Channel: Yaser Birjas
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Yeah inshallah kids we're about to start so inshallah parents can you please make sure that your children are with you and this is a family event and boys event so boys girl inshallah sisters the door should be open you can come in
on the left on my left side inshallah
First I want to welcome my shaky thank Shaykh yasir for
spending his time with us tonight and brother, Omar Suleiman. Sorry, almost mine shake over Solomon couldn't be here tonight, as you heard is
going to be spending some family time with his new baby inshallah. So,
but just two quick reminders again, make sure that your children are with you. Because they make a lot of noise back there. And it's you know, it's really disrespectful for the shoe you hear when they're when they're speaking. Also, make sure if you don't want to, you know,
get beamed by Shaykh yasir stare, make sure that you turn off your phones, those of you that come and attend our programs, you know, it's whenever shake, yes, it looks at you that there's something wrong. So make sure that you turn off your phones to next night it's in Charlotte, we want to thank the VRC assura for giving us the opportunity. It's hosted by the boys club in Chelsea, our first family holiday hosted by the boys club, and inshallah many more. And I'm just going to quickly start off with just giving you a brief information of who we are the boys club and it's going to be open and cello starting next week. So if you're interested, if your boys are interested in joining, it's
from 10 to 17 There we go. We started in November and inshallah we'll continue through May
our vision is to make you know, make have boys come in, make new friends, learn and you know, have fun, and you can speak to we have about like 17 boys that are attending and they they love the program they don't want to you know, you could talk to the parents they don't want to leave so you know it's a good opportunity for them to come and you know, make new friends. These are some of the activities that we've been doing you know, like I said check out their brother Maurice. I don't know if he's here tonight but
they've been giving holidays to the kids some of the holidays you don't check yes sir spoke about the greeting you know for the boys also guarding your mouth. Brother boys to the spoke about respect respect some of the games you play football, dodgeball, you know, soccer table tennis so you know the boys have very good time here. We had an all night session and I'll be showing you a little a movie on that. And we also took some field trips
just a quick slideshow to kind of show you what what they've done in Sharla
and these are some future activities that we're planning to do some more holidays inshallah.
You know, air hockey we have some air hockey some some people are donated some brothers donate air hockey, so we'll be there air hockey, you know, brother officially donated basketball. So in Shell as the weather warms up. We'll be playing some basketball tournaments, planning, do some field trips, camping ground competition as on competition. So there's a lot of activity that goes on
In the boys club in Sharla, and we've opened it up. So you have new participants, I get a sign up sheet there. So if you want to join your boys want to join, you could sign up and I'll send you an email with the new the forum Do you have to sign up every Friday after a stretch to LA for two hours. So it's just like I said it's a good opportunity for them to come and enjoy the time and tonight's event inshallah is about the family you know, spending time with the family, doing good activities, as you know, you've got spring break coming up and next week in a week and a half. So how do you spend time with your family you know, it's quality time, mother's always you know, they
spend quality time with us fathers, you know, we're gonna take some time out of our busy schedules. And the most important example is the best man that lived on the face of the earth was Sheikh Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu sallam. As you can see, it's my first time doing this. So follow the Prophet Muhammad Salallahu Salam shakey so I'm gonna kind of speak about how the profits spent some time quality time with his family and then brother was fine. We'll be talking about how we could spend time with our families and child so shaky out sir.
Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah Baraka.
$100 Bill alameen wa sallahu wa salam O Allah can Amina Mohammed bada he was Savio, Salama, Sleeman, kathira Mama, but let me start and begin by saying it really, it takes a man, a real man to be a father. It takes a real man to be a father. And there is no man, there is no man that ever walked on Earth, greater than Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And there is no better example a law of fatherhood, of being a family man, better than the example of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. He said Heroku Heroku. Clearly, the best among you are those who are best to their families. And they said we're in a hurry to come early, and I am the best to my family. So Rasulullah sallallahu
sallam, he set the example for us. He set the example for us in regard to how to deal with our family, how to deal with our spouses how to deal with our children. So the what the law was ceremony was the best example for us. And I see the kids over there enjoying the conversation already. So we cannot have two conversations at the same time. Omar Bora and the other Omar in the back. You guys on live TV right now, and your name is being announced.
So Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam was now the best role model on this. And those few minutes I would like to share with you how Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, the busiest man, which is the most exclusive we all know of when it comes to why not giving some time to children to families. How Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam at such an old age. Be at 50 years old, sort of at the lower center past that age. 60 years old, even salatu wa was ceremony, he still was able to play with his own grandchildren. salallahu alayhi wasallam. So those will give me the excuse. I'm getting too old for this right now. I cannot run you know, behind the kids. I can ride bikes, I can do this. I can
do that. What's wrong with you? Rasulullah is similar someone's 50s and 60s. He's still dedicated that precious time to spend with his with his with his family. sallallahu alayhi wasallam I don't believe that we have enough excuses to come and just you know, say, I'm too busy for this, I cannot achieve this. You have no excuse other than being lazy. Or being basically I'm missing your your priorities in your life. That's the only excuse I can expect from you. being too busy. You could still dedicate some time. But yeah, I'm too tired, too exhausted, too lazy. My priorities are not set properly, that these excuses I can accept, other than that Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, he was
the busiest man on earth. He was assuming similar roles. sallallahu alayhi wasallam. But he was still able to be to give some time to his family to sort of go to law. He was at MIT, and a sort of law has some law what he was selling, he did that with his wives, as well as with his children, and also with his grandchildren. Now we know about his wife, sallallahu alayhi wasallam in regard to his wife, Salawat Allah wa salam on him, you know, families and, and wives, they know that as much as you spend time away for them, they don't see that that way. They only see away from them. And when you come back, they need you completed to be refreshed and ready to talk, communicate and connect.
Most men don't have that luxury. So when they come back home, they just want a quiet time. They want to just relax and so on. But even Rasulullah has said Allah said it because you guys might complain about one wife right? Rasulullah sallallahu semi had nine households.
And 11 actually, when he passed away he had just he had nine saltwater lava Samadhi. So he had to deal with that. Everywhere he would go salado salon. It's a new story for him. Still he was patient, and he was able to listen and give attention, proper attention to his family. sallallahu alayhi wasallam What do men, wives or women they need in the family, they also need as much as you get tired, they also get exhausted and tired. They need time for recreation. They need to spend some time with you and with the family, and even a sort of law, his sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he gave him that time Like what? traveling for example, you know, every now and then they need to get out.
They need some time away from the heart from the responsibility and the chores of the house, they need to go out and Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam every time he would travel because he's used to travel a lot. So all of a sudden, every time he travels, can I say he would draw us to see who is going to be traveling with him. So he would take some of his wives with him sallallahu wasallam and when he goes with them sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he would still be considered that that experience remains beautiful memory for them. It's not like traveling like I wish I didn't go with you know, they will always go and they will always have these beautiful memories when they travel
together. Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam used to take the opportunity to enjoy the trip, not just the thinking of the destination and arriving on time and so on. We see eyeshadow the allowed Alana, she reported eyeshadow de la Juana. She reported that one day the Prophet salaallah salam was when she was traveling with him. He sent the caravan off in front of him. He sent the caravan in front of him sallallahu wasallam. And then I wonder when the people they became distant, they could not see them. Basically, he told the eyeshadow the Allahu Tarana he told Ayesha, let's race. Let's go and race. And now of course when you only try even to imagine that. Try to imagine Rasulullah sallallahu
wasallam is asking his wife Ayesha, let's race. You know, what is the meaning of racism? And I want you I'm going to give you 10 seconds to imagine Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam his racing was with Alisha. Just think about it for a few seconds.
How did they look like?
Can you try to give me a description? How would they look like when they were when they were racing?
Anyone wants to give a suggestion? Yeah.
No, they were actually on foot. They were not riding on camels. They were right there on foot. They were running. But how's that?
Very lovely. Or just basically they're really running to win the race. They were running to win the race. I know many people they just cannot cannot imagine the Prophet salaallah Salman disposition because we have built an image for sotto la has some of our salon that is beyond the human image sometimes. And because of that we were we were unable to relate to him to him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we always think of him as a great messenger of Allah and he is indeed a great messenger of Allah. But we forget that he was that beautiful human being that amazing basher human human being sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and that's what we need to talk about over here. His humanity Salatu
was Salam O Allah as a family, man. So I she said Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam said, Let's raise. Now of course, before they were raising, what were they doing? They were walking.
It's not like they jumped off the camera and said, Let's race. No, they were just busy. They were walking. So as they were walking and then the prophets Allah Sam told her Let's race. When they raised Ayesha, she said that the first time she won the race, she won the race. Now if you see if I showed the aloud around her, his wife, she won the race. How would she look like when she passed the front in front of the Prophet sallallahu she crossed the line before the Prophet sallallahu sallam, how would she look like? How would she feel? Can you guys imagine that moment is a moment of happiness and joy. Perhaps she was basically she was even laughing at him. She was joking with him
that look at you I want and so on. She was definitely was very excited. Now most men unfortunately when they see their wives winning, what do they do?
They spoil the moment.
they spoil the moment for them. This is cannot imagine that they lose for their wives. So they go on this for the moment for them. And that's why many women would travel with their husband they would say I wish I didn't go with you. You know what better I wish that at home. If you want to travel with your family, let them enjoy the moment. Give them the chance. And that's what the prophet sallallahu Sallam did. I showed the law of the land her she reported another incident. She said what sort of law is the law so I'm some to some other time later on. said we raised again they were traveling, and he told her Let's race there was another incident. But she gave her excuse. She gave
her excuse before she narrated the story. She said for landmark birth to Warhammer two lamb, such as when I grow a little bit
Older, and I gained some weight. So she gave the excuse to say what I lost. So they raced again. This time she lost that race. Now I want I would like to think now for a prophet sallallahu wasallam, who knew that the first time she won and he lost, she won, and he lost. Now this time he is winning, when he turns around to see is still really barely catching her breath as she was running. How would he feel how would he look at herself? Perhaps it was his turn not to laugh at her. So you see, he says, How did he be tilt one by one, which means we're even now. We have no reports of tiebreakers but we know for sure that they enjoyed every moment that they have together.
That Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam, even while traveling, even was was his concern, his biggest concern is the oma and the anger and the relationship with Allah subhanho wa Taala he still gave the time for the family sallallahu wasallam. Okay, Hamza, Mohammed, and mahad you need to face me over here.
Over here, face me over here below. I want to see your face. All right, thank you very much.
Then we see Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam.
Sometimes, you know, he they're not traveling, but they're around the house. What can you do around the house anyway? Is there anything you could do around the house? Other than sleeping? Going on your laptop? Or your cell phone or whatever? Can you do anything with your family? Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam one day was with Ayesha de la Juana. She reports that incident Bukhari as well. She said they were in the house. They were in the house together. And it was an eight day in a day. What do you guys do? You have fun, right? So here's what sort of life sort of loss along with Ayesha in the house. And then they start hearing some some song, some sounds from coming from the masjid,
the sounds of the voices of the people, they were celebrating something. And there were some seniors in the masjid, they playing with the swords and with the armors. So the clanking of the metals and so on was was very loud. And people were laughing people, they were making sounds and noises, fun. Basically, they were having fun. Now naturally, when I say she overheard those sounds and their voices, she kind of stopped what she was doing. And she kind of stopped focusing and concentrating on the sounds. So Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam her husband, her husband looked at her. Now you guys, as men, as men, if your wife, she was hearing something outside. And she stopped whatever she was
doing a short time to pay attention to what was going on? What would you what what question, would you ask her?
What question would you ask her? Let me hear from the guys. What would you say to her
go back to work?
Or do you say to her, you defer? Do you see that? She's curious? It seems it seems that the guys are still not getting the point, right? I mean, why would she even you know, stop doing what she was doing? What was it what she's paying attention to? Well, that's the thing that's a part of that makes it what what a woman would love to see from her husband, that he can sense her needs, even without saying a word. So to sort of La he looked at it Chateau de la Ilaha. And he said, Do you want to watch? He knew what she was paying attention to the sound. Do you want to watch that thing? She said, Yeah, yeah, of course. I want to watch that thing. He invited her to go and have fun and
watch that fun. Salalah Santa's not participating as much as just looking at. Let's say there's a halaal Parade passing by, for example, is it okay to go and watch it The Gemma? What's wrong with that? There's some sort of activities going on. That's outdoors. Is it okay to take my family and go and watch it together? What's the problem with that? Here's Ayesha. She asked her Rasulullah sallallahu sallam. He said, Do you want to watch this? She said Yes, sir Sorolla. So this is stood for her Salatu was Salam Ali, and they were looking through the window, their window, looked into the eye. She was from behind rasulillah has sort of lost a limb and she said she was standing behind
him covering herself around the law, basically behind Rasulullah his salado salon. And she said, Well, I heard the other day, we were standing on my cheek was on his cheek, meaning she had her chin on her shoulder. And they were just kind of in a lovely standing together, and they will walk into that window. After some time, like any man, you just for five minutes or so you get bored, right? It's the same thing over and over again. So you go and look at your services. So are you done?
And that's exactly what the prophet salla sam did. But he was very considerate. She said no, not yet.
If your wife tells you No, not yet, what would you say? Come on, we're done. That's it. It's over. But here's the sort of lion selasa lamb he stood for her to watch again. Then Then after sometime the prophets of Allah Salah he told her Are you done? again like every other man, right? You just kind of stand again. They just tried to make sure that she's okay. Are you done? Well
You're not standing for me, right? I'm standing for you basic is reminding her that I'm standing here for you not the opposite. Then after, after a few times of say, keep saying, Are you done? Are you done? And she always say, No, no, no. Finally, she said to Rasulullah Salah Salem. Yes, Hasbrook, I'm done right now. And then they went back again to the house. Now this is a beautiful, beautiful storage a man, these are beautiful memories. Look at Chateau de la Atlanta. Long time after the Prophet salla son was gone, he passed away, she still cherish those beautiful memories. She always remember those beautiful memories from the life of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi
wasallam Allah, for the husband and for the wives as well. May Allah protect you protect your spouse for you. What beautiful memories do you have with each other?
What beautiful memories Do you cherish with one another.
Now some people are squeezing their brains and their minds to see if there's anything to cherish it to begin with us not will lie, you can enjoy your time and cherish every single moment with your family and your spouse. And you can choose otherwise, it's up to you. The time is yours, you have plenty of time, like Rasulullah saw some had that time to be busy for the oma to be busy making a salon has a better the most devout person on earth. Still, he dedicated some time for his family sallallahu wasallam. Now with children, with children, what did the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam do with the children I'm going to mention bespeak about two areas basically number one,
children of the community. And number two, his own children or grandchildren. So children of the community, what is the Prophet sallallahu Sallam do with the children of the community. I know as a Muslim community here, unfortunately, living in this in this society, it seems to be kind of putting so many limitation in our interaction with children of other people.
In a in a normal traditional society. When it's filled, it's usually feel safe environment, people handle a very well respected, and also they know their limits and so on people they feel safe, you know, having their children around other people and adults. So that was a beautiful time at the time of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. Unfortunately, the culture here right now and today, putting so much limitation because of liabilities because of this, because of that, and so on. But here's some of the incidents, the profits or the loss that we had with the children, what could you do if you were hitting them as it and you came on the show? So someone a kid sitting around, they don't know
what to do? What can you do to help the kids enjoy their time? Can you as a parent, as a member of this community, bring something and advise them to do something or even start some sort of program or activity, let's say it's outside the masjid, or even here inside them as it. So here's Rasulullah his solo salon, he used to he used to bring the kids in when he sees the kids outdoors outside in them and in the community. He would call them in, come over here, come over come to me says come to me. And he would ask them to raise sheep who's gonna win the race. Let's go and see who's faster. So the Prophet salla son was, you know, it he was it was trying to make them competitive and also raise
this this kind of spirit of competition among them who can win the race who's going to go faster, just like we do race, which is basically one of these, the best games children ever played. Even it was the earliest games that we all played, and we're going to keep continue playing the center, perhaps a day of judgment, race, that's the best thing. Rasulullah he used to ask the kids to run. And he goes, whoever wins the race, I'll give him so and so like, give him dates or give him something sweet and so on. So the kids they line up and they start running. And then they at the end the finish line would be Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam himself. It was reported in many Hadith that
Allah has sola Salam he would let the kids run to go to one spot out there. And then they return back to the finish line which is which would be him sola salon, and he would be holding his arms out like this as a finish line. They jump on him. The kids, they jumped on Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam that they pushed him and he would fall on his back. Salawat Allah He was said, Imani, they're laughing. They're having fun. They're enjoying many kids like that. One of the sutala has said Allah said I'm used to come back from travel for my journey, long journey. They bring the kids of Medina for sort of LA is sort of awesome. It's a beautiful sight. For law. It's a beautiful sight because
kids they don't hold so many words like men and women like adults. So whenever we see kids around, what do they do? They play.
They don't care about all these worries in this life span. So when they play, they smile they laugh, they bring joy to you. And that's why they used to bring these kids before the prophets of Allah Salaam and the caravan arrives. And then they release his cousins and his relatives the young boys like Abdullah and Ibis, Abdullah zubaid, the children of Jaffa rhodiola Hassan, Al Hassan, Hassan they so they stopped running and they come and they run towards Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Allah Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam sometimes he would play with individual children, you know the presence of their parents. Like one of the stories, the story of
One of the young Sahaba is rhodiola on him. He said to me, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, magetta magic refugee. He said, I remember the Prophet sallahu wa sallam he said when I was a baby when I was a child, I remember not the baby or the child. When I was a child. I remember sotto la silla la Salaam, he splashed water in my face. The Prophet xlsm. He said, he splashed water in my face, doing what? being playful with him having fun with the chant Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam who used to enter the house of Anna's his servant. And he was a young boy himself. But he had a younger boy, a younger brother. And his name was Obama Professor Sam used to call him Yeah, about Oh, my, my
father, no way, Obama. What happened to the birdie, because of almighty had a birdie as a pet. And unfortunately, the birdie died. So one day, every time the Prophet comes into the house, he would say he, the problem would ask him, Obama. So how's the birdie doing? How's the birdie? So I'm sure what am I as a boy, imagine an adult speaking to a child like Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, why would the child answer he started speaking blabbering like like kids and children. And here is Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam listening to this child expressing his feelings about his his pet
bird until one day that bird died. So when the prophet SAW some Caiman, he saw that the bird was dead. He asked about
my father, knowing what happened to the birdie Obama. And Obama, of course, he's gonna express his feelings, or the bird is dead, and it died like this. I like that. And what I think about not the answer of the child as much as the Prophet sallallahu wasallam, the Messenger of Allah, the leader of the oma is paying attention and listening to this child. Now, Rasulullah Salallahu Salam with his own children and grandchildren and Hassan Hussein. The stories are many. And we have mentioned these stories many, many times, I would like us to share two of these students. Number one, the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. The prophets are what the lowest denominator one day was mission missing,
basically, in Medina, the Sahaba, were looking for him for something that is very, very important. They were looking for him for something that was very important. But he wasn't there. They looked at him and the message was in the message, they asked him in his houses, it was out of the house of Irish and so on. They said, If Why don't you go and look for him, he might be in the house of Fatima or the law of the land, which means he might be in the house of his daughter is playing with the kids. So the honorable hapa he went looking for a suit of law, his civil asylum and indeed he found them. He found him in the house of Fatima and he said for it Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
who Allah Allah said I saw the Prophet sallallahu Sallam on for which means on his knees and his hands. What was he doing? salado Sala playing horsey
and his soul has evolved her sign riding on his back. Can you imagine the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam playing horses? Can you imagine that? I want you to imagine this. I'll give you five seconds to think about it. Rasulullah was his big beard Mashallah with his turban, what his job was his status as a great messenger of Allah on his knees on his arms and his hands and he's playing horseshoe that has our facade on his back. So I'm gonna walk up top he saw that that aside and he just kind of was amused himself with that so he goes Karana Morocco Morocco Kuma says Mashallah nice ride you guys. said nice nice ride you have there about also realize that Allah,
Ceylon and Rasulullah joke back with him. He wasn't offended by that. He joked back with him and he says Carla, wanna mellifera san Houma under the best nights ever. These are the best nights ever to ride a horse or basically any a common are the Allahu taala and human. And that's when I'm over Katara todo sobre la la sala when you do for something, and that's when the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he put the children down, and he went to see what's going on the community. Eventually, he was the busiest man people delete him. He's always on call. He's always on standby. But every time he gets an opportunity to go down on his knees, he will do it. So a lot of them to play with the
kids. When was the last time you were on your knees with your children? drawing with crayons and and playing with them?
When was the last time when you with your children riding a bike? Or going fishing? or playing you know, go karts or do whatever you do some of these fun activities. When was the last time you've done that? When was the last time you play dodgeball with your kids and you were their targets? They're taking advantage of that and they're just throwing all the balls on you. When was the last time you've done that? When was the last time sister you had the opportunity with your girls as well? To sit down together and have fun and let them laugh at you? What's wrong with that? You don't even know how to play the game. Let it be let's just enjoy some time and have fun together. The
other story I would like to mention I will conclude with that and shout louder about a katana is it also de la la la silla, even during the most, the most I would say sacred time. La vida worship Salah Rasulullah is
Sevilla Salam was leading Salah for the oma. He was leading Salah for the oma sallallahu wasallam. In the Jews, the Jews was a little bit longer than usual. There was a little bit longer than usual. One of the Sahaba of the love and miss rhodiola did and he got a little bit concerned. He got a little bit concerned. He said, I don't know what's going on. So he raised his head to check on Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam to see if he's okay. If everything is okay. Carla parietal Hassan, Hassan your tahiliani I saw Hassan her sign on his back. What was doing on his back massage
or scratching his back? Of course not. They're playing horsey. Do you know why? Because for a young child to three year old child, two three year old child, when he sees you, brother and sister when they see you on sujood position, what do they exactly see?
They see you in a better in an act of worship, you're connecting with the law surgeon. Of course not that site for them. That means what means horsey, time to play.
So the moment you make your suit and Salah, expect your young kids to jump over your head and your back. Why? Because they know it's time for play. This is for them as an invitation to play. Don't be offended, don't get upset, don't get angry. Enjoy the moment. Rasulullah Salallahu Salam he stayed in his position of servitude until the kids they took their time. Then when they stepped down, he came back to his position. So the law says I'm going to finish the law. He gave his excuse to the public. He says Carla ineptness and my children will just kind of have to holonic they were just you know, riding my back for courage to Angela, Houma. I didn't want to rush them.
I did not want to rush my kids, therefore he gave them the time Salatu was Salam O Allah to enjoy. Now this is my invitation for you even even when it's time for your Avada even when you're the most sacred time for you and that's worshiping Allah subhanho wa Taala that doesn't mean you cannot use this time to be playful and enjoy with your children. If they come to you during your reading of the Quran, or they interrupt you want to do something about them it's not the time for you to show them that you know that you're angry or upset. And this case they will always associate regarded as being something not easy to deal with. Let them enjoy the moment their children but at the same time know
that there are about your ibadah is a very sacred time for you teach them that inshallah Allah and they will learn on their own. What Allahu Donna salon, Amina Muhammad Ali.
Thank you very much checkoutstore for sharing that knowledge about a prophet Muhammad Sallallahu sallam. Now I mean, Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam shared his time outside, you know, running with with the kids. But nowadays, you know, you got video games, you know, iPad iPhone. So how do we share quality time with our kids in today's age, so inshallah brother Omar Osman will share some of those activities that we could do with our kids in our break coming up inshallah brothers.
So let's get this out of the way. First, obviously, I'm not Omar Suleiman.
But I am named Omar. So inshallah we'll be alright.
I wanted to just share a couple of suggestions essentially, on spending quality time with your kids during spring break. And I want you to keep one phrase in mind as we kind of go through this. And that is the idea of investing in quality experiences with your family. Invest, make it an investment, the time that you spend, the activities that you do, the places that you go, all of these things are an investment into your child's future, not just in their development in having good family time and things of that sort. But also, you're investing in the memories that they'll have when they're older. You know, we all think back to when we were kids. And we think about fun
things that we did with our parents, fun things that we did with our siblings going on vacation or games that we played in the street, whatever it might be, we're now in the position to shape the memories of our children. We have that unique place, that the decisions that we make, the activities that we do with them, these are the things that they'll remember when they grow older. And those are the things that will inspire them to act in that way with their families as well. So the even the little things that we do is a little bit of quality time that we have. Make sure
That is important. Make sure that is of quality, because it's an investment.
Now, when it comes to having fun, a lot of times we overcomplicate things, you know, a lot of times we'll run to the mom and ask him, is it allowed to do this? Is it allowed to do that? Is it allowed to go watch this movie? Is it allowed to play this video game, and we get so caught up in trying to figure out what we're allowed to do, that we don't actually end up doing anything. And then the other extreme is that we think that well, spring break is vacation. If we can't go to Hawaii for a week, then really everything else is worthless, right? We kind of create these expectations in our mind, that has to be one or the other. And if we can't need it, then somehow we're falling short. So
what I wanted to do was just share a couple of, you know, suggestions on simple things that we can do. Because a lot of times the same is the simple things that have the most effect. You know, it's not necessary to overcomplicate and do really fancy things all the time. Think about the first, you know, with your first child, think back to the first time you went and bought a really expensive gift. Right? With your first kids, you're really motivated, you spend money on all kinds of things that you would never would have bought otherwise. Right? So you go and you buy like a $50 thing that the kid lays underneath and doesn't know what to do with it. Right? There's a bunch of stuff on he's
is lying there looking at it, but you've spent 50 bucks on things we hoping that he plays with it. But what is the kid do?
The kid plays with the box at the toy came in, they're more fascinated with the packaging than they are with the actual toy. It's the simple pleasures many times that that really make it worthwhile for them.
One story that I wanted to mention before I kind of get into actual practical examples is that of job urban someone or the boss run.
And he narrates the story of when he went with the profits of the lahardee with some appraisal her. So he's out he's praying with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And afterwards, the prophet is going to his house. And so joggers saying that, you know, the kids that were trying to run with him and go with him and try to hold his hand. And that the profits of the law while he was alone would rub his hand on their cheeks, you know, just kind of as in a playful way. And he said that I remember that I never felt I mean, I never smelled a fragrance so sweet as the blessing hand of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So the thing that the point, the reason that I mentioned the
story is that this was something extremely simple, very simple, nothing complicated. But it was a quality interaction. And not even that long, but a quality interaction that left him with a positive memory for an entire lifetime. A positive memory of his interaction with the loss of the law while he was alum, and a positive memory of his attendance at the machine itself. So much so that when he enters into adulthood, he's This is what he's narrating about the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the others is that remember, when he rubbed my cheek in his hand smelled nice. So sometimes these small quality interactions go a long way.
So let's now get into some, like I said, some suggestions on things that we can do with our kids. Now, when your kids are younger, it's a lot easier to come up with fun activities. The reason being is that younger kids still think their parents are cool, and they still like hanging out with them. So it's easier to come up with activities that they that they'll enjoy doing. But the important point here is to do activities that they will enjoy,
biggest to create and invest in a good memory for them. They're not gonna have fun from doing things that you enjoyed when you were a kid. Right? They've grown up in a different time, a different era, a different place. So we have to ask parents adapt to what's fun for our kids. And the other thing about spring break is this.
Spring breaks specifically needs to be made special for our children. It's not like any other weekend, it's not like any other day off. The reason that this time specifically needs to be special for them is that when they go back to school after a week off, what are all the kids talking about? All the kids are talking about all the fun things that they did during that week, all the fun things they did with their families with their friends, the places they went, that's what they're all going to be talking about at school. And so our kids come out of school with this expectation that this next week is going to be fun. And so if we don't make it special, if we just do the same things we
normally do on a weekend, they're not going to feel that same level of excitement, they're not going to feel that they really got the most out of their vacation. So we really have to go out of our way. In the end. The key word here is to be intentional about the experiences that we have with them. So an easy example might be going to the park, right but don't just go to the park that you normally go to with them. Try to find a new park that's got you know, different swing sets and things of that sort of like a bigger Park. Or take some take some balls, take some games, make it a special day with that you don't normally do at the park or a park that you don't normally go to. There's plenty
of places around Dallas that you can visit. For example, there's a new park in Dallas called Clyde Warren Park. There's founders Plaza by the airport where you can have a picnic and you can actually watch the planes taking off and landing. right there's so many things even with this
In our own city that don't cost money that you can go and you can have a fun time with your children.
Another thing there's, you know, there's all these different things popping up, one of the new things that a lot of kids enjoy my kids enjoy is going to the trampoline parks has been to a trampoline park.
Almost no one.
Okay, one guy, y'all are missing out. Imagine a room that's bigger than this, that's wall to wall trampolines that you just jump around on. That's literally what a trampoline park is. And they're popping up all over. But that's a really good fun place to take your children. It's indoors, it's safe is clean. And it's something that's really enjoyable. So if you obviously if you haven't gone there than spring break is a good excuse to check it out.
Another thing you can do is you can be a tourist in your own town, right? Like, obviously, you can go out of town and go on vacation and things of that sort. But we don't think about actually visiting the things that are in our city itself. For example, how many people have been to cowboy Stadium, and actually taken a tour and gone out on the field. Right? For a lot of kids. That's something that's extremely exciting to actually go on the field that the Cowboys playing on. I remember a few years ago,
some time ago, they had an event at the old stadium. And for many of us, you know the guys my age, we still remember, we don't remember the event. We remember the fact that we were on the field and we got to play catch with a football. Right, that's that's something that you take away in November. So going to someplace like cowboy Stadium, that's something fun that you can do with your family. And something that creates a lasting lasting memory with them.
With the younger kids, you can also do projects at home, like you can do some gardening projects, you can even do painting projects and things like that. It doesn't work with the older kids because they see it as work. But younger kids will still be excited by it. So there's things you can do around the house, you can play outside and things like that. Again, it doesn't have to be complicated, but make it a point to do something special with them at least every day, at least every day, find something fun to do with them, you know, you can take them to a waterpark, you can take them to Great Wolf Lodge in grapevine. You can set up sprinklers in your yard and let them run
through it. Right, you can come up with creative ways to have fun. But like I said, make sure that it's things that you don't normally do. And make sure it's things that the kids actually enjoy doing. get their feedback, ask them where they want to go ask them what they want to do. And if you're having trouble, you know, look online, find different activities.
One of the ways to make Spring Break special for your kids, is to let them break the rules, right, they've got this special week, they've come in with high expectations. If they're held to the same standards during that week, it will not be fun. You can go to the greatest places during the day. But if you still enforce the same bedtime routine at night, they're probably going to get frustrated. So spring break is the time to let loose a little bit. Let them stay up. You know, have a movie night or documentary night sweats motion, but uh, let them let them stay up late, let me know make popcorn get go to Target and get like the movie theater style candy, right? Get all those
things and let them actually have that whole experience at home, let them stay up. You know, stay up playing video games with your kids, like actually play with them play against them, is playing video games with your kids doesn't mean that they watch you play Angry Birds on your phone. But it means that you're actually engaged with them playing games together. Those are just simple ideas that you can do at home. Another thing you can do is just organize a playdate. You know a lot of families, they have kids at roughly the same age. And this works for the older kids as well as the younger kids is trade off with other families. You know, maybe one day everyone gets together at one
person's house and they have activities planned. They have like a you know, maybe they play football outside, they've got video games lined up, they've had other activities. And then another day they go to someone else's house and do something different. Right, you can get together with other families and help them you know, it's not just your quality family time. But they are able to develop those bonds of friendship with other kids their age as well outside of school. And that's also very important.
For the older kids is a little bit more difficult. Because like I said, what, what you like they're going to be against period. Right? So the simple thing that it comes down to is, again, don't overcomplicate, just sit down and ask them what they want to do. Just ask them what your role is the facilitator. Right, your role with the older children is not to come up with the activities and an itinerary and tell them that Monday we're going here, Tuesday, we're going there Wednesday, we're going there, right? Because they'll just rebel against that. But rather sit down with them and say, this week is your week. And we're here to make a special for you. So what do you want to do? Where
do you want to go? What's feasible for us to do? If you've got multiple kids, maybe each kid can pick a family activity in one day you do what one child has picked. The next day you do something that the other child has picked, right but it becomes good family activities that you all can do together. And by letting them pick giving them a say in it. You're facilitating and creating that positive memory with them.
One very easy way to accomplish this is by taking your kids to a ballgame right Mavericks
are in season now you can go, you can go catch a game during the week. And the thing with that is a tickets aren't even that expensive. I actually checked the ticket prices before I came here. And you can get tickets for as cheap as $8. That's how that's how easy it is to go to a game. And here's the thing about going to a game.
Up till now I still remember every single game that I went to with my parents or with my dad, whether it was a baseball game, a couple of Astros games, Houston rock, I grew up in Houston, so Astros games, rockets, games, a couple of cowboys games here, you know, you remember all those games that you went to. And here's the funny thing. If you ask anyone as a kid that went to a game with their parents or with a friend, they don't remember who won. They don't even necessarily remember who what two teams played, or who the opponent was. They simply remember that actual experience of going to the game with their dad. That's what they take away from it. They remember how fun it was,
they remember the environment, they remember the enjoyment, they don't remember the outcome.
And that's because they've they in their mind, they've had that now positive experience with their parents, that becomes a lasting memory. So that's a very easy way to do something that lasts.
Now, very quickly, one other way of identifying fun activities, is by identifying activities that are not fun, because things are known by their opposites, sometimes. So a family day at the mall is not quality Family Fun Time.
Packing up your van in a cooler and drinks and snacks. And driving an hour to IKEA to spend the day is not Family Fun Time. Your kids won't like it. going out of town that's fun, going out of town for a wedding, not fun.
So you know, keep in mind from the perspective of your children, what they're going to enjoy and what they're not going to enjoy.
And then lastly, I have three, just three small pieces of advice now, and I'll close with these.
The first is this concept of tactics versus strategies. Now I listed a bunch of places that you can go, you're going to act different activities that you can do. But here's the thing, what I've actually mentioned doesn't matter. It doesn't really matter which Park you go to. Or if you go to a game or specifically where you go and what you do doesn't count. But it's the fact that you made an intentional effort to spend time with your children. And you made an intentional effort, that this time will result in a positive memory for them. That becomes your guiding statement. That whatever we do during this week, whatever actions I take, wherever we go, whatever we decide, the end result
of these activities are going to be that it will create a positive memory for our children that they'll remember when they grow up. So don't get too focused on making you know, we have to go here and we have to go there. And it's not fun if we didn't make it to that place. No, that's not the point. The point is simply that you the time that you had, you made a quality. Now one of the second advice I have is how to identify a time that's not quality. So I'll give you an example of time that's not quality. It's going to the park, putting your two year old in a swing,
pushing her reaching into your pocket, pulling out your phone, and doing this for 15 minutes. That's not quality family time, because you're now prioritizing your phone over the activities that you have with them.
And like I said, when you think back to your own childhood, and you think about the activities you did with your parents, you know, the main thing is you might not even remember the activities as much as you remember the way that your parents were interacting with you that full engagement, the full attention that they gave you. That's what counts. And so if we go out with our children, and we're tied to our phones, and we're not giving them the proper attention, we might be in Hawaii, we might be in an amazing place. But without that attention, it's not quality for them, it doesn't have that same level of positive effect, because they will grow up remembering that they were being
ignored, or made a second fiddle to something that was more important in their parents eyes. So you have to make sure that you make that they feel important that they're getting your full attention.
And then the last advice I wanted to leave you with was
not to hoard experiences. And here's what I mean by that.
A couple of years ago, our family went to SeaWorld
and so we're sitting there and the dolphin show is about to start right so the dolphins do all these crazy tricks and stuff. You know my show, it's amazing to watch. So we're sitting there watching it and I noticed a couple of rows down from us. There's a family that sitting there and literally the dolphins are you know going on right in front of them
a couple of times.
And the dad is watching the dolphins through his phone lens because he just wants to videotape it. So this amazing thing is going
On this great activity is going on. And he's watching it on three inch screen, even though it's right in front of him. Because he's more because here's, here's what here's the mentality because of, you know, the social media world that we live in, people are now more obsessed with documenting the experience than actually enjoying it.
They're more concerned with getting a video to prove that they were there to show their kids Hey, I took you somewhere fun look, here's the proof, then to actually have fun while they're there.
And so you'll see people go on vacation, they post like 200 pictures, and say, what do you do on vacation other than take pictures? Right? And so we we become obsessed, because we get some instant gratification out of showing the pictures. Hey, look where I was. Look what I did. Look how many people liked it. Look how many people commented on it. But we lose sight of the fact that in that documentation process, we've lost quality time with our family, we haven't been able to actually sit down and interact with them and have that proper family bond because we were distracted with something else. So that's the that's the last advice is don't get too caught up in documenting
everything that you do. But focus on like I said, doing everything that you can to make that memory a positive one for them when they grow up inshallah Sokolow care, I think that will have
brother inshallah, we're gonna open it up to any questions. Let me give the mics to.
Yeah, we're gonna have about 15 minutes of a q&a.
So any questions, there's no?
Or no? Is it fun? Is it
I don't want to go over this right now, to be honest with you, I would rather actually not discuss this subject right now. But the whole, the whole point, as we were talking about is not what you do as much as the experience, I want to, I want to focus on the experience. Maybe some people, they might get the wrong impression over here that we're saying, Listen, it's an indulgence in game and play, and so on. And there is no room for a better, we don't say that as a man, even though we're telling you to have a sleepover in someone else's house and spend the entire night, you know, playing game and so on. We're not saying not to call them when it's time for salon not to sit down
together and have some nice, beautiful chitchat and do something, you know, useful, besides just playing, they will still need to learn something new and their lives. That's what they need to do. It's experience itself. Not Yes.
In the United States, that kind of, you know, like preparation on a central planning center level, okay, that we have spring break is coming. And let's do that. Okay, maybe a daily activity for the kids because we have some, some families, they might be poor families that they cannot afford to take their kids do some work, we might have some people that they don't have the time. Maybe some people that maybe orphans, so I believe that it from center perspective, or, you know, organization community, we are.
So I have a take on this that I think maybe a lot of people might disagree with
when I grew up our the machines that I went to actually did do activities like this. during holidays, they would have, you know, like an arts and crafts thing where they all get together and do certain things. And then we'll sit down, like, you know, maybe do a little bit of religious activities and whatnot.
And I'll be honest, as a kid, I hated it. I did, you know, on vacation, the machine was the last place I wanted to go. And I'm being completely honest. So I think in theory, it's nice that the community should have activities. But I think it just comes back to understanding the role and that's the facilitator role. So for example, if the machine has a gym, right, and they close the gym, LLC at 10pm, maybe the community can facilitate it by saying that okay, during spring break is late, we'll leave the gym open till 2am. Right, or they'll say, you know, if you want if there's certain activities that are, you know, approved to do and the machine will have the machine open for
you to do it. But a lot of times when the community kind of says that, here's a list of activities, we want you to come for kids, correct me if I'm wrong, but most kids find that to be boring, and that's really not what they want to do.
I need to add something else at this point as well. For most of our personal experience, you know what what happens during the during the breaks these breaks honestly, many parents, they would like to outsource the experience to the community not to themselves and and
with themselves with their children, we always want to outsource that. And honestly, on the long run, it might have a detrimental effect on your your children. Because when your children grow up all, you ask them to try to remember the fun memories, most likely these fun memories will not be with you.
But if you want to keep these bonds and this strong, you know, relationship, you need to be the source of fun, and they need to remember you being the fun part of their actual experience. However, however, just like you said, there will be some members of the community might basically be at a disadvantage. Maybe we have single mothers, for example, the father figure is missing. And unfortunately, it's becoming very common these days, every committee you go to, you will have few number of sisters widowed divorcees, they don't have their husband around. So therefore the father figure is missing, who is going to help with that? Sometimes the father figure is supposedly at
least the father is there, but in reality, his absence in the life of the family, how can we help with that? Now this for this particular reason, I agree with you, there has to be some sort of something organized. But at the same time, we need also to keep in mind, for the parents on an individual basis, you need to be the source of fun for children. But to balance it, just like you said, I agree with the jacala. Sisters, Any question?
Brothers, we'll get back to you. Any questions? Yes.
So whether asking if there's a back home needs to have Islamic camps and things of that sort. And if we have anything like that here, the only thing that I'm aware of is the minicamps
of handouts, the only one that I can recall. But again, it goes back to if that's something that you feel strongly about and that your kids would enjoy, then maybe that's something that you can organize with maybe a couple, it doesn't have to be, you know, it doesn't have to be huge, right? It could be with maybe a couple of families that go and doing something small scale, and go on a camping trip or something like that, and that would be great. And yeah, even even actually, literally even in the backyard.
How many people are familiar with the concept of staycations?
A few. Okay, everyone, so staycation This is becoming like a new trend, especially with the economy being down. And so it goes with the brother mentioned this, you know, a lot of times you don't have the money to go out and do all those quote unquote, fun activities. So one thing that people are doing is doing staycations. And so they'll pitch a tent in the backyard and sleep there overnight. And maybe they'll make a fire and roast, the halaal, gelatin free marshmallows and stuff like that. And, you know, just sit in the backyard and have that, you know, camping experience outside the house.
Some people, you know, stepping it up a little bit, they might not go out of town, but they might go and stay a night in a hotel in the city. Right? They might not travel, but they'll go and do those vacation type of things here. But that's something that you can fairly easily organize. I mean, probably, you know, formally there's the minicamps and whatnot. But it can also be something that's organized on a small scale, even with a couple of families.
Sisters, any question again?
Okay, brothers, yes.
Your kids are older than mine. I'm not there yet.
The question is,
the question is, what of your older child who is close to basically any college age almost, you could say that their senior year in high school, and you tell them that this is this is your week. So you have a whole week of vacation? So what do you want us to do? He goes, Well, thank you, that for you and for your concern, but I want to be with my friends. So what we'll do in this case,
the only thing I can tell you, honestly, is to facilitate fun for them, making sure they're safe, safe in the dunya. And the last one, if you trust that and if you make sure that everything is going to be okay and sure that should bind that doesn't mean that you police your children and you keep you know, monitoring them or put a GPS on their liaison to or to monitor their movements. I'm not saying that but at the same time you also need to be safe. Parents need to be aware that today our age is different than 10 years ago, 10 years ago, perhaps the kids didn't have this access to this mobile technology. Where everywhere they are they
can have access to many things that might be really hurtful and harmful. And it's not like it used to be. So therefore you need to be extra careful, but not being controlling. So if they want to be with their, with their friends, I would suggest that you request from them to split the time. So you know what you have an entire week, lets you know, do 5050 or two thirds, one third, you enjoy your time with your friends sometime, but we have to do something together as a family. So in this case, hopefully schelotto things will work out.
I was gonna add that point is that I was also that kid that didn't want to do anything with the family. And so a lot of it comes to compromise, like, Okay, if you want to go with your friends one night, go with your friends, but then you come up with an but tell your child for example, Fine, go with your friends on Monday, but you come up with a family activity for Tuesday, we won't tell you what it is, we'll just say it has to be with the family, but you get to pick the activity, but something that we all do together.
But uh, I wanted to piggyback one quick comment on the safety issue.
You know, with a lot of Muslim kids growing up here, and especially like as a teenager and whatnot, when you go out with your friends, there's a certain stigma that a lot of times the kids might not even be doing anything that bad. But they feel if their parents knew where they were, they'd be in big trouble.
So one thing with the safety I would say is that, you know, sometimes it'll sometimes it will happen that even with good kids, they'll get caught in situations or in places that they did not intend to go but by circumstance they ended up there. Right? That also happens sometimes. I think one good thing is to have a rule with your child especially the teenage age children is have a no questions asked rule that basically if you're out with your friends, and something happens, no matter what time it is, you call me I will come pick you up no questions asked, meaning I'm not going to grill you I'm not going to put you in trouble. I'm not going to yell at you. I'm not gonna do all these
things. But if you're in a situation that you need to get out of, call me I will be there no questions asked. We'll discuss it politely The next day, but at least have some type of policy like this because what will happen is that even the well meaning kids that aren't even that bad of a situation if they feel that their parents are gonna freak out they'll end up making an even worse decision and it'll spiral out even worse from there. But if they have that out that my parents will come get me and I won't be in trouble they will take advantage of it and it's a very easy way of keeping them safe when they go out.
Any questions? Mr. Brothers
you or somebody else? Okay.
No kids are the kids if you guys have any questions for us, we can direct that to your parents on your behalf
so just go ahead
at the message facility I don't know this is actually has to be answered by some people from the administration if we are allowed by law to use let's say the parking area for camping overnight or even outside I don't know if this is safe or this is accurate. Is it acceptable?
So even inside we're not allowed to stay on less than Ramadan. Right? So
I think it's an issue of liability and safety that will not allow that Do you have any suggestion
Valley Ranch at the COFF camping program coming up in a few months
we'll do that inshallah. In a few months it's gonna be it's gonna happen Ramadan inshallah
but we don't we're not allowed to do camping there are we
this it's these are legal issues. We have to discuss that with the experts in this field. I don't have the answer first release Allah Allah I would say a lot of them.
That's it. So you throw the kids there and just keep guarding them right now. Any questions brothers?
It will be the final question and last question brothers or sisters.
Fair inshallah. Tada, duck Wanaka.
Again, just school quickly want to recap before I know everyone wants to leave and run home.
Yes, just quick, there's a few. So if you want to register your your boy. We have a registration. There's a just sign up, and I'll send you the form. Also, we need volunteers. We need volunteers Friday nights for the boys group. So there's also a volunteer form, please sign up and just to remember to spend quality time with your, with your family during spring break. Take some time off and spend with them. Does that qualify? Thank you. Shake. Yes, sir and shake. Omar for joining us. Thank you for everyone. Coming