Waleed Basyouni – What Advice Can You Give Me To Help My Daughter That Has OCD – Ask The Imam

AI: Summary ©
The mother and her daughter discuss their struggles with OCD and shth refrigeration, as well as their struggles with shak’e. They emphasize the importance of praying for their daughter's success and focusing on their own success. The speaker advises avoiding thoughts like adhan sh heads and shaytan, and reminds people to avoid spilling water on their skin and not even considering their actions. They also suggest avoiding feeling like they are weak and not worth it, and to avoid feeling like they are wet or their clothes are wet. A new therapist will help people with their problems.
AI: Summary ©
As-salamu alaykum Shaykh.
Walaykum as-salam.
We have a question from a concerned mother
about her daughter.
Her daughter is probably diagnosed with OCD and
what she does is she finds it's very
difficult to let's say go to the shower
and she spends a long time in the
shower.
She washes her hand multiple times to the
point where she became very like fearful of
going to the restroom or going to the
shower or the bathroom and sometimes she it
takes her two months to take a shower
or three months and it becomes very very
difficult on them.
Also, she points out that there's depression issues
and overthinking issues on her part so she's
trying to seek our help in understanding what
she can do in this Islamically or otherwise.
Yes.
Bismillah, alhamdulillah, wa salatu was salamu ala Rasool
Allah, wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa man
wala.
First of all, I ask Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala by his names and attributes to
heal your daughter and all those who are
suffering from waswasa, this type of disorder and
this is an something that diagnosed, treated, nothing
new.
We know about it from our religion, medical
and field is also known and well defined
and the good news is there is a
treatment for it in our religion and also
in among professional psychologists and psychiatrists and therapists
so definitely one of the things I will
say you should also seek help from professional
therapists to help you know you to help
your daughter whoever you know who's suffering from
this because it's really suffering.
I've seen people stay hours and hours in
the bathroom you know make them hate salah,
hate ghusl, you know don't do anything just
because you know you just suffer.
You pray multiple times, it takes them hours
to finish one salah and they end up
leaving the sun.
That's what the shaitan does.
He tried to make things difficult.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make things easy
and shaitan make it difficult.
So he play with your head and make
you repeat and repeat because he want you
to quit in the end or not to
concentrate or to make it wrong because as
you know if you pray dhuhr five times,
that's haram, it's not dhuhr and if you
make dhuhr wrong way that's not correct too.
So the shaitan trying to do whatever it
takes to ruin your salah but the good
news is this and hear me out.
The good news is that this is considered
a case of sickness and people who are
sick are excused like I must stand up
in salah when I pray but if my
legs hurt and I can't stand up, I
cannot make ruku, I cannot make sujood, I'm
allowed to do it while I'm sitting.
If I cannot use water because I have
a skin disease, I'm allowed to do tayammum,
use the sand.
So I'm excused from this.
Whatever I cannot do it, I'm excused from
doing it and the same thing here when
it comes to the waswasal.
Those people who are sick, we're not asking
them to verify.
Just keep it in your head.
You're not supposed to verify.
So if the thought comes to you and
said, oh you didn't wash your hand, no
problem, just move on.
Yeah but look it's dry.
It's okay, even if it's dry.
Go to the hair.
Oh but you didn't do the hair.
So go to the feet.
Oh your wudhu is not complete.
Doesn't matter.
Just the key point, don't do it again.
Because what's the point?
The point is you want your salah.
I'm telling you your salah is accepted.
But what if even if you did not
make your wudhu correct, you're still excused.
Even if you pray dhuhr three times, it's
still valid.
Why?
Because you're excused.
You're mureed.
So don't worry about these thoughts.
It's just that's why Nabi shah Salaam said,
falwal yantahi.
Whenever you say adhan shatarajeem and yantahi, you
don't even consider it.
And the shurah al hadid, so many scholars
comment that this is the key point.
The key point is you don't ever ever
entertain the thoughts.
Because these thoughts are not from Allah.
Just think about it this way or put
it in this frame.
Allah SWT wants the best for us, want
ease for us.
What you're doing to yourself is suffering.
That's true.
That cannot be from Allah.
It is from the shaytan.
And shaytan doesn't care about your salah to
be correct.
Shaytan is not, you know what, it's not
like an advisor for you to make wudhu
correct.
No, no.
He might claim nasihan amin, but he's not.
Inna alakum adoo, Allah said.
He's your enemy.
So whatever thoughts that comes to your head
is not from Allah, not from the angels.
It's from the shaytan.
That's why you call it waswasa.
And that's why you need to understand when
it comes to you, these kind of thoughts,
you completely go to the opposite.
Say adhan shatarajeem.
That's why in the sunnah of the hadith,
when these kind of thoughts comes, you blow
on your left hand side.
What blow it is, it also signifies that
how weak the shaytan is.
Just like this and he's away.
It's not even worth, that's why you spit
on your left.
It's not worth anything to pay attention to
it.
Just keep that in mind.
I know it is easy to be said,
very hard for people who have this problem.
But all what I'm asking you, just one
thing, don't do it again.
Don't do it.
And if you just stop, no matter how,
it's clear it doesn't matter until you get
rid of this completely.
And subhanAllah, when you put this, it starts
appearing in other area.
People can have the wudhu.
Then when I give them this advice, they
said, okay, now the wudhu is fine.
But now takbir, Allahu Akbar, Akbar.
Then now in salah, now in ruku, now
in raka, now in this.
And the shaytan gonna keep trying, keep trying.
That's why Nabi salallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
the shaytan comes and sometimes he blow between
your legs.
You feel like air, just to confuse you.
Sometimes you feel wetness.
Oh, I feel like my thighs are wet
or my clothes are wet.
Don't.
And it does happen.
Yeah.
So you know what?
Just don't look at it.
You know, go with it.
Especially if you have this kind of things,
don't even think about it.
That's why once Imam Ahmed, somebody said, he
said to someone, take water and spray it
on your thigh and your throat.
Why?
So the shaytan will not come to say,
oh look, there's a drop here.
You will not even tell the difference.
Just to make him feel like, I don't
need to think about it.
I didn't look at it.
Umar radiallahu anhu was walking on the street
and water came from, there is a gutter
in the top of the house for rain,
whatever.
And sometimes these gutters, also people maybe have
something not proper or whatever.
Right.
And it fall and touches.
Umar radiallahu anhu told the man, don't even
think about it.
Keep going.
It is Taha.
Because if you open this door, what if,
what if, you're not going to end.
Continue your prayer, continue your wudu, just urge
the regime and make sure that also you
go to therapy.
Because this is, can be manifested in different
areas outside the religion as well.
Right.
It impact your work, it impact your study,
impact your life.
Every day you have to go down, for
example, to close the gas or the lights.
You know, there are some people go back
to the garage to close the garage five
times and drive a long distance just to
do stuff like that.
Because they always keep thinking, what if, what
if.
Even with your kids, it became a'zab.
And I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
to make it easy for those who suffering
with this.
And don't be shamed of it, of going
and seeking a professional help.
Here in the masjid, alhamdulillah, we have, you
know, a new therapist who will be able
to help.
In, you know, in our community, there's a
lot of therapists, Muslims, non-Muslims alike, you
know, who will help you, inshallah, with this
challenge you have.
But remember the golden advice from the Prophet
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, don't think about it,
don't pay attention to it, move on with
your wudu.
Yes, and I just did a simple search
and it gives you ideas on how to
seek, you know, the help of a therapist.
Even online, even some people do it for
free.
You know, join, you know, therapy communities and
things like this.
It's available.
So the idea is take action and follow
the advice of the Sheikh because I saw
a lot of logic in what he said
where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala doesn't want
to make it difficult on you, so whatever
is on your mind is probably from the
Shaitaan, and so remove it and move on,
inshallah.