Yasir Qadhi – Brothers Stop Commenting on Sister’s Attire!! – Ask Shaykh YQ #132

			So we see on social media like Tick Tock and Twitter, that Muslims, they can be immensely toxic in
people's comment sections. And they might just act as like haram police. And they'll be calling out
people's mistakes under the guise of advising. So for example, there'll be comments from brothers
about how a sister is not wearing Hijab properly, and other stuff of this nature. So how should we
deal with this as a Muslim community?
		

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			We're all aware of the toxic social culture that has been created. We're all aware that the internet
provides a level of anonymity. And also a false sense of bravado.
		

			People say online what they would never say in person. People say to others, and write comments on
other's posts, what they wouldn't even if it's in their name, there's some times people are hiding
behind an anonymous username, which is even worse, but even sometimes with their name, that they
might say something that they would never say, to the person's face. And we need to simply preach
against this and keep on telling people that if you are concerned about the mistakes of other people
more than you're concerned about your own mistakes, this is something that clearly indicates a
disease in your heart. If you concentrate on the mistakes of others more than your own mistakes,
		

			then realize that this is demonstrative of your own heart being full of disease. And I just in my
recent Facebook post was two days ago, I posted a Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam that
whoever considers everybody else to be misguided and deviated, he is the one who is the most
misguided. This is the Hadith of the Prophet. So Sarah, if you're thinking that everybody is wrong,
and everybody is off the path, that in fact, you are the one that is the most because you have a
level of arrogance. Now, there is a fine line between preaching the truth, and between and between
being a critic preaching the truth should be done generically. It should never be done specifically,
		

			okay? You don't call out somebody mistakes and say this is preaching the truth? No, it's a head
Ethan sahadi. Whenever the Prophet says and wanted to correct a mistake, he would say, Why do some
people do this? And he wouldn't mention by name, this is the Profit System. Also, you need to have
some authority. So if you're the president of the MSA, and there's a problem happening the MSA, then
yes, definitely, you need to save a generic statement. Why are some people doing this without
mentioning names. But if you're not a person who has the social cloud, and your statements can
easily be rejected or misinterpreted, then realize that it's not your job to be, you know, preaching
		

			and teaching, you have to see who you are, and the cloud that you have, with cloud comes
responsibility. If you don't have that cloud, well, then you don't have to speak out our Profit
System clearly said, Whoever sees an evil, try to change it with your hand if you can't with your
tongue, if you can't with your heart. Why did he say these three things why? Because not everybody
can change with the hand. If you are, you know, if you're the father and your son, or the bill, as
you know, Allah protect us, you know, your son or daughter is doing clear how you have to say,
You're not allowed to bring this substance, you're not allowed to do this. And you have to put your
		

			foot down for that. If you can get your brother, your sister, your cousin, then you speak the truth,
you cannot force your brother, you speak the truth, say, hey, you shouldn't be doing that. But if
it's a total stranger, and your statement is going to do nothing, well, then what are you going to
do, just don't like it in your heart. So generally speaking, follow this tripartite three level of
categorization. If you have authority and power over somebody, then yes, enforce it with your hand,
ie if it's your family, if you are close to somebody, but you don't have power over them. If it's
your brother, your sister, your cousin, you have a strong relationship with them your friend, and
		

			you see an evil, take them aside and advise them one on one not in public. Because remember, shaffir
famously remarked that whoever advises his brother in public, this is not advice. This is shaming
your brother, he remarked this right? Whoever advises in public, this isn't advice. This is shaming.
So do not advise in public, even if they post on Facebook, why do you have to post on Facebook? If
they posted a sin? Go to them in private? And say, if you are friends with them lie, you know,
whatever? The Why are you doing this in public a cover up your sins, so feel free to go to them on
an individual level and speak to them one on one, but you don't need to shame them, name them and
		

			shame them in public. And if you do not know them at all, then the best thing to do is to be silent
and to concentrate on your own mistakes and issues. And if you need to speak in complete generics
that, you know, why is this some people are backbiting or whatnot and the final point, brothers and
let me be especially harsh here because my gender allows me to do this here.
		

			Men, please, for the love of God, stop commenting on women's clothes. Simple as that. Just stop
talking about it. Unless it is your own sister, take her to the side and in private, no problem.
Your own daughter. Yes, no problem. But if it's somebody in the MSA, somebody on campus, somebody's
not related to you just zip it and let others do the Dawa. You are not the right person to be
preaching and teaching to young ladies, you are a young man, you're not the right person. Okay,
somebody will do it. We preach it, I preach it. I've given talks and lectures about how many women
should dress Okay, no problem. But you are not because of many factors that I want to get into.
		

			You're not the right person to be preaching and teaching. Just be quiet. And then the advice to the
senior sisters, that you know, if the brothers are going to be quiet, then the Sisters of the MSA do
need to take an active role and try their best to bring about a sense of how Yeah, and modesty and
teach and preach because indeed, if the brothers are not going to do it, somebody's got to do it.
And that person should be an elder sister of the community and brothers Mind your own business. You
have plenty of mistakes. We have plenty on our own site as well right? We have plenty of stuff we
can do. You should concentrate on the mistakes of your agenda for the time being because you have
		

			more social privilege in your own side of the of the aisle and a lot soldier knows best. Yeah.