Self Image Psychology

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Yassir Fazaga

Channel: Yassir Fazaga

Topics: Personal Development

Episode Notes

do you have positive self image about yourself ? if so good and well,,, but, Imam Yassir Fazaga tell us some key points that help us building good self image qualities

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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You are one of those who are honored by Allah. Do not believe in yourself. Do not think of yourself.

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Why is someone else telling you how to feel about yourself?

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Change was never the result of the demand of the majority.

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The way you see yourself

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is going to determine how other people are going to see you.

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Jean smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah. All praise is due to Allah and may his peace and blessings be upon our beloved prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. I bear witness that no one is worthy of worship but Allah and Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was his final messenger and did the best of speeches a book of Allah and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam on the wards of matters is to innovate and religion and every such kind of innovation ism is guidance and this guidance leads to the Hellfire begin by greeting my brothers and sisters saying a Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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Allah Subhana Allah says in Surah, Merida, what is called a masala call me. Tom is Karuna Mata la alikum. And mentioned in the book, when Moses said to his people, all my people remember the boundaries of Allah upon you, that he has appointed some of you as prophets, and he has appointed some of you as kings.

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To me, and he has blessed you with that which no other people of your time were blessed with

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your COVID one of the NACA deserta Latika tabouleh, welcome, oh, my people go into the Holy Land that Allah has promised you. All you have to do is just go there, just walk to the Holy Land that Allah has promised you. The response was on we are

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in the home and

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they said, Oh, Moses, in it are men who are exceedingly powerful, and so long that they are there, we will not go there.

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Moses reminded them of the boundaries that Allah gave them.

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Later on, he reminded them of a commandment that was given to them by Allah. And they said in it are men who are exceedingly powerful, they are surrendering. So there is exceedingly powerful, and there is nothing that we can do about it.

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The same story was mentioned in the Bible in a manner that does not contradict what the Quran says. However, there is an extra piece of information that is mentioned. They said, Oh, Moses, in it are men who are exceedingly powerful to them. We are like grasshoppers, and they see us as we see ourselves.

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They said to them, we are like grasshoppers. That's what we think. to them. We are like grasshoppers, and they see us as we see ourselves, we've got a very important question to ask you. How do we see ourselves?

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How do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as a grasshopper? Or do you see yourself as it may be difficult, but I can do it.

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This is what they mean when they say self image, psychology. When you look into the mirror, what do you see?

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When you think about yourself, what comes to mind? Do you feel inferior, ashamed? Or there is that pride and dignity when you say that I have a contribution to make to mankind positive contribution to make to mankind.

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So what happens now is we've got to learn about this concept. It's an interesting concept, self image psychology, how do you see yourself see the way you see yourself is going to determine how other people are going to see you. And that is why many times the easier way of manipulating you and controlling you is selling you an image for yourself. They tell you that you must think of yourself so that they can from there on you are easier to manipulate and you are easier to control.

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For example nowadays give you a an example from the States and possibly you can relate to it because of television. Every time you watch TV, or TV that comes from the States

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You will realize this African Americans, these are the blacks in the states are called African Americans. When you see them, what do you see? They're gangsters. They're dancing. They're playing soccer, football, they're doing this. But the main projection

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of the African Americans in this state is that they are professional athletes. They've got Michael Jordan. They've got Kobe Bryant, they've got this player, they've got Serena Williams and her sister Venus Williams. And so what happens is that the image that is presented about them is that they're good athletes, it may be true, but listen to this.

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There are more African American Medical Doctors than there are African Americans, professional athletes.

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Now, by watching TV, there was no way that you can tell something like this was happening. Because the image now that is presented about them is that they're good for sports only. I remember one time, I was giving a lecture. And it happened that the people were present because of the geography and the locality of the area. The people that were attending happened to be African Americans. And the minute I set this piece of information, one of them started weeping.

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He started crying. Why are you doing this, he said, I felt that I was deceived. I was cheated. Because what I was told of myself as an African American is that the best that I can do, the best that I could have done is the fact that I be a professional athlete, not knowing that it was much easier to become a medical doctor than it is to become a professional athlete, it is much easier to become a medical doctor and not be singing and being shown on MTV, yet you are deprived of this image, because it makes you feel superior.

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Or it gives you some sort of hope. And what happens is that it must be crushed. I am not going to tell you that this thing is possible for you. I like to keep you where you are now. Do not let yourself Do not think of yourself. Do not have that inferiority in you, when you see some people up here. But then when you think of yourself, you see yourself down here. And usually they say

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that people who have and the Quran refers to that to such kind of people, as people who is

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people who've got dignity. You know, in the Quran, Allah Subhana, Allah says, In the maloca is a hollow Korean,

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that when the Kings arrive into a village or a locality, what do they do? They spread corruption. But in order to do so, there is another condition that has to go with it and that is what you do.

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But the people in that locality who got

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who got dignity and pride, they must be debased because these are the people that are going to be problematic for us. And that is why when Allah speaks of Pharaoh crown, throne was mentioned 73 times in the Quran, in 29 different chapters, what does he do? The first thing that he does is that he makes the people who is whose dignity and honor, he puts them down, their souls must be crushed. Because the minute that you feel that I can say no, then you are dangerous. You are dangerous, and that is why your soul must be crushed. I quoted a man by the name of Frederick Douglass said that Frederick Douglass was a slave in the United States. And what happens is that when the slaves were

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brought, the first thing that the master would do, is that he would check them out, as we say, or test them. Who amongst them is proud, who amongst them looks problematic. Who amongst them seems to be rebellious.

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And then they have a treatment for them. Now Frederick Douglass lived in the state of Maryland,

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and Maryland had a law. See a slave was considered property. You killed them, you beat them they were your property chattels, which means movable property. So Frederick Douglass comes in and he sees this institution of slavery and he thinks to himself, I am not the slave. I don't belong here. He is not my master. I am not supposed to be subjugated by him. I am not supposed to be serving him. I refuse this.

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And that was expected from some slaves, but they had a treatment for it. That treatment was a white man by the name of Ed coffee. If you are a rebellious slave, they send you to Eddie, who used his whip

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very liberally, if you know what I mean.

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He goes there. And for six months, daily, Frederick Douglass is beaten.

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Every day he is beaten, they would get him and they would just whip him. And the idea and the aim is to crush his soul to crush his self esteem and his self pride, because that is very problematic.

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And then one day,

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in the words of Frederick Douglass, he said, I regained my self respect.

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I did the unthinkable, what did he do? He fought back. The man is whipping him every time as a slave you when they whip you, you just surrender, you don't do anything. Because the state of Maryland had the law that said, any slave that attack is honor the master that is his punishment was that he would be hanged, killed innocent.

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So now Frederick Douglass is here and he is being whipped for six months on daily basis. What does he do? He fights back and the story goes on to say that he wrestled at coffee, and he beat him severely.

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Then he said that day, I regained myself, right.

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That day, I regained my self respect, I got my back. And he said it felt excellent. Even though the consequences could have been that I might die. But like they say, if you cannot live proudly, it is time to die proud.

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But you cannot live in the state of humiliation. So he said I regained my respect back. Similarly, also, change was never done. Because the majority wanted, the majority is always a follower. I told the story of the chef that was invited to give a speech. And when he got to the place where he's supposed to be given the speech, not so many people showed up in the conference. So the organizers of the conference, were not very happy with the turnout. Look, we've got this great place, and very few people showed up. And we invited this man from such a long distance. And very few people are showing up, they were disappointed. The chef looked at them and said, Do not be disappointed with

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your numbers, we are not looking for numbers amongst our faithful, we are looking for faith amongst our numbers.

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Change, be it secular be religious was never the result of the demand of the majority. Rather, it was a committed minority with

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that led my brothers and sisters.

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If you do not think highly of yourself, then there is there is really no contribution to make.

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That you have nothing to offer. To begin with. You do not see yourself as a holder of rights. You do not see yourself as someone that has something to give. And that is why islamically such a thing is not acceptable. Going back to the minorities, you know how African Americans in the state got their civil liberties back one day, a woman by the name of Rosa Park, she was sitting in the bus sitting in the bus, if you were black, you belong to the back at the back of the bus. That's where you sit. That is where you sit, because you were you know, at that point, they were debating whether blacks were humans, three fifth humans, some people said sub humans, some said equal humans, but inferior,

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whatever it was, but the law, it was the state's law that if you were black, African Americans, you belong at the end of the process where you belong. So one day, an old woman blows apart. She got on the bus and she said you know what? Why am I sitting at the end of the bus? I pay as much as these people pay.

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Why am I sitting at the end of the bus? And what does she do? She goes and she sits in the very front seat in the bus.

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The driver sees this excuse me, lady.

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Back, you get back. Why do I get back? very obvious. You're black. You get back that's where you belong. She said I'm going nowhere.

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Like they say in this case, I ain't going nowhere.

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What do you mean you're not going to your black, that's where you belong. She had so much self respect. She refused to get out of that bus. African Americans boycotted the bus system and they have to change the law.

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Because someone one person that happened to be an old woman had so much self respect and she said I am not going anywhere. I belong here and this is where I am sitting. See it is very important what we think of ourselves. Why is that? And listen to this one very carefully. We do not control what kind of file

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come into our mind. But here's the thing, we may not be able to choose what kind of thoughts come into our mind. But we definitely make the choice of what kind of thoughts we want to dwell in. I may not be able to control it when it comes to me, but I have full control, whether I continue with it or not. And here is the thing. They say, watch your thoughts. They become words, Watch your words, they become action, watch your action, it becomes habit. Watch your habits, it become your character, watch your character that becomes your destiny.

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So now Islam tells you to begin with, watch out for your thoughts.

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As little as no sense we give it or no time we we devote to it, what it is going, it is so powerful, it is so strong that it is going to determine your destiny. That is how strong your thoughts are.

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You know, whenever the oppressor wants to oppress, they make sure that the first thing that they do is that they dehumanize the person, strip them away for this human dignity and integrity. And from there on, we go into exploiting and we go into killing, and we go into the different things. And that is why Frederick Douglass used to say, Hannah law, this man, Frederick Douglass, if you ever get a chance to read his books and his writings, please do so. Frederick Douglass, remember this is a slave, he is a slave.

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And he had this so much passion, longing for freedom. What does he say? He said, The soul within me, no one can degrade.

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You can tell me that I am a slave. But it is not what you think of me that is important. What is important is what do I think of myself? For the soul within me, no one can degrade. And that is why they say no one can make you feel inferior, without your consent.

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Can I force you to feel inferior?

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Can I really do that I cannot, I can talk I can tell. But the minute you feel inferior, it was by choice. Because people cannot do that people have not built do not have that much power over us. And that is why my brothers and sisters, we cannot be ashamed of ourselves, we've got a contribution to make to humanity. And in order to make that contribution, you must see yourself as such. You know, in today's world, it is very interesting how people are told to feel about themselves a lot in the West, it has to do with your physical appearance. If you look good, you are right, you feel good.

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And they emphasize good looks.

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And they say feel look better feel better. And images are sold. where women in the US one of every four girls who are in the fourth grade have some sort of eating disorder with anorexia, or bulimia, or whatever it is, because TV told them they're too fat.

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you're overweight, you know, in order to be acceptable by us, you must be 120 pounds. Preferably they have a flick of 3624 36. If you do not fit that figure, then you are not beautiful. And people work so hard. Women work so hard, so unbelievably hard to fit the image that was given to them. And I asked to begin with who put that image as the standards. Who said 120 pounds, I'm not good. In Africa, it's 220 pounds that are good.

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But I really have a problem with that. Who is setting the standards? And why are you falling into these standards? Why is someone else telling you how to feel about yourself? That is so much power to give to other people. But we will do this. I remember when I was in high school, I had a classmate she did not come to school for 10 days or two weeks. And when she came back, the teacher said, Susie, where were you and Susie was in the hospital because she cut her wrists because she thought that she was too fat and ugly and she was not accepted by society.

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This is how powerful self image is. How do you see yourself?

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Really How do you see yourself? Now we see that it is your body.

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You know LASIK surgery is in the rise nowadays.

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Especially in the West, you've got people that come from Asia. And they've got, you know, smaller eyes than the average, with a much smaller eyes, let's say.

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And they come in, and one of the things that they want to do is that they want to widen their eyes.

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Because that is what is expected generally to be beautiful in the States. Other people comes, that's in the States, women, you know, they say that, you know, in order to be sexy in order to be attractive, you know, you've got to alter your body a little bit so that society appreciates you. So now what do they have? And it's a booming business, breast enlargement.

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I remember one time during a cartoon, do we have a lot more commercials in the States than you do? During a Cartoon Cartoon is a show for kids. In it, there was a commercial No. And cartoons are usually watched by kids, little children that are watching it. In it, there was a commercial about breast enlargement.

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Because now what society respects or what society adores, is this type of home.

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One time the gap company, they had a skirt or jeans skirt, and it was designed for 10 year old girls. And the jeans were unbelievably short, they were so short, that some of the parents they approached the gap company and they said, these jeans are very short. Why is that? And the marketing department of the gap company said, we want to teach younger girls how to dress sexy.

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So the next time when I see this girl, the 10 year old girl, they do not want me to see an innocent 10 year old girl, they want me to see a sexy 10 year old girl.

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But that is the image again, that is sold to people. That's what you do.

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I have a lot of interest in studying sociology, and you know how things are changing. So one day, I am watching Oprah Winfrey, you probably know about her she has a talk show in the States. On the talk show was about is your dress appropriate for your age?

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Then other women said is your dress appropriate your age? So what they did is that they stood in front of the mall, like your dispenser here, more or less, you know, where they have the shops for clothing and what have you. And a woman would pass by and someone would have the mic and they would say, Excuse us, or excuse me How old are you? And the woman would say how old and then they would see whether she was dressed properly for her age or not. But here's the conclusion. And here is the advice that was given to the women they said, if you are under 35, show your thighs, meaning that miniskirts that's good. If you are between 35 and 45, show a little bit of cleavage. If you are over

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55, then we recommend that you show your arms, if you are over 60, then show a lot of neck. And then it concluded by saying women, if you dress too conservatively, you become invisible, and who wants to be invisible. But now here's what here's what they saying. They saying that if you fit the standards and the criteria that we put for you, then you are doing good. Now people whose massive inferiority complex, what they do is that they want to follow whatever is being dashed to us from out there.

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It's an ever changing culture. But somehow the belief is that if you become a little bit closer to them, then at that point you are making progress, you know, in the 1950s Western women when they saw Indian women wearing the sari. And I think what that that's how I say it I think wearing the sari, what happens is that you know, the dress is that women would show their belly button. Now this woman in the West in the 1950s or 60s, they said Oh, that is so seven.

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You know them crazy women, how are they going around, you know, showing the belly button. Today, that is the fashion in the West. You go around and you show your belly button. But the question is who is putting these standards out there my brothers and sisters in Islam, your body should not be making a statement about yourself. Your body is not to be used as a vehicle to make statements about you. You make statements about you and not the way you look. I'm in contentment and hamdulillah with the way Allah created me and that's how I like it. If Allah said I looked this way, Masha Allah, then I'm happy with the way that Allah made me. That's where it ends for a Muslim. However, there is

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also things that tell us you know, you should feel good about yourself. If you have money position, open

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session. And the way they do commercial is let Lexus speak for you. I don't want a piece of metal speaking for me, I want to speak for me

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or use it and we do the talking. No, you don't do the talking, I want to do my talking, because there is only one me and only that we can represent me, not you. So again, in Islam, we are supposed to have that good, you know, feel about who we are. To begin with, you say well, where do I get this view from? Listen to this, Allah subhanaw taala says, Well apart from not any Adam, and we have indeed honored all children of Adam, the sons of ad Muslims and Muslims, men, women, whoever it may be that all are honored in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala. So to begin with, you are one of those who are honored by Allah. That's number one. And someone will say, that is really nice, but you

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know, so that means that all humans are like this, but it goes on. And this goes on to tell us that another statement is that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says that you know, the son of Adam would seek getting closer to Allah subhanho wa Taala until he has that very personal relationship with Allah. And it goes on to say that if Allah loves any of his servants, he calls upon the dwellers of heaven, or dwellers of heaven. I love this servant of mine, all dwellers of heaven, love the servant of mine. It is so deep that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, If you mentioned Allah God Almighty, in an assembly, Allah will make a mention of you in a better

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assembly. Can you imagine this honor said if you make a mention of Allah, in an assembly, Allah will make a mention of you in a better assembly.

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Then is said and if you make a mention of God in yourself, Allah will make a mention of you in himself.

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These are how deep that is. And that is why we say if the way you feel about yourself, comes from some other place other than your relationship with your Creator, you are in deep trouble.

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If the way you feel about yourself, comes from other than your relationship with your Creator, you are in deep trouble. One time it was said that a man by the name of Hakeem within his I'm not a Muslim, really admired the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came to him and he presented him with a gown.

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On they said that that gown belonged to z as in the mighty king of Yemen, said the Prophet took my gift and put it on. He said, I have never seen someone more handsome, someone more beautiful than Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in that gown. Then he said the next day the next morning, as I was walking in the market of Medina, I saw Osama bin is a another man, one of the companions of the process alum. He said I saw him wearing the same gown. That last night I gave to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam that one day belonged to z as in the mighty king of Yemen. So hakima Hassan looked at Osama and when the scholars of Sierra history described Osama they say what kind of

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Osama to the Neiman Hussein was an ugly man, they say beautiful companion, but they say that physically, he was an ugly man. And they described this by saying you have very dark skin. He had very deep eyes, thick lips, and he had very flat nose. Now this is not to say this is what makes someone beautiful or not beautiful, but this is how he was described. So he looked at him and he and his father happened to be a former slave. So hakima hasn't looked at him and he said, Antioch Osama you Osama, you are wearing the gown that one day belong to z as in the mighty king of Yemen. See what is implied in that statement is Look, your blood Your father was a slave zS and was a mighty

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king. And today you are wearing his gown. What is this? I'ma say, you know, really, so they just happen to be there and the Prophet gave it to me. He looked at him and he was surprised. He said, We're lucky and

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by Allah I am better than he isn't. will lie in Abu Dhabi and by Allah My father is better than his father will lie by Allah My mother is better than his mother for I and my family confess law in the in the law, but that thing of yours never said La ilaha illa Allah

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and the idea is with the great pride from

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what is your source of pride, you feel good about yourself, you may be full of yourself.

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But the question is, where do I get that fight? And in Islam, we say it comes from two things. Our relationship with Almighty Allah

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Number two, our contribution to humanity. If you have a good relationship with Allah, it must be translated that you must be positively be contributing to humanity. So then we said, you know, people talk about pride, what is pride. Pride is when you see yourself as a holder of rice, and has some contribution to make to humanity. So if you're proud of yourself, if you feel good about yourself, then we want to see some contribution to humanity. Because if you do not feel good about yourself, my brothers and sisters, you can be crushed. Let me give you an example.

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Domestic Violence, women who are beaten by their husbands, Muslims, and non Muslims, and we see a lot of it. I told the story, sometimes we do this in the name of God. In the US,

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a woman was presented in court, she had broken ribs, she had a broken nose. And when the husband was asked, Why did you do this, he said, God gave me permission in the Quran.

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But anyways, let me tell you what happens to these women. Now these women, they go to emergency rooms with broken ribs, they countered with broken noses. Sometimes they're kicked in their stomach to the point where their kidneys ruptured. You know what's interesting, though, an average woman who is in a abusive, physically abusive relationship, such as in marriage, it takes her an average of 12 to 18 years to say, this is enough. It takes a woman who is physically abused an average of 12 to 18 years to walk out of that relationship. And you would say, Why is it taking her so long? As he has done it once, twice or three times, you know, that's an indication that you should be walking out.

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But what happens is that in the process, it's not only the physical abuse, but along with it, the soul is also crushed. So at that point, and it is so interesting, because when these women come into counseling, so what happened today, oh, it's all my fault, I should have cooked dinner in time, or I should have given him a hot meal, or I should have cleaned the house before he comes. What happens now, the oppressed is now seeing himself as the one who is at fault and not the oppressor.

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Because their belief about themselves was so crushed to that point.

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And again, we say my brothers and sisters, as Muslims, self pity does not exist.

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Helen Keller,

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an American author, she was deaf. She was mute could not speak. And she was blind. What does she say? She says the following self pity is our worst enemy. And if we ever yield to it, we will never be able to accomplish anything wise in the world.

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feeling sorry for yourself, feeling that you're not worth it. That is why the companions of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam taught us that no, there is got to be something about you that speaks for you.

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You know, an assignment is it is haram to be begging, if there is no need for you to be begging, you just do not become a beggar. Well, one of the attributes of God is that he is earning the self sufficient. So now I derive one of my attributes, one of my character is that I am self sufficient. It may not be a lot that I have. But if if it suffices me, then that makes me feel good about myself, I don't go around begging,

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was also said that the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam once took an allegiance with people. And he said, Do not ask for anything. Sir, if you can help it, do not ask, don't be mounting their camels or their horses, their whip would fall down. There are other people around them, they can say, Would you please hand me that whip? They would not do they would come down because they took an allegiance with the Prophet that they would not ask people for anything. And again, part of crushing your soul is that when people have a say over your sustenance, gave the example about interest, and how that can crush souls, and it can crush communities. The government in ogando

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Central Africa spends the equivalent of $2 per citizen on health care. The same government spends $11 on debt and interest per citizen. How do you expect that government to come up? How do you expect that country to recover? But the idea is we are going to do whatever it is to take to bend your self pride, your self esteem and your dignity. So my brothers and sisters feel good about yourself. But the feeling good about yourself is not a statement that you see these actions and that is why again, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would teach us about

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You know, character, how do you build a character that makes you feel good about yourself. So you can say it, but it may not be real. It may be very, very empty. And we live in a time where there is so much emphasis on appearance but not on essence, on outside, but not really in the inside. Give you an example. Today in the world, we keep asking for more in reality, we are getting far less, but we are told that it is more and more, we have more food, but less nutrition.

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We have more medications, but less wellness. We have a lot more conveniences, but we have less time.

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We have a lot of possessions, but we have less value. We may be getting a lot of income, but we are ending up with less. Yet we are told that it is really more and in reality, we are really getting less.

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We all learn to buy a house, but very few of us are building a home. One time my father said to me, last summer, I gave my my son who was 18, I gave him $15,000 to go into the stock market, buy and sell stocks so that he learns how to make a living. And I said that is very good. At a young age, you are teaching your son how to make a living. I wonder if your son knows how to make a life.

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Because many times, although that's what we are occupied and consumed with, but in reality, we are missing on a lot more my brothers and sisters.

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Another thing about self esteem is this. They say persons of self esteem or have high self esteem

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are not driven to make themselves superior to others. They do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a competitive standard. Their joy is being who they are not being better than someone else. I don't feel good about myself because of someone else because there is someone else that is better than me. Again, the process alone will teach us about building character who tell you things that will make you and should make you feel good about yourself if they are practiced. One time the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was approached by a Buddha, may Allah be pleased with him.

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You know one thing about Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is that he was very approachable. Whoever had a question, easily accessible, anyone can ask him a question. They said that sometimes better ones would come. And they would want to ask him a question. And they couldn't tell who he is, because he was one of the people. And that's what we want our leaders to be one of us and not be up there. And Mohammed Salim gave the best example of this, so that he would be walking, a young girl would come in with grab his hand and say, I need to talk to you. And she would not let go of his hand until she speaks her heart and whatever it is that she wants.

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So you know, when we define ethics in Islam, and and that is really the meaning being God conscious is being ethical. However, the way we define ethics is by saying, ethics is what you do, when no one else is looking, because you can be ethical, when people are around you. So now, what happens is that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam says, do what is right, regardless whether people are looking at you or they are not looking at you. So what happens when you do that, right? Although you were in privacy, you feel good about yourself. The prophet SAW Selim said that there will be a group of people in the Day of Judgment they come, and they will have so much you know, good deeds on their

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back mountains of good deeds, and then in a sudden, it will all be wiped out like ashes with wind. And they would ask What happened? Why is this happening? They said, whenever we were in public, we were decent. But the minute we were by ourselves, we did what we wanted. See, there are two types of freedom. They say freedom is doing what you want. In Islam freedom is doing what you ought to be doing. They say freedom is about expressing yourself. In Islam, we say freedom is about governing yourself.

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And that is the whole concept of governing yourself. Then a Buddha says a prophet of Allah. Now remember, the idea is now building characters so that the individual ends up feeling good about him, the prophet of Allah, give me more. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,

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Quran said, make sure that you are in remembrance with the book of Allah in good contact with the book of Allah. And when we speak of Quran as being a book of Baraka is not the meal at Ernests the meal, you know, just the mere recitation of the Quran that brings the Baraka, it is following what the Quran says. That brings the box

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, welcome mencari, annual, annual annual, and how many people will be reciting the Quran and at the same time the Quran is cursing them, because they're reciting one thing, but they're doing something else. So there's got to be consistent consistency of what you're doing prophet of Allah give me more. And the past would say, lead to clear back for me to the Buddha, which said, Do not laugh excessively, it kills your heart, and it takes the dignity away from your face. Now remember, Islam is not against you having fun, he said, but have a serious life. feel the pain of other people have your times of joy, but make sure that you feel the pain of

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humanity. How is it that we can be feeling good and having fun all the time, and our next door neighbor is suffering?

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How is that as a nation, we can be spending money here and then spending more money on missiles that we do on battery, more money on bombs than we do on books, yet other people are suffering and humanity is suffering. Such a thing is not islamically acceptable? There are so funny, people have gotten so good with it, that nowadays, they're speaking of special kind of weapons. And they said these weapons are so good. They kill humans, but they save the buildings.

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This is how good these weapons are. They save the buildings, but they kill humans have an element of seriousness in your life. Feel what other people are feeling the prophets I seldom said that, you know, Allah would be talking to one of his servants. And he would say, Oh, my servant, I was sick, but you did not visit me? And that servant would say, how do you get sick? And you are the Lord of the woods? How does that happen? And Allah would say, Did you not know so and so person was sick? And you did not visit them? Had you visited them? I would have been there.

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But then you say I was hungry, but you did not feed me? How do I feed you and you are the Lord of the woods? And he would say, Did you not know that so and so person was hungry, and you did not feed them? Have you fed them, you'd have indeed found me there. And again, the beauty of Islam, my brothers and sisters is implementing it. If what we believe in does not impact how we behave, then what we believe in is not important. It is not important if we do not act upon it. Then he says prophet of Allah give me more. you eliminate oppression you are in jihad. Martin Luther King said it so beautifully. He said, If you did not find a cause, that is worthy of dying for, then your life is

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not worth living. If you did not find a cause worth dying for, then your life is not worth living.

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He would say, and then he's a prophet of Allah, give me more I want to learn more about you know these things. And remember, and just imagine the seriousness, the pain that if he for people, the fact that you are having this good relationship with the revelation of God, the fact that you've got conscious and see how does that impact yourself? How does that make you feel about yourself, be good to people, or be good to your relatives, even though they may not be good to you. And it's so sad that nowadays you hear, I have not spoken to my father for seven years. And that brother of mine, if I see him, I am going to kill him and strangle him on my ad Don't even mention her name that are

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rubella from that. And people go on and on and on. And Islam. Again, you cannot live for me, myself and I, other peoples have rights, and you ought to fulfill the rights, you have obligations, but you also have to fulfill your rights. A man came to the Prophet peace upon him or like some of us would say, you know, I'm really good to my relatives, but they are really not good to me. So I decided that I'm going to bring it to an end, a man comes to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And he says, a prophet of Allah, I have relatives, I am very good to them, but they are not good to me. Every time I do goodness to them, they turn back and they do something bad. Every time I try to keep

