Tammam Alwan – Relieving Hardships A Path to Allahs Favor
AI: Summary ©
The importance of helping others and not isolate oneself in difficult situations is emphasized in these conversations. The speaker emphasizes the need for mindful and aware behavior, as well as the importance of building deep and meaningful relationships, especially in the face of difficult situations. They recommend starting with 1 on 1 relationships and building support groups, and stress the importance of finding friendships and building support groups. The speaker also emphasizes the need to be emotionally supportive of others and not to forget about their brother and sisters.
AI: Summary ©
All praise and thanks are due to Allah.
We praise and thank him.
We seek his assistance, and we seek his
forgiveness. Subhanahu wa ta'ala.
We take refuge in Allah
from the evils of ourselves
and from the sinfulness of our actions.
Whomever Allah guides, none can misguide.
And whomever Allah misguides,
none can guide.
I bear witness that there is none worth
worshiping
but
Allah alone with no partner. And I bear
witness that Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam
is his servant and his messenger.
Allah reminds us in Surat Alaihi Imran, he
says, oh, you who believe have taqwa of
Allah with the taqwa that is due to
him,
and die not except in a state of
Islam, except in a state of submission. And
he also says
in Surat al Nisa, he says, oh, people,
have taqwa of your lord
who created you from one soul
and created from it its mate
and dispersed from both of them many men
and women.
And have of Allah through whom you ask
one another and the wounds.
Surely Allah
is ever over you an observer.
He narrates in this hadith that's in Muslim
and and similarly in Bukhari and also in
Sahih. He says we were traveling with the
prophet sallallahu
alaihi wasallam.
And some of us were fasting
whereas others of us weren't fasting. And obviously
this is an optional fast. You're traveling and
they're traveling in the desert.
And he says,
we came across
this area where we wanted to camp, set
up camp.
And it was such a hot day.
It was so hot that the people who
had the most shade were those who had
the most,
clothing, right? Very loose clothing that covered them.
And he said it was so extreme
that some of us were using our hands
to shield ourselves from the sun.
That's how hot it was.
To the level
that those of us who were fasting collapsed.
They fell on the ground,
right, for shade.
And then they brought water and they started
giving it to the animals, right, that were
carrying them.
And so the Nabi salallahu alaihi wasallam, he
commented upon this situation
in front of them. And he said, today
today those who aren't fasting, they're the ones
who got the reward.
They're the ones who won. They're the ones
who excelled.
And perhaps one of the reasons, subhanAllah, or
the main reason, is that those who are
fasting, this optional fast, they were fasting for
themselves. Right? They're fasting so that they can
get reward. But those who weren't fasting and
had the strength and had the vigor to
set up, pitch up the tents for everyone,
for the whole group, to get water for
the animals, make sure that the group was
okay, they were serving others.
Not just helping themselves but also helping other
people. And so they had a higher status.
And there are so many ahadith that talk
about this reciprocity,
that we have this reciprocal relationship.
When we help others, Allah helps us. There's
the hadith where the Nabi salallahu alaihi wasallam
tells us, whoever is ready to help his
brother in need, then Allah is ready to
help him in his need. And he also
says salallahu alaihi wasallam, whoever relieves the distress,
the worldly
grief,
the anxiety of the Muslim in this world,
if you help them out, then Allah relieves
you from the distresses of the day of
rising, the day of resurrection.
And he says, salallahu alaihi wasallam, that Allah
shows mercy
to those of his slaves who are merciful
to others.
And so when we think about it, we're
really in 2 states, subhanAllah.
On the one hand, we're either
helping others or we're being helped. We're either
seeking advice, we're seeking support, we're seeking assistance,
we're seeking aid, or we're providing that to
others.
So let's begin with the first of these
states.
The one who's asking for help.
You know, subhanAllah.
When we are recommended by our masha'ih, which
is a beautiful practice, after salah, look to
who's on your right and look to who's
on your left and say salaam to this
person, say salaam to that person. Get to
know them.
We get their name.
But something that we sometimes forget about is
the burden that they're carrying,
the hardship that they're experiencing,
the adversity that they're facing.
And don't think that, oh, you know what?
It's just me. I'm I'm really dealing with
a difficult situation. This is, subhanAllah, one of
the tests of this short fleeting life.
It's the difficulty of it. It's the toiling
of it. And SubhanAllah, even our blessed prophet
sallallahu alaihi wasallam, he had aamulhuzn that year
of sadness
and what grief he faced in so many
occasions in the seerah.
We have stories in the Quran that talk
about sadness, about grief. You know, perhaps
one that comes to mind is Sayyidina Yaqub
alayhi salaam.
When he lost his son Yusuf, he was
so grief stricken that he continued to cry
and cry and cry until he became blinded
with his sadness
alayhi salaam.
So this is part of the human experience.
We shouldn't be shy of like, Oh, you
know what? I'm just going through a difficult
situation. But we have to let other people
know. We can't isolate ourselves.
And so simple things like
sending a message. Do you know how happy
the community gets when when you text a
few people and you say, you know what?
I'm really sick right now. Can someone please
help me?
Get some soup, get some medicine, go to
the drugstore, get this for me. Can you
get me some hydrating drinks?
Or if someone you know, no one knows
if you have a family member in the
hospital until you say something like, you know
what? Actually my my spouse is in the
hospital, my child, my parent. It's really difficult
on me. And what happens? SubhanAllah. People come
with the meal trains. Don't even think about
food. We're gonna cook for you food, subhanAllah.
When someone gives birth
or a spouse gives birth, and the difficulty
of the whole situation in the 1st few
weeks, subhanAllah,
when you're moving.
And you just need someone to help you
pack up the boxes, put some bubble wrap,
lift up some things, and maneuver,
it's an opportunity, upon Allah, for khair. I
can't tell you how many times I've reached
out to people and they say, thank you.
Thank
you for giving me the opportunity for khair.
Similarly, you're gonna find your brothers and sisters
are happy to do this, insha'allah
Sometimes you just need to talk.
Sometimes it's you don't need advice or an
answer to a question or you're struggling with
your career. You just need someone to talk
to. You just need a listening ear. And
so being able to just reach out to
someone, but you have to let people know.
And, again, brothers, if we can fill in
the gaps
there are some waiting outside, that would be
great. Insha'Allah.
And this is a way to help each
other out so that we're not waiting outside
in the in the rain potentially,
moving up. It's it's an action right now
we can do
Maybe it's a DIY project at home. You're
really struggling with, how can I do this?
How can I do that? Ask people. I
can't tell you also how many times
I hear people saying I wish this person
told me. I wish they told me they
were struggling with their rent and they couldn't
pay the bills this month and they needed
to borrow some money. I would have helped
them. But they never said anything.
Don't be that person. I have a friend
who, subhanAllah, works in corporate.
And he told me, I seek mentorship and
advice from the executives.
I was like, wow, that's a really big
deal. You're going to the c suite. You're
going to the leadership. How do they have
time for you?
And what he told me surprised me. He
said, you know, actually, they're so happy and
delighted
because nobody goes to them for advice.
Everyone's too shy. Most people are too shy.
I don't know if I want to ask
this person. I don't know if I want
to ask that person. So they don't end
up taking advantage
of the opportunity.
How about those of us who can offer
help?
Think of our situation here in Dallas, subhanAllah.
Many of us, like so many people, subhanAllah,
on a monthly basis are moving to our
community.
Increase us in number.
It's a beautiful thing. But what have we
left behind? Whom have we left behind? Sometimes
we're immigrants. We've left our parents. We've left
our siblings, our aunts, our uncles.
We've left
a support system from our extended family. We've
come here just maybe with our spouse and
our children, and it's a more difficult situation.
We came for noble reasons. We want a
Muslim community, a good environment, masha Allah. But
what that means is we have to rely
on each other even more.
And so this is your opportunity, beidulillahi ta'ala,
to reach out
to people.
There's something, subhanAllah, about the questions we ask.
And I'm thinking specifically about another hadith from
Anas ibn Malik radiAllahu anhu'ala. A famous hadith
he said that the Nabi salallahu alaihi wasalam,
one of the times he visited me in
my home,
and he saw him crying.
And in one narration, he says, I think
he had just finished being weaned. Like, he
was nursing, and so he had just stopped.
So we can imagine, maybe he's 2 years
old.
Maybe he's 3 years old. A very young
boy. And then Abi sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
saw him sniffling,
saw him crying, saw him experiencing
sadness.
And so he starts asking about him and
he says, what what happened? What happened to
this boy? Why is he sad?
And they said, well he used to have
a little bird, a sparrow,
and it died. His pet bird died.
And so he was just so sad. And
so he says SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam, he says,
What happened to your birdie? What happened to
your bird?
Imagine, you know, subhanAllah, then Nabi salallahu alaihi
wasalam with the importance of his mission,
with the elevation of his status,
and he sees a toddler,
and he approaches him, and he directs his
full attention. He's fully present, and he communicates
with him. He empathizes with him.
He connects with him.
And I was reading the commentary of this
hadith
preparing for the Khutba. And one of the
hadith scholars said he said, you know,
some people used to mock the scholars of
hadith.
They used to make fun of them and
say, why did you why are you taking
this hadith and writing it down and memorizing
it and passing it on? It's insignificant.
And he said, until this day, we have
derived more than 60 benefits from this hadith.
More than 60 benefits and wisdoms and lessons
from this one short hadith.
SubhanAllah. Very simple. But again, just with us
in the Masjid, how many times do we
see a kid and we say salaam to
their dad or their mom and we're not
even looking
who at the person who's in front of
us and and just giving them salaam, giving
them that attention.
Sometimes people need a hug. Sometimes people need
a shoulder to cry and even brothers. Like,
sometimes you're in a difficult situation.
Reach out to people.
Reach out to people. Because we know from
COVID, people were going through a difficult time.
Well, that hasn't stopped. Like we said, this
is one of the,
this is the nature of our life.
And,
I want to end with this point of
how do you build this? Like, some of
us might be asking, all right.
I want some help in my situation or
I want to help other people. How can
I go about this, practically speaking?
Well, the important thing is that you need
deep
and meaningful relationships.
How many times do we get together at
the Dawats,
the Uzumah, the Azima, and we're talking about
sports and cars and politics and products?
We're talking about current events and different things,
and we're not getting very deep about certain
issues, subhanAllah.
When you get deep, use that as a
gauge for yourself personally. Use that as a
way to fish and kind of see, you
know what? This brother or this sister, they
seem like someone who I want to come
closer to. They seem like someone who I
want to develop a relationship with. And don't
feel that you're alone if you think right
now, I don't have any friends.
Research shows that right now, in terms of
friendship, it's like a historic low. We're not
socializing with one another. We're not spending time
with one another. Our connections are superficial through
Whatsapp, through through social media, subhanAllah. Those aren't
real relationships where we're sitting down. Try to
increase from the 1 on 1.
Not just big groups but 1 on 1
where you're sitting down with this person or
that person and you're talking. Here's what's happening
in my life. What's happening in your life?
You don't have to share everything, but just
start somewhere.
There's a book called Never Eat Alone
where the author recommends take every opportunity you
can. We don't have to go to that
extreme
of like always being hanging out and networking,
but just try once a week. Once a
week, say, let's grab coffee. Come over for
tea. Do you know, let's connect with one
another
And you may not have that now, but
just take a chance
And I promise you, you're gonna be surprised
Just take a chance. Connect with someone in
the community.
Find that support. Build your support group. You'll
be very blessed if you find one friend
like this. If you have 2 or 3,
this is amazing.
This is amazing. Don't aim for big numbers.
Quality
over quantity. And sometimes you're just gonna be
in that situation like Sayyidina Yaqub alayhi salaam,
Although he had his family and everyone, where
you say
Where you say, you Allah, I'm gonna have
a beautiful patience. I'm gonna rely on Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. I don't have that. I'm
gonna build that. But in the meantime and
also when you develop that friend those friendships
and those relationships, keep going to Allah.
For the youth, a specific advice for the
young brothers and sisters right now in the
masjid.
I mean, at least until high school, I
would say,
go to your parents.
I still go to my parents for advice.
There's so much misinformation online.
There's so much wrong information that you find
amongst other people, amongst your peer groups, where
you go to them and you're like, okay,
I'm gonna implement this chutba, and I'm gonna
go to my friend in 5th grade or
in 11th grade or in elementary school, and
you find they don't give you advice. So
go to your moms, go to your dads,
ask them for advice. Ask them, who do
you go to when you need help? And
so what should I do in this situation?
This is how you're gonna grow,
until you get to that older age. And
Palestine you know, subhanAllah, every time I sit
down to write a khutbah, I think of
our brothers and sisters in Palestine. May Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala grant them victory. May Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala grant them peace.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant them peace.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala have mercy upon
their martyrs.
If there ever was an example, subhanAllah, we
have so many incidents that are being reported
of, you know, helping each other out or
even,
emotional consolation of one another.
But something that, you know, really stood out
to me of like, how can we kind
of, like, support them? We're sending donations is
what one of the one of the doctors
said who went to Gaza and came back.
It still sticks with me. He said, in
one of those panels,
he said, I never used to go to
protests.
I never used I said, who cares? It
doesn't matter. Who cares? I mean, what difference
is it gonna make if I'm going to
city hall, if I'm doing something locally here
in Dallas?
And then he said, when I was there
in Gaza,
the people told me, when you do that
in America,
we see you. The news reaches us. The
pictures reach us. The videos reach us. And
we feel so emotionally supported
by you standing out there and remembering us.
So even these small acts, subhanAllah, they go
a large way, where beyond our community, our
brothers and sisters in Palestine and elsewhere in
the world where they're oppressed, whether it's East
Turkestan, the Rohingya.
We don't forget about our brothers and sisters
in Sudan, in all of the Muslim countries,
subhanAllah, and the non Muslim countries as well,
in France and the crackdown on Muslims there,
SubhanAllah,
doing that makes a big impact.
So in summary, again, we're always in these
2 states. Either we're seeking help
or we're helping others.
If you need help, speak
out, reach out, connect with someone, and get
the help you need. And if you're able
to do it, then again, have those positive
relationships so that you can be
be able to provide that for others.
Brothers and sisters, just move forward, please. Fill
in all the gaps, shoulder to shoulder. Brother,
move toward your right side to get a
space.
Sister, move toward your left side, to get
a space.