Tom Facchine – Riyadh al-Saliheen and Women’s Q&A #34

Tom Facchine
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The speakers discuss the importance of hearing people and their behavior in relation to health and behavior. They touch on the negative impact of images on people's emotions and how they can lead to racist behavior. The conversation also touches on the history of feminism and the importance of being a woman and not just shaming people. The speakers stress the need for intentional language and avoiding labels to avoid confusion and misunderstandings. They also emphasize the importance of avoiding "has been defined" labels and engaging in common language to avoid confusion and misunderstandings.

AI: Summary ©

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			Mr. Heyman
		
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			Mohammed Ali here.
		
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			Well, it's good to see all the home that I didn't know, we may in fact right now in fact, Nambi
mountain Unternehmens in the mean. So I'm on a law running Welcome to Thursday night, our class for
the ladies, Real Salt Hain and q&a. I haven't really received any questions as of late. So
		
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			more real sort of human q&a at the moment. But if you ever have any questions, suggestions, things
that you want to have explored. There's a ton of juicy topics out there.
		
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			So please send in your questions through WhatsApp or through the Facebook page or through email or
whatever is your preferred method of communication or even right here, if you're in the zoom, or if
you're following a live stream of comments, chat box, whatever it is.
		
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			As for
		
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			the other side of hand, we're in the chapter of patience. And
		
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			get up are one translation here.
		
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			And I have a different translation.
		
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			With me that I'll read from we're at Heidi 34 of the chapter this one is on the authority of Ennis
or the Allahu Anhu.
		
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			That he heard the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi salam saying, Allah azza wa jal said, when I
flicked my, my slave with his two deer things, ie his eyes, and he endures patiently, I shall
compensate him for them with Jana.
		
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			So we have
		
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			a hadith could see here, right we say that
		
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			the prophesy Saddam is informing us about something that Allah subhanaw taala himself said,
		
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			which gives it a little bit extra punch and extra importance and significance.
		
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			And the information that Allah wants us to know
		
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			is that particularly if he afflicts us with the loss of our eyes, or our eyesight
		
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			And we are able to endure this loss patiently that he will compensate that patients with paradise.
		
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			And it stands to explore or meditate upon why Allah subhanaw taala would single out eyesight as
opposed to any other of our senses. We have five senses that we commonly talk about why what's so
special about eyesight? Or what is it about eyesight compared to
		
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			the other senses that would make specifically
		
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			patients in the face of losing eyesight? Something that is rewardable with Paradise, what do you
think?
		
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			What is it about eyesight? That deserves special mention compared to other senses?
		
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			Okay, they will come at a question with a question. Why do billboards exist?
		
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			Yeah. Okay, so we have one of the chatbox eyesight is an immediate sense, the others either kind of
mediated, they need more thinking to evaluate what is in your surroundings? Okay. I'll expound on
that a little bit. Let's take different senses are of various importance to human beings. And some
of them, like sister said, are more immediate and last more in our memories. Right. And they're even
more powerful and evocative. Right? There's a reason why I mean, we all know that the advertisers
want our money. Right? Like, that's what they want. They want it, they want to get us. Yeah, it
makes a very strong impact. They want us to get to buy something. What do they use? Right? Do they
		
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			it's not just the jingles it's not you know, they're not holding out smells for us. You know, as
we're driving past on the highway, you know, they might use that stuff, in addition to the visual,
but the main thing is the visual, right? Everything today, I mean, Subhan. Allah, the Quran and the
Sunnah were revealed at a time before photography and the widespread dissemination of images, right.
And even at their time, they understand how central image is to human learning and human memory, and
human emotion, the image is the most powerful thing, right? We have this phrase a picture's worth
1000 words, right? And that's very true. The most powerful literature fiction in you know, in
		
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			language is the kind that can give you that mental image, you're seeing the things right in front of
your eyes. Right. And we've reached the time where advertising and marketing exploit that we're
bombarded with image images everywhere, billboards, and et cetera, et cetera, time to get us to time
to create new desires within us or capitalize on fundamental universal desires in order to spend
money to buy their products. You know, if you were they don't have to say anything, you know,
because if, if the advertisers and the marketers had to actually spell out into words, what they
were trying to say, or what they were trying to imply, it would look rather silly, right? Think
		
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			about all of like, the cigarette ads, or the alcohol adds, it's like, you know, drink this and
you'll look cool,
		
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			is the subtext of a lot of the ads. And if you put it into words, it sounds silly, it sounds corny,
no one would believe it. But if you do it with images, right, the person that's doing this activity,
you know, they make them look cool, and they don't have to say anything, because the image is
extremely, extremely powerful. Right?
		
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			There's a lot more that can be said, when it comes to images and how images have, you know, taken
over our society and the pros and the cons of that.
		
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			But
		
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			suffice it to say that what Allah was trying to tell us here is that eyesight is fundamental to how
human beings experience the world. It's perhaps the most central thing to how we learn to how we
observe to how we interact with the world around us, much more central than our smell, or taste,
even our hearing. And so, that's why that particular blessing is mentioned for Jenna
		
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			If we are to have patience in the face of losing it
		
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			the next Hadith on our PA is an Abbe roba. He said that my bass companion said to me, Shall I show
you?
		
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			Someone, a woman from the women of Paradise?
		
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			He's not talking about anyone who's dead. He's talking about someone who's among the living. So best
has information that this particular person is from the people of paradise, which means he must have
heard it from the Prophets Elisa. Okay, aha, the narrator says, okay, yeah, sure, show me. And then
I'm gonna best says to her, this black woman
		
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			who came to the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam and said, I suffer from epilepsy. And during fits, my
body becomes exposed. So make supplication to Allah for me. He the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam replied, If you wish to endure it patiently,
		
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			you will be rewarded with gender, or, or he's giving her two options or if you wish, I can ask a lot
to cure you.
		
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			Her response
		
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			and this is what got her paradise. I shall endure it.
		
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			But then she added upon second thought she said, but my body is exposed. Meaning when she has these
fits, so pray to Allah, that that may not happen.
		
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			The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, then supplicated for her. This is in Sahih Bukhari and
Muslim.
		
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			There's a lot of stuff in this small Hadith, right? The first thing that we see is
		
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			Islams
		
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			stay stance on racism or colorism or we should say anti racism. Right, you notice that Abdullah in
our best points that he says, Hey, this black lady, and Black has absolutely no connotation of
		
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			negativity. Right? In fact, our PA is asking about who's in paradise.
		
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			And Abdullah, if not best points out this particular black lady.
		
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			Right. And this is something that occurs in many languages. It's not considered politically correct
here in the United States or in the English language, but in many languages, to identify someone buy
something that they look like. It's not necessarily it's not necessarily a pejorative usage, it's
not necessarily an insult. It's not necessarily a,
		
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			an insult. So in this case, it's clearly not because I'm polite when our boss is talking about
someone who is walking among us who is has already been promised paradise.
		
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			So it bears standing, bears mentioning now because we live in a time where the United States is
undergoing a reckoning with its racist past, and the racial and racist things that have occurred in
this place in this part of the world,
		
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			by the government, and by private citizens, were involved in an enormous reckoning, that's long
overdue, when it comes to racial issues, how people of different, quote unquote races are
characterized,
		
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			and how they are
		
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			treated by various institutions, historically, and at present. And this is one of the many things
that
		
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			Islam has a lot to say about.
		
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			And if you recall, in February, we had a series of slippers on learning from the black companions.
And
		
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			we saw many, many different things and many different companions and many different stories.
		
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			But there's a tightrope that we have to walk here, because whenever a society reckons, with its own
past ills
		
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			in the search to solve those ills, it might create other follies, right? It might make mistakes,
whether those mistakes are not going far enough. Or sometimes even those mistakes might be
overreaching, or going too far, or
		
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			might be something completely unrelated, that is kind of packaged into this project, this otherwise
worthwhile project that doesn't belong or is something that is disagreeable or that we would find
disagreeable to our fate. And this happened with feminism. And this is happening with the racial
reckoning that's going on in our country right now, and happens with other issues. Right? We have a
place that a government that has persecuted
		
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			and oppressed a group of people for so long
		
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			and so
		
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			For many creative ways
		
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			that the push back and the energy now
		
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			there are some things, it's not guided by revelation. Right, like our tradition is. And so we find
some things that it hits right on the head completely correct. And some things that is completely
off kilter.
		
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			Right like with feminists, like the movement for feminism was to try to initially get women the
right to inherit property, and the right to vote, and the right to be treated like a legal entity,
things that Islam had given women 1400 years ago.
		
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			Right, this is completely fine, praiseworthy. But then, with the second wave of feminism in the 60s,
in the 70s, we have not just a war against these institutional inequalities, we have a war against
the very phenomenon of gender, or the very essential nature of what it means to be a male, or what
it means to be a female. And so we have no things tied into the movement, that are
		
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			completely inimical and contradict the benefit of the people that it's supposed to be that it's
supposed to be helping. And we've seen that in our times the results of this kind of
		
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			radical turn of second wave feminism and etc.
		
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			But the thing is unguarded, guided by revelation. And so we have a mixed bag.
		
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			Like a pendulum shift, exactly. Some things were taken too far. And that's not to say that someone
can have too many rights. That's not what we're saying. But how we conceptualize of rights in the
first place, what things are rights and one thing what things aren't rights, right, is an open
discussion, we have now the
		
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			we have now the slogan, you know, my body my choice, which is something that is fundamentally
opposed to the theology of Islam and every other major deen or religious tradition where we believe
that ultimate sovereignty and ownership belongs to Allah, and our bodies and our souls, and
everything is just lent to us for a specific time period. Right. And so now we have a movement,
which is historically bound in the United States in this time that is responding to different sort
of phenomena. But it's not guided by revelation. And so it's a mixed bag, some things are completely
true 100%, and some things are way off. And so, we also find that with the racial reckoning that's
		
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			going on with critical race theory, and some of the other things that are happening, some of the
things are completely 100% Spot on.
		
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			When it comes to not treating people differently, according to the skin, the color of their skin,
right, which is strictly known as colorism.
		
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			When the Companions they reached Egypt, they had an encounter with one of the kings in Egypt, and
the messenger that they sent to him was was black. And the King refused to talk to this black
Muslim,
		
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			just because of the color of his skin. And the Companions refused to send anybody else, right. It's
an amazing moment of solidarity. And they were very explicit with him.
		
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			Even though like the things that the king said to the Companions would make you blush like they're
like from right out of the 40s and the 50s in the United States.
		
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			But the response from the companions that he is the best one of us.
		
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			He is the most righteous of us, and He is our messenger and our leader.
		
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			And they forced the king of Egypt to deal with this black man, this black Muslim man,
		
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			instead of kind of, you know, letting him kind of dictate who should be the representatives.
		
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			So something like that is completely 100% on the head.
		
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			Right. But there's other things where it might go too far. Or they might not be the other movement
isn't guided by revelation. And so some things might be off, right. Holding an entire group of
people accountable for the actions of some people is something that
		
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			is not completely against our tradition, in every single case. There are instances like the when it
comes to
		
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			things such as the loss of life and things like that there can be not I'm not, whether you call it a
group punishment, or collective punishment that I believe is the term, right, but there are societal
groups that have to bear the sins of others.
		
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			Right? In certain areas of manslaughter and murder and things like that. That's true.
		
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			But to go around and to point the finger at this and to to hate the other race or to hate another
color in response to the historical hatred of of a different color is also wrong. Right.
		
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			And so, you know, there are things within our tradition that are important that we bring along with
us
		
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			that are kind of part of the indigenous Islamic anti
		
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			racist effort, such as
		
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			accountability or accounting for the soul, that's a big thing. Right? Like a lot of social movements
these days, they don't account for the fact that people have souls.
		
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			Right? Many of them are material, they come out of the materialists tradition of Marxism or, or
whatever have you. And so they imagine that the individual human being does not have a soul, or they
don't calculate that into their, that's not in their equation. And so whatever project that they
have is going to be lacking because it doesn't account for this fundamental part of human nature,
that every single society and civilization has recognized up until recently. Right, we have in our
tradition, individual accountability in the hereafter. Right, people are going to be accountable for
what they do, and not for what somebody else does. And allows patata knows the kind of opportunity
		
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			that each individual had in order to free themselves from wrongdoing, etc, etc.
		
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			Another thing that we have is the invitation to for others to improve, right? There's so much
vilification that goes on in contemporary social movements. This wasn't the matter of the Prophet
salallahu alayhi salam, right. He didn't grind it into people's faces, you're the oppressor, you
need to do this, you need to do that.
		
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			In fact, we find the opposite the story of Evo Sofia, and how he became a Muslim is something that
would be very instructive for people engaged in activism, and social movements for justice. That was
a few hours a greedy guy. We have this established in other Hadith, like when, when his wife hand
came to the prophesy setup, and said directly, that I was against greedy, he doesn't give me my
money. What should I do the promise? I said, I'm said, yeah, yeah. She said to the promise, I said,
I just take what I need anyway, is this, okay? And he said, Yeah, that's fine. Take it. He didn't
tell her stuff for law. How could you say that He's greedy. He wasn't really guy. That was what he
		
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			did. But when the Prophet sallallahu Sallam dealt with him as an individual, he didn't call them out
on something that was embarrassing. And that would have been very, very hard for him to deal with
directly, he worked around him and worked with them, and invited him to be a better person.
		
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			Right, he didn't when he brought Abu Sufian out to see the Muslim army before fed Smith go before
the conquering of NUCCA.
		
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			He showed him the army and I was to Fianna starts to you know, shaking his boots a little bit. And
he's on the fence. He's about to accept Islam. And he knows the thing that's holding us back is his
pride.
		
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			And so the province I sent him, he doesn't call him and say, Yo, stop being proud. You need to
humble yourself and accept this. He works with his pride. He says, Listen, anybody who your house
will be safe. If you become a Muslim, and everybody who comes to your house, they will be safe. So
he gives them this kind of, you know, this kind of pride. And then later after the conquering of
Mecca, and they go out to thought if and they fight the battle of her name and housing
		
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			that was again comes up and asks for, for money. Like because they had they had gotten so much, you
know, money from that from the battle.
		
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			And he's like, Yo, give me some money and the prophesy said I'm didn't say a stop for Allah. Fear
Allah. Why don't you you know, humble yourself. You're too greedy. You want this? No, he said below,
give him this much. And as much I was if he comes back again, give me more. The problem homicides
said, I'm says Be thou give him more a third time, a fourth time. And what was the result?
		
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			He captured Abu Sufian his heart.
		
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			He captured Abu Sufian his heart.
		
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			Ironically, this was the way of the older activists and social justice. You know, folks that we used
to have the Martin Luther King Jr's and the Malcolm X's, they understood that you had to give a role
you had to invite the oppressor to become a better version of themselves,
		
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			without necessarily just shaming them and calling them out and confronting them every time head on.
And this is something that social justice movements that I lack, and it's something that Islam and
the Sunnah of the prophesy center encourages us to do as well.
		
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			So that's the the, excuse me for my tangent, but this is something that as Muslims, we have to be
very smart. We do not have to accept every single thing as an entire package. We understand that
when it comes to women's rights when it comes to black power, or anti racism efforts in the United
States, or any other efforts. We don't have to swallow the whole thing. We don't have to accept
everything. Right we can say that the
		
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			This, this and that are part of our tradition. And we completely stand for that. But this and that
that contradicts our tradition. And we can't, we can't get down with that. That's not part of what
we do. It's not part of what we believe.
		
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			So that's the first thing that stands out to me about this particular Hadith. The next thing is that
the value of modesty and decency, this woman is very concerned, she's more concerned with the fact
that she gets exposed upon her fits of epilepsy, then she is about having to suffer through those
fits in the first place.
		
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			Which is remarkable, right, this is somebody and we see why she was able to obtain gender, the
promise of gender in her own life.
		
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			Because she's already thinking primarily about the afterlife, and not primarily about this life,
whatever she experiences in this life of pain, and suffering is a small, small thing. Whereas
something that might contradict the religion or something that might adversely affect your spiritual
life is something that she's very, very concerned about.
		
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			And so her main gripe is that when I have these fits, I expose myself What should I do?
		
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			Or actually, she, her solution was to ask the prophesy Saddam to pray for her and the prophesy son
recognizes her intelligence and her her priorities. And he guides her to something that is better.
		
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			And this is a tried and true method of the Prophet Mohammed Salah said I'm, and something that every
Imam and daddy and teacher and scholar tries their best to recreate is that sometimes someone asks
you for something. And your job is not to give them what they asked for. But to show them something
better. Right? I had a couple one time reach out to me it was a brother.
		
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			You know, marriage issues are very common. And he asked me,
		
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			he asked me, what was the Islamic ruling, which is always how the question is asked, What's the
Islamic ruling about having a snake? Owning a snake? Okay. If it's my first day on the job, I would
say, well, it's permissible or Well, it's not permissible whatever.
		
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			This the legal that the legal, you know, I Hadith whatever principle,
		
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			but a little bit more experienced that Hamdulillah. I asked him, Why are you asking?
		
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			And it turns out that he was asking, he said, because his wife was terrified of snakes,
		
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			and didn't want to have a snake in the house. And he was really wanted to keep the snake.
		
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			And so he's asking me, you know, she maybe was under the impression that it was, you know, or
whether she was or not, he wanted to basically ammo in his argument to say that, look, it's
permissible, Allah made it permissible. And so.
		
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			So what would you tell him?
		
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			You're now the Imam or the shaker. And they come to you. I told him, Listen, if you can worship
Allah by doing something your wife wants, then you should do it.
		
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			And that's it. That's all I said to him.
		
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			I was like, well, but you didn't answer my question. What about the permissibility? And I didn't, I
never answered his question, because it was the wrong question, is the wrong question.
		
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			The right question is, how can I worship Allah through my spouse? And is this really something that
I want to deal with the long term consequences of is having a snake or a pet or whatever worth,
terrifying my wife and potentially alienating her from me? No, it's not.
		
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			So someone's coming with a set of priorities that are
		
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			off kilter. And the prophets Allah is set them
		
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			or an Imam, or the sheikh, or whatever is supposed to
		
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			guide to what's even better.
		
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			So the prophesy Saddam doesn't accept
		
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			her her question. She asks, Can you pray for me?
		
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			And he says, Listen, I'll give you two options. The first thing that we can do is you can be patient
with it. And Allah will give you paradise.
		
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			The second thing that we could do is that I asked a lot to cure you and you'll be cured.
		
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			This woman, again, like we said, she's coming at it with the completely right priorities. She
understands that the dunya is then eat
		
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			that though this world is low, and she realizes that the real, the real abode is the afterlife, and
she says, I'm going to be patient. If I can get paradise, just by being patient with this, I'll be
patient. But then she has a second thought and she's like, listen, that still doesn't solve my
problem.
		
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			Which was me becoming exposed, which I'm concerned about because that also has to do with my
afterlife.
		
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			And so the Prophet SAW I said, I prayed for her, that she would not be exposed.
		
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			And so this very, very intelligent sharp woman got both
		
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			more than she even wanted in the beginning, she gets the promise of Jenner for being
		
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			patient with the issue. And she gets the DUA, the Prophet saw a sudden, and that she felt of Allah
and the the healing of Allah subhanaw taala because she had the right priorities.
		
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			So she already has the internal worship, which is patients covered. And she availed herself of the
means of taking of for, for preserving her external worship, which is her modesty. And that is
something that we see today. You know, we mentioned earlier, my body, my choice, and too often, too
often, the idea of the hijab,
		
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			and whether the hijab is Whadjuk, or what this and what that was the ruling of the hijab, do Muslim
men forced their women to wear it, because this is always the perennial fear of orientalists in the
West is that the most scary Muslim man was going around forcing his his women folk to do things that
she doesn't want to do.
		
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			Right. And so now as a reaction to that women have started to justify the hijab. On terms of choice,
right? Let's say that No, no, no one's forcing me this is my choice.
		
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			This my body my choice, right? And we would say, Look, they've already smuggled in something into
Islam that wasn't there before.
		
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			Look at how sneaky that was.
		
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			Our bodies belong to Allah.
		
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			It's your choice to comply. Yeah. But it's not really your choice. In the sense of like, you have an
equal like, if you do, it's fine. If you don't, it's fine.
		
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			What the hijab is, it's worship, your modesty is worship, your love for decency and covering
yourself as worship.
		
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			It's an act of worship and devotion to your Creator. It's an act of gratitude to your Creator.
		
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			So this is how all of these things happen. At this time. We, our own principles and tradition is
smuggled away from us. We're forced to justify ourselves
		
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			in an arena of concepts that are foreign to us.
		
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			Right?
		
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			All of us.
		
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			So having the right priorities will take you far, we see that Allah helps her in exactly the area
that she needs. And she gets she paid, she patiently endures her illness, and so it is a cause for
her for entering paradise.
		
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			But in the same way, we are also explained to the current climate, how they understand Hey, Jeff.
		
00:33:03 --> 00:33:07
			Who's the day? I don't understand. I was with you until today.
		
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			We are explaining to the current climate, how they understand Hey, Jeff.
		
00:33:16 --> 00:33:20
			I mean, I'm inclined to agree with you. But I don't know. Who's the guy in your sentence?
		
00:33:32 --> 00:33:33
			That was opposed to Yeah.
		
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			Yeah. No, it's true. Here's the difference. I'm glad. I'm glad you said that stress, man. Because
there's a difference between
		
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			apologetics, right, which is about you defending like consciously defending your tradition,
		
00:33:52 --> 00:34:35
			upon grounds and with concepts and ideas and criteria that somebody else accepts, right? Obviously,
somebody who doesn't believe in God, or they don't believe in Revelation, they don't care that like
it's worship, they just think you're this crazy oppressed person, right? No problem that's to engage
in a conversation with such a person and try to use a common language that makes sense to that
person is completely fine. The problem is when we don't realize that we're intentionally doing that
and we internalize. You know what I mean? The internalization is the danger. If you're going to have
that conversation, you have to be very, very intentional. And realize that this is what I'm doing.
		
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			I'm only putting things like this in this way. Because this is the only way that this person can
understand it.
		
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			The problem is when it becomes internalized, and now that's what you use to justify your choice, or
you use to justify a practice to yourself or to your own community. Right. And then that's how
traditions are lost. We don't even remember
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:04
			are what are the kind of indigenous native organic
		
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			criteria upon which we are judging things?
		
00:35:10 --> 00:35:30
			It's kind of like a Trojan horse. It's been smuggled in and we internalize it. And then it's, it
becomes, it becomes the default. Regretfully. So that's the only thing is that, yes, sure. Engage in
those other sorts of, you know, lot with other types of logic, but realize be intentional about it
and realize that that's what you're doing.
		
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			That, no, I agree completely.
		
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			What I find is, as I get older, it's easier, not internalizing what they're arguing. Because first
and foremost, you're wearing hijab, not for anybody, except for Allah. That's number one. So you
realize that, but in order to, for people to understand, like, I was given the example of Indonesia,
why did Indonesia become the biggest Muslim community? Because they work with whatever was there
already, and infuse Islam in it? They didn't say, No, you're wrong. This is not the way this is only
this, you have to wear, like, you know, black clothing. And this is how Islam is. Right? No. So they
infused it. And therefore Indonesia became the biggest, you know, Muslim country. So same thing,
		
00:36:19 --> 00:37:00
			using the same my body more choice. Okay, fine. So, use that logic for people who understand only
that part at the time, and then bring it to okay, this is actually I'm doing this only for Allah,
not for anybody else. But I'm trying to explain to you what this is. Yeah. No, that's, that's true.
And I definitely, obviously, Indonesia is, is one of the great examples of successful data and
prophetic data, right, that we have historically. But the concern, the concern that everyone has to
be careful of, is what happens when you start to be held to account according to new criteria, if
the ground shifts underneath you, if somebody internalizes, right, my body my choice or that
		
00:37:00 --> 00:37:41
			something has to be chosen. Right, something has to be a free choice. Right? Then, does that have
consequences with that person's relationship with their father, their mother, their parents? Right?
What if they asked that person's like, well, you don't do whatever you choose? Well, isn't this an
imposition, this isn't something that you chose? Right? You know, your parents expect you to pray to
pray. You're not choosing to pray. Right. So that's the only that's the concern. The concern is that
it's not done in a self conscious process, it becomes internalized. And that it it, we get beaten up
with the same criteria that we're using to explain to other people. Because there is an
		
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			inconsistency. Yeah, I help people understand if when we say that, you know, my body, my choice,
right? What's that used for? Yeah, people use that to justify abortion, right. That's just what it
is right now. Like my body, my choice means that the fetus inside of my womb, belongs to me. And I
can terminate it when I want to. That sort of means in our political culture, even if we want to
play like a little sneaky game, and kind of like say, Yeah, okay, well, we have this kind of, you
know, we have something similar, I'm making a choice and that cetera, and you know, no one forced me
to wear hijab, and I chose to wear hijab, that's all good.
		
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			But if someone is, is less than intentional about it, and that becomes now the criteria, that their
criteria is not what's pleasing Allah, but it's what I'm choosing to do. All of a sudden, we're
going to end up in a lot of trouble. Because we don't get to choose everything that we do as
muslims, you know. So that's, that's the game, the game is to, is to talk to people and engage
people upon Yeah, common ground common language that they understand. But to not get bitten by the
disease. It's like you're a doctor, and you're treating someone who's diseased, you know, the game
is don't get sick. Right?
		
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			You can move in that space and address things, you know, and explain things and put it in different
ways. And I, you know, I spend a lot of time doing that, you know, but you have to be really careful
to not let it become the criteria that you start evaluating yourself, your community, your tradition
by, that's when the ground shifts under your feet. That's when kids look back to their religion. And
they're like, well, dang, it's like, I thought everything was about freedom and choice and
expression of my will, and the, you know, following my heart and all these sorts of things. Now, I
look at my life, and my parents are trying to tell me who I should marry. Are you kidding me? No
		
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			way. That's not following my heart. That's not what they do in the Disney movies, right? I should be
able to fall in love with who love is love. That's the other slogan of today. Right? I should be
able to love whoever I want.
		
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			Right? Like so. You know, it's really tricky. It's really tricky. Like when we engage with these
sorts of things. You know, we have to we have to just stay awake. We have to be really, really in
		
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			tensional
		
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			the terms were you YOLO? Yeah, exactly. You only live once. Yeah, there's a there's a ton of them,
right? These sorts of slogans that smuggle into our communities, ideas and principles and criteria
that are foreign to our tradition, and actually actively undermine our tradition. Right? If you have
a Muslim person who is a great practicing Muslim, but they think that they're doing everything
because they chose it. That's very shaky ground. That's very shaky ground. What if tomorrow, they
choose to not do any of it, they choose to not pray, they choose to marry somebody from outside of
the faith, they choose to consume alcohol and gambling, whatever. So choice. We've been preaching
		
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			choice the whole time, haven't we? Right? So that's, that's the only concern is that we just have to
be really careful.
		
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			That's also why like, you know, there should be a fairly strict like, separation between spheres,
right? Like if I'm going into a Dallas situation, right? Where I know that I'm going to be talking
to people that are coming from this sort of whatever perspective, and I'm going to be engaging with
people on that perspective, I'm not going to bring my kids with me. I'm not going to bring people
from the masjid with me. Right? Because I'm afraid that they're going to take the arguments that I'm
using to justify it to them to relate to them. And imagine that that is our tradition, which is not.
		
00:41:25 --> 00:41:31
			Right. So there's has to be something of a separation of spaces, you know, and allows refugees, so
		
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			that's a really nice conversation. We could talk about these sorts of things all night. And that
takes us to the end of our time. So I guess we'll stop there.
		
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			Does anybody have any other questions? We can keep talking about this if you want no problem.
		
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			Meanwhile, you provided all of the interesting things.
		
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			That's the kind of engagement we're looking for. Right? You know, we're all parents, we all have
kids.
		
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			You know, the kids are.
		
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			Most of them are going to public school. Right? They, most of them watch media. We can't be hermits.
Okay, that doesn't work. But we also can't turn them over to the wolves, you know, and let them have
their way with them. So we have to be very, very, very careful about how we introduce things to our
children, how we talk about the faith to our children, the kind of ideas and the kind of principles
that we instill in our children. And this is the real work of community talking about these sorts of
things. So thank you very much for being a part of that conversation. And we hope that this sort of
conversation continues.
		
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			If there's nothing else, then we'll break and I will see you all next time in sha Allah Tala.
		
00:43:04 --> 00:43:05
			Thank you very much.
		
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			So I'm going to come off the back