Yousuf Raza – Reflections on the Motorway Incident Part II

Yousuf Raza
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The speakers discuss the importance of quick fixes to solve problems and eliminate them, as well as the need for a solution to eliminate suppression of sexuality and double-standing of anti-sexuality. They touch on the real negative consequences of the abuse and the importance of addressing one's own values and taking precautions such as avoiding social events and not giving personal information. They also discuss the negative impact of negative rhetoric on behavior and personality and the need for everyone to identify their responsibility and work towards enrolling in tele Guinealiatry. They plan to create an online platform called tele Guinealiatry to help people avoid harming their mental health and provide support for people who experience abuse and psychological challenges.

AI: Summary ©

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			Yes, I am.
		
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			Yes, I am.
		
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			Assalamu alaikum.
		
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			Assalamu alaikum.
		
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			Alhamdulillah.
		
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			Alhamdulillah.
		
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			So, welcome everyone to Psych So, welcome everyone
		
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			to Psych So, welcome everyone to Psych Bhatak.
		
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			Why the second show on the same Why
		
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			the second show on the same topic for
		
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			we have some and
		
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			everyone is giving us or giving the public
		
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			or even proposing the government some quick fixes.
		
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			So there are so many quick fixes in
		
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			the market.
		
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			So why do we want to do a
		
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			second show?
		
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			Why don't we go with any of them?
		
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			And let's...
		
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			I know that would be so simple.
		
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			I was just having this discussion with my
		
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			son.
		
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			He wants for me to hire a robot
		
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			maker and make him a robot dinosaur.
		
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			In his mind, it's so simple.
		
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			That's all I have to do is hire
		
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			a robot maker, make a robot dinosaur and
		
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			it's a quick fix.
		
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			I don't know what dad is so complicated
		
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			about, I don't know what to do, what
		
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			to do and it's so simple.
		
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			Are you implying that the quick fixes are
		
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			from the age of seven or eight?
		
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			Mentally, yes.
		
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			I would say that whoever is facing this
		
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			problem, they are giving so many quick fix
		
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			solutions that if they do this, then this
		
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			problem will be solved from the root.
		
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			And this problem exists because no one listens
		
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			to me.
		
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			And I can't do anything myself.
		
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			I can't make anyone listen to me.
		
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			It's * immature.
		
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			It is as infantile as you can possibly
		
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			get.
		
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			That's never happened in the history of humanity
		
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			and you want to do it now.
		
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			Human society is as complex as it is.
		
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			What never happened?
		
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			Are you talking about this particular incident or
		
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			any work that is prevalent in any society?
		
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			I'm not just talking about our society.
		
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			And to remove that from the roots.
		
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			If there is any such work, will it
		
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			be the same with it or is it
		
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			just a matter of this work?
		
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			Whatever is so complex in your society, expecting
		
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			a quick fix solution to eradicate it in
		
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			a week or a month.
		
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			That's infantile.
		
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			Whatever the problem is, whenever it's part of
		
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			the society and it's so deeply entrenched in
		
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			a society.
		
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			I don't know how these people...
		
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			It's understandable if you talk about it emotionally.
		
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			But beyond that, you're actually pursuing that as
		
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			the only way forward and it's so easy
		
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			to get rid of these things.
		
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			We may be simplistic in our thinking, but
		
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			that's not how simplistic reality is or the
		
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			society that we live in.
		
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			Yusuf, doesn't this presupposition work that man by
		
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			nature is based on some primary mechanisms.
		
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			And if you address them as one or
		
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			two things, the problem will be solved in
		
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			the future.
		
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			That they are refusing to acknowledge that there
		
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			can be multiple causes of the same consequence.
		
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			Which is precisely what we have been discussing
		
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			in psychology over the past 100 years.
		
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			And more than anything else, they have come
		
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			to show us that going to a single
		
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			fundamental element or fundamental drive is counterproductive.
		
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			That if we reduce everything to a single
		
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			explanatory etiology or cause, all our problems will
		
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			be solved.
		
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			Human beings are like building blocks and they
		
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			are developed from a fundamental unit.
		
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			And everything is a corollary of that fundamental
		
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			unit.
		
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			And we know for a fact that none
		
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			of those explanations have really worked in their
		
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			entirety.
		
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			And so we have to be appreciative of
		
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			the nuances and subtlety in reality as we
		
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			live it.
		
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			Yusuf, coming back to your example of how
		
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			infantile these arguments are.
		
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			Can we understand this example in a way
		
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			that a child who has seen a match
		
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			being set on fire, whenever he sees a
		
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			match being set on fire, he will assume
		
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			that someone has set it on fire.
		
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			And he has no understanding that it could
		
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			be a short circuit, it could be a
		
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			bomb blast, it could be a cigarette, anything
		
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			else.
		
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			Is this kind of understanding that we want
		
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			to give to people that the real problem
		
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			is infanticide, or the real problem is not
		
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			getting punishments for these cases, or the real
		
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			problem is even the opposite of this, the
		
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			real problem is the suppression of natural sexuality.
		
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			So, other than going to the causes, in
		
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			all these arguments, the thing that is emphasized
		
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			is what is the real problem.
		
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			Here again, the nothing butness that we have
		
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			spoken about in previous shows as well, that
		
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			thing comes up again and again, that an
		
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			uncle had an upset stomach, and he had
		
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			used some kind of a mixture, and then
		
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			when your stomach is upset, they come and
		
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			tell you, son, look, you are a doctor.
		
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			But the prescription that I am about to
		
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			tell you, when you use such and such
		
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			a mixture, then there is a cure for
		
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			all kinds of stomach pain.
		
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			And it is very similar to the child
		
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			who sees that the matchbox is on fire,
		
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			then whatever fire is there, it is because
		
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			of the matchbox.
		
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			I got cured from such and such a
		
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			mixture, so whatever stomach disease it is, it
		
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			is the same, there is nothing else.
		
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			And my experience encompasses everything, and there is
		
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			an explanation for everything in it.
		
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			We talked about this last time.
		
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			This has become more important before the entire
		
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			country.
		
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			And apparently, all the precautions that needed to
		
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			be taken and all the public awareness that
		
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			needed to be raised has been done, and
		
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			all women and children are safe in our
		
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			country.
		
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			We can conveniently move on to other political
		
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			topics of discussion.
		
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			We choose to persist.
		
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			We are still looking to carry that discussion
		
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			forward.
		
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			So, there
		
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			were
		
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			a couple of issues.
		
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			Obviously, like we said last time as well,
		
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			there are so many complexities and layers in
		
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			it that there is no one talk or
		
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			no two talks, no matter how long they
		
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			are, they cannot address all the topics or
		
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			all the issues.
		
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			They cannot exhaust it.
		
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			So, there are a few aspects that we
		
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			covered last time.
		
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			There are a few that we want to
		
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			talk about this time.
		
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			Azam, you mentioned in the last show as
		
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			well, and what you just said, you were
		
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			alluding to that, that when people come to
		
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			a discussion, then yes, the real issue is
		
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			common among all of them, but the real
		
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			issue that they are pointing to, that the
		
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			real issue is Fahashi, and on the other
		
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			hand, the real issue is sexual repression.
		
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			And you said a sentence last time, that
		
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			if we take both of them towards extremes,
		
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			whether it is a lot of Fahashi or
		
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			a lot of sexual repression, its consequences will
		
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			be seen in the form of abuse.
		
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			Do you want to elaborate on that?
		
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			Yusuf, if we try to talk a little
		
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			from the perspective of psychology, both of these
		
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			approaches, they are not altogether, they are not
		
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			completely wrong.
		
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			Both of these approaches, they are hitting upon
		
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			something very important.
		
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			One of them, it is saying that the
		
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			sexual desire, that the sexual need is one
		
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			of the primary needs of any adult human,
		
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			at least.
		
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			And that should be addressed, and that should
		
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			be allowed to be fulfilled in the society,
		
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			by whatever means.
		
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			There can be a separate debate on what
		
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			those means should be, but by whatever means.
		
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			So the sexual repression position is talking towards
		
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			this.
		
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			The Fahashi one, they are also hitting upon
		
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			a very important point.
		
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			And that is, yes, there are some human
		
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			needs, and yes, there are some human, I
		
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			would say, inclinations to do something that is
		
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			not in favor of the community.
		
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			And then there are some inhibitions of ours,
		
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			which are in the form of morals, values,
		
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			rules, laws, which control our desires.
		
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			So both are talking about a very important
		
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			human desire to do something, and another human
		
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			ability to self-control.
		
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			So both are talking about that, and both
		
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			things are absolutely present in humans.
		
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			So to be clear, usually the camps from
		
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			which these criticisms or advocacy happens, so the
		
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			religious people are going to condemn Fahashi in
		
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			the society, that there is too much sexuality,
		
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			and then there is too much * in
		
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			the media, on the internet, etc.
		
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			And there is not enough segregation, and there
		
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			is not enough control or covering of what
		
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			needs to be covered.
		
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			So from one religious side, this kind of
		
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			criticism comes, this kind of advocacy comes, and
		
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			from the other side, which you would say
		
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			is relatively liberal or western or secular side,
		
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			they would say that this is taking place
		
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			because of a lot of sexual repression.
		
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			That there is a natural desire, there are
		
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			unnecessary social obstacles on it, you are not
		
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			letting it be fulfilled, because of which such
		
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			problems are arising.
		
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			So just to make sure that everyone has
		
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			an idea as to where these arguments are
		
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			coming from.
		
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			Please continue.
		
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			If we look at it a little more
		
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			closely, then the traditions from which these two
		
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			people are coming, we will find such examples
		
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			in those traditions, that where those ideals were
		
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			working out completely, there were also such events
		
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			happening.
		
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			Yes, there can be an argument on this,
		
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			that it was happening less or more, but
		
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			it was happening.
		
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			This is one thing.
		
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			But if we look at it from both
		
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			sides, then one more thing that is common
		
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			in both arguments, is that in both cases,
		
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			the freedom of will of a person has
		
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			no importance.
		
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			According to one, he is a slave to
		
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			his sexual desire, and according to the other,
		
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			he is just an object of the moral
		
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			code.
		
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			If that moral code is in its place,
		
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			or the sexual desire is in its place,
		
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			then according to both of them, a person
		
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			will do something right.
		
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			Right.
		
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			So this thing needs to be understood, that
		
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			there is no single cause.
		
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			It is quite possible that in some case,
		
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			we get the example of repression, in some
		
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			case, we get another example, and it is
		
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			also possible that in some case, we get
		
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			examples of third, fourth, fifth, etc.
		
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			Like you said, there is a multitude of
		
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			causes, so the camp that he belongs to,
		
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			or the camp that he supports the most,
		
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			when he gets examples in his support, he
		
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			will describe them properly, and when he favors
		
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			the other's camp, then those will be completely
		
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			ignored.
		
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			Evidence is not going to have any impact.
		
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			Absolutely.
		
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			And we have seen this many times, when
		
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			such debates take place, what happens is, the
		
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			one who is describing the cause of sexual
		
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			repression, he will say, look, this happens in
		
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			your madrasas.
		
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			And the one who is describing the cause
		
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			of morality, he will say, look, this happens
		
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			in your liberal societies.
		
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			So, both of them are unable to see
		
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			the examples in their own, but they are
		
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			able to see examples in others.
		
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			Absolutely.
		
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			Right.
		
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			And also, when we trace back into the
		
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			tradition, the way you said, when we go
		
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			back in the tradition, when they had their
		
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			way, and when they had the authority to
		
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			enact, whatever in their understanding was the prevention,
		
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			even then, there was prevalence at some level.
		
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			If we look at it from another angle,
		
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			when you trace back those traditions, even within
		
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			the religious tradition, you will find a criticism
		
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			of sexual repression.
		
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			And even within a secular tradition, you will
		
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			find a criticism of fahashi, as we say.
		
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			So, you will find that members of opposing
		
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			traditions, advocating the points of view that apparently
		
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			belong to the other compartment.
		
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			So, both of these, and the same thing
		
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			is that those who are now advocating that
		
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			tradition, they will hide those parts of their
		
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			own tradition in the same way, or they
		
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			will cover them up in the same way,
		
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			wherever they are, either side, the way they
		
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			ignore the evidence against their own cause.
		
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			And boiling down to where we started the
		
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			conversation, because the whole debate is about what
		
00:18:24 --> 00:18:25
			is the real issue.
		
00:18:26 --> 00:18:27
			And the real issue is coming from the
		
00:18:27 --> 00:18:28
			other side.
		
00:18:28 --> 00:18:29
			And we have taken the solution to the
		
00:18:29 --> 00:18:31
			real issue, and no one is taking us
		
00:18:31 --> 00:18:32
			seriously.
		
00:18:35 --> 00:18:40
			And Yusuf, we should also talk about this,
		
00:18:40 --> 00:18:47
			that it can be an explicit * language,
		
00:18:48 --> 00:18:51
			or it can be a harassing language.
		
00:18:52 --> 00:18:55
			There are a lot of things in our
		
00:18:55 --> 00:19:01
			general conversation, which are implicit things, which we
		
00:19:01 --> 00:19:02
			are transferring to each other, even though we
		
00:19:02 --> 00:19:05
			don't understand or don't want to.
		
00:19:05 --> 00:19:08
			We are transferring those meanings to each other.
		
00:19:11 --> 00:19:20
			Let's suppose that the common college students, who
		
00:19:20 --> 00:19:30
			have gone to college with us, and we
		
00:19:30 --> 00:19:34
			both know about the kind of discussions that
		
00:19:34 --> 00:19:35
			are taking place.
		
00:19:37 --> 00:19:41
			And what do we do about that?
		
00:19:43 --> 00:19:47
			We think that it was a common thing,
		
00:19:47 --> 00:19:49
			that they did it as a joke, that
		
00:19:49 --> 00:19:51
			it is not a big deal.
		
00:19:52 --> 00:19:58
			But those are your implicit beliefs, which are
		
00:19:58 --> 00:19:59
			in your mind, and if they are in
		
00:19:59 --> 00:20:00
			your mind, then they are coming to your
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:01
			tongue.
		
00:20:02 --> 00:20:03
			Without them, they are not coming.
		
00:20:04 --> 00:20:07
			And it is only a matter of time,
		
00:20:07 --> 00:20:12
			that given a particular kind of circumstances, those
		
00:20:12 --> 00:20:14
			implicit beliefs will change in the actions.
		
00:20:15 --> 00:20:17
			Those implicit beliefs will change in the actions.
		
00:20:18 --> 00:20:22
			So this carries us to another dimension, that
		
00:20:22 --> 00:20:29
			in your society, in a traditional way, some
		
00:20:29 --> 00:20:38
			of your belief structures, some understanding of right
		
00:20:38 --> 00:20:42
			and wrong, that is supposed to be a
		
00:20:42 --> 00:20:49
			preventive measure against such criminal activity.
		
00:20:51 --> 00:20:59
			That your morals are strongly tied to your
		
00:20:59 --> 00:21:02
			beliefs, and those beliefs are supposed to hold
		
00:21:02 --> 00:21:06
			you in check, despite the drives, and despite
		
00:21:06 --> 00:21:11
			the apparent ease or opportunity, that the society
		
00:21:11 --> 00:21:12
			may provide.
		
