Zia Sheikh – Ghiba Backbiting Ramadan Khatira

Zia Sheikh
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AI: Summary ©

The speaker discusses the issue of "slow actions" that lead to negative behavior and suggests addressing these behavior through a controlled approach. They warn against harms, suggest seeking professional help, and advise against negative emotions and actions from one's body. The danger of "slow actions" is discussed, including a man who committed fraud and apologizes, and advise against seeking forgiveness from the person. The importance of telling the truth and finding forgiveness from the person is emphasized.

AI: Summary ©

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			Yesterday I talked a little bit about gheeba
		
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			and controlling the tongue and on the way
		
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			out some people requested me to go into
		
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			a little bit more detail on the issue
		
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			because for example there are certain instances where
		
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			gheeba and talking behind somebody's back may become
		
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			permissible.
		
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			So that and the rulings if you've done
		
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			gheeba of somebody what should you do to
		
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			seek forgiveness from him?
		
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			These are things that we should all know
		
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			about.
		
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			So we heard yesterday the ayat of the
		
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			Quran in which Allah SWT He says that
		
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			doing gheeba is like consuming the flesh of
		
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			your dead brother.
		
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			Going on to the hadith of the Prophet
		
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			SAW He was on the night of Laylatul
		
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			Qadr, he was passing by the people of
		
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			Jahannam and he saw people that they had
		
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			nails made out of brass.
		
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			They had nails made out of brass and
		
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			they were basically scratching their own faces with
		
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			those nails, their faces and their chest.
		
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			The Prophet SAW he says that I addressed
		
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			Jibreel AS and I asked him Who are
		
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			these people?
		
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			Oh Jibreel.
		
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			Jibreel replied and said these are the people
		
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			that used to eat the meat of the
		
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			people meaning they used to backbite about the
		
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			people and they used to fall into their
		
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			honour meaning they used to delve into their
		
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			honour.
		
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			Honour meaning their dignity, their respect, talk about
		
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			them behind their back with the intention of
		
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			dishonouring them or blemishing their honour.
		
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			So this is the punishment that the Prophet
		
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			SAW saw on the night of Mi'raj
		
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			for those people that were engaging in gheeba.
		
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			Why do people engage in gheeba?
		
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			What is the reason?
		
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			There are many reasons that can happen.
		
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			One is jealousy.
		
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			A person is simply jealous of somebody, jealous
		
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			of his success, jealous of his position, jealous
		
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			of what he has.
		
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			So jealousy leads him to bad mouth him
		
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			in front of other people.
		
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			The other thing is just simply he doesn't
		
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			like him.
		
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			He doesn't like the person that he is
		
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			doing gheeba of so therefore he does it.
		
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			He wants to just ridicule him and also
		
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			he may not have anything against that particular
		
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			person but just because he is in bad
		
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			company and that bad company wants to engage
		
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			in gheeba and joke about other people therefore
		
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			going along with the flow of the people
		
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			he involves himself in the gheeba also.
		
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			So many reasons occur through which a person
		
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			becomes a victim or the criminal in this
		
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			case of engaging in gheeba and backbiting about
		
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			people.
		
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			There are ways to fix the gheeba.
		
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			There are two ways.
		
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			One is a mujmal way which is basically
		
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			a simple way and one is a mufassal
		
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			way which is more detailed.
		
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			The simple way is that a person should
		
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			be reminded or he should remind himself of
		
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			the gravity of the sin that he is
		
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			committing and also he should remind himself that
		
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			it is equivalent to eating the flesh of
		
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			dead people and also he needs to remind
		
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			himself that he is turning over his hasanat
		
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			to the person that he is doing gheeba
		
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			of.
		
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			You dislike a person, okay keep that dislike
		
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			to yourself because if you are doing his
		
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			gheeba you are basically benefiting him.
		
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			You are benefiting him by turning over your
		
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			own good deeds to him so if you
		
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			dislike him so much keep your opinion to
		
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			yourself.
		
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			He won't get your good deeds.
		
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			Okay so he needs to remind himself that
		
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			this is going to happen that my hasanat
		
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			are going to him on the day of
		
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			judgment.
		
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			So these are the things, the simple things
		
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			that a person needs to remind himself.
		
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			If you want to go into detail a
		
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			person needs to also look at the reasoning
		
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			that is making him do the gheeba itself
		
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			and he needs to get rid of that
		
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			reason.
		
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			For example if it is a dislike of
		
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			a person or if it's jealousy, jealousy is
		
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			an evil that is inside of me.
		
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			If I'm engaging in gheeba because of jealousy
		
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			that is not because of any bad in
		
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			that person that is an evil inside of
		
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			me that I need to remove.
		
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			I've mentioned before in my lectures that evil
		
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			things that occur in a person's heart they
		
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			are known collectively in the Arabic language as
		
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			ghil.
		
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			What is ghil?
		
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			Ghil is an all-inclusive name that includes
		
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			all of the impurities of the heart and
		
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			Allah SWT says about the people of Jannah
		
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			that before people actually enter paradise that ghil
		
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			needs to be removed from the person's heart.
		
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			It needs to be removed from a person's
		
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			chest.
		
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			Why?
		
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			Because it is an impure thing and impure
		
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			things do not enter paradise.
		
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			So there are different opinions as to how
		
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			that happens.
		
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			One of them is that before the people
		
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			will enter paradise they will cross the special
		
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			stream and they will be bathed in that
		
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			stream and because of that stream those impurities
		
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			they will be removed.
		
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			Otherwise if a person has these qualities inside
		
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			of him that person cannot enter paradise.
		
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			That's why the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam mentioned
		
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			A person cannot enter paradise who has an
		
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			atom's weight of kibr or arrogance in his
		
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			heart.
		
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			A person who is a qati' meaning he
		
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			breaks relationships with people he will not enter
		
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			paradise and if we delve into all of
		
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			these hadith that the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
		
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			mentioned these are all related to issues where
		
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			a person is disliking somebody, has hatred for
		
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			somebody, has impurity in his heart for somebody
		
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			and because of that he himself will not
		
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			enter paradise.
		
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			So that has to be removed from our
		
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			system and that is very very important.
		
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			There are certain instances where it is permissible
		
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			to engage in a controlled form of ghibah.
		
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			What is that?
		
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			First of all a person has been oppressed.
		
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			A person has been oppressed and to get
		
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			rid of that oppression he goes to a
		
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			person in charge, he goes to the authority,
		
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			he goes to the police for example, his
		
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			money has been stolen from him or somebody
		
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			burgled his house, he knows who it was,
		
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			maybe it was a Muslim.
		
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			So in this case to go to the
		
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			police and to report that person there is
		
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			nothing wrong with it.
		
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			He has been the victim of oppression so
		
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			therefore to remove that oppression and to report
		
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			that oppression to the authorities there is absolutely
		
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			nothing wrong with it.
		
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			The second reason that is permissible to engage
		
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			in a ghibah is to try to get
		
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			rid of munkar and evil in a person's
		
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			life.
		
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			So you know that a person he is
		
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			engaging in a certain type of sin and
		
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			you know that his close friend has an
		
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			influence on him.
		
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			Now you can go to that close friend
		
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			and in privacy tell him that look, this
		
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			is your close friend, he listens to you,
		
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			why don't you talk to him because he
		
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			is engaging in things which are really inappropriate.
		
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			So talking to him with a very sincere
		
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			intention, sincerity in this case, ikhlas, with the
		
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			intention of really rectifying that person, in this
		
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			case it is permissible to engage in a
		
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			certain level of ghibah.
		
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			The third reason that it could be permissible
		
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			to engage in ghibah is istiftah.
		
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			Istiftah means to seek a fatwa.
		
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			Again a person he has been wronged by
		
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			somebody or he feels that he has been
		
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			wronged by somebody or sometimes there are disputes
		
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			that take place between husband and wife.
		
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			So they go to the imam or a
		
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			person in charge or a counselor and they
		
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			have to explain their situation to the counselor
		
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			and then that person will advise them accordingly.
		
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			So in this case to hide the situation
		
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			that is going on, it would not be
		
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			appropriate.
		
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			So to engage in ghibah, for example the
		
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			wife complains about her husband in front of
		
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			somebody, obviously you try to fix the situation
		
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			in the house, within the confines of the
		
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			household first and if it doesn't get fixed
		
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			then you go to somebody professional who can
		
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			help you.
		
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			So in this case to talk about what's
		
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			going on and the reasonings that she or
		
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			he came to take advice, it is permissible
		
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			in that situation to engage in a certain
		
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			level of ghibah.
		
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			The fourth situation would be to warn the
		
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			other Muslims about the evil of a person.
		
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			So for example you run into a person
		
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			who is a con man.
		
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			He goes around, promises people that he is
		
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			going to take their money for investment and
		
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			then he takes that investment money and runs
		
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			off with it.
		
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			And that person who invested the money never
		
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			gets that money back.
		
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			So the person who is being conned in
		
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			this case, he can go to other people
		
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			and community members and tell them that hey
		
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			this is what happened to me, you need
		
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			to be careful so that other people do
		
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			not become the victims of his trickery.
		
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			So it is permissible to warn people so
		
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			that they do not become victims of that
		
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			person's trickery or the person knows that this
		
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			person he sells cars and the cars that
		
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			he sells, they are maybe taken from junkyards
		
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			and put together in a way to make
		
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			them look brand new but they are very
		
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			dangerous.
		
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			They would not pass an inspection and if
		
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			a person gets involved in an accident, it
		
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			would be very dangerous for him to be
		
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			in that particular car because the shell of
		
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			the car has been destroyed in a previous
		
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			accident.
		
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			So the person knows that he is doing
		
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			that.
		
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			So to warn people about this, it would
		
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			be permissible to engage in a certain level
		
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			of ghibah.
		
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			A person sometimes, he does sins openly.
		
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			A person is committing sins openly and it's
		
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			not hidden from other people.
		
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			Like a person he is engaging in alcohol,
		
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			he is drinking openly in the street or
		
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			he commits sins and then he discloses the
		
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			sins to other people and this is also
		
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			in itself a sin.
		
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			The Prophet ﷺ condemned those people that commit
		
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			sins and Allah covered those sins for that
		
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			person and then instead of keeping the sins
		
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			covered, the person goes around and openly, he
		
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			tells the people that I did such and
		
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			such a thing last night and we had
		
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			great fun last night because I did X,
		
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			Y and Z last night.
		
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			So this sins that are covered by Allah
		
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			a person openly exposes them.
		
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			So in the case that the person is
		
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			doing that, so there is nothing hidden anymore.
		
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			So to warn other people about this person
		
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			who is openly committing sins, it would not
		
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			be regarded as ghibah.
		
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			The sixth situation is that a person, he
		
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			is known by a particular name.
		
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			He is known by a particular name.
		
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			For example there is a Sahabi who is
		
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			named Aqra ibn Habis.
		
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			The real name of Aqra, the real meaning
		
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			of Aqra, it means bald.
		
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			But he became famous by that name.
		
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			He became known by that name.
		
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			So to call the person by the name
		
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			that he is already famous with, not in
		
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			a demeaning way but rather to let people
		
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			know that you are talking about him and
		
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			not in a derogatory way, you are using
		
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			his name with a name that he is
		
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			famous with.
		
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			It is permissible to do that but if
		
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			you can choose another name then it is
		
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			better for you to do that.
		
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			So now the situation is this, that you
		
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			have a situation where you have engaged in
		
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			ghibah of somebody.
		
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			How do you fix that?
		
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			How do you actually fix that?
		
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			The question is that if you were to
		
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			tell the person that I talked about you
		
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			behind your back and your relationship with him
		
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			was perfectly fine and now you are telling
		
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			him that is going to result in problems
		
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			between yourselves.
		
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			So what do you do?
		
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			The purpose of Sharia is not to cause
		
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			rifts and break-ups and breaking up of
		
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			relationships between people.
		
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			So if you feel that that may happen
		
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			then what you should do is in the
		
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			same majalis, in the same gatherings in which
		
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			you were talking bad about him, you start
		
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			speaking good about him.
		
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			You start speaking good about that person and
		
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			that will equal out what you said bad
		
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			about him and then the people that you
		
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			said bad about him in front of they
		
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			will realize that that person is good and
		
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			the bad that you said about him would
		
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			be inshallah nullified.
		
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			And also you should make dua for that
		
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			person in the case of you having wronged
		
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			him, make dua for him and ask Allah
		
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			SWT for forgiveness.
		
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			But if you feel that you telling him
		
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			is going to help and he is not
		
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			going to mind then it is better for
		
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			you to tell him and seek forgiveness from
		
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			him.
		
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			And another way could be that you actually
		
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			come up to him in any given situation
		
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			and say to him please brother if I
		
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			have wronged you in any way please forgive
		
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			me.
		
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			So this is a general statement that you
		
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			ask him and maybe that person might get
		
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			a hint and he may forgive you for
		
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			doing that.
		
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			So this is another way that you can
		
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			do it without hurting the person's feeling.
		
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			And one thing that I forgot to mention
		
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			is sometimes somebody comes to you for reference,
		
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			character reference and particularly when it comes to
		
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			marriage.
		
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			Somebody comes to you and asks you a
		
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			question that somebody has come for a proposal
		
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			and I know this brother he hangs around
		
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			with you sometimes, he comes to the masjid
		
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			sometimes and I have seen you with him,
		
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			what do you know about him?
		
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			So the person really has to be brutally
		
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			honest in that situation.
		
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			If he knows any flaws in the character
		
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			of the person he needs to make those
		
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			flaws known.
		
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			There is a hadith of the Prophet Sallallahu
		
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			Alaihi Wasallam in which a sahabia came to
		
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			the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and said two
		
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			people have asked me for my hand in
		
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			marriage and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam immediately
		
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			said that one of them he is sa
		
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			'aluk.
		
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			One of them is sa'aluk.
		
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			Sa'aluk means he hasn't got a penny
		
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			to his name.
		
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			He doesn't have anything.
		
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			So if you marry him you are going
		
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			to probably get yourself into financial trouble.
		
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			The other he doesn't remove his stick from
		
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			his shoulder and this can have two meanings.
		
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			One of them that he is very strict.
		
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			Basically if you do anything wrong the stick
		
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			is going to come off and he is
		
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			going to use it on you.
		
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			The other meaning is it is an indication
		
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			that he travels a lot.
		
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			He puts a stick on his shoulder and
		
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			he walks around and travels a lot.
		
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			So the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam for both
		
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			of them immediately told the lady, told the
		
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			sahabia that both of them have these flaws
		
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			and then he recommended a third person and
		
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			then she says that I didn't like this
		
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			third person but because the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
		
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			Wasallam advised me to marry him I did
		
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			so and then I became a woman who
		
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			was envied because of my household and the
		
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			fact that my marriage was so blissful.
		
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			So in the instance of somebody asking you
		
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			for a character reference it is permissible also
		
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			to tell the truth and it doesn't necessarily
		
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			have to do with marriage.
		
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			It can also be for a job.
		
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			A person puts you down as a reference,
		
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			as a job reference.
		
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			He worked with you in the past.
		
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			You know you must tell this new employer
		
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			the qualities that he had, the good qualities
		
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			and the shortfall that he had in the
		
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			qualities so that the new employer is aware
		
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			of what he is getting himself into and
		
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			whether he wants to hire the person or
		
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			not and that's why you have these character
		
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			references.
		
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			It's not because he's put your name down,
		
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			he's your friend and somebody calls you, oh
		
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			yeah he's a great guy, he's a good
		
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			worker, he's hardworking and I know him and
		
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			yet you're telling a complete lie.
		
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			So in this situation also to tell the
		
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			truth it is an amanah upon you and
		
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			you must tell the truth.
		
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			You must not twist the truth.
		
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			You must say exactly what it is.
		
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			So in the case of marriage, somebody comes
		
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			to you for a character reference, in the
		
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			case of jobs, character reference, it is important
		
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			for you to tell the truth and this
		
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			inshallah will not be regarded as ghibah.
		
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			So I hope that inshallah this clears a
		
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			few things up about the issue of backbiting
		
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			and I pray that Allah swt protects us
		
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			from this evil and He makes us a
		
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			cohesive and a loving and a united community.