Abdul Wahab Saleem – Are Love Marriages Halal?

			Are love marriages? Hello, this is a question that obviously everybody thinks about when they're
about to go through that process of marriage Am I allowed to fall in love with a woman or the man of
my dreams that I'm about to get married to this was no different at the time of the prophets of
salaam human beings are human beings as much as we tried to believe that the human beings at the
time of the Prophet were completely different. They're completely innocent in every which way, they
had no ability to emotionally attach themselves. The reality is that the human emotions, they have
been the same time immemorial, at the time of the Prophet to sell them as well. There were some
		

			scenarios where two men had come to a family as suitors. And this woman, she was invested
emotionally into one man. And the family felt that the other man is better for her. The other man
was a richer man, and the poor man was the one that the woman was invested into. And if you think
about it, this is one of those standard Bollywood film scenarios as well. Where you have a woman
she's in love with a man and then someone else comes in proposes to her and the family's like, Hey,
this guy, hair too poor, something is not going for him, we're not going to send you off with her
with him. But this one here, this one looks like the perfect match for you. So this exact same
		

			scenario is going on at the time of the prophets, Allah sent them. And they obviously raised this
issue to the Prophet sallallaahu. Selim, this is an orphan woman. And the family is very concerned
that guardians are worried the parents are not even here. So who should we marry this woman after
they described the scenario very carefully even think about that for a second, they describe every
aspect of the scenario they mentioned very clearly what he had done well, more Sir, she is desiring
the man who's poor was destitute, doesn't have money. So the prophets have sent them he replied back
and this is an authentic hadith, he said, Lim, you're a little more to have benei Mysterio Nikka.
		

			There's nothing better for two people who love one another, then getting married. The best thing
that you can do when you love someone is that you get married to them. Now, you may say, does that
mean love marriages? Or Helen? The answer is yes, essentially love marriages are halal. But what is
haram is if you crossed the boundaries of Allah azza wa jal, we can't cross the boundaries of Allah,
meaning you can't be in a room, a closed room, with a woman alone by yourself or a man alone by
yourself. If you're a female, that's not halal. You can't cross the boundaries of Allah in the sense
that you can't get touchy and feely with a person that you're not married to. You can't cross the
		

			boundaries of Allah that you start talking about things that you're not supposed to be talking
about. These are the boundaries of Allah. But can you fall in love with someone? The reality is Love
is a feeling you can't really do much about it. This woman, we expect that she's probably not doing
something haram. Okay, but literally, the Hadith says, well, he had to hold him or sit another dy
actually says, I have vet who she loves him. So she fell in love with this man. Love it first sight.
Some people believe it's not a reality. But I personally believe it is a reality because it's an
emotion. You might say, Oh, it's lust. But sometimes people can get different people have different
		

			emotional states as well, we have to understand that. Psychology doesn't work the same with every
single person. People have different minds, different abilities to comprehend information, different
ways they, they comprehend and receive things as well. So people can sometimes get emotionally
invested really fast. And the Prophet saw that this woman is emotionally invested in this man. And
so the prophets, I said, Lim gave her the right solution. And that is to respect her feelings, the
Prophet, respect the feelings of people, even if they happen to be feelings of love. For the
parents, I want to say something very important. If you force your children into a marriage, they're
		

			going to have feelings of resentment, and then you're going to regret it for the rest of your life.
They'll bring it up to you at times later on, within their lives. If something goes wrong, you're
going to take the brunt of the responsibility guide your children don't force them into their
decisions. If they have someone they love or respect what they want to do and give them guidance. No
one's saying don't give them guidance. That's what you're there for. But Don't force your decisions
upon your children. Because if you do, believe me, I deal with marriage and divorce cases all the
time. There's a lot of resentment that piles up over the years, this is not the person I want it,
		

			you're going to affect your relationship with your children, and the feelings of resentment will
develop and they will continue to grow. The second problem that's going to happen is that you're
going to be bringing a new person into the life of your child and your family. If you force that
decision, and the heart of your child is actually with someone many times that heart might turn away
from that some person far away in a galaxy far away, whatever it right, that heart might turn away
from that other person that they used to love. And now it's with this new person. But there's also
many times where the heart sticks with that old person that they loved. And because of that the
		

			feelings of resentment are there. So you've caused two problems. You've created a dysfunctional
relationship between yourself and your child, and you have gotten your child into a marriage that is
also dysfunctional, oftentimes, it may result into a divorce as well. So don't
		

			force your decisions upon your children give them guidance. If they're doing something completely
foolish, like they're bringing a drug addict for marriage, then you have to step in and say, hey,
look, this decision doesn't seem like an educated one. Let's think about this. Let's talk about it
and help them through that. And maybe even veto at that point, right if they're doing a completely
wrong decision. But if the decision is acceptable, there's nothing to really worry about. And just
because you have yourself invested into someone else, or you want it specific qualities for the
spouse of your child, you veto their decision and then they have resentment for the rest of their
		

			lives, that should not happen. Technically speaking, you should never have to veto the decision
because if you train your children well, throughout their development process, you've taught them
how to make decisions. When they come to a point when they're making this big decision within their
lives. They should already have the right processes in place in order for them to be able to make
the right decisions. That's what I want from you. If you're a parent, start working on teaching your
children how to make decisions. If you are a person who's looking to get married. Don't worry, fall
in love. Just keep it halal. Keep loving. Ask Allah subhanaw taala to grant you is love