Tom Facchine – If You Want Your Kids To Read DO THIS
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of communication and parenting in children’s behavior. They give examples of how parents and children share mixed messages and how it can affect children’s behavior. The speaker emphasizes the need for consistency and communication in early learning.
AI: Summary ©
One of the benefits from your story, and
that I hear from so many other stories
like it, is that, you know, as a
parent, right, the things that you do, your
kids pick up on.
Oh, yeah.
And honestly, it communicates your priorities much more
than the things that you say, right?
And so, SubhanAllah, like, you took me back
because I remember when my oldest son was
just a baby, well, maybe, okay, like six
months to a year.
I was studying for the GRE, right?
So, I was, like, always hitting the books,
you know, and, like, always had a book
open.
And they imitate, right?
So, it's like, he was, like, in his
little bouncy chair, right, with a book upside
down.
He can't read, but he's holding it upside
down because Papa's holding the book, right?
And SubhanAllah, like...
And he paid dividends later on because Medina,
I saw him, you know, he was...
Very studious.
He's very studious, yeah, exactly.
And all, Alhamdulillah, like, all my children, like,
are very studious and they're, you know, but
it really does set the tone and the
expectation.
This is just something we do, you know?
It's like, SubhanAllah, there was, you know, in
our community, like, I think one of the
sisters gatherings, one of the sisters, like, asked,
like, how many people have read a book
in the last year?
And, like, a lot of people can't raise
their hands because, like, so many people don't
read books anymore.
Yeah, yeah.
Right?
And then it's, like, well, how do you
expect your kids to, you know, be literate?
Exactly.
In a sense of, like, you know, like,
taqafah and culture and turah and, like, this
sort of thing.
You do it.
You got to read, man.
Like, you got, you have to do it.
Exactly.
A lot of times they might want to
drop their kid off to some program or
the masjid or bring in an outside speaker
and a heart softener and a motivation.
It's got to start with you.
Absolutely, absolutely.
And, you know, it comes full circle.
SubhanAllah, you mentioned that, you know, the impression
that your parents leave on you when you're
a young kid, it really comes back to
you later on.
Right?
And I always give this example to sometimes,
you know, I'm teaching at a high school
and parents, when they ask me, we have
this conversation and they're like, you know, my
kids, they love you, you know, and they,
can you talk to him about this or
that?
Right?
That's always, that's where it's headed.
You know, you know already where the conversation
is going to go.
And I always tell them, you know, subhanAllah,
what you do matters far more than what
I can tell them.
That's very important for them.
I tell them, listen, if I give them
a certain message in class that, look, X,
Y and Z is important for you, but
they go back home and they see their
parents either don't do that or do the
opposite of that.
You know what message they're actually getting?
Oh, whatever the teacher's telling may be important,
but it cannot be that important.
Had it been that important, my parents would
have done it.
Right?
And that's mixed messaging right there immediately.
So that's when students come out of Islamic
school and then you see them on Facebook
post and you're like, you know, you make
dua for them, oh Allah, hopefully they're still
Muslim.
Why does that happen?
Is because, in my estimation, is that we're
getting mixed messages and we can't do that.
You have to be consistent, right?
You got to play the long game.
Instill the idea that you want them to
hold on to early on and show them
in your life that I've been consistent on
this idea and they'll follow.
Yeah.