Yasmin Mogahed – What’s The Secret To Happiness – PT 2

Yasmin Mogahed
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The importance of happiness and finding happiness in relationships is discussed, along with the need for affirmation and confirmation in order to achieve goals. The speakers emphasize the importance of finding happiness in life and finding one's own happiness, rather than focusing on past experiences. The speakers also stress the need for mindful and focused efforts in achieving happiness and finding one's own happiness.

AI: Summary ©

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			Santa Monica, this is Jasmine which I hate and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one
legacy radio. We are continuing today with the question of what is the secret to happiness. Today,
we want to hear from you, we are opening the lines again to listen to your stories we had last time
about some people who had talked about their stories of how they searched for happiness in certain
places. And then, you know, ultimately where they found that happiness. And we did, you know, we
didn't get a chance to get to all your stories last time inshallah, we will be able to get to some
of those that we didn't get a chance to cover last time. But we want to hear from you, we want to
		
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			hear your stories. And, you know, the whole idea here is that we want it to be a dialogue we want to
listen to you and and we are connecting right now with people from all over the world. We have
listeners from Europe, to Africa to Asia, and we and we we all are inspired by your stories. Last
week, we we had a sister, a caller, who shared her story about how she had suffered from severe
anxiety and, and how, you know, she tried all these different methods of trading it and then
eventually, the, the only way that it was treated was that she actually she said that she started to
do the things that Allah soprano that I had told us to do. You know, she started to pray and she
		
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			started to do more digging and remembering a light and, and she said that that actually is what
cured her Subhanallah and she was able to find that peace of heart. And it goes completely in line
with the words of Allah Spano. Tata, because Allah tells us an abbey decree law, he told me that
peace, that internal peace comes with the remembrance of God. And it doesn't come with the
remembrance of any other thing. That's one of the really powerful things to remember is that we, as
human beings, we remember a lot of things. And, you know, we we are always searching for happiness.
And we're always kind of, you know, there's something we're thinking about, there's something that
		
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			we're remembering. But it's it's either that we're remembering the Creator, or we're remembering the
creation. And the remembrance of the creation is not what gives peace, but rather the it's the only
the remembrance in the remembrance of the Creator, that the hearts find peace. This is this is you
know, it makes sense because we know that God is the one who created the heart. So God is also the
nourishment of that which he created. We had also some other stories that we didn't get a chance to
get to, but inshallah I'll be sharing those stories now. We had one sister, who wrote
		
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			one sister wrote selam sister, yes, I mean, I met you at the United for change event. And
		
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			she said, The girl who cried when she met you in response to what brings true happiness, I would say
being closer to Allah, before I became closer to Islam, nothing made me happy. I traveled the world
and had everything at my disposal. Nothing really helped. I would cry every night, and I didn't know
why. I was blessed with so much. So why was I sad all the time, I started to remember a lot and
prayed more and, and hamdulillah I feel much better. It's still a struggle. And I pray that I never
turn away from Allah subhanho data. I mean, we we we ask that you never turn away from Allah
subhanaw taala. And we ask the same for ourselves and for all those listening and for all people,
		
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			that we never turn away from Allah subhanaw taala that is the source of life. Allah is the source of
life, the source of the life of our hearts, the source of the life of our souls, the source of our
true inner life. Another sister shared, making people around me happy makes me happy. There was a
short time when I also thought like every girl, that someone special would make my life happy and I
really wanted to marry him, but got the best lesson from him in the form of betrayal after wasting
my four years on him, so now I know no one can make you happy except for Allah subhanho wa Taala and
I asked him
		
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			To make me happy in the life hereafter in sha Allah, the way he wills, you know, I think that the,
the sister here touches upon a very, very, you know, common misconception and a very deep point. And
that is, I think as women, let's, I mean, just look at the types of stories that we grow up with.
And I don't think it's just, it's just limited to women. But you see that, that, that the stories we
grow up with the fairy tales we grow up with, they teach us that happiness exists in Prince Charming
coming to save you that that's when happiness begins. That's when the happily ever after begins, you
know, those those stories, those those messages, those ideas are, are put in us. They're taught to
		
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			us from a very early age, look at the stories that that we that we hear growing up, you have
Sleeping Beauty, which is essentially a story about a woman who is, is that who is completely
helpless. She's, in fact, it basically a coma. Because, you know, and she can't break out of it,
unless Prince Charming comes and kisses her. And so, it basically is, you know, Prince Charming
comes in, he is the one who brings her in a sense back to life. This, this is a message that, you
know, your life doesn't really fully begin until Prince Charming comes into the picture and, and
completes you or rather, in this case, not just completes you, but actually gives you life or, or
		
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			gives you back life. So you know, these messages, you know, you'll find, so what is what is what is
a girl you know, or or, or a guy who who grows up, you know, constantly bombarded with these
messages what what does that person internalize? Well, you know, it might not be specifically in
that form. But we do, then, you know, believe that, you know, our life doesn't fully begin until we
get married, our life doesn't isn't fully isn't really going to be fully complete, until we get
married, and that there's no happiness outside of that we need we wait for a prince charming to come
and save us to come and complete us to come and bring us back to life in fact, and it's like this
		
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			idea that we'll never be happy until then. And all of our problems kind of will magically disappear
once once we meet that special person. And that's a very dangerous way of thinking. Because as you
know, there is nothing that can save you or bring you back to life or complete you except for your
relationship with your Creator, except for Allah subhanaw taala the the relationship that one has in
marriage or that has it with any of the creation is one of of part of that path to God. But
definitely it is not the completion of the human being. And we and we spoke about this that there is
a there is a very important difference between completing your deen and completing yourself. The
		
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			prophet SAW Selim told us that marriage is half of your deen that marriage completes your deen. But
that's very different than saying that it completes you as a human being that you're not a complete
soul or a complete human being your your purpose in life is not complete, until you get married.
Those are very different concepts. Marriage can complete your deen and it can be one of many things
that can aid you in your deen. Because it is that it is it is something that helps you in building
your character. It is something that helps teach you how to be a better person. Essentially, if you
use your relationships, if your relationships are making you a better person, then you've gotten the
		
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			point. If your relationships are just about feeding your own need, if your relationships are just
about making me happy, then you've missed the point. And in fact you will not have successful
relationships if the point of the relationship is to feed that inner emptiness or to to make me
happy. That wasn't the point. That's not the the the goal of a relationship The goal of the
relationship ultimately, and the goal of all all things in fact in this life are to make us better
people are to make to basically beautify our hearts and so that when we journey through this life,
it's a process of purification of the heart, and then inshallah when we meet Allah subhanaw taala we
		
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			can meet him bill Caliban Salim with a heart that is beautiful. That is sound that is healthy shala
we will take a short break
		
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			And when we return, we will open up the lines for your calls and for your own stories of how you
found happiness.
		
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			Salam Alaikum. This is yes Mujahid and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy
radio. We are talking today about the question of the secret to happiness, we are sharing your
stories talking about where you found happiness, and what are the places where you can't find
happiness. And oftentimes, as it turns out, the places where we generally look for happiness are in
all the wrong places. And one of the, you know, one of the places where most of us tend to look for
happiness is in the creation. And when we say the creation, it includes everything other than the
Creator. The creation means money, the creation means status, the creation means people, the
		
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			creation means power, the sense of control, these are things that we look for, we look, we, we look
for happiness, and and these are all the wrong places to find happiness. One of I think, the most
		
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			deceptive of those places. And the one that's probably the myth that's taught most successfully.
Without you know, anyone, even the the best hearted people wouldn't find a problem in it. And that's
the myth that that happiness is found in other people, that happiness is actually something that you
that you get from, it's a film that you get from other people. And I want to clarify this because
there is this concept in the Quran where Allah subhanaw taala talks about put it out to iron Allah,
you know, the Doha, this has been a headliner, min as word, you know, with a reality now kurata
iron, will Allah gift us with making our spouses and our children the coolness of our eyes? So some
		
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			would would say, Well, isn't that happiness? And I would say yes, that is happiness. However,
ultimately, the happiness comes from Allah subhanaw taala. And these are gifts that Allah gives us.
But if we are seeking the source of happiness in the creation, then that's when we fail. And that's
when we get disappointed. And that's when we come back, not just empty handed, but broken. Because
when you ever you're looking for something in the wrong place, it's like digging into concrete with
your bare hands. When you try to dig into concrete with your bare hands, you don't only come back
with with empty hands, but you come back with broken fingers and * hands. You know, it hurts to
		
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			try so hard to get something from the wrong source. And so essentially, it's about what is the
source? What is the source of happiness? What is the source of fill? Yes, Allah subhanaw taala gives
us contentment, unless upon that it gives us the iron the coolness of our eyes, in our spouses in
our children, in our friends, that these are, these are gifts from Allah. But ultimately, again,
when you ask for something you asked from the source, and when you seek you seek from the source.
This is essentially what we say at least 17 times a day he aka Naboo iya can assign you alone do we
worship and You alone? Do we ask for help? When we're asking for something? Who do we ask from? we
		
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			you know, even when we ask a doctor to cure us, we ask a friend to help us that's fine.
		
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			But we know ultimately, where where that tour comes from and where that help comes from and it's
only from Allah subhanho data.
		
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			someone writes, I found happiness and giving away more of my beloved things to those I love than
keeping them
		
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			upon Allah. You know, this is actually a really powerful concept. And that is a concept that Allah
subhanaw taala speaks about in the Quran when he says when when 10 will be in tune for human matter
hipbone
		
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			that you will not reach goodness until you give from that which you love. In fact, this is something
that Allah tells us in the hot end, and it is something they've actually found in modern day
research, that the people who have more money don't necessarily
		
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			I feel happier. But it's what they found is that it's those people who spend their money on others
that actually are happier. Those the panelists, it's it's the having the money and then spending it
on others or having things and giving it to others that actually increases your happiness. We have
Elizabeth on the line, Santa Monica, Elizabeth awali. Can you hear me? Yes, I can hear you now.
Okay. I just wanted to say Firstly, that it's wonderful to get to listen into your show, and come to
dinner. Thank you, as a young Muslim convert. In my short, 26 years of life, I have found that
happiness for me has come mainly from serving other people. And it's something that as you said, you
		
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			know, our faith really does emphasize Santa Monica, I think,
		
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			hello, okay. I can hear you now. Can you hear me? Yes, I can. Okay, Yes, go ahead. You were saying?
Okay, well, I was just saying that, you know, I found in all of these years of, of being a Muslim,
		
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			that happiness really does come from serving other people and giving for myself, it just fills me
with so much joy to help people who are, you know, in poverty or who just need emotional support.
And I think one of the best things that we can do as human beings is really be good listeners
towards others. And I don't know, just some random ideas that I had is the first time I call into
your show. So it's a great pleasure to hear you Yes, means it's a great pleasure to have you call
them. Thank you, Elizabeth. And, and the point you make is very valid. What you've experienced, you
know, through your life is actually something that researchers have even found in their studies. You
		
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			know, they kind of have found that that people what they say, One theory is that people have sort of
a bass line level of happiness. And
		
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			overall, people don't much change from the baseline, when something really good happens, you know,
people might peak a little bit from the baseline, and then they eventually come back pretty quickly
to that baseline. And when something bad happens, you know, something tragic or something, a loss,
they kind of go down from the baseline, but then again, eventually go back pretty quickly to the
baseline, and that there's kind of this, this baseline that we're, we're at, regardless of what
happens in our life, we just go a little bit up and down. However, they have found that one of the
things that increases the baseline, it's not just the little spikes, but actually increases the
		
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			baseline is generosity, giving to others, and Subhanallah, the, you know, the two things that they
found, one was generosity. And the other is gratitude, that these two concepts are what can actually
increase the baseline of happiness. So it's an extremely Semak concept, as you said, of giving to
others. That's how not I mean, you know, one of the reflections that when I was thinking about that,
I was thinking how merciful Allah subhanho wa Taala isn't how it's actually a manifestation of his
attribute. I love thief. Because a lot, you know, subtly in subtle ways he gives to us without us
even realizing it. And one of the ways in which he subtly gives to us is he actually makes it
		
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			pleasurable for us to give to others. So panelist, it's like he's providing for us by the means of
other people by making it pleasurable to give in a substantial part of His mercy. Is that that exact
thing, imagine if it was just, there was no reward internally for giving to people would be a lot
less likely to give. So Subhanallah thank you for your comment, Elizabeth.
		
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			No, thank you for mentioning gratitude. And that's actually you know, when I feel at my lowest
points because I've had some pretty low points, always training back to a law and remembering what
I've been blessed with and seeing the people who don't have what I have has been a life saving for
me and it's always the quickest way to bring happiness back. Absolutely. analyst panel data tells us
we're in Chicago Toma as you then come and if you are thankful if you think him if you are grateful,
then I will increase you so it's it's absolutely an Islamic concept almost pinata tells us how to,
to have more, to have more, to have more happiness, to have more contentment, also to have more
		
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			blessing, and that is to be thankful to Panama and Hamza Thank you. Yes mean? Thank you, Elizabeth,
Santa Monica. When it comes to them, we we have another comment on on the chat box, I found
happiness when I got depression, because when I got over it, I really knew what happiness is. This
is also Savannah, like extremely profound, you know, another
		
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			sort of reflection that that you can get from this and something that I had been recently thinking
about as well as how we learn things through their opposites. So for example, we wouldn't be able to
understand, a night if there was no day
		
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			knew we wouldn't understand darkness if there was no light. And similarly, Allah subhanho data says
in a manner also to struggle with hardship is ease. And I think there's so much depth in this in
these, in this area, particularly, that you know, with hardship is ease and you know, a lot of times
we think of this as
		
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			hardship, there's ease, and there's a lot of meaning we can take from this one is that when Allah
subhanaw, taala gives us hardship, he also gives us ease at the same time with hardship, there's
ease, not after not bad, but with Ma. And, and so unless panatela may give us things that are
difficult, but he also gives us things that are to help us and to give us ease. At the same time,
you're having a difficulty in one aspect of your life, but at the very same time, you're having ease
in another aspect, Allah gives you the ability to withstand, that's the ease. But there's another
level two, I think, and that is that if we had only ease all the time, like the brother said, if
		
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			everything was always easy, would we even notice that it was easy? Would we would we feel that, that
it's happiness, it's almost as though it because we know what sadness is that we can even appreciate
happiness? And we because we know what hardship is, it's, it's kind of like, if you were on vacation
all the time, and you never had to work, you know, after a while you it doesn't really feel good
anymore. You know, it doesn't feel relaxing, because you're, you know, say you're retired and you
you know, you don't a lot of people become very, almost depressed when they when they retire,
because, you know, it's well, okay, yes, they're not working, but they're not happy either. And so
		
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			the idea is that Subhanallah It is, it is when we, when we recognize, or rather, when we experience
struggle, then we're able to recognize ease, you know, it's when you're working really hard, that
you can appreciate your your time off. But if you really didn't have to work at all, the time off,
doesn't feel the same way. So panela someone else writes, not sure if this is related, but one can
falter even though they're praying five times and having a strong Dean, I mean, committing sins,
they are considered pretty bad. So, you know, this is yes, it is, it is somewhat of a, you know, a
tangent, tangent here, but, you know, the idea of, of committing sins. We are human beings. And yes,
		
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			it's true that, you know, as soon as you start praying five times a day, you're not going to become
an angel. However, however, if we are praying properly, las panatela does say inessa lotherton, Han
and fascia you and Moncada that
		
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			that Salah prevents protects from from shamelessness and evil deeds. So there is a protection in
Salah in prayer. That does not mean of course that that we become angels and that we're no longer
human are able to falter. But it does mean that Allah is protecting us from shamelessness and evil
deeds and even when we do commit sins which as human beings we will fall into, we will return to
Allah subhanaw taala and repent. And that's the point is that Allah doesn't expect us to be perfect,
but Allah wants us to come back to him and repent, when we do make a mistake or we do slip. So
that's you know, ultimately that's the point and, and again, again, it's it's it's Salah is your
		
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			protection, it does give you that barrier, from you know, the the major, major things and even
again, if you fall into those major sins, you will you do have that return to Allah subhanaw taala
in repentance, another listener writes, I feel happiness when I do something for people, specially
in terms of time, help in the time of need, but sometimes I feel bad that I can't do enough for
them, please pray that my dreams come true really want to work for child labor and hunger. May Allah
subhanaw taala use you for his for his cause, and to help other people alone. I mean, it definitely
when you help people in time of need. Then Allah subhanaw taala helps you and this is this is again
		
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			shown in psychological research, but also Allah subhanaw taala tells us this, we know from from
numerous Hadith of the Prophet slice lm where, where we're taught that whenever you you ease or you
take away a difficulty from from the children of Adam from another person, Allah subhanaw taala will
take away one of your hardships on the Day of Judgment. You know, and and there's this connection
between how we treat other people and how Allah subhanaw taala treats us you know that there's a
we're taught by the prophet sallallahu Sallam that when we help another person and try to take and
take away one of their their hardships, Allah will take away our hardship on the day of judgment and
		
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			also when we come
		
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			up the faults of our brother or sister. And that's super important. Sometimes unfortunately, we do
the opposite. We look for fault in another person, and we want to expose it. And when we when we
treat people in that way, then we are asking that Allah would treat us in the same way on the Day of
Judgment, when we're looking for people's faults. And then when we find out a fault in another
person, we expose it, then that also may be how Allah treats us on the Day of Judgment, that our
faults because trust me, you're not perfect, I'm not perfect. We all have faults. And if we're
seeking out other people's faults, guess what Allah subhanaw taala is better at seeking out our
		
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			faults. And Allah subhanaw taala is better at exposing faults than we are. So we have to be very
careful when we when we do that. And in fact that we're taught by the prophets of the lie, send them
that, that when you cover up the faults of other people, so you find out that someone's doing
something that's that's shameful, or something wrong, and you and you try to cover up that person
instead of exposing them, then Allah subhanaw taala will do the same for you inshallah, on the day
of judgment and cover up your faults. Yes, me and I think serving others is super awesome from
volunteering to helping a neighbor. But I think it starts to have a reverse effect when you start to
		
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			depend on the outcome or success of your efforts. How should we address the need for affirmation and
success? That is a beautiful question. And I think it actually there's a very important reason why
we tend to depend on the outcome or success of our efforts, if something is done purely for the sake
of God, and this is actually one of the litmus tests to know whether we're doing something
volunteer, or activism or whatever it is, one of the litmus tests to really truly know if it is
being done for the sake of God is that we don't lose hope. When we don't see results. We don't lose
hope and give up when we aren't seeing an outcome. The reason why is because if it's purely for the
		
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			sake of God, regardless of the physical outcome that we see with our eyes, regardless of the so
called result, we are still getting our reward for Allah from Allah subhana wa Tada. So it's kind of
like, it shows you Why am I really doing this, suppose someone, I'll give you an example, someone
puts in so much effort into an event, you know, they, they plan, they're planning for weeks, you
know, they're trying, you know, sleepless nights, so much work, you know, goes into planning these
things sometimes. And then after all, the planning, you know, almost no one shows up, they raise
almost no money, suppose it's a fundraiser, whatever it is, and the person just becomes so hopeless,
		
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			that they just give up the work. That in and of itself, it's a, it can be a sign that what I was
doing it in order to get a result, right, I was doing it in order to get x y, you know, X number of
people to attend or I was doing it to get y number of money or number of dollars raised or, or
whatever. But if I'm really doing it for Allah, Allah does not reward me based on the result. Allah
rewards me based on two things, my actions and my intentions, and neither actions nor intentions are
linked to results necessarily at all. So you may not have any results, but your but your actions and
your intentions were pure, you will be given the highest reward inshallah. So it's it's a very good
		
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			point. And it's something that we have to always remind ourselves in, in purifying our intention
that regardless of the outcome, regardless of the, the result, our reward is with Allah subhana wa
Tada. Elizabeth writes, Allah says in the end, that he created things in pairs, happiness and
sadness go together indeed, yes, upon Allah. And again, you know, in Amala, 303, with a heart with
hardship is ease and and, you know, Allah tells us he created the day and he created the night in
like you said that the pairs that that these things, really the pairs and the opposites are what
really allow us to understand, you know, to understand things, we understand, you know, those people
		
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			who, who, who revert to Islam, you know, they say that like, because they, they, they in their
previous life, or before they became Muslim, they lived a certain reality, they lived a certain
life, and because of that life that they live, they can truly appreciate and understand the light of
Islam as like when you see darkness and you know what it's like, then you can fully fully appreciate
the light. And so it isn't, no we should, we should realize that there is a wisdom in everything
that loss of how no data created, there is a wisdom, even in the sadness even in the struggle even
in the the lack of happiness and
		
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			It's those things which then allow us to appreciate the light, and the happiness and the ease.
Someone else writes, I found happiness by being religious, used to spend nights crying, but
Alhamdulillah now I'm remembering a lot more, I find myself at ease when I feel unhappy, I just
remember that someone out there has got it worse. This is definitely a tool of, of increasing
happiness. And it's ultimately gratitude, realizing that there's someone who has got it worse. This
is known as the Prophet size. And I'm told us that when it comes to Deen, when it comes to religion,
we should compare ourselves with those who are better than us. But when it comes to dunya, we should
		
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			compare ourselves with those who are less than us, those who have less than us. And the reason for
that is when we compare ourselves, you know, what's what's what's ironic is that we actually do the
opposite. Usually, you know, it makes us feel better that when someone comes and says, you know, why
aren't you wearing Hijab? or Why aren't you praying, it makes me feel better to say, Well, at least
I'm not doing what that person is doing right, or I know a lot of hijab Bs, and one common one is I
know a lot of hijab, Bs, and they're, they do XYZ bad things. And so the idea is that it makes me
feel better by comparing myself to someone who I, I perceive as being doing something lesser Indian,
		
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			or I perceive as being lesser in religion. And by comparing myself to those who are less than me in
religion, I become, I feel comfortable with where I'm at, and I and I, and I can make excuses for
where I'm at. And in fact, we're supposed to be doing the opposite, we're supposed to be looking at
those who are better than us look at the examples that are better than us, in order for us to strive
more not for us to become complacent. And then, you know, with dunya, this is often what we do, we
again, do the exact opposite. And that is that, you know, when I have, you know, if I have a, you
know, a nice, I have a nice car, and you know, maybe I'm content with it, but I look at my neighbor,
		
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			and my neighbor has two nice cars, then all of a sudden, you know, then I'm not content anymore,
because I've compared to what, what seems like more in dunya? And unfortunately, that's what we do.
Well, yeah, I have, you know, I have this, but this person has has so much more, why do I have less,
and so we tend to look at Indonesia, we compared to those who have more than us. And as a result, it
makes us, you know, discontented, it causes a lack of contentment, and it causes in gratitude, when
in fact, what we should be doing is as the, as the listener said, we should be looking at those who
have less than us. And by looking at those who have less than us, it breeds gratitude, instead of,
		
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			you know, a lack of appreciation, and says, when we are depressed, we appreciate our mortality. My
depression, along with a string of horrible experiences made me question the purpose of life, which
then guided me to Assam, Allahu Akbar. And you know, this is a theme that we see Subhanallah
throughout the end, Allah subhanaw taala says that one of the reasons that he gives hardship is
because it makes people come back, Allah says, Allah, Allah homeotic Jeroen in one a, in order that
they come back, come back to him, it is oftentimes during those times of hardship and depression or
or difficulty, that we are shaken out of our coma, right, shaken out of our sleep, and distractions.
		
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			And that's when we wake up and come back to Allah subhanho data, but at times, it takes that shake,
and that shake is his hardship. And so this is a, this is sort of a you know, this is a common theme
on a, you know, with human beings, that's our human nature, that when things are easy, we have the
tendency, and this is not always the case, you know, this is not always the case. But we have the
tendency when things are easy to become distracted and to become heedless of the reality of the
things in life, right. We forget about the hereafter when we feel comfortable in this life, but when
it's those things are taken from us in this life, and when we feel afraid, or we feel sad, that's
		
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			when we remember, like she said, mortality we remember the bigger things we remember what's after
this life. You know, this is this is our overall art our human nature. Again, this is this is not
always the case. There are some people in times of ease, they do feel grateful, they do have
gratitude, and they do remember Allah subhanaw taala but overall, this is a human weakness that we
tend to forget when things are easy, and we tend to remember God more when things are difficult. And
it is Allah subhanaw taala who's the most merciful, he wants us to remember him he wants to bring us
back and so at times it is by sending hardship it's by sending the storm that we seek shelter in
		
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			him. And when it's really nice out right and there's no no hardship and we feel comfortable. We
don't feel the need
		
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			Need to seek refuge in God as much. And so sometimes it is actually a mercy that Allah subhanaw
taala sends us that hardship in order to come back to him. Again, you know, we can call in, we do
have the lines open, the number to call in, you can call in the number is 714-988-8182, we would
love to hear from you, you know, to share your stories, your reflections, your insights, on this
question of happiness. Roxanna says making people around me happy makes me happy. There was a short
time when I also thought, like every girl, that someone special would make my life happy. And I
would and I really wanted to marry him. Yeah, this was the the story we shared earlier about how she
		
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			learned that that isn't where happiness comes from. It is a very, very common, a common myth that we
think that other people are going to fill that hole that we have inside of us, and Subhanallah that
that whole, you know, once you really try that, you realize that that emptiness can only be filled
by Allah subhanaw taala. One point to make here, I think it is true that by making others happy, we
also feel happy. But there's also I think, a trap that we can fall into there, where we also
dependent in a way on making others happy. And that can also be a trap. For example, I've had many
people who they become very depressed because no matter what they do, they can't make their parents
		
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			happy. And And And yes, in Islam, we are told to try you know, we are told will be Wiley, Dania
Santa, and we're supposed to treat our parents with, with sand with with the most beautiful of
treatment. And and that heaven is at the feet of mothers and with so much emphasis on this treatment
of parents. However, there are some people who who do everything in their power they do what they're
told, they do what all that they can they do what Allah subhanaw taala has asked them to do, but
still they're not able to make their parents happy. It's, you know, it's just they've done what they
can and they just can't do it. And so at that point, they become still very depressed. And that's
		
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			because, again, it's looking in a sense for results. Because your job ultimately isn't to actually,
you know, quote, unquote, be successful and to get the result, your job is to do the work. Your job
is to have the pure intention, the result of your work and the result of your intention that's with
Allah subhanaw taala, you will not be asked about the result, you will be asked about your effort,
and you will be asked about your intention. Look at the prophets, peace be upon them. Some of them
had followers, some of them had almost none. Does that mean that those who had less followers were
somehow less successful in their mission, that isn't the measure of success, the results are with a
		
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			law. That's not what we're asked for. So, you know, sometimes again, it can also be a trap, where
we, when we depend our happiness on the happiness of others, it is true, we should we should serve
others and we should try, you know, to give to others and be generous. However, we have to be
careful not to make our happiness dependent on the happiness of others on being successful in make
because sometimes no matter what we do, if we can't make the other person happy, and that isn't our
fault, that's against something that's not in our own hands. Phil Ross writes, in my humble opinion,
Allah subhanaw taala tests our love and commitment for him in hardships. Again, it is it is a very
		
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			good point that that hardships, has a number of hardships have a number of wisdoms behind them and
these are some of them are told to us in the code and and some are, you know, we may not know Allah
subhana wa tada knows best. But Allah does tell us that there is a number of reasons why Allah
subhanho data gives us hardship. One of them is that we may come back to him, one of them Allah
subhanaw taala says leiomyoma, solo livina M and o in order to undergo a process called plumb Hayes.
And Tom Hayes is a process of purification. And it's the same type of process that that that's used
to describe the purification of gold, when you want to heat when you want to, to purify gold and
		
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			remove any kind of impurity from the gold, you heat it up. That's what you do to purify gold, that
process of heating up gold is what removes the impurities. And similarly, the process of hardship is
what purifies the believer, Allah says, The oma has Hello livina M and that Allah also puts
believers through this process of, of purification. And that process itself involves heating up
involves hardship involves struggle, but the result is purification. And I mean, this is not
something that you really, really understand until you experience it. That that you see that through
your own life. That those those those
		
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			periods of time that when you were in them, you know, you just wanted them to end right? Sometimes
you just, you just it just hurts when you're in it. But it's it's, you know, it's over time. And
when you look back at those periods in time, where that were the hardest for you, and maybe were the
most painful for you, you see how they changed you? They see you see how they taught you? And you
see how they purified you. So panela someone writes, asks, How can you change your lifestyle, to be
happy and to please Allah, and leave you an easier daily routine that is wasting time? Mostly? I
think the answer for this is, is really in the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala The reason we
		
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			become distracted by the things around us and by the things that ultimately don't matter, is because
is because we have forgotten about Allah, we become distracted when we don't remember him enough.
One of the ways we forget about a lot is in the salon, we abandon the salon. We I, we either don't
pray, or we pray late, we delay our prayers, that that that act in and of itself is going to
distract us is going to make us less able to focus on those things that really matter and, and will
will will, you know, that'll make us focus more on on things that don't matter and wasting our time
comes as a result of, of not really being able to focus on the truth and on the realities of this
		
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			life in the neck. So I would say practically, it has to do to the change in your lifestyle that's
going to make you more happy. First of all, and and going to make it easier to use your time wisely
is increased in your remembrance Allah subhanaw taala says LLB decree like ultimate in nikolova
indeed in the remembrance of God to the hearts find peace and satisfaction, so you will become more
happy with the remembrance of Allah. Similarly, Allah says woman Otto than decree Fenella whom I
shun banca whoever turns away from my remembrance, for him will be a narrow, miserable life. When
you turn away from the remembrance of God. You're not happy, ultimately, you're not into the true
		
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			type of happiness. You don't have that. And, and, and remembering God is remembering those things
that matter. And so it will become part of your lifestyle to to focus on those things instead of
those things that don't matter. The greatest advice, Elizabeth writes, the greatest advice I have
ever received is to always have a good opinion of God in good and bad times. I have lived my life
with this point in mind, even though the darkest moments of my own life even through the darkest
moments of my own life, trusting that he knows best for us always. That is absolutely beautiful
advice. And I agree it is probably one of the best advice that someone can give Huston of London,
		
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			London now having the most beautiful and best opinion of Allah subhanaw taala no matter what you're
going through, and and even when you can't see in it, you can't see in it the wisdom or you can't
understand in it the good, you know, with full certainty that it's good for you. You know that
because you know that Allah would never do something bad for you Allah would never just put you
through hardship just for the sake of hurting you. You know that because you have Hilson of thunder
Bella, you have the best opinion of Allah Subhana Allah and Allah tells us in had youth, let's see
that whoever that Anya in the Lonard dB, that I am, as my servant thinks of me. So let my servant
		
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			thing good of me. Allah saying he will be as you think of him. So if you think good of Allah all the
time, you have the best opinion of him. If you believe that Allah will never, never leave you, that
alone will only bring you what is good for you. That's exactly what will happen. That is exactly how
Allah subhanaw taala will be with you. If you believe that Allah is going into that Allah is the
most merciful and that Allah subhanaw taala wants you to be near him and Allah or whatever he sends
you is good for you. That's exactly how unless pinata will be with you. However, if you think
otherwise, that's how Allah will be with you. So be very, very careful how you view Allah subhanaw
		
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			taala and what is your opinion of Allah subhana wa tada
		
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			nor writes, I feel happy when I feel that I'm making progress. I am in a process of learning more
and becoming better little by little and have sincerity towards Allah. On the other hand, it scares
me so much when I don't have the intense sincerity, but at home the lead normally comes back after a
short time after making lots of thought. Absolutely. And it's important to remember that sincerity
is a gift. Sincerity is it comes from God It does not come from me. And so we ask Allah subhanaw
taala continuously to make us sincere and to make it last easy for us. It's important that we ask
Allah Subhana
		
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			Allah make it easy for me make setup easy for me make make truthfulness easy for me. Make patience,
easy for me. And and just you know, we ask Allah to purify our intentions. But at the same time
remember, you are only human. Sometimes by putting a standard too high for yourself a super human
standard for yourself, you actually set yourself up for failure, and, and slipping lower than you
would if you had not put such a high standard. What I mean by that is, is this issue of sincerity
can also be a tool that shaitan uses against us. For example, when you're trying to do a good deed,
you want to get up and pray or you want to help out in the mission, you want to give charity shaitan
		
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			could come to you and whisper and say, actually, you're only doing that you're only getting up to
pray because you want people to say, Man, he's so religious, or she's so religious, you're only
going to help in the mission, because you want people to say, oh, look how how pious he or she is
you only want to give money because you want people to say you're generous. And and and it is true
that we should not be doing these things for the sake of the people. However, when shaitan uses that
against you, what do you think he wants you to do? He wants you to stop doing the good deed. So what
may happen is, when I'm trying to get up to pray, or I'm trying to do more thou or I'm trying to do
		
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			you know, give charity, he comes in whispers to me, well, you're only doing that for the people. So
just don't do it. That's the bottom line. So the end result is now I haven't done something, I
basically haven't done the good deed. So instead what we should be doing is continue to do the good
deed, but at the same time, struggle and make the art to purify your intention. Do not abandon the
deed, this is a trick of shaitan. Ultimately shaitan will use whatever trick in he has whatever
method he can to get you to not worship Allah. It doesn't matter which direction he comes from. So
sometimes he may come through the direction of this, this idea of sincerity or you're not sincere,
		
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			so just don't do it. And as a result, we abandon the good deed. Don't abandon the good deed, don't
abandon it, because you're afraid of your impure intention. In fact, continue the good deed. But ask
Allah subhana wa tada to purify your intention. At the same time.
		
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			Make writes, whenever I feel happy, or sad, stressed or even mad, I try to remember that all these
emotions, try to remember that all these emotions, and reflecting on these emotions example why I
feel them are what makes me human, nothing else stays the same. If happiness is the standard, then
also remember that happiness runs in circles. A lot of the time I feel stressed and wonder if I'll
ever truly feel as happy as I have in the past. But it's through reading and listening to his words
that I feel calm and content. This is ultimately what helps me power through and find clarity in
what I do. Absolutely. And remember that happiness is a creation, sadness is a creation, all of
		
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			these emotions are the creation of Allah subhanaw taala. And remember that Allah does not do
anything without a purpose. Allah created happiness for a purpose. And Allah created sadness for a
purpose. So remember that, that it isn't haphazard, it isn't without meaning. It isn't without, you
know, a better and greater plan. It isn't, you know, just, it isn't random. It isn't random, it's
part of a greater plan. And just seek Allah subhanaw taala to to make whatever it is that you are
going through good for you. If it is happiness, sadness, whatever it is, it may ask Allah subhanaw
taala to use this as a means to get closer to him. henna says I find that when in a moment of
		
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			weakness, and I think a person has given me grief. That's when I feel really upset and depressed and
lost. And when I remember that even hard times are from Allah, then the problem becomes more
bearable because then I know Allah won't leave me alone. Allahu Akbar. That is a beautiful way to
think. Remember that whatever comes your way, was never meant to miss you. Whatever befalls you was
not meant to miss you, and whatever missed you was not meant to befall you. You know, there's a
Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam which he says that no person will taste the sweetness of a
man until he realizes that whatever has befallen him was not meant to miss him. Whatever has missed
		
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			him was not meant to be fallen befall him. Allah Subhana Allah knows best Assa and Takahashi and oho
hydro netcom. It may be that you hate something, and it is good for you, wasa and to Habu shade and
shadow nachum. And it may be that you love something, it's bad for you. Allah knows and we don't
know. This is extremely important for us to understand if we are to taste the sweetness of Eman.
Whenever something happens that you don't like, or something isn't happening that you do like
remember that it isn't the person who's in charge, right? It isn't that you know the person
		
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			And, you know who, who, who's involved or that, you know that that gave you something or took
something from you or, or, or whatever it happens to be of the creation. Those are just tools, but
ultimately everything comes from Allah subhanaw taala and everything is within his knowledge and
within his will. So, so seek Allah subhanaw taala and remember that this is really the idea of
Rhoda, that contentment, knowing that everything comes from him and therefore and therefore, we love
whatever comes from Allah subhanho data. According Cody Heather was stuck for a lot. You will come
in our photo Rahim. subhanak alaba ham deck and share the one that you learn and stuff pero cuando
		
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			la wa salam o Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh