Yasir Qadhi – Gender Wars The Truth

Yasir Qadhi
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the ongoing struggles of men and women in public and private society, including the rise of panromanticism and anti-fascist behavior. They emphasize the need to stop reading and expect the paradigm to be valid. The speakers also address the complex issues facing the nation, including problems between men and women, divorce, and marriages. They stress the importance of history and the sun wakes, and provide examples of the differences between men and women. The speakers also remind parents to not cancel marriage and prioritize love, and to not misunderstand the idea of pthing. They emphasize the need to educate parents and watch the news, and to be open to dialogue and communication to support their desire.
AI: Transcript ©
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Alhamdulillah,

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All praise is due to Allah subhanahu wa

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ta'ala.

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We praise Him, and we seek His help.

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And we seek refuge in Allah from the

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evil of our souls and the consequences of

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our actions.

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Whomever Allah guides, none can misguide.

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And whoever is misguided cannot be guided except

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with Him.

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I bear witness and I testify that there

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is no God other than Allah, jala jalalahu.

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And I bear witness and I testify

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that the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasalam

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is the final Prophet and the most perfect

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worshipper of Allah.

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As to what follows,

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know all Muslims that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

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has commanded us to be conscious of him

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in the Quran

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when he says,

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Dear Muslims,

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one of the most

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sensitive

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and difficult topics of our generation,

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and a topic that our whole society,

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and the current world, and even our particular

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demographics of the Muslim Ummah

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is constantly struggling with

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is the reality

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of the tensions

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between our men and our women, our brothers

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and our sisters,

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the reality of the so called gender wars

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going on.

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And these wars reflect

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the cultural changes

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or shifts that have taken place over the

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last century,

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which has completely

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changed the role of men and women in

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public society, and the role of husbands and

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wives, and fathers and mothers in private society.

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All of these changes

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have reflected

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on what exactly does it mean to be

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an ideal father, ideal mother, ideal husband, ideal

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wife. What exactly is the role of a

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man and a woman in public and private

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society?

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And we see now,

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especially in the last few years,

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the rise of so many different trends and

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movements

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at odds with one another. We have men's

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rights activism.

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We have the red pill movement.

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We have, of course, feminism.

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We have anti feminism.

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And this increased polarization

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between the two genders

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also reflects a generational divide.

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Generally speaking,

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our youngsters, college level and that age, have

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very different views than our elders, and so

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parents are discussing with their own children. Maybe

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even in the same household,

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the parents are trying to explain to their

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own youngsters the reality, and they find a

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generational divide, and they also find a gender

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divide. Perhaps even in the same family, your

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sons are talking one way, and your own

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daughters are speaking in a completely different way.

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And this all demonstrates,

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this divide

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is something that we need to talk about

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in a mature manner. Tensions are extremely high,

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and unfortunately

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levels of emotionalism

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compounded with this reality of cancel culture. If

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anybody says one thing I disagree with, he

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needs to be lambasted and canceled. Unfortunately,

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it has run completely berserk. But I remind

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myself and you that problems cannot be solved

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with emotions,

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and problems cannot be solved with slogans.

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We are dealing with a very complex issue,

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and even 1 khutba can only begin discussion.

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How much can I say in 20 or

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30 minutes when in reality this requires many,

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many hours of discussion?

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But still I say,

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at least the conversation needs to begin.

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And the premise that I appeal to both

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genders

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is

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stop reading in and expecting your paradigm to

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be validated.

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We have a massive problem

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when we can't even have a civil discussion.

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Men are tense and women are tense. Each

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one wants to hear which side will the

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speaker take. If the speaker says something that

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seems to validate the men's paradigm, they say,

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yes. Look. This is what I've been saying.

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And the women label the speaker, oh, he's

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a misogynist,

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he's an anti feminist, he doesn't care about

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women. And if the man speaker, in this

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case the male speaker, says something about women's

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rights, immediately men label this person, oh, he's

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a sellout. Oh, he's appeasing the women. Oh,

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he's a soft feminist.

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Brothers and sisters,

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enough with the labels.

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Enough with simplistic

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emotionalism.

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We are dealing with very complex issues,

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issues that are dividing the ummah. Are we

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blind to the reality taking place? Ask any

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person who is involved in the community, the

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number of marriages breaking, the number of divorces

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happening,

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ask anybody of the problems within our own

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community that we wanna put under the rug

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and not talk about. Every single leader across

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this country

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is painfully aware

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that our communities

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are suffering

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because men and women cannot communicate with one

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another, because they're not on the same wavelength

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when it comes to marriages.

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Families are being broken,

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and children are being deprived of 2 parents.

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There's so many issues taking place in the

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courts, between the husband and wife, between child

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custody,

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and even worse than this,

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our youngsters, the next generation,

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is genuinely

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scared to get married. They're traumatized because they

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see what is happening in the generation above

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them. We have now a new generation of

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20 year olds. They don't want to get

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married for a period of time. Why? Because

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they have seen what has happened in the

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generation before them. O Muslims,

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enough with emotionalism.

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Stop worrying about who's right and wrong, and

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I will tell you bluntly,

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both genders are at fault here.

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Both genders have contributed to the problem here.

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When both genders don't understand, they are a

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part of the solution. When both genders wanna

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get a scot free pass, oh, the problems

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are only coming from the other side. No.

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I'm sorry. That's not the way it works

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here. Each one of the genders has fed

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in to the stereotypes of the other. And

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had it not been for this reality,

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this vicious loop, this reality that sometimes

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some men are acting in ways that are

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not appropriate,

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some men are acting in matters of dhul,

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injustice towards women, and this provokes those women

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to embrace aspects that are against our religion,

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aspects of feminism, going to court when they

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don't need to go to court, because they

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say you aren't solving the problem, so we

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have to go here. So they go to

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that extreme. When they go to that extreme,

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other men see that extreme, and they become

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even more alpha male. They become even more

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embracing of a harsh version of masculinity.

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I say bluntly,

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each of the 2 genders is feeding into

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the other. Neither one is totally innocent. And

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unless and until we understand this reality,

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and before we begin to point fingers, let's

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look in the mirror. Before we begin to

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worry about the other side, ask ourselves, what

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have I done to contribute to the problem,

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and what can I do to contribute to

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the solution? So today, insha'Allah,

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is the beginning of a number of khutbas.

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This isn't the only khutba gonna be given

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on this topic. Today I want to begin

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by raising 3 simple facts, raising the course

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of the dialogue.

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And I state that my goal here is

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not to appease any one of the 2

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genders. Wallahi, this is a topic. No matter

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who says what, they will get canceled.

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No matter what I say, one group will

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cancel me for something, the other group will

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cancel me for another. So I say, I

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do not care about the criticism of the

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critic. I only fear the criticism of the

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Lord, Insha'Allah hu ta'ala. What I speak today

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will be from the heart. It doesn't concern

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me what other groups are gonna say, Even

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though I'm fully aware the reality of the

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world we live in, this khutba will be

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dissected.

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Every 5 seconds will be put on other

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websites and other broadcast, and I will be

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canceled by both sides, and all sides, and

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neither sides. So be it. We have to

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speak the truth, regardless of the criticism of

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the critic. The first point I want to

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mention, all Muslims,

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we take our morality,

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our ethics, our laws from

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Allah

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and not from the culture around us.

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We take our ethics, our values, our laws

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from the Quran, from the sunnah. Allah revealed

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to us a book, and Allah sent us

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a Prophet in order to guide us. And

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so culture comes secondary, tertiary.

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Culture is not the primary source of law

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and understanding.

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Culture is a secondary source. Yes. We know

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this.

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Culture comes in where the Sharia is silent.

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But the Sharia, the Quran, the Sunnah, this

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is our primary lens. Everything else is secondary.

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And therefore,

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before

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anybody begins to speak about this subject, O

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Muslim, if you believe in Allah, do not

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begin to speak about this subject based upon

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the common culture.

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First thing, go back to the Quran, go

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back to the sunnah, go back to our

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shari'ah, and then understand

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what is our religion stance on these issues

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before you jump into the modern culture wars

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that are taking place. And from our religion,

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much can be said here. The most obvious

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is that Allah has

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categorically

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divided mankind into the 2 genders of male

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and female. Allah

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mentions in the Quran,

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Allah created the male and the female. Allah

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says,

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From man

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The male is not like the female. This

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is a verse in the Quran, the male

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is not like the female. We don't need

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the Quran actually for this regard. Biology teaches

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us this, but unfortunately,

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biology is being questioned, and we're being told

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male and female are the same, and male

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and female is an identity,

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it doesn't matter what they say. So we

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will bring in the Quran, and we will

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bring in biology, and we'll bring in every

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single facet of life to say to us

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that, yes, there are fundamental

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differences between men and women. Biological differences,

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physiological

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differences,

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hormonal differences, intellectual differences,

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differences,

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emotional differences.

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At every single level of existence,

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the man and the woman are different, and

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every single study, and every single survey shows

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this, and there's nothing wrong with this. Allah

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created the 2 genders differently.

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And because he created the 2 genders differently,

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it is not surprising

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that Allah

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gave the 2 of them different responsibilities.

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Obviously,

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when they are different at every level, down

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to the DNA, you can take a blood

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sample and you can see whether it is

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male or female. You can extract from the

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dead bones of a body buried, and you

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can tell whether this is male or female.

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Down to the bone, down to the DNA,

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there are differences. When there are differences at

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that level, you don't think they're gonna be

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manifested in the real level? They're not gonna

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be manifested in society, in culture, in family?

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Of course it will be. So when men

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and women are created differently,

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understandably,

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their roles,

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their functions, their rights, their responsibilities

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are also different. But the Quran and sunnah

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has never ever claimed that one is better

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than the other. No. They're different, and differences

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should be respected and

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embraced. There is no competition. The both of

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them are equally noble. The both of them

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are equally human. The both of them have

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equally been created to worship Allah and to

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enter Jannah. Neither of the 2 is more

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noble than the other. And this is the

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explicit testimony of the Quran and the sunnah.

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Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala mentions,

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when our mothers came to the prophet sallallahu

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alaihi wa sallam saying, You Rasulullah,

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why doesn't Allah mention women more in the

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Quran? Haven't we also migrated? Haven't we also

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sacrificed? Haven't we also lost loved ones? And

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so Allah revealed in the Quran,

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Allah says, I have responded to this, and

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I will say,

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Allah will not cause the good deeds of

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any of you to go to waste, male

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or female.

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The 2 of you are from each other.

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The 2 of you are from each other,

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meaning every male comes from a male and

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female, and every female comes from a male

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and female.

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So any good deed a man does, and

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any good deed a woman does, they shall

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get the equal rewards if all other factors

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are the same.

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Gender does not privilege in the eyes of

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Allah.

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That is the ultimate equality. So this is

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the first point that we learn from the

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Sharia. Not surprisingly, therefore, men and women do

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have general different roles. There's no surprise here,

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when Allah created them biologically different, emotionally different,

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hormonally different, physiologically

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different, then don't be surprised when there are

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default roles.

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And these default roles, without a doubt, are

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better suited to how Allah created us. So

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the male, generally speaking, has the role of

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protection,

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of maintenance.

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The male has, generally speaking, the the duty

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of maintaining,

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the Arabic word is qiwaama, of being responsible.

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And the woman, the general default role is

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to be nurturing,

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is to be loving, is to be a

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homemaker.

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This is the reality

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of the Quran, and the sunnah, and of

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lived human history.

00:17:00 --> 00:17:03

Anybody can be an engineer or doctor, male

00:17:03 --> 00:17:06

or female. Anybody can be a CEO, male

00:17:06 --> 00:17:06

or female.

00:17:07 --> 00:17:09

But only a woman can bring life into

00:17:09 --> 00:17:12

this world, and nurture and love that life

00:17:12 --> 00:17:14

with a love that only the mother has.

00:17:14 --> 00:17:15

There is no competition.

00:17:16 --> 00:17:19

Women have been created to be nurturing. Women

00:17:19 --> 00:17:21

have been created that Allah has allowed them

00:17:21 --> 00:17:24

to bring life into this world. What more

00:17:24 --> 00:17:26

nobility can you want than this? And I

00:17:26 --> 00:17:29

say that one of the biggest criticisms I

00:17:29 --> 00:17:31

have of feminism, and of 3rd and 4th

00:17:31 --> 00:17:34

wave feminism, one of the biggest criticism I

00:17:34 --> 00:17:36

I have is that they have made the

00:17:36 --> 00:17:37

notion of a homemaker

00:17:38 --> 00:17:41

and a housewife to be something demeaning, to

00:17:41 --> 00:17:43

be something looked down upon. There is nothing

00:17:43 --> 00:17:46

more noble than giving birth and taking care

00:17:46 --> 00:17:48

of that child. What can possibly be more

00:17:48 --> 00:17:51

noble than bringing another life into this world

00:17:51 --> 00:17:53

by Allah's permission? We men have no competition

00:17:54 --> 00:17:55

in that regard, but unfortunately,

00:17:56 --> 00:17:58

what feminism has done is the very notion

00:17:58 --> 00:18:01

of a woman being a homemaker, of woman

00:18:01 --> 00:18:03

being feminine, it is looked down upon as

00:18:03 --> 00:18:06

if she's not reached her full potential.

00:18:06 --> 00:18:09

What greater potential is there than to give

00:18:09 --> 00:18:12

birth and to nurture this child that you

00:18:12 --> 00:18:14

have given birth to? And so, without a

00:18:14 --> 00:18:17

doubt, the sharia has come with ideals, and

00:18:17 --> 00:18:19

these are the ideals.

00:18:19 --> 00:18:21

However, move on to the next point here,

00:18:21 --> 00:18:23

and this is where it gets a little

00:18:23 --> 00:18:23

bit confusing.

00:18:24 --> 00:18:27

While there are ideal roles, that, yes, the

00:18:27 --> 00:18:30

man generally is the provider, is the maintainer,

00:18:30 --> 00:18:33

is the protector, and the woman generally is

00:18:33 --> 00:18:36

the nurturer, these are general roles, but here

00:18:36 --> 00:18:38

is where it gets awkward.

00:18:38 --> 00:18:39

1st and foremost,

00:18:40 --> 00:18:40

the Sharia,

00:18:41 --> 00:18:43

because it means to be applied across the

00:18:43 --> 00:18:46

world, for all times and places,

00:18:46 --> 00:18:49

did not bring a long list of chores,

00:18:49 --> 00:18:50

of specifics.

00:18:51 --> 00:18:54

The sharia did not come with very minute

00:18:54 --> 00:18:56

details about what does it mean that man

00:18:56 --> 00:18:58

is quiwama? What does it mean that man

00:18:58 --> 00:18:59

is responsible

00:18:59 --> 00:19:02

for the maintenance and woman is responsible for

00:19:02 --> 00:19:02

the nurturing?

00:19:03 --> 00:19:05

Allah didn't reveal the details. Why?

00:19:05 --> 00:19:09

Because these details will change from time to

00:19:09 --> 00:19:11

culture, to place, to society.

00:19:11 --> 00:19:14

Therefore, there is an element of openness in

00:19:14 --> 00:19:17

this regard that we can change and adapt

00:19:17 --> 00:19:20

to, And this is where in this ambiguity,

00:19:20 --> 00:19:22

a lot of confusion arises. If you look

00:19:22 --> 00:19:25

online, one of the biggest debates that modern

00:19:25 --> 00:19:27

couples have, who's gonna cook the meals? Who's

00:19:27 --> 00:19:29

gonna do the chores? Who's gonna take the

00:19:29 --> 00:19:31

trash out? I have to tell you, Allah

00:19:31 --> 00:19:34

didn't reveal Quranic verses about this. And the

00:19:34 --> 00:19:37

sharia has come open ended. You will find

00:19:37 --> 00:19:40

scholars in some generations, in some societies saying,

00:19:40 --> 00:19:43

the average class, middle class family, the husband

00:19:43 --> 00:19:45

has to bring a servant for the wife.

00:19:45 --> 00:19:48

But you know, in America, we cannot afford

00:19:48 --> 00:19:51

servants, that's not the reality. Whereas in other

00:19:51 --> 00:19:53

societies, middle class can't afford servants. And so

00:19:53 --> 00:19:56

in that society, you have a famous scholar

00:19:56 --> 00:19:58

in 7th century, you know, Damascus, he has

00:19:58 --> 00:20:00

a famous fatwa, you find it online, that

00:20:00 --> 00:20:03

the average household, the woman is not obligated

00:20:03 --> 00:20:05

to cook, and the husband has to provide

00:20:05 --> 00:20:08

a a a a help to come and

00:20:08 --> 00:20:10

cook. That's fine for that society. But in

00:20:10 --> 00:20:13

the lands we live in, we cannot afford

00:20:13 --> 00:20:15

for the average person. So then who will

00:20:15 --> 00:20:17

do the cooking? Who will do the maintenance

00:20:17 --> 00:20:19

of the household? The sharia has left it

00:20:19 --> 00:20:22

for the couples to decide. You cannot quote

00:20:22 --> 00:20:25

one fatwa from a 7th century scholar. Another

00:20:25 --> 00:20:26

scholar said, it is not allowed for the

00:20:26 --> 00:20:28

husband to demand cooking from his wife. You

00:20:28 --> 00:20:31

will find diversity here. Right? No one fatwa

00:20:32 --> 00:20:33

from a scholar of the past will be

00:20:33 --> 00:20:37

applicable to modern America, requires a different understanding

00:20:37 --> 00:20:39

of the times of the places, and the

00:20:39 --> 00:20:41

Sharia did not come with specifics.

00:20:41 --> 00:20:44

Let every couple decide. Let every couple come

00:20:44 --> 00:20:47

together and say, it's it's a varied reality.

00:20:47 --> 00:20:49

Sometimes the woman cannot because she's working, because

00:20:49 --> 00:20:52

whatever. In this case, it's the situation might

00:20:52 --> 00:20:54

change. Another reality

00:20:54 --> 00:20:55

is that

00:20:55 --> 00:20:58

not only does the Sharia allow for this,

00:20:58 --> 00:21:01

but in fact, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and

00:21:01 --> 00:21:04

the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam has explicitly

00:21:05 --> 00:21:05

endorsed

00:21:06 --> 00:21:06

cultural

00:21:06 --> 00:21:07

relativity.

00:21:07 --> 00:21:10

And this is demonstrated in many instances, even

00:21:10 --> 00:21:12

in the seerah. One of the most interesting,

00:21:12 --> 00:21:14

and it raises, you know, some humor as

00:21:14 --> 00:21:17

well when we mention the story, but apart

00:21:17 --> 00:21:18

from the humor, one needs to be serious

00:21:18 --> 00:21:21

in this regard, that Umar ibn Khattab radhiallahu

00:21:21 --> 00:21:23

an, he was accustomed to a certain type

00:21:23 --> 00:21:26

of interaction with the women of Makkah, that

00:21:26 --> 00:21:28

the women were more docile, the women were

00:21:28 --> 00:21:31

more quiet. And when they migrated to Madinah,

00:21:31 --> 00:21:33

then his wife became more

00:21:33 --> 00:21:37

responding, more rebuking, more standing up, and responding

00:21:37 --> 00:21:39

back to Abu al Khattar radiAllahu An. And

00:21:39 --> 00:21:41

so he complained to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi

00:21:41 --> 00:21:42

Wasallam, You Rasulullah,

00:21:42 --> 00:21:44

don't you miss the days in Makkah when

00:21:44 --> 00:21:46

our women were quiet, and they didn't respond

00:21:46 --> 00:21:48

back to us? Now we've come to Madinah,

00:21:48 --> 00:21:51

these Ansari ladies have corrupted, he said, they've

00:21:51 --> 00:21:53

corrupted our women. Right? Now, yes, we find

00:21:53 --> 00:21:55

the brothers find this a bit humorous. I

00:21:55 --> 00:21:57

get this point here. But here's the more

00:21:57 --> 00:22:00

serious point, the more serious point. Who's right,

00:22:01 --> 00:22:02

Mecca or Madinah?

00:22:02 --> 00:22:04

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam did not

00:22:04 --> 00:22:05

take sides here.

00:22:05 --> 00:22:07

This requires a bit of maturity,

00:22:08 --> 00:22:09

anthropology,

00:22:09 --> 00:22:09

sociology,

00:22:10 --> 00:22:11

cultural differences.

00:22:12 --> 00:22:15

Makkah was more, if you like, rough. Madinah

00:22:15 --> 00:22:17

was more urban and cultivated.

00:22:18 --> 00:22:20

And the general rule, listen to me carefully,

00:22:20 --> 00:22:22

when societies are more cultivated,

00:22:23 --> 00:22:26

when there's more civic, you know, safety, when

00:22:26 --> 00:22:27

there's more amenities,

00:22:27 --> 00:22:30

gender roles will change. Gender roles will change.

00:22:30 --> 00:22:33

And when society is more rough, when you

00:22:33 --> 00:22:36

have to protect, when there's war going on,

00:22:36 --> 00:22:39

all feminism will be forgotten when wars come

00:22:39 --> 00:22:41

back here, because men will have to protect

00:22:41 --> 00:22:43

women. But there's nothing wrong with this.

00:22:44 --> 00:22:45

Societies change.

00:22:46 --> 00:22:48

And in the current society we live in,

00:22:48 --> 00:22:49

with technology,

00:22:49 --> 00:22:52

with the advancement of all of the amenities

00:22:52 --> 00:22:54

that we have, with the safety and whatnot,

00:22:55 --> 00:22:56

don't be surprised

00:22:56 --> 00:22:58

men and women's roles change. And it's not

00:22:58 --> 00:23:02

even if Makkah and Madinah had different understandings

00:23:02 --> 00:23:04

of how a wife should treat her husband,

00:23:05 --> 00:23:06

And this is in the same time, in

00:23:06 --> 00:23:09

the same land. What do you think about

00:23:09 --> 00:23:10

America in 2024?

00:23:11 --> 00:23:12

So brothers in particular,

00:23:13 --> 00:23:16

be broad minded and understand that sharia

00:23:16 --> 00:23:19

allows for a fine tuning. And I speak

00:23:19 --> 00:23:21

bluntly to the young brothers here. Don't imagine

00:23:22 --> 00:23:24

that your understanding of how to treat a

00:23:24 --> 00:23:27

woman, which is based upon some abstract theory,

00:23:27 --> 00:23:29

is going to be the real understanding.

00:23:29 --> 00:23:32

We find this rise of this this harsh,

00:23:32 --> 00:23:33

machoistic

00:23:33 --> 00:23:35

culture. I find it terrifying,

00:23:36 --> 00:23:38

the appeal of certain Internet personalities,

00:23:38 --> 00:23:41

the appeal of this version of harsh masculinity.

00:23:41 --> 00:23:44

Oh brothers, allow me to be blunt, you

00:23:44 --> 00:23:46

can't even enforce this version in your own

00:23:46 --> 00:23:49

mother and sister, and they're related to you.

00:23:49 --> 00:23:50

Do you think you will enforce it on

00:23:50 --> 00:23:53

your future wife? Wallahi, it's not gonna happen.

00:23:53 --> 00:23:55

And wait till you have daughters. Just wait

00:23:55 --> 00:23:57

till you have a 19 year old daughter

00:23:57 --> 00:23:59

wanting to argue with you over your understanding

00:23:59 --> 00:24:01

of how men and women should live. Wallahi,

00:24:01 --> 00:24:03

o brothers, if you maintain

00:24:03 --> 00:24:05

this narrow minded understanding

00:24:05 --> 00:24:07

of the way to be a true man

00:24:07 --> 00:24:10

is just to be harsh, to not understand

00:24:10 --> 00:24:13

prophetic mercy, to not understand women are equal

00:24:13 --> 00:24:16

creatures, equal human beings, equal nobility.

00:24:17 --> 00:24:19

If you think Islam teaches you just to

00:24:19 --> 00:24:20

be machoistic,

00:24:20 --> 00:24:23

then I'm sorry, you haven't understood Islam, and

00:24:23 --> 00:24:26

you haven't understood biology. This is not how

00:24:26 --> 00:24:28

the world works here. But the same can

00:24:28 --> 00:24:30

be said of our sisters as well. Oh

00:24:30 --> 00:24:31

sisters, understand

00:24:32 --> 00:24:35

that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala blessed you with

00:24:35 --> 00:24:37

privileges He didn't give our brothers. And of

00:24:37 --> 00:24:38

those privileges

00:24:39 --> 00:24:41

is your femininity and your compassion. Of the

00:24:41 --> 00:24:44

blessings Allah has given you, He's made you

00:24:44 --> 00:24:46

a woman, and what a woman brings to

00:24:46 --> 00:24:48

the table in marriage is not what a

00:24:48 --> 00:24:50

man brings. Again, allow me to be blunt

00:24:50 --> 00:24:53

here as somebody who has to deal with

00:24:53 --> 00:24:55

divorces every single day or second day in

00:24:55 --> 00:24:58

our community. Even yesterday, a major issue happened,

00:24:58 --> 00:24:59

and I had to deal with a family

00:24:59 --> 00:25:01

involved. Somebody that has to deal with the

00:25:01 --> 00:25:02

level of

00:25:02 --> 00:25:04

unmarried sisters. We have a crisis.

00:25:05 --> 00:25:07

How many women are not married? How many

00:25:07 --> 00:25:09

of our qualified women, they're in their thirties,

00:25:09 --> 00:25:12

forties, and they've never got married, and they're

00:25:12 --> 00:25:14

saying, where are all the men here? Sisters,

00:25:14 --> 00:25:16

allow me to be blunt, and I know

00:25:16 --> 00:25:18

this is so politically incorrect. I'm gonna get

00:25:18 --> 00:25:20

canceled a 100 times over. May Allah protect

00:25:20 --> 00:25:21

me.

00:25:21 --> 00:25:22

Allah created

00:25:23 --> 00:25:25

you as a woman. And what a man

00:25:25 --> 00:25:28

wants as a woman is not her degrees

00:25:28 --> 00:25:30

or her education. I'm not saying not to

00:25:30 --> 00:25:33

get educated, don't misunderstand me. But when a

00:25:33 --> 00:25:34

man wants to get married,

00:25:34 --> 00:25:37

he's not looking for a partner in his

00:25:37 --> 00:25:37

company.

00:25:37 --> 00:25:39

He's not looking for a partner in the

00:25:39 --> 00:25:40

business.

00:25:40 --> 00:25:41

He wants a woman,

00:25:42 --> 00:25:44

and a woman, a mother to his children.

00:25:44 --> 00:25:47

He wants somebody that's a life partner. That's

00:25:47 --> 00:25:50

what he's looking for. Please don't misunderstand me.

00:25:50 --> 00:25:51

I'm not saying, of course, you should be

00:25:51 --> 00:25:54

educated. No problem. You should have a degree.

00:25:54 --> 00:25:56

Yes, indeed. Allah blessed me with sons and

00:25:56 --> 00:25:58

daughters. All of them are getting top notch

00:25:58 --> 00:26:00

degrees right now. All of them are getting

00:26:00 --> 00:26:03

educated. But I'm saying, you have to understand,

00:26:03 --> 00:26:06

dear sisters, that your value in the eyes

00:26:06 --> 00:26:08

of Allah is not related to your degree.

00:26:09 --> 00:26:10

It's not related to what you bring to

00:26:10 --> 00:26:12

the table. It is related to your piety,

00:26:12 --> 00:26:14

and then your akhlaq.

00:26:14 --> 00:26:16

Your akhlaq is what a brother will be

00:26:16 --> 00:26:18

interested in. Your akhlaq, your femininity,

00:26:19 --> 00:26:21

your your inner beauty, this is what a

00:26:21 --> 00:26:24

brother wants to see. And my humble advice

00:26:24 --> 00:26:26

to you oh sisters, when you come of

00:26:26 --> 00:26:29

marriageable age, do not delay your marriage for

00:26:29 --> 00:26:31

the sake of the dunya. Do not delay

00:26:31 --> 00:26:33

your marriage for the sake of this dunya.

00:26:33 --> 00:26:36

When you get of marriageable age, then a

00:26:36 --> 00:26:37

good brother

00:26:37 --> 00:26:39

proposes, accept that. And this is a message

00:26:39 --> 00:26:41

to the parents as well. Talk to any

00:26:41 --> 00:26:43

of us seniors in the community.

00:26:43 --> 00:26:46

How many mothers and fathers come to us

00:26:46 --> 00:26:48

begging to find sutures for their daughters, and

00:26:48 --> 00:26:51

their daughters are super qualified. Their daughters have

00:26:51 --> 00:26:53

MDs and PhDs. Their daughters are great. But

00:26:53 --> 00:26:55

as we all know, and I'm not I'm

00:26:55 --> 00:26:57

sorry, but this is the blunt reality. There

00:26:57 --> 00:26:59

is a time opportunity

00:26:59 --> 00:27:01

in which women have the highest value, and

00:27:01 --> 00:27:03

if they let that time go by, I'm

00:27:03 --> 00:27:05

sorry to be blunt. Cancel me if you

00:27:05 --> 00:27:09

will. Your cancellation doesn't change biology, and it

00:27:09 --> 00:27:11

doesn't change the facts, and the facts are

00:27:11 --> 00:27:13

women of a certain age have the highest

00:27:13 --> 00:27:15

value when it comes to marriage and potentiality.

00:27:16 --> 00:27:18

And if you allow that age to go,

00:27:18 --> 00:27:20

well, we face a spinsterhood problem. We face

00:27:20 --> 00:27:21

this reality.

00:27:21 --> 00:27:23

Parents, listen to me carefully.

00:27:23 --> 00:27:26

Yes, educate your daughters, but make sure they

00:27:26 --> 00:27:28

have good husbands as well, and do not

00:27:29 --> 00:27:29

prioritize

00:27:30 --> 00:27:32

anything over a loving husband.

00:27:32 --> 00:27:35

The sisters of our times, wallahi, they want

00:27:35 --> 00:27:37

a loving family more than they want advanced

00:27:37 --> 00:27:39

degrees and education. And if you can do

00:27:39 --> 00:27:42

both, good for you, no problem. But without

00:27:42 --> 00:27:45

a doubt, priority is marriage, priority is children.

00:27:45 --> 00:27:47

For a woman to have a loving husband,

00:27:47 --> 00:27:49

for a woman to have a loving family

00:27:49 --> 00:27:51

and children, wallahi, this is the best blessing

00:27:51 --> 00:27:54

she can have after Islam. So do not

00:27:54 --> 00:27:57

delay marriage on either side. Oh Muslims, I

00:27:57 --> 00:27:59

conclude the first khutba by reminding all of

00:27:59 --> 00:28:01

us, and especially

00:28:01 --> 00:28:03

our youth, that do not think of this

00:28:03 --> 00:28:06

complex topic in simplistic terms. This is a

00:28:06 --> 00:28:09

very deep and profound topic. Do not think

00:28:09 --> 00:28:12

one slogan can solve all the problems.

00:28:12 --> 00:28:16

Remove these labels. Remove the cancel culture. Remove

00:28:16 --> 00:28:16

the emotionalism,

00:28:17 --> 00:28:19

and then speak to your elders.

00:28:19 --> 00:28:22

Young men, speak to your mothers and aunts

00:28:22 --> 00:28:25

and older cousins. Get the woman's perspective. Young

00:28:25 --> 00:28:27

women, speak to the elders in your community

00:28:27 --> 00:28:30

as well. Life teaches you what books will

00:28:30 --> 00:28:31

not teach you, and your grandmother

00:28:32 --> 00:28:34

has more wisdom than all of the internet

00:28:34 --> 00:28:37

celebrities combined, because your grandmother has lived life,

00:28:37 --> 00:28:40

and she has experience of real life, unlike

00:28:40 --> 00:28:42

all of the internet people who are giving

00:28:42 --> 00:28:45

you ideas that are absolutely incorrect. Listen to

00:28:45 --> 00:28:48

your elders, dialogue with those that have more

00:28:48 --> 00:28:50

knowledge than you, and understand the world is

00:28:50 --> 00:28:53

a very complex place. You're not gonna find

00:28:53 --> 00:28:56

simplistic answers to these complex problems. And most

00:28:56 --> 00:28:57

importantly,

00:28:57 --> 00:28:59

throughout all of this, raise your hands to

00:28:59 --> 00:29:01

Allah and ask Allah to guide you in

00:29:01 --> 00:29:04

this complex and difficult topic. Ask Allah Subhanahu

00:29:04 --> 00:29:06

Wa Ta'ala to bless you with wisdom and

00:29:06 --> 00:29:09

understanding. May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala bless each

00:29:09 --> 00:29:10

and every one of us within through the

00:29:10 --> 00:29:12

Quran, and may he make us of those

00:29:12 --> 00:29:14

who is verses they understand

00:29:14 --> 00:29:16

and applies halal and haram throughout our lifespan.

00:29:16 --> 00:29:18

Ask Allah's forgiveness. You as well ask him

00:29:18 --> 00:29:20

for his zaghafoor and the rahman.

00:29:31 --> 00:29:31

Alhamdulillah.

00:29:32 --> 00:29:34

All praise is due to Allah, the 1

00:29:34 --> 00:29:36

and the unique. He it is whom we

00:29:36 --> 00:29:37

worship, and it is His blessings that we

00:29:37 --> 00:29:39

seek. He is the Lord of the oppressed,

00:29:39 --> 00:29:41

and He hears the prayer of the weak.

00:29:41 --> 00:29:42

As to what follows,

00:29:43 --> 00:29:45

all Muslims, I go back to my first

00:29:45 --> 00:29:46

point here.

00:29:46 --> 00:29:49

Without a doubt, each of the genders has

00:29:49 --> 00:29:51

a long list of things that irritates them

00:29:51 --> 00:29:53

about the opposite gender, understandably.

00:29:54 --> 00:29:56

But the actual solution to the problem

00:29:57 --> 00:29:58

must begin with the acknowledgement

00:29:59 --> 00:30:01

that both of us are feeding into that

00:30:01 --> 00:30:02

negativity.

00:30:02 --> 00:30:06

Both genders, wallahi, o brothers, if every one

00:30:06 --> 00:30:08

of you acted in the prophetic manner, if

00:30:08 --> 00:30:10

every one of you acted like a true

00:30:10 --> 00:30:10

gentleman,

00:30:10 --> 00:30:13

if you truly embrace Islamic masculinity,

00:30:14 --> 00:30:16

the bulk of our sisters would not have

00:30:16 --> 00:30:18

to resort to their understandings of feminism. But

00:30:18 --> 00:30:21

because we have failed, and because divorce is

00:30:21 --> 00:30:24

rampant, and because abuse is rampant, and because

00:30:24 --> 00:30:26

zulum is rampant, and because there's so much

00:30:26 --> 00:30:27

harm,

00:30:27 --> 00:30:28

understandably,

00:30:28 --> 00:30:30

some of our sisters, many of our sisters

00:30:30 --> 00:30:33

have misunderstood their religion, and said and done

00:30:33 --> 00:30:35

things they should not do. When they do

00:30:35 --> 00:30:37

this, a new batch of youngsters sees that,

00:30:37 --> 00:30:39

and in order to respond to those sisters,

00:30:40 --> 00:30:42

they embrace a version of masculinity,

00:30:42 --> 00:30:45

the alpha male masculinity, the red pill masculinity,

00:30:46 --> 00:30:48

that they think will solve the problems.

00:30:48 --> 00:30:50

But both of these are feeding into each

00:30:50 --> 00:30:53

other, and neither will solve problems.

00:30:53 --> 00:30:56

O Muslims, O brothers, O sisters, O men

00:30:56 --> 00:30:59

and women, we are not enemies of each

00:30:59 --> 00:31:01

other. Half the world is the opposite gender.

00:31:02 --> 00:31:04

We need each other, we are together.

00:31:09 --> 00:31:11

Believing men, believing women, the 2 of them

00:31:11 --> 00:31:14

are supporters of each other. We are supporters,

00:31:15 --> 00:31:17

we are not enemies of one another. We're

00:31:17 --> 00:31:19

on the same team, and that is the

00:31:19 --> 00:31:21

team of marriage and the team of family.

00:31:21 --> 00:31:24

Understand this point. If you're going to dehumanize

00:31:24 --> 00:31:27

the other gender, if you're gonna constantly belittle,

00:31:27 --> 00:31:29

if you're gonna constantly, you know, try to

00:31:29 --> 00:31:30

make fun of them, what do you think

00:31:30 --> 00:31:33

is gonna happen? It doesn't work that way.

00:31:33 --> 00:31:35

Brothers and sisters, men and women, we are

00:31:35 --> 00:31:39

not competing against each other. We are, in

00:31:39 --> 00:31:41

fact, competing against ourselves.

00:31:41 --> 00:31:43

Each one of us, we are competing against

00:31:43 --> 00:31:45

ourselves to see who is best in the

00:31:45 --> 00:31:48

eyes of Allah. Oh Muslims, we need to

00:31:48 --> 00:31:50

turn to Allah for help, not turn against

00:31:50 --> 00:31:53

each other. And I say to women and

00:31:53 --> 00:31:56

to men, our ultimate value, our ultimate worth

00:31:56 --> 00:31:59

is not decided by our backgrounds,

00:31:59 --> 00:32:00

by our ethnicities,

00:32:01 --> 00:32:04

even by our gender that Allah has chosen

00:32:04 --> 00:32:06

for us. Our ultimate nobility

00:32:06 --> 00:32:09

is decided by our piety, and piety, oh

00:32:09 --> 00:32:12

Muslims, has no gender. Men and women can

00:32:12 --> 00:32:16

both be pious, and ultimate nobility comes through

00:32:16 --> 00:32:18

piety and only piety.

00:32:21 --> 00:32:22

O Muslims,

00:32:22 --> 00:32:26

turn to Allah, be pious, understand the Islamic

00:32:26 --> 00:32:29

understanding of gender, understand Islam has priority over

00:32:29 --> 00:32:32

culture, understand culture has a role to play,

00:32:32 --> 00:32:35

but only after Islam, and then most importantly,

00:32:36 --> 00:32:38

be open to learn, be open to dialogue,

00:32:38 --> 00:32:39

be open to communication,

00:32:40 --> 00:32:43

humble yourselves. You're only 19, 20, you don't

00:32:43 --> 00:32:46

know everything about this world, humble yourselves. You're

00:32:46 --> 00:32:48

not married yet, you don't understand marriage, so

00:32:48 --> 00:32:51

learn from those older than you. Speak to

00:32:51 --> 00:32:53

those that have traversed this path, and understand

00:32:53 --> 00:32:56

that your ultimate wisdom will come from Allah,

00:32:56 --> 00:32:58

and then from the elders of the community,

00:32:58 --> 00:33:01

and not from Internet personalities that might appear

00:33:01 --> 00:33:03

to give you some nuggets of wisdom, but

00:33:03 --> 00:33:06

that is couched in much evil. That's not

00:33:06 --> 00:33:08

where you learn from. Learn from the Quran,

00:33:08 --> 00:33:10

and learn from your elders in your community.

00:33:10 --> 00:33:12

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala guide us all

00:33:12 --> 00:33:13

to that which he loves.

00:34:42 --> 00:34:45

Assalamu alaykum. There will be a janazah after

00:34:45 --> 00:34:48

the salah, so please remain, for that janazah,

00:34:48 --> 00:34:50

brother Nasir Ali, inshaAllah. So please remain for

00:34:50 --> 00:34:51

that.

00:40:52 --> 00:40:54

If the brothers can make way inshallah for

00:40:54 --> 00:40:56

the janaza to come in.

00:41:01 --> 00:41:03

And the family members can also come to

00:41:03 --> 00:41:04

the front inshallah.

00:43:45 --> 00:43:47

The burial will be at Farmersville,

00:43:48 --> 00:43:50

and we were just notified that, route from

00:43:50 --> 00:43:51

78

00:43:51 --> 00:43:53

is closed. So you have to go from

00:43:53 --> 00:43:54

the other route. So when you go on

00:43:54 --> 00:43:56

the GPS, it gives you 2 route, pick

00:43:56 --> 00:43:59

up the 33 something. 75. Where the 3

00:43:59 --> 00:44:00

Yeah.

00:44:01 --> 00:44:05

75, then 380. 75, then 380. 308. 308.

00:44:05 --> 00:44:08

308. Because there's a construction, it will be

00:44:08 --> 00:44:09

closed till October.

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