The People We Meet, The Lessons We Learn

share this pageShare Page
Yasmin Mogahed

Channel: Yasmin Mogahed

Episode Notes

The People We Meet, The Lessons We Learn
By: Yasmin Mogahed

Serenity Podcast:
Yasmin talks about what we learn from the people we meet throughout this path of life. She shares some of her own personal stories about important people that she has encountered along her own life journey.

Presented on November 23, 2011

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:05--> 00:00:54

SNM on a comb, this is his new jacket and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio. Today, I actually wanted to share some personal reflections that I had experienced recently. But on a larger scale, the topic for today has to do with the people that we encounter throughout our lives and the effect that these people have on our life. So basically, as we walk through life, there's a lot of people who come into our path that, that we cross paths with people who come into our life, and people who leave our life. And I really believe that every person that we meet, there's some purpose, why they did come into our life. And I also believe that there's some purpose,

00:00:54--> 00:01:30

why certain people leave our lives and that all these things happen for a reason. And, and it's very important that we look into these things and learn, what are those, you know, what are what is it that we're supposed to be learning from these encounters, and from these experiences, because Subhanallah, you know, one of the beautiful ahaadeeth, that I really, really love myself, and I really relate to, at a deep level, is the one where the Prophet civilize them says, that people that the souls are like armies, and that, and that the people who recognize each other,

00:01:31--> 00:02:13

from previous, so there's like, there's like a different realm where the souls existed. And some people, some of the souls knew each other and interacted with each other and recognize each other. And so those people who knew each other from that realm, or recognize each other from that realm, will have an affinity to each other in this world. And they'll, they'll, they'll basically, they'll get along in this world. And those people who don't recognize each other, from that other realm, will not, will kind of be repelled from each other in this life. And so this, this, this panel of this Hadith, explains this sort of phenomenon that you sort of, sometimes feel with some people,

00:02:13--> 00:02:50

where you, you don't, you may have just met the person, or maybe you never even met the person, you you, you know, you read something that they wrote, or you feel like a connection with people, certain people, and you may not have known them for very long, but you just feel like an immediate connection. And a lot of times people will say things like, Oh, I feel like I've known you my whole life. And it really is like that, you know, you there is just like this natural connection that you have with some people. And SubhanAllah. There is some, you know, there's some reason for that. And so what I wanted to do actually was share a couple of experiences that I had, and some people that I

00:02:50--> 00:03:35

met and, and I don't know, you know, some of these people if I'll you know how much interaction we'll have with them again in the future, but just how much I learned from from just meeting these people shortly. And, and I know that all of us have experiences similar to this. But last weekend, I was actually in New York and New Jersey, and I spent a lot of time in going to different parts of New Jersey. After I spoke, I spoke at NYU on Friday. And then and then New Jersey, I spent Saturday and Sunday in New Jersey. And one of the places where I spoke, it was a Masjid in New Jersey. And after the talk, there were two sisters that came up to me. And one of the sisters, what she shared

00:03:35--> 00:04:17

with me, somehow late moved me so much so deeply like it was every time I talk about it or even, you know, just think about what it is that this woman is going through. It still shakes me. But basically this woman, she she told me that she you know, she had been listening to some of my lectures and she was issued, she was expressing appreciation for them and that she had benefited from them. She had I guess, read some things. But she shared with me her own sort of her own situation. And it was that she has four children. And when when one of the children was young, I think she was probably around three and a half. She said that the child was talking and was

00:04:17--> 00:04:31

completely normal. And then one day, she stopped talking. And like, I think I'm not sure which one it was, but one of them the school calls and was kind of concerned that this child had just stopped talking. And

00:04:32--> 00:04:59

they didn't know why. So they they kind of they weren't sure but basically she didn't start talking she she she kept you know, quiet and so they didn't know what was wrong with her. They took her to the doctor. And what they found out was that she had a rare genetic disease and they'll just get this is what the doctor is telling this woman. The doctor tells this woman that your child has this disease whereby

00:05:00--> 00:05:43

You know, she's may be completely normal right now, she can talk and she can hear and she can see and everything like that. But in then she will slowly lose her ability to talk, she will lose her ability to hear, she will lose her ability to see. And she will not live past the age of 13. And she will suffer and then she will die. And, and this is what the doctor had told her about her child. And then she found out that she actually had four kids at the time. And she found out that her other child while she was tested and found out that her other child also had the same disease, and then found out that her third child also had the same disease. And she just had her fourth child at this

