10 Tips to Quit Porn Addiction

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Wael Ibrahim

Channel: Wael Ibrahim

Episode Notes

Wael Ibrahim shares ten tips to give up porn addiction for good.

Episode Transcript

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Mosley

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Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh and thank you so much for inviting me to the living Muslim show, my dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam. Welcome to this very, very important episode, inshallah we are going to discuss something that has become really widespread and alarming. And so I wanted all the parents, all the religious leaders and educators who are watching us today, not only to listen attentively and make notes, but rather to bring even their children's right now to watch this episode, and start making real notes so that you can show or tackle this important topic, what are we going to discuss and show a lot about we are going to discuss about pornography

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addiction. Now why did I choose this topic? My brothers and sisters in Islam, according to experts, pornography has become one of the most dangerous drugs of our time. Yes, you have heard it right. It is like drug, it is even more dangerous than cocaine and heroin. Because a cocaine addict or a heroin addict or or any of those addicts who are using hard drugs, you can quickly detect them, you can quickly recognize and identify them, because of their physical physical weakness. Maybe they can commit crimes, they can steal, he can even kill in order for them to have these kind of drugs. But a porno pornography addict might be a religious leader himself. She might be a hijab, you're an

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economy sister, but you can take them there is no any withdrawal symptom that you can notice. And that's why most of the people who will come asking for help,

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they would say that I have never really said this to anyone before, I had been watching porn for 2030 years, 15 years, 12 years. And you are the first one I'm telling this to. So it is really painful secret that is kept by addicts for for for many years. And that's why it is the right time for us to discuss it in public. I know that there are many Muslims around the world are very conservative. They don't want to talk about this. But if we don't talk about it this about it my brothers and sisters, how could we find a solution to it? So I believe that it is the right time for all the parents, all the educators and religious leaders to start studying the science behind

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pornography addiction? And how can we offer the necessary help for our brothers and sisters who are addicted to it? And yes, there are Muslims who are addicted to pornography, and we have to be very honest about it. And we have to be compassionate, and loving and kind to them so that they can show a lot break free from addiction cycle of pornography. Now why pornography really is an addictive thing. Number one, my brothers and sisters in Islam, it's accessibility. It is so easy to access pornography nowadays, 20 years back, or 25 years back, for anyone to watch porn, he would really go through a lot of hassle in order to obtain a VHS tape or a magazine. And in order to watch that tape

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or to go through this magazine, you have to hide you have to go somewhere he has to wait for his parents to sleep or something like that in order to watch and that's why it was less addictive. But nowadays, just on your cell phone, my brothers and sisters you can have access to these filthy images when I ever will. So number one, it's it's accessibility number one affordability years before you have to buy the tape or you have to rent the tape or you have to buy the magazine. Now all you need to do is to just click on your computer and here you go. You can have millions of websites of that nature relatable. So it's accessibility. Its affordability. It's

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the aggressive nature of porn well, either

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the porn industry intends to make porn so exciting to unextended that actually they go beyond the norm that these things are never happened in real intimacy in real sexual intercourse between husbands and wife. And the danger of that is my brother and sisters, that when a husband, watch porn will either Billa and see the images of the girls

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exploited in these movies. And then he looked back at his wife, she's not the same as this porn actress. Then he started to lose interest while I had the villa in in the real lawful intimacy. That's how porn becomes addictive. And the last point is, it is anonymous. like nobody can notice as we said that you are watching porn on your cell phone or on your laptop and that creates the

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cycle how it works. Now, the science will tell us that there is a lot of chemical reactions No, I don't want to go technical for now for this brief episode, because basically, this is part of a whole day workshop which I intend inshallah to conduct in different different parts of the world inshallah to help those who are trapped in the cycle of pornography addiction Sharla. So briefly, there are chemical reactions that normally pops in the brain whenever you like something, and one of these chemicals. reaction is dopamine, one of them. And it happens that dopamine is actually responsible for our happiness and responsible for our addiction. So for example, if you tasted

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sugar, and you liked the sugar so much, it would register immediately in your brain, that so and so like sugar. And so the dopa means job is to remind you, it's time for sugar, now it's time to eat sugar. And this exactly happened when you watch porn. Once you watch porn, the trigger would be popped up in your brain and the dopamine would be produced upon Allah, Allah subhanaw taala created this dopamine for the same purpose for your enjoyment, but Allah subhanaw taala when you're with with your wife,

