Waleed Basyouni – What Advice Can You Give Me To Help My Daughter That Has OCD – Ask The Imam

Waleed Basyouni
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The mother and her daughter discuss their struggles with OCD and shth refrigeration, as well as their struggles with shak’e. They emphasize the importance of praying for their daughter's success and focusing on their own success. The speaker advises avoiding thoughts like adhan sh heads and shaytan, and reminds people to avoid spilling water on their skin and not even considering their actions. They also suggest avoiding feeling like they are weak and not worth it, and to avoid feeling like they are wet or their clothes are wet. A new therapist will help people with their problems.

AI: Summary ©

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			As-salamu alaykum Shaykh.
		
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			Walaykum as-salam.
		
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			We have a question from a concerned mother
		
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			about her daughter.
		
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			Her daughter is probably diagnosed with OCD and
		
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			what she does is she finds it's very
		
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			difficult to let's say go to the shower
		
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			and she spends a long time in the
		
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			shower.
		
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			She washes her hand multiple times to the
		
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			point where she became very like fearful of
		
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			going to the restroom or going to the
		
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			shower or the bathroom and sometimes she it
		
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			takes her two months to take a shower
		
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			or three months and it becomes very very
		
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			difficult on them.
		
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			Also, she points out that there's depression issues
		
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			and overthinking issues on her part so she's
		
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			trying to seek our help in understanding what
		
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			she can do in this Islamically or otherwise.
		
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			Yes.
		
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			Bismillah, alhamdulillah, wa salatu was salamu ala Rasool
		
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			Allah, wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa man
		
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			wala.
		
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			First of all, I ask Allah subhanahu wa
		
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			ta'ala by his names and attributes to
		
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			heal your daughter and all those who are
		
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			suffering from waswasa, this type of disorder and
		
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			this is an something that diagnosed, treated, nothing
		
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			new.
		
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			We know about it from our religion, medical
		
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			and field is also known and well defined
		
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			and the good news is there is a
		
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			treatment for it in our religion and also
		
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			in among professional psychologists and psychiatrists and therapists
		
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			so definitely one of the things I will
		
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			say you should also seek help from professional
		
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			therapists to help you know you to help
		
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			your daughter whoever you know who's suffering from
		
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			this because it's really suffering.
		
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			I've seen people stay hours and hours in
		
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			the bathroom you know make them hate salah,
		
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			hate ghusl, you know don't do anything just
		
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			because you know you just suffer.
		
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			You pray multiple times, it takes them hours
		
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			to finish one salah and they end up
		
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			leaving the sun.
		
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			That's what the shaitan does.
		
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			He tried to make things difficult.
		
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			Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make things easy
		
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			and shaitan make it difficult.
		
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			So he play with your head and make
		
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			you repeat and repeat because he want you
		
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			to quit in the end or not to
		
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			concentrate or to make it wrong because as
		
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			you know if you pray dhuhr five times,
		
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			that's haram, it's not dhuhr and if you
		
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			make dhuhr wrong way that's not correct too.
		
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			So the shaitan trying to do whatever it
		
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			takes to ruin your salah but the good
		
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			news is this and hear me out.
		
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			The good news is that this is considered
		
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			a case of sickness and people who are
		
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			sick are excused like I must stand up
		
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			in salah when I pray but if my
		
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			legs hurt and I can't stand up, I
		
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			cannot make ruku, I cannot make sujood, I'm
		
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			allowed to do it while I'm sitting.
		
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			If I cannot use water because I have
		
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			a skin disease, I'm allowed to do tayammum,
		
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			use the sand.
		
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			So I'm excused from this.
		
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			Whatever I cannot do it, I'm excused from
		
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			doing it and the same thing here when
		
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			it comes to the waswasal.
		
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			Those people who are sick, we're not asking
		
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			them to verify.
		
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			Just keep it in your head.
		
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			You're not supposed to verify.
		
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			So if the thought comes to you and
		
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			said, oh you didn't wash your hand, no
		
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			problem, just move on.
		
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			Yeah but look it's dry.
		
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			It's okay, even if it's dry.
		
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			Go to the hair.
		
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			Oh but you didn't do the hair.
		
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			So go to the feet.
		
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			Oh your wudhu is not complete.
		
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			Doesn't matter.
		
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			Just the key point, don't do it again.
		
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			Because what's the point?
		
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			The point is you want your salah.
		
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			I'm telling you your salah is accepted.
		
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			But what if even if you did not
		
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			make your wudhu correct, you're still excused.
		
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			Even if you pray dhuhr three times, it's
		
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			still valid.
		
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			Why?
		
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			Because you're excused.
		
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			You're mureed.
		
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			So don't worry about these thoughts.
		
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			It's just that's why Nabi shah Salaam said,
		
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			falwal yantahi.
		
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			Whenever you say adhan shatarajeem and yantahi, you
		
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			don't even consider it.
		
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			And the shurah al hadid, so many scholars
		
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			comment that this is the key point.
		
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			The key point is you don't ever ever
		
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			entertain the thoughts.
		
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			Because these thoughts are not from Allah.
		
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			Just think about it this way or put
		
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			it in this frame.
		
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			Allah SWT wants the best for us, want
		
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			ease for us.
		
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			What you're doing to yourself is suffering.
		
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			That's true.
		
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			That cannot be from Allah.
		
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			It is from the shaytan.
		
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			And shaytan doesn't care about your salah to
		
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			be correct.
		
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			Shaytan is not, you know what, it's not
		
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			like an advisor for you to make wudhu
		
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			correct.
		
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			No, no.
		
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			He might claim nasihan amin, but he's not.
		
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			Inna alakum adoo, Allah said.
		
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			He's your enemy.
		
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			So whatever thoughts that comes to your head
		
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			is not from Allah, not from the angels.
		
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			It's from the shaytan.
		
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			That's why you call it waswasa.
		
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			And that's why you need to understand when
		
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			it comes to you, these kind of thoughts,
		
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			you completely go to the opposite.
		
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			Say adhan shatarajeem.
		
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			That's why in the sunnah of the hadith,
		
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			when these kind of thoughts comes, you blow
		
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			on your left hand side.
		
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			What blow it is, it also signifies that
		
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			how weak the shaytan is.
		
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			Just like this and he's away.
		
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			It's not even worth, that's why you spit
		
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			on your left.
		
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			It's not worth anything to pay attention to
		
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			it.
		
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			Just keep that in mind.
		
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			I know it is easy to be said,
		
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			very hard for people who have this problem.
		
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			But all what I'm asking you, just one
		
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			thing, don't do it again.
		
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			Don't do it.
		
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			And if you just stop, no matter how,
		
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			it's clear it doesn't matter until you get
		
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			rid of this completely.
		
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			And subhanAllah, when you put this, it starts
		
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			appearing in other area.
		
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			People can have the wudhu.
		
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			Then when I give them this advice, they
		
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			said, okay, now the wudhu is fine.
		
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			But now takbir, Allahu Akbar, Akbar.
		
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			Then now in salah, now in ruku, now
		
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			in raka, now in this.
		
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			And the shaytan gonna keep trying, keep trying.
		
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			That's why Nabi salallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
		
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			the shaytan comes and sometimes he blow between
		
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			your legs.
		
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			You feel like air, just to confuse you.
		
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			Sometimes you feel wetness.
		
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			Oh, I feel like my thighs are wet
		
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			or my clothes are wet.
		
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			Don't.
		
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			And it does happen.
		
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			Yeah.
		
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			So you know what?
		
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			Just don't look at it.
		
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			You know, go with it.
		
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			Especially if you have this kind of things,
		
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			don't even think about it.
		
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			That's why once Imam Ahmed, somebody said, he
		
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			said to someone, take water and spray it
		
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			on your thigh and your throat.
		
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			Why?
		
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			So the shaytan will not come to say,
		
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			oh look, there's a drop here.
		
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			You will not even tell the difference.
		
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			Just to make him feel like, I don't
		
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			need to think about it.
		
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			I didn't look at it.
		
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			Umar radiallahu anhu was walking on the street
		
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			and water came from, there is a gutter
		
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			in the top of the house for rain,
		
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			whatever.
		
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			And sometimes these gutters, also people maybe have
		
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			something not proper or whatever.
		
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			Right.
		
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			And it fall and touches.
		
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			Umar radiallahu anhu told the man, don't even
		
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			think about it.
		
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			Keep going.
		
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			It is Taha.
		
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			Because if you open this door, what if,
		
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			what if, you're not going to end.
		
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			Continue your prayer, continue your wudu, just urge
		
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			the regime and make sure that also you
		
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			go to therapy.
		
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			Because this is, can be manifested in different
		
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			areas outside the religion as well.
		
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			Right.
		
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			It impact your work, it impact your study,
		
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			impact your life.
		
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			Every day you have to go down, for
		
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			example, to close the gas or the lights.
		
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			You know, there are some people go back
		
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			to the garage to close the garage five
		
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			times and drive a long distance just to
		
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			do stuff like that.
		
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			Because they always keep thinking, what if, what
		
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			if.
		
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			Even with your kids, it became a'zab.
		
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			And I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
		
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			to make it easy for those who suffering
		
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			with this.
		
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			And don't be shamed of it, of going
		
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			and seeking a professional help.
		
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			Here in the masjid, alhamdulillah, we have, you
		
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			know, a new therapist who will be able
		
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			to help.
		
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			In, you know, in our community, there's a
		
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			lot of therapists, Muslims, non-Muslims alike, you
		
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			know, who will help you, inshallah, with this
		
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			challenge you have.
		
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			But remember the golden advice from the Prophet
		
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			sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, don't think about it,
		
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			don't pay attention to it, move on with
		
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			your wudu.
		
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			Yes, and I just did a simple search
		
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			and it gives you ideas on how to
		
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			seek, you know, the help of a therapist.
		
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			Even online, even some people do it for
		
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			free.
		
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			You know, join, you know, therapy communities and
		
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			things like this.
		
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			It's available.
		
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			So the idea is take action and follow
		
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			the advice of the Sheikh because I saw
		
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			a lot of logic in what he said
		
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			where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala doesn't want
		
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			to make it difficult on you, so whatever
		
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			is on your mind is probably from the
		
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			Shaitaan, and so remove it and move on,
		
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			inshallah.