels back when she travels with maybe a group of sisters or something like this, that this is the preferable Islamic way, love Allah.
But one question is saying how to stop this type of social service organization that I was I was speaking about. And this is hunter law in this community, from what I understand it has already begun. There are people who are doing counseling now, putting the mountains on their back, listening to the problems, and this is where professional people, if you're Muslim, you're a social worker, or you're a doctor or lawyer, you should contact the leadership in esna. And other organizations, give your give some of your time to the community.
Some of the lawyers in our area, we even give free counseling to some of the Muslims, okay, some of the doctors would even give free care to some of the Muslims, we have to you know, dedicate some of our time to our community, because in many cases, it was the community to help you to get where you are. So professionals should come forward are to deal with these problems, you know, that are happening with with our, in our community.
Also, in terms of, of generally, in the dollar.
I encouraged that the brothers and sisters also to begin to, you know, in an organized fashion, I know it's happening already to try to work together the 100 of the group, in essence has you know, signs and they're coming out on the public. But this tower needs to go open. And we need to have more programs in the open and go even into the reservations to the Aboriginal people and to spread this this message to everywhere in this island in sha Allah. The last point I wanted to make. This was a very beautiful statement that the brother has said
I wanted to end with this. And the brother said Salaam Alaikum. I am a man destined to change my ways. I have for too long thought wrongly about women. They are the Jews of Islam. I asked for forgiveness and I promise to treat my wife as an equal, nothing more and nothing, nothing less. And hopefully, she won't use her Tai Chi on me.
And you know, he thanked the organizers for this session tonight. And I pray that Allah subhanaw taala would accept you in this statement that you have made me accept your towball for anything that has gone wrong. And May Allah forgive us off what we are saying and what we are doing and bring us together as a community. May Allah have mercy upon this woman and protect the honor and dignity of the women of the home of Mohammed Salah Salaam Subhana Allah who would become deca duchateau La ilaha illa Anta the stock photo Cora tubo Lake, WA Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh