AbdelRahman Murphy – Thirty & Up Spiritual Development For Adults
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AI: Transcript ©
As-salamu alaykum.
Bismillah.
Bismillah walhamdulillah wa salatu wa salamu ala Rasulullahi
wa ala alihi wa as'habihi ajma'in.
How's everybody?
Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.
InshaAllah we're going to be going forward and
continuing on with the chapter that we were
reading, which is becoming one of my favorite
chapters actually.
It's the chapter that Abdullah ibn Mubarak, he
has on the small good deeds that lead
to big rewards.
So small good deeds that are more than
what meets the eye.
And as long as the heart is sound,
the argument or the proposal that he's making
is that as long as the person's heart
is sound, when they do these deeds, even
though the deeds are not that much in
terms of the actual investment of energy or
money or whatever it might be, these deeds
multiply because the heart that is behind the
deed is so pure.
And the greatness of the deed is magnified
by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
So last week we spoke about, again, some
things that we would take for granted, that
we would just think are normal.
And he mentioned the specific status of a
person that loves somebody for the sake of
Allah alone, friends that see each other for
the sake of Allah alone.
He talked about how some of these people
that do these deeds, he described them, sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam, as on the Day of
Judgment having like the most incredible VIP status
on the Day of Judgment, that they'll be
given these pulpits of light and they'll be
given these elite elect positions on the Day
of Judgment.
When everybody is wondering about where they're going
to be and where they'll end up, these
people will be given this special status with
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And another narration said that they would be
given shade on a day when there's no
other shade, on a day when there's no
other rest from the trials of that day.
People who simply loved each other for the
sake of Allah will be given a unique
status for one another, or for loving one
another.
Okay, now, the next deed, so he lists
a few more in the chapter and we'll
go over them inshallah here.
And well, before we start the next one,
let's talk a little bit about what is
at stake and what could potentially break a
relationship of two people that love each other
for the sake of Allah.
Remember we talked about this last week, just
to remind everybody, when you love someone for
the sake of Allah, if you tell someone,
I love you only for the sake of
Allah, it's not an insult.
It doesn't mean like, oh, I hate you
otherwise, but I love you because of Allah.
No, it's, I love you and the love
that I have for you, despite the many
other reasons that I could love a person,
right?
Because we're from the same city, because we
enjoy the same hobbies, because we have the
same style, the same sense.
All of those reasons are reasons that you
could love somebody.
But the highest reason is to love someone
simply because the thing that you share is
la ilaha illallah.
And that's why believers are so powerful, because
you stand in line to pray next to
people and some of those people touch your
pinky toe with their pinky toe, you know,
and they do that only because you both
share the same belief in Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
That's love for the sake of Allah.
So when you love someone for the sake
of Allah, it means no matter what reason
I have to love you or to not
love you, because it's also possible that I
have reasons to not love you, right?
Like a lot of the Dallas fans, if
you're an NBA fan and you're a Dallas
fan, you probably have feelings towards the Minnesota
fans right now, right?
The playoffs are here and Dallas is playing
Minnesota, so it's natural, right?
Dallas and Houston, right?
When people tell me that they moved to
Dallas from Houston, I say Allah has saved
you from Houston, right?
So, you know, but I still love them
because they're Muslim, right?
Allah gave them this blessing to be Muslim
even though they live in Houston.
I'm joking.
No, astaghfirullah.
You get the point though.
There's many reasons why we could draw lines
between each other, but we don't because we
know that Allah wants us to love each
other.
So when you do have that relationship and
when you do have that friendship, you don't
want to lose it.
And one of the things that can cause
the disruption in relationships between people, like friendships,
is mentioned here.
The Prophet ﷺ, he says, مَا تَوَادَ مِنْ
إِثْنَيْنِ فِي الْإِسْلَامِ فَيُفَرِّقُ بَيْنَهُمَا أَوَّلُ مِنْ ذَنْبٍ
يُحَدِّثُهُ أَحَدُهُمَا He says that when two people,
as a result of their love for the
sake of Allah for one another, when they
become close and they become friends, he says
that the thing that will be the source
of their eventual breaking apart, the only thing
that can break two people apart when they
are close for the sake of Allah is
something between them and usually it's the first
one of them who commits a sin against
the other one.
So what's mentioned here is general, like a
sin, but I want you to think about
what could be in a relationship like sins
that are perpetrated against people.
It could be the sin of backbiting, slander,
lying, abusing somebody.
It could be all of these, being condescending
towards people.
And the Prophet ﷺ here is saying that
the only thing that is so horrible and
so bad that it can actually break apart
this beautiful and distinct relationship that two people
have is the transgression against Allah but against
the person in the path of that.
So one of the things that people can
do if they want to keep their relationship
good, and this also extends to like other
relationships too, is don't sin against each other.
If you want to be people that continue
to love each other, your family, your friends,
be people that are protecting yourself from sinning
against the other person.
Don't speak ill about them.
Don't slander, even if it's true.
You know the Prophet ﷺ, he said, أَتَدُرُونَ
مَا الْغِيْبَةَ Do you know what gheeba is?
And the companion said, you know, Allah and
His Messenger know best.
And he said, ذِكْرُكَ أَخَاكَ بِمَا يَكْرَهُ It's
to mention something about your brother or sister
that they don't like.
So the companions, they're just like us, man,
I swear.
I mean, we have the same thought process.
The companion said, يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ What if
what we're saying about them is true?
Which is basically what we say.
I would say to their face, you know,
to try to make ourselves feel better about
it.
And the Prophet ﷺ, he said, Yeah, exactly,
if what you're saying about them is true,
that is literally the definition of backbiting.
He says, if what you're saying about them
is a lie, then that is bahtan, that
is slander, that's a lie.
So just because something is true, like we
try to basically, you know, if we say
something bad about somebody, we feel bad, we're
like, well, it's true.
That doesn't actually alleviate any of the guilt.
It doesn't actually, in fact, it just reinforces
the guilt, right?
So generally speaking, that sin could eventually become
a reason.
Now think about this like even psychologically, what
happens when you speak ill about somebody and
not in their presence, the next time you
see them, right, those thoughts, those evil thoughts
about them start to bubble to the surface.
And they start to sort of, they're recurring.
And they become a reason why shaytan is
able to pull two people who otherwise love
each other apart.
So this hadith is an important lesson.
If you have this relationship with somebody, the
best way to protect it is by being
a person that does not transgress the right
of another person.
Another example of how to keep this love.
Is to be a person that is good
to really everybody, but especially those that are
close to you, right?
How many of you raise your hand if
you, in your neighborhood or at work, like
you know your neighbors pretty well?
That's good.
It's not enough though, right?
Like every Muslim, if I ask questions about
neighbors, every Muslim should be raising their hand.
The right, you know, the Prophet, peace be
upon him, he said, I was so overwhelmed
by the amount of times that Jibreel advised
me about the rights of neighbors.
Like I was so aware, he's like, it
happens so frequently that Jibreel would say things
like, take care of your neighbors, take care
of your neighbors, that he said, this is
the Prophet, peace be upon him, he said,
I was convinced that when the categories of
who should be included in your will were
given, that the neighbors were going to get
a cut.
Like that's how frequently he said what?
Be good to your neighbors, be good to
your neighbors.
And so the Prophet, peace be upon him,
companions were really concerned about their relationships with
their neighbors.
And for anyone here who's had a good
neighbor, there's a State Farm joke in there
somewhere.
Anyone here who's had a good neighbor, you
understand the power of that relationship, right?
So Aisha, Umm al-Bumineen Aisha, she says,
she asks, you know, her husband, the Prophet,
peace be upon him, she says, I have
two neighbors, right, on either side.
She goes, which one, which one of the
two should I like give stuff to?
So if I have like, let's say I
cooked food and I want to put a
plate aside and I want to give it
to the neighbors, right, if I don't have
enough for two, right, which one should I
give gifts to?
He said, He said, if you go outside,
you know, use your eyes and look and
see which one, theoretically, the door is closer
to you.
And whichever one the door is closer to
you, that neighbor has more of a right
upon you.
And so if you have like an extra
plate of food, go to that neighbor and
give the plate to that neighbor because that
door is closer to you.
By the way, a lot of us, you
know, we feel maybe, and this could be
like a shaytanic thing, we feel like, you
know what, if I don't have something good
to give, like I'm not going to give
like lentils to my neighbor, like daal chawal,
like no, I'm not, like I gotta, it's
gotta be the biryani, it has to be
the good stuff, you know, for the sake
of Islam, you know, like we have to
make sure we give the good stuff, you
know.
You know, Abu Dharr one time was making
some soup and soup, I mean, our soup
now is like, oh, it's a creamy butter,
it's a heritage squash, like with Parmesan and,
you know, heirloom tomatoes.
It's like soup for us is bougie.
Back then, soup for them was bones with
salt and water.
Oh, we're making soup, right?
It's basically broth.
If you've ever had Yemeni marak, like it's
just broth, right?
So he was making broth.
By the way, now we're full circle.
This advanced society, we have GPT, we have
Teslas that drive, and we drink bone broth,
right?
Like full circle, like we've come back to
Oregon Trail, like we're like, this is the
height of humanity.
Okay, so, we're cooked, man.
So the Prophet, peace be upon him, he
sees Abu Dharr, and Abu Dharr is just
making broth.
He's boiling water and bones and like some
salt, okay?
And so he says, Ya Abu Dharr, what
are you doing?
Because I'm making some soup.
And the Prophet, peace be upon him, he
looks at him, he says, did you make
some for your neighbor?
And Abu Dharr says, no, like, it's just
going to be salty water basically.
You know, and he was almost implying like,
no, it's, you know, it's nothing much.
I would wait to get something, maybe an
animal or something that I could give a
piece of meat to.
And he said, the Prophet, peace be upon
him, said, He said, add some water to
it.
Like, meaning what?
Increase the volume, so you can put some
aside for your neighbor.
So there's no excuse is the word.
There's no excuse, right?
If you have anything that you can give,
like imagine that you go and you have
some sweets.
You know, you buy a cheesecake.
There's nothing wrong with taking two slices of
it, putting it in a nice box and
saying, this is for you.
We were having cheesecake.
Who doesn't like cheesecake?
Here you go, right?
And wallahi, even if the person is like
allergic to cheesecake, they'll still feel so touched.
They'll still be like, that's the fact that
you even thought of me, right?
And this is what Muslims again are known
by, you know, the entire subcontinent, India, Pakistan,
Bangladesh, that entire region was converted to Islam,
not by scholars, but by Yemeni tradesmen.
Who went to that area to do business
and they impressed these people with their character.
And these people were so overwhelmed by the
virtue that they saw that they were like,
you know, if you have colleagues at work,
pay for their meal.
See how they react.
It's such a foreign concept.
Alhamdulillah, for Muslims, it's like very normal.
If someone pays for your meal, there's often
two or three people fighting to see who
can pay for the meal.
Right?
But for outside of our religious tradition, it's
such a foreign concept that when you do
it, that memory is so, so, it's like
concentrated.
It stays so much longer.
And it's for us, it's like $12, $10,
pay for someone's coffee.
You know, I had a, there was a
friend of mine and he wasn't Muslim.
And, you know, we did a lot of
interface stuff together.
And I one time bought him a coffee
and he was like, how much should I
zelle you?
And I was like, this is embarrassing.
You're going to zelle me for $4?
Like, that's, you know, just give it to
me in pennies.
Like, this is such a small amount, man.
Relax.
And he's like, no, no, no, no, no.
And I'm like, you know, and I was
like, this isn't like an interfaith thing, man.
Like, you don't have to do anything.
It's just coffee.
Right?
It's so important for Muslims to take advantage
of the generosity that our Prophet taught us.
And to be the person that is remembered,
if for nothing else, for being generous.
Right?
So the neighbors, let's make that our intention
inshallah this year.
Everyone's neighbor should know that you are Muslim
and that you're generous.
And that you are a good cook.
That's it.
Right?
And then let them come here to learn
about Qur'an and seerah and everything.
Okay?
Right?
Where did you learn how to cook like
this?
The Qur'an.
All right.
Allah mentions onions and garlic.
And that's all we need.
Okay?
Okay.
All right.
The next narration, subhanAllah.
And this kind of ties back to the
previous narration.
But this is talking about – how many
of you have ever heard the hadith that
the ummah is like one body?
You ever heard that hadith?
Okay.
That hadith, it's oftentimes presented in the context
of someone from the outside hurting the ummah.
So, for example, right now with Gaza, may
Allah make it easy.
May Allah give them victory, ya Rabb.
Or Sudan, may Allah make it easy and
give them victory, ya Rabb.
Any group from the ummah that's being attacked
from the outside.
Then in the fundraisers, oh, the ummah is
like one body.
We should all feel pain.
100% true.
100% accurate.
But you know what's interesting?
There's a narration here that's in Bukhari where
the Prophet ﷺ, he says that.
He says, He says, the Muslims are like
one body.
They're like one person.
Okay?
But before he mentions that statement, he gives
a command.
And he's commanding who here?
He's commanding Muslims.
He says, Be merciful with each other.
Okay, so it's a little bit of a
paradigm shift.
Before, we always heard this hadith under the
context of what?
We should feel the pain of other Muslims
who are being oppressed.
100% true statement.
Accurate.
No doubt.
But listen to this context.
This context is what?
It's not only the pain that's caused from
the outside.
It's the pain that's happening on the inside.
It's the Muslims that are hurting other Muslims.
He says, Because why?
I heard the Prophet ﷺ say that what?
He said that, I heard the Prophet ﷺ
say that the Muslims are like one single
person.
When one of the limbs complains, the rest
of the body call out to one another
because of the pain of one limb.
So when we think about, again, sometimes the
lack of care we have towards how we
treat each other and the things that we'll
do and say to each other, it's important
to realize that a fractured friendship or a
fractured family or a fractured community is ultimately
not in a good state to do anything.
Like if two people that are otherwise close,
that are friends, become fractured, that unit becomes
incapable of many things now.
That otherwise, if they were close, they could
achieve a lot.
They talk about this in sports all the
time.
You look at two people that have physical
talents, that have knowledge of the strategy of
the game, basketball, football, soccer, whatever it may
be, but the one thing that you can't
measure when it comes to abilities is chemistry.
And if you look at how people put
teams together, how the coaches and the general
managers and everybody, they're always wanting to build
chemistry because chemistry can oftentimes replace the skill
that other teams might have.
You look at teams that are very skilled
when it comes to their roster, right?
Or even this happens in the workplace.
Teams that are very skilled.
This happens in homes.
Families that have everything.
But why?
They're not happy because siblings don't get along,
the spouses don't get along, etc.
Financially, they have everything, but there's no love
in the home.
Versus a family that financially is more modest,
but because there's love, the home feels much
more expanded, right?
And that's why one of my…
You know, he's the teacher for the first
year, the Arabic year at Qalam, at the
seminary.
He says that his father always told him,
it's not the size of the home, but
the size of the hearts in the home.
That's what makes the home valuable.
The home is irrelevant.
You can have a big home, but if
there's no heart in it, it doesn't matter.
You could have a relatively small home, but
if there's love in there, guests will come
over and feel what?
They'll feel that warmth, right?
And so here, the Prophet ﷺ is giving
us this command, be merciful to one another.
Because every relationship that you have, ultimately, whether
or not you illustrate and whether or not
you articulate that mercy to each other, is
going to indicate whether or not you and
that person will be successful as part of
the Ummah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
Right?
And you see this with communities, you see
this with, you know, even countries.
You see the warmth that people have towards
one another.
It's indicative of their success as a unit.
May Allah Ta'ala give us that.
Okay.
Another reward, just for showing love for each
other.
We've already talked about it so much.
Okay?
The Prophet ﷺ, he said that one of
the rewards that a person has for loving
their brother or sister is that their du
'as never are rejected.
Their du'as are never rejected.
Imam Ghazali, he talks about this a little
bit in his book, which is called The
Rights of Friendship.
And he says that, if you love somebody
for the sake of Allah, and you make
du'a for them, there's a special audience
that's participating in your du'a, and that's
the angels.
So when you make du'a for your
friend, and you say, Oh Allah, bless my
friend.
Right?
Give my friend.
And then you, you know, so you name
whatever they're asking for.
When you say Ameen, the angels also say
Ameen, but then they add something after.
They say, وَلَكَ مِثْلُهُ And may Allah give
you something just like it, or exactly like
it.
Right?
So the angels are a unique creature, because
the angels don't disobey Allah.
Everything an angel does, it's whatever Allah wants.
So if the angel makes du'a for
you, that must mean that who is instructing
that angel to make du'a for you?
Allah.
So if Allah is instructing an angel to
ask Allah for something, what are the chances
Allah will say yes?
Very high.
Right?
Very high.
So when a person has a close relation
with somebody, without realizing it, they're elevating the
status of their own du'a.
And this is also, a lot of people
ask questions like, oh, if I only have
10 minutes left, I'm like, in what world?
Okay, anyways.
Right?
If I only have a short amount of
time, who do I make du'a for?
Myself or everybody else?
And the, you know, they're both good answers.
You can make du'a for yourself, of
course.
But if you make du'a for others,
don't forget that the angels are the ones
that are in chorus, making du'a for
you.
Right?
So if you only have 10 minutes left,
maybe you're fasting or something, then don't forget
other people in your du'as.
Because that is, of course, it is what
it is, not haram per se, but you're
missing out on double the reward.
Praying for somebody else, and the angels returning
it back to you.
Okay.
Alright, the next, the next good deed, small
good deed.
Okay?
You know, the Prophet ﷺ, one of the
greatest things about him, was that he is
ideal, but he's so practical.
So practical.
Right?
So we're talking about, like, loving your brother,
loving your sister, for the sake of Allah,
putting everything past.
And everyone here is vibing right now.
We're all in that good, like, yeah.
We're, like, in a good mood.
You're going to walk out and be like,
I love everybody.
And then someone's going to cut you off
in the parking lot.
You're like, I hate that person.
Okay?
So, it's natural sometimes.
It's natural.
Musa, you just have to open one of
the doors, the storage door.
Open the storage door, and it'll stay closed.
Open the storage door.
It'll stay closed.
Because of the air conditioning.
Yeah, yeah.
Everyone who's on the podcast is like, what's
going on?
Okay.
So, it's natural for somebody to have moments.
Right?
You have good days and bad.
You have those hills and valleys.
So, when you have a day that is
good, all of the narrations we just talked
about, they apply.
What about when you have a bad day?
What about when you have a day when
you aren't getting along with somebody?
Is it okay to not get along with
somebody?
Yes, it's okay.
But there are, there's an etiquette.
Okay?
There's an etiquette.
So, Islam is full of understanding like the
complexities of human existence, but there's always a
way, there's a methodology, how to do it.
So, the Prophet, peace be upon him, he
says, لا يحل للمسلم أن يهجر أخاه فوق
ثلاثة أيام It's not permissible for anyone who
calls himself a Muslim to, the verb he
used was يهجر which means to make hijra
which is not to be taken literally but
it's to be like, sort of a way
of describing the effect of it.
You can't excommunicate somebody.
You can't just go dark on them.
Like you can't just like completely ghost somebody
for the rest of your life.
That's effectively you're making, you're migrating from them.
Right?
So, he says لا يحل It's not permissible
للمسلم for a believer أن يهجر أخاه فوق
ثلاثة أيام It's not permissible for a believer
to abandon somebody in their life for over
three days.
So, this is where the famous I don't
know if you guys ever heard this before
like you have three days to be angry.
This is where it's derived from.
Okay?
So, you have 72 hours to become angry
at somebody.
Now, what does that mean?
It means that you have to after the
72-hour period it doesn't mean that you
can like back but it's not like a
free period.
Oppress and transgress all you want.
No, it's just it's dealing with human reality
like you're upset, you need time.
You know, the phrase I like to use
is like you need time to let the
dust settle.
Like maybe the first day, the second day
things are just very, very chaotic.
Emotions are still flying.
You're trying to let your mind and heart
process.
You're trying to figure out the entire environment
of what was going on.
Why was said?
This and that.
Okay.
Third day, kind of getting back to your
you know, you wake up on the third
day and you're kind of asking yourself is
this even worth it?
Like I'm almost exhausted from being angry.
Right?
And that's where as a Muslim your job
is to repair the relationship.
Or at the very least maybe you don't
want to be close anymore because maybe this
is something that's actually like kind of essential
to the relationship like maybe there's two people
that are just incompatible.
But you still can't cut that person off
which means you have to at least be
a person that gives them what?
Salaam.
Right?
Or as they say in Urdu, Salaam Dua.
Right?
So you have to be Salaam Alaikum.
How are you?
How's the family?
Mashallah, it's good to see you.
Allah bless you.
Right?
No, not interested in hanging out but Allah
bless you.
You know, that's fine.
That's fine.
There are some people in life like that
and I want us to understand that.
You know, Islam does not expect everybody to
be best friends.
It's not sustainable.
Right?
There was the Prophet, peace be upon him,
with Abu Bakr and then there was the
Prophet, peace be upon him, with some other
people and he simply was not as close.
Now, he wasn't mean.
He wasn't rude.
No, of course not.
I seek refuge with Allah.
But you couldn't claim that every companion had
the same relationship with him as Abu Bakr
or Omar.
Like you couldn't, you know, the famous narration
where they were gathered in the house of
the Prophet, peace be upon him.
It was just a few, it was a
handful of people.
Abu Bakr, Omar, Uthman.
Right?
They just came to his house, peace be
upon him.
So, the point being is that you do
have those, of course, have the standard.
Muslims treat every Muslim with dignity, with honor,
with compassion, with grace.
But then you might have some that are
closer to you and that's fine.
That's absolutely okay.
Right?
But listen to this.
It's not permissible to leave somebody for more
than three days.
But listen to this.
Okay?
The Prophet, peace be upon him, super practical,
super realistic.
Giving you the, okay, three days.
You have three days.
But then, just like a good teacher, and
he was the best teacher, peace be upon
him, he doesn't leave you at the concession.
He always tries to push you back to
the ideal.
So, he says, sure, you should try not
to fight with people.
If you have to fight, you have three
days.
And then he says, وَالسَّابِقُ السَّابِقُ إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ
He goes, and the one who is first
to repair will be the first one to
enter Jannah.
If you want to enter Jannah first, then,
get over your pride.
Get over your ego and repair.
Right?
Otherwise, you're going to watch the other person
walk right into Jannah before you.
Right?
Don't you want to be first?
Yeah, of course.
Right?
You want to be the one that's first
into Paradise, you have to be the first
one to repair that relationship.
Okay?
Another risk for people that shun each other,
for people that shut each other out.
He says, SubhanAllah, there's a scholar, Abu Al
-Aliya, he says, سَمِعْتُ فِي الْمُتَصَارِمِينَ أَحَدِيثَ كَثِيرَةً
He says, I have heard, when it comes
to people that turn each other away, that
shun each other, basically people that hold grudges
against each other, a lot of narrations about
the punishment of the people that do this.
The people that hold grudges.
I've heard a lot of narrations about the
punishment.
He says, كُلُّهَا شَدِيدَةٌ So all of the
narrations are really intense.
Meaning like, when I ask you about the
great sins, we're going to talk about like
murder, zina, stealing, right?
No one would be, no one would list
in their top five sins like shunning.
Right?
You're like murder, stealing, and shunning somebody.
That doesn't, but why is it so grievous?
Because it tears apart communities, tears apart families.
And if we don't have community because people
are beefing about what?
About something so petty, right?
99 times out of 100, it's not that
serious.
It's not that deep.
Yes, one time out of 100, it is.
And in those moments, there are arbitrators, there's
mediators, there's people, there's therapists, there's ways that
we can get around that.
But 99 times out of 100, the disagreements
that we have that last days and weeks,
after it, you're like, that was silly.
That was actually, you know, as my daughter
was recently, a word that she recently learned,
S-T-U-P-I-D, right?
Yeah, I know.
Someone can spell.
Habibti.
She says, she said the word to me.
She doesn't know what it means.
She thinks it means silly.
I can't, I can't.
Well, okay.
So, she's like, it's bad.
She goes, Baba.
She goes, do I have permission, parents?
Okay, don't say this word, kids.
It's bad.
She said, Baba, that is, and then she
said, S-T-U-P-I-D.
I bought these like, bug zapper things that
you plug into the wall, and she went
and looked at it, and it has like
this sticky thing, and there's no bug stuck
to it.
She goes, this thing is stupid, right?
And I go, okay, that's the wrong application.
She goes, so what can I say it
about?
And I said, you really shouldn't say it
at all.
And I haven't even said it in front
of her, so I'm like, I wonder why
she's, okay, anyways.
She goes to school.
So then, homeschool parents are like, see, right?
So, so, and then she goes, can I
say, Shaitan is?
And I'm like, yeah, that's pretty much it
though.
Like, yeah, you got me there.
Like, what am I supposed to say, no?
Like, yeah, please, say it all you want.
Like, Bismillah, we'll say it together, a chant,
you know?
So, I don't even know how I got
there.
Okay, so, oh yeah, so everything that we,
that we beef with each other about is
like, usually pretty, it's just, it's just petty.
So he says, the punishment for all of
these things, all, or the punishment I've heard
about this, you know, this reciprocal shunning of
each other, mutasarimina, he says, all of the
punishments are really bad, very, very painful.
He says, wa inna ahwana ma sami'tu and
even the lightest punishment that I heard with
regards to this, is he says, annahuma la
yazalani nakibayni anil haqqi ma kana kathalika He
says, ma kana kathalika He says, the two
people that are fighting, so long as they
persist in their fight against one another, Allah
will withhold from them truth as long as
they remain in that state.
So this can mean a couple of things.
Number one, is perhaps this means that Allah
subhana wa ta'ala will withhold from them
like the truth of what they're fighting about.
And isn't this the case?
When two people are dead set on not
resolving, they never actually come to realize what
really happened.
It's always, I'm right, no I'm right.
And usually, the truth is somewhere in between.
And the moment that the first person says,
I'm willing to talk and the second person
responds, me too, both people realize we were
actually both wrong.
And there was something in between, there was
a miscommunication, misunderstanding, we jumped to conclusions, we
made a mistake.
Okay?
So that's the first interpretation.
The second interpretation, and this one's even more
powerful and scary, is that Allah will withhold,
Allah withholds the truth, meaning like Iman, like
Islam, Allah would withhold a person's journey to
Him so long as they become a person
who shuns other people and they are shunned
by the other person.
May Allah protect us.
So this is at stake, subhanAllah.
Okay?
Alright.
The next good deed.
The next small good deed that will give
people Jannah.
The Prophet ﷺ said, this is a very
well-known hadith narrated by Imam Ahmad Niz
Musnad, دخل عبد الجنة He says, بغسن من
شوك كان على طريق المسلمين فأماطه عنه He
says, a person will enter Jannah.
This is a promise of the Prophet ﷺ.
And whenever people were sitting with him and
he said, a person will enter paradise, like
he said that phrase, obviously everyone's ears perked
up, their hearts focused, they were like, because
they want to know.
And again, when you hear that phrase, you
think to yourself, this is going to be
something just majestic, you know, like huge, magnanimous,
this is going to be like the Superbowl
of good deeds.
But listen to this good deed, subhanAllah.
He says, a person will enter the garden,
enter Jannah, for removing a branch that has
some thorns on it, which was on the
road blocking people, blocking their fellow Muslims or
blocking people.
That's it.
That's the deed.
It's that simple.
A Muslim will receive the reward of paradise
for spending 30 seconds pulling something harmful, a
harmful object, out of the street.
Could you imagine?
Could you imagine in your life, when you
arrive on the Day of Judgment, you see
that getting out in a parking lot, right,
this is a road, this is a taliq
right here, and you see something, a box
or something that could damage somebody's car or
anything, you just get out and you walk
it over to the dumpster.
You know what's amazing?
This deed is something that even you would
have forgotten about.
Like none of us are going to show
up on the Day of Judgment and be
like, oh Allah, I got it.
Right?
May 22nd, there was a box in the
road, and I thought, this is my chance.
None of us would remember.
It's so insignificant.
It's so mundane, but it's so beautiful.
Why?
Because there's no reason for you to do
it.
Right?
There's no reason for you.
You could drive around.
It's a wide enough road, right?
No one else is coming.
You could move around.
But your heart, right, the pure heart was
like, you know what?
This is, right now, the right thing for
me to do.
And you go and you do it.
And then you go about your day.
You live the rest of your life.
You know, on the December 31st, you're sitting
around thinking about your year.
You're like, man, that day was a special
day.
No one is doing that.
Right?
You're thinking about Umrah, Ramadan, da-da-da
-da-da.
No one's thinking about pulling a box out
of the street.
But look at how generous Allah is.
We forget.
He doesn't forget.
And on the Day of Judgment, you show
up and Allah will remind you.
This is how generous He is.
He doesn't have to.
He'll remind you.
He'll say, remember that one deed that you
did and no one was around.
You know, it was a random night.
You stayed a little bit late.
You got there a little bit early.
And you decided, I'm going to take 30
seconds to take care of this and throw
this in the trash or move this aside.
And you say, Ya Rabbi, I forgot.
And Allah will say, I didn't forget.
And because of that, dakhla al-jannah.
That person will enter Paradise.
May Allah give us that opportunity.
You know, I've heard this hadith from when
I was a kid.
You read this and like, you know, teachers
say this all the time.
And a lot of times, now I want
to be clear.
If doing this puts you in danger, you
shouldn't do it.
And I know it sounds a little bit
humorous, but I'm being serious.
If you see something, for example, like on
the highway, right, like don't.
This is not the time to apply this
because it's not safe.
You could call, you could do the right
thing, right.
It may not qualify as a hadith.
But, right, Allah is generous.
Inshallah, Allah kareem, He'll do it.
This is talking about the opportunity and the
time where you can do it yourself.
Okay.
And the reason being, again, because this is
the exact opposite of a person who is
selfish and vain and only interested in serving
themselves.
It has nothing to do with you, right.
You've now, you've transcended beyond selfishness and vanity.
You're doing it for everybody else but yourself.
What else is the definition of sincerity except
for that?
Okay.
That's not the only thing that we should
be removing branches from the road.
Another narration.
Abu Huraira, he narrates that the Prophet Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam, he said, Inna ahadakum mir'atu
akhihi.
Okay.
Famous narration.
You are a mirror for your brother or
sister.
Famous hadith.
You might have heard it before.
Okay.
Now the mirror, every one of us hopefully
uses mirrors.
I can see everybody tonight.
Looks great.
You probably used a mirror today.
MashaAllah.
So we're familiar with the function of mirrors.
Okay.
The rest of the narration, there's an other
half to it.
He says, Fa idha ra'a bihi shay
'an, fal yumithu anhu.
The function of the mirror ultimately is to
beautify the appearance and to take away anything
that's less than beautiful.
If I went in front of the mirror
and I saw that on my jubbah today,
I saw a giant stain, I would take
this off.
The mirror was the thing that helped correct
me.
Right.
So, one of the responsibilities, and this is
a good deed that again is very small,
but it's something that is very long lasting,
is the good deed of looking out for
the appearance of the Iman of your brother
or sister.
We would all hopefully look out for each
other's physical appearance.
If you guys saw me, and you're like,
there's something, a giant piece of lettuce in
my teeth, and I'm about to go give
a speech or something, or if I saw
you and you're about to go meet, and
I saw there was a giant something, like
ketchup stain, hopefully, out of our love for
each other, we would tell like, hey, go
clean your teeth, or like, hey, maybe you
want to change your shirt because you have
a stain.
That's a sign of brotherhood, sisterhood, right?
We look out for each other.
But when it comes to Iman, we have
to have the same, the same vibe.
You have to have that same sort of
commitment to one another.
But here's the thing.
Raise your hand if you've ever been corrected
in a rough way by somebody.
Yeah.
I will never forget, man.
I was praying one time in a masjid
in the UK, of course.
In it.
I was praying there, and I hope no
one hears from you guys.
So I remember that I didn't have my
kufi.
I was just praying.
I'm a Muslim.
So I didn't have my kufi, so I
was praying one time, and some of the
masjid, I don't know if you guys have
seen this before, but they have like a
basket.
It's ironic because they have like a basket
of these plastic kufis that basically just look
like baskets themselves.
They're just upside down.
So the guy took one of the plastic
kufis while I was praying, and he put
it on my head.
But he mistimed it because I was kind
of going into ruku, so he put it
on, and then it just fell off.
And then he picked it up and put
it on my head.
Again, not the greatest way.
And then when I finished my salah, he's
like, you know, brother, you really should.
And I said, I know.
And I want it to be like, you
also just shouldn't.
Like, you know, it's okay.
I get it, right?
I'm just, you know, a younger me would
have been more upset.
But okay.
So look, all of us have been corrected
in ways that are like incorrect, less than
ideal.
We, as an ummah, have to get to
a point where we can separate the method
of correction from what's being said.
You know, Imam Ghazali, very famously, he said
that an alcoholic should be able to tell
you in his drunkenness not to drink alcohol
without you calling out his contradiction.
Like, can you be the person that's able
to separate, right?
Those two things.
Because what happens is good advice is oftentimes
not received because the person being advised is
so focused on the false, the faulty method.
But you're actually missing out on something, right?
And you could.
You could actually find a lot of improvement
if you master the skill of being able
to separate, right?
The good, which is the advice, from the
bad, which is the way in which they
gave it.
That's step number one.
Number two, and that's for the advisee.
That's for the one receiving the advice.
It's actually an art.
Receiving advice in itself is an art.
Okay?
You almost have to like calm yourself, enter
like a meditative state.
Okay?
You have to remind yourself it's not personal.
You almost have to have like an out
-of-body experience where you're like, okay, it's
not about me.
Right?
The person's trying to help me.
This isn't an attack.
You have to do that, right?
May Allah make it easy for us.
Number two, the advisor.
Okay?
Like in the mirror metaphor, punching the mirror
for telling you that you have lettuce in
your teeth is not going to fix the
lettuce in your teeth.
It's not.
Getting upset at the reflection is not helping
your situation.
It's not changing anything.
Right?
So, if a person has that moment and
advises you, right?
Instead of getting upset with the reflection, just
try to fix what the reflection is showing
you.
No matter how offensive the reflection is.
Right?
Now, for the advisor, there's also, and this
is the beauty of the Prophet's speech is
that he could address both sides.
For the advisor, a mirror is silent.
A mirror doesn't announce.
You know, you've seen the reflection, you're walking
into the wedding, you're walking into the dinner
party, you're walking into somewhere special, and you
see the reflection of yourself in the mirror,
the mirror does not announce the flaw that
it saw.
Right?
It doesn't tell everybody.
A reflection is silent.
Only you and the mirror knows about the
flaw that it saw, and that's it.
And this is the, this is the character
of the Prophet ﷺ.
He would advise people in a way where
it was almost a secret.
Actually, it really was a secret.
He would advise people in a way where
nobody else was around.
He would use very interesting language even sometimes.
He would use figurative language, metaphors, that maybe
only the other person could pick up on.
He would speak in positivity, asking questions, not
making statements.
You know, if he told somebody to do
something and that person forgot, he would say,
hey, did I forget to ask?
And it wasn't the passive aggressive.
He would say, oh, I must have forgotten.
When in fact, he knew ﷺ that he
didn't forget.
He knew he didn't.
You know, there was one time a person
who came to the masjid, and he had
committed a big sin.
And he came and he told the Prophet
ﷺ, I committed this sin.
And the Prophet ﷺ said, okay, let's just
pray first.
It's time for Asr.
Let's pray.
He prays.
He turns around and he says, is the
brother who said he committed that one sin,
is he here?
Or is the brother who talked to me
before prayer here?
Let's be honest, y'all.
Do you think the Prophet ﷺ forgot what
he looked like?
No.
He was trying to give the guy what?
Just go.
Make tawbah and go.
So the guy raises his hand and goes,
yeah, I'm right here.
The Prophet ﷺ was like, he goes, let
me ask you a question.
Did you pray with us?
He said, yes.
He goes, okay.
Did you ask Allah to forgive you?
He says, yes.
He goes, okay.
Allah forgave you.
Now go.
Right?
This is, again, his methodology.
Now look, some sins, some mistakes, they do
require a little bit more.
But those are the exceptions.
Those are the things that are handled differently.
The general rule when it comes to advising
others and being advised and advice in general
is that we do it in a way
that dignifies the person.
We try to dignify them through the advice.
We try to build them up, not tear
them down.
You know, it's interesting, SubhanAllah, in construction, demolition
is a lot easier than building.
Like you could tear down this wall in
two seconds, but to build it would take
you a long time.
Right?
And that's why we prefer to tear down
instead of building because it requires more patience,
more thought, more strategy, more materials.
All of these things require more nuance, more
intelligence.
You could hire anyone to take a sledgehammer
to a drywall, but you can't hire anyone
to build it.
Right?
And so for us, we fear being thoughtful
in advice because it's so much easier just
to destroy.
It's so much easier to call someone foolish
rather than to say, you know what?
You actually have what it takes.
You just need to rethink this.
Right?
Or you actually are really good.
You just got to fix this one thing.
But what you see, SubhanAllah, in the message
of the Prophet ﷺ is that when he
invested in people like that, he saw returns
and dividends that nobody else saw.
Okay?
Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
All right.
The last one, and this is the end
of the chapter, is one of the virtues
we talked about last week is visiting.
But this is a different kind of visitation.
This visitation has a purpose.
So we talked about visiting casually, just kind
of going to someone's house, saying salamu alaykum,
you know, social visiting.
This visitation has a purpose.
And the purpose of this visitation is to
visit somebody when they're not feeling well.
So it could be like an injury, it
could be a sickness.
The Prophet ﷺ has said, he's narrated to
have said, that the Prophet ﷺ said, verily,
when a person goes and visits a person
in a state of sickness, they go for
the purpose of visiting their sick brother or
sister.
That person, while they might think that they
are in their friend's living room or in
the hospital room or in who knows where,
right, in the recovery room, if they looked
around, that's what they would see.
They got a phone call, hey, where you
at?
Oh, I'm visiting Ahmed, you know, he had
surgery or I'm visiting Maryam, you know, she
was sick.
That person is describing the dunya.
The Prophet ﷺ says, sure, in the dunya,
that's where you are, but do you know
where you really are?
He says, He says, that person is actually
grazing in one of the meadows of Jannah
until they leave, until they return.
It's like, you know how, if you go
to Medina, for those who have been to
Umrah, may Allah ﷻ invite us all, there's
a special place there in the masjid of
the Prophet ﷺ called the Rawdah.
And the Rawdah is like, perhaps, I mean,
you know, it's arguable, you could argue that
there's a few places on earth that are
very valuable, right, being buried in Medina al
-Baqiyah is one of them, of course, but
you could argue that Rawdah is one of
the most valuable pieces of real estate on
earth because this is where people, I mean,
the Prophet ﷺ said, what is between my
mimber in my house is a garden from
the gardens of paradise, right, is a garden
from the gardens of paradise.
So think about it, people want to go
pray there, people want to go make du
'a there because the Prophet ﷺ proclaimed that
this is actually a piece of Jannah, right,
effectively, not actually in terms of like the
reward, but actually in terms of the barakah,
the effect of it.
Imagine if you went to Jannah, you know,
one of my teachers, he said his du
'a when he entered the Rawdah is, O
Allah, you let me enter your Jannah here,
please let me enter it there.
Right, so people enter into like a different
state when they go in there because they're
like, okay, this is where my du'as
are like, I'm there.
So that Rawdah, people pay what, a few
thousand dollars, take two weeks out of their
life, stay in Medina, queue, right, now you
have to sign up and get a reservation
spot, all these things.
And when you go there, it is absolute,
people are so focused, right, it's nice now,
they've organized it, you only have 15 minutes,
it's a very difficult process, like, you know
what I mean, you want more time there,
no, no, no, not happening.
But now the Prophet, peace be upon him,
is teaching us that you don't have to
do all that, of course if you do,
mashallah, may Allah bless you, but you don't
have to do all that, you can actually
be in the meadows of Jannah just down
the road at Texas Presbyterian, or at Children's
Hospital, or at UT Southwestern, or if your
friend came back, or if your friend has
the flu, or if your friend, you could
actually, and notice the sickness is not predetermined,
meaning, it wasn't like the Prophet, peace be
upon him, was like, only these sicknesses apply,
right, so the next time your friend has
a headache, you're like, wait right there, I
will bring you ibuprofen, right, I will bring
you whatever you need, no really, because why?
All of these good deeds are small good
deeds, they're silent, people will forget that you
did them, you'll forget that you did them,
but in that moment, you've only done that
because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala taught us,
through his Prophet, that this is what he
loves, so he says, so long as you're
there, you're in the meadow of Jannah, okay,
now there's another narration, listen to this, جاء
أبو موسى يعود حسن بن علي رضي الله
عنه فدخل علي رضي الله عنه وهو عنده
okay, so the narration starts by saying that
أبو موسى, who is a companion, أبو موسى
الأشعري, he came to visit the son of
علي رضي الله عنه and he was with
him, like he was sitting with him, علي
رضي الله عنه, he came inside to the
room, فقال, he says, أعائدا جئت؟
Did you come because he was sick?
Is that why you came here?
أو, he says, أم زائرا؟
Were you just visiting and you found him
sick here?
There's a difference.
Did you like hear that he was sick
and you made your way here?
Or, were you swinging by anyways and you
saw my son and he was sick?
أبو موسى says لا, بل أعائدا No, no,
no, I heard he was sick so I
took some time and I wanted to come
visit.
علي said, فإنه ليس من مسلم يعود مسلما
إلا شايعه سبعون ألف ملك وَجُعِلَ فِي خُرْفَةِ
الجَنَّةِ سبحان الله He said, it wasn't just
you who came.
He says, you came, but with you, just
like the meadow of Jannah that you're in
is unseen, you are surrounded by angels.
How many?
Seventy thousand.
Your presence here brought seventy thousand angels, all
of them praying for, beseeching Allah, asking, supplicating,
begging Allah for mercy to descend upon this
gathering, meaning the visitor and the one who's
being visited.
Small good deed.
It doesn't take a lot.
It's just one text message.
It's just fifteen minutes on your way home.
It's not that much.
But to be surrounded and in the presence
of seventy thousand angels, forget, what is it
called, Arbor Creek?
Walking in the meadows of Plano?
No.
You can walk in the meadow of Jannah.
Right?
And you can be there.
May Allah Ta'ala give us this barakah
and this reward.
May Allah Ta'ala give us the ability
to practice even these small good deeds.
May Allah Ta'ala overlook our mistakes and
may Allah Ta'ala magnify our small good
deeds and give us pure hearts to enact
on these good deeds, Ya Rabb al-Alamin.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to accept from
us all that we have done, all that
we have tried to do.
We ask Allah to allow these gatherings and
these moments of knowledge to be things that
integrate into our hearts and to transform us,
Ya Rabb.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to accept from
us our prayers and our du'as and
all of the good deeds that we try
to do, Ya Arham al-Rahimin.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to bless our
brothers and sisters, especially those who went and
gave their time and risked their own lives
and sacrificed their time with their families to
go and help medically with our brothers and
sisters in Gaza.
We have some people who came back, Alhamdulillah,
safely and we ask Allah Ta'ala to
protect them and keep them safe.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to accept their
sacrifice.
We ask Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala to
uplift the situation and the state of our
brothers and sisters in Gaza and to protect
them and give them victory against the oppressive
regime, Ya Arham al-Rahimin.
Subhanakallah wa bihamdik.
Nashadu an la ilaha illa anta nastaghfiruka wa
natubu ilayk.
Jazakumullahu khairan everybody.
BarakAllahu feekum.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.