Walead Mosaad – Session 1 Beautify Your Home

Walead Mosaad
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The speakers discuss the impact of the pandemic on homes and homes, including the rise in divorce rates, housing difficulties, and privacy concerns. They touch on the traditional housing practices of Muslims, including the use of guest rooms and homage toiva. The speakers also discuss the importance of finding people who are true to their values and finding authentic people in community life. They emphasize the need for better communication and privacy, but acknowledge the need for loudspeaker or phone calls. The speakers also touch on the use of God in relation to clothing and the importance of finding people who are true to their values and who are authentic to their values.

AI: Summary ©

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			So
		
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			without further ado, I mean
Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik
		
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			ala Bucha Ratan Tata. I mean, so
you didn't know more than I know,
		
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			have you been able to say?
		
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			Hi, Julian, I shared with you the
bean. So it was it
		
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			was like the edge mango bat. So
I'm very excited and honored that
		
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			we're starting some new sessions.
It's been quite a while since I've
		
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			actually been out to the
measureless in California
		
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			differently since before the
beginning of the pandemic. And
		
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			we had discussed with Showhouse,
Nima and Jamal, about doing
		
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			something that would kind of not
just
		
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			address the new reality, as it
were, but also something to think
		
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			about in terms of how do we go
about actually practically,
		
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			living these great teachings and
embodying these great meanings and
		
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			following this great Prophet
sallallahu, wasallam and
		
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			extending the, the,
		
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			the application of these meanings
within ourselves within our
		
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			families. And of course, as the
course title or the sessions title
		
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			within our homes.
		
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			So
		
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			beautify your home.
		
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			And the title was, was chosen, I
think, with some discussion and
		
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			thought, and I thought it was the
most appropriate way to think
		
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			about it. Especially considering,
you know, what some people's
		
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			impression of Islam is, is that
really what Islam is supposed to
		
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			do when it's done right, is to
beautify things is to make things
		
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			beautiful, is to make people
beautiful, inwardly and outwardly.
		
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			And that should also be reflected
in our homes, which I call
		
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			our most important space.
		
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			So a lot of people talk about
space now and safe space and
		
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			entering in different spaces. And
usually, these spaces are somehow
		
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			associated with particular
identities,
		
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			community space, so forth, but the
most important space really, the
		
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			one that kind of will define you,
and will define most of your
		
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			relationships, and will define the
type of person you're going to be.
		
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			And the type of person you are, is
the space that you occupy, in your
		
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			home, where you live, where you
sleep, where you eat, where the
		
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			people who are closest to you will
be occupying that same space.
		
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			And we would not be exaggerating,
if we were to say that, obviously,
		
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			this space of the home
		
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			has
		
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			changed. And, and has, you know,
with the changing times, and
		
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			different extenuating
circumstances has taken on
		
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			different roles. And, you know, we
like to use sometimes words like,
		
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			you know, the traditional home,
or, you know, what does a
		
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			contemporary home look like? And
you find, for example, open any
		
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			cable TV, and you look at the
channels, there are 10s, if not
		
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			more of them dedicated to
improvement of the home space. And
		
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			obviously, it's kind of
superficial, they're looking at
		
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			kind of the,
		
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			you know, what should I put on my
walls? And where should I put my
		
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			couches? And, you know, can we
change this kitchen and upgrade it
		
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			and can it be looked better and
that sort of thing. But the
		
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			interest that people I think have
an all that sort of thing, or the
		
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			renewed interest in it is based
upon the idea that people are
		
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			recognizing, hey, I'm spending a
lot of time here. And it's not
		
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			just kind of like, you know, this
functional thing that I come to at
		
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			night after work and then leave in
the morning, but it's actually
		
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			someplace that
		
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			I want to make me feel calm and
tranquil and peaceful and safe.
		
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			And this has taken on added
importance, I think with the
		
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			pandemic, as people are spending a
lot more time in this place that
		
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			they call home than they are used
to. You know, for some people it
		
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			used to be home was just the place
where you hang your coat
		
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			and spend a few hours to eat and
sleep and you leave and then
		
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			that's kind of the extent of it.
But many people now are working
		
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			from home. Likely the the new
reality after
		
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			COVID will remain in the sense
that many jobs will still probably
		
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			be remote
		
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			You know, there's no guarantee or
promise that there's not another
		
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			pandemic that's just around the
corner. And maybe this is the
		
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			start of things that, you know, I
don't need to be pessimistic. But
		
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			you know, that possibility is
there, whatever the case may be,
		
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			there is this, I think, renewed
sense of, you know, we got to do
		
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			something, and what do we do about
our homes,
		
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			and anecdotal evidence as well as
what I hear from some statistical
		
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			evidence shows that with the
pandemic, and with people spending
		
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			more time at home,
		
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			there are more difficult
difficulties that are being
		
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			encountered. So divorce rates may
be rising,
		
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			domestic abuse may be rising.
		
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			People living in more difficult
situations and more dire
		
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			situations may be rising.
		
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			People and counting issues with
their homes, our brothers and
		
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			sisters in Texas over the past few
days, who are encountering
		
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			unprecedented
		
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			cold temperatures and weighing
heavily on electrical grid. And so
		
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			all these sorts of things that
people didn't really think about
		
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			are kind of happening within the
space of of the home.
		
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			So what does that mean for us? And
as Muslims, and are there things
		
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			we should be thinking about to
beautify the home? Right? Both in
		
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			exoteric way, when and that's
okay, to exoteric means like, from
		
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			the outward part. And if you look,
the way that Muslims traditionally
		
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			built their homes, they were they
were exuding meaning, right? Based
		
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			upon interstates and well and
inner understandings, and also to
		
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			serve that inner space innerspace.
So the traditional home wasn't
		
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			just merely functional, right, it
wasn't a concrete slab with four
		
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			walls. And then people said, like,
Okay, this is the most, you know,
		
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			how they used to build apartment
buildings in, you know, 70s and
		
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			80s, Soviet Union, Eastern Europe,
very functional, very kind of
		
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			cold, also.
		
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			And just like, you know, block
units, because that's the most
		
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			efficient way to just store people
as if they were items to be put on
		
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			a shelf. But what you find in the
traditional Muslim homes quite
		
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			different.
		
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			There was a recognition for the
different
		
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			groups of people who would be
living there.
		
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			So that children, that's husband,
that's wife, and maybe even
		
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			extended family, right, like in
laws and things like that. So all
		
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			of these things will be taken into
consideration the way that the
		
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			home was, was being constructed,
and the way that it developed
		
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			privacy for these different
groups. Also, you know, the Quran
		
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			mentions how, there's an SD van,
		
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			right before entering the house,
it's not yours, you do this. So
		
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			then with Tasneem, you seek
permission. And you give salam,
		
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			it's like Santa Monica, you know,
I mean, peace. And you know, the
		
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			traditional way of doing it was,
		
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			if you say, the Sudan three times,
and nobody answers you, that means
		
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			either they're not home, or
they're not ready to receive you.
		
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			So it's time to go on your way.
		
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			But that's kind of how they did
it. And the traditional Muslim
		
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			also understood that having guests
regularly
		
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			also was a very good practice,
what's called a daily offer, right
		
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			to take in guests, and maybe even
an overnight guest. And so you
		
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			often had these homes that are
built in a way where you had a
		
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			guest house, or you had a room
		
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			for the guests, and usually had
two separate entrances, an
		
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			entrance for men and interest for
women, because it's kind of a
		
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			women's area to be separated,
which would be the household area.
		
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			And then you'd have the area for
men and their guests. And
		
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			sometimes even the
		
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			the thing that what's it called
the hook that you knock with
		
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			the door knock would be different
for men and women. And I recall
		
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			seeing this in Turkey, like it
would be of a different size. So
		
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			the people inside can tell if it
was a man knocking or was a woman
		
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			knocking, right? And then they
would, we'd be able to make the
		
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			necessary preparation about, you
know, the guests would come inside
		
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			and so forth. And in some areas
where land was plentiful.
		
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			And this existence some places
today I've seen this in West
		
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			Africa, for example.
		
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			They have like compound type of
setup and you have different
		
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			buildings within within the same
place. And so you had kind of a
		
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			place for the older boys once they
grow up to be separated from kind
		
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			of the girls were in the house and
kind of they have their their own
		
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			space and you'd have something
like a national
		
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			Something like a guest area where
guests would sit and, and so
		
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			forth. So they were functional but
functional to serve the spirit.
		
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			Even you look at the way that
massage mosques were built.
		
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			They were not built like office
buildings, which is often the case
		
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			now in some of our mosques. But
		
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			there was an understanding that
there is an allotment for the ear
		
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			and allotment for the eyes, in
your spiritual space, namely the
		
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			mosque. So oftentimes, they had
very high ceilings, and oftentimes
		
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			great attention was paid was paid
to the acoustics of the place, you
		
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			know, you stand in a certain place
where the Imam is standing. And
		
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			when he's reciting the prayer in a
way that the acoustics would allow
		
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			for everyone behind him to hear
him quite easily. And there would
		
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			be no need for loudspeaker or
microphone. And these sorts of
		
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			things.
		
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			Even spatially, the way the
Medina, the way the town would be
		
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			arranged central to the town would
be the mosque. And
		
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			you had like concentric circles of
people living in proximity of that
		
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			the way the marketplace was
arranged, right in the marketplace
		
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			would be able to off to the side,
but then the marketplace, you
		
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			would go to the same, all of the
people who sold meat, the butchers
		
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			would be in one place. And all of
the people who were who were
		
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			cobblers would be in one place and
other people who were still
		
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			Smith's would be in one place. And
you may think that sounds
		
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			counterintuitive, because then
aren't they are competing with one
		
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			another? And shouldn't you make
some differentiation between you
		
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			and your competitor, so they
should be in a different place and
		
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			location be one of those things.
But actually, they function more
		
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			as Brotherhood's that was the
meaning that they understood from
		
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			their practice of Islam. And so as
a result, it was not uncommon for,
		
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			you know, someone who sold linen,
for example, and they had sold X
		
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			amount in their day, and they felt
they got enough that they would
		
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			tell the next customer Well, why
don't you go to my neighbor,
		
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			because he hasn't sold anything
yet today, or he hasn't sold
		
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			enough, I've sold enough for
today. Or if they didn't have the
		
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			item. And this is something I
personally experienced myself in
		
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			Damascus. He didn't have the item.
And he took me he walked me down
		
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			to his neighbor and said, Why
don't you I'll take you to him, he
		
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			might have it. Rather than telling
me come back tomorrow, he could
		
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			have bought it from him and then
sold me for a higher price. He
		
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			didn't do that. He took me to him
and said, This is where you can
		
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			buy. So these meetings, which are
Amen, right, which are things that
		
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			people do came out of deep and
profound, understood meanings
		
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			about Islam. And not just on an
individual level, I would say they
		
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			were embedded within the
communities within the societies
		
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			from generations before them.
		
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			This was something that parents
understood in the grandparents and
		
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			the great grandparents and so
forth, such as that when it gets
		
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			to them, it was kind of just the
way things are, it wasn't even so
		
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			much as a
		
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			conscientious
		
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			thinking about I'm gonna live this
way, but it was the way to be
		
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			lived. And it was something that
was, you know,
		
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			seen before them. And it's
something that they understood and
		
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			something that was easy to
practice, because everyone else
		
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			was doing it with them. So, you
know, those are beautiful things.
		
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			And it sounds a little bit
nostalgic when we talk about it.
		
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			Considering the way that we live
today. And the way that the modern
		
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			home looks like which is often
built in a way to
		
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			show off, I would say. So the
modern home, you walk into it, one
		
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			of the things that's so important
with the modern home is as soon as
		
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			you get to the doorway, what you
see the house, you want to see the
		
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			expanse of it, you want to see how
big it is you want to see, you
		
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			know how much stuff these people
have. And you know, in Western
		
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			culture, there's a lot of emphasis
on playing, paying homage to
		
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			monuments. So people generally
have things that show off like
		
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			trophies and
		
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			you know, Medallia and things like
this that are an easy view of
		
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			people to say like look, I'm an
accomplished person, I've done
		
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			this and, and so forth. And even
you look at many Western capitals,
		
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			Paris, London, Rome.
		
