Tom Facchine – Minute with a Muslim #130 – Muslim Parents Need To Be Intentional

			Somebody asked how we can keep our young children away from devices like smartphones and tablets and
things like that. And they brought up that even you know, when they get into school, then sometimes
the school is giving them devices themselves for their time during class. But there's a really
important sort of mistaken reasoning that we make. Sometimes, sometimes we imagine that just because
our children are exposed to something and a little bit that that means then that we shouldn't do
anything about it. And we should just, you know, open the floodgates and let them be exposed to it
all the way. And that's not true. Because there's a big difference between somebody using a device
		

			for an hour or two in a classroom, versus somebody using it in their bedroom, somebody's having 24
hour access to it, right? personal account, a personal device, these sorts of things. So I would
push back on the idea that, you know, some people say, Well, they're gonna get exposed to it anyway,
or they're going to get exposed to it, and they're already using it in the school. So what you know,
being able to use a device in the school doesn't mean that you should be able to have it in the home
doesn't mean that you should be able to have your own proprietary one doesn't mean that you're going
to let your kid use it in their own room, right. And I think those are all sorts of different levels
		

			where we need to push back, okay, so one of the things and this goes back to the very beginning,
when I was growing up, and you know, home computers became a thing, right? We used to be where you
had one home computer that was in like a living room or some sort of office or study sort of room.
And then if you were doing anything, it was in public, it was around everybody else, anybody at any
time combusting on you and see what you're doing, right? Very, very different social dynamic than
having one to yourself able to take it into your bedroom. And a lot of parents are savvy to that and
realize that, you know, no screens in the bedroom, no screens, behind closed doors, these sorts of
		

			things. So that's a really super important thing, make the use of those devices as public and as
communal as possible, as opposed to individual and private. Also, they shouldn't really have their
own right, this kind of, you know, you can have a tablet for your whole family. You don't need to
give every kid one, especially for smartphones, especially, you know, when they're when they're
young. So these are things that you just have to set the expectation, and you need to be, you know,
firm, and maybe more importantly, you need to be willing to be unpopular. And that has to do with
being unpopular, maybe with your kid, if your kid is under bad influences and has other people are
		

			like well, so and so does it I don't care about so and so you're not so and so I want you to be
better than so and so right. Or when it comes to what society is doing. In general, we have to be if
we're going to be muslims and hold this thing down, then we have to be comfortable with being
different, right. And so so and so doing it is not an excuse. And it's not a justification. And the
last thing I would say and that kind of brings us to this is that we need to be very, very
intentional about the influences on our children and the friends that they're making. Okay, if
they're in a public school, then obviously, that's not 100% in your control, but you should be
		

			actively trying to build friendships between your child and other children and other families that
you have shared values with that comes to families in your message and your local community might be
other family members might be other neighbors, right? If you're just going to let your kid just make
friends at school, then it's probably going to turn out more difficult than if you're actually
involved, intentional about the friend matching process and you're giving your child a multitude of
different sorts of influences that are hopefully mostly on the whole good and positive.