AbdelRahman Murphy – Facebook: The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the use of Facebook as a source of communication and the challenges of waking up from it. They stress the importance of managing time and setting a limit on activities. The speakers also emphasize the need to avoid mistakes and write on people's faces. They suggest ways to improve productivity, monitor usage, and be proud of one's parents' music culture.
AI: Summary ©
Hello Bill alaminos salatu salam ala rasulillah Karim Allah Allah was happy to hear from a senator Yama Dean. I am really honored and blessed and thankful to be in front of all of you tonight it's it's a great blessing every time I come to Valley Ranch for those of you who know what I'm talking about, you know those like really nice homey machines like they're not like this giant mega mess just like I at Irving when you walk in you feel like you're walking into like someone's living room you know they call the master law's house but you feel like you're walking like living you know Mashallah every time I come to a Valley Ranch or any other you know nice cozy mustard or masala I
feel very at home so does that look here for inviting me Does that feel fair to move moving? Yeah, none of room
content okay. The example here at Monza and also shakeout super Jess she has a good as always excellent and you guys are very lucky to have him Let me just quickly put out there real quick he was in a machine that will go unnamed in Chicago and unfortunately the situation did not work out but from the law worked out for you know, each party to move forward to the plans so don't be that next question. Okay. Just hold on tight. You guys got a good one? Mashallah Todd
Okay, so we're gonna begin in Sharla with the evils of Nintendo 64 jokin
shala I'm going to talk to you guys a little bit about Facebook right so the the flyer or the the topic was friends relationships and Facebook. And although each speaker has kind of, you know, mentioned or touched on how Facebook or the internet or cyber relationships can affect your life, I just wanted to give a quick primer a quick debriefing really quickly inshallah I know you guys are excited to ask questions about the good and the bad of Facebook. Before I start I want to really quickly let everyone know that Facebook is a tool right? If I asked you is fired good or bad say it out loud.
Some people say bad Some people say good you will say depends that is an adult diaper I do not wear those
Some people say good Some people say bad Why is it bad someone one person please raise your hand yes
okay cuz it's hot flame. Why is it good thank you and you can get burned by hot flame right? Why is it good? Yes.
Exactly Muslims because you can cook it right. So some people might say you know you could build you know, you know for metals with it you know, you can get heat from it you know, others Muslims will say you can cook with it that is excellent.
But you see the example given here right fire is a tool and tools can be used for good or bad as the shape you know, yes of bridges who you know, he's Mashallah very, very well. You know,
well knowledgeable about fichte, he can tell you that tools like Facebook or fire these things cannot be definitively given a ruling of halau forum. It depends on the context. It depends on the usage, right? So you can use a hammer to build a house you can also use a hammer to break into someone's car. There's many different ways to use different tools don't bring them with karpeles especially not a gold camera. Okay, okay.
So really quickly, inshallah I want to highlight because I know the general feeling amongst the community, especially the elders are respected and beloved parents and and uncles and Auntie's is that Facebook is not that good to have it's very unsafe. It's not you know, productive you waste time on in all these concerns. They have valid points and valid reasons. But we want to first we want we want to bring the the topic to an objective table and talk about it from both viewpoints. So the first viewpoint and many of us can, you know, appreciate this is the good part of Facebook. as Luke said at LACMA, last month at lovestruck, on the law, we had over 800 people in attendance, we
had over 1000 people who are logged on to watch it humbler all of the events that we have at IMT have been very successful this event as well a major success for you guys. Mashallah. May Allah bless you guys. The majority, the majority of the marketing done for you guys, I'm sure and for us the only marketing barely any emails, no paper flyers, I have not printed one paper flyer for an event has all been done through Facebook. Everything has been done through Facebook. On top of that kids constantly messaged me questions that they need answers to, can I go to prom? Yes, no, okay, no, you can't go to prom. Okay, can I can I do this? Can I do that? And I answered it via Facebook
and it's become a new way of communicating with people. It has become a new way of reaching out of letting people know hey, here's what's going on and letting people know hey poke me right? The Facebook has become a new a new realm a new frontier that we can use for good inshallah Tada. One of them as we said, is the event using events and publicizing events such as this. Another way is to reconnect with old friends. How many of you guys and girls have reconnected with people that you haven't seen so long through Facebook? Right all the young uns Oh, yeah, I didn't see my friend for like two hours.
And when she poked me,
I'm telling you, I'm telling you like 10 years. This brother I haven't seen for sorry. 10 years. Yeah, like 910 years almost. He added me on facebook a couple months ago and I was excited.
Honolulu is with us 20 years right? 20 years martial law, it's, it's a great way to reconnect. This is a brother that I went, I went to Mecca to briefly study at an intensive over the summer. And he added me and I hadn't talked to him in so long and I was like Subhan Allah, and I saw pictures of his kids. How many of you older uncles or Auntie's you see pictures of your relatives? new babies on Facebook, right? Or? Yes, no. Why are we laughing our babies funny.
You know, I know that one way to keep up with my nephew is my mom, or my sister, or my dad will put pictures, right? I'm friends with my mom and dad or Facebook, okay, don't laugh. We'll put pictures of my nephew on Facebook and my wife and I will log on and just see, it's a lot quicker than emailing it right? A lot of good uses for these things. So we can't definitively and categorically deny that these things bring claims they bring good. And you can do you can even get hot enough for these things. Remember, with an intention with a pure intention, and act that is not definitively good or bad, something that's not good or bad, can become amazing can become something that will get
you a lot of good deeds, a lot of points, right, a lot of gold coins with a lot of problems. All right, we're talking in the video game generation, but gold coins, okay.
Now, now that we've covered the good, right, and that we know that there are good parts of Facebook, I want to give three problems that I see with Facebook. And this is coming from someone who has a Facebook, who has over 1000 friends chicastic, who, you know, is probably friends with a lot of you and probably get a lot more requests tonight. But I make sure that I don't add those creepy people was like not real names, you know? Like, it's like a restaurant, you know.
So I want to make sure I want to let you guys know about the three things that I'm really seeing problems with. And again, it's coming from a guy who has a Facebook and who loves his Facebook and enjoys using it to reach out and communicate.
The number one problem and again, I know we're having a good time. But let's take this seriously in Sharla. The number one problem that we have with Facebook as a community and as individuals is the problem of wasting time.
It has become a habit now to the point where people sometimes will open up their internet browser to go look at something and the first thing they click is Facebook and they don't even know why they clicked it. How many of you have a Facebook app on your iPod or iPhone, iPod Touch or iPhone? How Isn't it like the first thing you open up when you unlock your phone? Okay, not you isn't the second thing.
Right? It's very, very common. If you use if you unlock your phone and you're using your phone,
chances are you will be checking your Facebook app. How many of you, you look at the clock, right? This happens to me a lot I lay down in bed. It's like 1130. I'm like, man, I never thought I would turn this old this fast. So I look at the clock. It's 1130. And I'm like, Alright, let me just check my Facebook real quick. I look at the back of the clock. And it's three hours later. And I'm like some how to love right. And then you know, it's difficult. It's difficult to wake up from fudger when you stay up that late looking at the looking at Facebook, looking at tweets, looking at anything like whenever you look at browsing the web too late, chatting with people on Facebook too
late, poking people too much.
It becomes difficult to wake up and think a lot, right? And you want to think a lot. Why? Because Allah gave you the eyes to check your Facebook, he gave you the ability to have he gave you all these things. So imagine all these things I was giving you. You're using them all night long. And then you forget to wake up and thank him. Right. Thank you. Very good. That's a good reaction. No, it's a very good reaction. Zack Look, they're both trying to keep your actions inside.
So we need to make sure that we are vigilant and we watch over if you have to set a timer set a timer right now unless your mom's making the Briana you don't take that timer. Because then you might have a brownie fire. But make sure that you have a clock or a timer in front of you. And I know there's one on everyone's computer, set a limit for yourself on Facebook, set a limit for yourself, say okay, I got home from school, I want to chat with some friends I want to check my you know, updates my notifications, I'm gonna be off of Facebook by you know, five o'clock from four to five or 430. But whatever however long you use it, okay, set a timer set a limit. The second problem
which is kind of one be right first problems wasting time. The second thing that goes with that is that there are numerous articles and studies being done that are telling us and this is actually very scary. That Facebook and this new craze of internet stimulation, right like Twitter, Facebook constantly being engaged in something is causing us especially our children to lose their attention spans. They're being unable to focus, right in class. It's like so hard to focus listening to me right now. big white guy really hard. Right? It becomes extremely difficult. Because you're so used to looking at different things. Click on one friends page. Okay, another friends page. Okay, another
friend's page. Oh, picture picture, picture picture picture. You don't take the time to appreciate the whole picture. You just look oh my god. She's doing that. Oh my God. He's doing that. Oh my god. Keep looking through and look through and you guys know exactly what I'm talking about. That's why these girls are laughing because it's true.
It is true. And we're laughing now. We're having a good time of humbler everyone say
The law from the level having a good time. But it's real guys and girls, it's real. You don't want this to ruin the way that your mind functions. And one way you can remedy this is number one by managing your time on Facebook. But number two is to use or do activities that will train your mind to have focus. So make a deal with yourself. Every time I go on Facebook, I'm also going to go to CNN. I'm also going to go to ESPN. I'm also going to go to whatever website and read an article a full article of full article, you know, guys, for a while so Pinilla, like a few months ago, one of my friends came up to me.
And he was like, do you know that there was an article that said that people can't even finish reading a full article I was like, really wasn't like, I don't I didn't read it.
And he was being serious.
He's being serious. He's like, I don't I didn't read it. And I thought about it. And I was like, You know what? It's true. I try to read articles all the time, right about how the Dallas Mavericks are terrible how the Chicago Bulls are so much better. And I can't even finish an article on it. Right? But I don't need to because it's true. So remember, remember, inshallah.
This means quiet, okay? Remember, in sha Allah, to do activities with your brain, whatever it might be, that cause you to focus to train your mind. So you don't lose that ability. Because you don't want to lose that ability later on in life, it will harm you a lot, right? It will harm you a lot. The second thing that we need to be aware of right, I don't want to call it a danger, because it's not going to come on bite us. But the second, the second thing that we need to be aware of, and again, this is a very serious issue is that we allow our private mistakes to become public. We allow the things that we do incorrectly, and that we don't want people to see, or that we'd be embarrassed
for people to see, it becomes a lot easier for just a picture of it to be put on Facebook. How many people in this room Do not raise your hand, please? How many people sisters?
How many people in this room have seen a picture of someone that they didn't know, or I'm sorry, have seen a picture of someone on Facebook that they knew. But they didn't know that, that they were involved in the act that they saw the picture of. So for example, you had a brother or sister that you were cool with, right? You met them every once in a while. And he says something about Gemma. And then you go on Facebook and you see a picture of them drinking or smoking a bomb, or doing any of these terrible things, right? I know, I know. But just keep it serious, because it's actually serious stuff. How many times have you guys looked on a picture and you see a picture of one of your
friends you didn't know how to boyfriend or one of your friends who didn't know how to girlfriend, right? A lot of exposures being done on Facebook. And this is scary enough. But there's actually a Hadith of the Prophet most of them. This actually kind of frightening.
The prophecy, something he tells us in a Hadeeth that he says all of my followers, all of the Muslims, right? Were the prophets followers, right? Everyone say hamdulillah. We're the followers of the Prophet Muhammad Hassan and we're very blessed man, Prophet Musa incident, he like wanted to be part of Muslims almost so bad. And we got that chance. Mohammed saw seven, he said, all of my followers, all of them, all of their sins can be forgiven, except those who are not ashamed of doing their sins publicly. Those who went to Las panatela at night, when they commit a sin, which by the way, we all commit sins, just because I'm here, just because I'm up here doesn't mean I don't I
don't make mistakes. We all make mistakes. It's natural. But it's not natural to expose it. It's not natural to take that sin and say, guess what I did last night. Guess who I saw last night? Guess who I did not write any of these things is not natural that you will laugh but it's serious.
It's not natural to expose these things, the natural occurrence. When you make a mistake, what do we always learn from young age?
Say, sorry, except maybe you don't say to your parents, this time you say to Allah, when you make a mistake, you say out loud, I'm sorry. You Allah, you gave me these hands in this body in this space in these eyes, and I'm using them to make mistakes. And I'm really sorry, Allah, please, please forgive me. And then sha Allah, Allah forgive you. But if you allow people, or even worse, allow, or try to get people to take pictures of you, when you're making those mistakes, or when you're doing those things, or you write on people's walls, that things that are very clearly not supposed to be written, and everyone can see it, then it's a very scary premonition that you might not be able to
have that sin forgiven. And on the dangerous man standing in front of Allah, Allah will say, I hid that sin from people. I made sure no one saw it. Why did you go and let everyone see it? Right. It's like when you're when you're walking down the stairs and you trip and fall the first thing you do is what? Look around, right? Like no one saw it right. The guy who's like atsuko door I won't tell anyone is way different than like, everyone. Look at this. This dude just tripped, right? There's so different the first one you're like, thank you so much. The second one you're like, man, I hate you. I never liked you anyways.
Right? It's the same thing. When a lot
points out that when he allows you when he alone can see your mistakes. But he hides them. Imagine if How was it the last part that made us have a shirt with all of our mistakes written on it, and everyone can see it. Everyone can see it. He doesn't do that come to me, everyone said Camilla.
The last thing is what I want to call Facebook personality disorder.
A story really quickly, just to illustrate this point, I'm a youth director at msgid. Right, an unnamed machine already named.
And this one kid came this one kid that I'm friends with him on Facebook. He added me when I when I went there to Google speech in February. And I've noticed on his Facebook that he speaks very
thuggish. And so, I don't know it's funny, but okay.
So he's like, he starts saying like, Yo, man, like, let's go hit up the club, right? Like sir something like that. Right? Very, like much very into like this little Wayne, Drake, all this kind of stuff. Right? Wiz Khalifa kashia I don't know why he likes Kesha. But so he's very into all these kinds of, you know, music, this kind of culture. And then when I meet him in real life, I'm not making fun of anyone, please forgive me. He was like, man, what's going on? hardcore, like DC accent? Like, Are y'all What's up, you know?
And on his on his iPod Touch, I kid you not I thought today was we'll lock it all into a shadowclan movie.
And this kid's like, the most like, finished kid on mine that I've ever met. I'm like, scared of him online. I'm like, dude, I don't got no money. You know, like, he's very, very like into that gangster culture. But then in real life, he's like, very, very much like Pakistani pride. You know? Like, he's a walking male, you know, like,
and I was just so confused. I couldn't put the two together. I was like, wait, this doesn't make sense. And then it hit me. You know how the way that you act at home is different than the way that you act at school?
Everyone don't. Okay, anyone whose parents are here? Don't Don't answer. But do you know how the way that you act at home is different than the way you act in front of your friends, sometimes, Facebook is adding a third part to that
before for everyone, for me, for all of us, mostly, you acted differently with your friends than you would with your parents. And that's not necessarily a good thing. But unfortunately, it's true. And we have to work on that. Facebook's adding a third component. But now people act differently online than they do at home than they do at school than they do online. It's causing us to have to lie to ourselves. It's causing us to have to try to be someone who we're not. And this is extremely dangerous. Because then as you get older, you'll become accustomed to having lives roll off your tongue. And when people ask you questions, it'll actually be shocking to you when you tell the
truth.
And that's not a good state to be in. Because the person is one of the signs of a hypocrite is that when they speak, they tell lie. And so we don't want to become in the habit become accustomed to become encultured to telling lies to ourselves, especially that's very dangerous. So I have three solutions. The first, like we said, is to monitor your time, make sure that you are taking not that much time and make sure you set a cutoff point. I'm only gonna use Facebook for this much time. Don't stay up till two in the morning on Facebook chat.
The second thing is that you want to remember that everyone sins. Remember this. Don't ever think that okay, I saw my pictures of this sin on Facebook because I'm a sinner, and that person is not no, everyone sins man, the people who are on the agenda, they committed sins. But the difference between them and the people who want to Hellfire is that the people want agenda. One tried to hide their sins from people because they knew that it was not good to, you know, publicly expose it. And number two, just like in private, they did the sins in private, they also asked a lot to forgive them. So the people agenda and the people of Hellfire were the same. But what lifted the people
agenda up is that they had the ability and the humility to say y'all, I'm sorry, please, please forgive me. And that's a very important characteristic to have. Try to make sure that you do not expose your private sins via Facebook or via phone or text or whatever and Sharla the third and last thing is to be who you are. And I was researching for how to eat and I'm sure there are plenty I didn't get a chance to ask a counselor. But I just want to say this straight from my heart right
above the document which is like not worth anything right? You're not gonna find me like books on it. You know?
me my Facebook, right? But okay, it was terrible joke. I'm sorry.
But you guys, especially younger kids and younger females. You are all so cool. I'm being dead serious. I'm not just saying it. Except for you guys. All of you are super cool. Super cool. Mashallah, seriously, like, if I could be any of you, I would do it. Seriously, please save me, right?
So don't try to be someone else. Like be proud of who you are. You're a Muslim. You're a young Muslim man. You're young Muslim woman. And
In sha Allah, Allah loves you and He wants you to go to Jenna. That's why he chose you to be Muslim. And you have so much to give right? So many talents. You are all very good looking very confident people Mashallah, don't try to be someone who you're not. You're not this random girl named Kesha who sing songs about getting drunk in the morning and going hang out guys. You're not Wiz Khalifa who all he talks about is getting high. You're not little Wayne who talks about how death he doesn't even think about it. You're much better than these people. May Allah guide all of them to Islam and make them cool like us. But you are much cooler than these people. Don't be someone else be yourself
will love you. That's the best advice. I know sounds like a lame commercial. But I'm For Real, right? I'm For Real with you guys. Real Talk Be yourself and charlo Tada and I asked the last panel tada to make us all ourselves and make our true selves, those who follow Him and follow no one else through the son of the Prophet isosilybin and the guidance of those who followed him and our teachers and scholars zefal of heroes salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa