Tom Facchine – Atomic Habits- Why Most Quit Early

Tom Facchine
Share Page

AI: Summary ©

The speakers discuss the benefits of "Thearning Habits" by James Clear, emphasizing the importance of achieving instant receipt of change and avoiding negative behavior. They stress the need to continuously improve and not quit habits. The speakers also mention the " valley of Annual potential" associated with success and emphasize the importance of setting goals and learning a language. The speakers emphasize the importance of systems and habits in achieving long-term progress and emphasize the importance of setting goals as a key to achieving success.

AI: Summary ©

00:00:00 --> 00:00:02
			What is one habit that you want to
		
00:00:02 --> 00:00:06
			start and one habit that you want to
		
00:00:06 --> 00:00:06
			stop?
		
00:00:07 --> 00:00:08
			Let's think about it right now.
		
00:00:08 --> 00:00:10
			We are starting a new book, Atomic Habits
		
00:00:10 --> 00:00:12
			by James Clear, and we're selecting the book
		
00:00:12 --> 00:00:15
			because I think that it's particularly useful for
		
00:00:15 --> 00:00:18
			Muslims, and I think that it particularly gives
		
00:00:18 --> 00:00:20
			voice to many things that are already in
		
00:00:20 --> 00:00:23
			Islam, that are already Islamic values.
		
00:00:23 --> 00:00:26
			And from the things that aren't strictly Islamic
		
00:00:26 --> 00:00:29
			values, many of them are maslaha mursala.
		
00:00:29 --> 00:00:31
			These things are, it's not issue of haram
		
00:00:31 --> 00:00:31
			and halal.
		
00:00:31 --> 00:00:34
			It's just about benefiting from certain techniques.
		
00:00:34 --> 00:00:37
			So chapter one, he gives an illustration of
		
00:00:37 --> 00:00:39
			a melting ice cube.
		
00:00:39 --> 00:00:40
			Think about it.
		
00:00:40 --> 00:00:41
			Think about it.
		
00:00:41 --> 00:00:43
			Picture in your head a melting ice cube.
		
00:00:43 --> 00:00:44
			Okay.
		
00:00:44 --> 00:00:46
			Now, what is he saying about the melting
		
00:00:46 --> 00:00:46
			ice cube?
		
00:00:46 --> 00:00:48
			He says that imagine that we have an
		
00:00:48 --> 00:00:51
			ice cube on our table here, and it
		
00:00:51 --> 00:00:53
			is 29 degrees Fahrenheit.
		
00:00:54 --> 00:00:55
			The ice cube is not melting yet.
		
00:00:55 --> 00:00:56
			Okay.
		
00:00:56 --> 00:00:58
			You turn the heat up one degree.
		
00:00:59 --> 00:01:01
			So in Fahrenheit, it's now 30.
		
00:01:01 --> 00:01:05
			In Celsius or centigrade, it's now negative two
		
00:01:05 --> 00:01:06
			instead of negative three.
		
00:01:06 --> 00:01:08
			The ice still isn't melting.
		
00:01:09 --> 00:01:09
			All right.
		
00:01:09 --> 00:01:10
			We're going to turn the heat up another
		
00:01:10 --> 00:01:11
			degree.
		
00:01:11 --> 00:01:14
			Now it's 31 degrees Fahrenheit, or now it's
		
00:01:14 --> 00:01:17
			negative one degree centigrade or Celsius.
		
00:01:17 --> 00:01:19
			The ice still isn't melting.
		
00:01:21 --> 00:01:23
			This is not the time that we should
		
00:01:23 --> 00:01:24
			quit trying to melt the ice.
		
00:01:26 --> 00:01:30
			But this is where most people stop and
		
00:01:30 --> 00:01:31
			quit their habits.
		
00:01:31 --> 00:01:33
			That they don't see the ice melting.
		
00:01:34 --> 00:01:38
			And therefore they assume that all their work
		
00:01:38 --> 00:01:38
			is for nothing.
		
00:01:38 --> 00:01:41
			And then they drop off their habit.
		
00:01:41 --> 00:01:44
			But in reality, if you were to keep
		
00:01:44 --> 00:01:48
			going just one degree more to 32 degrees
		
00:01:48 --> 00:01:51
			Fahrenheit or zero degrees Celsius, then the ice
		
00:01:51 --> 00:01:52
			would start melting.
		
00:01:52 --> 00:01:57
			So just because you don't see results doesn't
		
00:01:57 --> 00:02:00
			mean that you're not actually contributing to eventual
		
00:02:00 --> 00:02:01
			success.
		
00:02:01 --> 00:02:03
			And most people turn back because they don't
		
00:02:03 --> 00:02:06
			see success fast enough.
		
00:02:06 --> 00:02:09
			One of the lessons from this illustration is
		
00:02:09 --> 00:02:13
			the author's point about how habits work, or
		
00:02:13 --> 00:02:15
			even better, how change works.
		
00:02:16 --> 00:02:16
			Okay.
		
00:02:16 --> 00:02:17
			How does change work?
		
00:02:17 --> 00:02:19
			How does improvement works?
		
00:02:20 --> 00:02:23
			Improvement works 1% at a time.
		
00:02:24 --> 00:02:26
			Unfortunately, most of us, we think about just
		
00:02:26 --> 00:02:28
			about where we want to be, which is
		
00:02:28 --> 00:02:28
			not bad.
		
00:02:28 --> 00:02:29
			We want to set goals.
		
00:02:29 --> 00:02:30
			We want to think about where we want
		
00:02:30 --> 00:02:31
			to be after.
		
00:02:32 --> 00:02:34
			And we only think that we have to
		
00:02:34 --> 00:02:36
			put in a ton of effort all at
		
00:02:36 --> 00:02:36
			once.
		
00:02:36 --> 00:02:38
			And then we get discouraged and we quit.
		
00:02:39 --> 00:02:39
			Okay.
		
00:02:40 --> 00:02:43
			So getting truly better is not about putting
		
00:02:43 --> 00:02:45
			in a ton of effort in one day.
		
00:02:45 --> 00:02:45
			It's not.
		
00:02:45 --> 00:02:49
			It is about only getting 1% better
		
00:02:49 --> 00:02:50
			every day.
		
00:02:50 --> 00:02:52
			If you were to raise the temperature just
		
00:02:52 --> 00:02:55
			1% every hour, eventually you're going to
		
00:02:55 --> 00:02:56
			melt the ice cube.
		
00:02:57 --> 00:03:00
			If you were to improve, whether it's Quran,
		
00:03:00 --> 00:03:02
			whether it's not eating sweets, whether it's your
		
00:03:02 --> 00:03:04
			diet, whether it's exercise, whether it's emotional stuff,
		
00:03:04 --> 00:03:08
			whatever, if you were to improve just by
		
00:03:08 --> 00:03:14
			1% every day, then you would very,
		
00:03:14 --> 00:03:18
			very soon be very, very close to your
		
00:03:18 --> 00:03:18
			goals.
		
00:03:18 --> 00:03:21
			This is called the valley of latent potential.
		
00:03:21 --> 00:03:23
			So the blue, check out the blue line
		
00:03:23 --> 00:03:24
			on the graph here.
		
00:03:24 --> 00:03:26
			The blue line is how people think that
		
00:03:26 --> 00:03:27
			change works.
		
00:03:27 --> 00:03:30
			People assume that they're going to continue to
		
00:03:30 --> 00:03:32
			see progress every day.
		
00:03:33 --> 00:03:35
			And that's why they quit their habits because
		
00:03:35 --> 00:03:37
			they don't see progress every day.
		
00:03:37 --> 00:03:37
			They put in work.
		
00:03:37 --> 00:03:38
			Let's say it's the gym.
		
00:03:38 --> 00:03:39
			You want to do pushups.
		
00:03:39 --> 00:03:41
			You want to do stuff like that, right?
		
00:03:42 --> 00:03:44
			That you expect to see progress.
		
00:03:44 --> 00:03:46
			But in reality, you see the opposite.
		
00:03:47 --> 00:03:49
			What's the first day feel like after you
		
00:03:49 --> 00:03:49
			go to the gym?
		
00:03:49 --> 00:03:52
			What's the first day feel like after you
		
00:03:52 --> 00:03:54
			go for a run or after you play
		
00:03:54 --> 00:03:57
			basketball or do some exercise or you're tired,
		
00:03:57 --> 00:04:00
			you're sore, you're spent, you're exhausted, you feel
		
00:04:00 --> 00:04:01
			horrible.
		
00:04:01 --> 00:04:02
			Right.
		
00:04:02 --> 00:04:07
			And so, and so you actually dip your
		
00:04:07 --> 00:04:10
			actual progress takes a hit initially.
		
00:04:11 --> 00:04:15
			But if you continue to persist, you will
		
00:04:15 --> 00:04:18
			actually not only catch up with where you
		
00:04:18 --> 00:04:19
			thought you would be, but you would actually
		
00:04:19 --> 00:04:20
			exceed it.
		
00:04:20 --> 00:04:23
			You would actually go past what you anticipated.
		
00:04:24 --> 00:04:26
			So they call this the valley of latent
		
00:04:26 --> 00:04:27
			potential.
		
00:04:27 --> 00:04:30
			All of this is your potential is building
		
00:04:30 --> 00:04:30
			up.
		
00:04:30 --> 00:04:31
			You got to imagine that you're cocking a
		
00:04:31 --> 00:04:33
			gun or that you're pulling back a bow,
		
00:04:34 --> 00:04:36
			that everything that you do, you're putting effort,
		
00:04:36 --> 00:04:39
			effort, effort, effort, effort in, and you haven't
		
00:04:39 --> 00:04:39
			seen the results yet.
		
00:04:40 --> 00:04:41
			Now, this is where it meets up with
		
00:04:41 --> 00:04:43
			the Dean because Islam is a faith and
		
00:04:43 --> 00:04:45
			a religion that gets us to think about
		
00:04:45 --> 00:04:47
			delayed gratitude.
		
00:04:47 --> 00:04:49
			It's not about instant gratification.
		
00:04:49 --> 00:04:50
			We want instant gratification.
		
00:04:50 --> 00:04:53
			And so we expect change to happen right
		
00:04:53 --> 00:04:53
			away.
		
00:04:53 --> 00:04:54
			No, that's not the way it happens.
		
00:04:54 --> 00:04:59
			We suffer, we suffer up front, and then
		
00:04:59 --> 00:05:00
			it pays off later, both in the afterlife
		
00:05:00 --> 00:05:02
			and with our habits.
		
00:05:02 --> 00:05:03
			If you were to get 1% better
		
00:05:03 --> 00:05:04
			every day, I think, what did he say?
		
00:05:04 --> 00:05:07
			You like 37% better after a very
		
00:05:07 --> 00:05:08
			short amount of time, it grows exponentially.
		
00:05:09 --> 00:05:11
			Whereas if you were to go 1%
		
00:05:11 --> 00:05:13
			worse every day, you would very quickly be
		
00:05:13 --> 00:05:15
			close to zero.
		
00:05:15 --> 00:05:19
			Our second point is that if you want
		
00:05:19 --> 00:05:23
			better results, then you should forget about your
		
00:05:23 --> 00:05:23
			goals.
		
00:05:24 --> 00:05:25
			And I love this.
		
00:05:25 --> 00:05:27
			Forget about your goals if you want to
		
00:05:27 --> 00:05:28
			make real progress and you want to build
		
00:05:28 --> 00:05:29
			habits.
		
00:05:29 --> 00:05:32
			Now, this was shocking to me because I'm
		
00:05:32 --> 00:05:32
			like you.
		
00:05:32 --> 00:05:34
			I'm used to thinking about, oh, the first
		
00:05:34 --> 00:05:35
			thing I want to do is I want
		
00:05:35 --> 00:05:36
			to sit down and write out what are
		
00:05:36 --> 00:05:37
			my goals.
		
00:05:37 --> 00:05:38
			I want to memorize 10 juz.
		
00:05:38 --> 00:05:41
			I want to read 17 books.
		
00:05:41 --> 00:05:43
			I want to learn this language, right?
		
00:05:43 --> 00:05:45
			That's what we're taught when it comes to
		
00:05:45 --> 00:05:47
			improvement, the first set goals.
		
00:05:48 --> 00:05:51
			But the author zigs while everybody else zags.
		
00:05:51 --> 00:05:53
			He says, if you really want better results,
		
00:05:53 --> 00:05:55
			then forget about setting goals.
		
00:05:56 --> 00:05:59
			Focus instead on your systems, on your systems.
		
00:05:59 --> 00:06:02
			He says, it's the systems that produce results,
		
00:06:03 --> 00:06:03
			not your goals.
		
00:06:03 --> 00:06:07
			Your goals do not produce results right in
		
00:06:07 --> 00:06:07
			and of themselves.
		
00:06:07 --> 00:06:09
			So he brings up four points to justify
		
00:06:09 --> 00:06:10
			this point.
		
00:06:10 --> 00:06:12
			Number one, he said, winners and losers have
		
00:06:12 --> 00:06:14
			the same goals, right?
		
00:06:14 --> 00:06:16
			You've never, you go to a loser and
		
00:06:16 --> 00:06:18
			to somebody say, well, you know, uh, you
		
00:06:18 --> 00:06:20
			know, I guess I never made any goals.
		
00:06:20 --> 00:06:21
			You go up to an Olympic runner and
		
00:06:21 --> 00:06:22
			they run the race and the guy that
		
00:06:22 --> 00:06:23
			came in last place, you go up to
		
00:06:23 --> 00:06:25
			the guy in last place, you say, what
		
00:06:25 --> 00:06:25
			was the difference?
		
00:06:25 --> 00:06:27
			Like, you know, he's never going to say,
		
00:06:27 --> 00:06:28
			well, I didn't make any goals.
		
00:06:28 --> 00:06:29
			No, he had the same goals as the
		
00:06:29 --> 00:06:30
			guy who finished number one.
		
00:06:30 --> 00:06:32
			And yet those goals didn't actually produce the
		
00:06:32 --> 00:06:33
			results that he wanted.
		
00:06:33 --> 00:06:35
			So it's not necessarily about goals.
		
00:06:35 --> 00:06:37
			Winners and losers have the same goals.
		
00:06:37 --> 00:06:40
			Number two, he says, even if you achieve
		
00:06:40 --> 00:06:42
			a goal, it's just a momentary change.
		
00:06:42 --> 00:06:45
			It doesn't encapsulate what we're after, which is
		
00:06:45 --> 00:06:47
			really becoming a different person.
		
00:06:47 --> 00:06:48
			And he's going to talk about more in
		
00:06:48 --> 00:06:49
			that in the chapter on identity.
		
00:06:49 --> 00:06:51
			The third reason he says is that goals
		
00:06:51 --> 00:06:53
			actually restrict happiness.
		
00:06:53 --> 00:06:56
			That when you set your goal, you actually
		
00:06:56 --> 00:06:57
			also set your ceiling.
		
00:06:57 --> 00:06:59
			This is something that Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
		
00:06:59 --> 00:07:00
			actually indicated.
		
00:07:00 --> 00:07:02
			He heard a man or overheard a man
		
00:07:02 --> 00:07:05
			making dua to Allah to give him just
		
00:07:05 --> 00:07:07
			a place in the doorway of Jannah.
		
00:07:07 --> 00:07:09
			And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam told him,
		
00:07:09 --> 00:07:12
			don't limit your dua because Allah might give
		
00:07:12 --> 00:07:13
			you something way better than that.
		
00:07:13 --> 00:07:15
			And you think you're being humble, right?
		
00:07:15 --> 00:07:17
			And you're actually holding yourself back, right?
		
00:07:17 --> 00:07:19
			So goals are the same thing.
		
00:07:19 --> 00:07:21
			Goals can actually hold you back from meeting
		
00:07:21 --> 00:07:24
			your true potential, which might be way above
		
00:07:24 --> 00:07:26
			what your actual goal setting, you know, especially
		
00:07:26 --> 00:07:27
			if you're like me and you tend to
		
00:07:27 --> 00:07:29
			sort of like be very self-critical and
		
00:07:29 --> 00:07:30
			maybe have a low opinion of yourself.
		
00:07:30 --> 00:07:33
			Like you might be capable of much more
		
00:07:33 --> 00:07:33
			than you think.
		
00:07:33 --> 00:07:37
			And that's leading into reason number four, which
		
00:07:37 --> 00:07:39
			he says that goals are at odds with
		
00:07:39 --> 00:07:42
			long term progress, that goals really don't result
		
00:07:42 --> 00:07:43
			in long term progress.
		
00:07:44 --> 00:07:46
			In reality, you do not rise to the
		
00:07:46 --> 00:07:47
			level of your goals.
		
00:07:47 --> 00:07:50
			You fall to the level of your systems.
		
00:07:50 --> 00:07:51
			All right, great.
		
00:07:51 --> 00:07:52
			We're talking about systems.
		
00:07:52 --> 00:07:53
			What are we talking about systems?
		
00:07:54 --> 00:07:57
			He talks, the systems are your habits.
		
00:07:57 --> 00:08:00
			Your habits are the compound interest of self
		
00:08:00 --> 00:08:03
			-improvement that you're trying to get 1%
		
00:08:03 --> 00:08:06
			better every single day, right?
		
00:08:06 --> 00:08:08
			That this is what we're, that's why the
		
00:08:08 --> 00:08:09
			book is called Atomic Habits.
		
00:08:09 --> 00:08:12
			That's why he's having us first think about
		
00:08:12 --> 00:08:14
			habits and how we structure our day.
		
00:08:14 --> 00:08:16
			And this is a very Islamic principle because
		
00:08:16 --> 00:08:20
			in Islam, we are people of process or
		
00:08:20 --> 00:08:21
			people of process.
		
00:08:21 --> 00:08:24
			The prophet said, if the day of judgment
		
00:08:24 --> 00:08:27
			were to happen like right now, and you
		
00:08:27 --> 00:08:29
			had a sapling in your hand, you plant
		
00:08:29 --> 00:08:30
			the sapling because that's your process.
		
00:08:30 --> 00:08:31
			It's the right thing to do.
		
00:08:31 --> 00:08:34
			You do the right thing, no matter what,
		
00:08:34 --> 00:08:36
			no matter what the results are.
		
00:08:36 --> 00:08:39
			And when you surrender that over to Allah,
		
00:08:39 --> 00:08:43
			when you trust the process, you actually get
		
00:08:43 --> 00:08:46
			better results than if you had fixated on
		
00:08:46 --> 00:08:48
			results in the first place.