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you know, enjoying the lawful relationship Allah subhanaw taala produced this chemical reaction in a very cat well calculated portion. But when you watch these things behind screens while it is produced in huge amount, so it disturb the system. And that's why you keep growing, watching again and again. So it stopped by what a trigger a trigger you watch something you did not protect your gaze. And that's why the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam advised us to lower our gaze or an Allah Subhana Allah says, Allah will move me and I will do many other sorry him I follow follow john, tell to the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty. So whenever you you walk down the

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street and something triggered you, you have to immediately divert your gaze. And the same applies to the sisters, Allah Subhana Allah says in the Quran, till to the believing woman to lower the gates and to guard their modesty. The Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam also informed us that the gaze is an arrow from the errors of shaitan. That's what shaitan wanted you to end up doing. watching porn oil is the biller. And then the problem with porn is that it accelerate the things that you used to watch five years back. It's not exciting as it's not exciting anymore. So you want something different? What are the bill? So there are some people who will come to me and tell me,

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brother, I am not a gay, I am not a homosexual yet, I started to watch these things because I'm not getting the pleasure that I used to when I watched the normal, you know, sex between man and woman while I had a blast, so it makes you act in an abnormal way, sometimes, so panela and at the end, you will have to look for where the blood prostitution house, you will have to act out in one lll john. So a trigger and number two is a justification. This is the cycle of pornography addicts.

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The justification is you will start saying it is better than Zinner. It is better than going out and hunting for a prostitute. So watching porn is okay. So you will justify your action. So a trigger justification and then the action and after the action and the pleasure expected you will start feeling terribly regret you know and and feeling that you have I wish I never had access to this to these things regret and then comes next is false quitting. There are some people after they watch and they get the pleasure that they wanted. They say From now on, I'm not going to watch porn anymore. And that's we call false quitting. Because afterwards if you do not protect your gaze, you

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will relapse. And you will have you will watch again and again and you will you will keep yourself in that cycle for many, many years. I will just tell you one story of a person who approached me and he told me that he had an access for porn for 43 years, when porn was really difficult to access at the time, he was a photographer. These take pictures of naked people will either be loved and used to pleasure himself to death until he reached the point after marrying

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his his beloved wife and having children from her three daughters and a son. His daughter caught him in the act. His daughter caught him watching porn or liable. And when he came to my office, he said what? I have never seen my family for three years because of porn, although he gets rid of watching porn Alhamdulillah but the consequence was terribly bad, not seeing his family, my brothers and sisters in Islam This is the cycle of porn, which many people are trapped in for for many, many years and it is time to take an action. So what are the tips that we wanted to

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discuss today inshallah, in order for you to get

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on the path of recovery inshallah, but I have to also warn you that these tips that are

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I'm going to discuss may not apply for everyone, it actually depends on your level of addiction. So some people these steps doesn't work with some people these tips might be helpful but they are very essential. So what is tip number one tip number one is to seek a loss. I have read over 150 books regarding this subject my brother and sisters, but I haven't seen any book says seek Allah's help because most of the books written on this subject are from secular point of view from non religious point of view so they don't really mention the point of seeking a loss help but in Islam so Pamela, the power of the hub has been neglected my brothers and sisters seek a loss help big him you know,

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in your salon big him in your diet. Don't say I'm filthy I'm sinner, Allah Subhana Allah will not respond any way don't ever give hope a las panatela said in Allah halal food Luba Jamia Allah subhanaw taala is forgiving all sins, Allah is oft forgiving, Most Merciful latok Natoma Rahmatullah don't ever despair, in the mercy from the mercy of Allah subhanaw taala So don't ever say Allah hates me, Allah doesn't like me alone will not respond to my daughter. keep on asking Allah Subhana Allah to help you get rid of this problem.

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According to Ibrahim alayhis salam, the Prophet Ibrahim as recorded in Lahore, and he said that when I get sick, it is Allah who cures me.

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The last name is a Shafi no one who cures to seek a Lost Planet Allah has helped. Number two, as I told you, I read many, many books regarding this subject, all of them agreed that you have to tell someone, you can't keep it secret anymore. But be careful, you have to tell someone whom you trust, you have to be careful Whom are you going to tell this story to you. So if you are a husband, maybe you can tell your wife because normally, our sisters will be patient, and they will try to you know, help you out with this problem. But if you are a wife, it's not, you know, advisable to go and tell your husband because maybe he would react differently. You know, our natures are so different. Men

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are more jealous than woman. And so if the husband comes to know that his wife is watching porn or addicted to pornography, it might create a very bad consequence. So you may tell a very close friend, you may tell a coach, a professional coach, a counselor, and he would help you in Sharla to go about the curing journey in sha Allah number three, eliminate all pornographic

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pictures, images from your computer, even you start, you know, staying away from TV itself from you know, TV series, hollywood, bollywood and all these things because many people think that pornography is only about two people having sex, but rather even a girl wearing inappropriate clothes can be a kind of pornography trigger to those who are addicted to stay away from any of these movies. Or else you'd be relapsed again and again and the relapse feels so bad. Many people will say the guilt is so heavy now. And that makes them reach to a level of depression, deep, deep depression. My brother and sisters. I have a brother who came to me he's 18 years old boy. And the

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first sentence he uttered was what? I wanted to commit suicide. A Muslim wanted to commit suicide my brother and sisters because of porn because he reached a point that is he kept on watching porn for six hours every night for three continuous years.

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handler now he's doing well. And handler now he's porn free. He he was successful in getting rid of pornography, but he's suffering from a very severe disease called erectile dysfunction. He don't he don't have the ability to get married anymore and function normally. Because as a result of wasting all his the best time of his life, the youth

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watching porn Olazabal so be careful my brothers and sisters, and number four is to divide your goals into small goals. So for example, some people as I said, there is a false quitting period where you said, I'm never gonna watch porn anymore. This doesn't work in most cases. Instead, you say what, okay, today's Thursday. I'm not going to watch porn until the next Thursday. So you have one week to stay away from porn. And when is the night when it reach inshallah you start making another small goal, okay? I've been away from porn for one week now. So I'm going to stop for another three days, another four days, another three days, another four days. So whenever you reach

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to your goal, you give yourself another small goal. So divide your goal into small goals. Number five, do not ever punish yourself when you fall because you will. You will relapse again and again. Pornography Addiction. My brothers and sister is very compulsive is very powerful, that people actually are addicted to porn. They do not want to watch porn. That's that's the thing that we have.

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To understand, and that's why I'm advising my teachers, my scholars of the dean, to really be considerate when someone come and tell you that I'm addicted to porn, or I'm watching porn and I can't get rid of it. Instead of telling them haram haram Haram, which is, of course, it's important to inform them that it is haram, but that in most cases don't work. Because they're addicted. They can't help themselves to stay away from porn. So we need to really study the science behind this addiction or to offer them some help. Remember the story of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, when a man came to him and told him allow me to commit adultery. You see, this is this was a person

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who is considered to be among the best of all generations, one of the companions of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu sallam. Now, the Prophet Muhammad SAW Selim didn't tell him, we didn't tell him it's Haram. He didn't tell him Don't you know that the her answered about adultery, that this is the punishment and so on so forth. The Prophet Paul celan, did not get angry at the man but rather he told him, otter dahulu omic, do you accept this to happen to your mother? Do you accept this to happen to your sister to your daughter, and so on and so forth? And the man in every question who would answer by saying, No, I don't accept this to happen to my family members from for my loved

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ones. And then the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam started to reason with the man by saying, other people don't like this to happen to their parents, to their mothers to their daughters, and so on so forth. And the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam because he was sent as a mercy to mankind, he did something extra, he placed his hand over the man's heart, and he made a diet for him y'all Allah, Allah remove the love of woman from his heart meaning unlawful woman from his heart, and after that, the man was good to go on the path of purity. So, sometimes we need to tackle the subject not from a spiritual viewpoint, but rather from a scientific viewpoint, it would work

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especially when it is addictive behavior. Number six, my brothers and sisters who are addicted, who noticed now that what I have been discussing in the past few minutes, that yes, I am suffering from this addiction. Every time I I promised myself never to watch again. And yet I can't help myself. And I go again and again and watch porn. So what I should do develop new habit.

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Monitor yourself. When do I normally watch porn? Most people will say that I watch porn past midnight, like you know when everybody is asleep. Now the key here in order to break that habit as well, is to sleep early. You start to develop the habit of sleeping early and don't tell me you know, I can't sleep before two. I can't sleep before 3am I have tried a lot. Don't tell me that because you are talking to someone who used to sleep at federal time Yanni. People would would go to the masjid for fetcher. And our go to sleep during fetcher and I would wake up during megagrip time because I used to sing I go, I used to go to bars. So so panela habits can change the Power of Habit

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is scientifically proven that it can work it can be adjusted. So just try to shift your habits. See what you're normally when do you watch porn and break that cycle? And if you are able to successfully to practice this habit for 14 days as psychology to say, you will be able to get rid of porn inshallah. Number seven, be honest,

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in seeking the cure, like if you have already spoken to someone, a professional coach or a close friend, always tell them whenever you relapse, so when you relapse, always tell them that I have relapsed, what can I do? And then they will go inshallah and give you more tips or more different curing tips inshallah, that can work with you, but don't lie to yourself and don't lie to them. And number eight is don't be fooled, as we said earlier by false quitting when you quit porn for two months, three months, don't say hey handle, I got rid of porn. Finally. Don't do that. Don't be happy. Continue with your plan. Continue with the habits that you have developed. Whether it is

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sports, swimming, sleeping early, reading beneficial books, continue with this habit for a long time. I would say that if you are able to successfully to shift your habit and never to watch porn for one year, then only then we can say that your hamdulillah you have reached the path of purity number nine, my brother and sister and this is something very, very important. remind yourself of the negative consequences of porn. You know, even I myself I put a reminder on my laptop that says what Allah is watching me.

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Can you imagine whenever you open your laptop or even your cell phone you look at your cell phone. You see a reminder says Allah is watching you. Be careful. How could you watch porn on a laptop that says, Allah is watching you? You are not alone.

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Don't be when you lock all doors when you lock all windows and think they think that you're alone because your parents are not around. Don't be fooled Allah subhanaw taala Rocky is watching you to make these reminders and remember you might die while watching porn, my brothers and sisters in Islam and the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam said what? That a man would be resurrected on the day of judgment upon the last thing that he had performed. So imagine with me You're resurrecting to meet Allah subhanaw taala while watching porn? Can you imagine? What would you explain? How will you explain this to us panel to Allah.

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The Prophet Paul Samson deeds will be judged by its endings whatever you have done at the end of your life, will determine your destiny with agenda or hell will either be less or remember the consequence of watching porn because I know of examples will lie from the city where I live now Hong Kong city I know of an example of people who died while clicking on these channels while at the villa May Allah subhanaw taala save us. I mean, the last point I have here is you have to learn. Now this is for parents, for educators and even for those who are addicted. You have to learn about this filthy industry, about those people who have actually produced the insulted movie about our Prophet

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Muhammad SAW Selim they are the same people who are producing porn. So you're supporting the products, you are actually making them rich by just one click to learn about this industries. And after you learn raise awareness yourself. I'm actually calling people to join my team so that we can try to help those who are addicted and even if you yourself is addicted. When you get involved in these programs in sha Allah to break free those who are addicted to porn you yourself inshallah, on the long run will be benefited. Last word for those who are addicted. I wanted to say that my brothers and sisters in Islam, you are not really morally sick person. You are not a bad person. You

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are not your addiction. Your addiction is not yourself. I know that you have now developed something like you know you are struggling between two personality. One person is telling you watch porn anyway. And the other person within yourself is telling you it's haram we can do that. We can say Allahu Akbar in our Salah. And these images cross our minds How could we focus on Salah while we are actually watching porn? Well, I used to be lamea las panatela save our children. So you're not that person. I want you to know that you're not alone in this addiction there are millions of people Muslims and non Muslims alike who are suffering from from this addiction. So don't give hope. Don't

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give up hope. My brothers and sisters in Islam I am offering this service for free. So those who wish to contact me to get more tips, more reading materials or even coaching one on one chala you You are free to do so May Allah subhanaw taala protect our own from falling into this trap. I mean, I mean, I mean there's a common law hiren salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah