Waleed Basyouni – Excellence and Flaws Series 08
AI: Summary ©
The segment discusses common misunderstandings of Islam habit, including double hises, double earns, and the "has been in a double hadeeth" concept. The speakers emphasize the importance of avoiding assumptions and false accusations in order to avoid becoming suspicious and avoid losing jobs or important family members. They also stress the need for caution and avoiding double-stuff in relationships. The speakers provide examples of common assumptions and advise caution and avoiding double-stuff.
AI: Summary ©
hamdu Lillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Allah alayhi wa sahbihi woman who had a bad
habit of natural Bahama hola the following Heidi
is Hurry, hurry hurry, Allahu Allahu. So, talk about the chapter of a warning against
bad character characteristic traits.
This head is Part A Part A never use a long title sort of lifestyle alone he was seldom Yakumo been in a one x double Hadeeth devanahalli abora or the aligner ated that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said avoid suspicion for suspicion is the most false form of talk the most false form of talk or the worst form of lying Also, you can translate it and you can use a voice suspicion or assumption or assumption
for suspicion or assumption is the most form of lying or the most false form of talk. This report is available hardy Muslim and it is part of a bigger longer Hadith. So, the whole entire text goes like this. What are the hazards So, while at 10, Joshua Walla,
Walla
Walla, Baro work una vida de la jolla one and he's going to repeat this hadith in the next chapter, talk about good manners. But when Arthur has such a need, do not try the hustlers
is basically
the hustlers it means that you try to figure things out to find out about people kind of spying on people. Okay. And while I tend joshu a tener nefesh It's a form of
basically in English is when you go to auction, okay. And we were about to buy a car, then
the doctor want to buy this car and I know he wants this car so badly. And I know that so what I do, I go to him and I said when the doctor put the pet in a $10,000 you raise it, say 11,000
so he wants a car see what he will do you say 11 511 700 and the I he raised the price he has no interest in buying it only to make this person pay more for it. This is what the negotiation that's how long in Islam? It is how long unfortunately do that an auction? And he said well Arthur has said do and do not envy one another one at about level don't hate one another. Why not at the bottle don't buy one another. Okay, well cool about the law here. Why not be brothers be servants of God and brothers to one another. And that Terry should show you how beautiful the society should be. So he only brought from the Hadith the chat the part which is forbade us from having assumptions about
people
or suspicions about people. A vision is to be suspicious or to accuse someone without evidence. That's what a one who took my bill ideally, that accused us with something and I have no valid
proof. Okay. Also one could means that when I
believe in something without strong proof, without strong proof, but I still I believe in it even though I don't have a very strong proof that lead me to it.
It could be wrong. Yes. But I feel like I have like I lean more towards saying that this is correct. This is valid. So Alan, who I interact with Shane Mack demanded that he
be the really module.
But here this one in particular, it means that you accuse someone with something with no proof with no sound or valid proof. Current visa Salim x double Hadith, it's the most it's a false stock. It is basically the most line or the most form of lying, most false form of talk why it was called
Lie act double headed even though suspicious and assumption is something inside my heart in my mind why nurses seldom call it lying. Okay? Because usually when you have suspicions about someone and you have assumption, you start talking based on your assumption. So when I talk I will be lying, because I'm not saying something based on truth. So, for example, I have suspicions that Kalahari, okay, he eats my lunch, which is on Friday, every time before Juma I put my lunch there on Mashallah. my lunch is gone. And I know kahaani loved the chicken showed him that I bring. I have my suspect. salsa, man, this maharlika hottie guy is like monster man is like eating chicken often
right? And Sharma is not even like, ya know, as not even fried chicken or anything.
Just sure my chicken and he's the
guy, he eats. He likes her budget. If I tell his neighbors about it, he will.
He'll be in trouble. Anyway, so he and I started talking about it. That's that's about that's like,
so that's why it was it was the form of lying. Okay. And it was called that.
Like, by being our focus on this habit, what do we learn from this habit? Number one, that suspicion and assumption or haraam to accuse someone based on assumption or suspicion? Allah subhanaw taala sit in the portal and solitude right? Yeah, you Hello, Dina Manu, oh, who you believe or who you believe? Age 10 evil Kathy Romina. One, avoid most of the suspicions. Most of the assumptions are wrong. So avoid. So I have a question for you. Man, I will tell you that what do you think? Got it? You tell me. Hey, Gary, what do you think the point of Allah subhanaw taala saying, a dressing like this or who you believe, avoid suspicion?
