AbdelRahman Murphy – Thirty & Up – Treasury Of Imam Al-Ghazali #9
AI: Summary ©
The conversation covers topics related to marriage, including physical satisfaction, family members, and desire for status and family members. The speakers also discuss the importance of deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership, deership
AI: Summary ©
Okay, salamu alaykum, okay, bismillah, bismillah walhamdulillah, wa
salatu wassalamu ala rasulillah wa ala alihi wa
ashabihi ajma'in.
Welcome home everybody.
It's good to see you alhamdulillah.
Tonight, just to let you know, tonight we
have a short session.
It's the last one in the next week
inshallah.
We're gonna be starting after maghrib.
So tonight maghrib comes in around 7.30,
7.32. We're gonna be going over for
prayer at 7.40 because prayer time is
gonna be at 7.43 inshallah.
And then next week when maghrib slides even
further, earlier in the hour, the seven o
'clock hour, we'll just be starting inshallah after
the maghrib prayer.
So this is kind of like that every
year in October or September, sorry, we go
through this transition of time.
So it's kind of one or two weeks
where we have a shortened halaqah.
But inshallah, we can still find some benefit.
And tonight's session is actually Allah Ta'ala,
He protected me and He gifted me.
Because tonight's session, the shortest one of the
year, is on marriage.
So He protected me because He knew that,
you know, this is gonna be one that
could go pretty long.
But subhanAllah, I was actually just speaking with
Shaykh Abdul Nasser about this.
We just were discussing kind of like the
notes that I put together in the the
writing that or the passage that Dr. Mustafa
chose from the Ihya.
And I think it's really phenomenal.
I think it's incredible.
And Shaykh Abdul Nasser's reflection was very helpful.
So I want to share it with everybody
inshallah.
As always, if you want to go to
slido.com, you can go and questions, you
can ask them at 30 and up.
If you type 30 and up, the whole
word or the whole phrase inshallah.
So let's begin.
Bismillah.
So the section is called, it's chapter number
9 on the book.
It's called the merits of marriage, the merits
of marriage.
Now many of us have you know, attended,
you know, weddings or nikah ceremonies.
We've all heard the verses that are recited
with regards to the purpose that Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala ordained marriage.
Okay, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in the
Quran, He explains to us, وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ
خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ
بَيْنَكُم مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَةٍ لِقَوْمٍ
يَتَفَكَّرُونَ That He says that Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala instituted from His signs, from His
divine signs that He created spouses from amongst
yourselves so that you could find peace and
tranquility in one another and that you could
exemplify and show each other this unconditional love
and mercy and Allah ta'ala says in
that there are signs for those who are
people of thought and of intellect thoughtful intellect
so marriage no doubt is a very very
intriguing topic you know if we wanted to
have a talk where we filled the hall
we would have a talk on marriage and
it's there's no doubt it's because it's something
that naturally as Allah stated we find it
within ourselves it's something that we desire right
to have that companionship and that relationship and
interestingly subhanallah the ayah does not refer to
a lot of the other things that we
talk about when we talk about marriage people
talk about marriage you know you know for
physical satisfaction for status for family uh uh
you know family uniting two families and tribes
etc they talk about all these tertiary benefits
to getting married when Allah talks about marriage
in the quran and the reason why he
instituted it he created it as an institution
he mentions for two reasons so you can
experience tranquility sakina and so that you can
impart upon the person that you're married to
this mawadda and this rahma this unconditional love
and this mercy so imam he says in
his yeah when he talks about marriage he
says so
he says no that when it comes to
marriage when it comes to this concept of
should a person get married or should they
not get married he says that some of
the scholars he says they differed about the
virtue of getting married and he says some
of them they proposed that getting married for
a person is better than that person withdrawing
away from like society and socializing and becoming
a like an ascetic worshiper of allah like
withdrawing away and becoming an individual that just
spends her life worshiping allah they said for
some people marriage is better than that meaning
what if you imagine like on the ranking
of things you could do in your life
that would be good obviously like taking a
sabbatical and worshiping allah like pulling yourself out
of the distraction of the dunya the material
world and just focusing on your prayers and
your dua and your salah like there's no
doubt that would be great but he's saying
some scholars argue and they propose that getting
married is better than that and then he
says he says and other scholars they
acknowledge that marriage has a lot of merit
and a lot of benefit but they say
that's for certain individuals for some people it's
better for these people to instead focus on
worshiping allah pulling themselves away from the distractions
and worshiping allah and then he continues by
saying essentially i'll summarize it because we don't
have a ton of time he says that
this matter is a matter that it differs
depending on the type of person that you
are when you look at marriage in islam
there are five categories that a person's that
could fall into a person's definitive status when
it comes to marriage we all know these
words before have you guys ever heard the
word haram okay i'm this you guys i
need you to respond with your trauma from
growing up you've heard the word haram before
yeah we've all heard the word haram okay
we've heard the word makruh okay haram means
impermissible makruh means disliked but not sinful yet
okay mubah means permissible something that is okay
it's not necessarily uh uh praiseworthy nor rewarded
but it's also not impermissible it's okay it's
fine right like eating an apple is permissible
okay and then there's mustahab or we know
it better as like sunnah something that is
not an obligation but it's rewarded if you
do it so for example if i get
up and pray my sunnah after maghrib my
two rakah nafl that's considered a rewarded action
but i'm not sinned if i don't do
it and then of course on the other
side of it there is obligatory wajib okay
marriage is one of those things are you
ready for this i need everyone to put
on their floaties we're about to get deep
here marriage is one of those things that
depending on the person can fall into one
of those five categories it's not static think
about salah prayer does prayer ever move from
one category what is prayer it's the first
one it's wajib right you have to do
it there's what if i'm sick okay well
can you sit and pray no i have
to lay down okay go ahead what if
i'm traveling well you have okay then you
can either pray now or you can combine
and you can shorten what if i miss
it well you have to make it up
prayer there's no moving of the hukum of
prayer it's always an obligation and shahab al
-nasser mentioned this point and i thought it
was so profound it's like allah sent him
to me before the halaqa to give me
this point and then he just left all
right he said this point that i thought
was so amazing he said there's a great
scholar named shah wali allah who said that
whenever allah wanted to display the absolute definitiveness
of something he made the ruling of it
definitive as well prayer is definitive because it
never moves from obligation but he said marriage
is an example of something that is not
a preconceived guarantee for every person marriage moves
because every person is at a different readiness
and status and awareness and availability in their
life and so for some people it's an
obligation and for some people it's actually impermissible
for them to get married right who would
be impermissible get married for we'll talk about
that somebody that is not mentally emotionally financially
they're incapable and thus entering into a marriage
contract they would inevitably oppress the person that
they're marrying if a person knows that they're
not ready to be in a partnership a
companionship and they know that as a result
of that they're going to commit an oppression
or transgress somebody's rights marriage is impermissible for
them right so islam is so powerful subhanallah
so unique so beautiful because it addresses the
differences between each human being and as much
as people celebrate the idea and the aspiration
and the hope of getting married one of
the things that we sort of skip over
on the pathway of talking about this conversation
is the readiness and the ability to be
ready for this major commitment you know beyond
the shadi beyond the the farah beyond the
walima beyond all of that there is a
a deep deep level of responsibility and accountability
that every person who gets married has to
understand and everyone who's married in this room
i see you kind of like nodding slowly
all right this isn't group therapy but it's
an important step to realize something and that
is that allah subhanahu wa ta'ala he
made marriage something that is so beautiful if
done correctly but a person if they're not
ready to do it correctly it can be
one of the most destructive things in their
life and all of the ability to execute
on that relationship properly or improperly is done
with a person's own readiness when they are
actually not married i'll give you an example
somebody who wants to get married but is
not married needs to look no further than
their own life about their readiness to get
married i've sat with guys and i've sat
with sisters who have expressed to me a
deep interest in getting married and the first
question i asked them is what time did
you get this morning and many of them
right answer in a way that i say
look this type of pattern of behavior this
type of of way of living your life
of carrying yourself if allah were to answer
your prayers right now and send that person
to you right now it would be destroyed
instantaneously you and that person would not work
because there are certain prerequisites individual prerequisites that
are necessary in order for a person to
be able to entertain a harmonious marriage you
speak to somebody and you say hey how's
your how's your temper how's your patience they
say bad i'm hot-blooded i can't wait
to get married that's not going to solve
that and i think sometimes subhanallah marriage is
proposed or is put in the eyes of
people as if it's like a cure-all
oh you're feeling this you're feeling that you're
going to get married and some people may
allah protect us they force their family members
their children or their spouse or whoever their
siblings sorry to get married knowing that they
are ill equipped and thinking oh if he
just gets a wife she'll fix him oh
if she just gets married i one time
wallahi i sat with a an auntie and
she said i just need to marry her
off it'll fix her and i i wallahi
in my heart i said this is you
know we're going to be sitting here across
the table next year the exact same except
it's going to be a complete different conversation
the marriage didn't work so imam ghazali one
thing i love about this passage and dr
mustafa you know he he writes about this
in his analysis he says that there's no
doubt that marriage is a good thing there's
no doubt marriage is a beautiful thing the
prophet said nikah is from my way of
life anything that he did cannot be bad
so he's saying it's good and dr mustafa
says it is the path of the prophet
to get married the prophet himself said if
somebody does get married then it effectively fulfills
half of their deen you guys ever heard
this before it's a brand even half our
dean.com right but you know what's interesting
subhanallah again this is one of those things
that like because branding is so magical do
you know why it's considered half of someone's
deen have you ever thought about that what
does that mean does that mean that you're
not a full muslim like you could live
your entire life practicing all of your five
pillars and you're not a real muslim because
you're not married that would make a lot
of people in this room not full muslims
like and that's not and that's not a
shot but think about how that doesn't make
sense is it possible for a person to
be a full complete muslim and not be
married yes absolutely were there people in life
scholars of islam who never got married yes
it's true would you ever say that say
that mariam alayhis salaam is like not a
true believer in god because she wasn't no
of course not you would never say that
so half of our deen when the hadith
mentions that a person completes their deen the
scholars say that this is specifically in regards
to what their practical ability to take care
of their responsibilities that if you look at
the entirety of islam half of the rulings
that apply to a person have to do
with their relationship with their family how do
i treat my spouse how do i treat
my kids how do i raise them and
all of that genre of questions and opportunity
is closed off until a person gets married
so that's what it means a person should
not feel like they're spiritually deprived if they're
not married no in fact marriage opens up
the door to more responsibility spiritually than people
realize so he says getting married is considered
that one has fulfilled one half of one's
religion but there has to be a correlation
he says between marriage and spirituality and this
is why imam ghazali mentions that those scholars
who thought of marriage as preferred action in
comparison to worshipping allah are differing than the
other scholars who reverse the order nevertheless he
says marriage is beneficial as it shields people
from wrongdoing when going hand in hand with
the religious teachings of their faith for both
men and women it avoids them from falling
into temptation the prophet would advise people to
get married if they could afford it otherwise
he would encourage them to fast to be
able to temper their desires the prophet he
even said that marriage is part of his
sunnah and that he forbade one of the
companions from practicing celibacy so i know sometimes
people say you know what getting married is
too tough i'm just gonna be single for
the rest of my life the prophet said
you can't do that you can't do that
but what you have to do is understand
that in every step of your life with
regards to marriage whether you're single looking engaged
or talking engaged married been married for a
day been married for a year been married
for a decade been married for 16 years
like hamdullah myself been married for a while
every single element of your life is affected
by this conversation of marriage and many of
the people that are in marriages that struggle
or that end up not working may allah
protect us and give patience to those who
have been in those some of the issues
pertain to their inability to prepare themselves individually
before embarking on that so let's look a
little bit at some of the ayats before
we jump to the q and a to
talk a little bit about it okay the
prophet he said that destruction when he was
talking about this this hadith feels like it's
going to be like one subject and another
one they're actually all combined he says that
right you guys may have heard this this
word it means destruction so he said he
says destruction is found in gold and silver
this means what chasing wealth is one of
the pathways for a person to destroy themselves
if they put a material wealth at the
top of their list priority wise they'll sacrifice
everything they'll sacrifice their morals they'll sacrifice their
relationships you know anybody who can be bought
is somebody that sells out quite frequently and
so he says here that if you make
money the the object of your desire doesn't
mean that money is bad in and of
itself but if you make it something that
you worship that you it adorns everything in
your life it's not good for you okay
so then he said see this is one
of the best things about having companions who
ask questions so Omar is there he says
you you just said that gold and silver
are things that lead to destruction and he's
like I agree you know Omar is not
challenging him I agree but then he says
what do we do to work then like
how do we how do we pay our
bills like what do you think we should
work for in life what should our goal
be if our goal should not be money
and gold and silver what should our goal
be listen to what the prophet sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam says he says number one a
tongue that is frequently remembering of Allah number
two he says and a heart that frequently
is grateful to Allah and then he says
and a spouse that encourages you toward the
afterlife so this hadith again it starts off
kind of in one area and then it
ends in a complete different area the prophet
isaah is talking about the danger of being
addicted to wealth and it ends by him
talking about what are the things that will
help you be successful in the akhirah the
first thing he says is what individually a
person who remembers Allah frequently and a heart
that is grateful to Allah and then he
says the scholars say if a person wants
a spouse that's going to help them to
the akhirah you guys ready for this are
your floaties on if you want a spouse
that's going to help you to the akhirah
did the prophet start with that one first
or did he end with that one what
was the order again a tongue that's remembering
of God a heart that is grateful to
God and a spouse that encourages you the
akhirah one two and three the scholars of
hadith say lists are never accidents if you
want to have a spouse that takes care
of your heart and pushes you to you
have to be a person that qualifies to
even marry that spouse to begin with and
what are the qualifications if a person doesn't
have a tongue that remembers Allah and a
heart that is grateful to Allah then how
on earth do you expect to find someone
that's going to help you get to akhirah
it's not it's not rocket science but many
of us we delude ourselves into thinking you
know what i will achieve all of that
when i get there no no no if
a person wants to be successful in their
pursuit of finding someone that will bring them
closer to Allah they have to first prove
it before they even know that that person
exists you see the wisdom of the prophet
he's effectively saying if you want to have
a good marriage you have to be good
before marriage if you're not good before marriage
marriage will not be the thing that turns
you into a good person it only highlights
what's already there and Allah taught to give
us this the next thing the prophet says
i'll give you another hadith that i think
is interesting to share the prophet very famously
said that a person here he said a
woman but a person is married for four
reasons you guys heard this one before this
one is kind of well known usually when
someone's getting the talk from their parents first
he says a person is married or a
woman in this case he's talking about women
specifically but either side he says is married
for their uh physical attractiveness and then they
are married for their uh their status financially
and then they are married for their family
and then they are married for their religion
these are four reasons he's not saying that
they should follow these four he's saying that
when you look at the scope of what
people look at they look at these four
categories what's the physical attractiveness what's their financial
well-being or their family's financial what's their
family situation what's the lineage the tribe etc
where are they from and religion spirituality their
deen and then he finishes the hadith by
saying marry the person for their faith and
you will have been the successful one if
you choose religion as the reason why you
are impressed by someone now think about it
what are the reasons why people get married
he mentioned them the first four and then
he says if you marry for the purpose
of a person's spirituality their faith you will
have found that that decision will have been
a successful decision it doesn't mean that the
other three things are not important but it's
asking you the question what do you prioritize
there are many people that prioritize physical appearance
okay there are many people that prioritize financial
status there are many that prioritize family position
name where they come from what tribe what
country what city what village all of these
things the prophet did not make it impermissible
he didn't say look you can't look at
these things don't look at those things but
he said what he said if you look
at the religion of somebody and here we're
not talking about only the religion that you
mark off beard fist length okay check right
dopey matches shirt okay check i know you
guys noticed the drip okay all these things
check that's not the religion he's talking about
he's talking about what he says what in
the mabuh is doing it would tell i
was only set to perfected character dean is
a reflection of a person's practical behavior how
do you know someone's a good muslim there
are physical rituals that you look at but
there's also the way they carry themselves do
they get angry easily do they are they
generous with their time and their wealth are
they soft-spoken look at the prophet does
this person have any traits that remind me
of the messenger of allah if those traits
are there then this dean this this category
the prophet is advising that's there but i
will say this and this is very very
important and this is kind of the one
thing that i don't think anyone wants to
say out loud but i've been married 16
years so i'll just say it all the
other categories are changeable the dean thing is
really hard to change it's really it's not
impossible but it's hard a person can always
like make more money a person can always
get more attractive i've always said with money
and a gym membership people can change a
new wardrobe and a workout routine personal trainer
like you know it's possible right did you
guys ever see that meme i wasn't i'm
not ugly i'm just poor and they show
you the celebrities that became like better looking
as i got it's true right a person's
family thing like you're not it's not that
invasive into your life but the dean thing
is so difficult subhanallah because that stuff is
like embedded it's integrated it's like flowing in
their fabric and have you guys ever seen
how difficult it is for like a person
who stitches a tailor to change something to
un sometimes they'll look at the shirt and
they'll say i can't fix it and there
are many people out there that because they
didn't focus on their spiritual development at the
right time they focus on all the other
three things attractiveness family wealth status etc and
then they say you know what i'll work
on the dean side when i get there
you can't change it's not a light switch
and so these topics that the prophet brought
before us we're wondering why there's a marriage
crisis today the reason why quite frankly is
because we have our priorities flipped and it's
important for us to reframe how we look
at them by the way i know that
all the people who are not married think
i'm picking on you i'm not if people
who are married are struggling in their marriages
ask yourself the same questions you know what
is the thing that is keeping us together
anytime i look at a couple that's successful
and i'm that guy that's kind of not
nosy but i'm a little bit like i
like to interview i see couples and i'm
like hey you guys look happy they're like
we are i'm like why not because i'm
you know but i'm just curious you know
as like a community anthropologist i'm like just
you know and and wallah al-azim like
they always have some story some thing that
ties them together that is related to quran
and the life of the prophet you know
oh i heard a narration once where the
prophet said this or i heard in the
quran allah tells us to be patient so
i and that's what makes their whole relationship
work but but if if you chose to
be with somebody for any of those other
three reasons it's so flighty it's so light
it's it can disappear in a second the
person who was rich becomes poor and you
know hey what happened to the money the
person who was attractive is no longer attractive
we all get old look everyone's really beautiful
until you until you see them sleeping all
right and then they're just that's who they
are okay and then you think the family's
perfect and then you meet the uncle at
the dow it's and you're like that uncle's
crazy all right and then they're like that's
my favorite uncle and you're like oops you
know and and that's but the deen thing
is the one thing that's how a lot
of people focus on that it keeps them
together a couple more ayats and then we'll
go to the q a inshallah which i
know is going to be so regulated tonight
okay we already mentioned the ayah from surah
room where says think about it this way
one of my teachers something really powerful about
this verse he actually said this at a
nikah which is really funny he said um
if you don't bring sakinah to the life
to your own life and the life of
those around you what makes you think you're
going to bring it to the person you're
marrying allah made you so that you can
bring sakina to the life of this one
companion but he gives you practice tests along
the way if a person does not bring
sakina to the life of their family and
friends they will most likely not be able
to give you sakina it's just a reality
right people tend to be an amalgamation of
their character traits they can't suddenly switch so
if you're thinking about your life and getting
married please please ask yourself this question am
i a person that brings tranquility into the
lives of those around me it doesn't have
to be everybody but ask yourself about the
really close relationships your family your close friends
those people that you see every single day
those people that you have a close tie
with do you bring sakina to their life
as a result of that sakina you will
find a lot of marriages there's no there's
no there's no love and mercy because the
first precondition is not met how can you
expect someone to be unconditionally loving and merciful
when you bring chaos into the home love
and mercy are the fruits of a plant
that can only grow when there's tranquility when
there is no chaos but a person is
sitting in a home that's full of chaos
and they say you know what if only
this person loved me if only this person
was merciful to me but you're not contributing
to the tranquility you got to figure out
a way to get there may allah ta
'ala give us tawfiq and then the next
verse subhanallah that we'll talk about is in
surah al-a'raf allah subhana wa ta
'ala no actually we'll go to this one
surah al-baqarah verse number 187 it's a
long verse where allah describes the nature and
the permissibility of relationships between spouses and then
he says this very famous line in the
middle of the verse he says he
says that they are a a garment for
you and you are a garment for them
allah subhana wa ta'ala mentions this here
in the middle of the verse sorry he
says allah subhana wa ta'ala here is
equating the relationship status that a person has
in their marriage to the function of a
garment that a person wears when a person
wears a garment the garment that you're wearing
right now there's a function to that garment
no matter what we say obviously you all
want to look nice but the primary function
of the garment that we wear is protection
we wear this to protect ourselves physical protection
but also social protection nobody wants to appear
unclothed in front of anybody else it's embarrassing
and then on top of that you want
to have physical protection from the elements so
if it's raining outside you wear like a
rain jacket right if it's cold you wear
inshallah it gets cold soon yarab if it's
cold you wear like a thicker coat okay
so all of these are forms of protection
before adornment there's protection it's interesting that allah
subhana wa ta'ala uses the word libas
right clothing or garment to describe marital relations
because in our mind we want marriage to
be something beautiful before it's functional and this
is kind of like the hyper romanticizing of
marriage when we think of marriage we think
of the more romantic aspects of it oh
this person is going to propose i always
think it's really funny when muslims propose to
each other because it's like you kind of
had it already have known right um like
i'm waiting i'm still waiting for the guy
down on one knee with roses to her
dad like uncle is it okay and then
he's like yes and then so all of
these shall license all of these are romantic
ideals of marriage but notice that before we
think about the aesthetic impact of clothing we
always focus on the actual impact of it
does it function as a shirt before it
looks good and if it looks good but
it doesn't close it doesn't actually close then
i'm not going to wear it many marriages
we focus a lot on the aesthetic of
it on what it might look like or
what it might appear to others to be
like but we don't focus on how it
feels and what it actually does and because
we have not thought about those questions we
look all for the aesthetic qualifications and we
move forward and then when we get too
far in we say man i'm not really
feeling as if this is providing me protection
it's not serving its purpose it's not clothing
me right it looks good looks fancy but
it's not clothing me and so the scholars
they write a long bit actually in this
tafsir it's very long they talk about the
function of libas and they say that if
every marriage were to function like clothing functions
on a person that both spouses would find
tranquility in one another to protect one another
to guard each other from the elements to
hide nobody wears clothing that looks bad right
to hide the deficiencies and vulnerabilities right we
all want to wear clothes that highlight and
accentuate our best features right and so that's
what a spouse should do for the other
spouse they should protect and highlight and and
accentuate the best side of this person you
know i have a rule and for those
of you who are married listen up i'm
at the point now in my life where
i no longer worry about saying things i
think we call that an uncle i'm an
uncle okay if you have friends that speak
poorly to you not seeking advice but speak
poorly to you in front of you and
other people about their spouses you got to
reconsider that friendship guys and ladies if you
get if you get together and all the
wives are talking about how bad their husbands
are same with the guys not not okay
by the way you can back you cannot
backbiting still is sinful against your spouse and
one of my teachers subhanallah may Allah preserve
him he said the most beautiful thing he
said number one you're not fulfilling the verse
itself the verse is that you're supposed to
be a protection you're not supposed to be
an embarrassment number two he says when you
share negative aspects about your spouse to your
friends you go home that night you wake
up the next day and you've forgiven each
other but guess who hasn't forgiven your spouse
the 10 guys or 10 girls that you
talk to about them they remember that and
they are forming their assessment and judgment of
this person and just because you were overwhelmed
in that moment and you shared too much
you now have given these people who don't
know your spouse they don't know any of
the good beautiful things that they do the
intricate mercies that they display all the things
all they know is what oh i can't
stand when she does that oh i can't
stand when he does that and in their
mind they just get the one-star reviews
of your husband or of your wife they
get a couple one-star reviews they think
this place is not worth it they don't
get the millions of five-star reviews that
this person displays every single day some four
-star some some three okay so this ayah
as much as it sounds like just a
metaphor there's a beautiful meaning here and if
you are not a person who thinks that
you can do this then marriage might not
be ready for you yet right maybe allah
ta'ala is giving you time to work
on that to be able to hold your
tongue if you backbite all of your friends
you might backbite your spouse too so allah
gives us the practice for these things before
we get to that point there's a few
other verses but the time for maghrib is
is coming now in a few minutes so
i want to dismiss while we're uh able
to make the prayer time inshallah in short
i want to share this imam ghazali includes
this topic on marriage because it is a
reality of life but he does say and
he does qualify that a person should only
get married if they deem themselves fit and
able and ready to get married and those
qualifications the taught to us allah ta'ala
gave to us may allah ta'ala make
it easy for us to be those who
are righteous spouses may allah ta'ala give
for those who are looking righteous relationships may
allah ta'ala give to those who have
beautiful pious moments in their marriages if
i could ask for those who sat on
chairs to help us out inshallah just because
maghrib is going to start just momentarily so
if we can go ahead and take the
chairs uh out to the hallway or in
that hallway there's the dollies there and then
also for the backjacks if you'd help us
by stacking them in the front and then
we'll head to the musalla for maghrib