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			They were built in a way to show
off in a way their conquests and
		
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			the things that they were able to
achieve and even in the way that
		
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			what we would consider to be the
way they subjugated other peoples
		
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			but you know the the Parisian the
French took the Egyptian obelisk
		
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			from Egypt and brought it there
and stuck it in the middle of
		
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			their most famous square between
the Louvre and Sean's did He say,
		
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			and so forth. But you don't find
this sort of same. Paying homage
		
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			to monuments in traditional Muslim
societies makin Medina never had
		
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			anything like that. prophesies
that have never brought back
		
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			anything with him from the walk or
from
		
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			far out in the Arabian Peninsula
and then the whole of it after him
		
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			even though they went as far as
China. Then they went as far as
		
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			the Pyrenees
		
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			in France, but they didn't bring
back monuments to show like we
		
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			We've done this, essentially the
way that they lived
		
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			in terms of the embodiment of the
inner meanings of the Dean was the
		
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			same. And one of those inner
meanings is we don't show off. And
		
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			actually, we have a level of love
and respect for the neighbor, that
		
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			we don't want to greet them in any
way. So by showing them that we
		
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			have something they do not, you
know, that can be injurious to
		
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			them on a emotional, spiritual
level. And so even that was taken
		
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			into consideration of how things
how people brought things into the
		
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			home and how they cooked outside
taking into consideration the
		
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			neighbors.
		
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			So, what I wanted to do
		
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			that just kind of broad overview
what I wanted to do with this is
		
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			just look at
		
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			some concepts, these eight
sessions in sha Allah that will go
		
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			into sort of almost the beginning
of Ramadan.
		
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			Ramadan inshallah we'll vertical
and a philosopher Shaban
		
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			will just look conceptually with
some practical things about how
		
00:16:11 --> 00:16:14
			can we arrange things? What are
the things that we should be
		
00:16:14 --> 00:16:19
			thinking about when we want to
take steps to beautify our homes,
		
00:16:19 --> 00:16:24
			and I do have kind of a small
presentation, but I feel like it
		
00:16:24 --> 00:16:28
			distracts people. So I rather just
use it as my, my notes, and it's
		
00:16:28 --> 00:16:30
			kind of a work in progress,
perhaps at the end,
		
00:16:31 --> 00:16:34
			we'll make it available for
everybody. So they have something
		
00:16:34 --> 00:16:40
			that you know, they kind of can
can look at. So, if we look at the
		
00:16:40 --> 00:16:45
			home, or the word that's commonly
used as bait, which literally
		
00:16:45 --> 00:16:48
			means where you spend the night in
the Quran,
		
00:16:50 --> 00:16:52
			it's used several different times.
		
00:16:53 --> 00:17:00
			The sister of Musa alayhis salam,
as you may recall, when the mother
		
00:17:00 --> 00:17:05
			of Moses put him in the Nile, as
she was received an inspiration to
		
00:17:05 --> 00:17:09
			do so from God, so that he would
be protected from the mass
		
00:17:09 --> 00:17:11
			slaughter that Pharaoh was
carrying out on the firstborn of
		
00:17:11 --> 00:17:11
			every
		
00:17:12 --> 00:17:13
			Hebrew household.
		
00:17:16 --> 00:17:19
			He moves Ali Salam as an infant
and would not nurse from anybody
		
00:17:21 --> 00:17:24
			and that was something that Allah
swapped out to put into into
		
00:17:24 --> 00:17:28
			musante so so one of the verses in
the Quran for cartel de la Comala,
		
00:17:28 --> 00:17:30
			elevating the Aqua Luna who like
		
00:17:32 --> 00:17:36
			the sister of Musa they send older
sister came to the bait the house
		
00:17:36 --> 00:17:41
			of Pharaoh and said, for call it
* do loco Mala le bait. Should
		
00:17:41 --> 00:17:45
			I tell you about the people of
this particular household? And
		
00:17:45 --> 00:17:49
			debate household or house? Yeah,
karuna. Hola, como take care of
		
00:17:49 --> 00:17:51
			him, for you.
		
00:17:52 --> 00:17:55
			For Raja Elomi. So that's when
		
00:17:56 --> 00:18:01
			Moses was taking back to his
mother, the kala taxon. Right so
		
00:18:01 --> 00:18:04
			that you would not grieve even
though she had to give him up in
		
00:18:04 --> 00:18:09
			that way, but Allah returned or to
him, but they were people have of
		
00:18:09 --> 00:18:14
			what have a home elevate? Right,
the people have only had a home,
		
00:18:14 --> 00:18:16
			they had something that Pharaoh
could provide.
		
00:18:18 --> 00:18:20
			Right, even though may have been
the customer of the time that
		
00:18:20 --> 00:18:24
			babies would nurse outside of the
home. But where did she go back to
		
00:18:24 --> 00:18:28
			to the home of his own home, the
home of his mother
		
00:18:29 --> 00:18:33
			in another verse, or to Bukhara.
When they sell the room, we intend
		
00:18:33 --> 00:18:36
			to build them into Who the *
were like in a bit of a mini taco
		
00:18:36 --> 00:18:38
			what to do that mean Abu Dhabi
		
00:18:39 --> 00:18:44
			and it's not from righteousness,
to enter the houses from the back.
		
00:18:45 --> 00:18:48
			Right, not from the front
entrance, but somehow from another
		
00:18:48 --> 00:18:53
			entrance, not the front one. Well,
that King is better many taco. But
		
00:18:53 --> 00:18:57
			righteousness is those who have
Taqwa. And were to view them in
		
00:18:57 --> 00:19:02
			Abu Dhabi, and enter the homes
from their front entrances. This
		
00:19:02 --> 00:19:05
			also has kind of esoteric means
associated with it. So obviously,
		
00:19:06 --> 00:19:07
			the front entrance of a house,
		
00:19:08 --> 00:19:11
			right is the one designated by the
people of the house, the members
		
00:19:11 --> 00:19:15
			of the household, is by the one
that which you should enter that's
		
00:19:15 --> 00:19:17
			where they are ready to receive
you
		
00:19:18 --> 00:19:22
			from the front door. Right. So if
you go scuttling back to the back,
		
00:19:23 --> 00:19:26
			right in the backyard and see
what's going on, you know, are
		
00:19:26 --> 00:19:29
			they back there? Let me look
through the back door back window,
		
00:19:29 --> 00:19:32
			see what's going on. Right and
there's a very strong hook
		
00:19:32 --> 00:19:37
			prohibition in Islam about it. He
just was right about spying upon
		
00:19:37 --> 00:19:41
			one another and seeing what's
going on with the house what's
		
00:19:41 --> 00:19:46
			going on inside. So, essentially,
that what goes on inside the house
		
00:19:46 --> 00:19:51
			is sacrosanct. To the degree even
if people are doing sinful things
		
00:19:51 --> 00:19:55
			inside the house. It is not
licensed for anyone outside of the
		
00:19:55 --> 00:19:57
			house to come in and look for
that. In other words to
		
00:19:57 --> 00:19:59
			investigate. They are
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:03
			Not allowed to investigate what's
happening inside the house.
		
00:20:04 --> 00:20:09
			You can't, you know, duck time,
right? To enter the house from
		
00:20:09 --> 00:20:13
			anywhere from the roof to knock
the doors down whatever people do
		
00:20:13 --> 00:20:17
			nowadays, when when they invade
people's homes, you're not allowed
		
00:20:17 --> 00:20:19
			to do that. Because you're not
allowed. Even if there's something
		
00:20:19 --> 00:20:21
			going on in there, you're not
allowed to investigate it. That
		
00:20:21 --> 00:20:24
			would be to justice. If people
bring that stuff outside, that's
		
00:20:24 --> 00:20:27
			something different. But as long
as they are within the
		
00:20:27 --> 00:20:31
			inviolability of the sacrosanct
city of the home, then
		
00:20:32 --> 00:20:35
			you're not allowed to, to enter
it, except from the front and then
		
00:20:35 --> 00:20:39
			by the permission of the people
who are actually living there by
		
00:20:39 --> 00:20:44
			invitation. So you enter only by
invitation.
		
00:20:45 --> 00:20:49
			Think of that, you know, this is
the place, you can only enter by
		
00:20:49 --> 00:20:54
			invitation. And similarly any
noble place, you enter by
		
00:20:54 --> 00:20:55
			invitation,
		
00:20:56 --> 00:20:58
			we might see the mosque or the
mosque is the most noble of places
		
00:20:58 --> 00:21:02
			how they're based Allah. So isn't
it referred to as Baitullah the
		
00:21:02 --> 00:21:07
			house of God. So the house of God
also is entered into by invitation
		
00:21:07 --> 00:21:08
			from whom from Allah,
		
00:21:09 --> 00:21:12
			from Allah subhanaw taala. Right,
if Allah didn't want you to enter
		
00:21:12 --> 00:21:15
			that house of his, you would not
be entering it.
		
00:21:16 --> 00:21:21
			And the popular saying, I will
call Blue Bay to rob, I'll call
		
00:21:21 --> 00:21:25
			blue, they told Rob the heart is
the house or the temple of God.
		
00:21:27 --> 00:21:31
			So that means also this is what I
meant by kind of the esoteric
		
00:21:31 --> 00:21:35
			aspect, or the inward aspect.
Nothing should be entering the
		
00:21:35 --> 00:21:39
			house that is your heart except by
invitation.
		
00:21:40 --> 00:21:43
			So you want to be careful who you
invite.
		
00:21:45 --> 00:21:50
			And the house FM's, right, the
five senses are the guardians who
		
00:21:50 --> 00:21:54
			are guarding the doors to your
heart, which is the house of God.
		
00:21:55 --> 00:21:59
			That's why we see this emphasis on
people to be careful what they
		
00:21:59 --> 00:22:02
			look at people be careful what
they hear, and careful what you
		
00:22:02 --> 00:22:05
			know, their environment and what
they're exposed to and so forth.
		
00:22:05 --> 00:22:09
			Because you ever have something
very precious inside of you. Right
		
00:22:09 --> 00:22:12
			that Allah calls his house, just
like he calls the mosque, his
		
00:22:12 --> 00:22:16
			house just like he calls the Haram
and Mackay,
		
00:22:17 --> 00:22:19
			the kava, his house,
		
00:22:20 --> 00:22:24
			enter by invitation only, and that
means the members of the household
		
00:22:24 --> 00:22:28
			also have a responsibility upon
them to invite those who are
		
00:22:28 --> 00:22:32
			worthy of getting that invitation.
		
00:22:35 --> 00:22:38
			And another verse, and this is the
		
00:22:39 --> 00:22:43
			the the sound of Sidna isa of
Jesus, the son of Mary, when he
		
00:22:43 --> 00:22:47
			was explaining to the Hebrews what
what he came for when he came to
		
00:22:47 --> 00:22:51
			do what what his mission was
about. What did he say to them?
		
00:22:51 --> 00:22:56
			What will not be oh, can be melted
coluna waneta Duffy Runa Fie,
		
00:22:56 --> 00:22:57
			beautiful.
		
00:22:58 --> 00:23:02
			What will not be welcome and I
came to tell you be mad at Kulu
		
00:23:03 --> 00:23:06
			what you are to eat because he
came with things that were made
		
00:23:06 --> 00:23:09
			easier for the Hebrews For many
Islam. The Sharia before them was
		
00:23:09 --> 00:23:12
			very difficult in terms of things
they were not allowed to eat many
		
00:23:12 --> 00:23:17
			prohibitions with a Hindu lagoon
bother lady holiday Malik, Mojito,
		
00:23:17 --> 00:23:21
			number eight and Arabic In another
verse, and I came to make Halal
		
00:23:21 --> 00:23:24
			that which was made haram for you
before. So here's the next further
		
00:23:24 --> 00:23:27
			explanation of that when a bill
can be met at Kowloon that we
		
00:23:27 --> 00:23:30
			should be eating Womack, that
definitely ruin a few beautiful
		
00:23:30 --> 00:23:35
			and that which would you keep in
your houses or you save or your
		
00:23:35 --> 00:23:38
			preserve in your house will
matter? Definitely Runa for you
		
00:23:38 --> 00:23:39
			beautiful.
		
00:23:40 --> 00:23:45
			So house also then is seen as a
place of things that we keep where
		
00:23:45 --> 00:23:50
			we put our valuables were things
that are important to us. We will
		
00:23:50 --> 00:23:52
			maintain them in there. The whole
		
00:23:56 --> 00:24:01
			in another verse certainly set
well many effleurage mean Beatty,
		
00:24:01 --> 00:24:05
			he will have many acknowledgement
at merging Allahu Allah Sunni. So
		
00:24:05 --> 00:24:10
			music will also cause waka Giroux
who Allah Allah. Where's the bait?
		
00:24:10 --> 00:24:15
			When you're Scrooge min Beatty he
an over leaves or exits from his
		
00:24:15 --> 00:24:22
			house mohajir on emigrating to
where it Allah, what also led to
		
00:24:22 --> 00:24:28
			Allah and his messenger filmer you
recall him out, then he dies or
		
00:24:28 --> 00:24:32
			death comes upon him for called
waka Juru. Allah Allah in other
		
00:24:32 --> 00:24:36
			words before he reaches his
destination, so talking about the
		
00:24:36 --> 00:24:40
			mahadji rune, the emigres who
emigrated from Mecca to Medina,
		
00:24:40 --> 00:24:42
			why would they leave their house?
Why would they leave everything
		
00:24:42 --> 00:24:43
			that they know?
		
00:24:44 --> 00:24:48
			Only one reason? The verse didn't
say Maharaja and even Medina,
		
00:24:49 --> 00:24:52
			even though that was the physical
place, but in reality, what were
		
00:24:52 --> 00:24:56
			they making sure to where were
they going? Mohair Jong Il Allah
		
00:24:58 --> 00:25:00
			wa Sudhi making him
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:04
			Niger to Allah and making his euro
to His Messenger Salallahu Salam.
		
00:25:04 --> 00:25:08
			So in that case, the reason that I
would leave my house has to be for
		
00:25:08 --> 00:25:13
			Allah and His messenger. And if I
don't reach the place that I want
		
00:25:13 --> 00:25:16
			it to intend to reach, but I was
doing it for Allah and His
		
00:25:16 --> 00:25:22
			messenger for the waka Giroux who,
Allah Nevertheless, the edger or
		
00:25:22 --> 00:25:26
			the reward will still be realized
nonetheless.
		
00:25:29 --> 00:25:33
			And then finally, sort of unfair.
Camouflage Ricardo Bukom in beta
		
00:25:33 --> 00:25:38
			will hack or in the video convener
me Nina, la caribou. This is
		
00:25:38 --> 00:25:42
			talking about the moniker of
better yes with better the Battle
		
00:25:42 --> 00:25:47
			of Feather Camera, illogical
rabuka Amin Bay tikka, sometimes
		
00:25:47 --> 00:25:51
			Allah will make the situation
circumstances such that in your
		
00:25:51 --> 00:25:52
			house, you have to leave.
		
00:25:54 --> 00:25:56
			Here in this case, they have to
leave because the last one of
		
00:25:56 --> 00:26:02
			Allah one is this conflict. This
decisive one very early in the
		
00:26:02 --> 00:26:05
			history of the companions and
promises are seldom to happen at
		
00:26:05 --> 00:26:07
			this particular time. camera
follows ricotta book, I mean,
		
00:26:07 --> 00:26:14
			basic Bill Huck isn't a huge bill
hawk. So then you leave the house
		
00:26:14 --> 00:26:19
			leave the home Bill hack, right,
by the real by the true just as
		
00:26:19 --> 00:26:24
			you entered it, by the real, and
by the true. So yeah, there are
		
00:26:24 --> 00:26:26
			other verses talking about the
home. But these are the like the
		
00:26:26 --> 00:26:31
			ones that we're looking at. That
kind of emphasize, like this is a
		
00:26:31 --> 00:26:34
			place where we leave from and, you
know, I wrote some of the things
		
00:26:34 --> 00:26:38
			here, it's a space of family, it's
a space of privacy, it's going to
		
00:26:38 --> 00:26:42
			be a space of preparing and
sharing meals. It's a space of
		
00:26:42 --> 00:26:45
			embodiment. So whenever we want to
go do something, and especially
		
00:26:45 --> 00:26:48
			with something important, where do
we leave from, really from the
		
00:26:48 --> 00:26:48
			home.
		
00:26:49 --> 00:26:54
			And it's a space of the real and
the true, right? The nights that
		
00:26:54 --> 00:26:57
			you spend, which are most likely
are going to be in your home,
		
00:26:57 --> 00:27:01
			many, many different meanings can
be realized. And most of the
		
00:27:01 --> 00:27:04
			nights will be spent in the home,
even if you have your type of
		
00:27:04 --> 00:27:08
			personal a data type of personal
worship, then that time will be
		
00:27:08 --> 00:27:13
			realized in the home, and not
necessarily anywhere else. So
		
00:27:14 --> 00:27:18
			all of these meanings come when we
talk about the whole.
		
00:27:27 --> 00:27:31
			So as I said, the home, it's the
most important space in our life.
		
00:27:33 --> 00:27:34
			It can be the source of bliss,
		
00:27:35 --> 00:27:39
			or the source of misery. How many
other people are are happy in
		
00:27:39 --> 00:27:42
			their life because of what goes on
at home. And how many people are
		
00:27:42 --> 00:27:45
			miserable in their life, because
also what goes on at home.
		
00:27:47 --> 00:27:51
			The way that we deal with our
homes, the way that we arrange
		
00:27:51 --> 00:27:53
			them, the way that we conduct our
relationships, all those things
		
00:27:53 --> 00:27:58
			are very much influenced and
informed by culture and by
		
00:27:58 --> 00:28:01
			religion. And that's something
also, we're going to talk about a
		
00:28:01 --> 00:28:02
			little bit later.
		
00:28:03 --> 00:28:07
			Within the home, there is a
dynamic between different and
		
00:28:07 --> 00:28:09
			complex relationships.
		
00:28:10 --> 00:28:12
			And we're going to be looking at
that as well. So you have the
		
00:28:12 --> 00:28:13
			relationship between
		
00:28:15 --> 00:28:17
			let's say husband and wife, and
you have the relationship between
		
00:28:18 --> 00:28:21
			the parents and the children, and
the children and the parents and
		
00:28:21 --> 00:28:24
			the siblings one with another. And
then you have the relationship of
		
00:28:24 --> 00:28:27
			people who come to the house as
visitors or as regular visitors
		
00:28:27 --> 00:28:30
			and then maybe extended family if
there are more frequent visitors,
		
00:28:30 --> 00:28:33
			even if they live with you that
relationship as well, if there are
		
00:28:33 --> 00:28:37
			caregivers, if there are people
who work for the household, in any
		
00:28:37 --> 00:28:40
			capacity, technically, they're
considered part of the home. So
		
00:28:40 --> 00:28:47
			all of these things are going to
add to the dynamic of what
		
00:28:47 --> 00:28:52
			sometimes can be a complex setup
of what's going on in the home.
		
00:28:52 --> 00:28:57
			And that's why it's a crucial
place for for things to go right
		
00:28:57 --> 00:28:58
			within the hole.
		
00:29:00 --> 00:29:04
			And it profoundly affects how we
conduct ourselves in other spaces.
		
00:29:06 --> 00:29:10
			Right, if you had a bad morning at
home, and then you walk into your
		
00:29:10 --> 00:29:14
			job, or your school or whatever,
the whole day can be completely
		
00:29:14 --> 00:29:17
			different. How many are the
mornings, for example,
		
00:29:19 --> 00:29:24
			that one of the two spouses was
cranky, and that crankiness
		
00:29:24 --> 00:29:27
			affected the other spouse.
		
00:29:28 --> 00:29:28
			And so
		
00:29:30 --> 00:29:34
			that affected how that spouse
dealt with everybody else that
		
00:29:34 --> 00:29:38
			they came into contact with, right
with their colleagues at work, or,
		
00:29:38 --> 00:29:41
			you know, if their school teacher
with the children that they teach
		
00:29:43 --> 00:29:49
			with the person at target that
they were, you know, buying some
		
00:29:49 --> 00:29:52
			item with and the guidance, a
little bit of a kerfuffle because
		
00:29:52 --> 00:29:56
			of, you know, they were a little
upset from earlier. So, it's kind
		
00:29:56 --> 00:30:00
			of like a whole chain reaction of
events. You
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:03
			Because one spouse woke up in the
morning and didn't say good
		
00:30:03 --> 00:30:06
			morning, or didn't say, How are
you doing or something like that,
		
00:30:06 --> 00:30:11
			or is a little cranky or whatever
it might be so, but then how many
		
00:30:12 --> 00:30:15
			are the opposite, someone who
smiles when they enter into the
		
00:30:15 --> 00:30:18
			room, alright, and someone who
could have been kind of not
		
00:30:18 --> 00:30:22
			feeling that great, but then the
smile, changed everything. Like
		
00:30:22 --> 00:30:22
			the
		
00:30:23 --> 00:30:27
			the pleasantries and the niceties
and the gentleness, and then that
		
00:30:27 --> 00:30:29
			kind of extended out
		
00:30:30 --> 00:30:32
			everywhere else. So,
		
00:30:34 --> 00:30:37
			you know, very important how we
conduct ourselves, within the
		
00:30:37 --> 00:30:44
			homes within the house. And if you
find yourself able to conduct your
		
00:30:44 --> 00:30:49
			relationships outside of the home
much easier, right, and you're
		
00:30:49 --> 00:30:53
			able to deal with it much more
gently, then with the people
		
00:30:53 --> 00:30:56
			within your household, then you
have to question yourself, you
		
00:30:56 --> 00:30:59
			have to say, what is it about me
that I can do this, with people I
		
00:30:59 --> 00:31:04
			don't have so much contact with,
versus the people who I see every
		
00:31:04 --> 00:31:09
			day. And the cop out answer, I'll
call it or the, the easy way out
		
00:31:09 --> 00:31:12
			and say, Well, you know, we're
just not compatible, or it's their
		
00:31:12 --> 00:31:16
			fault. They make a library left
miserable, so forth. But
		
00:31:18 --> 00:31:21
			the healthier way to look at it is
to look at your contribution to
		
00:31:21 --> 00:31:25
			whatever's going on at home.
Because really, that's the thing
		
00:31:25 --> 00:31:28
			that you should be addressing
first and foremost, rather than
		
00:31:28 --> 00:31:32
			what somebody else is doing. And
you may not realize it, but it
		
00:31:32 --> 00:31:37
			could be in fact, your
contribution or your inability to
		
00:31:37 --> 00:31:42
			manage the relationship that's,
that's causing that strife on the
		
00:31:42 --> 00:31:46
			part of the partner or the other
person. So, you know, developing,
		
00:31:48 --> 00:31:53
			I would call them tools of
introspection is also something
		
00:31:53 --> 00:31:58
			very much firmly grounded within,
you know, a Muslim moral ethic,
		
00:31:59 --> 00:32:01
			you know, looking at ourselves
first before we look at somebody
		
00:32:01 --> 00:32:05
			else and blaming them for, for the
situation that we may find
		
00:32:05 --> 00:32:08
			ourselves in. And the most
important place you need to
		
00:32:08 --> 00:32:12
			practice this is in your house. In
fact, the prophesy said, and he
		
00:32:12 --> 00:32:15
			said, he made this the criteria of
how good a person you are. He
		
00:32:15 --> 00:32:18
			said, Hi, Eurocom Eurocom, li, li,
		
00:32:19 --> 00:32:23
			li and the best of you are those
who are best to their families.
		
00:32:24 --> 00:32:28
			What if I recorded it, and I am
the best of you, to my family.
		
00:32:29 --> 00:32:33
			So he didn't mention personal
piety here, I didn't mention, you
		
00:32:33 --> 00:32:37
			know, who gives the most subtle
cot, or who praised the most or
		
00:32:37 --> 00:32:41
			who's in the first row at the
masjid? Or who has the conference
		
00:32:41 --> 00:32:45
			hall named after them in the
meshes center, because they paid
		
00:32:45 --> 00:32:50
			$100,000 For that, in saying those
things. But he said, clerical, I
		
00:32:50 --> 00:32:50
			recommend
		
00:32:51 --> 00:32:55
			the best of you or those who are
best to their families. Why,
		
00:32:55 --> 00:32:59
			because that's the day in and day
out. And that's actually the real
		
00:32:59 --> 00:33:01
			you. This is another thing.
		
00:33:03 --> 00:33:07
			The people that you spend the most
time with, they are going to be
		
00:33:07 --> 00:33:10
			the most intimate with the real
you.
		
00:33:13 --> 00:33:16
			Not the person that you see once a
week, congregational prayer
		
00:33:16 --> 00:33:22
			Fridays, or even, you know, on
occasion, or when you're all
		
00:33:22 --> 00:33:27
			usually on your best behavior. But
when you are tired, and when
		
00:33:27 --> 00:33:30
			you're not feeling it, and when
you may be cranky, and you may be
		
00:33:30 --> 00:33:35
			upset, you can't really hide all
those things, or sustain hiding
		
00:33:35 --> 00:33:39
			those things from the people that
you live with. So how you manage
		
00:33:39 --> 00:33:43
			those relationships of the family,
and especially those who live with
		
00:33:43 --> 00:33:49
			you really are going to show you
who you are. And you know most of
		
00:33:49 --> 00:33:51
			us when we look at that we
certainly have things we're not
		
00:33:51 --> 00:33:56
			proud of and we're not happy with
and we think we can do better and
		
00:33:56 --> 00:33:59
			it's you know, normal for people
to come sometimes snap and lash
		
00:33:59 --> 00:34:02
			out at the people closest to them.
But
		
00:34:03 --> 00:34:05
			you know, I'm thinking I'm
thinking of one incident of the
		
00:34:05 --> 00:34:11
			Prophet SAW I live witness it in
our shadow on her she she threw a
		
00:34:11 --> 00:34:13
			plate or broke a plate. I don't
want to go into why she did that
		
00:34:13 --> 00:34:16
			right now. But that's what
happened. And the Prophet SAW
		
00:34:16 --> 00:34:20
			Selim, he didn't get angry with
her or lash out at her all he said
		
00:34:20 --> 00:34:21
			to the people is like God.
		
00:34:23 --> 00:34:26
			You know, your mother got a little
bit jealous. So she threw the
		
00:34:26 --> 00:34:30
			thing, okay, we'll clean it up.
It's not a big deal. You know,
		
00:34:30 --> 00:34:36
			that, that sort of rapport with
with people to be gentle. And
		
00:34:36 --> 00:34:40
			another way sometimes people say,
you know, if you're, if you're a
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:43
			lamb outside of the house and the
lying within the house, something
		
00:34:43 --> 00:34:48
			is wrong. If anything, it should
be the opposite. Right? You should
		
00:34:48 --> 00:34:52
			be gentle within the house. And
often the seller they would the
		
00:34:52 --> 00:34:54
			righteous predecessors or they
would describe the role or how the
		
00:34:54 --> 00:34:58
			man would be in the house. And
they said he'd be like a young boy
		
00:34:59 --> 00:35:00
			because snobby
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:04
			Yeah, right like gentle and
playful and soaking around not
		
00:35:04 --> 00:35:09
			stern and authoritarian and
repressive, you know, that's
		
00:35:10 --> 00:35:13
			people, men who who think that
that's manhood and do it in their
		
00:35:13 --> 00:35:16
			house. Usually, that's the result
of their inability to do that
		
00:35:16 --> 00:35:20
			outside of the house. Most people
who are tyrannical in their
		
00:35:20 --> 00:35:22
			behavior is a result of them,
		
00:35:24 --> 00:35:27
			unable to get their way, or to see
things progressing the way that
		
00:35:27 --> 00:35:30
			they want outside of the house, so
then they take the weakest point,
		
00:35:31 --> 00:35:34
			where they feel they have the
authority to do so. Namely, in the
		
00:35:34 --> 00:35:37
			house, generally, someone who's
going to humiliate people of their
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:42
			household is being humiliated
outside of the house, at work by
		
00:35:43 --> 00:35:46
			a boss or something like that. So
		
00:35:47 --> 00:35:52
			look, part of maintaining a good
home is also not necessarily to,
		
00:35:52 --> 00:35:55
			you know, not have a bad boss,
sometimes you can't help that, but
		
00:35:55 --> 00:36:00
			to recognize when those things
aren't influencing you are factor
		
00:36:00 --> 00:36:04
			upon you, to the degree that you
are aware of it so that you can
		
00:36:04 --> 00:36:06
			avoid acting out from that
particular thing that you find
		
00:36:06 --> 00:36:10
			within yourself and other people.
You know, that's, that's kind of
		
00:36:10 --> 00:36:14
			the real meaning of SN and Teskey.
And moral excellence, you don't
		
00:36:14 --> 00:36:19
			always overcome your problems. But
the first step is to recognize
		
00:36:19 --> 00:36:22
			where they're coming from, right
to separate the wheat from the
		
00:36:22 --> 00:36:25
			chaff, right to separate, you
know, this is something coming
		
00:36:25 --> 00:36:29
			from a good, high spiritual
grounding, understanding, and I'm
		
00:36:29 --> 00:36:32
			going to act upon it, versus it's
coming from something of the ego,
		
00:36:33 --> 00:36:35
			something of the neffs, something
of the,
		
00:36:37 --> 00:36:39
			you know, of anger or of
		
00:36:41 --> 00:36:45
			resentment, and then as a result,
I bring that anger and resentment,
		
00:36:45 --> 00:36:47
			I bring that hurt, that has
affected me, and then I go hurt
		
00:36:47 --> 00:36:48
			other people. So,
		
00:36:50 --> 00:36:53
			to recognize that within yourself,
which is not an easy thing to do.
		
00:36:53 --> 00:36:58
			That's why, you know, our homes
are not homesteads, that are these
		
00:36:58 --> 00:37:01
			or should not be, where there are
these discrete,
		
00:37:02 --> 00:37:07
			you know, singular homes that are
far away and not integrated with
		
00:37:07 --> 00:37:11
			the community around us. It really
does take a village to raise the
		
00:37:11 --> 00:37:15
			child and to raise people of the
household. So when you have
		
00:37:15 --> 00:37:19
			cooperating neighbors and
communities around you, you can
		
00:37:19 --> 00:37:23
			actually form a real community,
then these things become a lot
		
00:37:23 --> 00:37:27
			easier to, to manage and to do and
to take care of, you know, if you
		
00:37:27 --> 00:37:32
			go to, if you're, you know, in an
ideal situation, let's say, where
		
00:37:32 --> 00:37:35
			there's a mosque close by, and
you're praying five times a day
		
00:37:35 --> 00:37:37
			there, and then you're going to
the home, where you're bringing in
		
00:37:37 --> 00:37:40
			that light that you got from over
there, and you bring it back to
		
00:37:40 --> 00:37:43
			the house. And that's also going
to benefit the people of the
		
00:37:43 --> 00:37:46
			household. And imagine if it
wasn't just the five person that
		
00:37:46 --> 00:37:50
			Masjid but there was actually
people who are wise and people of
		
00:37:50 --> 00:37:54
			wit of newer and of light, and
people that who can function as
		
00:37:54 --> 00:37:58
			mentors for you. And so when you
do have certain situations that
		
00:37:58 --> 00:38:01
			come up, you could always ask them
and inquire about one another and,
		
00:38:02 --> 00:38:05
			and things like this. And, you
know, these levels of lines of
		
00:38:05 --> 00:38:10
			cooperation are happening multiple
layers in society, between men and
		
00:38:10 --> 00:38:13
			women and men, when women and
between older people and younger
		
00:38:13 --> 00:38:15
			people, younger people and older
people, then you have a
		
00:38:15 --> 00:38:16
			functioning, thriving
		
00:38:17 --> 00:38:21
			community. But the way that we're
doing it today, we're really
		
00:38:21 --> 00:38:23
			struggling because we're all
trying to do all those things
		
00:38:23 --> 00:38:28
			within the single household. And
it's quite difficult. So one of
		
00:38:28 --> 00:38:31
			the most important things that the
American Muslim community, I
		
00:38:31 --> 00:38:36
			think, has to think about is how
do we really develop these sorts
		
00:38:36 --> 00:38:40
			of community life communal life
that has many of these essential
		
00:38:40 --> 00:38:42
			things, mentorship,
		
00:38:44 --> 00:38:48
			nurturing, tarbiyah other people
helping you raise your children,
		
00:38:48 --> 00:38:52
			that sort of thing, extended
families, friendship,
		
00:38:53 --> 00:38:57
			sharing meals, all these sorts of
things that are quite important.
		
00:38:58 --> 00:39:00
			And I think from my experience,
the past
		
00:39:02 --> 00:39:08
			3035 years seeing what's going on
is most many of our Muslim
		
00:39:09 --> 00:39:13
			activity is focused around events.
So we like to hold conferences, we
		
00:39:13 --> 00:39:14
			like to hold
		
00:39:15 --> 00:39:21
			Ramadan nights, we like to do
fundraisers, but, you know, the
		
00:39:21 --> 00:39:28
			actual, you know, grassroots down,
you know, on the level of the of
		
00:39:28 --> 00:39:31
			the communities work type to be
done is not not nobody's doing it,
		
00:39:31 --> 00:39:34
			some people are doing but not
really on the scale, or I don't
		
00:39:34 --> 00:39:36
			think of this significance or
importance are attached to it.
		
00:39:37 --> 00:39:37
			That would
		
00:39:39 --> 00:39:42
			that would help us get us to a
place where it would be embedded
		
00:39:42 --> 00:39:45
			in our generation, and then
carried on to the next
		
00:39:45 --> 00:39:46
			generations, so forth.
		
00:39:49 --> 00:39:49
			So
		
00:39:51 --> 00:39:53
			almost out of time, I didn't want
to take more than 45 minutes to an
		
00:39:53 --> 00:39:55
			hour in case there are questions.
		
00:39:57 --> 00:39:59
			But I'm just going to outline how
the rest of
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:02
			The course is going to look like
		
00:40:03 --> 00:40:07
			I have a little picture, I draw a
drew here, and iPad, well, if
		
00:40:07 --> 00:40:10
			that's gonna show up on the
camera, but
		
00:40:12 --> 00:40:17
			I'll describe it then. So
basically, this box down here,
		
00:40:18 --> 00:40:23
			personal spiritual foundation,
right, which is the foundation of
		
00:40:23 --> 00:40:26
			the house, which lot everybody
gets to see, but it holds up the
		
00:40:26 --> 00:40:31
			rest. And, you know, this is
issues of working on your own
		
00:40:31 --> 00:40:35
			personal spirituality, your piety,
your relationship with Allah
		
00:40:35 --> 00:40:39
			subhanaw taala, you can't change
the rest of the house or build the
		
00:40:39 --> 00:40:44
			home unless that is it's built
upon that this is the SS, right?
		
00:40:44 --> 00:40:46
			This is the foundation, if you
don't have that foundation, the
		
00:40:46 --> 00:40:49
			rest of it will be very, very
difficult to build. In fact, when
		
00:40:49 --> 00:40:51
			you have a house with no
foundation, there's no house,
		
00:40:52 --> 00:40:55
			right? It's just a facade and can
be pushed over lockdown.
		
00:40:57 --> 00:41:01
			The second one, which is the
ground level here is the shared
		
00:41:01 --> 00:41:03
			spiritual environment.
		
00:41:04 --> 00:41:10
			So you're bringing your space, who
you are, and your understandings
		
00:41:10 --> 00:41:15
			and your piety and you're striving
but now you're sharing it in a
		
00:41:15 --> 00:41:19
			space with other people. So that
takes a little bit of navigation,
		
00:41:19 --> 00:41:22
			right. And now you want to create
spaces, both physical and
		
00:41:22 --> 00:41:25
			otherwise, that you're going to be
able to share with other people
		
00:41:25 --> 00:41:29
			and both of you or all of you
thrive.
		
00:41:30 --> 00:41:32
			Okay, so
		
00:41:33 --> 00:41:34
			and then
		
00:41:35 --> 00:41:37
			on the top level relationships.
		
00:41:39 --> 00:41:43
			So you have your personal
foundation space, then you have
		
00:41:43 --> 00:41:47
			the shared spiritual environment,
and then all that leads to well,
		
00:41:47 --> 00:41:51
			how now do I conduct my
relationship with others in the
		
00:41:51 --> 00:41:52
			home?
		
00:41:53 --> 00:41:57
			When all of those things in sha
Allah are, I think in line and are
		
00:41:57 --> 00:42:01
			we all doing our best with it,
then you'll have a home, not just
		
00:42:01 --> 00:42:04
			the house, right? You have
something that's thriving and have
		
00:42:04 --> 00:42:08
			something that when you're driving
back from work, you actually can't
		
00:42:08 --> 00:42:11
			wait to get home? Rather than
like, Oh, God, I gotta go.
		
00:42:13 --> 00:42:16
			And when you're in the house is
like, Oh, I gotta go to work
		
00:42:16 --> 00:42:21
			today. All right, rather than you
can't wait to get out. So we want
		
00:42:21 --> 00:42:23
			to create that space for
ourselves. We weren't created for
		
00:42:23 --> 00:42:27
			others want people to feel that
way. We want people who are not
		
00:42:27 --> 00:42:30
			from our home to come in. And when
they enter that space, they feel
		
00:42:30 --> 00:42:31
			like
		
00:42:32 --> 00:42:34
			this is the place I want to be,
this is a place I want to stay
		
00:42:36 --> 00:42:39
			and so forth. So Inshallah, we're
going to look in more detail in
		
00:42:39 --> 00:42:41
			each of those three things. And
that's pretty much going to
		
00:42:41 --> 00:42:42
			comprise
		
00:42:44 --> 00:42:46
			the seven remaining sessions and
shawl that we have with one
		
00:42:46 --> 00:42:50
			another. And hopefully there will
be some benefit with that in sha
		
00:42:50 --> 00:42:55
			Allah. So I'm going to stop here.
Isn't it Allah, Allah