Waleed Basyouni – Impact of Social Media on Youth- TikTok Trends Morality & Parenting Tips

Waleed Basyouni
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The speakers discuss trends in media that limit exposure to children at risk, including Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. They suggest limiting exposure to certain age groups and avoiding certain media. The speakers also emphasize the importance of managing children, including controlling time spent and avoiding certain media. They discuss how kids become normalized and normalized, and how they can become so in various ways.

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			As-salamu alaykum Shaykh Wareed.
		
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			Wa alaykum as-salam.
		
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			We have a really, a question, I think
		
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			this question was, I found this in the
		
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			suggestion box, and I think it's posted by
		
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			one of our youth, and it seems probably
		
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			one of those like middle school students.
		
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			My question is this, whether this is allowed
		
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			or not.
		
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			I'm not sure.
		
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			Is it allowed to watch it?
		
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			So, kids have been, you know, talking to
		
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			each other like this and joking about it.
		
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			And, you know, I know one of the
		
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			kids that I know, she calls herself Sigma.
		
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			She's the Sigma, which means like it is
		
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			a popular person, but obscure, like in hiding.
		
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			But she's popular, or he's popular, instead of
		
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			alpha.
		
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			And, you know, these are trends from, you
		
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			know, TikToks.
		
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			And kids, what I'm seeing is like this
		
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			has turned into a culture.
		
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			And kids sometimes become a little more opinionated,
		
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			which is okay to be opinionated, but then
		
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			with an attitude, you tell them, hey, it's
		
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			time for prayer.
		
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			And they say, oh, we're rebellious.
		
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			You don't tell us what to do, things
		
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			of that nature.
		
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			And I'm not trying to show that this
		
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			is what they mean by it, but they
		
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			say they keep joking about it.
		
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			And obviously, it is in our community, because
		
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			this question is posted in our community.
		
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			So, what do you think of all these
		
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			trends and the effects of TikTok and social
		
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			media and Instagram and these trends that happen
		
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			and faster than we can ever track?
		
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			First of all, let me start with the
		
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			programs that are available on TVs, on Netflix,
		
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			on YouTube, on social media in relation to
		
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			cartoon characters and stories like that, or even
		
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			songs.
		
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			I remember Sheikh Mohammed Sharif, I had a
		
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			lecture, it's called Third Parent.
		
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			Wow.
		
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			The Third Parent, which is TV.
		
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			Our children sometimes are taught by TV and
		
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			by social media way more than us.
		
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			Yeah.
		
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			You know, there is a study I read
		
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			a long time ago that an average parent,
		
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			an average father, spends like 15 minutes, something
		
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			like that a week or a day, sorry,
		
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			with his children.
		
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			And I think way less than that.
		
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			And I think it's way less than that
		
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			right now.
		
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			We don't spend much quality time with our
		
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			children.
		
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			And I challenge you, and I ask you,
		
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			try to look how many minutes you have
		
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			spent with your children last yesterday.
		
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			Just try to figure it out.
		
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			Most of the people I ask, they don't
		
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			have that concept at dinner together.
		
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			And I'm talking about kids in elementary school.
		
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			We don't spend time with them.
		
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			So if we don't spend time with them,
		
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			who spends more time with them?
		
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			It's the one who make these movies and
		
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			make these, you know, songs and start these
		
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			trends.
		
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			And those people, they don't look for the
		
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			best interest of your children.
		
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			That's very true.
		
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			They look for money, they look for fame,
		
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			and some of them even to corrupt, to
		
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			share the corruption idea that they have.
		
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			And all of a sudden you find, how's
		
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			my daughter thinking this way?
		
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			How my son's daughter think this way?
		
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			It is because of what they've been exposed
		
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			to day and night.
		
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			Then you come here to try to fix
		
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			the situation.
		
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			And it became much, much harder, as we
		
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			know, al-Fuqaha, may Allah have mercy on
		
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			him, talked about, Muslims scholars, long time ago,
		
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			prevention better than cure.
		
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			Much easier than cure.
		
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			You know?
		
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			So, let me say what I do now.
		
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			It's too late.
		
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			My kids are exposed to these things.
		
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			So if your kid's not exposed fully to
		
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			these things, make sure that you limit the
		
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			amount of time.
		
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			You know, in some countries, they are talking
		
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			now about limiting the amount of hours children
		
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			can be exposed to screens, regardless what it
		
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			is.
		
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			It's a phone, or it is a tablet,
		
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			or it is a TV.
		
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			Some countries now, they want to say, before
		
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			two years old, it's not allowed to let
		
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			them exposed to TV series and watch.
		
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			There's a lot of talks about this.
		
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			So, I think, if they are young, and
		
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			this is something you can control, go ahead
		
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			and do that.
		
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			And control it in a way that it
		
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			is moderate.
		
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			Control how many hours they spend.
		
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			Not only that, don't think because it's a
		
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			children program, not because it's a YouTube for
		
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			kids, it means it's really good.
		
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			And it's safe.
		
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			That's not the case.
		
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			Or because you put a parent in, like,
		
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			watch.
		
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			That's a good tool to have, but it's
		
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			not 100%.
		
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			And be very careful of what they learn.
		
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			Because sometimes they learn, kufr, shirk, bad manners,
		
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			you know, just for them to be so
		
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			numb to the fact of girlfriend's boyfriend.
		
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			Normalize it.
		
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			Normalize it completely.
		
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			Kissing.
		
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			You know?
		
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			They became so normalized that, and we see
		
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			this in our masjid, you know, in Ramadan,
		
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			and you see the girls and the boys
		
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			in high school, they don't feel any problem
		
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			of hanging out together and being so close
		
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			to each other versus generation before that.
		
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			Just too close to the woman.
		
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			It feels like, okay, you know, I have
		
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			to give her a space.
		
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			There's a privacy.
		
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			Now they don't feel anything, any wrong with
		
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			that.
		
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			I think because they're so used to this
		
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			kind of images, this used kind of, you
		
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			know, and basically, no haya.
		
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			It doesn't matter what show from my body,
		
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			because I always see this as a norm.
		
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			Not only they are stars.
		
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			They are like cool.
		
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			They are character and so on.
		
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			Even shirk, this is a true story.
		
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			Okay, it might be a little bit old,
		
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			but we can make it relevant.
		
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			So one of the brother, he doesn't have
		
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			a TV in his house, long time ago,
		
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			like when I was growing up.
		
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			So his son is always exposed to Islamic
		
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			stuff and, you know, even if you go
		
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			online.
		
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			So one day his son was mixing with
		
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			a group of kids.
		
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			So every one of these kids start mentioning
		
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			of these cartoon characters.
		
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			You know, send the bad guy, there's all
		
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			these characters, all of them.
		
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			And this kid's turn came in a public
		
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			school and he doesn't know anyone.
		
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			Then he said, better or something like that,
		
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			you know, that was just sort of Quran,
		
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			you see.
		
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			That's so innocent, but it shows the purity
		
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			of the heart.
		
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			And I'm not saying I don't want your
		
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			kids to know what's going on in the
		
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			world, but also just don't trust because it's
		
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			PG-13.
		
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			It means early PG.
		
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			PG doesn't mean PG, you know.
		
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			Be very careful what you are exposing your
		
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			children to.
		
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			The standard of morality is not according to
		
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			Hollywood.
		
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			It's not according to Disney.
		
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			It is according to what Allah has told
		
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			you because we are responsible for that, especially
		
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			teaching them good manners, good principles of life.
		
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			So I'm glad you brought this up.
		
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			I can't really comment on the specific, but
		
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			the concept, I'm glad that we're able to
		
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			create an awareness about this issue and we
		
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			talk more about it, watch it, you know,
		
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			try to listen to what they do and
		
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			don't be just passive about it.
		
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			Perhaps we can have, you know, a lecture
		
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			detailing all of this.
		
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			Yeah, maybe we can bring an expert to
		
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			even speak about that.
		
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			Yeah, you know, TikTok has been known to
		
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			have, you know, a very, very strong influence
		
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			on people.
		
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			I believe you should not let your kids
		
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			download TikTok, period.
		
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			Yeah.
		
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			You know, if there are any, because even
		
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			me, sometimes I get questions answering TikTok and
		
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			stuff like that.
		
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			I don't use it much, but even me,
		
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			I don't open it.
		
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			I have some people who manage it because
		
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			every time you open it, the TikTok is
		
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			one of these social media that, let's say
		
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			I follow Sheikh Ibrahim on YouTube.
		
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			I always get Sheikh Ibrahim, get Islamic stuff
		
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			and everything, but in TikTok it's not the
		
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			case.
		
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			You always get weird things.
		
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			So out of the blue, you're almost exposed
		
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			to things which is haram and disgusting and
		
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			a thing of that nature.
		
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			You know, so can you imagine your kids,
		
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			how can you feel safe for your kids
		
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			to be exposed to something like that?
		
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			Jazakallah khair.
		
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			Barakallah fiak, Sheikh.
		
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			I think we will have to actually talk
		
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			more about this topic, inshallah.
		
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			Jazakallah khair.