Tom Facchine – We Need To Talk About Converts

			Being a convert is extremely difficult. And it becomes much more difficult when we face rejection
from our local Muslim community. And that can be for a lot of reasons. A lot of times Muslim
communities, families or individuals who were sort of born to a Muslim family, they're not prepared
to deal with sort of the conflicts and the problems that converts deal with, you know, we're not
perfect people, right? Some of us have addiction issues, some of which I've been to prison, some of
us who have been, you know, lots of stuff. And then when we convert, we're really looking for
family. And we're really looking for support. And sometimes people they withhold, sometimes they
		

			they hold back, and they don't realize how much even a little stuff means they're afraid of getting
us in a situation where you know, somebody becomes dependent, or someone's being dishonest and
asking for help. And hey, that happens. It's true, but there's a whole lot of commerce out there
that really just a little bit would go a long way to making them feel supported and giving them some
hope. And if they don't need support, then they definitely need just community. It's an open secret,
you know that the loneliest time for conferences is the holidays and eat and these sorts of things.
Because everybody who has a Muslim family, they know what they're doing, you know, they go and they
		

			visit the oldest relatives, then this relative and that relative, and if you're a convert, you're
the only one in your family and you're not married with kids, or even if you are you're just by
yourself. So this is definitely you know, Congress need knowledge and people have focused on
providing knowledge but most people aren't in a position to give knowledge that everybody is in
position to be a friend and to be a support and that comes back to something that is generally true
is that most people and Muslims are included in this are not very intentional to them make friends
with they make friends like everybody else make friends like the non Muslims make friends with
		

			people have the same background as you the people the same socio economic status as you have people
that you just naturally jive with how many of us are really trying to go out of our way to make
friends with people who are different from ourselves or people who might need our friendship and US
intend that friendship to be worshipped for a loss found out you know, the prophesy Saddam, he said
that three types of people are three things that if you do, you will taste the sweetness of faith,
and one of them is that you don't love somebody else except for Allah sake. Right. So that's the
whole point is that you call them up or you invite them over, or you include them in a social
		

			gathering that you're having for no other reason than for Allah sake. Right. That's what it looks
like. And so it's difficult for a convert, but on the Congress side of things, you know, you have to
put yourself in the mindset that you can't let your happiness depend on other people because other
people are going to let you down. You know, I let people down all the time. You know, there's only
so many hours in the day, I'm not a perfect person. Sometimes I lose patience. Sometimes I'm not as
attentive to some things as I could be. And that's everybody else too. Right? So if you put your
faith in people that are gonna disappoint you, they're gonna let you down. You have to have the
		

			mindset of Ibrahim right? I lost count Allah says that Ibrahim was an ummah by himself, right? He
didn't have any support system. He believed in what he believed he left his homeland, and it was him
in the desert and he was alone, you know? Yeah, of course, then he had his wife and his family, but
he was very much alone. And so it helps I think for from the Congress side of things to put yourself
in that mentality, not in sort of standoffish, well, that way, like I don't need anybody like but to
realize to not expect anybody, don't expect anyone to come and save you. Right? At the end of the
day, it's about your relationship with your Lord. And Allah said, he's going to resurrect us alone,
		

			just as we came into this world alone. So it's a balance, there's a sweet spot, we would like there
to be community we would like there to be support and from the community side, they should provide
it, you know, but just to protect yourself, you know, as a convert. Sometimes you have to put
yourself in this mentality that you know, you're born alone, you're gonna die alone, you're gonna be
resurrected alone. You can't hold your breath and wait around for people to be your friend.