Zia Sheikh – Ghiba Backbiting Ramadan Khatira

Zia Sheikh
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the issue of "slow actions" that lead to negative behavior and suggests addressing these behavior through a controlled approach. They warn against harms, suggest seeking professional help, and advise against negative emotions and actions from one's body. The danger of "slow actions" is discussed, including a man who committed fraud and apologizes, and advise against seeking forgiveness from the person. The importance of telling the truth and finding forgiveness from the person is emphasized.
AI: Transcript ©
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Yesterday I talked a little bit about gheeba

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and controlling the tongue and on the way

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out some people requested me to go into

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a little bit more detail on the issue

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because for example there are certain instances where

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gheeba and talking behind somebody's back may become

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permissible.

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So that and the rulings if you've done

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gheeba of somebody what should you do to

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seek forgiveness from him?

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These are things that we should all know

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about.

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So we heard yesterday the ayat of the

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Quran in which Allah SWT He says that

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doing gheeba is like consuming the flesh of

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your dead brother.

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Going on to the hadith of the Prophet

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SAW He was on the night of Laylatul

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Qadr, he was passing by the people of

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Jahannam and he saw people that they had

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nails made out of brass.

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They had nails made out of brass and

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they were basically scratching their own faces with

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those nails, their faces and their chest.

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The Prophet SAW he says that I addressed

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Jibreel AS and I asked him Who are

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these people?

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Oh Jibreel.

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Jibreel replied and said these are the people

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that used to eat the meat of the

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people meaning they used to backbite about the

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people and they used to fall into their

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honour meaning they used to delve into their

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honour.

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Honour meaning their dignity, their respect, talk about

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them behind their back with the intention of

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dishonouring them or blemishing their honour.

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So this is the punishment that the Prophet

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SAW saw on the night of Mi'raj

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for those people that were engaging in gheeba.

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Why do people engage in gheeba?

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What is the reason?

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There are many reasons that can happen.

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One is jealousy.

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A person is simply jealous of somebody, jealous

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of his success, jealous of his position, jealous

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of what he has.

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So jealousy leads him to bad mouth him

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in front of other people.

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The other thing is just simply he doesn't

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like him.

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He doesn't like the person that he is

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doing gheeba of so therefore he does it.

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He wants to just ridicule him and also

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he may not have anything against that particular

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person but just because he is in bad

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company and that bad company wants to engage

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in gheeba and joke about other people therefore

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going along with the flow of the people

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he involves himself in the gheeba also.

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So many reasons occur through which a person

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becomes a victim or the criminal in this

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case of engaging in gheeba and backbiting about

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people.

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There are ways to fix the gheeba.

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There are two ways.

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One is a mujmal way which is basically

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a simple way and one is a mufassal

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way which is more detailed.

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The simple way is that a person should

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be reminded or he should remind himself of

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the gravity of the sin that he is

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committing and also he should remind himself that

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it is equivalent to eating the flesh of

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dead people and also he needs to remind

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himself that he is turning over his hasanat

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to the person that he is doing gheeba

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of.

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You dislike a person, okay keep that dislike

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to yourself because if you are doing his

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gheeba you are basically benefiting him.

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You are benefiting him by turning over your

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own good deeds to him so if you

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dislike him so much keep your opinion to

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yourself.

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He won't get your good deeds.

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Okay so he needs to remind himself that

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this is going to happen that my hasanat

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are going to him on the day of

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judgment.

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So these are the things, the simple things

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that a person needs to remind himself.

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If you want to go into detail a

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person needs to also look at the reasoning

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that is making him do the gheeba itself

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and he needs to get rid of that

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reason.

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For example if it is a dislike of

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a person or if it's jealousy, jealousy is

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an evil that is inside of me.

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If I'm engaging in gheeba because of jealousy

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that is not because of any bad in

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that person that is an evil inside of

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me that I need to remove.

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I've mentioned before in my lectures that evil

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things that occur in a person's heart they

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are known collectively in the Arabic language as

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ghil.

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What is ghil?

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Ghil is an all-inclusive name that includes

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all of the impurities of the heart and

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Allah SWT says about the people of Jannah

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that before people actually enter paradise that ghil

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needs to be removed from the person's heart.

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It needs to be removed from a person's

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chest.

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Why?

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Because it is an impure thing and impure

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things do not enter paradise.

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So there are different opinions as to how

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that happens.

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One of them is that before the people

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will enter paradise they will cross the special

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stream and they will be bathed in that

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stream and because of that stream those impurities

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they will be removed.

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Otherwise if a person has these qualities inside

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of him that person cannot enter paradise.

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That's why the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam mentioned

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A person cannot enter paradise who has an

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atom's weight of kibr or arrogance in his

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heart.

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A person who is a qati' meaning he

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breaks relationships with people he will not enter

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paradise and if we delve into all of

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these hadith that the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam

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mentioned these are all related to issues where

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a person is disliking somebody, has hatred for

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somebody, has impurity in his heart for somebody

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and because of that he himself will not

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enter paradise.

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So that has to be removed from our

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system and that is very very important.

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There are certain instances where it is permissible

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to engage in a controlled form of ghibah.

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What is that?

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First of all a person has been oppressed.

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A person has been oppressed and to get

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rid of that oppression he goes to a

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person in charge, he goes to the authority,

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he goes to the police for example, his

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money has been stolen from him or somebody

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burgled his house, he knows who it was,

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maybe it was a Muslim.

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So in this case to go to the

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police and to report that person there is

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nothing wrong with it.

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He has been the victim of oppression so

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therefore to remove that oppression and to report

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that oppression to the authorities there is absolutely

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nothing wrong with it.

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The second reason that is permissible to engage

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in a ghibah is to try to get

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rid of munkar and evil in a person's

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life.

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So you know that a person he is

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engaging in a certain type of sin and

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you know that his close friend has an

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influence on him.

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Now you can go to that close friend

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and in privacy tell him that look, this

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is your close friend, he listens to you,

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why don't you talk to him because he

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is engaging in things which are really inappropriate.

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So talking to him with a very sincere

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intention, sincerity in this case, ikhlas, with the

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intention of really rectifying that person, in this

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case it is permissible to engage in a

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certain level of ghibah.

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The third reason that it could be permissible

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to engage in ghibah is istiftah.

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Istiftah means to seek a fatwa.

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Again a person he has been wronged by

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somebody or he feels that he has been

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wronged by somebody or sometimes there are disputes

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that take place between husband and wife.

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So they go to the imam or a

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person in charge or a counselor and they

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have to explain their situation to the counselor

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and then that person will advise them accordingly.

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So in this case to hide the situation

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that is going on, it would not be

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appropriate.

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So to engage in ghibah, for example the

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wife complains about her husband in front of

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somebody, obviously you try to fix the situation

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in the house, within the confines of the

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household first and if it doesn't get fixed

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then you go to somebody professional who can

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help you.

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So in this case to talk about what's

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going on and the reasonings that she or

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he came to take advice, it is permissible

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in that situation to engage in a certain

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level of ghibah.

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The fourth situation would be to warn the

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other Muslims about the evil of a person.

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So for example you run into a person

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who is a con man.

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He goes around, promises people that he is

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going to take their money for investment and

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then he takes that investment money and runs

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off with it.

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And that person who invested the money never

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gets that money back.

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So the person who is being conned in

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this case, he can go to other people

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and community members and tell them that hey

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this is what happened to me, you need

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to be careful so that other people do

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not become the victims of his trickery.

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So it is permissible to warn people so

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that they do not become victims of that

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person's trickery or the person knows that this

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person he sells cars and the cars that

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he sells, they are maybe taken from junkyards

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and put together in a way to make

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them look brand new but they are very

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dangerous.

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They would not pass an inspection and if

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a person gets involved in an accident, it

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would be very dangerous for him to be

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in that particular car because the shell of

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the car has been destroyed in a previous

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accident.

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So the person knows that he is doing

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that.

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So to warn people about this, it would

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be permissible to engage in a certain level

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of ghibah.

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A person sometimes, he does sins openly.

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A person is committing sins openly and it's

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not hidden from other people.

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Like a person he is engaging in alcohol,

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he is drinking openly in the street or

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he commits sins and then he discloses the

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sins to other people and this is also

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in itself a sin.

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The Prophet ﷺ condemned those people that commit

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sins and Allah covered those sins for that

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person and then instead of keeping the sins

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covered, the person goes around and openly, he

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tells the people that I did such and

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such a thing last night and we had

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great fun last night because I did X,

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Y and Z last night.

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So this sins that are covered by Allah

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a person openly exposes them.

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So in the case that the person is

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doing that, so there is nothing hidden anymore.

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So to warn other people about this person

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who is openly committing sins, it would not

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be regarded as ghibah.

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The sixth situation is that a person, he

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is known by a particular name.

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He is known by a particular name.

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For example there is a Sahabi who is

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named Aqra ibn Habis.

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The real name of Aqra, the real meaning

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of Aqra, it means bald.

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But he became famous by that name.

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He became known by that name.

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So to call the person by the name

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that he is already famous with, not in

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a demeaning way but rather to let people

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know that you are talking about him and

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not in a derogatory way, you are using

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his name with a name that he is

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famous with.

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It is permissible to do that but if

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you can choose another name then it is

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better for you to do that.

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So now the situation is this, that you

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have a situation where you have engaged in

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ghibah of somebody.

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How do you fix that?

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How do you actually fix that?

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The question is that if you were to

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tell the person that I talked about you

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behind your back and your relationship with him

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was perfectly fine and now you are telling

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him that is going to result in problems

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between yourselves.

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So what do you do?

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The purpose of Sharia is not to cause

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rifts and break-ups and breaking up of

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relationships between people.

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So if you feel that that may happen

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then what you should do is in the

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same majalis, in the same gatherings in which

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you were talking bad about him, you start

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speaking good about him.

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You start speaking good about that person and

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that will equal out what you said bad

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about him and then the people that you

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said bad about him in front of they

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will realize that that person is good and

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the bad that you said about him would

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be inshallah nullified.

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And also you should make dua for that

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person in the case of you having wronged

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him, make dua for him and ask Allah

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SWT for forgiveness.

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But if you feel that you telling him

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is going to help and he is not

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going to mind then it is better for

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you to tell him and seek forgiveness from

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him.

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And another way could be that you actually

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come up to him in any given situation

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and say to him please brother if I

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have wronged you in any way please forgive

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me.

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So this is a general statement that you

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ask him and maybe that person might get

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a hint and he may forgive you for

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doing that.

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So this is another way that you can

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do it without hurting the person's feeling.

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And one thing that I forgot to mention

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is sometimes somebody comes to you for reference,

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character reference and particularly when it comes to

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marriage.

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Somebody comes to you and asks you a

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question that somebody has come for a proposal

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and I know this brother he hangs around

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with you sometimes, he comes to the masjid

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sometimes and I have seen you with him,

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what do you know about him?

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So the person really has to be brutally

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honest in that situation.

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If he knows any flaws in the character

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of the person he needs to make those

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flaws known.

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There is a hadith of the Prophet Sallallahu

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Alaihi Wasallam in which a sahabia came to

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the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and said two

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people have asked me for my hand in

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marriage and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam immediately

00:17:29 --> 00:17:32

said that one of them he is sa

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'aluk.

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One of them is sa'aluk.

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Sa'aluk means he hasn't got a penny

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to his name.

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He doesn't have anything.

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So if you marry him you are going

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to probably get yourself into financial trouble.

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The other he doesn't remove his stick from

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his shoulder and this can have two meanings.

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One of them that he is very strict.

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Basically if you do anything wrong the stick

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is going to come off and he is

00:18:02 --> 00:18:02

going to use it on you.

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The other meaning is it is an indication

00:18:11 --> 00:18:12

that he travels a lot.

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He puts a stick on his shoulder and

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he walks around and travels a lot.

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So the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam for both

00:18:19 --> 00:18:23

of them immediately told the lady, told the

00:18:23 --> 00:18:26

sahabia that both of them have these flaws

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and then he recommended a third person and

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then she says that I didn't like this

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third person but because the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi

00:18:34 --> 00:18:36

Wasallam advised me to marry him I did

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so and then I became a woman who

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was envied because of my household and the

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fact that my marriage was so blissful.

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So in the instance of somebody asking you

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for a character reference it is permissible also

00:18:54 --> 00:18:58

to tell the truth and it doesn't necessarily

00:18:58 --> 00:18:59

have to do with marriage.

00:18:59 --> 00:19:01

It can also be for a job.

00:19:01 --> 00:19:04

A person puts you down as a reference,

00:19:04 --> 00:19:06

as a job reference.

00:19:06 --> 00:19:08

He worked with you in the past.

00:19:09 --> 00:19:11

You know you must tell this new employer

00:19:11 --> 00:19:15

the qualities that he had, the good qualities

00:19:15 --> 00:19:17

and the shortfall that he had in the

00:19:17 --> 00:19:20

qualities so that the new employer is aware

00:19:20 --> 00:19:23

of what he is getting himself into and

00:19:23 --> 00:19:24

whether he wants to hire the person or

00:19:24 --> 00:19:26

not and that's why you have these character

00:19:26 --> 00:19:27

references.

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It's not because he's put your name down,

00:19:30 --> 00:19:33

he's your friend and somebody calls you, oh

00:19:33 --> 00:19:35

yeah he's a great guy, he's a good

00:19:35 --> 00:19:39

worker, he's hardworking and I know him and

00:19:39 --> 00:19:41

yet you're telling a complete lie.

00:19:42 --> 00:19:44

So in this situation also to tell the

00:19:44 --> 00:19:47

truth it is an amanah upon you and

00:19:47 --> 00:19:48

you must tell the truth.

00:19:48 --> 00:19:50

You must not twist the truth.

00:19:50 --> 00:19:53

You must say exactly what it is.

00:19:53 --> 00:19:55

So in the case of marriage, somebody comes

00:19:55 --> 00:19:57

to you for a character reference, in the

00:19:57 --> 00:20:00

case of jobs, character reference, it is important

00:20:00 --> 00:20:02

for you to tell the truth and this

00:20:02 --> 00:20:04

inshallah will not be regarded as ghibah.

00:20:05 --> 00:20:08

So I hope that inshallah this clears a

00:20:08 --> 00:20:10

few things up about the issue of backbiting

00:20:10 --> 00:20:12

and I pray that Allah swt protects us

00:20:12 --> 00:20:17

from this evil and He makes us a

00:20:17 --> 00:20:20

cohesive and a loving and a united community.

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