00:05:43--> 00:06:26

time was about six months old, perfectly normal baby. And so she didn't think, you know, there's anything wrong with that baby. But But then she got that baby tested and found out that that baby also has the same disease. So this was something this woman was told about all of her children, all four of her children. And now, her children are older. And she said that her oldest child, the one who, who was told that she wouldn't live past the age of 13, has just turned in spatola I think it might have been the day I met her or right before, has just turned 15. So it was like she was telling me this story. And she was basically she was telling me how grateful they were that that

00:06:26--> 00:07:13

this girl had lived, they had told her that she wasn't going to live past 13. And she had just turned 15. Now, like my mind, it's hard for my mind to, you know, for me to wrap my mind around this type of test, this type of trial that this woman is encountering, but there was so many gems, like so many lessons that I like, could just sit and learn from her just from hearing her story. But one of them is I felt that this woman was a walking talking proof of Allah subhanaw taala. And the reason is that this is a trial that we I personally could never imagine being put through. And yet this woman was, she was still smiling, she was still living, she was still just like everyone else.

00:07:13--> 00:07:59

I mean, you you'd find her and you wouldn't think that she was the superhero going through this super massive trial. But rather, she was like, I mean, Subhanallah like it was such a such a sign of Allah subhanaw taala that when Allah gives you Subbu when Allah gives you patience, when Allah gives you the gives you contentment, that no matter what hits you, you have the ability to withstand it in a way that other people don't have, even if they're given something like so much smaller, because somebody can be given a trial, which is, which is extreme, you know, like, I use this example, someone could be stuck in traffic, they're in a traffic jam, and they're freaking out, like, it's,

00:07:59--> 00:08:45

you know, it's really like, a very stressful I mean, I have to say it is pretty stressful. But, you know, when you're when you're stuck and you're at or somebody somebody cuts you off, right? And it's like something like that is is it just aggravates you to such an extent that you just like kind of lose it for a bit. And yet other people can have trials like this trials where you you can't even imagine in your wildest dreams even being subjected to such a trial and yet they're subjected to this trial. And they're completely okay. Mashallah. And that is a lesson and assign in and of itself, that last how long well Apple was the 11th, that every there is no power or change or

00:08:45--> 00:09:30

strength, or any ability whatsoever, except by Allah subhanaw taala we have no ability to withstand anything, we cannot withstand anything, except by Allah, if Allah allows us to. And and and here's the other lesson is if Allah does allow us to, if Allah does give us the strength, and does give us the support, we can withstand anything, we can withstand things that we never imagined we'd be able to withstand. And it's all based on whether or not we have the help of Allah subhanaw taala whether or not we've been given the the patience, and the End The End The riddle at a higher level. at a higher level is the contentment though to the if that's given by Allah subhanaw taala we, I mean,

00:09:30--> 00:09:59

you can, you can smile, you can smile even while you're in that trial itself. And one of the most beautiful examples of this lesson is the example of SEO. And the example of SEO always moves me because SEO was a woman who was in you know, one of the worst situations you can imagine being in she was married to me this isn't just an abusive man. He's a murderer. He is a mass murderer. I mean, he's

00:10:00--> 00:10:08

Fit out. And he's one of he's, in fact, the most evil worst person ever walked the earth, and he's her husband. And he's,

00:10:09--> 00:10:57

he, he actually tortures her physically. And he takes her and he's put her in such a situation that, you know, many of us can't, can't even fathom. And yet, we're told that in this situation, she was given the ability, because of the help of Allah subhanaw taala, she was given the ability to smile. And in that situation, she was able to smile. And it's because she asked Allah subhana wa tada to show her her home in Jenna. And because he showed her her home in Jenna, she was able to smile, even while she was being, you know, going through that trial in the middle of it. And, and it's like, you know, subpanel is such a lesson for us. Because we, you know, we're not going to look up into the

00:10:57--> 00:11:45

sky and actually see physically our home agenda. And yet, Allah subhanaw taala can show us our home agenda. In you know, our hearts can see that vision that that glimpse of our home agenda, whereby whatever is given to us, whatever trial we are going through, can become light, just the same way that it did for us yet, or the line, hmm. And that only comes by the help of Allah, Allah gives us that help, then any trial can be made easy. And any trial can be something where even while we're walking through it, we can smile. And so what we need to do is not fear that the hunger or the thirst or the loss, but the thing we really need to be afraid of is that the hunger or the thirst or

00:11:45--> 00:12:29

the loss would come when we don't have food or drink, or, you know, Allah subhanaw taala to hold us up. The idea here is that, you know, nobody would say that it's a problem. So it's not it's not a problem, when you're at home, and the fridge is full. And you say, huh, I'm hungry, like I'm hungry, or I'm thirsty. It's not a problem. Why is it not a problem to be hungry or thirsty in that situation, because the food is two steps away, you have the food there in the fridge, and you have the water. So it's okay, the hunger and the thirst isn't the problem at this point. And similarly, it's not a problem. If you feel feel cold, as long as you can walk over to the thermostat and turn

00:12:29--> 00:13:13

on the heat. As long as you have a blanket, it's fine. The problem is when you feel hungry, and you're or thirsty, and you're in the middle of a desert, and there's no food and there's no water, or you feel cold and you're sleeping on the street and you have nothing to cover with you have no home, then that's when that's when it's a problem. And so, our, our concern and our fear should not be for the trial itself, but rather that the trial because we know that the trials will come, but rather that the trial would come without the help of Allah to aid us without the the Subhan Allah subhanaw taala, giving us the subber. And at a higher level, though, to the contentment to to

00:13:13--> 00:13:56

withstand that trial. Because if he does give that to us, if he does give us that support, and that and that contentment, it's just like that person who's sitting on the couch and feels hungry and gets up and get some food from the fridge, you know that their provision is provided for them and we ask Allah subhanaw taala that any time he sends us the trial, anytime he sends us the test, he also sends the provision whereby we can we can that test and that and that trial can become easy, in the same way that it was for Seattle, the Alon Hmm. So, inshallah We'll take a short break. And when we return, I'll share more reflections on the people that affect us in our past

00:14:44--> 00:15:00

Assalamu alaikum This is yes Mujahid and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio. We are reflecting today about the people that pass through our lives and the lessons that we learned from them. And I shared a story about

00:15:00--> 00:15:24

A sister that I met a last weekend in my trip to the east coast. And one of the, the other reflections that that I had about her story, one of the things she had also shared regarding her, her daughters, or rather her children, is that they had come to a point where they can't swallow their own saliva. So

00:15:26--> 00:16:13

she actually has to stay up with them at night. And suction the saliva because if she doesn't, they will choke on their own saliva. And I mean, just thinking about that alone, the fact that how many times a minute we, we swallow our saliva, and we never for a moment even think about it, that I could have just choked. But but instead I swallowed like this thought doesn't go through our mind. And, and yet, this is something that is, is a blessing of Allah subhanaw taala that is completely unseen by us. And when she told me that, I just felt like that this was a lesson for me. Because I never even thought about it. I never thought about like to stay in Hamlet, and now that I just

00:16:13--> 00:16:56

swallowed my saliva, you know, it's something that we don't think about. And yet there are people in the world who will choke on their saliva because they can't swallow it. And I just Subhan Allah, the things that Allah He showers on us of ours of blessings. And Allah subhanaw taala is a Latif You know, sometimes he is subtle, you know, his blessings are subtle, we don't even see, we don't even see them. And Subhanallah This is just one of them where I was, you know, and then we think about, you know, also like, one of the hardest things, one of the hardest tests really, for a woman and a man as well as to is for something to happen to their child. Because the the love that, that a

00:16:56--> 00:17:43

parent or a mother or a father has for the child is really unlike any other type of love. And, and you'll notice that even when Allah subhanaw taala makes a metaphor or a less kind of thought as high above any analogy. But when Allah subhanaw taala says that his mercy, he is more merciful to us. The example he uses is the example of a mother to their child. And he says that he is more merciful to his servant, his slave, then a mother is to her child. And there's a reason why Allah subhanaw taala uses that example. Because we know that that of all the types of mercy and compassion that lives that is in the world that exists, that's the highest level. And so Allah subhanaw taala is saying

00:17:43--> 00:18:27

his is a higher than that, and then, you know, infinitely higher than that. So this, so among them, the human connections and the human type of mercy and attachment and love, and compassion, this is the highest and so to be tested in that is really unlike any other test. It's it's, you know, when you think about the tests of the prophets, peace be upon him the test of Ibraheem alehissalaam What was he tested in, he was tested in his child. And you think about, you know, other other tests where the kabbalists his children were also taken from him. And, and useeffect, asylums, father, his child was taken from him, these are the tests that are given to the serious superheroes of humanity, you

00:18:27--> 00:19:11

know, the prophets peace be upon them all. So for for someone to be tested in that way, that's a that's a very, very high level of test, because of the the attachment that there is there. And panola, the other lady that I met at that same talk, she actually and I know, this can't be a coincidence that the two people, the two older the rest of them were younger, and the two older ones that were there who had children, they both had the same type of test, the other woman actually had lost her child in a very tragic accident. And when she described the accident to me, I was just amazed, Pamela, and the thing that really, really amazed me one of the things that amazed me is that

00:19:11--> 00:19:54

these two women, I can imagine you know, in sha Allah, may Allah build for them the highest level in Jenna, but I can I feel that these two women are are of such a high level in sha Allah and Jenna, and it just felt honestly I felt honored that I was even in their company, you know, that even my path crossed their path because of the level that inshallah they're at because of what they went through. And what amazes one more and is extremely humbling is the fact that they were telling me that that I had something to benefit them with. And that to me is extremely humbling because I look at these women and seriously these are the real superheroes in the people who have withstood you

00:19:54--> 00:20:00

know, these types of tests which we hear about in history books, you know, and these people are standing right in front of you.

00:20:00--> 00:20:12

When Subhanallah they're just, you know, they mix in with the rest of the people they look like they're, you know, just the same, they smile, they talk, they laugh, they interact, but they have been and they are walking through,

00:20:13--> 00:20:55

you know, some of the most severe trials, but Allah subhanaw taala is is their helper and when Allah subhanaw taala is your helper, you can withstand anything. And when Allah subhanaw taala, out of VLAN one Allah subhanaw taala leaves us to ourselves. And we ask Allah subhanaw taala never to leave us to ourselves because when Allah leaves a servant to himself, you know, the DA of the prophets I send them was letter kidney ill NFC thought for dying, to not leave me to myself, even for the blink of an eye. And this is so profound because Allah subhanaw taala if he leaves a servant, even for the blink of an eye, you know that that person is destroyed, you can't, you cannot survive, if Allah

00:20:55--> 00:21:40

subhanaw taala were to leave you to yourself. So we ask Allah subhanaw taala to never leave us to ourselves, and inshallah always be our supporter and VR help. And in that way, we can withstand whatever trial does come our way in sha Allah tala. Now, one other reflection that I that I wanted to share, because I did, it really moved me as well. And I felt that there was a deep lesson in it was a story. This was actually probably about two weeks ago. And what had happened is a friend of mine, she, her mother had been battling cancer for a while, and she she had passed away. So after a long struggle with cancer, she passed away. And again, you know, Subhanallah when I saw this woman,

00:21:40--> 00:22:28

so she had, she had a gathering at her house, and I was asked to come give some reflections. And when I saw her, I was seriously, like, amazed that when I saw this woman, it was as if she was she was the same woman that I had seen. every other time, I saw her the same, pleasant, contented, you know, she's she just looked like at peace a lot, you know, Pamela Smith and Michelle law, and in her mother had just passed away. So Pamela, and this, again, is proof of the fact that it isn't the trial that makes things difficult in our lives, isn't the, the type of trial or the what it is, that's actually happening. What what makes things difficult in our life, is if we are not close to

00:22:28--> 00:23:09

Allah, or Allah subhanaw taala has not given his help. And so we we should never again, you know, look at the trial itself. But we ask Allah subhanaw taala to give us the help, by way, you know, it's so that whatever it is, it's made easy. And really, these were lessons in front of my eyes, seeing these people's Panama. And one of the statements that she said, it really struck me, she said that while she was while her mother was ill, and she obviously was helping her and there was a lot of her mother needed a lot of help. She while she was helping her mother, there were people who would tell her like, you know, you're getting looked at, you're getting so much hassle net, and

00:23:09--> 00:23:51

you're getting, you know, so many good deeds for what you're doing. And just her reaction to that was such a lesson for me. She said that, to her, she said, she said, I never even thought about it like that. She said, I never I'm not when she was helping her mother, she said, I never, I never thought about it, that I'm, I'm getting all these good deeds. For this, in my mind, what I'm doing is, is the least that I can do for her, in my mind, what I'm doing is is out of love out of, in fact, out of the fact that she deserves this from me, and that everything she has done for me, this is the least I could do for her. And what it made me think about was our relationship with Allah

00:23:51--> 00:24:29

subhanaw taala. And how that we sometimes when we, when we do things when we when we worship a law, or we do you know, good deeds, sometimes we're thinking like, okay, you know, we're, we're keeping track of the good deeds, you know, and like, one time I heard in this talk, that was really funny. It's like, it's like, we look up and we're like, Allah, did you see that? You know, like, I just did this thing, like, like, are you paying attention, you know, like, not jot that down, you know, like, we're, we're keeping track of all of these things that we're doing, you know, almost like there's this tally, and we're, we're very pleased, you know, we did this check, we did this. And, you know,

00:24:29--> 00:24:59

and we're kind of like, as if, again, we're doing a law favor or a law, you know, are you paying attention, I did this and that and patting ourselves on the back and all that, but Subhanallah like how, how she viewed it so differently. And she she said that, like what she was doing was out of love what she was doing for her mother was because that's what she deserved. And that was the least she could do for her mother. And we think about that's her mother, right? And obviously, of all the people in the world who we owe, it's our mother. But let's think now at the level

00:25:00--> 00:25:43

Allah, if that's the mother and what the mother has given now imagine what Allah subhanaw taala has given, and what's the level that Allah subhanaw taala deserves? You know that, that so when we when we give to Allah subhanaw taala? Do we do it in the same way? Do we do it out of that? Same, you know that that idea of this is the least I can do, when Allah has given me, you know, just down to the ability to swallow my saliva so I don't choke, you know, and that's just, you know, that's, that's just one out of an infinite number of things. Allah subhanaw taala says, What Intel do Namah de la de la sua, which means that if you try to, to count the the Nam the blessings of Allah

00:25:43--> 00:26:22

subhanaw taala, you would never be able to count it, you would never be able to, to count all of them and keep track, you know, so So are we, you know, what is our attitude towards Allah? subhanaw taala? And do we worship Him in the same way where we think, you know, I'm doing it out of love and out of the fact that this is the least he deserves, you know, again, it's, it's a different mindset. And I think that Subhanallah there's a lot to learn from even the way in which we show gratitude to people. Because at the end of the day, you know, we'll say thank you, if someone gives you a piece of candy, right, you'll feel you might even feel really grateful, especially if it's a piece of gum

00:26:22--> 00:26:23

and you really need gum.

00:26:24--> 00:26:28

You're gonna be so you're like, You're a lifesaver, you know?

00:26:29--> 00:27:16

Yeah. And so that's like a piece of gum. And we're so grateful, like, thank you so much for giving me this piece of gum. And yet Allah subhanaw taala, showers, showers us with all of these blessings. And it's hard for us sometimes to even show gratitude or even to extract to even extract or feel gratitude for the things that Allah subhanaw taala gives us. So you know, inshallah, it's a reminder to myself and others that, you know, the, Allah subhanaw taala is always showering his blessings on us, Allah subhanaw taala has given us so much, and yet we only repay it with sins. And it's, it's, it's, it's amazing, because the irony of the whole situation is that Allah is a no need of us. And

00:27:16--> 00:27:58

yet he gives us and we are in desperate need of him. And yet we only send in an In response, you know, to these gifts, which we have from Allah subhanaw taala. So inshallah, what I want to do is actually, maybe leave a couple minutes to get your, I mean, I know every once upon a law has, you know, walks through the same path, everybody is walking along this path of life, and we all come across people in our lives, that have a profound effect on us, even if they come into our lives for a very short time and then leave, and even the process of leaving, sometimes also has its own lessons. So what I want to do, inshallah is take a really short break, and I want to hear from you

00:27:58--> 00:28:07

guys in the chat box. What are some of your experiences? What are some of the people in your lives who have really affected and had a deep effect on your life?

00:28:36--> 00:29:01

Salam Alaikum Yes, mean, Mujahid and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio. So right now, we are waiting to hear from you about your reflections. What are some of the people who are some of the people that have affected your life, even if they just you know, came into your life for a short time and, and then walked right through. And I think in the chat box, at least, I'm waiting for it to refresh to refresh.

00:29:03--> 00:29:40

Someone remembered the lecture, I just got the lecture that I was referring to, that I thought was pretty funny was when we the the the reference was basically that when we whenever we do even a small good deed, we're asked we're making sure a less planet that is paying attention. I think it was a I don't remember what it was no man and Kahn was talking I think it was like something like they had prayed fetchit or they did something they kind of looked up to the sky and said the law you know, like, are you paying attention? I just did this keep keep track. But Subhanallah it is a it is a bigger attitude that we have about that, you know, where we,

00:29:42--> 00:29:47

we, we we want we again The idea here is that

00:29:48--> 00:30:00

we were in this contractual relationship transactional relationship with Allah subhanaw taala where we think it's like, you know, we're paying for it, and then we're getting something in return, and it's a

00:30:00--> 00:30:25

It's a fair trade and it is not a fair trade less Jonathan it because of his generosity Allah makes this new this this trade with us where he says that he has purchased the souls you know of the the believers. And then in exchange he's given them Jenna. But but by no means is that a fair trade? That's because of Allah subhanaw taala has mercy and generosity, that he's willing to do that or that he does that with us. So

00:30:26--> 00:30:33

So some of the people, I'm, I'm still waiting on your comments and waiting on your reflections. So let's see.

00:30:36--> 00:30:40

So some of the people are saying it's, it's, yeah, okay, other than me.

00:30:42--> 00:30:52

So you, let's see Allah subhanaw taala. Give me You mean, honestly, when I met you, last year at Ignite your lecture with the sisters was the most impactful disciple, okay, and

00:30:53--> 00:31:34

some people say, let's see. So a lot of people are basically saying, so different different speakers, different public figures, who have had an hamdulillah May Allah bless, bless the, you know, the struggle that we have, and the people who have come into our lives and these people, you know, one thing I really want us to do, is to make to offer these people because these few Hindi speakers and these public figures, they really have to sacrifice a lot to do what they do. And it looks really sometimes, I guess, glamorous, but there's a lot, there's a there's a big price to pay, you know, for what they do. And so we we have we asked Allah subhanaw taala, to bless them and to

00:31:34--> 00:32:13

bless their families, and to protect them and to protect their families. It's it's a really difficult struggle, and we don't always see what it takes, you know, to sacrifice and the sacrifices that it does take for these people to give us what they give us. So May Allah May Allah preserve them and and reward them inshallah. So one person says that like eight years ago, I met this brother who changed my life and made me want to be a better person, and why I wanted to be like this better, I feel like there's a blessing to me. So, you know, this, what this person is sharing is, that's, you know, really something that we should keep in mind is that the effect that we can have, you

00:32:13--> 00:32:59

know, we talk about Tao, and we talk about calling people to the good and forbidding the evil. And a lot of times, we, we don't realize the, that the biggest effect we can have on people is just in making a connection with someone getting close to someone. And then once you have that connection with that person, the effect that you can have on them is so much deeper than someone who just comes up to you in the masjid and tells you not to wear nail polish, right? So the idea here is that it's sometimes the way in which we give no see how the way in which we give, the good advice is completely wrong, we do it. Usually, a lot of times we do it first of all, in public, it's it's sort

00:32:59--> 00:33:42

of a human in a humiliating way, which is completely wrong. That's not that's not the way in which you give no see how. And second, we sometimes just give it to random strangers. And, and I mean, there may be circumstances where that is effective, but most of the time, it's just taken in a defensive way. Because you have no relationship with that person. Sometimes it's a complete stranger who comes up to you at the masjid or at an ischemic event and, and tells you something, and you just kind of feel like really defensive or or insulted maybe by it. Whereas if it comes from someone who, you know, you say you really feel that this person cares about you, and you have a strong connection

00:33:42--> 00:34:00

and a bond with this person, say it's someone in your family or a friend. It's very different. Because sometimes the sense that we get I think, is the oldest person thinks they're better than me, right? This is sometimes this is the idea we have. And I think it's really important to totally

00:34:01--> 00:34:41

redefine the way we give. And I'll see how the way we even think about giving advice. And I the way that I think we need to think about it is just like you see somebody and say this person is blindfolded. Okay, they did, they don't see where they're going. But you are not blindfolded. And you see this person running towards the edge of a cliff. So what's going to happen? If you see someone running towards the edge of a cliff, and they have a blindfold on, they don't know that they're about to fall? What are you going to do? And in this scenario, if you have any care for this person, you're going to do whatever you can to stop them. But in what sense? Are you going to stop

00:34:41--> 00:35:00

them? Are you going to stop them? Because you're better than them and you don't have a blindfold and they do like that's not really the sensor you're going to have right? You're not going to be like, dude, like I'm better than you because I can see that you're falling off a cliff and you don't see it. So, so like just stop Okay, like that's not that that's not the way you're going.

00:35:00--> 00:35:15

be giving that mercy high. Instead, you're going to be like, dude, I love you. And I really care about you, and you're about to fall off a cliff. And I don't want that to happen. So you're going to be, you know, it's going to be out of a place of concern and not out of a place of arrogance and self righteousness.

00:35:16--> 00:35:18

So, some of your other comments.

00:35:19--> 00:36:01

Let's see. So one person says, My eldest son fractured his shaft bone when he was eight, and was on full cast for about three months, he was amazingly patient Subhanallah and I learned about patience from him. SubhanAllah never once during those three months, did he complain about his discomfort in the casts upon Allah, may Allah protect and bless him always Subhan Allah that is amazing. You know, that, that this, that this child as an eight year old, who was in that situation, and yet didn't complain, and this is again, a sign from Allah, that Allah subhanaw taala made him patient, whereas, you know, a lot of eight year olds, they can't be patient, like if they didn't get like a certain

00:36:01--> 00:36:42

video game, you know, so this and yet this, this child was able Subhan Allah by the grace of Allah to be patient, that he was stuck in a in the cast. So Subhan Allah again, you know, it just the help comes from Allah subhanaw taala and we ask Allah Spano Tata to protect us and our families and to and to always provide his his risk His provision, and know that Allah subhanaw taala His provision comes in the form in different forms. So sometimes a provision comes in the form of food, sometimes money, and sometimes it comes in the form of support in terms of in the form of patience. And sometimes if we're very, very blessed in the in the form of RDA, which has the highest level, and

00:36:42--> 00:36:49

that's contentment, where we actually feel content at the decision of Allah no matter what it is, and not only patient, but also content.

00:36:51--> 00:36:51

And

00:36:53--> 00:36:55

another person shared that

00:36:56--> 00:37:39

there's a brother in our community who has changed the way our whole community thinks, here in South Jersey, he taught us to actually love Allah subhanaw taala, and not just always to fear Him, and to keep a distance from him. We forgot that Allah subhanaw taala is a Roman as well, thank you for sharing that. That is, you know, this is actually I think one of the biggest mistakes that we make in how we teach our children growing up and just in general, how we teach about Islam in this way, which is so much about how ROM ROM Hellfire Hellfire and, and when we tell even when we're talking to children's, it's, it's amazing. You know, when you see how children are taught in Sunday school,

00:37:39--> 00:38:24

it's usually it's usually to fear Allah subhanaw taala that if you don't do this, you're gonna go to hell. And I feel like this this way. And this focus is very dangerous, because first of all, these children don't understand the full concept of Allah subhanaw taala yet, the first thing they should know about Allah subhanaw taala is not Hellfire, it is not his anger, it is what is greater than his wrath, as he himself said, it is His mercy. And Allah himself has said that my mercy supersedes my wrath, My Mercy is is greater than his wrath. So why are we teaching his wrath and not teaching his mercy I don't understand. It's it's worth we've completely, you know, we've we've changed the, the

00:38:24--> 00:39:04

order that Allah subhanaw taala himself gives that his his mercy is greater than his and he says rahmati was the Aquila Shea, that my mercy has encompassed every single thing. And this is what we need to do to attach the people, you know, children and to Allah subhanaw taala through love, because here's the amazing thing is when you grow up feeling like everything you do, like if you make a mistake, you're gonna go to hell, right? If you make a mistake, it I think that the problem with this, this is what what are you going to feel about if every day I come to you? And I say, you know, I mean, why is it that people start to hate police officers? You know, it's like, even though

00:39:04--> 00:39:34

police officers, you know, they're supposed to, like, be doing a good thing. But But the reason people hate police officers, or some people are scared of police officers, is because they they might see Oh, like if this person got punished by that police officer and this person, and so the cert you sort of want to just stay away from police, right? You see a police officer, I mean, I know I do. I'm driving, and I see a cop and it's like, I know he's gonna find something I'm doing. I'm gonna do something until you're kind of really uncomfortable. You're not going to go and be like, Hey, what's up and you want to sit and talk to the police officer, you just want to avoid the

00:39:34--> 00:39:59

police. Because everything you hear about the police is him punishing people him you know, finding people him jailing people you want to stay away. So this concept we put in our children about God, that you know, if you do this one thing wrong, you slip this or that, he's going to put you in hell. And so then children grow up and they're just sometimes they just don't want to have anything to do with religion, because they are the concept they have of Allah subhana wa tada is, so

00:40:00--> 00:40:43

cued, and there isn't, it isn't out of love that they are taught to, to worship him, but rather out of, you know, just stay away from this whole idea because if I mess up, I'm going to help. So So Pamela, you know, even the concept of fear. And I wanted to share this example, because I think it's such a perfect example. You know, that that the example of how we should be with Allah subhanaw taala is like a bird, right, and the bird has two wings, and then it has a head. So the head of the bird is love of Allah subhanaw taala. And this is the example it's either in the Tamia original claim, who give us this example, Rama de la la home, that the love should be the head of the bird.

00:40:43--> 00:41:25

And that's what drives the bird, that what should be driving our actions, what should be driving our life is this love of Allah subhanaw taala. And that the two wings, which needs to balance the bird, on one hand, is the fear of Allah subhanaw taala the fear of his punishment, the fear of his wrath. And on the other hand, the other wing of the bird is hope, in Allah subhanaw taala. And if you look at this analogy, it really is, it's so perfect, because what happens if one of the wings of a bird is too weak, then the bird can't fly properly, and then that bird becomes susceptible to being shot down. It's not stable. So if we have too much hope in Allah subhanaw taala and not enough fear, then

00:41:25--> 00:42:04

this is a situation where we think we can do whatever we want. And you know, we're not actually striving because we have to we have our hope is overpowering the fear. Similarly, if we have too much fear of Allah subhanaw taala and not enough hope, this is also a situation where you end up unstable because you think that, you know, you're so afraid, and you think sometimes even people will say, will lose, lose hope, because they're so afraid. They think that, oh, I've committed too many sins. So there's no there's no hope in me even trying. And so that bird also can't fly properly. So you have to have the two, you know that the hope and the fear need to be balanced.

00:42:04--> 00:42:44

We're told by the prophets lie Selim that there are some people who they might spend their whole lives doing the action of the actions of the people of paradise. And, and as soon as they're so close to paradise, just an arm's length away from Paradise. They do something from the action of the people of Hellfire, and so they enter it. And on the other hand, there could be someone who spends their whole life doing the actions of the people of Hellfire until there's an arm's length away between them and hellfire. And then they do the action of the people of paradise. And so the enter it, the idea is here, we should never, we should never lose hope, because we can always Alyssa, I

00:42:44--> 00:43:26

know that his door is always open so long as we're still alive and we're still breathing. And and at the same time, we should also never get so comfortable. Because at the last moment, you know, last panel data is the one who has the hearts in his hand. And and we know we don't know what will happen at the last moment, we should never be you know, think that we're okay, because even the greatest people amado Dillon has a famous statement that if everybody except one person were told everybody except one person was going to enter Hellfire, he was going if only one person was going to be saved from Hellfire, he would hope that it was him. And similarly, if only one person was going to be was

00:43:26--> 00:43:51

going to enter agenda, or rather was going to enter jahannam he would fear that it was him. So he had both the fear and the hope. And abubaker would say it or the line that even if he had one foot in genda, he would still worry that that he wouldn't enter it. So there was you know, still that that concept of of love, of hope and fear, even in these greatest examples. inshallah, I'm going to take one more.

00:43:54--> 00:44:33

It's so common for parents who themselves are ignorant about their own faith to resort to scare mongering like that, because they can't be bothered to rash rationally, logically and lovingly explain the beauty of God's religion to their child in and it is, I think that sometimes it isn't like parents are doing it on purpose, but sometimes parents are teaching what they were taught. And what we have to do is we have to stop the cycle we have to come back to I think the correct you know, the, the correct balance of our relationship with Allah subhanaw taala which needs to be driven by love and balanced with hope and fear and inshallah, you know, convey that to our children.

00:44:33--> 00:45:00

Because if you think in the in the example, we gave about the police Now think about telling your child every single day, imagine telling your child every day, okay, here's a gift and this gift is from your grandmother. And then the next day, here's a new gift and this gift is from your grandmother, and then another day and every single day of this child's life. He gets a new gift and you tell that child that this gift is from your grandmother, what's going to happen inside the heart of that child for

00:45:00--> 00:45:40

His grandmother, what's going to happen is he's going to love that grandmother, even if he never saw that grandmother, but you tell them every single day that this gift is from your grandmother, then that child is going to love his grandmother, even without seeing her even without meeting her. That attachment is going to be built. And if we tell our children we teach our children, everything you have is from Allah subhanaw taala. And the reason Allah subhanaw taala has given you these things is because he loves you and And should you not love them Allah subhanaw taala you know, you can teach your children in this way to love Allah subhanaw taala and when that love is there, I think and I

00:45:40--> 00:46:04

hope and we pray that no matter what path this child takes, as they grow up, that they'll always have that somewhere underneath, and inshallah at some point we'll come back to it even if they stray this way or that way. Holy, Holy Heather was stuck for a da da da da, Rahim. subhanak Hello, Edwin that Illa Illa. And that's Dr. Kona to bow Lake wa salam o Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh