Before You Say I Do – EP01 – PT 2

be seen as man and wife, fulfilling Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. If you're just joining us, we are talking about one of the most beautiful subjects in the world. And that is the subject of love. And before the break, what we said is that this is a subject that everybody speaks about. Everybody dreams off, and we told the story about the young Filipino computer science student. And we left at the Hadith where the prophet SAW Selim says, and we know it from your left, a believer is loving, and is lovable. And there is no goodness in he who is neither loving nor lovable. You know, what happens if people don't love you? What shall you say? Am I lovable? Because sometimes we tend

to blame people for it. Oh, people are so bad nowadays. They don't even love me. Well, maybe the problem is not necessarily with the people. Maybe the problem is really with us. Because the processes have said, You are loving, but you are also lovable. So what happens is that Allah subhanaw taala, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam have spoken about this subject extensively, and even in the Hadees, you know, we call the golden rule, love for your brother that you love for yourself. Now you know how to combat that you have barely FEMA, you have Boleyn FC. And we said that what is beautiful about this Hadees here is the word brother is usually translated in our Muslim

community as a whole. Which is your Muslim brother, yet mmm nawawi. He explains this hedison he said, laser till what will what will Imani lacking what will insomnia, he said the Brotherhood that is meant in the Hadees is not Brotherhood in faith, but rather it is Brotherhood in humanity. So this idea of me loving for others that which I love for myself, the Hadees also assumes What? That it's okay to love yourself. It's okay to love because he did not say don't love anything for yourself. He said, love for others, that which you love for yourself, as well. It is healthy for people to love themselves. The point is, do not become so full of yourself, do not become arrogant,

do not involve in self pride, or in any of these things. The native Indians in the US they have a beautiful prayers, when they meet one another, they pray for each other. What do they say? They say May you live as long as you want. And may you love as long as you live, that is beautiful. May you live as long as you want fine. But then they also add and may you love as long as you live. So the point is what the point is, many times our emotions, say a lot about us. Our emotions reveal many times who we are. So in the previous Hadees that we have told, we are saying that what you love determines how you live.

That is a very important and it's a very, very crazy concept. What you love determines how you live. So the point is, be careful about what it is that you love in the Hadees so van was once absent from the presence of the professor. He did not show up for the morning prayer for a while. And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam inquired what happened to Oban. So they said prophet of Allah sobhan is not feeling well, he is sick. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Let us go and visit him. And they went to visit so bad for their loved one. And they said, so what has happened? And listen to the answer of sobhan. So Ben said, Oh, Prophet of Allah, I love you so much.

I'll be sitting in the same gathering with you, and I already missed you. Now, when do we usually Miss people?

When we don't see them for a year, right? We miss them, when there's been such a long gap between us and the last time that we saw them. But so when you're saying proper, Allah, I'll be missing you. Even though I am sitting in the same gathering with you, you know, the feeling that you're not getting enough of the person, a the person is dead, but you just feel that I am not getting enough of them. So so by the same prophet of Allah, I miss you, even though I am the same gathering with you. And then he said, Prophet of Allah one day I was thinking to myself,

if I, by the grace of Allah make it to paradise, you will be in the company of the prophets and the messengers, and that's such a high position, and I will just be with the common people in paradise somewhere down there, and I won't be able to see you as much. And if I don't even make it to paradise, and I am placed in the Hellfire, then I will never see you at all. He said this thought the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Yes Oh, burn your shoulder. Oh,

And he said also than a person who will be resurrected in the company of those whom he loved in this life. So the question is, where are you and to whom are you directing your love? The companion said, No Heidi's. We were more pleased with them this Hattie's said because we can question anything except our love to Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that we were so sure that we love the Messenger of Allah that this statement was so unbelievably very pleasing to us when we heard it. And then it was also said that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was once walking, when this Bedouin heel out Yama, Hammadi Mohammed, Mohammed, Mohammed, and you know, people usually look into

this and say, Why are you being so rude? Talking to the Messenger of Allah Azza wa sallam like this, but then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, as we know was the most beautiful of people. So what does he say? In the same tone, he responds back to him how omo I am right here. So the man yells back and he says, Yeah, Mohammed. He said that Oh, Mohammed, that our person loves people. And he wants to be in their company. What does he do? And Marie Kondo alumni, and have been him? A person wants to be in their company and he loves them, but his deeds do not qualify him? He's saying, in other words, how do I be in your company? So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave

the same answer again, you're Charlotte, North Omaha and I have a person who will be resurrected in the company of those whom he loves.

One of the most beautiful in the Quran has actually to do with love. And that was the daughter of Abraham alehissalaam. You know, one thing about Ibrahim alayhis salaam in the Quran, whenever he prayed and made up, never did it for himself alone. He always included his family in the drop. Now when you pray for your kids, inshallah, for those who don't have kids, May Allah give them kids. But when we pray for our kids, what do we pray for? We want them to be successful. We want them to be beautiful. We want them to be fat. We want them to be told. We want them to be fair. We want them to be good students, we want them. That's what we pray for. But you know, what Ibrahim alayhis salam

prayed for amongst many prayers, he said, shall eat a meal and Nancy de la him. He said, Oh Allah, make the hearts of people inclined towards my children. In other words, he say, Oh Allah, put in the hearts of people that love towards my children. Now that's something that we usually don't pray for Dewey. Nobody says, oh, Allah, I want people to love my children. What do we pray for? Oh, Allah keep people away from my children. Right? Oh Allah, I don't want people to come next to my children. But Ibrahim Alayhi Salam is saying, Oh Allah, put in the hearts of people, the love to my children, which editor mean and nasty to him, we love him. And that is beautiful. But then again, somebody can

say, wait a minute, I thought this is about romantic love. You're talking about the same thing. Again, you're talking about the love of Allah. You're talking about the love of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam what happens to romantic love, and inshallah romantic love is what we will be talking about, as well. But this is a general frame to understand what this whole idea about love is? Because remember, the most important point is this. What you love determines how you live people, whether we like it or not, whether we know it or not. Our lives are usually driven by the way we see life. And what is it in life that we love, because that is going to be the incentive, and

the motivator that would drive us into this whole notion of love. Like we said, insha Allah always the last seven minutes will be for questions and answers. So now inshallah, who would be the time to address the questions, or make the comments if you have any.

Rather, you said in your talk that emotion say a lot about us. Can you please briefly explain what you exactly mean? Yes, good question. We do have a segment here that speaks about how do you get to know the other person because that's partly what we will be talking about as well. But whether we are romantically want to be involved with this person or not, any given minute,

I am telling you something about myself. At any given point, we are revealing wheat in the choice of language that we use, wheat in the body language that we choose, wheat in the way that we walk we in the way that we talk between the things that get our attention, be about the things that we get excited about. So at any given moment, we are revealing cues about who we are and part of it

Also our emotions. What is this person? Like? What are they afraid of? What makes them sad? What makes them happy? What gets them excited, oh, these are all emotions. So if we are able to pay attention to these things, the person is revealing themselves to us. Little by little unusually with our emotions, we can mask it, but not for a long time. Usually, you know, it just comes out. Many times, if we do not have what we call emotional wisdom, these things do come out. So that's what I meant by our emotions, telling something of us every now and then. Good question.

Good. Sometimes what happens is that a person does not even really know what he wants, like he's just programmed by society, you know that this is how he should want. And people don't get in touch with themselves. And that time they have emotions that are not truly themselves. So how can you say that? You can judge a person like that? No. Remember? It's a good question. And I will address it. But just to qualify the statement that I said, I did not say that this is how we know a person. But rather This is one of the ways that we get to know a person, we know person, by the way that they spend their money. We know personally, by the way, that they display themselves, generally speaking,

we're not person by the way that they make money. So at any given moment, we are constantly revealing something about ourselves. So now the question that you asked, and that is sometimes people feel things that are not necessarily real. And you know what, with love this is so unbelievably true. And we will see in sha Allah how that works out. Sometimes people are not in love with the person, but they are in love with the idea. They are in love with love, they're not in love with the question okay. And as we will discuss inshallah, later on in long distance relationships, that is very common. So the point is, the concept of love is a big deal in Islam. It not only you

know, makes life sweeter as we live in this world, but as the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam thought, it will also determine you're here after as well, such as in the case, nobody is admitted to paradise unless they believe and nobody is a believer unless they've got mutual love going on. Or and the other statement that was made by the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And that is, a person will be resurrected in the company of those whom he loves in this world. The thought of the day is pay attention to what you love, because what you love is going to determine how you live. And with this, we come to the conclusion of our program for this time. Next time we'll start by talking

about romantic love. And I'm sure you're going to be there in sha Allah Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh