Tamara Gray – Have you made the intention to go to Hajj

The first year I moved back to Damascus,

I was taking Quran classes, and I was struggling to memorize a verse

about Hej, the one that's in Surat Al Baqarah,

or one of the ones in Surat Al Baqarah, was really struggling.

And my teacher was like, What's wrong with you? Why did you not

recite it at home? Did you not write it down? Did you not like

all these things that she would ask me to do? So I did all of

these things. I just can't remember it. She said, go to the

other room and review it and come back later. So I did this. I went

to the other room, and while I was there, I was just like, What is

wrong with me? I'm it's memorization is difficult for me.

It was always has been, of course, even more so as I age. But I

wasn't raised in a memorizing culture, and I wasn't had zero

practice, but nonetheless, I had done the same effort here as

everything else, and yet I just couldn't get it out of my mouth.

And I realized that I had not made the intention to go on has we were

flat broke. We had been students before that, and now we were

living in Damascus. My husband was still looking for a job there. I

had landed a substitute job at the American School like we were flat

broke, but I hadn't made the intention, and I realized, Oh,

that's not okay. So I made the intention, and literally, I

remembered the verse I went in and I recited it. And subhanAllah, I

want to invite everyone here if you have not been unheish, if you

have not been on HESH, right now, just pause for a minute and go

into their deepest heart and just say, Yeah, Allah, I intend to go

on. Has you? You make the time I you know I'm ready. When you're

ready, I hope for a soon invitation, but I intend from now.

I intended it 27 years old, and I didn't go until I was 46 I think

4546

and, I mean, that's that. And every year I would every year I

would ask every in the first few years, I didn't, I mean, we just

had, it was an impossibility. But every year I sort of looked around

and wondered, would this be the year? Would this be the year?

Would this be the

year? As Paula took a long time, but what a blessing it was when I

finally was able to go and for all of you, sha Allah, make the

intention. That's part of fulfilling this Islam. That's part

of saying yes. It's part of saying yes, I am of the Muslim mean, and

muslimat that I intend to go on Hajj. I don't know how. I don't

know when Allah spanza will invite me at the best time, sha Allah,

but I intend to go on Hajj and fulfill this rekin, this pillar

of my religion as.