AbdelRahman Murphy – Thirty & Up Treasury Of Imam Al-Ghazali #10
AI: Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the importance of finding a safe space in relationships and finding a meaningful relationship. They emphasize the need to avoid assumptions and avoid cluttering relationships, and to focus on one's psychological situation and finding a safe life. They also discuss the importance of troubleshooting and finding one's love in life, finding personal connections, and finding faith in life. The speakers end with a discussion of criminal cartridge and the importance of faith in life.
AI: Summary ©
Yeah, yeah.
So, Shaykh Naveed, mashallah, we can actually, this
mic is probably better for you, is it
on?
Testing, one, two, three.
Yeah, it is.
So, he's in town for a few different
things and he graciously, he was here this
morning for the seminary, he was working with
some of the students here.
For those of you who don't know, of
course, Qadam also has, mashallah, basically an Islamic
college, right, preparing young scholars to come and
develop their own community programs and to serve
the community.
So, he spent some time talking about prophetic
leadership, which is one of his areas of
study and expertise, mashallah.
Shaykh Naveed actually did his own Islamic studies
in the city of the Prophet, peace be
upon him, in Medina.
He graduated from the Islamic University of Medina
and then came back to Canada, mashallah, to
practice and to build community there.
So, we're happy to have you.
Thank you for joining us.
Thank you so much for having me.
How's everything?
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.
I'm so happy to be here, bro.
It's an honor, man.
I feel like I've seen this so many
times on, like, the internet.
The beer is, like, surreal.
Well, the funny thing is, okay, you have
been here before because we've had food over
there together.
Exactly, but that was different.
When it was closed, yeah.
I mean, we just spoke about brothers eating
chocolate and pizza together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I was like, man, what type of
biddad did I walk into?
There was a guy that was with us.
I can't name him because I don't want
his daughter to lose respect for him.
But we had pizza and then we were
eating pizza and he would take a bite
and then we would notice he would reach
under the table.
He would want to grab a piece of
chocolate.
And then he would eat a piece of
chocolate in between bites, taking the whole sweet
-salty thing to a new level.
Oh, man.
So, Shaykh Naveed, I'm happy that didn't scare
you away from coming back.
Never.
I love you guys too much, man.
Alhamdulillah.
I love you guys too much.
It's good to have you, alhamdulillah.
We're happy that you hit us during a
relatively good weather season.
It was really hot here a couple weeks
ago.
I don't even know what that means because
I was sweating so much today.
I'm like, how did people survive there?
I think in Canada it was like 40
last week or two weeks ago.
People are like melting.
Yeah, yeah.
So, for us when it gets there, it's
pretty hot.
But now this is like beautiful.
Like this weather for us is like alhamdulillah.
We'll take this all day.
Yesterday was great.
Today was a little, you know, it was
good.
But it got a little warm.
A little warm.
But beggars can't be choosers.
Alhamdulillah.
And we are all fukara when it comes
to a lot of things including weather.
So, alhamdulillah.
It's a blessing to have you here.
This is our Tuesday night class.
So, we have Monday night which is heart
work.
Monday night is the more large community class.
We're going through different topics there.
Tuesday night was sort of a matriculation of
Monday night where there was a group of
people who are a little bit maybe older,
a little bit more advanced in their life.
They hit a few more milestones.
And they wanted to have, I would say,
more conversations that were more substantive and more
in-depth.
Not to say that heart work is not.
But sometimes I feel like in the conversation
piece, maybe the end result of the conversation
is more inspirational on Mondays.
Whereas here, you know, we talk a lot
about, you know, quite frankly we talk a
lot about what happens with your legacy after
you pass away.
You know, we talk about crafting your identity
in a way that's meaningful.
We talk about thinking a lot about, you
know, your death, the afterlife.
I mean everything that we talk about really
is framed in the language of, you know,
the long term, right?
Beyond the aspirations of a 20-year-old
who's starting in the workforce.
Now you're 30 and older and you start
to realize that you're coming close to Allah
knows best and cresting through perhaps the halfway
point of your life.
And that realization is very sobering.
And so the conversations that we have here,
you know, they're lighthearted.
They're funny as well.
But we try to really anchor them with
a lot more meaning and substance, you know,
in a serious way.
And I think everyone's prepared for that type
of depth as well, inshallah.
So I thought this would be perfect for
someone like yourself, inshallah, who you have a
lot of depth and substance as a person,
inshallah.
Shukr.
We should get started.
We've been reading from, in this class, this
is our 10th week, a book called Kunuz
min al-Ghazali, which translates to A Treasury
of Ghazali.
And it's an author, contemporary author, Dr. Mustafa
Abu Suay, who did a compilation of some
of the best passages that he thought were
passages of relevance to the Muslim spiritual development,
you know, from al-Ghazali's works.
And so we talked about a lot of
different topics so far, intention.
We talked about sincerity.
We talked about, you know, materialism versus spirituality.
I talked about philosophy, you know, in al
-Ghazali, some of his more famous challenges that
he dealt with in his life.
Tonight, the topic that Dr. Mustafa chose, he
summarized it with the phrase striving beyond justice.
And I think that, you know, we live
in a time, primarily in our social era,
where we see a lot of relationships as
transactional.
You know, relationships, we try to measure them
out very evenly, almost like when you're baking
something, you try to measure it out evenly.
You flatten out the scoop or the cup
of flour.
And a lot of us, we view relationships
in that way.
There's a lot of inherent, like, scorekeeping, right?
I think you deal a lot with marriages
and with family dynamics as a scholar and
an imam in Canada.
Do you see a lot of that kind
of culture between, you know, parents and kids,
spouses, etc.?
People keeping score and kind of that being
a challenge?
I think in relationships in general, just the
way society molds us is that we become
very transactional.
But I think there's two components to this
as well.
Like, as human beings, we are created reciprocal.
If someone's nice to us, we want to
be nice to them.
But if someone harms us, we have anger
and rage as well that we want to
reciprocate as well.
And that is the part that should be
controlled.
So with that being said, there are certain
moments where being transactional is good.
But for the vast majority of times, you
should always be more generous than, you know,
transactional.
Subhanallah.
And that's exactly what Imam Ghazali talks about
here.
He defines later in the passage.
We'll read it, inshallah.
But he defines this concept, this Islamic concept
of Ihsan, which scholars really do their best
to try to define in a concise way.
I mean, really, there's probably books that are
written on this topic.
Ihsan, it shares the same root as the
Arabic word that indicates beauty or something that's
ornamented.
And it comes from the idea of a
person's character being beautiful and then engaging with
other people at a level that's beyond transactionality,
right?
So, for example, you know, the statement that
we have in English, right?
Do unto others as you would like to
be done to yourself.
And this is seen as the golden rule.
But in Islam, we actually don't consider that
to be the golden rule.
That's like the, like, I don't know, very,
very basic level of Islamic conduct.
To do unto others as you would want
to be done to yourself is considered like
basic.
That's basic human relationship or character.
What we consider to be prophetic is that
the Prophet, peace be upon him, would do
unto others much more and better than he
would expect to be done to himself.
And so scholars would define Ihsan by saying
that Ihsan, he says it here, which is
really beautiful.
He says, He says, He
says that Ihsan is when a person does
something, a behavior, an action that is beneficial
to the one that they are interacting with
or engaging with and it is not an
obligation upon them to do this.
Meaning that they're not beholden to this.
He says, It is actually just simply a
favor or a better action to be done.
It's an elevation of that person's interaction with
this person.
So Ihsan, he's saying here in the relationship
department, is when a person doesn't look at
what was done to them and what is
asked of them.
But they look at what is beyond what
is being asked of them.
So I want to read, Inshallah, the translation
of what Al-Ghazali says here.
And I want to have Shaykh Naveed, you
know, while he's here with us, share some
wisdom.
If you guys have any questions, of course
the Slido is open.
So you can go to slido.com, that's
S-L-I-D-O.com and you
can type in the words 30 and up.
All of them are the words.
And then you can start sending questions there.
I can't wait to see your marriage questions.
Okay.
So it's an inside joke.
It's not really a joke.
It's just inside.
It's just an inside thing that I'm dealing
with.
So but Inshallah, let's go ahead and get
started, Shaykh.
So he says that Allah ﷻ – it's
pretty long so I'm not going to do
the Arabic tonight as well because it can
get pretty lengthy.
He says Allah ﷻ, the Most High, has
commanded both justice and excellence.
Allah has commanded both.
Okay.
Shaykh, what do you think he means by
this?
What can we take from that?
So I think stepping back, Allah ﷻ has
legislated laws and legislations not for the sake
of them being the norm of practice, but
they're there to protect the weak and those
that can't stand up for themselves to make
sure that they are protected.
But in terms of our interaction with one
another, we should always be striving for higher
than that.
So don't just look at the baseline and
say, this is what I'm meant to do.
But this is a baseline so that no
one is harmed, but you always strive for
better.
So when Allah ﷻ has commanded justice and
excellence together, the justice is what the baseline
is and excellence is what you should be
striving for.
This is actually a concept that we hear
every Friday in the Jumu'ah khutbah.
We hear this phrase literally, إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ
بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ that Allah has commanded you with
the responsibility of justice and also with good
character, with ihsan.
So it's interesting that the sunnah of the
Prophet ﷺ was that every Friday, he would
take a moment in the sermon where everybody
was gathered, the only opportunity to speak to
everybody, and he would remind them of these
two requirements, community requirements.
It's almost like he was saying to them,
you can't really fit in here if you
don't get along with this.
There are some people in life that you're
not going to get along with.
There are some Muslims in life that you're
not necessarily going to be the best of
friends with.
Correct, Shaykh, or no?
Correct, 100%.
And in those relationships, I just saw some
people look at each other.
Do you not get along with the person
that you look at?
Usually people look at each other, but there
are some people in life.
You know, I one time heard one of
my teachers, Shaykh Hassan, he said something really,
really, like it was very relieving.
He said, you don't have to be best
friends with everybody.
And I think that that is like an
empowering realization.
Really, subhanAllah, the community is so big, what
Allah has commanded for us is that we
treat each other with courtesy, with love, with
communal common love.
But at the same time, there might be
some differences in personality and differences in persuasion
and preference that mean that you might not
get along with somebody.
I mean, have you ever traveled with a
friend that after you're done traveling with, you're
like, we're no longer friends?
Never again.
Yeah, because your style was so different?
Have you ever shared pizza and then found
out that the guy is eating chocolate in
between?
I've seen that.
I've seen that.
Those things end up being sometimes a realization
that you know what, maybe we're not as
close in these faculties or departments as we
thought we were.
But in those cases, you cannot be unjust.
You can't say that, well, I don't really
like this person, so I'm not going to
be fair to them.
Islam has the base requirement, like Shaykh Naveed
just said, justice, everybody deserves justice, Muslim or
non.
Doesn't matter what faith tradition, doesn't matter whether
or not you get along with them, doesn't
matter whether or not their life is diametrically
opposed to your moral value.
They deserve justice, right?
But then there's also the second level which
is Ihsan.
And that is what we're going to be
talking about a little bit more.
So he says that Allah Ta'ala commands
to this.
And then he says, justice is the cause
of salvation.
And he says the example of that is
like capital in trade.
On the other side, he says, excellence is
the cause of all success and felicity.
And it is likened to profit.
So when someone's in business, when you sell
something, you have your capital, right?
You have your investment, you have the revenue,
you have that.
But then you also, in order to be
a successful business, you also need to make
profit.
If a person is basically just breaking even,
then technically they are buying and they are
selling.
But are they really growing?
Are they really increasing?
They're not.
The only time a person increases as it
comes to the business example is when they
make profit.
And so he says here, operating at the
level of justice is not going to grow
you.
It's not going to grow you.
You only grow when you operate with the
level of Ihsan, excellence and beauty.
He says anyone who is satisfied with only
capital when trading cannot be considered a sane
person.
Anyone who is only satisfied just by breaking
even, if you're a business person, you're not
a very good business person.
This person is not sane.
He says the same then would apply to
all of a person's dealings with regards to
the hereafter.
The religious person, the person who is practicing
their faith should never confine themselves to justice
and avoiding injustice.
Rather, they should, and he says while shutting
the doors of excellence, rather they should reflect
on the verse of Allah subhana wa ta
'ala which says, and do good to others
as Allah has done good to you.
Shaykh, when you hear that verse, do good
in general, open-ended, as Allah has done
good to you, what reflections come to mind?
I know that there's probably many.
How far can I go back in terms
of this?
Please, Shaykh, I talk too much so cut
me off whatever.
No, no, no, I don't want to cut
you off.
I love what you're sharing.
So I think let's start off with why
do some people get along and some people
not get along?
I think understanding that is very, very important.
So we have a hadith in Sahih al
-Bukhari where the Prophet ﷺ says, الأَرْوَاحُ جُنُودٌ
مُجَنَّدًا فَمَا تَعَارَفَ مِنْهَا يَتَلَفُ وَمَا تَنَاكَرَ مِنْهَا
اِخْتَلَفْ that souls are like conscripted soldiers.
Those that got along in the realm of
the souls will get along in this world
and those that didn't get along in the
realm of the souls aren't going to get
along here.
So before Allah subhana wa ta'ala created
the physical bodies, He had created the souls
and He made them testify to the oneness
of Allah subhana wa ta'ala.
And it's interesting because when you look at
it, it's as if they had an opportunity
to hang out and chill while things were
being set up for their testimony, I guess
you could call it that.
And at that time certain souls got along.
And if those souls got along, naturally when
you meet someone that got along over there,
you'll click right away.
And this explains so much because other times
you'll meet someone for the first time and
you're like, dude, why are we not getting
along?
Like nothing's even happened, but for some reason
there's this aversion that we have and this
is a spiritual aversion from the realm of
the souls.
Not to say that they're good or bad,
but that's just the way it plays out.
And then Aisha radiallahu ta'ala, she sort
of explains this on how two women that
had met one another from Makkah and Medina,
they got along so easily because their souls
had met in the previous life.
Number two, with regards to business transactions, I
think what we're looking at over here is
how many people start a business for the
sake of breaking even.
Like no one does that.
So if you're striving just to be just,
what Imam al-Ghazali rahimahullah is saying, you're
striving just to save yourself from the hellfire,
but not necessarily go anywhere higher in Jannah.
And what you have to be striving for
is to go to those higher places in
Jannah, and that will only be through the
ihsan that you show.
So if you strive for ihsan, you're striving
for higher levels of Jannah.
If you're striving for adal, you're just striving
to be saved from the hellfire.
So what do you want to strive for?
You always want to strive for more.
Number three, I was talking about this transactional
relationship that we have.
You'll see that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,
He uses transactions as an example because that's
what people can relate to.
Like everyone has to transact on a daily
basis.
You buy bread, you buy milk, you do
all sorts of things.
So when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says,
إِنَّ اللَّهَ اشْتَرَى مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ أَنفُسَهُمْ وَأَمْوَالَهُمْ بِأَنَّ
لَهُمُ الْجَنَّةَ It seems very transactional that Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala has purchased from the
believers themselves and their wealth in exchange for
them having Jannah.
So this means that if you sacrifice your
life and your wealth for Jannah, you sacrifice
your life and your wealth for Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala that you'll get Jannah.
That's not a good understanding.
Because the Prophet ﷺ tells us that we
only enter Jannah based on the mercy of
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is telling
us when you put both of these evidences
together that when you sacrifice yourself and your
wealth, you're eligible for the mercy of Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
But the deeds that you do are what
will dictate how high you actually go.
So now when we get to this verse,
وَأَحْسِنْ كَمَا أَحْسَنَ اللَّهُ إِلَيْكَ It shows us
a very important rule of engagement.
There's one element, treat others like you want
yourself to be treated.
But there's a greater element of treat others
the way that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
treats you.
How does Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala treats
you?
He gives you even before you ask.
When you do ask, He gives you more.
When you do ask, He gives you better.
He's always looking out for you.
You may be asking for something, but it's
not good for you.
So He gives you something better instead.
That is the way we're meant to be
looking out for one another.
That's how you create bonds of relationship.
That's how you create family.
That's how you create community.
That's how you create society.
It is dictated upon this concept of اِرْحَمُوا
مَنْ فِى الدُّنْيَا يَرْحَمُوكُم مَنْ فِى السَّمَاءِ That
have mercy and compassion on the inhabitants of
the earth.
And the one who is above the heavens
will have mercy and compassion upon you.
And we learn this, you know, there's so
many narrations where the Prophet ﷺ tells us.
And this is again, this is why I
like Tuesday night.
Because we can say things like very, very
directly.
I think a lot of times people, they
want good friends.
Everybody wants good friends.
We all want to be good friends and
have good friends.
And sometimes we wonder in a situation why
we don't have the friendships that we yearn
for.
We wonder why the quality of those relationships
may be inconsistent.
And the Prophet ﷺ, he teaches us why
this is.
He tells us why.
He says that whoever, for example, is not
grateful to Allah, is not grateful to people,
they will not be grateful to Allah.
So there's like a reciprocal spiritual relationship.
A person cannot frame themselves as being like
a dichotomous individual.
I'm one way with Allah and I'm different
with people.
Generally speaking, you are who you are.
If you're grateful to people, you'll find yourself
being grateful to Allah.
If you're grateful to Allah, you'll find yourself
being grateful to people.
So when we find ourselves struggling in relationships,
the real question is how is my relationship
with Allah?
If that relationship is good, those traits that
are good in my relationship with Allah should
be cascading down into my worldly relationships as
well.
If you, for example, are stingy with your
time with Allah, you're probably going to be
stingy with your time with people.
The people that are the most generous and
charitable in situations, for example, like fundraisers or
whatnot, they also tend to be the most
generous and charitable with their time and with
their ear and with their shoulder and everything.
So a lot of times, subhanAllah, we think
of our relationship with Allah as being like
on a different sphere or realm.
It's true.
You don't treat the creation like you treat
the creator.
Of course, you always prioritize Allah.
But realize that the traits that we have
are the traits that we have.
And we can't really decide or dictate when
we turn them on or off.
They are what they are.
So there's that hadith, that narration.
There's also the Prophet ﷺ, he taught us,
generally speaking, or actually this is a statement
of Umar.
Umar, he said that the prayer is the
most important thing.
And he said that, فَمَن كَانَ لِصَلَاتِهِ مُضِيعًا
فَلِغَيْرِهَا أَضْيَعٌ He said that for the person
whose prayer is deficient or is weak or
is not there, everything else is going to
be weak too.
Everything else is going to be weak too.
You know, a lot of times people talk
about the purpose of religion.
Like, why do we need religion?
This is the big question these days.
Why do human beings need religion?
Imam Ghazali is really funny.
He's very sarcastic.
When you read his books, he's like, he's
basically, he has a lot of trolling.
I was going to call him a troll,
but that would be disrespectful.
He trolls people.
So he trolled a lot of the religious
critics, the critics of religion.
And he said that, you know, for these
people that say that religion is, what's the
word, outdated, right?
It's abrogated.
He said, you're abrogated.
It's like a person saying religion is dumb,
and you're like, you're dumb.
He basically said the same thing.
So what we learn, subhanAllah, is that Omar
رضي الله عنه is saying one of the
reasons why religion is necessary beyond, of course,
just the pure command of Allah, but one
of the wisdoms that we find that religious
presence is necessary is because it helps guide
relationships.
You know, one thing I like to tell
married couples, especially like these newlyweds, and by
the way, I don't like making fun of
newlyweds.
