Zia Sheikh – Ramadan Reminders Day 5
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As-salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
Today inshallah I'm going to be talking about
some verses from Surah An-Nisa, which means
the women, and as the title suggests, there
are a lot of issues related to women,
especially in the beginning part of the Surah.
Things which were in the days of Jahiliyyah
prevalent, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala took those
things and basically forbade them.
This is what the beginning verses of Surah
An-Nisa talk about.
So firstly, the first thing I want to
talk about is, in the beginning Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala says, The
issue of the mahr, or the dowry or
the gift that a person gives, which is
also known in Arabic as sadaq or mahr,
this is something that the people are not
familiar with in terms of what the rules
and regulations are, when it comes to the
mahr.
First and foremost, this is the right of
the bride, meaning the one that is getting
married, it is her right.
It is not her parents' right, it is
not anybody else's right, it is her right.
It is not a bride price that is
being paid for her, that she's being bought.
This is a gift for her, as a
token of appreciation for becoming the wife of
that person who is going to give her
that gift.
So, that gift should be such that it
is valuable and it shows appreciation for the
woman that he is getting married to, and
it should not be, you know, very very
little, to such a degree that it belittles
the value of the woman in such a
way that there is no value to the
thing that is being given unless and until
the woman herself, she demands a lower mahr.
And this is something that the Prophet ﷺ
said, that the best of the women are
the ones who demand the least mahr.
So there is a balance there to put
between the two, not to have it too
big that it becomes so difficult, as is
the case in the Middle East nowadays.
If you go to the Middle Eastern countries,
like Saudi Arabia, Dubai, and the other Gulf
states, it's become very difficult for a man
to get married because of the high price
of the mahr that is being demanded from
people.
And it should not be so little that
it becomes demeaning and belittling to the woman
who is about to get married.
Also, at the same time, we need to
understand that it's not just a verbal agreement,
or it's just something you put down in
the marriage contract, and it's never implemented.
If you commit to giving a mahr, that
is a responsibility upon your shoulders.
You have to give that mahr upon demand.
In many cultures, the mu'akhar mahr is
usually only given at the time of divorce.
The reality is that it's paid upon demand.
Whenever the woman demands it, that has to
be paid.
And it's so strict, the ruling of the
mahr is so strict, that when the person,
if the husband passes away, and he has
not given her the mahr yet, he has
not given her the mahr yet, the first
thing that is distributed from the inheritance as
a debt, it's a debt upon his head,
is the mahr that is given to his
wife before the rest of the inheritance is
distributed.
So this shows all the important facts and
rules related to the mahr, but yet it's
something that we neglect so much nowadays.
If there's a commitment being made, it has
to be fulfilled, and it has to be
given, unless and until she herself forgives the
balance of the mahr, which she shouldn't be
forced to do.
Nobody needs to twist his wife's arm and
tell her that you need to forgive the
balance of the mahr.
It is something, if she gives it up
herself, that is fine.
Once it's been given, then to take it
back also, it's not permissible.
This is again forbidden in the Quran, even
if a divorce takes place.
That once you have consummated the marriage, and
then you basically divorce, I'm giving you, just
paraphrasing, not doing the exact translation, if a
divorce takes place, then you're not allowed to
take back that mahr that you have given
her.
It's not permissible for you to do that.
So these are the rules and regulations related
to mahr about which many people are ignorant.
So in the beginning of Surah An-Nisa,
Allah says, Give the women their mahr, their
sadat, in the state of cheerfulness.
Do it happily, not glumly, and not as
if you you know, it's a bitter pill
that you're swallowing that you don't want to
give.
This is a sign of love for her,
it's a sign of appreciation for her.
Make sure you give it as soon as
possible.
But then, after that it says, If they
themselves give some back to you, or forgive
any of it to you, then you're allowed
to consume it yourself without any kind of
problem.
After this also, some rules and regulations about
the yatama, the orphans are mentioned.
And this is something again, that was very
prevalent in those days.
The issue of taking care of orphans, many
people used to consume the wealth of the
orphans that they used to get in inheritance.
So many rules are mentioned about this issue
of consuming the wealth of the orphans.
Allah SWT says that, If a person is
rich, and he has taken up the case
of an orphan, and he's taken him in,
and he's looking after him, then he should
try to avoid to take any of the
wealth that that orphan received in inheritance, and
he should use his own wealth to take
care of that orphan.
But in the case of a person being
faqeel, he himself doesn't have money to feed
his own family, and to take another orphan
in, to take another person in, it's going
to be difficult for him.
So then the needs of that orphan can
be fulfilled by taking from the inheritance of
the orphan, and utilizing it on behalf of
the orphan, and there's nothing wrong with doing
that.
But in any case, the problem with the
orphans was that because they were small, they
couldn't stand up for their rights.
And again, this is something even prevalent in
this day and age.
The worst treated children are the ones that
don't have anybody to speak for them.
They go from foster home to foster home.
They're molested and abused and, you know, so
many victims of so many problems because they
have no adult that can take care of
them.
So Allah SWT specifically talks about orphans and
mentions their rights in these particular verses.
One of the things that used to take
place in the days of Jahiliyyah was that
women used to be inherited.
So if somebody passes away, his wife becomes
the inheritance of the immediate family.
So the brothers of the person who died,
they have the first right to actually get
married to that woman.
Allah SWT says no, this is not permissible.
It is not permissible for you to inherit
the women forcefully.
So yes, if you come to a mutual
agreement and she agrees to marry one of
the brothers, there's nothing wrong with that if
she is agreeing to it.
But in those days, it was forced upon
her and she had to stay in the
family.
And the reason that they had was so
that they could keep the children within the
family and they couldn't be neglected.
But Allah SWT says that it is not
permissible.
Another thing that is mentioned in these verses
is the issue of inheritance.
Now one of the things that the critics
of Islam point at Islam is the issue
of inheritance being unfair for the women.
And they point to a portion of the
verse in which Allah SWT says, that for
the male is a double share that of
the female.
Okay, so if we step back a little
bit and we actually look at the books
of Tafsir and we find out why the
verses of inheritance were actually revealed.
We'll be shocked to find that the verses
of inheritance were actually revealed for two girls.
The wife of Sa'di Rabia, she came to
the Prophet and complained and she said, Ya
Rasulullah, Sa'di Rabia, he was killed in one
of the battles and he left an inheritance
but his brother came and took everything.
Okay, so I have two girls and they've
ended up with nothing and the brother took
everything.
So what should I do?
The Prophet SAW said, wait for Allah SWT
to send a decision.
So the verses of inheritance were actually revealed
specifically for these two girls and again the
ruling is maintained up until this point that
whenever two girls are left an inheritance, they
get two-thirds of everything.
They will get two-thirds of everything.
And this concept of the woman getting half,
this is only in the case of the
siblings.
Otherwise, the issue is, for example there are
situations where the women actually gets exactly the
same as the male.
So in the case of somebody passing away
and both parents being alive at the same
time, both of them actually get one-sixth
equally.
But in other cases, in the cases where
there is the issue of the woman getting
half of the male, there's a reason behind
it.
And the reason is that Sharia is not
something that you cherry-pick and you just
use when you need it or when you
require it.
This is not what Sharia is about.
Sharia is a holistic way of life.
It's a complete way of life that we
need to understand looking at the complete picture.
And when we look at the complete picture,
we'll find that the woman is the responsibility
of her immediate relatives.
She's the responsibility of her husband, the responsibility
of her father, the responsibility of her brother,
and whoever she's living with at the time,
she is the responsibility of the male members
of her family.
So whenever she gets any type of inheritance,
she gets everything.
She gets all that inheritance, she can take
it, she can invest it, she can buy
jewelry with it, she can do whatever she
likes with it, because she doesn't have any
responsibility to utilize it on any other family
member.
However, the male members of the family, when
they get the inheritance, they take that inheritance
and they have to utilize it on their
own family, on their kids, and then their
sister also.
Say for example, a person passed away and
he left two children, one male, one female,
and he left, say for example, $75,000.
So the male gets $50,000 and the
female, she gets $25,000, half of what
the male gets.
But the female, she gets $25,000, she
keeps it all for herself, she doesn't have
to spend it on anybody.
However, the male, he has maybe a wife,
he has five kids, so that $50,000
is now distributed amongst six, seven people already,
including the sister, who will also get a
share of it in terms of indirect spending
upon her.
So we need to understand this from a
sharia perspective, that sharia basically is a holistic
way of life that we need to implement
in its entirety, then we'll understand this ruling.
So the reason that Allah SWT has made
this, is because of this ruling.
After this, Allah SWT talks about something that
used to take place in the days of
Jahiliyyah, which was that if a person, for
example, he had a father, and that father
had multiple wives.
It was permissible, or it was even recommended
in those days, that the person, if the
father passes away, then he marries the stepmother,
his own stepmother, not his, obviously his own
mother, but the stepmother, one of the wives
of his father.
It was actually something that was prevalent in
those times.
Allah SWT came down and said, this is
not correct.
Arabic Arabic You are not allowed to marry
those women that your fathers have already married.
This is a fahisha, this is something immoral,
and it's a very bad way to adopt.
So again, a habit of Jahiliyyah was being
practiced, Allah SWT stamped it out.
Now, in this day and age, we have
issues related to equality between male and female,
and people make an issue about many, many
things.
I read a very ridiculous article from a
feminist, who says about herself, that she's not
going to have children for the rest of
her life, why should she have to bear
the burden of having children, when males don't
have to do it?
I mean, this is the most ridiculous thing
that you and I ever heard, but this
is again, the Jahiliyyah and the ignorance that
these people come up with to justify their
position of, you know, trying to justify that
they are getting unfair treatment.
Even in the case of something so natural
as childbirth.
So in any case, some women came to
the Prophet, and told him, Ya Rasulullah, how
is it that the men, they get to
fight on the battlefield, and they get to
do so many things, and they get the
opportunity to get the reward from Allah SWT.
So we need to understand that, when we
are born, when we are born male, or
when we are born female, it is not
because of choice.
Allah SWT created us male, He created us
female, and each one of us, we have
different roles and responsibilities, and we have different
ways of getting the Ajr from Allah SWT.
So for example, men, if they say that
I want to have a baby, it's not
going to happen.
Only the women, they have the honor of
being mothers, and having the honor of having
children, and being the ones that bear the
children, and carry the children, and get the
reward for having the child.
So this is not something that is without
reward.
There is a huge difficulty involved in the
child, in having the child.
There is a huge difficulty in raising the
child, in weaning the child, in feeding the
child, in cleaning the child.
But because of that difficulty, Allah SWT recognizes
the woman's status.
In the Quran, again and again, Allah SWT
talks about how the woman goes through so
many difficulties when giving birth to the child
and raising the child.
So because of that, she is respected.
The Prophet SAW was asked, who is more
worthy of my respect, Ya Rasulullah?
Three times the Prophet SAW said, your mother,
your mother, your mother.
The fourth time, he said, your father.
So this shows the status that the woman
has been given.
So these difficulties that the women have to
endure, like the childbirth, the monthly cycle, these
are not without reward.
Allah SWT rewards them for it because they
are displaying patience for what Allah SWT has
made them endure and the difficulties they have
to endure.
Many women, for example, they complain.
They say, I had to miss my seven
days of fasting during the month of Ramadan.
I wish I was a man.
Allah SWT will give you the same reward
while you are eating and drinking throughout the
day because of your intention.
Many women again complain about having to miss
their Salat over the week.
Allah SWT is going to give you the
reward for free without having you make any
effort if your intention is there.
So women should not complain about these things.
So in any case, when these women came
to the Prophet SAW and complained and said,
Ya Rasulullah, why is it that the men
can go onto the battlefield and we don't?
They get this opportunity to get this whole
reward.
Allah SWT revealed verses and says Do
not wish for what Allah SWT has given
of the status to each other.
Men should not wish for what women get
and women should not wish for what men
have got.
Each one has got their own status and
Allah SWT recognizes each one separately.
The men get what they have earned.
And the women get a share of what
they earned.
Ask Allah SWT from his bounty.
Don't complain.
Ask Allah SWT for his reward directly.
So this is again something that in this
day and age, particularly when there is this
huge noise about equality and so on, we
need to keep in mind that Allah SWT
has given different roles and responsibilities to men
and women and we should accept them as
they are.
InshaAllah I will stop there and InshaAllah we
will continue tomorrow.
I pray to Allah SWT to give us
the strength to understand and practice what has
been said tonight.