AbdelRahman Murphy – ICNA-MAS Convention 2022

			I
		

			said I like
		

			sweet lady wood from the dilla salatu salam ala Rasulillah who are Eddie he was hobby hedge Marine.
		

			It's an honor to be here and Hamdulillah I did not pull the fire alarm to escape my session. Those
who said they saw me leaving.
		

			It was just a good opportunity to use the bathroom. But anyways
		

			you know, these these moments are very special moments. I was just talking to somebody downstairs in
the bazaar. I brought my my family this year, my son musos, five, my daughter, Eman is three. My
wife and I we all came here as a family this year And subhanAllah I'll say something that I think a
lot of us don't realize I grew up going to conferences in Chicago. Chicago for many years was the
mainstay for ISNA. It's still till today, mass IQ. Now, of course, the sister conference of this
conference is held annually in Chicago every year, and I grew up,
		

			you know, I would say spoiled by the fact that every year, every few months, we knew that there
would be some large like massive Muslim gathering, where everybody in the gathering would know how
to say my name correctly, everybody would be able to respond to my set. Um, and like Musa was
shocked to find out that the pepperoni on the pizza here is hot out.
		

			And I joke about that, but in a in a weird way. It's very serious. The gatherings where you come for
a weekend, you know, to Baltimore or to Chicago, wherever you travel for these conferences. And on a
smaller scale, what YM does, is provide an environment that is safe, and that is meaningful, and
nurturing for the identity. And for the heart of Muslims.
		

			I don't know if Musa is going to remember anything from this trip. I don't know if he learned
anything. My daughter, Iman, I don't know. I mean, they got their face painted. That was pretty
cool. But beyond that, the one value that I think touches me the most, is that for 72 hours, as they
walk through a hallway of a public building, they're going to look and see other people who share
their name, who share their belief, share their faith, and have love for each other for the sake of
Allah alone.
		

			These moments are very valuable.
		

			Don't let this day or this session or this weekend pass you by, without saying Hamdulillah
		

			that Allah Allah gave you this opportunity to come together for his sake. And even if you don't
bring home anything or remember anything, these moments will be things that you cherish. I'm 34
years old now. My conferences when I was younger, I used to go when I was not even a teenager when I
was 1011 12. I used to pull fire alarms just like that kid who probably pulled this one.
		

			Right. He's definitely out there. And he's definitely Arab anyways.
		

			Just say, Look, I'm Arab. I can say that I was the bad Arab kid that was pulling fire alarms. I know
you guys don't think I'm a convert my dad converted. Okay. So I wanted to share just a small
reminder, I don't want to take too long. I know that Oscar is coming up. And I don't think that
there's any value in talking for like an hour, hour and a half. So I'm just going to the Prophet SAW
sent him said, you know, my fellow AKA, hate America photo, Allah, that whatever is short, and is
and it's sufficient. It's enough. It's better than that which is too much and it distracts. So
there's a beautiful Hadith of the Prophet SAW Salem. One of the gifts he was given amongst many was
		

			the gift known as Joe Emil Kalam, which is a ability a talent, a God given gifts to be able to keep
things brief and to the point and this hadith that I'm going to share with you, let's narrate it.
		

			And the prophets also lamb has said in this hadith is one of those examples.
		

			There was a man who came to the Prophet SAW Salem Jah Rajon Isla Nabi SallAllahu, Salah Salama, Kyla
Rasul Allah, this guy shows up in the gathering of the prophets all sudden he says, O Messenger of
Allah, that Lulea Allah I'm Ellen either I meant to who are happening Allah what have been the nurse
says please yeah, to sue Allah. Guide me and point me to an action. A single thing that I can do
that if I do it, I will earn and I will become
		

			beloved to Allah. But at the same time, I will become beloved to everyone around me.
		

			Teach me something that will make me beloved, that I won't have any haters, Allah will not hate me
and people won't hate me. So the first thing that's interesting about this hadith that I want to
stop here and pause
		

			is that Allah subhanaw taala created us. And innately, we have a need, we have an appetite, to feel
number one, and to experience Allah's love. It's something that we yearn for. But also number two,
the love of people,
		

			the acceptance of people.
		

			And this is something that we need to come to terms with. Now, we don't do everything that we do.
Because we want to obtain the love of people. We don't give up our principles and our beliefs and
our behaviors because we want to be liked. But there is nothing wrong with a person wanting to be
appreciated, and wanting to have good standing with their friends and their family in their
community. It's part of the fitrah that Allah Tada designed this with. So this man is coming to the
Prophet SAW Suleiman, he's asking him about how to attain a certain level or a status in life. And
both of these things are important to have a good spiritual quality of life. But what you find is
		

			that he doesn't group them together.
		

			Right? He says, give me guidance to something that will give me the love of Allah, and then will
give me the love of people. So although it's natural to want to be loved, right, and have people
tell you that hey, I appreciate you, I love you. It's normal. It's natural, right? But at the same
time we learn from this question. And the answer the Prophet SAW sudden, and likewise, is that what
there is an order, there's a priority. And that is that we need to first understand and seek the
love of Allah. Before we concern ourselves with trying to obtain the love of people. There's an
order, right? If I had a car that had to be maintained, my car needed some little bit of shop work,
		

			right? It needed new tires, and it needed a new battery. Which one do I change first? Anybody?
		

			You're like, you just call me an IBO? And they'll figure it out, right? No, you change the battery,
thank you. Because why you can't go to the tire shop and get new tires unless your battery's
working. So there is an order sometimes there is a sort of team, there's a sequence there's a
prioritization that a person has to follow.
		

			So the first thing that we understand the theme of this is the task to reattach is that there is an
action in which the Prophet SAW said I'm here teaches us about and this action is the secret to
knowing that Allah subhanaw taala loves you. Many of us wonder, like, how do I know if Allah loves
me, I'm trying, I'm doing my best. But is there anything that I can do that will give me you know, a
progress report will tell me that Allah subhanaw taala loves me? And the answer is what the Prophet
SAW Selim says here, he says, is head for dunya. You have book Allah, that, if you do Zoid is the
action of
		

			they say, an era Anusha like turning away from things were Ethicon fee Yanni, like you, you don't
put value in that. It doesn't change your life, right?
		

			The Prophet SAW said him said, if you can do this in the dunya, in your life, be a person of zakat,
then Allah will love you. Now, what does it mean for a person to be exhausted? To do it, many of us
misinterpret this and we say, oh, this person can't have nice things. This person can't have you
know, a phone or an iPad, they can't enjoy sports, or they can't enjoy art or their friendships,
they have to be a tough person, right? They have to be, you know, grumpy, and they have to be
grouchy. And they just got to be focused on the outcome. And that's it. That's not as I hit.
		

			The profits also, I'm taught us that as I hit is somebody that can experience all of the things that
Allah subhanaw taala has made permissible, but that those things do not affect their inner reality.
Let me give you an example. How many of you if you show up to dinner tonight, let's say your friends
call you invite you for dinner and you show up and you walk in and all of your favorite items are
there right what kind of food do you guys like anybody?
		

			But he only mashallah Chicken, chicken or goat?
		

			lamb Okay, mashallah, right? What's it what we got over here?
		

			Sushi. Wow, Mashallah. Hey sushi biryani I'm just saying, also known as the Pokeball. Yeah,
basically right. All right. So you walk in you see biryani, you got sushi. You got ribeye burgers,
french fries, wings. It's a buffet. You walk in and they're like Bismillah. Enjoy. Sorry for the
three people. I just woke up here in the front. Alright.
		

			You would be super happy, right smile from ear to ear. This is amazing. What what Jana have I just
walked into? Okay. You'd be the happy that hamdulillah right. hamdulillah Hola, Yatta Ahmed, our
Sakana or Jana laminal. Muslim you make that door? I was. So you put your whole foot in that door,
right. Okay.
		

			Now let's change positions a little bit. Your friend invites you and says, Hey, you want to have
some food? You say? Yeah. They said we don't have much but you know, come join. You show up. And
there's some rice and some lentils, some Daltile.
		

			You walk in you're like, is this is GrubHub working or what's what's the deal? Right? Can we
DoorDash some kabobs? Like, is this the appetizer, right? This is normal.
		

			It's normal for people to have a sense of expectation and disappointment but the zadt It doesn't
feel any difference in those situations.
		

			The Zahid doesn't, doesn't only eat Tao, or drink only water or have only one day and sit there
quietly.
		

			The Zahid has no spiritual movement internally towards Allah, whether they are given exactly what
they want, or whether they are given something that they don't want.
		

			There's no distraction.
		

			And it leads to this miraculous personality trait of constantly being grateful. So zoo hood, is the
state where a person is so grateful to Allah, about what they have, that they have no time to think
about what they don't have.
		

			My wife's grandfather, may Allah have mercy on him, used to be a very jolly, jolly guy, right? And
his wife would ask him, especially when times were tough, like, you know, things were not going
well. She would say, Why are you so happy all the time? You know, you know, serious things would
happen, right? They'd have like some issue and you know, the water was shut off, or the construction
was happening or whatever. It was tough times, sometimes sickness in their home. And he would always
just be very happy. And his wife said to him, why are you so happy all the time? Like, can't you
just join in the family venting circle, you know, everyone likes to pile on sometimes. And he said,
		

			If I thank Allah for every second of the day, for something I had, I would run out of the day before
I would run out of things to thank him for.
		

			How how can I be unhappy? When Allah has given me more than I can even imagine?
		

			This is a hood. This is as I hit. It's irrelevant whether you get Coke or Sprite or water or
nothing. The Prophet saw someone come home.
		

			I used to sit and would ask his beloved wife Aisha Radi Allahu Anhu like What is there to eat? And
she would say yeah, to sue Allah nothing. And he would say Good, I'll fast because he hadn't eaten
yet. And when you haven't eaten yet, in a non Ramadan fast and enough will fast, you can make your
intention late. As long as you haven't eaten, right? I don't want you brothers being like 3pm
already had brunch, lunch, you know, Allah who met nice, I'm like, you know, like know, your
intention has to be coupled with the precondition that you haven't eaten yet or drink anything yet
or done anything to violate the fast for that day. So imagine a husband coming home, a father coming
		

			home and asking his wife after working in the morning, and being like, what is there to eat? Imagine
a wife coming home, and everyone coming home and saying what is there to eat? And the response being
what? Nothing. I'm sorry. I don't have anything yet. I gotta figure it out.
		

			Imagine how many of us would have the spiritual fortitude to smile, not fake it you know the fake
smile where your mouth is there but your eyes are like angry. And you look a little bit weird right?
Now you really smile you say oh, you know what? Great, great. Not great, like sarcastic Great,
great. But genuinely Hamdulillah I have an opportunity to fast. That's the hood.
		

			So this man is saying yes to Allah. Give me something I can do. That I can know that Allah loves me
and the prophets all sudden
		

			I'm says if you can be this person, if you can look at whatever car you have, and say it Hamdulillah
you can look at whatever is on your plate
		

			and say it hamdulillah if you can look at whatever clothes you have, and saying hamdulillah
		

			then that's part of the path of the hood. I'm not gonna lie. This morning, I had an irritation in my
chest about something I share with you guys. I was driving back and an Uber on the way back from a
coffee shop and I got in the car, and the driver started driving and the coffee spilled all over my
pants. Right hamdulillah It was no burn or anything. But my pants had this massive coffee stain on
it. And my son who has really really unfortunately he's very honest.
		

			Says Baba it looks like you had an accident. Firstly, he doesn't he sees me. I'm like thanks Musa
Masha Allah. And I'm not gonna lie, right? As I was, I was frustrated, I was irritated. It is what
it is. You're not home, you can't just go change. This is maybe the only outfit that you had planned
for the day, whatever, you know, hamdulillah by the way, as I walk off the stage, please don't look
at my left leg, okay.
		

			And I got out of the car, you know what I see? I see two or three people sitting on the side of the
road asking for money.
		

			And you wonder to yourself is a stain on the leg of my pants really the biggest problem in the world
right now?
		

			Right? Does anybody even care?
		

			And the answer you have to remind yourself is the thing that is bothering me. The thing that is
causing me so much ingratitude to Allah at this moment, is literally the dream of somebody somewhere
in the world today.
		

			There are millions of people who are hoping and begging for any clothes to wear, stain or not for
any food or drink.
		

			And I've got a man Murphy has the audacity before his Lord to sit and complain about a couple of
drops of coffee on his pants May Allah forgive me.
		

			This is what Zuid means. You check yourself, you remind yourself you work on that. And you know that
Allah Tada as a result, will love you inshallah. Then he gave the second advice,
		

			he said is head for dunya you Hamburg, Allah is head female in the nurse, you have a nurse that do
that same action of zoo hood of being completely disinterested,
		

			not jealous or greedy or invested or curious or wanting anything that people have
		

			given up? And what is the result of that? People will love you. People will love you. And this is
one of the truest statements Subhanallah
		

			it if we are constantly thinking and looking at what others have, number one, it threatens our
gratitude to Allah subhanaw taala what makes you not grateful to Allah is when you see someone
else's station or status and you think to yourself, why can I have that is leads to one of the
greatest sins of the heart has said envy or jealousy when a person looks at what Allah has given
somebody else and says, why not me?
		

			I'll never forget my first car, a Toyota Camry, because I'm Muslim.
		

			All right. And
		

			on the last line of the contract is the Shahada. Actually, you just have a Camry Okay, come sign
here I just had to Allah. So I drive I'm driving off the lot. And I'm really excited my first car,
you know, I grew up not getting new cars, just driving whatever my brother had whenever whenever I
could, or borrowing a car here and there. No such thing as me having a car. So now there's my first
car. Very excited. And as I'm driving off, the lot, I see across the street is a Lexus dealership.
And at the same time, I'm pulling up to leave someone else's pulling up to leave and Alexis. And the
same car that I was so excited to get because buying a car takes like 72 hours of being in a
		

			dealership.
		

			That was a joke. It doesn't actually take that long, but it feels that long.
		

			At the same car that I had so much excitement to have, I was so grateful to Allah. I felt like I was
on top of the world as soon as I saw that Lexus with the leather seats.
		

			And I was driving the Camry with like the cloth seats. The cloth started to feel more like wool.
		

			And the leather looks so good.
		

			And as I turned on my blinker and I was turning left and that Alexis was turning his left we we
turned bass each other I said man, my camera sucks.
		

			And I had just
		

			gotten it? I'm not joking, brand new, but that that thought just floated through my mind.
		

			How more ungrateful? How completely invested in what people have could I have been in more than in
that moment.
		

			And the sad thing is that when we do this to people that we know, and we know what they have, and
they know how we feel, then what ends up happening is the relationship starts to crumble.
		

			Right? So many of this, many of these moments have to be things that are self regulated, no one else
can do this for you. No one else can come to you and say, You know what, get that love of that thing
out of your heart. They can't do that you have to cleanse yourself from these moments and
obsessions, where your eyes cannot stop looking at the things that belong to your brothers or your
sisters. And this happens far too often. So what can you do? Number one, how can you cleanse
yourself from this number one, as you might have, as it says, The Greatest the greatest remedy for
envy is you have to think to yourself, who is the one who decided to give you that in the first
		

			place Allah. Allah knows what you can handle and what that other person can handle. And he gave you
what you can handle and he gave the other person what they can handle. And if he gave you what he
gave somebody else, it might break you so he didn't give it to you because he doesn't want you
broken he wants to hold
		

			so that's number one. Number two, is that you should realize that your responsibility when you see
something nice for somebody else is to make your offer them and to say Masha Allah, Masha Allah,
this is what Allah wanted. This is what Allah willed, Allah gave it to them, because it's for them.
And he gave this to me, because this is what I have. By the way, this ends up becoming more apparent
in things where the resources are limited.
		

			When somebody gets married, and you want to get married, when somebody buys a house and you want to
buy a house, when someone's applying for a job, and you are too and they get the job, and you don't,
		

			this is when the Envy starts to bubble up.
		

			So number two is make your offer them. And number three, is to look at what you have already in your
life. And take away your eyes and your heart from being able to look at anything else that people
have in their lives. Imagine because it said something really powerful one time, he said the eyes
are effectively one of the quickest ways to the heart. And he said and he wrote this beautiful
commentary on guarding your gaze and he said that we typically talk about guarding the gaze with the
opposite gender. He said there's another kind of other bustle that has to happen.
		

			That kind of love the bustle lowering the gaze, right? That kind of of the bustle that has to happen
when it comes to the different belongings that people have. Don't stare at the things that people
have in their lives. Don't look at the cars that your friends drive, don't look at the phones that
they have. Don't look at the clothes that they wear.
		

			He's not saying don't look at them. He's saying don't obsess over them. Don't stare. Don't let them
occupy the vacancy in your heart to the point where you can't stop but think how much you want you
to have that and you don't want them to have that. So work on lowering the gaze in general from what
people have. If somebody has something that you like, let's say Masha Allah, it's okay for you to
want it as well. It's okay for you to want it as well as them but never ask Allah to remove
something from the life of somebody else, because that is the epitome of hassad. So the Prophet SAW
sent him said that this kind of detachment will ensure that number one, Allah will love you. And
		

			number two, that people will love you We ask Allah subhanaw taala to give us this and more to make
us successful in our endeavors to allow us to become people who follow his example. The example of
His Messenger is those of Saddam Amira, but it means exactly what Qaeda was Saddam was able to catch
on