Taimiyyah Zubair – Taleem al Quran 2021 J02-032B Tafsir Al-Baqarah 234

			Alright, let's do it have seat Bismillah AR Rahman AR Rahim verse number 234 What Lavina Utah a
phone M income, and those who are taken in death among you were the Rona as Weijun and they leave
behind wives yet or bus snobby, unfussy. Hiner are Bertha asuran Warshaw, they, meaning the widows
will wait for four months and 10 days. Now this is the waiting period for all widows earlier we
learned about the waiting period for the divorced women, and that is Falletta. Kuru. This is the
waiting period for the widow, meaning the woman whose husband has passed away. And yeah, the owner
as Weijun. This refers to all women whose husbands have died. Okay, so this could be a woman with
		

			whom marriage was consummated, or a woman with whom marriage was not consumated. So for example,
imagine that a man and woman, they get married, and they live together for five years, and then the
husband dies. So the widow now has to observe the waiting period of four months and 10 days. Another
scenario, a man and woman get married, and the Nikka had just happened. Okay, the marriage happened,
the wedding happened, as they were going home an accident and the man dies, the woman survives, but
the man dies. So the marriage was not consummated. They weren't living together. Okay. In this case,
also, the woman has to observe the waiting period of four months and 10 days. Okay, so where are the
		

			wounds as Weijun this is a general statement that is being made over here for all types of wives.
Okay, so whether the marriage was consummated or not, whether the mud was given or not, whether the
widow is young or old, okay, free or slave, and some are gonna say even Muslim or Kitabi okay Kitabi
as in a woman from the people of the book, because remember, that marriage to a woman from the
people of the book is permissible for Muslim men, okay. So even she will observe the waiting period.
Why because the prophets of Allah Who are you Selim said, that layer Hello Limra attend to meno
Billa he will yo mil AF at the head Darla uten fo Cathy a Yemen, in La Jolla. zodion are Bartha
		

			shouldn't worship. He said that it is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last
Day now who believes in Allah and the Last Day, a Muslim woman and also a woman from the people of
the book, a Jewish woman or a Christian woman, even she believes in Allah and the Last Day, right?
So it is not permissible for such a woman to mourn for anyone who dies for more than three days,
except for a husband. Okay, in the case of the husband, she will mourn for how long four months and
10 days, there's a Hadith from so necessity. So here, remember that this waiting period has to be
observed by who? All widows. Okay, again, to reiterate whether the marriage was consummated or not,
		

			whether the widow is young or old, whether her Muhammad was given or not, whether she is Muslim, or
Kitabi, whether she's free or slave, when the husband dies, she has to observe the waiting period of
four months and 10 days. Now this waiting period is called Hey, Dad. Okay, her doll, Elif doll, Hey,
Dad. And typically the word is used for the waiting period of the divorced woman and her dad is used
for the waiting period of a widow. And the waiting period of the widow is how long for lunar months
and 10 days. How do we know it's lunar months? Because remember the idea? Yes, a lunar carnal a
healer they ask you about the crescent moons call here miroir pito leanness, the crescent moons,
		

			they are for the purpose of determining the measure of time. So when you have to measure the time of
something, so, for example, you have to calculate the four months and 10 days you have to count that
you have to observe that you will go by the crescent, meaning you will go by the lunar months and
this he dad begins from the day that the husband dies. Okay? So if for example, the husband dies on
the second of shall well, okay, so from that day, the woman will begin her waiting period of four
months and 10 days. All right. Now what about the woman who is pregnant? The woman who is pregnant
will observe her waiting period until she gives birth
		

			For her, it's not four months and 10 days. Rather it is until she gives birth in sort of the Tanakh
ayah. Number four, we learn what we'll add to our family ADGER Luna al Darna Humla Han, and those
who are pregnant, they're waiting period is until they give birth. Now someone may argue that well
that verse is in the context of divorce. Yes, it is in the context of divorce. However, there is a
Hadith in which we learn that this applies to even the widow. Okay, there is a Hadith in which we
learn that Sella model de la Mourinho reported that there was a woman by the name of Sue Barra and
her husband died. And what happened is that two men proposed to her, okay, so this woman, her
		

			husband died, two men proposed to her, one was young, and the other one was older. Now she was
inclining to marry the young men. The old man came to her and said that you cannot marry that men
until your era is over. Because what happened is that Cervera she was pregnant at the time that her
husband passed away. All right, and after a few days of her husband's death, she gave birth, okay,
she gave birth, and when she gave birth to men proposed to her one was young one was old, and she
was inclined to marrying the younger one. So the older man came to her and said, No, no, you cannot
get married to him until you wait for four months and 10 days because that is your either, okay,
		

			because he was also hoping that by that time her family will convince her to marry him, the older
man. So anyway, Subbaiah What did she do? She went to the prophets of Allah, who were to send them
to confirm if her waiting period was over or not. And the Prophet sallallahu Urdu said, I'm told her
that Kaadhal Lt. phunki Haman Shetty, you are out of your waiting period now. And so you can marry
whoever you want. So this hadith clarifies that a woman who is pregnant will observe her waiting
period until she gives birth. Okay? And this means that even if she gives birth a few hours after
the husband's death, or a few days after the husband's death, or a few months after, she will be out
		

			of her waiting period once she gives birth. All right, so what if the period is longer than four
months or 10 days or shorter than four months and 10 days? It doesn't matter, among the Sahaba, even
our bus la de la Horne, who he was of the opinion that the pregnant woman has to observe the longer
of the two periods. Okay. So for example, if she gives birth, two months after her husband dies
away, according to the opinion of even our best she will continue to be in Florida in Hey, Dad,
until four months and 10 days, okay, this was the opinion of Ibn Abbas. However, the Sahaba had, you
know, if they laugh, they had differences of opinion of Buddha, Lila Horan, who was of the opinion
		

			that when the woman gives birth, she is allowed to marry someone, meaning she's no longer in her
waiting period. And when this question was brought to him Salah model de la hora and her own seller
model de la hora, and her mentioned the incident of Subbaiah. All right, well de la Mourinho. And
that basically solves the FT laugh, the difference among the companions. And what we understand is
looking at the Quran and looking at what the prophets of Allah who it is that I'm told, so they are
to do that a woman who is pregnant will observe her waiting period until she gives birth. All right,
now remember that the widow, the widow will inherit from her deceased husband and she will also
		

			observe the waiting period. And if a woman does not observe the waiting period, okay, properly, then
remember she is sinning. She is disobeying Allah subhanaw taala now, the ISS yet are Basner be
unfussy. hinda the women have to wait with themselves what does it mean by a total boss mobian
fusina? What is it that they have to hold back from basically three things? Okay. Three things are
forbidden for the widow. First of all, she cannot get engaged or get married, or even make herself
available for marriage. Okay. So, for example, if someone proposes to her while she is in her
waiting period, she cannot accept that proposal. She cannot even make herself available for
		

			marriage. So for example, these days people you know, will use the salam app or
		

			I don't know these marriage apps and things like that. That is not permissible for a widow while she
is in her waiting period after a waiting period sure she can. But before that note that is not
permissible. She cannot make herself available for marriage. All right. The second thing that is
forbidden for a woman who is observing the hijab, is beautification. beautification is not
permissible. It doesn't mean that she has to remain dirty, or she can only wear black or she can
only wear white. No, what is forbidden is beautification. And the Prophet sallallahu radiocentre was
very firm about this. We learned that permission was asked for a woman to wear her that in her eyes,
		

			okay, not for the purpose of beautification, but as medicine for her eyes. And the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi salam did not allow that. Because Cohan, yes, it's good for your eyes, but it's
also the zine. It's also for the purpose of adornment, okay, so you can put something else but not
coho. Now, when it comes to beautification, especially, you know, there's four things which are
prohibited. What are these four things, first of all, beautification of the body, that you meet a
burden, which means for example, wearing makeup, that is how you beautify your body, wearing makeup
wearing coherent the Prophet sallallahu Arneson forbade that. Now this doesn't mean that you cannot
		

			comb your hair. No, of course you can comb your hair, but you cannot color them you cannot put
henna, you cannot put hair dye. Alright, likewise, you can use the hairdryer to dry your hair, but
you're not going to go and style your hair okay. Likewise a woman can remove you know, facial hair
or you know the such from her body. Because that is not for the purpose of beautification that is
for the purpose of the Hatha and just you know, looking after yourself, but what is forbidden is
beautification. Okay, the Jimena button. Secondly, part of this is wearing jewelry. wearing jewelry
is also not permissible for a woman who is in her that whether it is gold or silver or any metal or
		

			even plastic, whether it's a ring or necklace or earrings or bangles, it doesn't matter jewelry is
not permissible for the woman who is in heeded, sometimes what happens is that a woman has been
wearing her bangles for a very long time. Okay, and she's not able to you know, take it off herself
while she has to figure out what to do, but those bangles need to be taken off okay. Even if she has
a gold or silver tooth, okay that has to be removed. You know, some people wear a gold or silver
tooth because of a need Okay, for example, they lost a tooth and they tried to get a tooth made of
some other material, but that is not suiting their body. So they have to wear a tooth made of gold
		

			or silver that is permissible because there is a Hajer it's necessary to wear that tooth, okay,
otherwise the woman cannot chew. But if that gold or silver tooth is for the purpose of adornment,
and people do that, they will wear literally a silver tooth, for example, a gold tooth for the
purpose of adornment, okay, or they have a diamond on their tooth, that diamond has to be removed,
that silver tooth that's where the purpose of adornment has to be removed, okay, body piercings,
they will have to be removed. So, you understand now that jewelry because it is worn for the purpose
of adornment that has to be removed from the body. Cleanliness is not forbidden. Okay, like I
		

			mentioned, a woman can remove the hair from her body. Likewise, you can go to the dentist,
absolutely. All right, you can get your teeth cleaned. What is prohibited is beautification. Whether
it is in the form of earrings, or a silver tooth or a diamond on the tooth, or a nose ring, or
bangles, anything like that a woman is not allowed to wear that during her waiting period. Okay.
Thirdly part of the zine is part of beautification is beautiful clothing. Beautiful clothing is also
forbidden for the woman who is in her waiting period. And what is beautiful, any is what is
considered fancy, whether it is a fancy shirt or pant or hijab, or skirt or dress, or whatever it
		

			is, okay? If it's not considered dress clothes. If it's not considered fancy clothes, then there is
no harm in that. Whatever color it may be. I
		

			Write so it's not the color. It's not the style, meaning what you know style of clothing it is. But
it is the dress Enos. So for example, you have a red shirt that is cotton. It's a t shirt that you
wear around the house while doing the chores. Is a woman allowed to wear that in her head? And yes,
she is. What if she has a white dress that she only wears to special occasions? Is she allowed to
wear that during her waiting period? No, she's not allowed to. So remember, it's not the color okay,
rather it is the dress Enos. So beautiful clothing is forbidden. Alright, the fourth thing that is
forbidden is plebe fragrance, whether it is in the form of fragrance oil, or it is in the form of a
		

			spray, okay, that is also forbidden, whether it is worn on the body, or the clothes, that is
forbidden. However, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam did allow women to apply fragrance on
their body at the end of their period. Okay. And that to only in the place of hate to in order to
remove the smell. And because of this, for example, if a woman wears a deodorant that has fragrance
in it, that is permissible because you're not wearing deodorant in order to really make your whole
body smell nice. No, it's just going to be restricted to a certain area. Likewise, if you use
shampoo, right, that shampoo has fragrance in it, that is permissible because you're not using that
		

			shampoo for the purpose of applying fragrance on your hair. Okay, you're just using that shampoo to
wash your hair. So the restriction is not like that of the market. In Iran, you have to be extremely
careful. Right? So what is forbidden in Hey Dad is applying fragrance on the body because you apply
a fragrance when you adorn yourself, right when you're getting ready, then you you know wear
perfume, things like that. So the fragrance that is used for adornment that fragrance is prohibited.
Okay, light fragrance for the purpose of cleaning the body for the purpose of removing smell from
the body. Like for example from the armpits or from, like I mentioned the place of hide, that is
		

			permissible. But even that has to be very, very little. In her these we learned that Omar gliadel de
la Horne who mentioned that we were forbidden to observe mourning for the dead beyond three days
except in the case of the husband, and that is four months and 10 days. And during this period, we
were told to lenok the hill that we should not wear and wear Lana Tata Yep. And we should not wear
perfume. Well Enel bus Wilburn must Bhuvan. And we should not wear clothes that are dyed that are
colored because in that culture, dye was put on colors for the purpose of making them more fancy.
Okay? She said but concession was given to a woman when one of us was purified of our menses to make
		

			use of a little scent, just a little bit of scent at that time in order to remove the smell from the
body. Okay, so that permission is there. So what do we learn, the second position is what for a
woman and he died, that she is not allowed to beautify herself. And that beautification could be in
her body, in the form of jewelry, in the form of clothing, and in the form of sleep. Okay, the third
thing, which is forbidden for a woman in her dad is leaving the house, okay, leaving the house. And
even in that actually, there's a difference of opinion. Even Ernesto de la Horne who, as well as
Earth, Manuel de la hora, and who and Ibn Masaru, Dattilo horn, who they were of the opinion that
		

			the widow will observe the waiting period in the house of the husband, okay, where she lives with
her husband, or in the place where she receives the news of the death of the husband. But basically,
the point is that she's going to remain in that place for four months and 10 days. And she cannot go
out of that house. She cannot leave the house. All right. And the only exception is that, you know,
when there's some necessity, when there's some need, that she must go out of the house, for example,
there's absolutely no food in the house and there's no one to bring it for her. So in that case,
yes, she can go and get some food for herself. All right. Or, for example, you know, she is alone in
		

			the house. She is afraid she's lonely.
		

			So for her well being okay, she goes and you know, spend some time with a friend, but then she has
to come back. All right, she cannot leave the house except in the case of necessity or need, and
even then she has to spend the night in the house. Okay? She has to spend the night in the house of
the husband or the place that she is observing her waiting period. And so this is one school of
thought, Okay, this is the opinion of intermodal de la Horne, who Earth Manuel de la Mourinho,
eponymous ruderal de la Moreno and other companions. On the other hand, companions such as our
Chateau de la Mourinho, even our best Bill de la Mourinho, our little de la Mourinho jab, it'll de
		

			la Horne, who they held the opinion that she is allowed to leave the house. Okay, so first of all,
she can go anywhere, she doesn't have to stay in the house, she's not restricted to the house of the
husband of the deceased husband or the house of her parents, she can be wherever she wants and she
can also go out whenever she wants, okay, why because there is no authentic report that specifies
where she is supposed to stay, okay. And in the aisle also, if you see Allah subhanaw taala says yet
there are Bosna be unforeseen or Bharath asuran washable, and he looked at how specific this is that
she has to observe the waiting period for four months and 10 days, okay, four months and 10 days are
		

			mentioned and it has not been said that they must remain in the house, the place has not been
specified. So according to the opinion of Isola de la Mourinho what we understand is that he died,
okay is a state, it is not a place, it is a state that a woman is in for four months in 10 days
where she will not get married, and she will not beautify herself, okay, it doesn't mean that she is
restricted to a place and she cannot go out at all. And this is why we learn that I shall Dylan
learn how even allowed women who were in her dad to travel to go for Hajj to go for Umrah, she
permitted that Allahu Arna The main thing is that during this time, she cannot get married and she
		

			cannot beautify herself, okay. However, it is safer for a woman to not during this time, go to
different parties, you know, socializing with people and things like that, unless there is a need a
need such as you know, she has to go to work, she's studying, okay, she has to deal with, you know,
all the finances now. So, she has to go to the bank, she may have to go to court, she may have to go
to a real estate office, she may have to go you know, every day out of the house to drop her kids to
school to pick them up from school, she has to now go into the groceries, you know, there's so many
things that she has to do. So, she is allowed to do that, okay. So, understand that there is a
		

			difference of opinion among the Allama. So, you will see this variation in some cultures people are
very strict that a woman has to stay in the house, she cannot leave the house even and this is not
cultural, this has based on the understanding of the companions. On the other hand, in other places,
you will see where a different method is followed, you will see that people are very relaxed about
this. So the woman is going out to you know, for work she is going out to you know, meet someone
she's even traveling. This is not because she doesn't care about the waiting period. It's because
she observes a different method, the opinion of Aisha de la Mourinho. So like I said, it is
		

			definitely safer that a woman abstains from socializing, okay? And this is the opinion of the
majority, okay, that a woman abstains from going out unnecessarily. And if you think about it,
different people are in different situations. So you know, some women, they have the privilege to
just stay at home during this time and other women do not have that privilege. They have to go and
do everything themselves. Now, the only things that are forbidden are these three, and what are
these three things? Again, Marian, okay. Secondly, beautification. And thirdly, going out of the
house. Everything else besides that is permissible, which means that a woman can see another man,
		

			okay? She can live her normal life, she can comb her hair, she can, you know, wear colored clothing
and things like that she can live her normal life. The only thing that she's not allowed to do are
the few things that I mentioned. Okay. Now remember that the hay that begins when the husband dies,
and it ends after four months and 10 days? Okay? What is the reason? What's the hay
		

			Come on, what's the wisdom behind this waiting period? Yeah, total bust gonna be unforeseen or
Bharata. Assuring wash law. Because you see, it's not just three menstrual cycles. It's not one
menstrual cycle, it is four months, 10 days. And it's something very specific. Right? So the reason
I say that, first of all, this is a fief, a concession from what the people at the time of the
Prophet salallahu. Salam would do. Remember that prior to Islam, a widow would remain in mourning
for an entire year. Okay, so a third of that would be exactly four months and 10 days. How? For a
third of a year, okay, a third of a year, 12 months is how much? Four months? Okay, and a third of a
		

			month is 10 days. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he mentioned in a hadith that during
the J Helia, one of you would mourn for an entire year. Now, the waiting period is four months and
10 days. So it is reduced. It is a concession. It is it the FEAF Allah subhanaw taala has lightened
the burden somewhere LMS suggests that there is another wisdom behind the four months and 10 days.
And that is to fully reveal pregnancy. Well, you might say that pregnancy can be revealed within a
month even one menstrual cycle. Right? That is possible. But it is also possible for a woman to
bleed in early pregnancy. I remember this woman once mentioned to me about how once he was bleeding
		

			constantly, alright, and one month went by second month went by. And she thought that she had a
miscarriage. Okay, and she went to the doctor for a DNC. And just before the DNC, you know, they did
a pregnancy test. And they found out that she was actually pregnant, they did an ultrasound, and
they check the heartbeat, and they found the baby was alive. Now imagine this woman had been
bleeding for many, many weeks. And initially, she thought this was a period that was very long, then
she thought, you know, this is perhaps a miscarriage, and she couldn't figure out what was wrong
with her. And she was bleeding because of her pregnancy. And she continued to bleed for quite some
		

			time. So it is possible for a woman to bleed in early pregnancy, and not find out that she's
pregnant. But if she is actually pregnant, and the fetus is alive, that pregnancy will become
evident by four months and 10 days. All right. And in a hadith we learned the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam said that the creation of one of you is put together in the womb of the mother, as
a note for for 40 days. And then he becomes an ER Aloka for 40 days. And then he becomes like a
chewed piece of flesh for 40 days. And then Allah sends an angel, and the angel puts the soul into
him. So think about it, 40 days, 40 days, 40 days, that's how much four months, right 120 days is
		

			four months. So to be on the safe side, 10 days are added to that, because the sole comes at some
point around after 120 days, right? So to be on the safe side, 10 days are added to that. Because
some months can be shorter or longer. So by four months and 10 days, the pregnancy is certainly
revealed. Right? And by that time, a woman also begins to feel the movements of the fetus. Right?
She knows for sure that yes, I am actually pregnant. So what's the wisdom behind four months and 10
days to fully reveal pregnancy? Now this does not mean that if we can rule out pregnancy through a
medical test before four months and 10 days, then the woman does not have to observe there, he does
		

			know she still has to and remember that the hey dad is not just for the woman with whom marriage was
consummated. It's also for the woman with whom marriage was not consumed. So there is no way that
she could be pregnant. Right? But even her she has to observe for months and 10 days. And even a
woman who is older, who no longer menstrual rates, right? There is no possibility that she will
become pregnant, she still has to observe the waiting period. And yes, a miscarriage counts as
giving birth because in the Quran, what is mentioned is Al Darna homeloan that they deliver their
pregnancy. It doesn't matter whether it was full term or not, whether the fetus is alive or not. The
		

			point is that the end of the pregnancy means the end of the waiting period. Now there is another
benefit in observing the waiting period and this is to allow a woman to grieve in peace and to come
to terms with her
		

			was basically four months and 10 days means that a woman cannot get married. Right. And if she was
allowed to get married during this time, you know, it's possible that, you know, she loses her
husband. And then the week after that she's forced to marry someone else, or she's pressured into
marrying someone else. Right? So four months and 10 days means that she cannot marry don't even talk
to her. Okay about marriage, let her grieve in peace, let her come to terms with her loss. Now, this
doesn't mean that by the end of four months and 10 days, you will be completely healed, she will no
longer be sad, she will no longer be, you know, grieving. No, everyone has, you know, their own
		

			schedule. Some people they take very long to recover from a loss. And some people they recover very
quickly. But for four months and 10 days, let her grieve and peace. You know, this is a time that a
woman is given to be with herself, to not have to marry someone else. Let her grieve and peace.
Okay. Now there is a question. Does the widower does the man have to observe his dad? No, he does
not. Why? Because these things are not relevant to men. Okay? How? First of all, if the wisdom is to
reveal pregnancy, a man does not get pregnant, so that's not relevant, right? Secondly, remember
that the waiting period means that a woman cannot marry someone. Okay? A man on the other hand, he
		

			can be married, you know, up to four wives at a time. So, you know, imagine if a man has two wives,
one of them dies doesn't apply to him. He's already married. Right? And if you apply the rules of
Hey, Dad, no leaving the house for four months and 10 days. Well, that doesn't make sense because
what about his other wife her rights will be neglected? Right. So some people just look at the
surface and say, look at the bias a woman has to observe waiting period a man does not have to, it's
irrelevant to a man. Okay. So the man does not have to observe that for either Bologna, Angela
Hoonah. Then when they have fulfilled their term, meaning the women have fulfilled their term of her
		

			dad, the four months and 10 days are over, follow Jonah Hara lay calm, there is no blame on you,
meaning the family of the woman, female philosophy and fusina been maruf in regard to what they do
with themselves in a manner that is acceptable. What does this mean? This means that after a woman
has observed her waiting period, then she's free to marry someone else. Okay. And if she beautifies
herself for that purpose, you let her do that. Okay, so now how are these we learned that so Barra,
the same incident that I mentioned to you earlier, that she gave birth after 20 or so days after her
husband died? Okay, so 20 Something days after her husband died, she gave birth. And when her
		

			postnatal bleeding ended, she adorned herself, why did she adorn herself, because she wanted to now
prepare herself to get married again. So someone criticized her for doing that, that How dare you do
this? Why are you doing this? They shamed her. And this was mentioned the Prophet sallallahu alayhi
wasallam. And he said that if she does that, then her waiting period is over. She's allowed to do
that. Okay, so for now, Gina Hurley consumer for Olivia unforseeable Maroof. So a woman is allowed
to prepare herself for marriage after her waiting period is over. And there is no blame on her.
There is no blame on her family. Well, Allah will be my dharma Luna Habib and Allah is fully
		

			acquainted of what you do. So Allah knows he is aware whether you are observing the waiting period
correctly or not. Now there is a question. This is the case of the husband. Right? When the husband
dies, then the woman will observe the waiting period for four months and 10 days. What about the
death of the Father? Or the death of the mother? Or some other relative close friend? Like a
grandparent, one's own child? Is a person allowed to mourn their death? Yes. And by morning, don't
take it literally being sad. Of course, you will be sad. What I mean is the rules of Hey, Dad, such
as no wedding should happen, and no beautification should be done. Okay, so can a woman observe her
		

			dad for the death of someone other than the husband? Yes, it is permissible, but only for three
days. And not more than that. Okay. We learned in a hadith about ohm Habiba de la hora and the wife
of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that when her father died after three days, she asked for
some perfume and
		

			Okay, someone came to visit her, someone came to see her and she asked for some perfume that had
some yellow saffron, some dye in it. Okay. And when that perfume was brought to her, what did she
do? She applied it on herself. And there was a girl with her. She also applied it on the girl. All
right. And then she said that by Allah, I have no need for this. Any it's not like I'm going to some
wedding or, you know, this is the day of read or something like this, because of which I am
beautifying myself. No, the reason why I'm doing this is because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam said that it is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for
		

			the dead more than three days except for her husband, in which case it is four months and 10 days.
So mourning is permissible in the case of other people, but not more than three days. Okay, after
that, you have to do something, to show that you are no longer in mourning. This does not mean that
you are not allowed to feel sad anymore, that you remove sadness from your heart. No, he that does
not have anything to do with the state of your heart. Okay, you're not forced to change your
feelings. Because you are a human being and your feelings are not always in your control and you are
allowed to feel sad. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he used to remember Khadija will de la
		

			Mourinho years after she passed away. And he used to remember her so much, that I shall do a lot
more on her was very, very jealous, okay. And she expressed her jealousy, you know, very clearly at
a certain point. So your feelings are not supposed to be eradicated. But the point is that outwardly
externally, you live a normal life, or you at least bring yourself to living normally. Okay? Why?
Because you and those who are around you deserve from you that you pay attention to them, pay
attention to yourself, pay attention to those around you go back to normal, normal doesn't mean that
now your heart has to be without any feelings, no, but outwardly, externally. You have to be there
		

			for those who are around you for those who are alive. Okay, they have a right on you. They have a
hug on you. And sadly, you know, in many cultures, women are criticized if they wear something other
than white women are criticized if they, you know, dare to wear lipstick, five years after, you
know, the husband has died. It's as if forever they remain a widow. And that is not correct. Okay.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that he who slaps the cheeks, tears, the cloths and
follows the tradition of the days of ignorance is not from us. So this is also important that during
Hidin, during the waiting period, it doesn't mean that now a woman is wailing loudly and she is you
		

			know, celebrating grief. No, she can cry as much as you know, she needs to, she can be sad. She can,
you know, prefer to be by herself. And all of that is fine. what is forbidden is wailing, you know,
beating yourself up and following the tradition of the days of ignorance of the way before Islam.
Now, there is another question, this is the case of the woman whose husband has died, right? She
will observe the waiting period of four months and 10 days. What about the woman whose husband is
lost? You understand the woman whose husband is lost? What is she supposed to do? And when can she
remarry? So there's a difference of opinion among the Allama. Okay, some say that she has to wait
		

			for four years. Okay, some say that she has to wait for 70 years and things like that. Any there's a
whole lot of opinions, all right, but based on this idea, okay. What can be done is that she waits
for a year, okay. So for an entire year, she waits for her husband to return or she tries to figure
out where he is. And then after that, she observes the four months and 10 days, okay, because then
she will understand that he is no longer alive. And then after the four months and 10 days, she is
free to marry. All right. Another thing can be done because sometimes what happens is that a man
does not even give the luck, okay, but he just disappears, okay? And the woman is not able to track
		

			him down. She does not know whether he is in the same country or another country or he is alive or
dead any there is no way of tracking him. She has made a police report. You know, she's not able to
track him down. So what is she supposed to do? So some of her lemma says she has to wait
		

			For a year, some says she has to wait for four years remodel de la Horne who said that she should
wait for four years and then observe there are four months and 10 days. Others say she has to wait
for one year and then wait for four months and 10 days. The opinion of her model de la Mourinho
makes sense because one year is short. Okay. And four years is long enough. Four years is long
enough. First, the annulment of Nika is only possible if the man is there, okay, if the man is not
even there, there is no way of tracking him there is no way of finding out you know, then in that
case, an assumption has to be made that he is no longer alive. And then she will observe that the
		

			off the widow, so in summary, or model de la Mourinho, his opinion is for years she will wait and
then she will observe their adult for months and 10 days the WHO that? Yes, so four years plus four
months and 10 days. All right.