He didn't say all mankind or human. He said, Oh, who you believe he called the believers.
You're expecting believers have a high standard of morality. Believe should you act and behave different than just an average person who don't believe number one number two, also, that Allah subhanaw taala telling us that whenever he says yeah, you have Ludhiana Amazon, look at what's next, you will find what is next part of the component of a man as a man is made of what set of actions sets of obligations and things that you should avoid. So that means whatever coming now, it is one of these sets of things that you should avoid as a believer. You're a man should lead you to avoid this because that's from a man that you avoid suspicions that you avoid assumptions and you accuse
people with no evidence than last time I said in about about one if some of this. So, you avoid all suspect most of those suspicions you avoided okay. And some of them can be a sin.
If you start acting upon it,
that became sin if you start saying it that became a sin. A one act double headed, the most the false form the most false of form of talking or the most form of lying. Why?
They question which was lying or suspicion assumption?
Why? That's right. All I thought about but in the process of act double headed, it's the worst form of lying.
That does make suspicion an assumption worse, from once from one perspective, which is doesn't mean lying is a major sin by but here it is worse than just a regular lie. Why? Because lying everybody knows how long everybody knows ugly, all humanity agree that lying is not something good. And Bashar couldn't have all humanity knows that truthful is the virtue and lying is bad, bad quality. That's right. We all know that lying is a bad thing. That even kids lying they know that they did something wrong when they lie pipe here. Why it is the worst form of lying because
Lying you easily can recognize but assumption something you will not recognize as lying. You will have it in your heart in your mind and you will carry it on okay I lie I made up lie I know that I'm lying you know what I took this money from you and I didn't take it I'm lying I know I can live with that but assumption it is in the back of my head and I don't even check it. I act upon it I live with it. I never even struggle for a lot from it. How many times we had bad assumption of people bad thought of people and we didn't even thought twice to make us feel far from it. That's why it is worse from that perspective. And I remember hearing Melissa Kuroda die
and that's why I want us to be very careful from assumption because a lot of people don't pay attention to it and that's very true by the way and you will be surprised how much assumptions and suspicion is very very common is very very common.
And unless Mandela said avoid most of it accident one Kathy or a minute one in the bottom one if and remember Rahim Allah said of one is the back bite of the heart
is backed by to the tongue when I say oh you know Shahab Rahim is listen, that is not your apps. So bad things about him is that that's the the Rebbe with the tongue, but also the the vebo with the heart, which is the assumption that inside my heart and my mind, or he must be doing this he must did that you see, and you talking to yourself about that's the V that's leave it with yourself within your cellular automata himolla How do you remember to and that's why I mentioned suilven before he mentioned in sort of the 100 that issue of the river, or the backside of the tongue. He started with incredible kathira men have been in Nevada.
He started with that. Why? Because it does start from the heart it starts from the mind. And a lot of times I said well it just says you and the Hadith also said wanna hustle and don't spy because if I have assumption what's the next step
spying to to make sure mice my age. My suspicion is right or not check it out. So I go and start spying that's why it came in that order and then after that, I'll start talking about that when the Quran Next comes the Rebbe the backbite and in the Hadith in the B cell A lot is a lamp also start talking about that
in the Hadith that what a teenager should have said whether it will be hazard and hatred okay. Because when you have suspicions I start acting upon that and I hate you on distance here and in the foreign sort of diverse well a lot of that what it just says then next while I asked about locum Baba Dum backbite one another because this one lead to the next light.
Also, this Heidi shows you that if there is no valid suspicious,
you should not you should not
investigate.
I don't have a valid reason to investigate.
You should not have this suspicion and you should not act upon it. But if I have a valid reason, you know what my son I smells like, like something in his breath. I smell like in his room. I have a suspicion that he's smoke or exists. He's smoking weed, you know, and I'm gonna go check
that but you know what, he has no any nothing? What?
Oh, Sharma Yeah, no reason for me to is not allowed for you to have these bad thoughts and to act and to investigate. Okay, there is no reason to be suspicious of my wife. And I go check and I go check on my husband or my partner there is no reason there is no any reason ever we have a system in place between me and my partner my company everything check everything good but there is some people always have this suspicious on their heart and their mind about Oh, he's robbing me he that's how I'm this you have to find that. If there is no reason I will say this any several I'm saying a total times No. But
is it sin to have the thoughts if just the thoughts and you find it no sin, but if you give into it, that's the sin.
be nervous on set a low Will not you hold accountable for your thoughts. For if you're suspicious, a huge assumption. It just a thought and you say no Stover.
Mashallah, my son will not be that my wife will not be like that my partner will be like that. And I just, you know, no, no, the shell is not like that No brother so and so it's not like that. It just the thought, there's no sin. But if I give into it and I believe in it and I act upon it, that's where the sin comes
upon you Rahim Allah Allah said, handle Khalid liaison Mirage torquil avalible Voluma placa The point is not not every assumption is rejected.
If there is
reasons for you, or there's reason for you,
to validate that assumption is correct. And sometimes, I don't have 100% sure, but I'm very much, you know, what about one pretty much can tell this is true.
Like for instance, if I see somebody drunk, and the hammer smell coming out of his mouth, or you do a blood test, and his blood does prove that alcohol, he was drinking,
I didn't see him drinking, but the smell, you know, my assumption how very good reason for me to be suspicious.
If my husband comes back home, and I see you know, the hairs and, and all the, the print of like lipsticks on his neck or on his shirt, no, there is a good reason for this wife to have to be suspicious of harassment, he always lately never have come there is a good reason there is money disappearing, I have a good reason to have a suspicion. By the way, having assumption suspicions of people, it doesn't matter. They are Muslim, they are not Muslims. They are old, they are young, they are relatives or non relatives is not allowed.
is not allowed.
Why suspicious and assumptions haha.
Because it creates animosity, and will take away the trust from people.
We can trust one another anymore. And we can't live with each other. And it will create animosity because I hate you. And I hate you because you think and you have an assumption about me and you think negative of me, it makes people backbite it makes people spying on each other. It basically break the society that's why I love somebody said assumptions are the termites of relationships.
The termites of relationship, it will work on it until to bring it down. suspicion and assumptions can come in many, many different ways in society. I give you example.
So many divorces happen between couples because of assumptions and suspicions.
She always have this assumption about her husband or he have this about her
that Oh, she doesn't know anything. Or she did this or she's waster or he is just not committed. Oh, assumptions. One after another? Oh, he's not responsible. Oh, he cannot get work. And this assumption not true.
And there's no reason for it.
There is if there is a reason that's a different I'm talking about that we said before it's an accusation with no proof with no evidence.
A lot of time you see an assumption between partners.
Many times I get two people here, talk to me until Sure. You know, I think my partner is stealing from me. I think my manager is stealing from me. You have any proof? No but but he looks like that to avoid having a partner with him like that. Better to break it up.
Okay, and there is a lot of people have the first thing come to their mind is a bad assumption. And so lumpiness which is very bad. Like always thing the worst of what you have us doing.
assumption became something it's a culture by the way, there is a lot of culture, that's the norm the norm is always to have an assumption about something bad about you. Always This is what you know what if somebody smile at you, what's what's going on? Must be something wrong going on here. Must he want something and unfortunately became this assumption is became very common today.
One sister, she's wearing her hijab and we're giving the pop. She had a car, her car broke here in Clear Lake. She was telling me she
I had a flat tire.
So this guy in a bike, bend in tattoos, big beer, white guy like you know, and he came to her. She's by herself in the in the kind of late and putting the guests
Right where she stayed, he got off the bike. She said, I was terrified.
I was scared. I was like, Okay. Then he said, Ma'am, what's wrong with your car? She said, Oh, I got a flat tire. I'm trying to replace it. He said, let me do that for you, man. On he take the tire off, he put the new tire, and he fixed it for her. And he said, You know, we're on the southern, we don't let lady do the hard work. A gentleman from a southern will not let a lady do that work.
Have a good day, man. And he left
shoe saying my prejudice. In the beginning, I thought negative. I had a bad assumption
of him. I was suspicious of him. We need to find the I know maybe she has a reason nothing she had sent because reason because of the high trend of you know, islamophobes. But that's such an Korea. Any, when you listen to some people said, if he see a black guy in the hood is, you know, running assumption immediately, you know that it's bad. Or he might have a gun or monta Robbie, why?
It's very bad when it comes this society is suffering from it today.
You know, you see, for example, a Latino or an Arab, all history croquis trying to this Arab guy trying to cheat me or Indian or why is that? That's how wrong this assumption is. So unfortunately, it's really the termite of the site.
Also look at the associate having a lot and work places. How a lot spalla see the assumptions and the suspicion of citizen from the government?
Oh, yeah. And the hundreds and 1000s of example, government will never do anything unless we think oh, it must be bad. It must be bad. There must be no the trying to get this. You always think the default when you talk about governments and leaders, then default that it is bad. It is That's right. You never ever check it is that the negative assumption is the default? And I'm wondering if that's correct. Somebody said all because you can just divide as much a bit I think that is an that is I think there's a cross line all the time here.
I do believe that there is an you know, there is some reason Yes, I don't have I have my reason to have a bad assumptions about certain behavior or certain I've been bitten too many times. There's a record Yes. I'm not not defending governments are not defending agencies. But I'm saying there is also there is a little bit excessive from people that the always think the worst.
Like today. These days you you see online, everybody's saying a Muslim community will suffer from bidorbuy they will do this but I'm not saying is good or bad. But why this negative thoughts and assumptions of somebody disease start even here how this will help me how this world make me better? How even if he's mad how this will help me as a community.
And isn't that also what the last Jenny McCarthy era men have been? And I'm not talking about this individual I'm talking about in general.
I do sometimes believe you might call me naive, but that's my personal opinion.
I do sometimes rather to be stained
by someone that I had good faith and then to poison my heart with negative thoughts about people.
And I'll prefer to trust someone and if it was not worthy of my trust, then to be always suspicious of everybody.
I prefer if I have to choose I'll choose the one that keep my heart clean.
Also, the suspicious of the people
and you see this all the time. You know this demonstrations. All they are are
what do you call these would be column like
what would the President keep calling them
are Arnica.
anarchie on our keys and what is
an N starts with
you keep calling them this
way. You always saw the government will always think of them
Some, like suspicious groups, you know, certain Muslim Muslim country, you see also all the hubbub all the time. Anybody who make any, anyone speak out against injustice will be accused, he trying to destroy the country just to do this, this will put in jail, he will immediately you'll see the suspicious of people, both ways from government to citizen citizen to government. Look at the amount of suspicion that we have. When someone gives us a device.
Having all the time you give you advice, what do you think he wants from me? what's exactly his motive? You always have? Why did he talk this to me? When you start acting with suspicion? also see how much we are suspicious of business people? Oh, my God, he makes so much money out of me. That's right. How do you know?
And sometimes, like all exaggeration, at least, there are certain cases I'm aware of, you know, I know, for example, the person who owns that business, he really barely make all he's like making hundreds of 1000 out of us.
You find it all the time when it comes to business and customers and so forth.
Also, there is a lot of suspicions towards that roadmap, and assumptions and bad assumption, bad thoughts about all their sellers scour for dollars, no, those scars knows anything and loud, you know, like one person was telling me, oh, this leader and King or whatever, president of this country, all over the map in his place, you know, our sellout or this? Or this? Or how do you know? Maybe they are talking and they were they didn't depart? Why are you accusing them?
How come he works in this government? Yeah, he thought that working in there would reduce the amount of problems.
Why do we have a suspicion of each other?
I remember, once we're talking to some group of actors, and I tell them, it is so important that we don't we trust one another. And we don't allow this kind of suspicions of one another, destroy the relationship. For instance, let's say we have a group of people here in Houston wall work like a watchdog groups, okay, like care, for example, will walk on, if somebody make a light, let's say that as an elected official made an islamophobe remarks about Muslim, or a law or policy that is made or something like that, which is offended the most, they might go strong, hard on the person, hey, this is not right with maybe organizing demonstrations, signatures, and basically put so much
pressure on them.
Then you have another group, let's say in Houston as well, who prefer to go the route of softer, softer, soft power relationship. They sit with the mayor, they talk to him. Hey, Mr. Mayor, there's 123 hate Police Department sheriff's on so we notice 123 they talk and they try to solve the problem. It is so important that those two groups, they don't have suspicious of each other.
So the one who goes sit on the table doesn't tell, Oh, don't worry about these people in the street who demonstrated in the street, they just a bunch of you know, troublemakers you want to show off? And they have no see.
That's not right. And the one on the street don't say the one who's sitting on the table, or their sellout. They are this they are that that's how long
we can function this way. When we have a suspicion of each other. So one liaison officer, hey,
sometimes we have suspicious of
groups of doubt all the the stock domestic, all they just do this for to collect money, or this. And we we fall into this.
And that's not correct.
We should check our assumptions. And be careful when we talk about trilemma to add Islamic groups, activists and so forth.
Oh my god, suspicious of relatives and family members. As hundreds of example you can think of cousins and brothers and sisters and and you can you can see that in you Tao often that we have the suit of one in Egypt. Also one I found very, very hard to say.
The suspicious and negative thoughts about your parents, especially from those young brothers and sisters who listen to me today
that you think your father just won
On your day, you think your mom is just being mean to you?
Or your your parents are not being nice to you, or trying to control you or trying to, you know, that's why the bat suspicious. Why the assumption?
And contrary actually 99% of the cases, the default rules, the parents wish nothing but the best for their children.
Also parents, that's another problem that they always think negative about their kids. I'm very suspicious of their kids. And the kids suffer from this. Ah, you didn't do your homework. That's right. Why the first thing is I didn't do my homework. Oh, you screwed it up. That's right.
You ruined it. That's Are you the one who took my car? That's right. Why, just hold on, you have to find that and you have to act upon it's, it's not recommended. It's not like micro that's haram to have the vessel special. Unless you have your own reason for it.
Also, we sometimes have bad suspicion of non Muslims,
like any non Muslim, the default rules that he wants to harm you to do this to do that.
And that's not especially against certain groups. Like for example, there is some many times I feel like immediately if you see any Muslim will have any type of relationship with let's say Jewish community immediately especially Jewish give me immediately the suspicious and the assumptions and the accusation wall go to the max. Why
I know you might have been you should you cannot generalize. If you have one or two experience, but you can generalize.
Also,
any there is many example I can I can give. But at least these are good, good practice, I would say, what are the most common reasons for us to have
assumptions are bad assumptions of others? Number one, that you yourself a negative person.
You are negative by nature, you always think of the worst case scenario. It just that's why you're always thinking negative people. Number two, ignorant you didn't know me. That's why you assume assume that about me. You didn't know him. You didn't know what's going on with this organization. You didn't know what's going on in this country. You just make an assumption. I didn't know like that day, somebody was saying, how come share so and so was in this with this group? And two of them did this listen to somebody will doing something very bad. I said, How come the chef see the chef is there and didn't open his mouth? How do you know you're there now? And he didn't talk about you and
you want him to send you, you know, to include you in his when you make a Twitter about it and including Twitter. tiller? Do you know, he actually talked to them in private?
That one when they came to Sam Evans a visit? Why didn't you talk to Matt fan about some of the problems? He said, and what you have you want me to talk to him in front of you.
I talked to him in private.
Why you assume that I didn't say anything.
So egner also three,
which is so important to keep
to keep in mind that sometimes we raise our kids on this type of behavior from childhood.
You raise your children to always be suspicious of everybody.
Oh, stranger or bat
is not stranger, be careful, no bat.
Those people that like that, and we cannot give a son like generalizing. see you as a father or mother doing that. Like assumption. And sometimes these assumptions are so wrong. Like for example, a divorced woman is a bad woman.
How can be a bad woman?
assumption? He got divorced, it means she's bad. She didn't know how to keep her husband or to keep her house. What if her husband is the one who's mad? What any assumption is a very big problem and sometimes come because we are raised this way. Also, I understand that assumptions and bad assumptions and accusations and, and suspicion is so common today. Because also corruption is so common. And usually there is a reason for us to think negative sometimes, because there is a lot of corruption out there. There's a lot of bad people out. That's why it makes me see someone to be suspicious. There's a lot of incidents and I understand that there's nothing
justification but understanding it makes me more careful when I deal with we all make basic assumptions, but things about things in life
sometimes those assumptions are wrong. We must trust in what we assume only and we should not get any we should we must never trust what we assume only and what we know only and what we know
what our assessor has us try to listen and to spy on people. Okay, what
also get what I just said in one of the rewire don't spine? They when I attend office, what are the hazard who don't be any in the one another? What are the high levels of integration don't cut to one another don't buy cut one another.
And this handy for bed anything that will lead to cutting ties between Muslims between community member between society members.
Also, any suspicious that has a right, a good valid reason for it? It is not how long okay? They looking listen to what the acid said. But even if you have a valid reason for suspicious, but this suspicious is not going to be something of a big deal. It's better to let it go.
I give you an example. What's time now nine o'clock, let's say okay, it's late. My kids want to go to school tomorrow. Especially my son didn't hit do his homework.
Why? Because so I'm playing around blah, blah, blah. Okay.
I have a reason for my suspicion. But if I talk about homework today, he's not gonna do it right now. It's nearly that it's gonna be anyway. You know what, let it go. Talk to him tomorrow.
I don't need to check. And sometimes it's better to let it go. You know what, I think the overspent hollows they spend the money. Sometimes you let it go. It's much better for the heart. Okay.
There is a very beautiful, highly dissonant, widowed, and every owner of the alarm
in the Amira, either toggery better finesse have said the home
ruler, when they are so suspicious of people, they will corrupt the society. Sometimes it's much better to have a trust system. And this had it I found the best. The best any way to apply, apply it.
Look at the honest system that we have in America.
When you come in a custom, they don't check everybody's bag. That's right. You have a custom form. You have food No, no, no, no, no, no, no. If there is a clear suspicion of the dog that actually pick you up you actress but if I start suspicious, being suspicious of everybody.
They don't do that they a lot of go even sometimes one or two can go it's not a big deal.
But when you start making people that they have no trust, I go to some Muslim country, every bank has to be open.
f there is no honor system. There is no honor system.
There is some cities in Europe, okay. It's very interesting. You go and hotel you go you pick what you want, you put the money in the box and you leave nobody there
is an honor system. That system help people to be better.
Versus the suspicious and checking and investigating. It make people feel like you know samosas sauce, burger sauce, but it doesn't really help people to grow.
So also, the government always tried to expose people mistake. Always try to publicize the people's mistakes, what will happen it will normalize the wrong and society and that's wrong. Share it conforma hinostroza minified the weapon maaseiah europen Lil lymphocyte. Also
make sure that you have a role to play as well. To make people not to have an assumption about you or bad assumption about you. Or suspicions about you. Be clear.
Be in the light. Don't don't do shady stuff. It makes people be suspicious of you. Be honest, be clear. And the best thing explain. You remember the story of enemies of Solomon. He was walking in the night with his wife. He passed by two people, those two people just walk fast and there was a Hey, by the way, come down. This is my wife Sophia.
Maybe someone's not worried about his reputation reputation as much as you worry about them to have any bad thoughts and that will destroy their email. But he was open and clear. This is my wife.
Why Why you make people think, you know what? I'm married?
straightforward, why you have to hide them to play games and when they
you know what dad, I marry this girl move on a line.
You know why, you know what this is the money for the master why you have to do it in a way and make it sounds like very suspicious about you.
So you need to help people not to have bad suspicion about it. That's also a good point to be addressed here. As we talked about suspicious and assumptions.
It's a disease but it's really need to go back again, to the more we trust one another, the more we become positive thinking, the more we
you know, especially in marital relationship assumption can really destroy the relationship.
Don't act upon assumptions
on friendship, don't act upon them. Ask check. Hey, I have this thought and it's really bothering me I want to ask you about
and move on.
Mia last night Allah protect us from all bad manners. That will be enough inshallah next week we'll have to
Hadith speaking about some character trait has to do with that rulers.
Okay. So, these are highly they talk to everyone role and citizen but the following one is about the rulers and some of that, that important point important character trait of people in charge not only ruler, but anyone in charge of society, country, family, company and so on. So I can look at ceremony.