Tom Facchine – Riyadh al-Saliheen and Women’s Q&A #17
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses various issues related to Islam and marriage, including disagreements and disagreements, disagreements related to marriage, and issues related to marriage and the book of marriage radical Allah to Allah. There are disagreements that are stronger than others, but they will get into these sorts of issues next time. The next class will include class one or two before moving on to other issues. There are disagreements that are stronger than others, but they will get into these sorts of issues next time. The next class will include class one or two before moving on to other issues. There are disagreements that are stronger than others, but they will get into these sorts of issues next time. The next class will include class one or two before moving on to other issues. There are disagreements that are stronger than others, but they will get into these sorts of issues next time. The next class will include class one or two before moving on to other issues. There are disagreements that are stronger than others
AI: Summary ©
Bismillah
Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen
wa salatu salam ala Ashraf and we added one more saline Nabina Muhammad Ali he offered
to sneak
along Island that'd be million foreigner 1000 That'd be about I lantana was even a elmen Yeah, but I mean
is Thursday night. So this is the women's class three of us on again. And now we're into we've covered a fair bit of ground in the fuckup marriage. So we will be continuing with that tonight in sha Allah. First up.
We have the third Hadith in the second chapter of the onslaught here.
And let's share screen so we have it up here
so the first chapter was the chapter of last sincerity. And the second chapter that we're in is a chapter of Toba of repentance.
The hadith for tonight is the 15th Hadith of the entire book, the third hadith of this chapter,
I will hands a
signal Malakal. Ansaldi, on the other hand, hold the servant of the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi salam
said, Allah subhanho wa Taala is happier
about the repentance of one of his slaves, than one of you would be about finding your camel, which had strayed away from you in the middle of the desert. This is more difficult it means it's a halal quality or Sahih Muslim.
In the wording that's exclusively in Sahih Muslim,
we have something
pretty much the same, just slightly different. Allah has greater joy at the repentance of one of his slaves. When he turns towards him, than one of you would have over his mount which having escaped from him with his food and drink in the middle of the desert, so that he has despaired of finding it and gone to a tree to lie down in its shade, suddenly appears standing by him while he is in that state. So that he takes its reins and then says out of the intensity of his joy. Oh Allah, you are my slave. And I am your Lord getting confused because of his intense enjoy.
So we see when we gather
all of the narrations of a particular Hadith, we get a more full picture, we get some more details that we don't have in the first one. So on the first one, okay, you get the imagery of a person who's in the desert and their camel has strayed away from them. Okay, look at the wording of Muslim. We have not just a camel but any sort of mount to the person's transportation. Having escaped basically having made off with his food and drink, right, the camel carries everything for a person,
their food, their drink them shelter everything
in the middle of the desert, so that he has despaired of finding it. So he is
totally in a precarious, vulnerable situation. He has no hope of survival. travelled through the desert is something that's extremely grueling and treacherous. As the inhabitants of the hijas Mecca and Medina knew everybody in the Arabian Peninsula and those surrounding areas knew
your camel especially, was your lifeline. And if you were separated from your camel, then it could very well be death, a matter of life and death. So we have a more full image here. This person's camel has not just run away, so he's transportation has gone he's left in the food but the camel is also made off with all of his supplies. He's by himself. He's in the desert. There's absolutely no hope he's despaired of finding that camel. And so he's gone down to lie in the shade of a tree
when just when he's given up hope
hope of finding that camel suddenly what should appear standing next to him
his camel with all of the supplies and so he takes the reins and he's so intensely happy that he can't even speak straight. He mixes up something so fundamental as the proper relationship between him and his, his Lord Allah by calling Allah His slave and he Allah's Lord.
Of course, this is an honest mistake.
We learned from this hadith, several important lessons. The first of which
is a law's goodwill toss.
A law is above
he is the incessant and intense and complete DOER of good
and he wants good for His creation. He wants every single one of his creatures to be in Paradise.
Allah is not out to get you. Allah is not like the figure of the
maybe the religious teacher or the Catholic nun or the moolah
who's watching your every move waiting for you to slip up so he can kind of clap you on the ear
whacked you with a stick.
Allah once your success, Allah once your salvation, Allah once your eternal bliss, and tranquillity.
And we can tell
about his goodwill and care for us, because of how delighted he is that we would turn back to him in repentance.
Allah tries to give us a metaphor that will understand.
And that is losing something that is so precious
to you.
And then the crushing nature of the feelings of having it taken away, despairing over it's being gone, and then how happy you are when it should suddenly miraculously appear. Of course, Allah has foreknowledge so that no analogy is 100% Perfect. But even though Allah knows who's going to turn back to him, and who isn't,
he is still more delighted that you would turn back to him than a human being who doesn't know whether that camel is going to make its way back to him or not.
That's even more impressive
that ALLAH knows and yet is still more delighted. If we knew that the camera was coming back to us, we would not be
as delighted as we would if it were a surprise.
But Allah cherish cherish cherishes us more than we cherish that camel on that situation. And so he's even more delighted
than that. And that's even more impressive, because he already knew it was going to happen in the first place.
Another
way in which the analogy falls just a little bit short, is that part of our intensity
of happiness in this situation, is because of our need,
what's going to happen happen if the camel does not return to us. We're going to die in the desert with no one to help us no provisions, no supplies, we are
done for.
Allah is not like that, of course. When any one of us turns away and dedicates themselves loses themselves in a life of sin and heedlessness, it doesn't affect Allah whatsoever. He's funny. He's self sufficient. He is rich and wealthy beyond being hurt by anything that you or I or anybody else does.
So just like the issue of knowledge, this is even more impressive.
Part of our intense joy is because we're so much in need. Allah has no such need and yet he's more delighted than we would be.
All of this points to Allah's pure goodwill and sincerity to us, his fidelity and he wants and his wanting the absolute best for us.
Another thing that this hadith tells us is that for a Muslim
For a Muslim,
to commit Kofa,
blasphemy.
There has to be an intention, the media that accompanies that
phrase or action.
How do we learn this because of the words that he says, he says, Oh, you are my slave and I am your Lord.
That sounds like something that I would say.
And said I would mean it.
Which would make it blasphemy coffee
for a Muslim has taken his shahada, La ilaha illAllah. He's making his prayers five times a day. He's saying, Allah in the law, submitting himself in Word and indeed, and so to take him and break that covenant that he has and he testifies to five times a day or more.
It takes an act of intention. It can't just happen by accident.
Even by saying such a thing.
When obviously he didn't mean it's, it's not an act of blasphemy. It's not an act of apostasy.
It cannot be done without an intention.
This is what Imam and Toby said in his Tafseer of sort of rot.
When Allah subhanaw taala he says
what's the
Yeah, yo, hello Lena Amarula Tsavo elsewhere to come help us out in the V 100 Allah who will only care Jaffe come care Jaffrey boundary company Bowden, tak Belpre out my local mall Anton natural
last panel to Allah he says
Do not raise your voices. Are you people of faith when you're around the prophets of Allah Hatha he was salam. And don't be put yourself forth with him.
In your speech, like you do among others. Don't treat him just like anybody else and be loud with him or be too blunt with him.
Lest if you do this a loss I was out on top of out manucho.
If you do this, then it would render your deeds nothing.
Well, Angela,
Tasha room and you while you don't know it, while you don't even realize it emammal photo V Rahim Allah he says in his tafsir that there is image map
that I'm not Muslim, cannot become a Catholic, except if he knows it, except by knowing it.
And that this idea does not mean that just one slip of the tongue one mistake
can take you out of the fold of Islam just like that. No. It takes a an act of intention.
This hadith also proves to us the permissibility of quoting
blasphemy or unsavory things, if it's for an educative purpose.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said these words Oh Allah, you are my slave and I am your Lord.
Again, intention, what was his intention His intention was to teach.
His intention was to relate a true story. This is actually what happened.
And every single narrator of this hadith all the way down the line from an a cinematic on to even a Muslim in the hobby. They didn't change the words.
They narrated it exactly as it was.
Because the intention is to educate it's not to make a statement.
If we're thinking about modern applications of this principle, then perhaps one could demonstrate
the permissibility of acting, even in a role
that has,
let's say some unsavory lines, if the point of that performance is to educate that this is the wrong way.
This is something that the scholars differed over issues of acting and to what extent are we allowed to embody or impersonate or perform evil characters? But if you can tell from this hadith one of the lessons of this hadith and Allah knows best is that it is permissible to quote impermissible statements.
or reenact them for an educative purpose. And the last mile to Allah knows best.
So Allah loves that you come back to him. That's the main point of this hadith. And if that's what Allah loves them, the devil wants the opposite. The devil wants to try to persuade you
that you are too far gone, that your mistake is too embarrassing to admit. It's too revealing about your true nature. This is who you really are.
And that you might as well just give up anyway.
Or the devil wants to convince you that Allah is just out to get you.
Like our contemporary culture kind of portrays God as this kind of man in the sky. Almost like a Zeus like figure.
Thunderbolt at the ready, ready to strike down? Whoever violates His commands.
This is not our conception of a last final Tada.
Allah has restraints, more restraints than the entire creation put together.
I believe it's a Hadith of the Prophet SAW by Saddam. And if it's not, then as a statement I'd love to let him know.
Know it is a Hadith of the Prophet saw his setup, where he said that Allah is the most patients in the face of insult and offense. Don't you see how the Christians say that he has taken a son and he continues to bless them with livelihoods and children.
A lot is not withhold these blessings from different categories of people, even to the extent that they go
with blasphemous statements and ideas against the last five to Allah He describes in the Koran as the earth and the sky almost being torn apart, because of the enormity
and vileness of what they say about Allah subhanaw taala. Still a lot of does not prevent them from having children from having livelihoods from having fond memories, from enjoying the good things in life.
So Allah is not out to get anyone he is the opposite. He's the most patient in the face of offense, and insult. And he is delighted more delighted than anything that we can know in this dunya when one of his creatures turns back to him in repentance and decides to live a life of righteousness.
Moving on in sha Allah,
that's half the class. So
turning now over to where we reached in kita, when the cat
a book of marriage, we covered a lot.
Oh, that's a very that's a very good question. Sister. Samira, thank you very much for asking that. The question is,
we see blasphemy
across the Muslim world or across the world period.
How should Muslims respond to intentional blasphemy
things like this. And along those best, of course,
have to be dealt with on a case by case basis.
Because
when it comes to from place to place from time to time that Muslims are going to find themselves in different situations. Are we talking about a country where the Muslims have some power within the government of the society? Are we talking about a place where the Muslims are a minority? Are we talking about a place where the dominant society is extremely hostile towards Muslims? This is an issue of CSR. It's a political issue. And any political issue is going to have to deal with a calculus of weighing than the facet one Masada right, what are the benefits? And what are the detriments or what are the negative consequences of a particular plan of action? And so the Muslims
in a particular place have to weigh that carefully.
There might be situations where activism and agitation
is called for. There might be situations where it's simply better to kind of show and not tell
and demonstrate a superior
attitude.
I can think of two spots in the Quran that directly evidences this latter approach. One of them is sorts of an ion or last pons, Allah prohibits the believers from cursing
the idols that are worshipped besides or instead of Allah.
Why? Why does the law say it so that they don't curse a lot out of ignorance and retaliation?
Right? So we have this said the the idea, right, blocking the means is a principle and, and also a legal theory. So we have to consider what are we going to be the consequences, the consequences of this action?
If we respond in a certain way? Is it going to drag us down to the level of our attackers? Or is it going to challenge them to make good on supposedly the principles that they believe in?
Is it going to give honor to the Muslims? Or is it going to take away on are from the Muslims? Right? These are all questions that come into weighing these sorts of situations. And so you see, it can get very tricky.
If that was the first part in the Quran, the second part was, if somebody says something to you,
return it with that which is better, or if an ignorant person A costs you with their language, then return it with saliva. Right? This is a general principle.
However, from the Sunnah, there were times when the prophets of Allah Allah, he was
responded with other than that there was the kind of stuff I believe the name of one of the poets who was writing incendiary poetry against the Prophet saw the setup. That was a different sort of situation. Right? So you see how many things within the Muslim ummah, it depended on what their situation was, weather, specifically their political situation, what they were able to do and what they weren't able to do, and a lot of asbestos.
I'll say that this,
much of the blasphemy that we deal with on an intimate everyday basis comes from our family and acquaintances. Without even realizing that it's blasphemy, right? To take positions, such as, for example, that
as far as UK law is outdated, the city
was made for those times before, and it's not suitable for these times, that it oppresses women, these sorts of things, these things are statements of blasphemy, even if they don't have the intention behind them. And so, as Muslims, we need to be attuned to these things, and try to respond and satisfy these doubts.
Most of the time, when someone comes with these sorts of doubts, they're coming from a place of legitimate need.
Usually, they're coming from a place of genuineness.
There are some examples where people are not where they're being disingenuous. You see this a lot of like, ex Muslims that are very popular on YouTube and things like that social media. But if someone's coming from a place of genuineness, they have genuine doubts and concerns, genuine kind of upsetness that this person needs to be dealt with gently. I promise. I said, I've said best you. What are twin efeito? Yes, you know that. So I say to
give good, good tidings glad tidings and don't chase people away.
Right, we don't change the religion for anybody. But it's upon us to
hold on believer, as the law says, I think it's sort of a nice app to
give a convincing account of the Islamic worldview, and the kind of worldview of the city
and how not only does it rival what we have today in secular countries, but it actually surpasses and is superior to these systems. Right. This is kind of the project that we're involved in today.
So moving on to marriage, we have covered the main pillars of marriage, a marriage contract, such as the dowry, such as guardianship, and we die and such as testimony bearing witness to the to the contract, and we went into lots of fun issues dealing with each of them. Now we're changing gears a little bit. We are going into
Why don't you? So what are the sorts of things that can prevent a marriage from going forth? In the first place? One of the main concerns of this section has to do with who can you marry in the first place? And who can't you. And as usual, when we talk about dealing with a fifth issue, we want to start with the things that the scholars agreed upon. They have consensus. That way we shape our understanding of what is normative Islam? What are the things that we can debate about? And accept a difference of opinion? And what are the things that we can't compromise on? That we have to kind of put our foot down and say, No, this is kind of what we have to do.
So some of the relevant points of consensus among the Scholars, this is all according to him. unrushed Rahim Allah, the famous Maliki jurist of Andalusia, who wrote the book, which is on which to which we learned in, in Saudi Arabia and the Islamic University of Medina.
So
when it comes to what are the limitations
on who can marry whom?
I guess I'll say something a little bit from the philosophy where we're coming from first.
I've been in discussions with some people
about the wisdom
behind the Islamic rules and guidelines for marriage. And we talked a lot about those in the in the previous chapter, what's the wisdom behind the institution of guardianship? What's the wisdom behind the institution of dowry, and bearing witness and announcing the marriage and everything like that?
Right? So what we're shifting to now is, what are the limits of valid marriage, who can validly get married, and not, and SubhanAllah. In the time and place that we live in, we are filled with many kinds of slogans and platitudes. Statements that
sound good, but that carry dangerous ideas, or at least if taken to their logical conclusion would prove
on admissible or inadmissible to anybody. So for example, one of the staple platitudes of our time is that love is love. Love is love.
Now, put on this, in this kind of super general sense.
It sounds very good, right? Love is kind of pitched as this internal essential element of who you are sacred, and it can't be questioned. You can't control who you love, whether it's someone from the same * or different * or whether it's
what have you. Right. And therefore, it's only a matter of expressing what is essentially you
to act on this desire.
And therefore, anybody who's attempting to regulate that desire, change that desire tell you that you shouldn't be doing this
is really forcing you to be phony forcing you to be fake, not letting you be who you are, which is pretty much the highest crime in our society right now, at least culturally. Not letting someone else be who they truly are. Man does. She Shikata Hakim Murad said recently, no matter how much that
being who you are, is determined or influenced by society and media and movies and music, nobody looks at that. Everybody takes it for granted that who they love is actually an expression of their own personal individual will. And not actually the result of
deliberate corporate campaigns and advertising, and representations in TV shows and movies and music and things like that. That's a separate issue. But really, what's going on here? Is that let's say for example, you took the slogan at face value, love is love. If you held the society to that standard, are we really, really following that that slogan? The answer is clearly no. This society puts limits on who is allowed to love or we should say express their love to home. You are not allowed to express your love or act on your love to your sister or your brother, your siblings. You are not allowed to express or act on your love towards your parents. If it's a romantic, intimate
love we're talking about right nor are you allowed to express your romantic love towards somebody who is underage. Nor are you allowed to express your romantic love to
someone who something that is not a human being
Write these things. So we have to the idea that love is love is a Trojan horse. Okay? It's a statement that sounds good. But if you push it and you tried to hold the society to that principle, it clearly and quickly falls apart. nobody actually believes that there are very, very few people want to do away with every single rule and regulation for the expression of romantic love and sexuality. So why is pointing out all of this important? It's important to shift the terrain, when you're in a conversation with somebody from this society doesn't regulate love, or expressions of love, whereas Islamic law does, right? Because that's not accurate. What's accurate is that every
single society regulates the expressions of love, romantic expressions, sexual expression, every single society does it. If every single society does it, then the conversation shifts to upon what grounds? Do we regulate it? And not simply the rhetorical question of should it be regulated or not? So Islamic law is no different from any other law in the history of humankind. It regulates sexuality, it regulates expressions of romantic love, upon what grounds? Does it regulate these expressions of upon what principles or criteria? Do our marriages allowed to occur or not allowed to occur? there is consensus from the scholars, that there are three reasons that prevent people from
marrying other people
that
upon which we regulate or prohibit
the possibility of marriage. One of them is nessa
So,
blood relationship, we'll go into details in a second, the second Asad is by marriage. Okay, so certain inlaw relationships. Okay. And the third is a lot, which is breastfeeding, nursing. Okay.
These are the three categories. Each of those categories has different examples under them, subordinated within them. So when we go to the first category, nessa what are the the blood relatives that we're not allowed to marry, it's the seventh that are mentioned in the Koran,
daughters, sisters, paternal or maternal aunts, nieces.
And their opposite. So that's all given in terms of if you are a man looking to a woman, and if you're a woman looking to marry a man, then it's just simply the opposite. You know, what the father or son or brother or paternal maternal uncle, or nephews from either side
just like that. So now moving on to the Second Court, the second category, which is through the relationship of being in law, the scholars have
consensus that it is not permissible to marry
the fathers or grandfathers,
mothers or fathers of your spouse.
Okay.
Similarly, their children, we're talking about stepchildren in this sense, and we're going to get into exactly how that goes when we get into the differences of opinion.
The scholars have also have consensus moving to the third category, that nursing an infant who will talk about the conditions, but it in and of itself, nursing,
does the same thing as blood. So nursing and blood are the same in the categories of people that they prohibit marriage from.
So when you nurse from a woman,
that woman
is as good as your mother.
When it comes to marriage, or potential marriage and everything everybody else who is attached to that family tree, okay.
Which is why you have a sibling for example, through breastfeeding. So you're breastfed by a woman. And another man is breastfed by the same woman. You two are brother and sister through breastfeeding and so it's not permissible to marry. He is just as good as your brother
The scholars have consensus upon the specific type of breastfeeding.
Where this action occurs, this action of prohibition, and they differ as to
the type of breastfeeding that falls out of this category, we're gonna get into a really good issue when we get there. Is it permissible to breastfeed a child past two years, this is a very common misconception
that a lot of people have. So the what the scholars agreed about is that the type of breastfeeding that renders a person just as good as a blood relative happens within the first two years.
Okay, they differ as to outside of those two years. There's also a slight difference of opinion as to what if the child Wiens before two years
and then is breastfed by a woman after the period of weaning? We'll get there. But just know that what the the situation which the scholars agreed is that if a child breastfeeds from a woman within the first two years of its life, then that counts as the type of breastfeeding that would render that child
or I should say, the nursing woman, a mother to that child, in terms of marriage.
And they also agreed that it doesn't matter whether the breastfeeding woman is married or unmarried, is pregnant, or unpregnant, whether she's old, whether she's past the point of having children, it doesn't matter.
Any woman of any sort of imagination type you can think of that is breastfeeding within this period. This is what we're talking about something that stands in just as good as a blood relative.
Similarly, the scholars have consensus that it is not permissible for a man to marry two sisters.
At the same time.
Similarly, the scholars have consensus that it is not permissible to marry a woman and either her paternal or maternal aunts, at the same time.
Whereas before a contract with any of them, each of them would be considered marriageable.
However, marriage to one inherently means not marrying the other because it's impermissible to be married to both at the same time.
It is agreed upon the scholars have consensus that is not permissible for a man, a Muslim man to marry an idolatrous a woman who worships idols
and similarly, there's consensus that a man is permitted to marry
a woman from the people of the book.
So similarly, the scholars have consensus that
it is not permissible to marry a woman during her waiting period, we will talk about waiting period after someone is either their husband passes away or they are divorced or their marriage contract is nullified.
Or annulled we should say that's that's the better word adult, there is a certain waiting period, depending on the woman where she has to wait before she can remarry. And to marry such a woman during her waiting period is not permissible by consensus.
The scholars and this is the last point of consensus and I guess we'll end here because we're out of time. Scholars agreed that if there is a married couple
who are not Muslims,
and they both accept Islam at the same time,
then their marriage contract is upheld and they're still husband and wife.
Absolutely no difference from before. They do not need to remarry.
We'll get to later they differed in the case that one should accept the stand before the other. But we'll get to all of those issues. So you can tell through through implicitly all of the issues that are not explicitly a point of consensus our point
itself, disagreement between the scholars some of those disagreements are stronger than others. So we'll get into these sorts of issues next time inshallah either the next one or two classes before moving on to other issues within the book of marriage radical Allah to Allah.
Does anybody have any questions before we go?
Okay, thank you very much, everybody.
I'll see you next time in sha Allah Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah.