Yahya Rhodus – Knowledge & Wisdom Imam alHaddad #22

Yahya Rhodus
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The importance of using words of the prophet's advice to describe emotions and understand the meaning of anger is discussed, along with the need to temper and balance anger to achieve a sense of peace and balance. The speakers emphasize the importance of engagement with one's religion, mindset clarity, and positive engagement in managing one's life. The importance of hedicized behavior and strategic thinking is emphasized, along with the need for mindset clarity and engagement in relationships. The speakers stress the importance of learning to think about plan B and plan C, finding people to be strong and empowered, and avoiding mistakes.

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			We will continue our study of these blessed
		
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			Hadith,
		
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			So Abu Huraira narrates that a man
		
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			and that we come to know in
		
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			another narration
		
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			that, who this Sahabi actually was.
		
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			There's difference of opinion. Some of them say
		
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			it was jaria
		
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			ibn Qudam Asadi.
		
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			So he comes to the prophet, either him
		
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			or according to other narrations someone else,
		
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			and he says to the Prophet
		
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			give me advice.
		
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			And the Prophet responds to his question
		
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			by saying,
		
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			la tardab,
		
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			do not become
		
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			angry.
		
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			That's the literal translation, and we'll see what
		
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			the scholars have said about the potential meanings
		
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			that of these words of the prophet.
		
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			So he said multiple times, oh, my sonja
		
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			of Allah, give me advice. Oh, my sonja
		
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			Allah, give me advice.
		
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			And the prophet continued to respond to him
		
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			by saying,
		
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			do not become angry. Do not become angry.
		
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			And the scholars consider this hadith
		
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			to be from the Jawami Al Kalem,
		
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			from the
		
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			comprehensive words of our Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
		
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			sallam,
		
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			the general meaning of which is to pack
		
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			abundant meaning
		
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			in very concise expressions,
		
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			and the
		
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			great Imam al Bukhari
		
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			that says about the Joamir Qalam that it
		
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			reached him that the Joamir Kalim were as
		
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			follows.
		
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			Is that Allah gathers
		
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			that many different meanings
		
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			that were a part of
		
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			other revelations
		
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			previously
		
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			in the divine revealed books and gather them
		
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			together
		
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			for in the prophetic words in very a
		
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			short expression or 2.
		
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			And so
		
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			this is essentially
		
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			that a summary of prophetic wisdom then when
		
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			we talk about the juwami al kalem
		
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			and what a great blessing it is to
		
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			have rasulullah sallallahu alaihi sallam
		
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			that speak very concise words
		
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			whereby which then that you can extract so
		
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			many different meanings.
		
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			And if you think about this in terms
		
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			of their impact upon your heart,
		
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			that when those meanings strike the heart,
		
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			is that
		
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			it's not just commensurate with the brevity of
		
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			the words
		
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			also the light that comes to your heart
		
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			expands as well
		
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			The meanings expand,
		
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			the light expands,
		
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			and all of the other realities of listening
		
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			to these words of the prophet
		
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			expand.
		
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			And this is why it's so important to
		
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			you by way of intention, 1st and foremost,
		
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			to open our hearts to the words of
		
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			the Rasool, sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
		
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			And we use his words as the standard
		
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			that we have to live up to.
		
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			It's very easy to
		
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			quote these ahadith. It's very easy to translate
		
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			these ahadith.
		
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			What is hard is to put them into
		
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			practice.
		
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			You Allah.
		
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			How many times have we heard this hadith?
		
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			And how many times knowing that we've heard
		
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			this hadith, have we failed
		
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			to put this hadith into practice?
		
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			And in another narration,
		
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			there is
		
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			a slight addition
		
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			is that one of the the companion who
		
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			asked the prophet, sallallahu alaihi wasallahu alaihi wasallam,
		
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			for this advice, he says, say to me
		
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			a word that will benefit me.
		
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			And then look what he asked the prophet
		
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			and be brief,
		
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			be concise
		
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			so that I can understand it,
		
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			which is amazing to think about this, that
		
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			the the companions
		
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			that that wanted something that they could take
		
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			home and put into practice easily.
		
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			And that what might appear at first glance
		
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			to be bad
		
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			really indicates
		
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			the avidness of that companion to put the
		
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			prophetic words into practice and that were the
		
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			prophet to be lengthy, he feared not being
		
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			able to put all the device,
		
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			making that a part of his life.
		
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			So the scholars have said that this could
		
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			mean
		
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			a number of different meanings.
		
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			And that the first meaning is when the
		
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			prophet says,
		
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			do not become angry
		
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			is that it is as if that the
		
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			prophet is saying
		
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			that be weary
		
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			of the causes of anger or try to
		
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			avoid
		
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			the causes of anger
		
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			Whereas another opinion says
		
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			that
		
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			it's as if the Prophet is saying by
		
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			saying do not become angry,
		
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			Do not do what anger is calling you
		
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			to.
		
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			And has an entire book
		
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			whereby which he treats
		
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			anger,
		
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			avarice,
		
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			and then,
		
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			where he treats, excuse me, he treats anger
		
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			and then he that,
		
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			treats,
		
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			that contempt
		
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			and that everything that leads after that.
		
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			Because that that what happens is if someone
		
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			becomes angry
		
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			and they don't have the ability to unleash
		
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			their anger, they keep it in.
		
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			And when they keep it in is that
		
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			the Agadab anger that it turns to Hekat,
		
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			and Hekat is rancor,
		
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			or that you could even say that it
		
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			is hatred.
		
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			And then if you have rancor in your
		
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			heart for people,
		
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			it easily leads to Hassid,
		
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			which is envy.
		
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			And so imam algazali treats all 3 of
		
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			those vices together
		
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			and, links them
		
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			in a certain way so that we can
		
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			understand what underlies
		
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			this particular disease or diseases of heart.
		
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			And so that he goes into great detail
		
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			about
		
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			all of the various reasons that people become
		
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			angry.
		
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			And it's only when that you treat each
		
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			one
		
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			1 by 1 will you truly
		
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			be able to overcome
		
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			the clutch of anger and having it drag
		
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			you into doing something that is reprehensible in
		
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			the sacred law.
		
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			And I believe that we clarified
		
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			last week
		
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			that when we talk about anger, it means
		
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			here blameworthy anger, of course.
		
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			Anger, there's no doubt, there's a wisdom in,
		
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			Allah Subha'ala,
		
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			making the human being disposed to anger.
		
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			If you need to protect yourself and you
		
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			don't have anger, how on earth how earth
		
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			are you going to protect yourself? There's a
		
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			divine wisdom in anger,
		
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			But what we need to do is temper
		
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			our anger
		
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			and to get angry for the right reason,
		
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			at the right person, at the right time,
		
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			to the right degree, in the right way,
		
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			and all of these other considerations.
		
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			We need to think through how and when
		
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			and why and we get angry.
		
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			And ultimately, finding that balance as was just
		
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			described is one of the most hardest things
		
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			of all. But the point is not to
		
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			remove anger from you completely.
		
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			It's to temper your anger and balance your
		
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			anger so you get angry for the right
		
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			reasons and then all of the previous ways
		
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			mentioned.
		
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			But when we are speaking of it now
		
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			as a vice, oftentimes that we have to
		
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			tip the scale in the other direction until
		
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			we can get a hold of it, and
		
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			then we can find where that balance really
		
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			lies.
		
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			And so when the prophet says here, do
		
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			not become angry, doesn't mean that there's not
		
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			a legitimate and even praiseworthy time to become
		
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			angry because there is.
		
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			It means that
		
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			the negative reasons for which we become angry,
		
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			For instance, if someone
		
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			is an arrogant person
		
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			and someone else
		
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			tries to get in when this happens all
		
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			the time. You're driving
		
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			and someone's a very arrogant person and someone
		
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			tries to slip in in front of them
		
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			in the sense of, don't you know who
		
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			I am?
		
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			And someone gets cut off by someone, then
		
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			it's very easy for them to lash out
		
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			or sometimes very small infractions or even misunderstandings.
		
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			If someone is
		
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			that a person of arrogance, they're prone
		
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			to unleashing
		
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			uncontrollable anger upon people. And there's a number
		
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			of other that causes of anger, if you
		
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			will, as well. And so that some scholars
		
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			say is that this hadith is that prohibiting
		
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			us from
		
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			letting the many causes of anger
		
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			lead to our anger,
		
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			for lead to us being angry for the
		
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			wrong reason,
		
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			or that according to the other meaning
		
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			is that we know that when we become
		
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			angry, we become imbalanced.
		
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			And has
		
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			much more control over us when we are
		
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			angry than impose as opposed to when we
		
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			are mild and calm.
		
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			As we say, calm, cool,
		
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			and collective.
		
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			And so there's a number of things that
		
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			could happen when we become angry and may
		
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			Allah forgive us for all of the mistakes
		
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			that we make when we become angry
		
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			that we might say things that we regret
		
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			later. We might make decisions that we regret
		
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			later. We might do things that we regret
		
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			later. We might physically hurt someone when we
		
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			shouldn't have taken that particular measure in that
		
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			particular instance. There's a long list of things
		
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			that happen
		
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			that
		
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			result from our anger when it is not
		
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			balanced.
		
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			Instead as if the prophet is saying, by
		
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			saying, do not become angry, I e, do
		
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			not let your anger get the best of
		
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			you and to do something that is prohibited
		
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			in the Sharia of Sayyidina Muhammad sallallahu alaihi
		
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			wa sallam
		
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			And that in this instance when the prophet
		
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			sallallahu alaihi wa
		
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			sallam
		
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			responded to him multiple times,
		
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			His request once,
		
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			twice, and even a third time. The prophet
		
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			was emphasizing the importance of
		
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			this particular piece of advice,
		
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			and in general that we know the prophet
		
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			used to do this. He used to repeat
		
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			things 3 times
		
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			so his words would be easy to comprehend.
		
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			And when he used to speak, he used
		
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			to speak very deliberately,
		
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			and he would speak slowly.
		
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			His words were easy to comprehend.
		
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			He would speak in a way where it
		
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			was very easy to tell the second idea
		
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			from the first idea
		
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			because
		
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			that he would speak in a way that
		
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			he would finish an idea and then move
		
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			on to the next. His words
		
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			were easily comprehensible
		
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			and that in this particular instance it was
		
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			as a result of being asked multiple times
		
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			and that there is this sense as well,
		
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			potentially,
		
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			that maybe at first the companion thought that
		
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			he actually wanted a little bit more even
		
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			though according to other narration, he asked him
		
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			to be concise,
		
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			meaning, like, kind of like that's it. But
		
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			what we learned from that is and we
		
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			came,
		
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			this comes in another narration as well in
		
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			the collection of Muhammad
		
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			that the Sahabi that asked for the Prophet
		
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			to advise him said that I reflected
		
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			upon what the Prophet said, sallallahu alaihi wa
		
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			sallam, I ila tardab, do not become angry,
		
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			and that I realized
		
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			is that
		
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			anger
		
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			in anger lies all evil,
		
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			or you could say that all evil is
		
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			that lies
		
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			dormant in that the unleashing of someone's anger.
		
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			And so that this is something that we
		
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			all need to get a grip on into
		
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			that control.
		
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			And may Allah to Allah bless us to
		
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			be able to control our anger and have
		
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			our anger to be solely for His sake,
		
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			Subhanahu
		
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			wa Ta'ala.
		
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			And that when we learn to get angry
		
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			solely for our sake Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala,
		
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			getting angry like that is a protection,
		
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			a deen,
		
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			but it has to be balanced.
		
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			But
		
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			lack of anger in relation to that when
		
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			you're supposed to be angry could also lead
		
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			to a number of other vices.
		
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			And, if we go back to this the
		
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			metaphor of
		
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			that protecting yourself
		
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			is that when someone
		
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			is trying to physically harm you and you
		
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			become angry?
		
00:13:32 --> 00:13:34
			Is that when your blood starts to flow
		
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			and all of the physiological changes and the
		
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			psychological changes
		
00:13:38 --> 00:13:40
			happen as a result of becoming angry,
		
00:13:40 --> 00:13:42
			now you're ready to defend yourself,
		
00:13:42 --> 00:13:43
			which you have every right to do so
		
00:13:43 --> 00:13:44
			if you're being attacked, for instance. And, likewise,
		
00:13:44 --> 00:13:45
			when your religion's being attacked, if you're not
		
00:13:45 --> 00:13:45
			angry,
		
00:13:46 --> 00:13:48
			something wrong with you. Just as there's something
		
00:13:48 --> 00:13:49
			wrong with you, if your uncontrollable
		
00:13:50 --> 00:13:50
			anger
		
00:13:56 --> 00:13:59
			leads you to do something which is doing
		
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			nothing other than
		
00:14:01 --> 00:14:01
			confirming
		
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			for that person that might have said that
		
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			what it was that he thought about you
		
00:14:07 --> 00:14:07
			in the first place.
		
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			But to not get angry is also not
		
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			the solution.
		
00:14:11 --> 00:14:13
			That it's you're supposed to be angry,
		
00:14:14 --> 00:14:17
			especially if someone is saying bad things about
		
00:14:17 --> 00:14:19
			your religion or your prophet, but
		
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			you're supposed to channel that into something that
		
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			is meaningful
		
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			and that when we get angry for those
		
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			reasons or that when we see some type
		
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			of facade,
		
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			right, some type of wrong happening
		
00:14:31 --> 00:14:33
			is that by becoming angry
		
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			it creates a barrier between you and that
		
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			wrong,
		
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			and so being angry for the sake of
		
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			Allah is for our own good. It protects
		
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			us.
		
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			Being angry about facade and things that are
		
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			wrong, it protects
		
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			that facade from seeping into your heart. So
		
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			just as it's a protection outwardly,
		
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			it's also
		
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			a protection
		
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			religiously, but we want to strive towards
		
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			is a balance. May Allah
		
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			give us tawfiq.
		
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			So we are on
		
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			chapter
		
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			24 of knowledge and wisdom.
		
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			If you could just read for me, please.
		
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			This is chapter 24
		
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			entitled,
		
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			gentleness from Imam Al Haddad's book, Knowledge and
		
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			Wisdom.
		
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			Know that gentleness is required in all things
		
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			and is encouraged and approved by both sacred
		
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			law and common sense.
		
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			Things can be achieved by gentleness that cannot
		
00:15:48 --> 00:15:51
			even remotely be achieved by severity and coercion.
		
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			Gentleness is the attribute of the wise and
		
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			the compassionate
		
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			amongst those servants of God whom he has
		
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			selected.
		
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			God, the exalted, thus describes his prophet,
		
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			the Lord of mankind. May blessings and peace
		
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			be upon him.
		
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			It was by the mercy of God that
		
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			you were lenient with them. For had you
		
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			been stern in course of heart, they would
		
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			have dispersed from around you. And he says,
		
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			exalted as he,
		
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			hold forgiveness
		
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			and join kindness and turn away from the
		
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			ignorant.
		
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			And
		
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			for the servants of the all merciful are
		
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			those who walk gently upon earth, and and
		
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			when the ignorant addressed him,
		
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			say peace.
		
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			Okay. So this is how he begins his
		
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			chapter on gentleness, and the
		
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			Arabic word for gentleness is rifq. This is
		
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			one of the very beautiful
		
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			character traits of our Prophet
		
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			And that our Prophet indicates to us is
		
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			that
		
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			it is something that when
		
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			you approach a particular matter
		
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			with this great trait of rif,
		
00:16:55 --> 00:16:57
			is that it will adorn that matter.
		
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			And this is very, very important
		
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			to learn
		
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			how to do things, and this is in
		
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			relation to our own selves and how we
		
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			conduct and manage the affairs of our life
		
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			and our household and our livelihood and so
		
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			forth and so on. And this also relates
		
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			to how we are in relation to others.
		
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			And once again, is that all of us
		
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			fall short in these, but it's absolutely important
		
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			for us to learn
		
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			a standard and always remind ourselves of the
		
00:17:26 --> 00:17:28
			way that we want to be. And he
		
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			begins by setting the proper frame,
		
00:17:31 --> 00:17:33
			giving us the correct conception.
		
00:17:33 --> 00:17:35
			And this is the foundational way that we
		
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			must view things and we only
		
00:17:38 --> 00:17:40
			stray away from this to the extent that
		
00:17:40 --> 00:17:42
			it is necessary or you say move away
		
00:17:42 --> 00:17:45
			from it. Know that gentleness is required in
		
00:17:45 --> 00:17:45
			all things
		
00:17:46 --> 00:17:48
			and is encouraged and approved
		
00:17:48 --> 00:17:51
			by both the sacred law and common sense.
		
00:17:52 --> 00:17:54
			Common sense or according
		
00:17:55 --> 00:17:56
			to that good rational
		
00:17:56 --> 00:17:57
			thought.
		
00:17:57 --> 00:18:00
			So this is the foundation of affairs. Anything
		
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			that you can do gently
		
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			you have to do
		
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			and without being firm.
		
00:18:06 --> 00:18:06
			Gentleness
		
00:18:07 --> 00:18:10
			to it takes priority over any other way
		
00:18:10 --> 00:18:11
			of approaching something.
		
00:18:12 --> 00:18:14
			Things can be achieved by gentleness that cannot
		
00:18:14 --> 00:18:18
			even remotely be achieved by severity and coercion.
		
00:18:19 --> 00:18:21
			All you have to do is try in
		
00:18:27 --> 00:18:27
			last.
		
00:18:28 --> 00:18:30
			If you're tough with people and you're too
		
00:18:30 --> 00:18:31
			hard upon them,
		
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			they might think that they're able to bear
		
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			that, but the vast majority of people will
		
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			have a very short period of time that
		
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			they will be able to withstand
		
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			the that that type of treatment. And then
		
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			oftentimes that they will distance themselves or that
		
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			they will find ways to remove themselves from
		
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			whatever it is that they're doing. That gentleness
		
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			is really key, and if you combine that
		
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			with
		
00:18:54 --> 00:18:56
			a number of other virtues,
		
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			that collectively
		
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			you will then be in a position where
		
00:19:01 --> 00:19:04
			you can lead people and correctly manage people.
		
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			But this is one of the most difficult
		
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			things to do.
		
00:19:07 --> 00:19:08
			And that those that are in most need
		
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			of this trait are those who are in
		
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			a position of community
		
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			leadership. For this reason,
		
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			there's a hadith that states that all prophets,
		
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			There is no prophet except that they herded
		
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			sheep,
		
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			goats.
		
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			In other words, is that
		
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			this is something that is not easy to
		
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			do
		
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			and that you have to be gentle in
		
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			the way that you do this. You have
		
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			to be forbearing.
		
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			You have to be wise.
		
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			You have to be patient,
		
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			all of these traits.
		
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			If you're missing any one of them, it
		
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			will take from your ability to truly
		
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			lead other people.
		
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			Gentleness is the attribute of the wise, Allahu
		
00:19:50 --> 00:19:51
			Akbar.
		
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			It is the attribute of the wise
		
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			and the compassionate among those servants of God
		
00:19:59 --> 00:20:00
			whom he has selected.
		
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			So of the wise
		
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			and the compassionate.
		
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			Allah the Exalted
		
00:20:07 --> 00:20:10
			thus describes His Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
		
00:20:10 --> 00:20:12
			in this following way, fabbimaarrahmatin
		
00:20:13 --> 00:20:13
			minallaylentilahum.
		
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			It was by the mercy of Allah that
		
00:20:17 --> 00:20:18
			you were lenient with them.
		
00:20:19 --> 00:20:20
			For if you had been stern
		
00:20:21 --> 00:20:22
			in course of heart,
		
00:20:23 --> 00:20:23
			stern
		
00:20:26 --> 00:20:28
			in course of heart. What would have happened?
		
00:20:30 --> 00:20:32
			They would have dispersed from around you.
		
00:20:33 --> 00:20:34
			This is not the way that our prophet
		
00:20:34 --> 00:20:36
			was, and he wasn't.
		
00:20:38 --> 00:20:40
			And if you even look at these Arabic
		
00:20:40 --> 00:20:41
			words, look at
		
00:20:41 --> 00:20:43
			the way that you pronounce the law.
		
00:20:44 --> 00:20:45
			Sounds like it's
		
00:20:46 --> 00:20:48
			a difficult quality.
		
00:20:48 --> 00:20:49
			That
		
00:20:50 --> 00:20:51
			even saying
		
00:20:51 --> 00:20:52
			the word
		
00:20:52 --> 00:20:54
			that almost hints at
		
00:20:54 --> 00:20:55
			the
		
00:20:55 --> 00:20:57
			difficult nature of this word.
		
00:20:57 --> 00:21:00
			So that follow this to be stern,
		
00:21:00 --> 00:21:03
			and galiid al khalb is to be course
		
00:21:03 --> 00:21:03
			of heart,
		
00:21:04 --> 00:21:05
			whereas
		
00:21:05 --> 00:21:07
			that you're supposed to simultaneously
		
00:21:07 --> 00:21:09
			be soft and hard of heart.
		
00:21:10 --> 00:21:12
			And normally, you speak always of heart or
		
00:21:12 --> 00:21:13
			being hard of heart is a negative thing.
		
00:21:13 --> 00:21:16
			That's in relation to the broadest sense of
		
00:21:16 --> 00:21:17
			being hard of heart.
		
00:21:17 --> 00:21:20
			But that when you think of hardness of
		
00:21:20 --> 00:21:22
			heart in a different sense of
		
00:21:22 --> 00:21:23
			being aslab,
		
00:21:24 --> 00:21:25
			so sayna Adi ibn Abi
		
00:21:26 --> 00:21:27
			Talib said
		
00:21:27 --> 00:21:30
			is that Allah Ta'ala has amongst his creation
		
00:21:31 --> 00:21:32
			ania, containers,
		
00:21:33 --> 00:21:34
			I e the hearts,
		
00:21:34 --> 00:21:36
			And the very best of the hearts
		
00:21:37 --> 00:21:38
			are the asfaha,
		
00:21:39 --> 00:21:41
			the most pure,
		
00:21:43 --> 00:21:44
			and the most firm,
		
00:21:45 --> 00:21:46
			and and
		
00:21:47 --> 00:21:48
			the,
		
00:21:49 --> 00:21:50
			most brittle.
		
00:21:50 --> 00:21:53
			And someone then asked because it seems that
		
00:21:53 --> 00:21:55
			how could the heart it seems to be
		
00:21:55 --> 00:21:56
			a contradiction,
		
00:21:56 --> 00:21:58
			how the heart could be firm and brittle
		
00:21:58 --> 00:22:00
			at the same time. So he explained,
		
00:22:03 --> 00:22:05
			the purest in certainty.
		
00:22:05 --> 00:22:07
			Now someone might say, why
		
00:22:08 --> 00:22:09
			would you describe
		
00:22:09 --> 00:22:12
			why would you connect purity with certainty?
		
00:22:13 --> 00:22:15
			And that's very deep because
		
00:22:16 --> 00:22:18
			at the level of the heart, the greater
		
00:22:18 --> 00:22:20
			the degree of your certainty,
		
00:22:20 --> 00:22:23
			the less thoughts of shaitan you will have
		
00:22:23 --> 00:22:25
			that will muddle your heart.
		
00:22:26 --> 00:22:28
			And so purity is definitely associated
		
00:22:29 --> 00:22:30
			with certainty,
		
00:22:31 --> 00:22:33
			and you'll be able to remain firm
		
00:22:33 --> 00:22:36
			without being muddled by bad thoughts or thoughts
		
00:22:36 --> 00:22:38
			to fall short when there's something else that
		
00:22:38 --> 00:22:40
			you could be doing. But then he said,
		
00:22:40 --> 00:22:41
			Aslaba Fideen,
		
00:22:42 --> 00:22:43
			the firmest in religion.
		
00:22:44 --> 00:22:45
			Nothing makes them waver
		
00:22:46 --> 00:22:48
			from their deen, and one of the greatest
		
00:22:48 --> 00:22:51
			things that makes us waver from our deen
		
00:22:51 --> 00:22:52
			is other people.
		
00:22:53 --> 00:22:56
			How many people that have been destroyed or
		
00:22:56 --> 00:22:57
			allowed themselves
		
00:22:57 --> 00:22:59
			to go down the wrong path because of
		
00:22:59 --> 00:23:00
			other people?
		
00:23:01 --> 00:23:02
			But we need to be firm
		
00:23:02 --> 00:23:05
			and not let the kufr of the kafir
		
00:23:05 --> 00:23:07
			seep into the heart, not let the fisk
		
00:23:07 --> 00:23:09
			of the fasik seep into the heart. We
		
00:23:09 --> 00:23:11
			treat everyone respectfully
		
00:23:11 --> 00:23:13
			and want to be a source of upliftment
		
00:23:13 --> 00:23:14
			for everybody,
		
00:23:14 --> 00:23:16
			but there are times we need to be
		
00:23:16 --> 00:23:16
			firm.
		
00:23:16 --> 00:23:19
			There's times where you need to have the
		
00:23:19 --> 00:23:21
			salaba in your deen
		
00:23:21 --> 00:23:24
			so that you can protect yourself,
		
00:23:24 --> 00:23:25
			And then, say,
		
00:23:28 --> 00:23:31
			is that you have a brittle merciful heart
		
00:23:31 --> 00:23:33
			towards your brethren, towards the believers,
		
00:23:34 --> 00:23:36
			towards people of good, towards people in need,
		
00:23:36 --> 00:23:39
			and so forth and so on. So your
		
00:23:39 --> 00:23:40
			heart simultaneously
		
00:23:40 --> 00:23:41
			can have
		
00:23:41 --> 00:23:44
			all of these different qualities, but as was
		
00:23:44 --> 00:23:46
			the case with our Prophet, were he not
		
00:23:46 --> 00:23:47
			to have been
		
00:23:47 --> 00:23:50
			the opposite of these traits where he was
		
00:23:50 --> 00:23:54
			gentle and he was merciful and empathetic and
		
00:23:54 --> 00:23:56
			compassionate sallallahu alaihi wasalam is that people would
		
00:23:56 --> 00:23:59
			have that disperse from around him.
		
00:23:59 --> 00:24:01
			And then Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says
		
00:24:03 --> 00:24:05
			that hold to forgiveness.
		
00:24:05 --> 00:24:07
			What more bil'orf
		
00:24:07 --> 00:24:08
			Enjoying kindness
		
00:24:10 --> 00:24:11
			and turn away from the ignorant.
		
00:24:12 --> 00:24:14
			Everything we need is in the book of
		
00:24:14 --> 00:24:14
			Allah.
		
00:24:16 --> 00:24:17
			Take to pardon.
		
00:24:17 --> 00:24:18
			Look at the way that Allah
		
00:24:19 --> 00:24:19
			says
		
00:24:20 --> 00:24:21
			this. He doesn't just say
		
00:24:21 --> 00:24:22
			in this verse,
		
00:24:22 --> 00:24:25
			right, he says that take to pardon.
		
00:24:25 --> 00:24:28
			This is something that we have to that
		
00:24:28 --> 00:24:29
			make a part of our lives. It's not
		
00:24:29 --> 00:24:31
			easy to pardon other people.
		
00:24:32 --> 00:24:34
			Some people find it very difficult
		
00:24:35 --> 00:24:36
			to say to accept
		
00:24:36 --> 00:24:37
			someone's apology,
		
00:24:38 --> 00:24:41
			whereas we have to accustom ourselves that if
		
00:24:41 --> 00:24:44
			someone does go low and they are regretful
		
00:24:44 --> 00:24:45
			for what they did,
		
00:24:45 --> 00:24:47
			that we should accept their apology,
		
00:24:48 --> 00:24:50
			and that will only increase us in honor.
		
00:24:50 --> 00:24:52
			And then what more ber'of?
		
00:24:53 --> 00:24:55
			And he translates that here as enjoying kindness,
		
00:24:55 --> 00:24:56
			literally
		
00:24:56 --> 00:24:57
			that,
		
00:24:58 --> 00:24:59
			that command kindness,
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:00
			enjoying kindness,
		
00:25:01 --> 00:25:03
			that make this your way of being.
		
00:25:04 --> 00:25:05
			And then the people that are ignorant,
		
00:25:09 --> 00:25:11
			In other words, is that don't waste your
		
00:25:11 --> 00:25:14
			time arguing with the ignorance. And 'Arabic bin
		
00:25:14 --> 00:25:15
			Nabi Taarib said,
		
00:25:16 --> 00:25:19
			what the people of ignorance are like enemies
		
00:25:19 --> 00:25:20
			to the people of knowledge.
		
00:25:21 --> 00:25:22
			If someone does not even
		
00:25:23 --> 00:25:24
			know
		
00:25:25 --> 00:25:28
			basic principles of how knowledge works and you
		
00:25:28 --> 00:25:31
			try to argue with them, your argument is
		
00:25:31 --> 00:25:33
			going to be futile
		
00:25:34 --> 00:25:36
			because they don't know enough to even even
		
00:25:36 --> 00:25:37
			enter into the argument.
		
00:25:38 --> 00:25:39
			They don't have the same mussalamat,
		
00:25:41 --> 00:25:44
			the the foundations that are agreed upon when
		
00:25:44 --> 00:25:45
			now as well people come to the table
		
00:25:46 --> 00:25:48
			to talk and discuss particular issues. If they
		
00:25:48 --> 00:25:49
			don't have that,
		
00:25:49 --> 00:25:51
			they might just completely disregard something you know
		
00:25:51 --> 00:25:52
			that is sound
		
00:25:53 --> 00:25:55
			in terms of that particular knowledge.
		
00:25:55 --> 00:25:57
			And then we have the verse
		
00:26:01 --> 00:26:03
			hone into the end of the verse where
		
00:26:03 --> 00:26:06
			Allah speaks of the All Merciful who walked
		
00:26:06 --> 00:26:07
			gently upon the earth.
		
00:26:11 --> 00:26:13
			And when the ignorant address them they say
		
00:26:14 --> 00:26:17
			peace, right, either literally that or
		
00:26:18 --> 00:26:19
			that this is their response
		
00:26:20 --> 00:26:22
			to how ignorant people act,
		
00:26:23 --> 00:26:25
			and that sometimes we're just itching.
		
00:26:26 --> 00:26:28
			And many times it's because of a disease
		
00:26:28 --> 00:26:30
			in our heart that when we see ignorance
		
00:26:30 --> 00:26:31
			that I absolutely have to say something.
		
00:26:32 --> 00:26:35
			And oftentimes, it's more about making our point
		
00:26:35 --> 00:26:36
			than it really is
		
00:26:37 --> 00:26:39
			actually addressing the particular situation.
		
00:26:40 --> 00:26:43
			And whenever we enter into a conversation
		
00:26:44 --> 00:26:47
			is that there are 2 different attitudes.
		
00:26:47 --> 00:26:49
			There is a useless attitude and a useful
		
00:26:49 --> 00:26:50
			attitude.
		
00:26:50 --> 00:26:52
			And again, we all fall short in this
		
00:26:52 --> 00:26:54
			that we all have to take ourselves to
		
00:26:54 --> 00:26:56
			a task and that try to do things
		
00:26:56 --> 00:26:57
			appropriately.
		
00:26:58 --> 00:27:00
			The example that they mention is if you
		
00:27:00 --> 00:27:02
			are, for instance, in an airport, you miss
		
00:27:02 --> 00:27:02
			a flight.
		
00:27:03 --> 00:27:04
			You're frustrated.
		
00:27:05 --> 00:27:06
			Maybe the flight got canceled,
		
00:27:06 --> 00:27:08
			so you're waiting in line. It's taking a
		
00:27:08 --> 00:27:10
			long time. You get to the front desk,
		
00:27:11 --> 00:27:11
			and
		
00:27:12 --> 00:27:14
			you have a an agent who's
		
00:27:15 --> 00:27:18
			annoyed for whatever reason, not doing their job
		
00:27:18 --> 00:27:18
			properly.
		
00:27:19 --> 00:27:21
			If you just lash out at that person
		
00:27:21 --> 00:27:23
			and blame them for what the airline did
		
00:27:23 --> 00:27:25
			when it was or it wasn't their fault
		
00:27:25 --> 00:27:27
			and you're rude to them and you speak
		
00:27:27 --> 00:27:28
			to them
		
00:27:28 --> 00:27:28
			coarsely,
		
00:27:29 --> 00:27:31
			the chances of that person helping you are
		
00:27:31 --> 00:27:33
			slim. Yes. They might get you on the
		
00:27:33 --> 00:27:35
			other another flight, but the chances of them
		
00:27:36 --> 00:27:37
			doing you a favor are slim.
		
00:27:38 --> 00:27:41
			Going into any conversation with that is a
		
00:27:41 --> 00:27:43
			what's known as a useless attitude.
		
00:27:43 --> 00:27:46
			A useful attitude is that you go into
		
00:27:46 --> 00:27:47
			every conversation knowing
		
00:27:48 --> 00:27:49
			what it is that you want to get
		
00:27:49 --> 00:27:50
			out of that conversation.
		
00:27:52 --> 00:27:54
			So you that say the right thing and
		
00:27:54 --> 00:27:55
			have the right approach.
		
00:27:56 --> 00:27:58
			It's not their fault that that plane
		
00:27:58 --> 00:28:00
			that took off or was canceled or whatever.
		
00:28:01 --> 00:28:03
			And that if you go into that knowing
		
00:28:03 --> 00:28:06
			that you need to get on another flight
		
00:28:06 --> 00:28:07
			and you're kind to the person,
		
00:28:08 --> 00:28:10
			it very well might be that they do
		
00:28:10 --> 00:28:10
			you a favor
		
00:28:11 --> 00:28:12
			and that they do something for you that
		
00:28:12 --> 00:28:15
			they wouldn't do for something else. And there's
		
00:28:15 --> 00:28:17
			a lot of truth to the idea of
		
00:28:17 --> 00:28:18
			killing someone with kindness,
		
00:28:20 --> 00:28:23
			But this relates to that how we approach
		
00:28:24 --> 00:28:26
			that different people, and this is from the
		
00:28:26 --> 00:28:28
			sunnah of our prophet, sallallahu alaihi wasallam, to
		
00:28:28 --> 00:28:28
			be aware
		
00:28:29 --> 00:28:31
			of the various situations that we find ourselves
		
00:28:31 --> 00:28:31
			in.
		
00:28:34 --> 00:28:37
			And the messenger of God made blessings and
		
00:28:37 --> 00:28:39
			peace be upon him and his family, said,
		
00:28:40 --> 00:28:42
			God is gentle and loves gentleness in all
		
00:28:42 --> 00:28:44
			things. And he
		
00:28:46 --> 00:28:50
			said gentleness never accompanies anything without embellishing it
		
00:28:50 --> 00:28:52
			and is never taken out of anything without
		
00:28:52 --> 00:28:53
			disgracing it.
		
00:28:54 --> 00:28:57
			Gentleness is to manage things with tact, facility,
		
00:28:58 --> 00:28:59
			dignity, and deliberation.
		
00:29:01 --> 00:29:03
			Said that he, may blessings and peace be
		
00:29:03 --> 00:29:05
			upon him, was never given to choose between
		
00:29:05 --> 00:29:08
			2 things, but that he chose the easier
		
00:29:08 --> 00:29:10
			so long as it was not sinful.
		
00:29:10 --> 00:29:12
			But when it was sinful, he was the
		
00:29:12 --> 00:29:13
			remoteness
		
00:29:13 --> 00:29:14
			remoteness
		
00:29:14 --> 00:29:15
			of people from it.
		
00:29:17 --> 00:29:20
			So he is then quotes this hadith of
		
00:29:20 --> 00:29:21
			our prophet
		
00:29:22 --> 00:29:23
			that says that God is gentle
		
00:29:24 --> 00:29:27
			and loves gentleness in all things.
		
00:29:29 --> 00:29:31
			And this is something that also that we
		
00:29:31 --> 00:29:34
			are commanded to bring into our own lives.
		
00:29:34 --> 00:29:36
			This is where our prophet said that gentleness
		
00:29:37 --> 00:29:40
			never accompanies anything without embellishing it and is
		
00:29:40 --> 00:29:43
			never taking out taken out of anything without
		
00:29:44 --> 00:29:45
			disgracing it.
		
00:29:45 --> 00:29:48
			What are the great traits that define what
		
00:29:48 --> 00:29:51
			gentleness really is? This is what Imam Hadad
		
00:29:51 --> 00:29:52
			lists next.
		
00:29:52 --> 00:29:54
			He says it's to manage things with tact,
		
00:29:55 --> 00:29:55
			facility,
		
00:29:56 --> 00:29:56
			dignity,
		
00:29:57 --> 00:29:57
			and deliberation.
		
00:29:58 --> 00:30:00
			The Arabic words for this are the first
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:00
			is
		
00:30:01 --> 00:30:03
			is how he translates tact here,
		
00:30:05 --> 00:30:07
			which he translates here as
		
00:30:08 --> 00:30:09
			that
		
00:30:13 --> 00:30:14
			facility, dignity and deliberation.
		
00:30:16 --> 00:30:17
			And each one of these, you could
		
00:30:18 --> 00:30:18
			go into
		
00:30:19 --> 00:30:20
			a lot of details about.
		
00:30:20 --> 00:30:22
			The first is thought,
		
00:30:23 --> 00:30:26
			and that so no going into anything that
		
00:30:26 --> 00:30:28
			you want to have a gentle approach to
		
00:30:28 --> 00:30:28
			that.
		
00:30:29 --> 00:30:31
			You don't want to force things.
		
00:30:31 --> 00:30:33
			You don't want to give people too much.
		
00:30:35 --> 00:30:37
			You want to make things easy for people.
		
00:30:37 --> 00:30:39
			You want to encourage them. You want to
		
00:30:39 --> 00:30:42
			reward them that, again, you don't want to
		
00:30:42 --> 00:30:43
			put too much on their plate
		
00:30:45 --> 00:30:46
			and with dignity.
		
00:30:46 --> 00:30:49
			Is that these you have to approach things
		
00:30:49 --> 00:30:51
			in the proper way, respectful,
		
00:30:52 --> 00:30:55
			carrying yourself in the right way, not going
		
00:30:55 --> 00:30:57
			low, speaking to people in certain ways.
		
00:30:58 --> 00:30:59
			And with the liberation,
		
00:31:00 --> 00:31:01
			not just acting
		
00:31:01 --> 00:31:02
			impulsively,
		
00:31:02 --> 00:31:05
			not making rash decisions,
		
00:31:05 --> 00:31:06
			thinking things through,
		
00:31:07 --> 00:31:07
			allowing
		
00:31:08 --> 00:31:09
			ideas to settle,
		
00:31:09 --> 00:31:11
			they're giving things time.
		
00:31:11 --> 00:31:12
			This is an amazing.
		
00:31:13 --> 00:31:14
			These are in 4 amazing traits. Each one
		
00:31:14 --> 00:31:16
			of them, if you would really think about
		
00:31:17 --> 00:31:18
			them. And you think about whenever we set
		
00:31:18 --> 00:31:20
			out to accomplish something,
		
00:31:20 --> 00:31:22
			oftentimes, we end up failing
		
00:31:23 --> 00:31:25
			or only have a relative degree of success
		
00:31:25 --> 00:31:26
			because
		
00:31:26 --> 00:31:29
			we fail to exemplify these traits.
		
00:31:30 --> 00:31:32
			And this might be in terms of some
		
00:31:32 --> 00:31:33
			project that we're doing,
		
00:31:34 --> 00:31:35
			something related to
		
00:31:35 --> 00:31:38
			that work that we are paid for.
		
00:31:38 --> 00:31:39
			But these same
		
00:31:40 --> 00:31:40
			principles
		
00:31:41 --> 00:31:42
			that are attributes
		
00:31:43 --> 00:31:45
			apply to relationships as well. How are we
		
00:31:45 --> 00:31:46
			win in our relationships?
		
00:31:48 --> 00:31:50
			And if that the prophet is saying is
		
00:31:50 --> 00:31:50
			that
		
00:31:53 --> 00:31:53
			the
		
00:31:55 --> 00:31:56
			is that,
		
00:31:57 --> 00:32:00
			gentleness never accompanies anything without embellishing it. This
		
00:32:00 --> 00:32:02
			definitely applies to our families as well.
		
00:32:03 --> 00:32:04
			How are we with our families?
		
00:32:05 --> 00:32:07
			That these should be the traits that we
		
00:32:07 --> 00:32:09
			strive for. And every time we fall short,
		
00:32:09 --> 00:32:11
			we take ourselves to task,
		
00:32:11 --> 00:32:13
			We repent to Allah. We apologize, and we
		
00:32:13 --> 00:32:14
			go back to
		
00:32:15 --> 00:32:17
			the commit could the commitment to these principles,
		
00:32:17 --> 00:32:18
			just
		
00:32:20 --> 00:32:20
			gentleness.
		
00:32:22 --> 00:32:25
			And because without gentleness, you will break people,
		
00:32:26 --> 00:32:27
			and that people
		
00:32:28 --> 00:32:31
			are like objects in the sense, even though
		
00:32:31 --> 00:32:33
			we're not robots, we're not like objects, but
		
00:32:33 --> 00:32:35
			they're like objects in a sense that an
		
00:32:35 --> 00:32:36
			object you're using it.
		
00:32:37 --> 00:32:39
			But if you treat it too harshly, what
		
00:32:39 --> 00:32:40
			happens? That object could break.
		
00:32:42 --> 00:32:43
			And people can break.
		
00:32:44 --> 00:32:46
			If you put so much pressure on people,
		
00:32:47 --> 00:32:50
			and you're not gentle, you could break someone.
		
00:32:51 --> 00:32:52
			You could break someone mentally.
		
00:32:53 --> 00:32:54
			People are very sensitive.
		
00:32:55 --> 00:32:56
			We're all sensitive,
		
00:32:57 --> 00:32:59
			and we need to be there for one
		
00:32:59 --> 00:33:02
			another to help each other heal. People can
		
00:33:02 --> 00:33:02
			break,
		
00:33:03 --> 00:33:05
			And the opposite of is also just making
		
00:33:05 --> 00:33:06
			things difficult.
		
00:33:07 --> 00:33:08
			And a difficult person
		
00:33:09 --> 00:33:09
			is
		
00:33:09 --> 00:33:12
			very quick to become angry and very difficult
		
00:33:12 --> 00:33:14
			to please. We talked about that last time
		
00:33:15 --> 00:33:17
			where the the ideal is to be
		
00:33:18 --> 00:33:21
			that very easy to please and it's very
		
00:33:21 --> 00:33:22
			difficult to make you angry,
		
00:33:23 --> 00:33:24
			and then you have people that are somewhere
		
00:33:24 --> 00:33:25
			in between,
		
00:33:26 --> 00:33:28
			But ideally that we want to that
		
00:33:28 --> 00:33:29
			be pleased very easily,
		
00:33:30 --> 00:33:32
			and at the same time that we want
		
00:33:32 --> 00:33:34
			to be very difficult to be made angry.
		
00:33:35 --> 00:33:36
			And then the straight of wokkar,
		
00:33:37 --> 00:33:39
			we carry ourselves in a dignified way.
		
00:33:40 --> 00:33:43
			Sometimes, especially if you're expend spending an extended
		
00:33:43 --> 00:33:45
			period of time with someone,
		
00:33:45 --> 00:33:46
			is that we all of us will start
		
00:33:46 --> 00:33:48
			to say things that we shouldn't really say,
		
00:33:49 --> 00:33:52
			that sometimes that we end up joking about
		
00:33:52 --> 00:33:54
			matters that we shouldn't joke about.
		
00:33:54 --> 00:33:56
			And we think it's funny, but maybe the
		
00:33:56 --> 00:33:59
			other person doesn't think it's funny. And sometimes
		
00:33:59 --> 00:34:01
			there's a little bit of truth in our
		
00:34:01 --> 00:34:01
			jokes,
		
00:34:02 --> 00:34:04
			and we might be hurting that person through
		
00:34:04 --> 00:34:06
			what we think is funny, but it's not
		
00:34:06 --> 00:34:08
			really funny. This is where dignity comes in.
		
00:34:08 --> 00:34:10
			There's certain places we don't go.
		
00:34:11 --> 00:34:12
			There's a base level of respect that we
		
00:34:12 --> 00:34:15
			give to all people. And then this amazing
		
00:34:15 --> 00:34:16
			trait to Adah
		
00:34:17 --> 00:34:18
			of deliberation
		
00:34:19 --> 00:34:21
			in training ourselves to think about
		
00:34:22 --> 00:34:25
			plan b and plan c, to think about
		
00:34:25 --> 00:34:27
			if I do this, then the second or
		
00:34:27 --> 00:34:29
			third thing that's going to come after that.
		
00:34:29 --> 00:34:31
			And strategic thinking,
		
00:34:31 --> 00:34:34
			that thinking of what is going to be
		
00:34:34 --> 00:34:35
			the results if I did a, b, or
		
00:34:35 --> 00:34:38
			c? What are the outcomes of doing a,
		
00:34:38 --> 00:34:40
			b, or c? This is a skill, and
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:42
			you can have a very intelligent person because
		
00:34:42 --> 00:34:44
			there's many different components of intelligence,
		
00:34:45 --> 00:34:47
			but this is one of them. You could
		
00:34:47 --> 00:34:49
			have someone who's has very good fehem. They
		
00:34:49 --> 00:34:53
			understand very quickly. They might have a very
		
00:34:53 --> 00:34:53
			good memory,
		
00:34:54 --> 00:34:56
			but they might not be very good at
		
00:34:56 --> 00:34:56
			deliberation.
		
00:34:57 --> 00:35:00
			They might not be good at applying their
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:02
			knowledge or connecting their knowledge to other things.
		
00:35:02 --> 00:35:04
			There's many components to intelligence,
		
00:35:05 --> 00:35:07
			and one of them is having the ability
		
00:35:07 --> 00:35:07
			to think about the repercussions of various things
		
00:35:07 --> 00:35:08
			that you do. And we can train
		
00:35:13 --> 00:35:14
			attain these skills.
		
00:35:15 --> 00:35:16
			Whenever you have a decision,
		
00:35:17 --> 00:35:19
			you can go through a process of writing
		
00:35:19 --> 00:35:20
			the pros and cons
		
00:35:20 --> 00:35:22
			in really thinking about if I do this
		
00:35:22 --> 00:35:25
			what's going to happen. If I do this,
		
00:35:25 --> 00:35:26
			what's going to happen?
		
00:35:26 --> 00:35:28
			And this becomes very important for taking principled
		
00:35:29 --> 00:35:29
			stances
		
00:35:30 --> 00:35:31
			on certain issues
		
00:35:31 --> 00:35:32
			because you might
		
00:35:33 --> 00:35:35
			come to the conclusion in your mind that
		
00:35:35 --> 00:35:36
			if I do this,
		
00:35:36 --> 00:35:38
			it is probable that it's gonna lead to
		
00:35:38 --> 00:35:39
			a, b, or c, which are negative
		
00:35:40 --> 00:35:45
			Those ultimately were gonna be taken into account
		
00:35:46 --> 00:35:49
			for what it is that we
		
00:35:49 --> 00:35:51
			Those ultimately were gonna be taken into account
		
00:35:51 --> 00:35:53
			for what it is that we do.
		
00:35:56 --> 00:35:57
			Okay. So let's just
		
00:35:59 --> 00:36:01
			let's just take a little bit more.
		
00:36:07 --> 00:36:10
			Those who most particularly need to use gentleness
		
00:36:10 --> 00:36:11
			are those who occupy
		
00:36:12 --> 00:36:15
			high positions of either religious or worldly responsibility.
		
00:36:16 --> 00:36:18
			With gentleness, they can win people over
		
00:36:19 --> 00:36:20
			and adroitly
		
00:36:20 --> 00:36:23
			manage their affairs thus becoming supported
		
00:36:24 --> 00:36:25
			by the majority
		
00:36:25 --> 00:36:27
			and gaining many followers
		
00:36:27 --> 00:36:29
			so that people are able to benefit from
		
00:36:29 --> 00:36:30
			them fully.
		
00:36:30 --> 00:36:33
			In contrast, leaders who set aside gentleness
		
00:36:33 --> 00:36:36
			and take to harshness and force never enjoy
		
00:36:36 --> 00:36:37
			wide support.
		
00:36:37 --> 00:36:39
			Even when some appear to have such support,
		
00:36:40 --> 00:36:42
			it can be no more than superficial
		
00:36:42 --> 00:36:46
			while inwardly while inwardly, there will be hatred,
		
00:36:46 --> 00:36:48
			revulsion, and feelings of oppression.
		
00:36:48 --> 00:36:50
			And that's the reality. That's not the type
		
00:36:51 --> 00:36:52
			of
		
00:36:52 --> 00:36:53
			leader that we want to follow,
		
00:36:54 --> 00:36:55
			someone who's very harsh.
		
00:36:56 --> 00:36:58
			Even if people end up following that person,
		
00:36:58 --> 00:36:59
			is that
		
00:36:59 --> 00:37:02
			many times they will have these feelings in
		
00:37:02 --> 00:37:04
			their heart that just they really won't like
		
00:37:04 --> 00:37:04
			that person,
		
00:37:05 --> 00:37:06
			sometimes hate them,
		
00:37:07 --> 00:37:07
			revulsion.
		
00:37:08 --> 00:37:09
			So,
		
00:37:10 --> 00:37:12
			Kara here is hatred. Ishmael
		
00:37:12 --> 00:37:14
			is just you're just repulsed
		
00:37:14 --> 00:37:15
			by this person
		
00:37:16 --> 00:37:16
			and then
		
00:37:17 --> 00:37:17
			feelings
		
00:37:17 --> 00:37:19
			of oppression is
		
00:37:20 --> 00:37:22
			really you feel heavy. It's just there's a
		
00:37:22 --> 00:37:24
			heavy feeling towards that person.
		
00:37:24 --> 00:37:26
			And when you have a heaviness towards someone,
		
00:37:27 --> 00:37:28
			you don't wanna see them. You try to
		
00:37:28 --> 00:37:30
			avoid them. You don't wanna be in their
		
00:37:30 --> 00:37:31
			presence,
		
00:37:31 --> 00:37:33
			and that's not good. If people are avoiding
		
00:37:33 --> 00:37:34
			you
		
00:37:34 --> 00:37:35
			because
		
00:37:36 --> 00:37:38
			they know how terrible of a person you
		
00:37:38 --> 00:37:40
			are or how harsh you are. That's not
		
00:37:40 --> 00:37:41
			a good sign.
		
00:37:42 --> 00:37:42
			And,
		
00:37:43 --> 00:37:45
			yes, that
		
00:37:45 --> 00:37:47
			it is a balance, and sometimes you have
		
00:37:47 --> 00:37:49
			to take firm positions.
		
00:37:50 --> 00:37:51
			There's no doubt about that.
		
00:37:52 --> 00:37:54
			And, this relates to when you're
		
00:37:54 --> 00:37:56
			dealing with people, but it also
		
00:37:57 --> 00:37:57
			relates
		
00:37:59 --> 00:38:01
			especially if you're dealing with family members, sometimes
		
00:38:01 --> 00:38:03
			you have to be firm on certain things.
		
00:38:03 --> 00:38:04
			There's no doubt about that.
		
00:38:04 --> 00:38:05
			But one,
		
00:38:06 --> 00:38:09
			you usually the scholars, and they actually mentioned
		
00:38:09 --> 00:38:10
			this in the books,
		
00:38:10 --> 00:38:11
			is that
		
00:38:11 --> 00:38:12
			if they're firm
		
00:38:13 --> 00:38:15
			on a particular position, they've made their point
		
00:38:15 --> 00:38:16
			and they were firm.
		
00:38:16 --> 00:38:18
			And then the next time that they will
		
00:38:18 --> 00:38:19
			meet
		
00:38:19 --> 00:38:20
			that person,
		
00:38:20 --> 00:38:21
			is it it's all smiles.
		
00:38:23 --> 00:38:24
			They had to do what they had to
		
00:38:24 --> 00:38:26
			do in that moment because that was the
		
00:38:26 --> 00:38:27
			right thing to do.
		
00:38:27 --> 00:38:28
			And
		
00:38:28 --> 00:38:31
			that Allah only knows whether that person really
		
00:38:31 --> 00:38:33
			was justified in his firmness. Was it from
		
00:38:33 --> 00:38:35
			his nafs or was it from his heart?
		
00:38:35 --> 00:38:36
			Allah knows.
		
00:38:36 --> 00:38:38
			But let's take it at face value that
		
00:38:38 --> 00:38:39
			it was justified.
		
00:38:40 --> 00:38:42
			Then the next time that they see a
		
00:38:42 --> 00:38:43
			person, at that point, it smiles.
		
00:38:44 --> 00:38:47
			And this is the way that our teachers
		
00:38:47 --> 00:38:47
			are with us,
		
00:38:49 --> 00:38:51
			that sometimes you do things that you shouldn't
		
00:38:51 --> 00:38:53
			have done. You go into their presence and
		
00:38:54 --> 00:38:56
			you're inspired by the
		
00:38:56 --> 00:38:59
			enlightened heart of that individual to repent for
		
00:38:59 --> 00:39:00
			it is that you've done, and you feel
		
00:39:00 --> 00:39:02
			bad for what it is that you've done.
		
00:39:02 --> 00:39:05
			And sometimes their presence is enough, And other
		
00:39:05 --> 00:39:07
			times, they hint at things in their discourse,
		
00:39:07 --> 00:39:09
			and then you get the point. And then
		
00:39:09 --> 00:39:09
			rarely
		
00:39:10 --> 00:39:12
			do they ever actually mention something to you
		
00:39:12 --> 00:39:12
			explicitly.
		
00:39:13 --> 00:39:15
			But then the next time that they see
		
00:39:15 --> 00:39:18
			you, that you oftentimes find that there's a
		
00:39:18 --> 00:39:18
			smile
		
00:39:18 --> 00:39:21
			as in there, because the whole point of
		
00:39:21 --> 00:39:22
			them being there is to help you,
		
00:39:23 --> 00:39:25
			and they are like spiritual
		
00:39:25 --> 00:39:26
			parents
		
00:39:26 --> 00:39:27
			that parents
		
00:39:28 --> 00:39:30
			usually don't just give up on their kids,
		
00:39:30 --> 00:39:32
			is that they tolerate their mistakes, and they're
		
00:39:32 --> 00:39:33
			in it
		
00:39:33 --> 00:39:34
			for the long term
		
00:39:35 --> 00:39:35
			with their kids.
		
00:39:36 --> 00:39:38
			And this is the way that spiritual teachers
		
00:39:38 --> 00:39:39
			are as well that are giving tarbia
		
00:39:40 --> 00:39:43
			and helping their students refine their character is
		
00:39:43 --> 00:39:45
			that they're very tolerant with them. They're very
		
00:39:45 --> 00:39:46
			empathetic.
		
00:39:46 --> 00:39:49
			They're very patient. They're very forbearing.
		
00:39:49 --> 00:39:50
			They're very gentle.
		
00:39:50 --> 00:39:52
			And that if they're firm at all in
		
00:39:52 --> 00:39:55
			a particular time, then they come back around.
		
00:39:55 --> 00:39:56
			And usually the next time you see them,
		
00:39:56 --> 00:39:57
			they're very gentle
		
00:39:58 --> 00:39:59
			because their job is to uplift you and
		
00:39:59 --> 00:40:01
			to help you better yourself. And so these
		
00:40:01 --> 00:40:04
			are the jewels of wisdom,
		
00:40:04 --> 00:40:06
			in these books that we need to bring
		
00:40:06 --> 00:40:08
			into our lives. And if we do, is
		
00:40:08 --> 00:40:10
			that we will find that people
		
00:40:10 --> 00:40:12
			around us respond very differently.
		
00:40:12 --> 00:40:15
			We'll find that we can achieve many of
		
00:40:15 --> 00:40:16
			our goals that we are seeking to achieve
		
00:40:17 --> 00:40:17
			in whatever
		
00:40:17 --> 00:40:19
			that realm that we are in when we
		
00:40:19 --> 00:40:21
			exemplify these great traits, bless
		
00:40:22 --> 00:40:24
			us to be people of rikh, of gentleness,
		
00:40:25 --> 00:40:26
			and bless us to be able to follow
		
00:40:26 --> 00:40:27
			the sunnah of our prophet.
		
00:40:29 --> 00:40:31
			Fill our hearts with the love of Allah
		
00:40:32 --> 00:40:33
			and the love of his beloved prophet.
		
00:40:35 --> 00:40:37
			May we live and die upon that, and
		
00:40:37 --> 00:40:39
			may we have all of our affairs taken
		
00:40:39 --> 00:40:41
			care of. May Allah grant relief to the
		
00:40:41 --> 00:40:41
			Ummah of Sayyid Muhammad.