I find that a lot of people who
are married for a while, how long have
you been married for, Shaykh?
18 years.
Yeah, wow, mashaAllah.
I got 16.
Alhamdulillah, Allah Akbar, mashaAllah.
How old were you when you got married?
25.
Oh, okay, okay, mashaAllah.
So, don't do the math, that's impolite.
Everyone stop right now.
It's like looking up someone's house on Zillow
when you get their address.
Don't do it.
I think there's like a technicality.
There's a difference between when I got my
niqah done and when I got my civil
registration done.
So I think let's go with 17 years.
17 years, okay, okay.
Yeah, Shaykh, you look 30.
You're great, mashaAllah.
Allah Akbar.
So I've been married 16 years, alhamdulillah.
I got married in college.
So I got married when I was 20
and now I'm 36, alhamdulillah.
And I don't like, when I meet newlyweds,
there's like the uncles.
They're like, oh, enjoy it because it's only
going downhill from here.
And you're like, what's wrong with you?
Like, freaking jerk.
I remember we got married.
The uncles were like, it won't last, beta.
I'm like, what is wrong with you?
And a lot of that, subhanAllah, is just
projection, right?
It's just projection.
But there is one thing that I do
tell newlyweds which I think is important.
And Shaykh, you do a lot of, I
know, marriage counseling work.
So you can tell me how accurate this
is in Canada, right?
Here in America.
No, but you can tell me.
I'm pretty sure it's universal, which is that
marriage is the comprehensive coming together of so
many different personality and skills, personality traits and
skills.
100%.
And of course, whenever anything is novel and
new, we actually talked about this earlier today,
the difference between nuance and novelty, right?
Whenever anything is novel or new, you need
very little motivation to keep it going because
the novelty of it is exciting.
So this isn't, I'm not taking a shot
at newlyweds.
I'm just saying it's the nature of everything.
In fact, you can share what we spoke
about earlier.
When you get a new job, right, there's
novelty.
When you get a new car, there's novelty.
When you get new clothes, there's novelty.
And then after who knows how much time,
for each one it's probably different, the novelty
wears off and you notice other things.
So if you are working at your job,
after a few weeks, they're like, hey, remember
that whole remote thing?
We need you to come back into work.
And you're like, but my friend doesn't have
to come back into work.
Or you get this new outfit, you like
it, and then all of a sudden you
just start, Instagram knows you, and Instagram puts
the Vela Hijab sponsored ads, and all of
a sudden now the new stuff you got
is no longer good.
It's the same thing in relationships.
It's the same thing with marriage, with friendships.
And Sheikh said something beautiful earlier today.
Can you share the difference in novelty and
then what actually people should be looking for?
I will briefly.
I just want to share something I just
want to talk about right now.
Yes, yes, please.
There is a novelty when you first get
married.
And it's inevitable that you will go through
a discovery phase in terms of who you
are and who your spouse is.
And that may actually be turbulent because you're
still trying to figure a lot of stuff
out after that novelty phase is over.
But if you can ride that out, and
if you can be patient, there's a new
phase that comes about, and that is a
layer of depth.
Like, you know, they say onions have layers,
but I think that's a terrible example.
The example I want to share with you,
I didn't mean that to be funny, I
was real.
No, you're right.
Because every time someone says that, but they're
trying to frame it positively, I'm like, I'm
not trying to eat an onion raw.
This is, if marriage is a gift from
Allah, then there's multiple wrapping papers that are
on it.
And every once in a while, after, you
know, decades of marriage, you're removing one layer
of wrapping paper at a time.
And it's like a new gift that is
presenting itself.
And this could be those beautiful characteristics, this
could be those beautiful insights, this could be
the generosity that they show you beyond just
the physical generosity that we see.
And just to add to this, because I
know not everybody here is married, but this
is every relationship.
100%.
I mean, the more, for example, you speak
to your parents, right?
I mean, even with me, like, I'll take
my kids out, and I think I know
my kids.
Yeah.
And then my kids, like, ask questions, and
I'm like, wow.
And we have a conversation, and I'm like,
it's like they opened up a new realm
for me.
Or you spent, we framed the whole friends
trip as a bad thing, but you travel
with a friend, and you get closer as
a result of that.
And you're like, wow.
And you come back now more bonded, right,
than you were before.
Why?
Because, like you said, the depth is there.
Yeah, so I would say, look, relationships require
patience, and you just have to put in
the work, you have to put in the
time, and whatever seems difficult will become easy
once again.
So for those of you that are struggling,
understand that there's a lot of gifts awaiting
for you if you can just wait it
out and work together on that.
Now, with regards to this concept of novelty
and nuance, you start a new job, you
start a new relationship, things are new and
exciting, but if you don't know the why
and you don't know the what, that novelty
clearly wears out very, very quickly, and then
you're jumping from one thing to the next.
And I think that is one of the
crises of our times.
When we're constantly having instantaneous gratification, this means
novelty runs out even quicker than it used
to.
So you have to focus on controlling the
instantaneous gratification, especially in those things that have
very high consequences.
So like, okay, you're watching a reel, you're
not liking it, you can jump onto the
next reel.
There's a very little consequence that's there.
But now when you're in a relationship, whether
it's a friend, whether it's a parent, whether
it's a spouse, whether it's a child, there
are severe consequences to neglecting that relationship, and
you have to take it a lot more
seriously.
So what is the nuance that you can
develop in the relationship that replaces the novelty
so you still have enjoyment and fulfillment that
you would get in something that is new?
So what you end up looking at, what
are parts of the relationship that you enjoy
that you can build on, right?
So for example, you and your spouse love
reading the same genre of books or watching
the same genre of movies, right?
So doing something like that that you can
deepen the relationship with, that you reward yourself
with at the end of the week, right?
So you like reading.
Actually, I don't even know, what are people
reading these days?
Remember?
Yeah, today.
It's a really philosophically romantic couple.
You ever thought about the philosophers?
No, I mean, I was thinking of the
book Divine Love, right?
Oh, yeah, okay.
Yeah, yeah, right?
So that was like the most recent book
that I thought became like viral amongst Muslim
couples and stuff like that.
So that being said, so at the end
of the week, you're done your work week,
you want to spend time chilling together.
Don't do something mindless where you're not interacting
with one another, but do something mindful that
you're both enjoying.
And the key thing is you're both enjoying
and finding fulfillment in it, right?
And that is how the relationship grows, where
you prefer the other over yourself, right?
And you want to do things that will
be pleasing to the other.
And I think we completely forget about the
spiritual dimension of relationships.
When Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, وَأَحْسِنْ
كَمَا أَحْسَنَ اللَّهُ إِلَيْكَ Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala creates this worldly paradise for you, right?
Because there's an ukhrawi paradise that is waiting
for you for all the good that Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala is going to reward
you with.
But Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala creates a
dunyawi paradise for you for the goodness that
you show to other people.
And this is why someone smiling at you
makes you feel good.
This is why when you hold the door
open for someone and they say thank you,
it makes you feel good.
These are the smaller paradises that Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala has created in this life
as a result of the good that you
do towards others that is selfless.
You take that into a relationship at a
much deeper level, pleasing your spouse, spending time
with your spouse, preferring your spouse, being generous
with your words, being generous with your time,
being generous with your thoughts.
Like it's so easy to say when your
wife asks you or a friend asks you
what's on your mind and you're like nothing.
I feel like that's the worst cop-out
ever.
Because sometimes that may be true there's nothing
on your mind, you're just like lost in
thought or whatever.
But I would say a lot of times
we are thinking about things we just don't
want to share and then we cop out
by oh nothing's on our mind.
If you can force yourself to speak about
what's on your mind, be vulnerable and trust
in Allah that inshallah you're in a safe
space with whoever you're with.
Allow them to share their reflections on your
thoughts and you'll see that's how you deepen
the relationship.
At one point or another someone needs to
take the first step of being vulnerable.
At one point in the relationship someone needs
to take the step of being more grateful.
At one point in the relationship someone needs
to take the first step in being more
selfless.
That's how relationships are going to grow.
And this is why the Prophet ﷺ says
when he talks about the status of relationships
in two people he would say وَخَيْرُهُمَا مَنْ
يَبْدَوْا بِالسَّلَامِ Right?
The one who is better amongst the two
people is the one who begins with the
Salam.
Because that person had to be vulnerable.
We've all been in a gathering where we've
seen someone that we recognized and in our
mind it's like who's going to start?
Do I go to them or do they
come to me?
And the Prophet ﷺ here he said the
reward the better amongst the two is the
one who gets up and goes and initiates.
Because that initiation is that opening of the
door of vulnerability.
Right?
Because the ego is on the other side
of that.
The ego is the one that says no
they'll come to me.
No they should come to me.
My wife was telling me something that I
thought was really amazing with regards to this
deepening of the connection with friends.
And I think one of the things that
we're dealing with now Shaykh primarily is the
crisis of loneliness.
And I think that there's a lot of
people I mean some of the questions we
get people feel like I'm surrounded by people
but I'm so alone.
And I think that's exactly what you're mentioning
which is it's not that you're lonely you
just don't have the depth of connection in
those relationships.
So you have a lot of surface connections.
You have a lot of things.
But you don't you have a lot of
people who like your statuses.
Right?
You have a lot of people who text
you everyday.
But the depth of the relationship is not
there.
And one of the gatekeepers to depth can
be honestly finances.
Because a lot of times when people make
plans those plans the barrier to those plans
is like let's go get something to eat.
And realistically if you want to create and
cultivate a relationship it can be expensive.
And so somebody has to create the counterculture
now which is in order for us to
have depth we don't have to spend money.
You know we can sit together and we
can enjoy each other's company.
We don't have to spend money on a
nine dollar latte.
Because not everybody can afford 45 dollars a
week for bad coffee.
Right?
Really.
And so my wife was saying that her
friends some of her friends now they kind
of have this pact that they made where
the expectation for getting together is that there
is going to be no food consumed.
And there will be no now this doesn't
mean that a person will be shunned and
excommunicated if they suggest going to get a
coffee or something.
But what it means is we need to
get away from the expectation which is let's
hang out.
Okay where do you want to go eat?
Because for a lot of people and especially
for people that are trying to figure out
especially in this economy how to live and
how to live in a way that is
moderate with their finances that is one of
the barriers to entry.
It's subhanallah and you'll see that a lot
of times when people do this they focus
way more on the experience of the food
and of the drinks and everything than they
do on the person that they're sitting across
the table with.
I mean some of the most meaningful relationships
that I've had and that I continue to
have till today are people that I go
to Isha and Isha is at like 9
o'clock or I go to Maghreb and
Maghreb is at like 8.30 or something
or 7.30 and in my head I'm
like I'm going to leave right away.
But then we catch ourselves standing in the
parking lot by one of our cars just
talking for an hour.
Subhanallah.
And then we you know start getting the
text messages or we start you know where
are you and this and you realize man
like in order for our relationship to be
this meaningful we actually didn't need to spend
any money.
Right?
Apparently someone really agrees with me over there.
So but the point being is that as
we seek to cultivate depth in relationship ask
yourself what implicit financial bias you have and
what financial gate is keeping you from having
those cultivated relationships.
I know some people for example that feel
very left out because they can't afford to
go on the trips with their friends and
those friends come back with the trips and
now all the jokes all the references do
you remember that one night?
Do you remember in Tulum?
And there's that one guy and that one
girl who are like I couldn't go.
But and the people it's almost like the
lack of awareness is its own epidemic.
Right?
And so as Sheikh is mentioning here the
importance of being vulnerable and being you know
deep in your relationships we also have to
make sure that as a community we don't
create an environment where people are expected to
spend to have friends.
I think that that is a huge gate
that we are we don't realize but it's
impacting us deeply.
Right?
Now Imam Ghazali to finish the passage and
then we'll go to some Q&A.
He says by excellence we mean doing that
which is beneficial to the person that one
is dealing with.
This is the part that I read.
Without this being obligatory you know I think
a lot of times in relationships whether it
be friendships whether it be co-working relationships
whether it be marriage you get to a
point where people start saying they keep score.
And they say well I would do this
but they never do this for me.
I sent you a meme you didn't send
me a meme back.
What did you say?
I said I sent you a meme.
Yeah exactly.
Right?
The biggest now in society is not responding
to the meme.
Of course.
Right?
Why did you like there's a meme you
didn't respond they say are you mad at
me?
No man I have two kids.
You know what I mean?
Like and so and you have two kids
too.
What are you doing sending memes?
So anyways but the point being is there
and I was actually with I was at
I was at someone's house and there was
a list of people that were invited and
you know whatever and dinner finished and then
some people started to leave and I think
somebody else brought up a name of another
family.
I said why didn't you invite them?
You know you usually see them whatever.
They said yeah you know we invited them
a couple times and they never invited us
back so we cut them off.
And I'm Egyptian so we can't keep quiet
in those moments.
And so I remember saying is this a
restaurant or your home?
And I said if you want to be
if you want to have that type of
relationship with your friends where you're only going
to socialize with people that invite you back
then don't call that friendship.
Call that business.
Right?
Is it the type of thing that you're
only going to invite people?
And this pervades everything.
It pervades everything.
And this is what Imam Ghazali is saying
here.
If you're going to live your life that
way you're going to go bankrupt socially very
quickly.
Sure you have a business but your business
fails and it actually it's actually low-key
it sucks.
And he says that your business is going
to become bankrupt very quickly.
So he says don't operate based on the
premise of that which is obligatory.
He says that's already dealt with with justice.
And if you live your life in that
way you're never going to be happy.
And he says it's already been mentioned.
So Sheikh this is I think something that
is very very key and critical and as
we say every week and I'd love for
you to share some thoughts on this.
This book the reason why I think it's
so beautiful for us to share together is
because there's no pointing the finger at anybody
else.
Throughout every passage so far that we've read
it's as if the author is pointing the
finger back at us and saying you have
to think deeply about yourself.
When you look at people complaining to you
about relationships whether it be marriage or otherwise
how much of it do you think is
solved by self-reflection?
I think a lot of it.
But there's so much to add on this.
Again please allow me to step back.
Yeah yeah of course.
So when we speak about loneliness and you
know people having connections but not really connecting
deeply there's a couple of things to look
at.
Number one is what is our relationship with
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala like?
And what I mean by that are you
committing sin that you feel you constantly have
to hide and put up a mask that
you can't let people really see you?
That will be a hindrance between you connecting
deeply with people because you're constantly afraid of
them knowing the real you.
Number two is that we have to also
understand that the way we are brought up
as children has a huge impact on who
we become as teenagers.
So if we're not you know shown love
and not you know brought love to ourselves
by our parents it has a huge impact
on our self-esteem and the way we
view relationships.
But at that point you will have to
logically convince yourself to emotionally heal Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala loves me and the believers
love me and I'm worthy of love and
put yourself out there.
You can't let your self-esteem you know
prevent you from putting yourself out there and
developing deeper connections.
The third point over here is who are
the people that people like?
Like what type of people are they?
They are the people that don't speak bad
about others.
They are the people that are generous with
their time and generous with their words.
They are the ones that will go out
of their way to help you and they
will also be go out of their way
to be there for you in your time
of your need.
When you have a happy moment they will
be just as happy as you are for
yourself.
Right?
They are a part of your team those
are the people that you love.
And when you do this I genuinely believe
that is how you will develop those deeper
connections.
Right?
So figure out your whole situation with Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala first.
Figure out your whole psychological situation thereafter and
then focus on the characteristics that you want
to develop that actually a good friend would
actually have.
And I think that's how we are going
to develop deeper connections.
Like it's so beautiful that you can come
out here on a Tuesday night with like
-minded people that want to develop deeper relationships.
Now you got to put yourself out there
and connect with people.
Right?
and you take this three-step process with
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala you can get
there.
Now going back to the question relationships always
have like a pre, during and post.
Right?
Hindsight is always 20-20.
I could have done something better.
We get that.
But I think there's so much importance over
here that if you start off every relationship
interacting with the person for the sake of
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Right?
Let's go back to my meme example because
I feel I have trauma here.
Like I send people so many memes but
no one responds to me.
I'm sorry.
No, it's not you bro.
I love you man.
I love you.
I told you not to bring it up
to me.
Like why are you sending the meme?
Right?
Genuinely, like are you sending it for the
sake of just discussing the meme next time
we meet in person or talk?
That's a valid intention.
You're allowed to do that.
Are you sending it for the sake of
bringing a smile to someone's face?
That's a higher intention.
That's even better.
Whoever brings you know, a smile to a
believer's face has done a good deed.
And I think as you focus on your
intentionality behind why you're doing things it makes
life so much easier to handle.
And the more focused you get on worldly
reward and compensation the more pain you will
feel.
Right?
So if you're doing it I'm sharing a
meme because I want them to send a
meme back.
You're setting yourself up for failure because you
have no rights over the other person.
But if you're doing it for the sake
of oh, I want to bring a smile
to this person's face whether they send you
a meme back or not you've already fulfilled
your goal.
Right?
And you can feel good about yourself and
you will feel good about yourself.
So make the transaction with Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala as opposed to the transaction with
the human being.
You transact with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
it's a profitable trade.
You transact with the human being it could
go either way.
Right?
It's a gamble.
So I think if you focus on relationships
from this perspective in advance that's great.
Now during the relationship I think apologizing first
and thanking people are the two most important
things.
Like in relationships you need to learn to
apologize even when you haven't done anything wrong.
Right?
Just for the sake of validating people's emotions
and experiences and letting them know that you
care about the relationship it's so important.
And at the flip side of this is
going out of your way to appreciate people.
Right?
Everyone wants to be appreciated.
Everyone wants to be recognized.
If you can do that that's the other
half of the battle.
And then in a post-relationship world a
relationship has ended you're doing like a post
-op in terms of why did this relationship
break down?
What went wrong?
What could I have done better?
A lot of it will often come back
to someone got too greedy in the relationship.
Someone wanted to bite off more than they
could chew.
Or someone violated a major violation in Islam.
Right?
That's what will come down too often.
And if you can prevent those things before
the post-op happens you'll save the relationship
and you'll actually have a very fruitful relationship.
There was a scholar I think that I
read where he said that basically the end
of every relationship can be traced back to
a major sin being committed.
Whether it was backbiting whether it was lying
whether it was suspicion any of these things
it always goes back to a major sin.
You don't see this isn't talking about people
not being as close anymore but this is
like a relationship breaking down.
Right?
Like there's a difference between not driving that
car anymore and your car breaking.
So he was saying that.
May Allah protect us.
So we have some questions.
I know that Isha Adhan is in we
have about 15 more minutes 60 more minutes
before we should probably wrap up.
Can we do some questions?
Inshallah.
Can I leave in like 10 minutes?
Of course.
We can all leave in 10 minutes.
Where are you going?
Can we go with?
I'm joking.
I'm joking.
Alright.
We'll wrap up in 10 minutes then.
So we'll do a little bit of a
lightning round.
The first question is about marriage.
I'm so surprised.
What does it mean if a man asks
for Kitab or Nikah but says he's not
ready for the wedding.
Is this common and how should I interpret
the intentions if it leads to arguments?
I'm so happy you're here.
Can I just I'm just so happy you're
here right now.
I love you too.
Because this is usually I love you but
I'm also just happy you're here because this
is usually my burden and now I just
get to read.
This is just like me reading.
I feel like Mr. Rogers.
Got you.
What do you do if a person says
they're ready for Nikah but they're not ready
for the Waleema?
Have a conversation.
Like why is that complicated?
Hey.
I'm so happy you're here.
As in let's sit and talk.
Like if you're about to get married and
you're nervous, that's cool.
That's fine.
But what are you nervous about?
Like let's talk about that.
Or maybe there's a financial component here.
I'm kind of reading into this and thinking
is there a cost to the wedding?
The Nikah is usually very simple.
Right?
And maybe there's a cost to the wedding
that is being imposed upon this person.
Perhaps.
Right?
The expectation is there.
I also think it could be like commitment
issues.
It could be intimacy issues.
Could be.
For sure.
Could be a variety of things.
Again, like what you and I are doing,
we're just assuming.
Yeah, exactly.
And if you're on the opposite end of
this, you're just making assumptions with no verification.
And honestly, it's not my marriage.
So like you figure it out.
But no.
You know what they say in medicine, like
the most, like usually the most correct diagnosis
is the most obvious one.
Right?
So people usually go to WebMD and they're
like, you won't believe what I have.
And it's like, no, no.
You just have a cough.
I feel like when I read this, and
you're right, it could be a slew of
things.
I would start with the conversation about, you
know, what do you think is the reason
why you're ready for Nikah but not ready
for a wedding?
Yeah.
So I think, I love to make things
practical as much as possible.
Yeah.
So go up to the individual and tell
them, look, you know, I really care about
you and I really want this to work
out.
And this is a safe space.
Tell me what's going on.
And let's just sit and talk.
Right?
And you have to come across as non
-judgmental.
You have to come across as very easygoing.
And make dua for them.
Look, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala unite
us upon goodness and make things easy for
all of us.
You know, let's make this happen.
What do we need to do?
We're a team working on a problem together.
It's not your problem.
It's not my problem.
It's our problem.
We're working on it together.
And I think people are more likely to
open up when it's like a team effort
as opposed to, oh, it's your problem.
You've got to solve it.
I'll see you at the wedding.
Right?
See, I would say that this is a
good trial run into figuring out how you're
going to deal with inevitable disagreements that are
going to happen in your marriage.
So may Allah make it easy inshaAllah.
The idea of getting to know someone for
marriage makes me nervous.
Not me.
I'm fine.
Is there a dua I can say to
overcome this?
Is that normal to be nervous at this
grown age melting emoji face?
Getting into any relationship can be nerve-wracking.
Yeah, absolutely.
But over here, it's about figuring out, again,
your why.
Why are you getting to know this person?
It's not for the sake of doing anything
haram.
It's for the sake of fulfilling half of
your faith.
And sometimes you have to overcome the things
that you're afraid of in order to achieve
those greater things.
Right?
Yeah, let's quote Optimist Prime here.
Fate rarely comes upon a people at the
time of their choosing.
Right?
If you want to get the person that
you desire so badly, you got to get
to know them.
That's just the way that it works.
So that being said, I think, again, a
three-step process is try to understand why
you're afraid.
Like, where is this coming from?
And see if there's a way to troubleshoot
that.
Number two is ask Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala for strength.
Right?
Musa alayhi salam, when he used to make
his famous dua, رَبِّ اشْرَحْ لِي صَدْرِي وَيَسْتِرْلِي
and make things easy for me.
Expand for me my chest and make things
easy for me.
So allow me to be able to carry
this burden but also make it easy for
me.
It's not just about carrying the burden but
asking Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for ease
as well.
And then number three, what I would say
is ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to
beautify everything that you see.
Who doesn't want to be in a beautiful
world?
Who doesn't want to be exposed to beautiful
people?
Who doesn't want to be in beautiful experiences?
You ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for
that sort of world view and that sort
of lens and it becomes a lot more
enjoyable to be there.
JazakAllah khairan.
Okay.
What should I do if people are bad
-mouthing me?
I don't want to defend myself or speak
ill of them yet they keep getting in
my business and ruining my relationships.
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu Akbar.
So I think there's two things to look
at over here.
Number one, did you do something wrong?
Number two, did you not do something wrong?
Let's start off with the latter.
If you didn't do anything wrong, the general
tradition is leave it up to Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala.
He will defend you and He will take
care of you.
This is just noise that you need to
ignore and move on with your life.
Those people that leave you won't want to
be in your life anyways.
Right?
Now, if you did do something wrong, this
is the big one.
You got to fess up to it and
say, look, I'm really sorry.
I messed up.
I hurt you.
I did X, Y, and Z.
You start off with the apology.
Number two, how do I repair the relationship?
How can you and I become friends again?
What can I do to make it up
to you?
Give them space to figure that out.
That's such an important question.
You can't be like, okay, you have 60
seconds to tell me how we fix this
relationship because I got to run.
You have to give them time to figure
out what repairs look like.
Right?
And how you can fix that.
And then number three, eventually realize that not
all relationships are going to go back to
the way that they were before.
And you have to be okay with that.
Just like not all people will get along
instantaneously.
Not all people will get along forever.
We have a beautiful example of the Prophet
ﷺ with Wahshi.
Wahshi accepted Islam and yet the Prophet ﷺ
still felt pain in his heart towards what
he did to his cousin.
And that's okay.
That's a part of being human.
But it shows us that not everyone needs
to be best friends.
But again, we can't be unjust towards people.
So that's how I would answer that.
How do you make friends in your 30s?
So I think we sort of answered that,
right?
Yeah.
So I would say like make sure you
have nothing to hide.
Live an open life to the best of
your ability.
Do like a self-assessment in terms of
do you have self-esteem issues?
How do we work on that self-esteem
and that confidence?
And then develop those characteristics that are likable
towards people.
And hang around in beautiful places like this.
I was going to say I think community
is important.
I also think people the challenge when you're
30 is like you tend to be like
a fixed personality type.
And then you meet people and then they
want to like make plans to do something
and you don't see that as being something
that you do.
So for example, somebody is like oh let's
go you know play volleyball.
And you're like oh I've never played volleyball
in my life.
And so you're like no I'm good.
And you miss out on that opportunity.
But really it wasn't about the sport.
It was about the chance to interact and
spend time.
Right?
And you may not even have to go
and do the actual activity.
Just being there being present.
You know laughing enjoying the company etc.
That's fine.
I think a lot of times we set
ourselves up for expectations of what friendship looks
like.
When in fact it can be a lot
less demanding and stressful than we realize.
Right?
It's really more about presence than anything else.
Are you thinking about me playing volleyball?
No bro.
I'm just like I just wanted someone to
play video games with.
Yeah.
That's all I wanted.
So it's one of those things where I
think like we put these expectations that are
almost you know almost too ideal.
Yeah.
When it's in reality presence is the most
important aspect of any relationship.
Including making friends.
Are you going to be a present person?
Those are the things that are there.
And obviously making sure that there's things between
you that you share that you agree on
things like that inshallah.
We'll do one or two more and then
we'll the plant between you two is dying.
Please water it.
We actually did water it.
I think right here it got a lot
of sun in the past couple of days
so that's why it looks like it's dying
but thank you for that incredible advice and
the way you phrased it inshallah.
There's a couple about like marrying somebody and
then their mother being a problem.
Should you still marry a man if you
feel that their mother doesn't approve?
Is it normal for a man's mother to
ask other families who have previously pursued you
for marriage about you?
It's spicy.
Okay, so I guess the first one should
you marry a person if you feel their
mom doesn't approve?
I think this is one of those questions
where a general answer is usually not the
right way to go.
There's case by case but Sheikh, I'll defer
to you.
I appreciate that.
I think everyone's waiting and really interested.
So, again, I think it's not fair to
give a very simplistic answer and say, you
know, it's all about compatibility between you and
the spouse.
Marriage is more, you know, than just that.
So I would say, let's find out why
she doesn't like you.
Right?
Let's start with that.
Is there something that really needs to be
fixed?
If there is, let's fix it.
If there isn't, then let's move on to,
okay, it's between the man and myself.
If we get along really, really well and
he thinks that he's gonna be able to
navigate this relationship together with my help, then,
bismillah, let's go forward with it.
But if it's like, you know what, this
is gonna be too catastrophic for him and
he's not gonna be able to handle it,
then even though I may want something and
we may want something, it's not gonna be
a good fit.
May Allah ﷻ replace it with something better
for both of us.
There we go.
That's good.
Alhamdulillah.
And then the last thing I wanna talk
about tonight is I'm not sure if you
heard, but our brother, Marcellus, was unjustly murdered
today by the criminal injustice system.
I don't know if you saw, but Shaykh
Omar shared and many others that his last
statement was that, I praise Allah in all
situations.
And that's the last thing that he wrote
as his last statement before being executed by
the state of Missouri.
So we ask that Allah ﷻ accept him
as a shaheed.
We ask that Allah ﷻ accept him and
that the moment that his life, his soul
was taken from his body, that he was
shown the gardens of paradise and that the
angel of death came to him in a
beautiful way and released him gently where he
felt no pain.
We ask that Allah ﷻ took him by
means of the angels up to the highest
level of the heavens to see his place
and his abode in Jannah.
And we ask that in his resting place
in the barzakh, we ask that Allah ﷻ
give him nothing but pleasure and relief and
comfort for all of the injustice that he
was subjected to in this life.
And we ask Allah ﷻ to not hold
us to account for the inability and the
weaknesses that we have in serving our brothers
and sisters who are in systems of oppression
and then not being able to free them,
Ya Rabb.
So if you have any thoughts or any
du'as you want to make, then we
can, inshallah, conclude after that.
No, subhanAllah.
I think it was really, really important that
we spoke about that today as we were
talking about justice.
So I think it's really important.
And I think this is a good point
to conclude on.
In this particular case, both the prosecutor and
the defense said there's holes and gaps in
the evidence.
Can we please stop this execution?
Yet the judge still went ahead with it.
You have both the prosecutor and the defense
telling there's a problem here.
Don't go forward with it.
But the judge is just fixed in their
ways.
So what you take away from this is
a constant reminder to ourselves that this world
was never meant to be a permanent abode
of happiness.
It was never meant to be the ultimate
source of justice.
It was never meant to be this perfect
place.
It's okay to, you know, forget about that
sometimes because it's human that we forget.
But you should never believe that you will
find justice truly in this life.
You should never believe that you will truly
be happy in this life.
All those things are for jannah.
And all those things are for the hereafter.
And that is what our faith brings to
us.
We're talking about relevancy of faith.
Imagine you had to live in this sort
of world with no faith.
Like what happens with this person when you
have no faith?
Faith brings you solace.
Religion brings you comfort.
It brings you, makes you find purpose and
meaning in all the hardship that you face.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make things
easy for his family and for the Ummah
of Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
Ameen.
And we have full faith in believing that
Allah ta'ala does not wrong anybody.
Of course.
And that we believe that even though humans
wrong one another, Allah replaces the wrongs and
He compensates for the wrongs and injustices that
we experience.
So, you know, one of my teachers, he
said, because we would ask him about things
like Palestine.
We would ask him and say, how can
we, as Muslims, understand this?
Allah is the all-powerful.
He's the all-knowing.
Like, why?
Why do these things happen?
And he said, you need to believe that
Allah is giving them something that makes whatever
this life could have been in its best
form look like nothing.
And that's why when Allah describes Jannah, He
describes the believers in Paradise and He says
that they say that this life was nothing.
And the Hadith say that they can't even
remember the joys they had in this life.
They can't even remember it.
Because by comparison, it completely and totally disappeared.
It was eviscerated.
Right?
You think of the best joys you have
now compared to the joys you had when
you were a child and those joys now,
they completely erase some of those memories because
there's so much more in their quality and
quantity and substance.
And so we have full faith that the
moment that our brother, that his soul was
taken from his body tonight, that he was
in a state of complete and total bliss
and comfort and ease.
We ask Allah Ta'ala to, again, reward
his family for their patience and to reward
him for his sacrifice and his patience as
he sat there and had his life taken
for an unjust reason, Ya Rabb.
BarakAllahu feekum, everybody.
We appreciate you coming through.
Shaykh, of course, with your busy schedule and
everything that you had, you've been so far
away from your family for so long.
So we really, really appreciate it.
We hope that this was a home away
from home.
And JazakAllah khairan.
We can't wait to have you back.
BarakAllahu feekum.
We're going to, inshaAllah, allow Shaykh Naveed to
head out because he does have some things
he has to do.
He's got to go give salam to some
people here.
So we'll go ahead and say salam to
him as a group, everybody.
InshaAllah.
And like I said, the isha prayer is
just going to be in 10 minutes.
So we'll go ahead and wrap up with
that.
So if you can help me by putting
the back jacks up to the front.
And then for those of you who sat
in the black folding chairs to help us
by folding them and putting them on the
dollies.
JazakAllah khairan.
Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
Oh, it is?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Isha time is happening right now.
So if you can forget the chairs and
go.
Forget the chairs and go.
It changed today.
I'm so sorry.
It's 8.45. I think they waited for
a few minutes for us.
So you can just forget all the chairs.
We will take care of them.
And you can head over.
Salamualaikum.