Zia Sheikh – Jumuah 3252016
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of fulfilling Allah's household commands, including guarding wife and husband rights and avoiding negative behavior. The Prophet's use of language to emphasize the responsibility of men in society is emphasized, and the need for continuous contribution is emphasized. The importance of addressing domestic abuse and giving the fair share is emphasized, along with the need for everyone to contribute at least $130 per month and $300 per week. The importance of operational funds and an outlet is emphasized, and salaries and donations are also discussed.
AI: Summary ©
It is one of the divine qualities that
Allah SWT has, that extreme love that He
has for His servants, that is that same
love that He puts between a husband and
a wife.
It is Allah SWT who does that.
And also He puts mercy in that relationship.
Mercy the husband has for the wife and
the wife has for the husband.
So once we understand that that mawadda and
rahma comes from Allah SWT, then it becomes
incumbent upon us that we do not allow
the shaitan to intervene within that relationship and
we allow Allah SWT to send down His
mercy upon that relationship.
And how can we do that?
We make sure that we fulfill the commandments
of Allah SWT within the household.
There is a verse in the Quran in
which Allah SWT tells us, Guard the salats
and especially the middle salat.
And the middle salat, difference of opinion, some
say it refers to salatul fajr, some say
it refers to salatul asr.
But Allah SWT is telling us to guard
the salats and especially the middle salat.
And this is done in front of Allah
SWT in the state of submission.
So the translation of this verse is very
clear and what the verse is telling us
is very clear.
But why is it placed in the middle
of verses which are related to divorce?
The scholars have now discussed this issue that
the verse about salat, it comes in the
middle of those verses which are related to
divorce and the rules related to divorce.
So they have come to the conclusion that
if a person wants to prevent his marriage
from going south and he wants to prevent
his relationship with his wife or her relationship
with her husband to deteriorate, then it becomes
incumbent upon the couple to make sure that
the rights of Allah SWT are maintained in
the house.
The rights of Allah SWT are not, you
know, discarded and Allah SWT is not disobeyed
within the house.
And as long as a person obeys Allah
SWT within the house and the obedience of
Allah SWT is clear in the form of
performing the salats, making sure that a person
fasts in Ramadan, the zakat is given, the
hajj is performed, all of the other obediences
that a person is supposed to do, he
does them, then it does not give room
for the shaitan to intervene and destroy that
relationship.
So this is a very important point that
we need to understand that guiding the rights
of Allah SWT, fulfilling the commands of Allah
SWT, go a long way in making sure
that we also fulfill the rights of the
wife or the rights of the husband.
Obviously if a person has the fear of
Allah SWT, he has the fear of accountability
in front of Allah SWT, then he is
not going to shirk in his responsibility in
making sure that he fulfills the commands of
Allah SWT.
The Prophet SAW, he said, أَكْمَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا
أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا The person who has the most
complete iman has the one who has the
best akhlaaq.
And really a person's akhlaaq and manners to
the outside world can be a bit of
a facade that he puts on a show
and he seems like a cheerful, a jolly
and a very approachable person.
But the rest of the hadith, it tells
us something important.
How does a person judge his own character?
How can a person judge his own character?
It is by seeing how he deals with
his wife.
The hadith goes on to say, خِيَارُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِمْ
The best of you are the best of
you to their wives.
And the wife is the one who sees
the person's character up front daily for many
hours a day.
So she can tell you truly what a
person's character is truly about.
Whether a person is abusive, whether he is
lazy, whether he helps out or not in
the house, all of that the wife can
tell you.
So when a person makes sure that he
is taking care of his wife and he
is fulfilling her rights and he is making
sure that he doesn't have the bad qualities
within the house, then for sure outside the
house he will be the same.
It's narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab.
He says, كُنَّا مَعْشَرَ الْقُرَيْشِ We were the
Quraysh.
نَغْلِبُ النِّسَاءِ We were very overpowering and overbearing
and controlling of the women.
فَلَمَّا قَدِمْنَا عَلَى الْأَنصَارِ إِذَا هُمْ قَوْمٌ تَغْلِبُهُمْ
نِسَاءُهُمْ When we came to Medina we found
that the people of Medina were opposite.
We found that the women were overpowering the
men.
So this was a strange situation.
And again the character of the people of
Medina is completely different.
They are softer and gentle and so on.
So Umar ibn al-Khattab says that their
women were overpowering the men.
فَطَفِقَ النِّسَاءُنَا يَأْخُذْنَ مِنْ أَذَبِ نِسَاءِ الْأَنصَارِ So
our women also started to take on those
qualities of the women of Ansar.
فَصِحْتُ عَلَى امْرَأَتِي فَرَاجَعَتْنِي فَأَنْكَرْتُ أَن تُرَاجِعْنِي So
one day I shouted at my wife and
she responded back.
This is Umar ibn al-Khattab.
Remember that.
And we've all heard the might of Umar
ibn al-Khattab and how people used to
fear him so much.
And here he is, he shouts at his
wife and she responds back to him.
And he says, فَأَنْكَرْتُ أَن تُرَاجِعْنِي This I
couldn't believe that she responded back to me
and I disliked the fact that she responded
back to me.
فَقَالَتْ وَلِمَا تُنْكِرُ أَنْ أُرَاجِعَتْ Why are you
displeased at the fact that I responded back
to you?
فَوَاللَّهِ إِنَّ أَزْوَاجَ النَّبِي ﷺ لَيُرَاجِعْنَهُ Even the
wives of the Prophet ﷺ respond back to
him.
They say they have discussions and they respond
back to him and sometimes they disagree with
him.
وَإِنَّ إِحْدَاهُنَّ لَتَهْجِرُهُ الْيَوْمِ حَتَّى اللَّيْلِ And sometimes
even the wives of the Prophet ﷺ do
not talk to him until the night.
Meaning if they become displeased at something, they
do not even talk to the Prophet ﷺ.
So it shows two things.
Firstly how accommodating the Prophet ﷺ was with
the wives of the Prophet ﷺ.
And also we understand that the Prophet ﷺ
was teaching the people that it's not just
the stick that rules the house.
Rather diplomacy and discussion and disagreements will occur
within the house.
So a person has to put up with
those things.
And a person cannot simply just put his
foot down and say that I am the
boss of the house.
And what I say goes and nobody can
argue with me and nobody can respond back
to me.
So this is very important for us to
understand and this is one of the things
that we take.
And this is the riwayat of Bukhari and
Muslim.
And both of the most prominent collectors of
Hadith Bukhari and Muslim have put this in
their collection.
The Prophet ﷺ he never used to forget
his wives.
Even Khadija r.a had a wife that
he spent the most time with.
He used to remember her after she passed
away.
And Aisha r.a she says I was
never jealous of any of the wives of
the Prophet ﷺ except for Khadija.
Why?
Because the Prophet ﷺ used to remember her
so much.
I didn't even meet her.
Meaning she passed away even before Aisha r
.a. But she says that I was jealous
of her even though I didn't meet her.
The Prophet ﷺ he used to slaughter a
goat and he used to distribute the meat
amongst the friends of Khadija r.a. So
Aisha r.a says that I became upset
at him one day.
Why Khadija all the time?
Khadija all the time mentioning Khadija.
He said the Prophet ﷺ responded I was
given her love by Allah s.w.t.
It was a blessing for me that I
was given her love.
And according to another riwayah the Prophet ﷺ
said that I was given children from her
and that's why I love her so much.
So this is again it's not an unmanly
thing to love one's wife.
It's not an unmanly thing to have affection
for his wives.
And this is what the Prophet ﷺ demonstrated.
I mentioned in Fajr this morning how the
Prophet ﷺ in the society which used to
hate women and used to look down upon
women and used to treat women like objects.
The Prophet ﷺ came and showed by example
how to treat women.
How did the Prophet ﷺ treat his own
daughter Fatima r.a in an environment in
which people used to be ashamed of having
daughters and used to bury their daughters alive.
Whenever she used to come and visit him
he used to stand up to greet her
and he used to kiss her and he
used to make her sit in the same
place where he ﷺ was sitting.
And when he used to visit her she
used to do the same for him.
And in another riwayah it is mentioned that
when Fatima r.a who used to visit
he said marhaban bibnati, welcome oh my daughter,
welcome oh my daughter.
And there are countless riwayahs that talk about
a person who has daughters in his house
and he raises them, gives them a good
tarbiyah and weds them off to a good
person.
How a person is promised Jannah by doing
that.
In a hadith the Prophet ﷺ he said,
I love perfume and I love women.
This loving of the women was not in
a perverted sense as some people may twist
out of context.
But rather the Prophet ﷺ was trying to
emphasize this point that in a society where
women are downtrodden and you look down upon
the women and you bury your daughters alive
and you treat your women like objects.
In that society I am standing up and
saying I love those same women and I
respect them.
This was the reason that the Prophet ﷺ
was very vocal about this issue.
The Prophet ﷺ he said, Have the taqwa
of Allah ﷻ in the issue of women,
meaning that we have to fear Allah ﷻ
about the accountability when it comes to the
women.
It is mentioned by the scholars that when
a person, his wife has wealth, it is
not permissible for him to take his wife's
wealth.
If a woman is working for example, her
money is her own.
It is not permissible for him to demand
that she contributes to the household.
He should, if he persuades her and she
agrees then that's fine.
But there should never be any kind of
pressure from the husband upon the wife that
she contributes to the house.
The ayah is very clear.
The men are responsible for the women, meaning
spending upon the women, taking care of the
women and providing for the women, providing clothing
and housing and food.
This is the responsibility of the man and
not of the woman.
So this responsibility is upon the shoulders of
the man.
So when the Prophet ﷺ he said, Have
the Taqwa of Allah ﷻ in the issue
of women, this is what he meant also
that a person should not take the wealth
of their wives.
This is the point that I'm coming to
that today we have a very important session
after Salatul Maghrib about domestic abuse.
And this is something that has become prevalent
in our communities in many different ways.
So we need to make sure that we
come to this session tonight to hear from
the experts themselves as to how domestic abuse
is becoming prevalent and how we need to
try to avoid it and how to, if
we have something like that going on in
the house, how we need to take care
of it.
Aisha ﷺ says, The Prophet
ﷺ never hit anything with his hand.
Not a woman, not a servant, not a
slave.
The Prophet ﷺ never raised his hand to
anyone.
Except when he was making Jihad and fighting.
In that case he would raise his hand.
But other than that, within the household, he
did not.
When the Prophet ﷺ was approached by some
women asking advice as to who they should
get married to, he used to discourage women
from marrying those people that had a history
of abuse.
Again, Fatima bint Faisal she says, I
came to the Prophet ﷺ and I said
to him that two men have proposed to
me.
One of them was Muawiyah ibn Abi Sufyan
and the second one was Abu Jaham and
both of them have proposed to me at
the same time.
The Prophet ﷺ, he responded.
He said, Abu Jaham is such a person
that he does not take his stick off
his shoulder.
Meaning his stick is ready to beat somebody
with.
Meaning he tends to be a little bit
abusive.
Muawiyah is Saaluk.
Saaluk means, it's kind of like a nickname
for a person who never has any money.
He doesn't have any money.
So why didn't you marry Usamah ibn Zaid
who was a third person completely?
There is another opinion of, Some of the
scholars say it means that he was Tawilus
Safar.
He used to carry his baggage on his
shoulders, means that he was always travelling.
So that's another opinion of the scholars about
this issue.
So this Fatima bint Qais, she says that,
I disliked Usamah ibn Zaid but I still
went on to marry him.
And I became the envy of all of
the women.
Meaning that this relationship with Usamah ibn Zaid
that the Prophet ﷺ recommended, it became such
that all of the women used to be
envious of me.
It is mentioned that the Prophet ﷺ was
passing by Abu Mas'ud al-Ansari, who
was hitting one of his servants.
He says, I heard from behind me a
voice.
I heard a voice behind me while I
was punishing one of my servants.
What was the voice?
Oh Abu Mas'ud be aware that Allah
SWT has more power over you than you
have over him.
Meaning that this punishment that you are giving
him, you will be held accountable for it.
Abu Mas'ud says, I turned around and
it was the Prophet ﷺ who was there.
I said to the Prophet ﷺ, he is
free for the sake of Allah SWT.
I have set him free.
He is a slave and now I have
set him free.
The Prophet ﷺ he said, If you did
not do that, then you would have been
enveloped and surrounded by the hellfire.
So again it shows that a person who
uses his strength to abuse the weaker person,
it is not something that goes unnoticed by
Allah SWT.
Think of the words of the Prophet ﷺ,
what he said to Abu Mas'ud.
He said that Allah SWT has more power
over you than you have over this person
that you are abusing.
We should think about that when it comes
to our relationships and if we are being
abusive in our relationships, what we should be
thinking about and how we should realize that
these things do not go unnoticed by Allah
SWT.
He is fully aware of what is going
on.
We are running out of time.
So make sure inshallah you come and try
to participate in this session tonight after Salatul
Maghrib.
Like I said we have experts coming in
that are going to be talking about this
very important issue.
Please do come and benefit.
And also I would like to just bring
to your attention the very important issue of
the operational funds of this masjid.
We are not going to have a fundraiser
today but we have done some calculations and
we have come to the conclusion that every
person needs to contribute at least $130 per
month for the upkeep of this masjid.
This is basically everyone's fair share.
Just imagine if you were to take an
apartment with somebody, if you became a roommate
of somebody and you did not contribute to
that particular apartment.
You did not contribute to the bills, you
did not contribute to the groceries.
After a couple of months the person is
going to throw you out.
This masjid is run by donations, your donations,
your contributions and particularly the contributions on Friday
are what are directed towards operational funds.
But we are seeing that in the past
few months the contributions have been slowly slipping
and going down and down.
The budget for the whole year is over
a million dollars per year.
And this includes all the salaries, all the
bills, the water bill, the electricity bill, the
maintenance of the masjid, the gardening, the parking
lot, the maintenance of the building.
All of these things, just like you have
maintenance in your house, just like I have
maintenance in my house and I have to
do certain things within the house to make
sure that everything is running smoothly, everything is
fixed, all the bills are paid, the masjid
has all of these expenses.
So everyone is requested to do their fair
share and not to share from that responsibility
also.
The reason that we have all of these
wonderful programs going on is because we are
spending money to make sure that these programs
do exist and everyone is benefiting from them.
Otherwise, if it was just the sake of
the building and for coming for Salat, we
could just lock up the masjid and just
open it for the Salat and lock it
up again.
But we want this masjid to be a
center where everybody can come at all times
without any fear, be protected, where our children
can come, they can enjoy the multi-purpose
hall, they can play, they can feel that
this is the center that they belong to
and not become like those people that have
become isolated.
I hate to talk about this issue of
Brussels right now, but the history of people
that have gone on to do extreme acts
are those people that had no kind of
center to go to, that had no kind
of association that they could belong to, no
kind of center that they could belong to.
And instead, they sought out associations and friendships
in far off lands because nobody pays any
attention to them in their locality.
No community centers that they could go to.
40% unemployment in those particular areas and
nobody is paying attention to them.
So the outlet became extremism.
So we need to make sure that our
youth, our young have an outlet where they
can belong and they can feel that they
are part of the community and if they
are in any kind of trouble, the community
can stand up for them.
And this is one of the reasons that
we are contributing and we are focusing so
much on making this an institution that it
is.
So everybody needs to do their part and
make sure that they contribute as much as
possible.
And the request is that everybody contributes at
least $100 per month.
We request everyone to contribute $20 per week
to the donation box as they are leaving.
So this is the minimum that we should
be doing.
If not $20, then $10.
If not $10, then $5.
But everybody should leave by putting something in
the box.
And even if everybody puts $5 in the
box before leaving, that should be around $15
,000 per week.
If we have that, then we don't need
to do any fundraisers.
But again, everybody, a lot of people are
just basically riding the wave and just benefiting
from other people's contributions.
So make sure you do your bit.
Everyone needs to ask themselves, what am I
doing for this center?
What am I doing to contribute to the
center?
So I pray that Allah SWT gives us
tawfiq to understand that and gives us tawfiq
to contribute to His worthy causes.
Allah is great.
Allah is great.
I bear witness that there is none worthy
of worship except Allah.
I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger
of Allah.
Come to prayer.
Come to success.
Prayer has been established.
Prayer has been established.
Allah is great.
Allah is great.
There is none worthy of worship except Allah.