Yaser Birjas – The True Power Of Patience
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the concept of power and how it is not just a response to physical pain, but also a need for strong and powerful presence. He gives examples of people pressured into being strong and powerful, leading to negative behavior and unnecessary anger. He emphasizes the importance of forgiveness and being decisive in retaliation, and warns of the power of control and quiet behavior. He also discusses the importance of forgiveness and being patient in unexpected events.
AI: Summary ©
So how many of you guys here can
claim and say they never get angry? Raise
your hand if you don't get angry.
Any angels?
So we all get angry. Right?
We all get angry.
Is that an expression of power?
When you get angry, is that an expression
of power? Like when it the more the
angrier you are, the more powerful you will
become. Right? Is that what it is?
That's a,
nonsense. It's a false
perception of power and energy, really, Annie. So
let's hear what the prophets how the prophet
defined the meaning of power over here.
Hadith number 45,
In this hadith, the messenger of Allah sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam said, the strong man is
not the 1 who is good at wrestling,
but the strong man is the 1 who
controls himself in a fit of rage.
Muslim.
Now how many
of us could say or would say
because of a fit of rage,
they lost control
and they said things they regret for the
rest of their lives.
They did things that they regret for the
rest of their lives.
Things happen that they wish they've never actually
did, or they wish that they had
more control of themselves and so on. Probably
all of us.
We're all guilty of that. You're human being
after all. Why so? Because being angry being
angry is a natural instinct.
As a matter of fact, it's a survival
instinct because when you get angry, it's more
like a self defense mechanism.
There's, something to protect. You're being overprotective
right now. So being angry in itself, there
is nothing wrong with it. As a matter
of fact, I'll give you permission to get
angry as much as you want.
Get angry as much as you want.
Because even the prophet, sallallahu alaihi wasallam, there
are many hadith reported in which he was
angry, sallallahu alaihi wasallam. His first would turn
red, and we speak he speaks, you know,
passionately and powerful. He was angry.
So being angry, we can't control that.
Things happen around us that would upset us,
like the prophet
got upset.
But acting angrily,
now that's a choice you make.
A decision you take and a behavior that
you will be held accountable for.
So you can never say I did this
because I was angry, or I said this
because, well, I was angry.
Worse than that, if you blame it on
someone else, like say,
why did you divorce your wife? She made
me angry, so I I just threw the
divorce word on her.
Wow. What a strong man you are,
You can use this as an excuse.
Why did you throw this at him? Oh,
he he upsets me. He just made me
angry just like I did this. So now
we're blaming our behavior on other people. That's
absolutely bizarre. It's unacceptable.
So therefore, you have to differentiate between being
angry, and I give you permission to be
angry. If something is upsetting, you should be
upsetful.
But then how you behave, how do you
use that energy, that's a different story.
So the
there's
a praiseworthy
anger, and there's a a praise of course,
you're kind of like, also reproachable,
anger.
The praiseworthy 1 is the 1 when you
when your anger is for something legit and
it's for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala particularly.
And it's not, of course, praiseworthy.
If that anger is for something trivial
or some of the stuff for Allah even
haram, and worse than that, if you if
it leads to person behaving a way that
is completely offensive
and absolutely wrong.
So it's okay to be angry for the
right reason. However, like we said, that anger
is an emotion. The way you express it,
that's what makes it good or bad.
So here the prophet, sallallahu alaihi wasallam, teaching
us a great lesson.
He goes, look.
Being strong and powerful is not about really
wrestling.
It's not about being powerful and pinning people
down on the ground.
Many people can do that.
But a true mighty person
is the 1 who can control himself or
himself when they're in a fit of rage.
Why is that? Because when you are angry,
you're now going through excessive emotion,
And when you go in that excessive emotion,
what happens to our rationale?
It goes down.
It's not even goes offline.
So that's why when people speak in such
an excessive,
moment,
they sound they sound ridiculous,
and you could just tell them, like, what's
wrong with you? Why are you talking like
this? None of your business.
You know, when you when when you yell
at your kids
and say, well, why are you yelling? You
say, I'm not yelling. Right?
So you're still yelling.
It doesn't make any sense because in that
moment, if we motion you, Rachel is actually
completely down here. And the prophet the prophet
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam is teaching us a
very valuable lesson.
Someone in a situation like this and they
still can stay cool
in what they say and they calculate what
they do, that is the really good the
really meaning of power.
That you don't control you don't control of
what you say and what you do in
a moment of rage, that is an absolute
meaning of power.
Why is that? Because if someone provokes you,
someone provokes you to get angry,
what is expected of you to do?
What do guys expect you to do? If
someone
provoked you to be angry, what is the
expectation that you respond with what?
With anger.
So if you get angry for someone making
you angry, is that something impressive?
No. That's expected. But what is something that
is very impressive? If someone provokes you to
be angry, and instead of being angry, what
do you do? You keep your cool.
That's when people come to say, like, I
don't know how you do that, man.
What do you got these,
you know, still nerves that you have? How
do you do this?
Because controlling yourself in a moment like this
is very powerful. And that's what the prophet
Sallam is referring to here is when he
said,
that it's not about winning, you know, battles
against people.
It's really about winning battles against yourself and
your shaitan.
That is the real power. When you control
what you say, what you do in a
moment when others, they lose it, that is
the true meaning of power.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make some of
those listen to the speech and for the
best of the job.
Any question?
Yes.
So when you keep your calm, he says
sometimes when you keep your cool and you
keep calm, people take this for granted.
That is true. Well, here's the thing,
if you keep your cool because you have
nothing else to do, that's weakness.
But if you keep your cool even though
you're capable of being angry and take control
and even fight back, that is power.
And when you do that, you're doing it
for whom?
For the sake of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
So I'm I'm not doing them to please
people, I'm doing it because
Allah commands me to do so. However,
do I have the the the the right
to retaliate if someone wrongs me? Absolutely.
You have the right to retaliate.
But the prophet, Allah subhanahu wa'am, the Quran,
recommends was for us that you do Ihsan,
which means to forgive, for go, and move
on. That's better for you in the dunya
and the.
So, yeah, it's a case by case scenario.
If you see that being too nice and
too cool and too kind, people now take
advantage of that. Are you allowed to now
express a moment of
decisiveness? I don't wanna say anger, but being
decisive. Yeah. The prophet did that.
Like 1 time, the prophet was making a
tawaf around the Kaaba
in Mecca.
And the people of Quraysh, the elite of
Quraysh were sitting somewhere there. And as the
prophet was making tawaf coming near them, they
start,
insulting him.
They're speaking about him and insulting him.
First time, he kept his cool, he kept
going with his tawaf.
2nd time, he did that.
3rd time, again, they do the same thing.
So he stops his tawaf. He goes straight
to the group of people over there. And
he stands right before him and he goes,
Yeah. Listen to me people of Quraysh. I
swear to you I can make a I
can make a bloodbath over here right now.
Like I can finish you, all of you.
Now who is speaking that Ajamal?
This cool man
But in the Arabic we say
beware
of the rage of the most forbidden person
when he gets angry.
Because that person is being calm and quiet,
not because he's unable to retaliate or get
angry. No. He's just keeping cool because you're
not deserving of his anger.
But if they get angry, you get out
of their way
because they're gonna be very serious. Same thing
the prophet,
when they captured the,
the prisoners of war and after the battle
of Badr.
And they were asked to ransom themselves, so
the families in Mecca used to send many
of their treasures to ransom their family and,
and, and release them from captivity.
So 1 of these people forgot his name,
Abu,
Abu Ma'am, I forgot his name. But eventually,
this man,
he claimed to the prophet, miyam Muhammad, I'm
a poor person. I don't have anybody. I
have no no strong tribe to protect me
in Mecca, and I don't have any money
really to my family will have will send
nothing to so could you please leave me?
I have daughters in Mecca left behind. No
1 else to care for them. Please be
kind and let go of me.
So the prophet,
he says, you promised me 1 thing.
Because whatever that is, I'll give it to
you. He goes, if you go, never ever
come back to fight against me. Never come
back to fight.
He goes, you have my word. I will
never come back to fight you. And the
prophet let
go of him. After the battle of Badr
of Ahud, when the Sahaba of the land,
they lost many, many casualties,
And the prophet says that the next day,
he ordered the Sahaba
to go to try to, go after that
caravan, try to catch them and fight again.
But these people were way ahead. However, they
were able to capture 1 of the people
who was falling behind. Who was that person?
That same guy from last year.
And the prophet sees
him,
and he he goes, and he says, yeah,
Muhammad, you know, please
have mercy on me. I'm so weak. My
daughter's blah blah. And the prophet told him,
he says, didn't didn't you promise me last
year that you're not gonna come to fight
against me?
He goes, yes. I'm so sorry. Please apologize.
You know, I'm sorry. The prophet says, kill
him. Just finish him.
And the man was shocked. He goes, yeah,
Muhammad.
What about my daughters? The prophet says,
Like, I don't care.
I gave him my word. You broke it.
He says I will never let you go
back to Mecca wiping over your your cheeks
saying, I fooled Muhammad twice.
It's not gonna happen.
So, yeah,
being kind and being patient
doesn't mean it's weakness.
Being quiet
against foolish people,
you know, that doesn't mean you're being you're
being weak. That's really being wise
and being smart. But again, I'm telling
you, the quiet person, if if, if there
is their limit and they explode,
beware of their wrath.