00:21:12 --> 00:21:16
			So there is also, as far as the
		
00:21:16 --> 00:21:21
			moral degradation is concerned, something that is seriously
		
00:21:21 --> 00:21:23
			wrong at the level of those beliefs.
		
00:21:24 --> 00:21:28
			That they are not performing the function that
		
00:21:28 --> 00:21:30
			they are supposed to perform socially.
		
00:21:31 --> 00:21:35
			And Yusuf, the social beliefs that you spoke
		
00:21:35 --> 00:21:41
			about, the two opposite camps that we were
		
00:21:41 --> 00:21:44
			talking about earlier, if we take their arguments
		
00:21:44 --> 00:21:49
			to logical conclusions, then it should be that
		
00:21:49 --> 00:21:52
			in a sexually repressed society, everyone is a
		
00:21:52 --> 00:21:56
			*, and in a Farsi society as well,
		
00:21:56 --> 00:21:57
			everyone is a *.
		
00:21:58 --> 00:21:58
			Exactly.
		
00:22:00 --> 00:22:12
			As you said, even in the past, those
		
00:22:12 --> 00:22:17
			social and cultural beliefs, they have the depth,
		
00:22:17 --> 00:22:22
			and they have the power to address this
		
00:22:22 --> 00:22:22
			issue.
		
00:22:24 --> 00:22:30
			So those things are present, as we were
		
00:22:30 --> 00:22:33
			talking the other time, and that should start
		
00:22:33 --> 00:22:37
			with our own homes, our own schools, our
		
00:22:37 --> 00:22:40
			own streets, and we should not think that
		
00:22:40 --> 00:22:43
			the girl we are commenting about, the girl
		
00:22:43 --> 00:22:49
			we are commenting about, they are in no
		
00:22:49 --> 00:22:55
			way, they are in no way going towards
		
00:22:55 --> 00:22:55
			that event.
		
00:22:57 --> 00:23:00
			The comments that you are making, those comments
		
00:23:00 --> 00:23:05
			are modulating other people's beliefs as well, and
		
00:23:05 --> 00:23:07
			they are also modulating your own beliefs.
		
00:23:10 --> 00:23:14
			So as those comments are being made, typically
		
00:23:14 --> 00:23:18
			those comments are a gruesome kind of objectification,
		
00:23:20 --> 00:23:28
			a gruesome kind of inferiority, they subject them
		
00:23:28 --> 00:23:28
			to that.
		
00:23:29 --> 00:23:32
			Whether that's done jokingly or whatever the case
		
00:23:32 --> 00:23:36
			may be, it is looking at the female
		
00:23:36 --> 00:23:41
			gender in particular, objectifying that to the nth
		
00:23:41 --> 00:23:44
			degree, and for some reason, this escapes the
		
00:23:44 --> 00:23:46
			criticism of either of the two camps, whether
		
00:23:46 --> 00:23:48
			we're talking about the religious camp or the
		
00:23:48 --> 00:23:53
			secular camp, this environment at a typical college
		
00:23:53 --> 00:24:00
			university, where a group of boys has turned
		
00:24:00 --> 00:24:05
			a completely objectified language of girls into a
		
00:24:05 --> 00:24:06
			norm.
		
00:24:08 --> 00:24:10
			It is something that we don't pay a
		
00:24:10 --> 00:24:14
			lot of attention to, that how that, like
		
00:24:14 --> 00:24:17
			you said, it is a reflection of beliefs
		
00:24:17 --> 00:24:21
			that they have, but it is also modulating,
		
00:24:21 --> 00:24:26
			it is further strengthening and reinforcing that belief
		
00:24:26 --> 00:24:30
			that this is definitely there to fulfill my
		
00:24:30 --> 00:24:33
			desire, this is definitely there, this is its
		
00:24:33 --> 00:24:34
			function.
		
00:24:35 --> 00:24:38
			So now if one person from that group
		
00:24:38 --> 00:24:46
			will eventually end up abusing when he or
		
00:24:46 --> 00:24:49
			she gets, when he typically gets the opportunity,
		
00:24:50 --> 00:24:54
			then that's only understandable, that is only understandable.
		
00:24:54 --> 00:24:56
			And the thing that happened to us last
		
00:24:56 --> 00:25:03
			time, we barely alluded to it, that's actually
		
00:25:03 --> 00:25:08
			not as commonly reported, but we would find
		
00:25:08 --> 00:25:15
			that a boy from such a group, with
		
00:25:15 --> 00:25:20
			a girl over social media or whatever, comes
		
00:25:20 --> 00:25:22
			into contact, right?
		
00:25:22 --> 00:25:26
			And the girl is looking for emotional support.
		
00:25:27 --> 00:25:30
			And in providing that emotional support, he does
		
00:25:30 --> 00:25:34
			that job wonderfully well, but it is towards
		
00:25:34 --> 00:25:39
			a very specific end that she provides him
		
00:25:39 --> 00:25:44
			a sexual satisfaction, right?
		
00:25:44 --> 00:25:50
			And so that, the type of abuse that
		
00:25:50 --> 00:25:54
			is, it is very gradual, it is very
		
00:25:54 --> 00:25:59
			systematic, it is very insidious, the way it
		
00:25:59 --> 00:26:02
			progresses and the way the abuse ends up
		
00:26:02 --> 00:26:03
			taking place.
		
00:26:04 --> 00:26:07
			Throughout that whole process, he will continue to
		
00:26:07 --> 00:26:11
			rely on any story or any rationalization from
		
00:26:11 --> 00:26:14
			either side, but that doesn't take away from
		
00:26:14 --> 00:26:21
			the fact that there is someone who is
		
00:26:21 --> 00:26:27
			praying, who is a predator, who is gradually
		
00:26:27 --> 00:26:34
			taking advantage of someone's emotional vulnerability, and would
		
00:26:34 --> 00:26:37
			abuse them at some point.
		
00:26:38 --> 00:26:41
			There are at least three things that come
		
00:26:41 --> 00:26:42
			to my mind from what you said, and
		
00:26:42 --> 00:26:46
			those three can be controversial as well.
		
00:26:46 --> 00:26:49
			The first thing is, suppose A, B, C,
		
00:26:49 --> 00:26:51
			D, these four boys are talking about a
		
00:26:51 --> 00:26:57
			girl, and A says something, and that reinforces
		
00:26:57 --> 00:27:04
			C's implicit belief that I should be doing
		
00:27:04 --> 00:27:06
			something with that girl.
		
00:27:07 --> 00:27:09
			Or C ended up doing that thing.
		
00:27:10 --> 00:27:16
			So, is A's legal fault in that?
		
00:27:16 --> 00:27:21
			But apart from that, will there be any
		
00:27:21 --> 00:27:22
			fault in that as well?
		
00:27:23 --> 00:27:27
			Again, when we look at this whole society,
		
00:27:28 --> 00:27:33
			or the reaction to the motorway incident, A
		
00:27:33 --> 00:27:34
			might have taken part in the protest with
		
00:27:34 --> 00:27:40
			the same excitement that this shouldn't have happened.
		
00:27:41 --> 00:27:43
			This shouldn't have happened.
		
00:27:43 --> 00:27:47
			A might have even posted on Facebook that
		
00:27:47 --> 00:27:48
			this shouldn't have happened.
		
00:27:49 --> 00:27:50
			Why did this happen?
		
00:27:50 --> 00:27:50
			This is oppression.
		
00:27:51 --> 00:27:54
			And maybe he joined a secular camp, or
		
00:27:54 --> 00:27:57
			a religious camp, or a feminist camp, or
		
00:27:57 --> 00:27:59
			a Shariah camp, or he might have joined
		
00:27:59 --> 00:28:03
			a camp and shouted slogans that he should
		
00:28:03 --> 00:28:05
			be punished for this, or something like that.
		
00:28:05 --> 00:28:06
			He must have done it.
		
00:28:07 --> 00:28:12
			But did A consider that the way I
		
00:28:12 --> 00:28:18
			behave, the way I objectify, the way I
		
00:28:18 --> 00:28:19
			don't see anything other than the opposite gender
		
00:28:19 --> 00:28:25
			as a sexual object, am I contributing to
		
00:28:25 --> 00:28:26
			the problem?
		
00:28:26 --> 00:28:26
			Yes.
		
00:28:27 --> 00:28:29
			That's what should have changed.
		
00:28:30 --> 00:28:33
			That is what should have been altered.
		
00:28:34 --> 00:28:38
			And if it is not being altered, it
		
00:28:38 --> 00:28:39
			is not being altered.
		
00:28:39 --> 00:28:41
			And let's be very clear, that because of
		
00:28:41 --> 00:28:47
			social and moral constraints, A didn't do anything
		
00:28:47 --> 00:28:47
			directly.
		
00:28:48 --> 00:28:51
			Let's say A ends up getting married.
		
00:28:52 --> 00:28:57
			Though that implicit belief is going to influence
		
00:28:57 --> 00:29:03
			negatively, catastrophically, that marriage, and the family that
		
00:29:03 --> 00:29:05
			comes as a consequence of that marriage.
		
00:29:06 --> 00:29:10
			So Yusuf, this was my second point.
		
00:29:11 --> 00:29:17
			That someone seeing the other gender as an
		
00:29:17 --> 00:29:21
			object to fulfill its own sexual desire, and
		
00:29:21 --> 00:29:24
			that person marries someone.
		
00:29:26 --> 00:29:32
			And that marriage, the children, everything is done.
		
00:29:33 --> 00:29:34
			So, how?
		
00:29:36 --> 00:29:40
			On one hand, we say that sexual abuse
		
00:29:40 --> 00:29:43
			is like objectifying the person.
		
00:29:44 --> 00:29:49
			So, on the other hand, he objectified someone
		
00:29:49 --> 00:29:50
			and then married her.
		
00:29:53 --> 00:29:58
			So, the attitude of both of them towards
		
00:29:58 --> 00:30:02
			the other person, there may be a difference
		
00:30:02 --> 00:30:04
			in degrees, and there will be, because of
		
00:30:04 --> 00:30:06
			the institution of marriage.
		
00:30:06 --> 00:30:10
			But the attitude will be the same for
		
00:30:10 --> 00:30:10
			both.
		
00:30:12 --> 00:30:13
			Absolutely.
		
00:30:13 --> 00:30:20
			And we will see the consequences as to
		
00:30:20 --> 00:30:21
			how he treats that other person.
		
00:30:21 --> 00:30:23
			That is not going to be a relationship.
		
00:30:23 --> 00:30:25
			That is going to be a subjugation.
		
00:30:26 --> 00:30:28
			That is not, as far as A is
		
00:30:28 --> 00:30:32
			concerned, he is not relating with his wife.
		
00:30:32 --> 00:30:39
			He is subjugating her, enslaving her for vested
		
00:30:39 --> 00:30:40
			interests and purposes.
		
00:30:41 --> 00:30:46
			Wherever her rights are concerned, her value as
		
00:30:46 --> 00:30:49
			a human being, as an individual is concerned,
		
00:30:50 --> 00:30:52
			they are going to be grossly neglected.
		
00:30:52 --> 00:30:59
			So, if we can, if you take my
		
00:30:59 --> 00:31:07
			terms in neutral forms, So, for A, his
		
00:31:07 --> 00:31:10
			wife is no more than a * material
		
00:31:10 --> 00:31:11
			for him.
		
00:31:15 --> 00:31:17
			That seems to be very appropriate, yes.
		
00:31:18 --> 00:31:21
			That is an appropriate depiction of an incredibly
		
00:31:21 --> 00:31:23
			inappropriate social reality.
		
00:31:26 --> 00:31:33
			So, Yusuf bhai, someone can say that you
		
00:31:33 --> 00:31:36
			are being too unrealistic, you are being too
		
00:31:36 --> 00:31:37
			cynical and all that.
		
00:31:40 --> 00:31:41
			Someone can, they do.
		
00:31:43 --> 00:31:50
			So, when someone says, what is my fault
		
00:31:50 --> 00:31:52
			in this, we are just joking and all
		
00:31:52 --> 00:31:59
			that, so, are we not forgetting that the
		
00:31:59 --> 00:32:04
			society, the culture that is developing, we are
		
00:32:04 --> 00:32:08
			all actors, we are all players in it.
		
00:32:08 --> 00:32:10
			And we are all affecting our fellow human
		
00:32:10 --> 00:32:13
			beings, and we are being affected.
		
00:32:14 --> 00:32:15
			Absolutely.
		
00:32:15 --> 00:32:15
			Absolutely.
		
00:32:16 --> 00:32:25
			I mean, if you just
		
00:32:25 --> 00:32:31
			put it in plain text, and see what
		
00:32:31 --> 00:32:36
			it represents, and then claim that this was
		
00:32:36 --> 00:32:37
			just a joke.
		
00:32:38 --> 00:32:42
			Such incidents are saying that this joke has
		
00:32:42 --> 00:32:43
			crossed its limits long ago.
		
00:32:43 --> 00:32:47
			And perhaps, something that started as a joke,
		
00:32:47 --> 00:32:53
			is now reflecting a hidden belief, which has
		
00:32:53 --> 00:32:55
			now started showing its actions to everyone.
		
00:32:57 --> 00:32:58
			Now, this is no longer a joke.
		
00:32:59 --> 00:33:01
			It's no longer a joke.
		
00:33:02 --> 00:33:05
			We don't even have to, we don't have
		
00:33:05 --> 00:33:09
			to go into a lot of details of
		
00:33:09 --> 00:33:12
			the vulgarity that exists, you just pick up
		
00:33:12 --> 00:33:14
			the simplest term that they use, Bachchi.
		
00:33:16 --> 00:33:21
			Bachchi or, leave it.
		
00:33:23 --> 00:33:23
			Right.
		
00:33:23 --> 00:33:27
			So, this is, it's embarrassing as to how
		
00:33:27 --> 00:33:28
			common this is.
		
00:33:29 --> 00:33:31
			And what does that word represent?
		
00:33:31 --> 00:33:35
			Well, that word is representing how you have
		
00:33:35 --> 00:33:40
			passed an absolute judgment over the intellectual inferiority,
		
00:33:40 --> 00:33:46
			over the just hierarchical inferiority of the other
		
00:33:46 --> 00:33:48
			gender, entirely.
		
00:33:50 --> 00:33:54
			And that too in the other gender, classification.
		
00:33:55 --> 00:33:57
			This is my sister, this is my mother,
		
00:33:58 --> 00:33:59
			but this is Bachchi.
		
00:34:00 --> 00:34:00
			Absolutely.
		
00:34:01 --> 00:34:10
			And that, this conflict, this manifests, this manifests
		
00:34:10 --> 00:34:16
			very problematically, incredibly pathologically in a lot of
		
00:34:16 --> 00:34:21
			people, whose minds refuse to accept this compartmentalization.
		
00:34:22 --> 00:34:25
			And we see that in our clinical practice.
		
00:34:25 --> 00:34:31
			How their obsessions, how their OCD, depression, anxiety,
		
00:34:32 --> 00:34:40
			dreams, this classification, this compartmentalization, it's not playing
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:43
			out, it's not making sense anymore.
		
00:34:43 --> 00:34:46
			And so they're suffering as a consequence.
		
00:34:46 --> 00:34:48
			They're suffering as a consequence.
		
00:34:48 --> 00:34:56
			So Yusuf, there's a question, what can we
		
00:34:56 --> 00:34:56
			do?
		
00:34:58 --> 00:34:59
			What can we do?
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:02
			What can we possibly do?
		
00:35:03 --> 00:35:06
			I think before we come to that question,
		
00:35:06 --> 00:35:08
			and we will come to that question, one
		
00:35:08 --> 00:35:11
			area that I do want us to have
		
00:35:11 --> 00:35:18
			a discussion on, is how our institutions, who
		
00:35:18 --> 00:35:29
			had to do our moral ethical training, who
		
00:35:29 --> 00:35:36
			had to, our internal inhibitions, our internal constraints,
		
00:35:36 --> 00:35:40
			that we have an ability, that even when
		
00:35:40 --> 00:35:46
			the opportunity arises, we have that moral strength
		
00:35:46 --> 00:35:51
			to not exploit the other, to not abuse
		
00:35:51 --> 00:35:52
			the other.
		
00:35:52 --> 00:35:55
			That abuse doesn't necessarily have to be sexual,
		
00:35:55 --> 00:35:57
			but yes, of course, sexual as well.
		
00:35:59 --> 00:36:03
			What role have those institutions played?
		
00:36:04 --> 00:36:07
			What role have those institutions played?
		
00:36:07 --> 00:36:12
			And where is that, which direction is that
		
00:36:12 --> 00:36:13
			going?
		
00:36:19 --> 00:36:25
			Now we are going in deep portals, where
		
00:36:25 --> 00:36:27
			we shouldn't go.
		
00:36:29 --> 00:36:32
			It's necessary to go there, but it's necessary
		
00:36:32 --> 00:36:32
			to go there.
		
00:36:33 --> 00:36:37
			We cannot pretend anymore that we shouldn't talk
		
00:36:37 --> 00:36:39
			about this, we shouldn't talk about that.
		
00:36:40 --> 00:36:44
			So, what do you mean by institutions?
		
00:36:45 --> 00:36:48
			Do you mean political, governmental institutions?
		
00:36:49 --> 00:36:51
			I mean educational institutions.
		
00:36:51 --> 00:36:56
			I mean educational institutions, that we go to
		
00:36:56 --> 00:36:57
			school for the sake of education and training.
		
00:37:01 --> 00:37:01
			Okay?
		
00:37:02 --> 00:37:09
			Our traditional moral inhibitions, are influenced by religion,
		
00:37:10 --> 00:37:16
			by religious education, particularly in our society, by
		
00:37:16 --> 00:37:16
			Islam.
		
00:37:19 --> 00:37:22
			That in such matters, how are you supposed
		
00:37:22 --> 00:37:23
			to be responsible?
		
00:37:24 --> 00:37:25
			How do you have to show responsibility?
		
00:37:26 --> 00:37:27
			How do you have to show righteousness?
		
00:37:29 --> 00:37:33
			What becomes of that religious tradition?
		
00:37:33 --> 00:37:39
			What becomes of those religious beliefs, once you
		
00:37:39 --> 00:37:44
			go through a typical school, college, university education?
		
00:37:47 --> 00:37:52
			One answer could be this, if we talk
		
00:37:52 --> 00:37:58
			about a typical school, college, institution, first of
		
00:37:58 --> 00:38:03
			all, there is no religious education or training.
		
00:38:04 --> 00:38:05
			I would say education.
		
00:38:06 --> 00:38:09
			There is no education, and there is no
		
00:38:09 --> 00:38:10
			training at all.
		
00:38:10 --> 00:38:11
			There is no training at all.
		
00:38:11 --> 00:38:16
			Even for that matter, there are no non
		
00:38:16 --> 00:38:20
			-religious aspects of life there, which we call
		
00:38:20 --> 00:38:22
			normal civic life.
		
00:38:22 --> 00:38:24
			How to walk on the road, how to
		
00:38:24 --> 00:38:29
			talk to someone, how to deal with each
		
00:38:29 --> 00:38:33
			other, even those normal civic duties, there is
		
00:38:33 --> 00:38:36
			no element of training at all.
		
00:38:36 --> 00:38:40
			And we know that in our schools, the
		
00:38:40 --> 00:38:44
			only way to overload information is that.
		
00:38:45 --> 00:38:52
			As far as religious institutions are concerned, we
		
00:38:52 --> 00:38:59
			should also point out that day by day,
		
00:39:00 --> 00:39:05
			those institutions are becoming, in a sense, irrelevant
		
00:39:05 --> 00:39:13
			from our normal social, cultural discourse and the
		
00:39:13 --> 00:39:14
			role they play there.
		
00:39:15 --> 00:39:21
			That member who was in the place of
		
00:39:21 --> 00:39:27
			training, now that member is more inclined towards
		
00:39:27 --> 00:39:30
			dealing with the sectarian issues and all that.
		
00:39:31 --> 00:39:31
			Absolutely right.
		
00:39:32 --> 00:39:37
			So, the two institutions, our school, college, university,
		
00:39:38 --> 00:39:47
			or our religious institutions, which we hope will
		
00:39:47 --> 00:39:53
			educate our society, will train them.
		
00:39:54 --> 00:40:00
			The valueless education, that's actually something that the
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:04
			school, university prides itself on.
		
00:40:04 --> 00:40:07
			That we are providing valueless education.
		
00:40:07 --> 00:40:12
			We are creating a value-free environment.
		
00:40:13 --> 00:40:18
			Value-free and something that you said earlier,
		
00:40:18 --> 00:40:26
			that live your dreams, do what you want
		
00:40:26 --> 00:40:33
			to do, do not care about what anyone
		
00:40:33 --> 00:40:34
			else says.
		
00:40:35 --> 00:40:36
			Be who you are.
		
00:40:36 --> 00:40:38
			Be who you are.
		
00:40:38 --> 00:40:40
			What is implicit in all these messages?
		
00:40:41 --> 00:40:48
			That you become a narcissist who cares for
		
00:40:48 --> 00:40:51
			no one else in the universe and who
		
00:40:51 --> 00:40:56
			uses anything else for his own purposes.
		
00:40:57 --> 00:41:00
			And if you look at all these messages,
		
00:41:01 --> 00:41:04
			one thing is that you should do this,
		
00:41:04 --> 00:41:06
			you should live this way, you should live
		
00:41:06 --> 00:41:07
			this way.
		
00:41:08 --> 00:41:12
			But there is nothing on this thing that
		
00:41:12 --> 00:41:14
			you should not do.
		
00:41:15 --> 00:41:17
			How to practice self-control?
		
00:41:17 --> 00:41:21
			How to inhibit your desires?
		
00:41:21 --> 00:41:25
			The conversation on that, and in fact, especially
		
00:41:25 --> 00:41:31
			in our institutions, which are school, college, there,
		
00:41:31 --> 00:41:33
			in a way, it is said that it
		
00:41:33 --> 00:41:37
			is bad to control your desires or impulses.
		
00:41:40 --> 00:41:45
			That you are restraining yourself because of something
		
00:41:45 --> 00:41:45
			else.
		
00:41:46 --> 00:41:50
			And that's bad for the expression, the complete
		
00:41:50 --> 00:41:52
			expression of your personality.
		
00:41:53 --> 00:41:53
			Absolutely.
		
00:41:54 --> 00:42:00
			Now this valueless education, which practically stands for
		
00:42:00 --> 00:42:04
			nothing and is proud of not standing for
		
00:42:04 --> 00:42:05
			anything.
		
00:42:05 --> 00:42:08
			When such incidents happen, you're standing on very
		
00:42:08 --> 00:42:11
			wobbly ground when you're trying to blame this
		
00:42:11 --> 00:42:12
			or that.
		
00:42:13 --> 00:42:15
			Now all of a sudden it is an
		
00:42:15 --> 00:42:16
			accepted value that this shouldn't have happened.
		
00:42:17 --> 00:42:19
			How do you make that?
		
00:42:19 --> 00:42:22
			How can you live with that contradiction?
		
00:42:22 --> 00:42:24
			How do you justify yourself in making that
		
00:42:24 --> 00:42:25
			claim?
		
00:42:25 --> 00:42:33
			So, Yusuf, this rhetoric that go for your
		
00:42:33 --> 00:42:37
			dreams, it becomes inconsistent that you teach this
		
00:42:37 --> 00:42:39
			everywhere, go for your dreams, go for dreams,
		
00:42:40 --> 00:42:41
			and then you tell them 3-4 things
		
00:42:41 --> 00:42:43
			that you don't want to do this.
		
00:42:46 --> 00:42:50
			It's filled with internal inconsistencies, right?
		
00:42:54 --> 00:42:58
			The presupposition behind it is that as a
		
00:42:58 --> 00:43:00
			human being, whatever comes to your mind, whatever
		
00:43:00 --> 00:43:03
			comes to your heart, whatever your desire is,
		
00:43:04 --> 00:43:05
			it can't go wrong, right?
		
00:43:05 --> 00:43:07
			You have to self-actualize.
		
00:43:07 --> 00:43:11
			Your highest goal is self-actualizing.
		
00:43:11 --> 00:43:16
			What is being actualized is its sexual immorality.
		
00:43:16 --> 00:43:17
			Nobody cares.
		
00:43:17 --> 00:43:18
			Right?
		
00:43:18 --> 00:43:20
			You have to self-actualize that.
		
00:43:20 --> 00:43:22
			The bad thing is that society is stopping
		
00:43:22 --> 00:43:22
			you.
		
00:43:23 --> 00:43:24
			It's not letting you do it.
		
00:43:25 --> 00:43:26
			It's not letting you express yourself.
		
00:43:27 --> 00:43:30
			What are you going to do then?
		
00:43:30 --> 00:43:32
			If that's the ground that you're coming from.
		
00:43:33 --> 00:43:39
			In a way, the * or whoever is
		
00:43:39 --> 00:43:45
			doing something that society doesn't accept, is more
		
00:43:45 --> 00:43:50
			consistent with the self-actualization paradigm that he
		
00:43:50 --> 00:43:51
			is doing what he wants to do.
		
00:43:53 --> 00:43:55
			That's something that has to be taken seriously
		
00:43:55 --> 00:44:01
			that the slogans you have, the ideologies you
		
00:44:01 --> 00:44:03
			have, it's a logical corollary of that.
		
00:44:04 --> 00:44:08
			And if you can't see that, then there's
		
00:44:08 --> 00:44:10
			no cure to voluntary blindness.
		
00:44:11 --> 00:44:14
			There's nothing anyone can do about it.
		
00:44:14 --> 00:44:17
			At the same time, like you said, our
		
00:44:17 --> 00:44:21
			other institutions, from where we would expect that
		
00:44:21 --> 00:44:26
			you will provide that moral ethical foundation in
		
00:44:26 --> 00:44:31
			which those internal restraints people have the strength
		
00:44:31 --> 00:44:32
			to do to exercise.
		
00:44:33 --> 00:44:38
			There, the irrelevance that they are faced with
		
00:44:38 --> 00:44:43
			that in our society, in our culture, they
		
00:44:43 --> 00:44:44
			no longer have that position.
		
00:44:46 --> 00:44:52
			It is now a fact that whatever goes
		
00:44:52 --> 00:44:56
			on short of screaming, there is very little
		
00:44:56 --> 00:44:58
			that they can do.
		
00:44:58 --> 00:45:01
			And unless and until that position is repaired,
		
00:45:01 --> 00:45:05
			that there are certain very serious questions that
		
00:45:05 --> 00:45:09
			the other social institutions, the university in particular,
		
00:45:10 --> 00:45:15
			has posed to the religious institutions that they
		
00:45:15 --> 00:45:17
			have not taken seriously.
		
00:45:19 --> 00:45:23
			The social reality of the university, their authority,
		
00:45:24 --> 00:45:29
			not acknowledging it and not taking it seriously,
		
00:45:30 --> 00:45:37
			refusing to walk with it, has led for
		
00:45:37 --> 00:45:41
			this irrelevance, has led for the loss of
		
00:45:41 --> 00:45:46
			this position to actually positively influence the society
		
00:45:46 --> 00:45:49
			the way they were responsible to do.
		
00:45:50 --> 00:45:52
			Or it is what it is.
		
00:45:52 --> 00:45:53
			It is what it is.
		
00:45:54 --> 00:45:57
			It is actually a miracle that in this
		
00:45:57 --> 00:46:02
			situation, in this social scenario, there are still
		
00:46:02 --> 00:46:06
			people who have those moral restraints.
		
00:46:07 --> 00:46:15
			There are still people who strengthen themselves And
		
00:46:15 --> 00:46:21
			despite all the opportunities of exploitation and abuse,
		
00:46:23 --> 00:46:25
			they act responsibly.
		
00:46:26 --> 00:46:27
			They act with discipline.
		
00:46:27 --> 00:46:29
			That's actually pretty incredible.
		
00:46:30 --> 00:46:32
			That is one of the greatest signs of
		
00:46:32 --> 00:46:34
			God in the times that we are living
		
00:46:34 --> 00:46:35
			in.
		
00:46:35 --> 00:46:35
			Seriously.
		
00:46:36 --> 00:46:40
			So, Yusuf, we have the last 10 minutes.
		
00:46:41 --> 00:46:42
			What do we have to do?
		
00:46:44 --> 00:46:47
			One thing, the last time we spoke about
		
00:46:47 --> 00:46:50
			it, it was part of our agenda that
		
00:46:50 --> 00:46:54
			we said that we will give out, especially
		
00:46:54 --> 00:46:57
			the anxiety that people had started experiencing and
		
00:46:57 --> 00:47:01
			rightly so, that after all this, an insecurity
		
00:47:01 --> 00:47:04
			develops, a fear develops.
		
00:47:06 --> 00:47:10
			Before you go to your usual activities, you
		
00:47:10 --> 00:47:13
			think again and again whether to go or
		
00:47:13 --> 00:47:14
			not to go.
		
00:47:14 --> 00:47:15
			Something like this can happen to us too.
		
00:47:16 --> 00:47:18
			And that can become very debilitating.
		
00:47:19 --> 00:47:23
			And what is it that we can advise,
		
00:47:24 --> 00:47:27
			particularly the women out there, to do?
		
00:47:28 --> 00:47:30
			And they're getting all kinds of advocacies that
		
00:47:30 --> 00:47:34
			you should have a taser, pepper spray, you
		
00:47:34 --> 00:47:37
			should take self-defense classes, you should know
		
00:47:37 --> 00:47:43
			martial arts, you should be carrying a weapon,
		
00:47:44 --> 00:47:46
			you should be traveling at a particular time
		
00:47:46 --> 00:47:48
			and not at other times, etc.
		
00:47:49 --> 00:47:51
			There's all kinds of suggestions that are being
		
00:47:51 --> 00:47:55
			given and the anxiety is on the rise.
		
00:47:55 --> 00:47:58
			What should they do?
		
00:47:59 --> 00:48:04
			So, Yusuf, anxiety is absolutely justified.
		
00:48:05 --> 00:48:13
			And we can only say that you should
		
00:48:13 --> 00:48:24
			take all the humanly possible precautions, especially
		
00:48:24 --> 00:48:27
			parents, take good care of their children, who
		
00:48:27 --> 00:48:29
			they are meeting, who they are not meeting,
		
00:48:29 --> 00:48:32
			what kind of friendships they are having, and
		
00:48:32 --> 00:48:36
			especially if they are meeting with people who
		
00:48:36 --> 00:48:39
			are older than they are.
		
00:48:42 --> 00:48:50
			But despite all this, despite all this, we
		
00:48:50 --> 00:48:54
			should assure ourselves that it is, as you
		
00:48:54 --> 00:48:57
			said, that yes, it is prevalent, but it
		
00:48:57 --> 00:49:00
			is not the norm as yet.
		
00:49:01 --> 00:49:04
			So, that is at least something to be
		
00:49:04 --> 00:49:07
			assured that there are still good places, good
		
00:49:07 --> 00:49:11
			people, and they will be there.
		
00:49:13 --> 00:49:17
			But we all should be, as we all
		
00:49:17 --> 00:49:20
			should be, as we talked about today, who
		
00:49:20 --> 00:49:23
			we are talking to among our friends, who
		
00:49:23 --> 00:49:27
			we are talking to in our gatherings, we
		
00:49:27 --> 00:49:29
			all should be, first of all, we should
		
00:49:29 --> 00:49:31
			address those things ourselves.
		
00:49:32 --> 00:49:35
			If you can't address them, then at least
		
00:49:35 --> 00:49:36
			stay away from them.
		
00:49:38 --> 00:49:45
			And especially parents, this might seem authoritarian, but
		
00:49:45 --> 00:49:49
			keep an eye on your children.
		
00:49:49 --> 00:49:51
			This is very, very important.
		
00:49:52 --> 00:49:58
			Do not trust other than the close family
		
00:49:58 --> 00:49:59
			members.
		
00:50:01 --> 00:50:02
			Absolutely.
		
00:50:02 --> 00:50:05
			And at all costs, whatever the one-to
		
00:50:05 --> 00:50:13
			-one encounter is, that should be as best
		
00:50:13 --> 00:50:15
			avoided as possible.
		
00:50:15 --> 00:50:22
			In a closed space, being alone with anyone,
		
00:50:23 --> 00:50:26
			it should be avoided at all costs.
		
00:50:26 --> 00:50:29
			We know for a fact that it is
		
00:50:29 --> 00:50:33
			close, it is even relationships of uncle and
		
00:50:33 --> 00:50:39
			aunt that have sexually abused children in very
		
00:50:39 --> 00:50:42
			closed spaces like that.
		
00:50:42 --> 00:50:46
			So that needs to be as best avoided
		
00:50:46 --> 00:50:47
			as possible.
		
00:50:48 --> 00:50:52
			Whatever precautions you can take that you feel
		
00:50:52 --> 00:50:54
			are necessary, by all means, take them.
		
00:50:55 --> 00:50:56
			By all means, take them.
		
00:50:57 --> 00:51:05
			After identifying your social responsibility, elaborate it and
		
00:51:05 --> 00:51:09
			tell yourself, be very clear what that is
		
00:51:09 --> 00:51:11
			and then work towards enacting that.
		
00:51:12 --> 00:51:13
			Because a lot of that anxiety is not
		
00:51:13 --> 00:51:15
			just fear that something will happen to me.
		
00:51:16 --> 00:51:18
			It is also an anxiety that I am
		
00:51:18 --> 00:51:19
			not doing enough.
		
00:51:19 --> 00:51:21
			The thing we said last time that all
		
00:51:21 --> 00:51:22
			of us are responsible.
		
00:51:22 --> 00:51:24
			All of us are responsible.
		
00:51:24 --> 00:51:25
			We need to be playing our part to
		
00:51:25 --> 00:51:26
			prevent things like this from happening.
		
00:51:27 --> 00:51:29
			Identify what that responsibility is.
		
00:51:29 --> 00:51:32
			And number three, once you've done, taken the
		
00:51:32 --> 00:51:36
			precautions and identified your social responsibility and you're
		
00:51:36 --> 00:51:42
			working on it, stop exposing yourself to the
		
00:51:42 --> 00:51:44
			same news over and over and over again.
		
00:51:45 --> 00:51:48
			The anxiety that is causing you, creating a
		
00:51:48 --> 00:51:52
			debilitating state for you, don't expose yourself to
		
00:51:52 --> 00:51:53
			it again and again.
		
00:51:53 --> 00:51:56
			If the practical measures that had to come
		
00:51:56 --> 00:51:59
			out of it, those practical measures you have
		
00:51:59 --> 00:51:59
			drawn.
		
00:52:01 --> 00:52:01
			Right?
		
00:52:02 --> 00:52:05
			So these are the three steps that I
		
00:52:05 --> 00:52:07
			would emphasize.
		
00:52:08 --> 00:52:10
			Now, the second step from that that you
		
00:52:10 --> 00:52:14
			identify your social responsibility and elaborate it.
		
00:52:14 --> 00:52:16
			And quite honestly, this is something that was
		
00:52:16 --> 00:52:18
			part of the reflections that we shared after
		
00:52:18 --> 00:52:21
			last week's meeting and part of the reason
		
00:52:21 --> 00:52:25
			why we're doing another reflection session as well,
		
00:52:25 --> 00:52:27
			reflection on that incident.
		
00:52:27 --> 00:52:30
			Again, there's a lot of people who have
		
00:52:30 --> 00:52:35
			been through such events, incidents, the number in
		
00:52:35 --> 00:52:37
			the tens of thousands, if not the hundreds
		
00:52:37 --> 00:52:38
			of thousands, to be honest.
		
00:52:39 --> 00:52:39
			Right?
		
00:52:39 --> 00:52:41
			If every fifth girl child is being abused,
		
00:52:42 --> 00:52:45
			every 20th boy is being abused.
		
00:52:46 --> 00:52:49
			And then something that women have to face
		
00:52:49 --> 00:52:51
			repeatedly as well.
		
00:52:51 --> 00:52:55
			There's a lot of people who have, as
		
00:52:55 --> 00:53:00
			a consequence of these experiences, psychological challenges that
		
00:53:00 --> 00:53:01
			they are now dealing with.
		
00:53:11 --> 00:53:14
			So as mental health professionals, what is it
		
00:53:14 --> 00:53:16
			that we can possibly do?
		
00:53:16 --> 00:53:19
			And we were planning on doing this earlier,
		
00:53:19 --> 00:53:23
			but now, we're looking to speed it up
		
00:53:23 --> 00:53:24
			as much as possible.
		
00:53:24 --> 00:53:28
			We're launching this platform called telepsychiatry.pk. Right?
		
00:53:29 --> 00:53:33
			And what we want to advocate is anyone
		
00:53:33 --> 00:53:39
			who has experienced this abuse of any sort
		
00:53:39 --> 00:53:45
			at any age and requires professional help, requires
		
00:53:45 --> 00:53:50
			psychological support, they can reach out for help.
		
00:53:51 --> 00:53:52
			Even if they can't afford it.
		
00:53:53 --> 00:53:55
			Even if they can't afford it.
		
00:53:57 --> 00:53:59
			Affordability should not be an obstacle.
		
00:54:02 --> 00:54:06
			Anonymity will be ensured.
		
00:54:06 --> 00:54:09
			If people are reaching out, one of the
		
00:54:09 --> 00:54:11
			main reasons they don't reach out is they
		
00:54:11 --> 00:54:13
			don't want to identify themselves.
		
00:54:13 --> 00:54:14
			Fair enough.
		
00:54:14 --> 00:54:18
			We will create a situation, an online interaction
		
00:54:18 --> 00:54:21
			anyway, in which you don't need to reveal
		
00:54:21 --> 00:54:22
			your identity.
		
00:54:24 --> 00:54:27
			The second obstacle is finances.
		
00:54:28 --> 00:54:30
			How will we afford it?
		
00:54:30 --> 00:54:34
			If you can't afford it, you simply tell
		
00:54:34 --> 00:54:36
			us, and we manage.
		
00:54:37 --> 00:54:38
			Fair enough.
		
00:54:39 --> 00:54:41
			These are the two main obstacles.
		
00:54:41 --> 00:54:45
			So, through telepsychiatry.pk, which will be launched
		
00:54:45 --> 00:54:48
			hopefully in two weeks, we remove both of
		
00:54:48 --> 00:54:50
			these obstacles and we provide the help that
		
00:54:50 --> 00:54:52
			is necessary and that is needed.
		
00:54:52 --> 00:54:55
			Now, obviously, the number of people that need
		
00:54:55 --> 00:55:00
			that help, me and Azam, no matter how
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:04
			hard we try, we can't do this on
		
00:55:04 --> 00:55:04
			our own.
		
00:55:04 --> 00:55:06
			We cannot do this on our own.
		
00:55:07 --> 00:55:11
			We have a pretty much loaded calendar as
		
00:55:11 --> 00:55:12
			it is, right?
		
00:55:12 --> 00:55:15
			It's pretty difficult for us to manage whatever
		
00:55:15 --> 00:55:17
			is already on our plate.
		
00:55:17 --> 00:55:19
			So, we will be working with a team.
		
00:55:20 --> 00:55:25
			Obviously, the deficiency in our society, not everyone
		
00:55:25 --> 00:55:28
			is a trained psychiatrist, but that doesn't mean
		
00:55:28 --> 00:55:30
			anyone who's anything can just get up and
		
00:55:30 --> 00:55:31
			be a counselor.
		
00:55:31 --> 00:55:35
			But we will, in our capacity, supervise people
		
00:55:35 --> 00:55:38
			that we trust and that we have trained
		
00:55:38 --> 00:55:44
			who can provide this help, provide the service.
		
00:55:46 --> 00:55:48
			So, there will be constant supervision.
		
00:55:49 --> 00:55:53
			They will get constant input in whoever it
		
00:55:53 --> 00:55:56
			is that they are helping us treat or
		
00:55:56 --> 00:55:56
			treating with us.
		
00:55:56 --> 00:55:58
			So, it will be a collaborative effort.
		
00:55:59 --> 00:56:02
			Now, obviously, there is only so much of
		
00:56:02 --> 00:56:04
			this that can be done at a voluntary
		
00:56:04 --> 00:56:04
			level.
		
00:56:05 --> 00:56:08
			So, we would request those people who have
		
00:56:08 --> 00:56:11
			the resources and who want to play their
		
00:56:11 --> 00:56:16
			part to sponsor everyone who's reaching out to
		
00:56:16 --> 00:56:16
			us.
		
00:56:17 --> 00:56:21
			Whoever approaches us that I can't afford, but
		
00:56:21 --> 00:56:24
			I need psychological support.
		
00:56:25 --> 00:56:27
			So, whoever from our team will take their
		
00:56:27 --> 00:56:30
			time, it's going to be a 45-minute,
		
00:56:30 --> 00:56:32
			1-hour, 90-minute session.
		
00:56:32 --> 00:56:36
			We would want to financially compensate them.
		
00:56:37 --> 00:56:39
			So, we want the people who have the
		
00:56:39 --> 00:56:43
			resources to step up, pledge something on a
		
00:56:43 --> 00:56:45
			monthly basis.
		
00:56:45 --> 00:56:50
			And from that, we support the team that
		
00:56:50 --> 00:56:55
			is supporting not just victims of abuse, but
		
00:56:55 --> 00:56:58
			also other people who require mental health support.
		
00:56:59 --> 00:57:02
			So, that is something that we're launching, that
		
00:57:02 --> 00:57:06
			we are hoping is going to be our
		
00:57:06 --> 00:57:13
			fulfillment of the social responsibility towards this social
		
00:57:13 --> 00:57:13
			evil.
		
00:57:14 --> 00:57:17
			And that was the...
		
00:57:17 --> 00:57:20
			And we're open to suggestions as well, as
		
00:57:20 --> 00:57:22
			much as we can possibly do.
		
00:57:22 --> 00:57:24
			Not only that, we're also going to open
		
00:57:24 --> 00:57:30
			up a medium of psychological support through emails.
		
00:57:30 --> 00:57:32
			A lot of people are not comfortable speaking,
		
00:57:33 --> 00:57:34
			even if it is anonymous.
		
00:57:34 --> 00:57:36
			Fair enough, we will develop a system that
		
00:57:36 --> 00:57:41
			we can support them So, we're putting this
		
00:57:41 --> 00:57:42
			out openly.
		
00:57:43 --> 00:57:45
			Whoever wants to reach out, feel free.
		
00:57:45 --> 00:57:53
			We will link two forms One will be
		
00:57:53 --> 00:57:53
			a pledge form.
		
00:57:54 --> 00:57:56
			Those who want to pledge a monthly amount
		
00:57:56 --> 00:58:02
			to help sponsor the people reaching out for
		
00:58:02 --> 00:58:02
			help.
		
00:58:02 --> 00:58:03
			And the second form will be for those
		
00:58:03 --> 00:58:07
			who want to reach out for help.
		
00:58:08 --> 00:58:10
			And we will create the circumstances for that,
		
00:58:10 --> 00:58:10
			God willing.
		
00:58:12 --> 00:58:16
			And Yusuf, you forgot to mention that the
		
00:58:16 --> 00:58:20
			sponsorships will have annual audits and everyone can
		
00:58:20 --> 00:58:21
			see that.
		
00:58:22 --> 00:58:22
			Absolutely.
		
00:58:23 --> 00:58:26
			As much transparency as we can possibly manage,
		
00:58:27 --> 00:58:28
			we will manage.
		
00:58:31 --> 00:58:37
			Whoever is sponsoring, whoever is donating, will be
		
00:58:37 --> 00:58:41
			able to see, trace how that money is
		
00:58:41 --> 00:58:42
			being utilized and where.
		
00:58:42 --> 00:58:45
			We will manage as much transparency as we
		
00:58:45 --> 00:58:48
			can and we will be open to audits
		
00:58:48 --> 00:58:48
			and everything.
		
00:58:49 --> 00:58:51
			All of that is being worked out as
		
00:58:51 --> 00:58:51
			we speak.
		
00:58:52 --> 00:58:54
			Okay, so those of you listening, pass it
		
00:58:54 --> 00:58:56
			on to those who are not listening.
		
00:58:56 --> 00:58:59
			This is something that we're starting and hopefully
		
00:58:59 --> 00:59:02
			we will be able to play our part
		
00:59:02 --> 00:59:04
			as best as possible, God willing.
		
00:59:06 --> 00:59:08
			Okay Azam, enough for today.
		
00:59:09 --> 00:59:09
			Okay.
		
00:59:10 --> 00:59:11
			Yes.
		
00:59:11 --> 00:59:11
			All right.
		
00:59:12 --> 00:59:13
			That's all for today.
		
00:59:13 --> 00:59:15
			Thank you so much everyone for watching, listening.
		
00:59:15 --> 00:59:16
			Thank you Azam.
		
00:59:17 --> 00:59:18
			Peace be upon you.