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in touch with them. They cut me off. Then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, a Muslim is not he who is engaged in a tip for a test, because they did I am going to do rather a Muslim is He who does what is right, regardless of how other people react to it. We're talking about an argument that took place between two men, and one of them was very rude, and the other one was very gentle. And in the process, that person became more rude and this person was becoming very gentle. So after the fight was over, or the argument was over, someone came and he said, you know, that person was very rude to you, but you treated him like a gentleman. And the man said, I treat him like a

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gentleman because I am one. So being a gentleman is not conditional. If you're gentlemen, you're a gentleman all the time. You do not allow other people to pull you down to where they are, but rather you should be picking up people to where you are. You know, with all due respect to our good friend, the bishop you

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Whenever Christians speak of Christianity, the word love always comes up. And there is this love element that is always equated with Christianity widely. So, Jesus peace be upon him taught, love

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hematol Allahu alayhi wa sallam also of that line taught love. For some reason, I don't know what it is for us Muslims, there seems to be, you know, as we act and behave as if love is not really part of the religion. Did you know that the word love was mentioned over 92 times in the Quran?

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One of the names of Allah is

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the one who is loving. In fact, one of the conditions if you want to go to Paradise is that you must be a loving person. The process of them said, One Love is said by Allah will la elected Julio ginetta. Hatta took me by Allah you will not be admitted to paradise, unless you believe will la de la to me no had to have one by Allah you are not believers, until unless you love one another. A man walks by him, and the process of him stops when he says to him wanted hola Jenna, would you like to be admitted to paradise? And the man says yes, with a big smile on his face. And then the pastor gives him the golden rule is in Africa. Then love for your brother, that which you love for

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yourself, what do you have for yourself? And there is a challenge here my brothers and sisters in the Quran, we are told Linton aloe vera head that

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you will not be called righteousness or you will not attain righteousness. Unless you spend of that which you love most. What do you love most? And will your heart give it out? Do

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now remember in the process of doing so my brothers and sisters, they said that, you know, this is how you feel good about yourself. They had a story that one day and happened in 1960s said that this man was driving such a big car. And he had parked on the street. And when he did something inside to the store, and when he came out there was this young boy. And he was walking around the car. And he was admiring the car. He was touching it feeling the the the tires on it and just feeling the rubber seeing himself in the mirror. And the man was very proud because it was a brand new car. So he came and he said, You like it? Boy, do you like my car? And he said, Oh sir, it is a beautiful concert.

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So the man looked at him and said, my brother gave it to me as a gift.

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And the young boy said, I wish What do you think? Is it? I wish What? Come on someone you have an answer?

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I wish I had a brother like that. Right? Right. The boy says, Oh man, I wish I can be like your brother.

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So now is the man is very impressed. And he just loves he did not expect such an answer. He expected that the boy will say I wish I had a brother like yours. So he tells him well, son, would you like a ride in my car?

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And the young boy looks at him and he says i would love that we can you please take me to where we live. So the man is thinking to himself, of course, that's where he wants me to take him. He is going to show off, you know to the children of the village that I was driven in such a nice car. So they go there and they stop.

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And when they stop

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is absurd. Can you please wait for few minutes, says okay, fine. He's probably going to get his his friends to come and see, you know what kind of a car he was in. So he went there. And he said I saw him from a distance coming back. But he was not working very straight. He seemed like it he had something that he was carrying on his back. And when they got closer, he placed his brother on the ground. His brother was crippled. And he looked at him and he said, Brother, one day I am going to buy you a car like this one.

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But see, that is the beauty and that is why our beloved Prophet Jesus peace be upon him used to say, Blessed are those who give.

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There is more blessings in giving than there is in taking mercy when you do this. When you really go out there and make a difference. Sometimes it just can be handled and you never know what it is a word that can change in our lives of people. Something that someone said to you and it would be so unbelievable. I was once told they had a boss in one of the companies in the US. He once gathered his employees actually before that a young

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Man came to him. And he said, Sir, we are doing this research at school, I would like to give you three cards, but you have got to pay me $10 for it, I'll give you three cards, and the cards, you know, just the word I love you. And you have to give it to, you have to take one for yourself, and then sell the other two cards for $10. And then you go like this. So he said, I paid the $10. And I took the three cards. I called one of my employees, and I explained this good project to him. And I sold him the two cards for $10. And he went on, and he sold the other two cards to someone else. So he said, I held the card in my hand. And I said, whom do I give this card? To? Whom do I give it to?

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For? He said, I went home, and I called my son. So what happened is that he said, he went home, and he called his son. And he said, You know what, son, really have not spent a lot of time with you. But I've always wanted to tell you this. And today I think I have a good opportunity to tell you this. And he handed him the content said, I love you. So the son looked back at his dad and he said, You know what, Dad, I want you to come with me. And he took him upstairs to his room. And he showed him a pistol. I What do you call a pistol like a gun. And he said that I hated you so much that tonight I have made up my mind that I was going to kill myself. But it was this action that made the

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difference. Many times you know that is never there. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would say you know if you love a brother of yours, then make sure that you share that with them. You know, it is so sad that nowadays we have to teach people how to love.

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Love is so easy, but we have to teach it to people. And hate is so easy. Everyone is hating. We have to justify our love. But there is nothing wrong with our hate. And islamically my brothers and sisters that is not acceptable. It is sufficient to call you a sinner that you get mad at people for that which you yourself you are guilty of.

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And many times that happens. We are guilty of it. Yet we think that we can criticize other people for it yet we ourselves we are guilty of it. We don't all the time, or I cannot believe the way he talks to his to his wife or I cannot believe the way she talks to her husband. But then we never really see how do we do that with one another. Yet we get mad at people for doing it. And we ourselves we are we are in that boat. That inconsistency, the moral double standards where it is okay for me to do but not okay for other people to do. Sometimes we as a Muslim community collectively, we are guilty of this. Or we are so against France for banning the hijab, the

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headscarf for women, but we don't say anything when Tunisia and turkey or they ban the hijab

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or we are so mad at the way RL Sharon that science treats the Palestinians but we say nothing as the way other dictators threaten Muslim fellow humans or Phyllis citizens. We are so mad when this happens yet there is nothing wrong when we are some of us do it. That inconsistency my brothers and sisters is not islamically acceptable.

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It is wrong to say that it is wrong. The culture of silence has got to be broken, because the worst type of betrayal is silence. He who sees wrong and does not say anything about it is a new devil.

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You see do something about it. You claim to have as a as a person with dignity. You are the person that can say no and point out the wrong but you don't do that. And again, the teachings of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam it's deliberate. You make a person of dignity and integrity so that you feel good about yourself, the minute you start feeling good about yourself, you have something to share for humanity very quickly. The way we talk to our spouses the way we talk to our children must be one of encouragement. The way you talk to children, we're always putting them down almost derogatory terms, the way you talk to your spouse, always derogatory towards this and not knowing

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that words can do magic to people. So one day, there was this young boy, you know, playing by himself, no one was throwing the ball thing. He was just he is what he would do. He had the ball on his left hand and the bat on his right hand. He throws the ball up and tries and swings trying to hit the ball. And there was an old man looking at him. So the boy tries, you know, throws up the ball and tries to hit the ball and he misses. So the old man looks at him and says you're a good player, my son and the son car right? I just missed it. So he gets the ball again. And he swings and he misses. You're a very good player. My son says the old

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Man, now this young man is just very agitated, because you know, he's making fun of him.

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So again, he tries three times, and he swings, and he misses the ball again. And the old man says, an excellent player, you are my son.

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And the boy says to himself, I'm going to try one more time. And if I miss, I am going to smash his head with this bat.

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So he takes the ball.

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And he tries, and he misses again.

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And the old man's a superb player, my son.

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So the young boy comes in said, What are you talking about? I just missed the ball four times, and you're telling me that I'm a good batter hitting, he said, Son, I was not talking about your batting skills, I was talking about your pitching skills.

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But that is really the idea. My brothers and sisters, and that is many times we put down people, even though what people need most is encouragement. We just have this ability of crushing the souls and the hearts of our brothers and sisters. be selective in what you say. And Allah Subhana Allah says, without further ado coming ready for me. It Allah has took a covenant with the children of Israel, that they worship none but Allah, that they do go to their parents that they take care of the orphans that they do this. And then he said, One Taku denuncia Krishna, that you say the best of words to people? Can you imagine this? in the same line of worship Allah be good, your parents, one

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of the covenants, one of the conditions of that covenant is that whenever you speak to people, make sure that you say the best of words, very selective in what you say to people, because words have that ability to crush our souls if we are not very careful. What happens to our sister if she gets divorced?

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How does the community a divorced system? It is so sad that in our cultures, a divorced woman is an unwanted woman.

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She's almost an outcast.

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And if she's a little older than her chances of getting remarried are almost close to zero. And if she has children, you can forget about it.

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But now they are putting they are being put down. Where again souls on hearts or crushed.

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Just another human being. Maybe the previous relationship did not work out and people are not even interested why the guy was drunk. He was an alcoholic. He was abusing her he was this. People are not interested. And they use some of the worst words to describe them. She's a second hand I don't want her.

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She's being used. I don't want that. Can you can't be saying this. Do you know what kind of impact or what kind of