Taimiyyah Zubair – Taleem al Quran 2012 – P02 031D Tafsir Al-Baqarah 230-232
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The speakers discuss the legality of marriage and divorce in the United States, emphasizing the importance of avoiding divorce and harms, following rules, and finding a way to avoid negative behavior. They stress the need for women to have a strong desire to get married and avoiding divorce, and emphasize the importance of avoiding harms and finding a way to avoid divorce. The speakers also touch on the concept of "med strict" and how it relates to marriage, highlighting the need for women to have a strong desire to get married and avoid divorce.
AI: Summary ©
For Inverloch AHA then if he divorces her, meaning if the husband divorces the woman for the third time, then fill out a handler who then she will not be permissible for him. mimbar do after that, after the third divorce, she is not harmful for him anymore at all. Neither in there, nor afterwards, in there that he cannot do to juror and after they're done, he cannot re marry her.
When it comes to the first and second divorce, then what happens? Can he do to draw in there? Can he? Yes.
If he doesn't do to draw afterwards, can he get married to her again? Yes, he can. But the third divorce, Allah says fella, the hen Lulu woman bar to she is not permissible for him. After that,
there is no chance that the two will get together. Hang in there until there's one case where the two can get together again where they can get married. Where if then kill her, she marries me the woman she gets married to XO, Jen, a husband laid a whole other than him, meaning other than the first one. So she gets married again to somebody else. For him luck or her then if he divorces her, meaning the second husband divorces her.
Then for legenda Harley Hema there is no sin upon them to who the woman and her first husband, and yet the raja that both returned to one another. You thought all Jarrah from Buju rajim. I mean,
there is no sin upon them if they return to each other meaning if they agree to get married to one another, but what's the condition? In oneness? If they both think a up man that they both can establish they can live by who do the law, the limits set by Allah? If they think it's going to be the same fight same arguments, then they should not get married again. But it's the thing that no, we can make it work. Only then they should get married? What DeLuca? Who do the Allah and these are the limits set by Allah? You by you know how he makes it clear? Leo Komiya Allah Moon for those people who know,
to those people who have knowledge only they will benefit from these commands.
So what do we learn over here? We see that after the third divorce, the husband or the wife, they are not helpful for each other. In there is no Roger and after there is no Monica.
Unless, by chance, coincidentally, the woman she gets married again. And then her second husband divorces her or he dies, so she's single again. So she's single again. And that ex husband, the first husband, he finds out and he feels bad. And he says, okay, you know what? I'm sorry, but whatever happened that consider, but consider this again. So they think that okay, this can work out and they get married? Yes, it is allowed for them. Question? Can somebody do this deliberately?
Like, work this out somehow? So for example, the husband gave three divorces one after the other. Okay. Three divorces, three separate occasions. It happened. The final divorce happened. There it is over and now there's no way that the two could ever get back together. Now, both of them. They are not that emotional anymore. Okay. They're not that angry anymore. And now they're little children. They are standing up. Where's daddy? Where's mommy? And they both miss one another as well. And they regret over what they did or what they said.
So they go to one chef, and another chef and another chef, finding out that can we get together somehow? And everyone says them? No. Unless you know the woman she gets married to somebody and then by chance that marriage breaks apart, falls apart and then you two can get together. So they say okay,
let's find someone. Let's give him $5,000 and tell him please come to the city hall with me. Okay, and let's just get any man. And just do Annika over there only pay for marriage. And then over there. When do you give me divorce. So we signed the divorce papers and
and then I can get back together with my first husband.
This is called Ilana. People actually do that. People actually do that. But this is something that is not allowed. This is something that is not permissible in our religion at all. In fact, it's something that is forbidden.
If people do this, there's something very serious because this is marking at the commands of Allah subhanaw taala making fun of the religion of Allah.
Playing with the religion of Allah like the Bani Israel Eagle played with the religion of Allah
They went fishing when they weren't supposed to go fish. Right? They found loopholes,
using Hale tricks in the religion to get your purpose to get your objective. And if people do that in this OMA as well, it's the same thing. So this is not something that is permissible at all. It can only happen when it happens coincidentally, by chance, it happens not deliberately. Okay.
And also remember that this Nikka that takes place between the woman and her second husband.
This is not just paper marriage, this is not just a job in COBOL. No, it means that both get married to live with each other. And they both have relations with one another as well. They both have relations with one another. In a hadith we learned that the wife of referral currency she came, I still didn't on her saying she came while I and Abu Bakr were with the Prophet sallallaahu Salam. And she said, I was at a farmer's wife, but he divorced me. And it was an irrevocable divorce. He gave me now the final debate in divorce. And then I married a little man even as obeyed, but I'm not interested in him in the way he is his physical body.
So the Prophet saw a lot instead of merely smiled, and he asked her that it's as though you want to remarry refer meaning you're insulting your new husband. Because she started saying things about him that were in a way inappropriate. Okay. So the Prophet saw that autism smiled, and he said that it's as though you are interested in marrying your first husband. Right? It's as though you are interested in marrying Rivera. But he said, No, you cannot unless you experience the honey the resale of your second husband and he experiences yours meaning until you have relations with each other. Because Nika here does not just mean paper marriage, it means actual marriage. Because the
word nigger literally means sexual *. One of the literal meanings of the word Nikka is *. So over here had that done cat has ocean rider does not just mean a javelin cool, but it means actual marriage takes place. Both are living together. And then afterwards, he divorces her.
Why? Why do you think?
Why do you think this restriction is there, this law has been placed
so that people take the matter of divorce very seriously.
They take the matter of divorce very seriously, that if the third divorce is given, then Hollis, you cannot have your wife back. She is not yours anymore.
She can become somebody else's, but not yours anymore.
So be careful. And believe me, sisters, if this law was not there, many men would divorce their women very easily, one after the other very easily.
Many people when they're angry that divorce one after the other, one occasion after the other. And then within a few years, the family is broken. It's finished.
Because people don't take the consequences of divorce seriously. And when the third divorce comes, then they are worried and they're scared and they go fatwa shopping.
Going to one scholar after the other wondering if the divorce that happened was actually a real divorce or was it not a real divorce?
You know, many times it happens that people approached my parents wondering if the divorce that happened was actually real one or is it just is not going to be counted. So like, you know, they will say that well, but it was given an anger.
The divorce was given an anger. What's the response to that? Who gives divorcing? Happiness? Oh, my dear wife, you are divorced.
Human leave. I don't love you anymore. Who says that? Nobody says that. When a man gives divorce? Yes, he is angry. He is very, very mad.
But even in anger, what are we required to do control ourselves?
Think about the consequences of what you're going to say. So be wise.
So this is something very serious. And if men take this seriously, that if the third divorce is given, then she's not mine. She's he can get married to somebody else but she cannot stay with me. Then they will have some clear, you know, some protective jealousy and because of that they will control their tongues. Yes.
Can you voice over a phone call? Yes, it can happen over a phone call even over an email even over a text message even over Facebook, even over Twitter even any means of communication. If the man communicates to the wife, I divorce you. Then she is divorced. Okay, I remember somebody showed me a picture of a text message once
said Dear whoever the wife's name was I divorced you a divorce you a divorce you love so and so.
It was just a picture. I mean, somebody had made that up just for fun. But even that would count as a valid divorce. So be careful. If you ever come across that picture, make sure you tell your brother's or your husband's not to even forward that, you know, because you never know.
In a hadith we learned that once, remotely go on who he was approached concerning the case of the allele of Allah, Allah, how a man and a woman you know, they got divorced, the man gave three divorces to his wife, and though in the woman she intended to get married to somebody else, in orders, so that she could marry her former husband. So he said that if the participants are the ideal are brought to me, I will have them stoned,
or a model below or on hold the Khalifa. He said that if that woman and her second husband, who merely got married to her just so that she could get married to her former husband, if they come to me, if I find out about who they are, I'm gonna get them stoned.
This just tells us about how serious this matter is. This is not a joke. Divorce is serious.
But people threatened each other with divorce as if it were a joke.
It's a very serious matter. So this means that when two people get married, they should get married with this mindset that we are committed to each other.
We are committed to one another. You should love your husband, the husband should love his wife. And whatever deficiencies whatever faults you see, you say, Okay, nevermind. This was in my Christmas. This was in the cupboard, that Allah subhanaw taala decreed for me.
So you have to make do with what you have. Yes, you wish your husband's here was very thick. But okay, it's not. He's getting bald. Too bad. That was in your cupboard. Your husband wishes that you had long hair, but your hair doesn't seem to grow. So
okay.
The husband when he divorces the wife, he has the choice to take the wife back in there. But in the case of holer, the wife took the color. Okay. And now she regrets her decision. She wants to go back to the husband, does she have the choice she can propose to him. But it's up to him to accept or not? Because you see over here Nikka has to take place. Okay, in the case of hola the woman needs to get out of that marriage as soon as possible. because of whatever reason whether it's abuse, whatever it is, she needs to get out of that marriage.
Okay, so this means that women should also be very, very careful when seeking color. Because many women do that and they regret later. Yes.
So if the husband for announces divorce on the woman, okay. She is in her era, and the husband changes his mind. He says, Okay, no, no, I know we should get back together. So he wants to redo it. But the woman says no.
Can she say that?
Can she? No.
She cannot refuse.
She can talk to him and say that, look, you better take this seriously, man. I mean, you hurt me. Okay. You broke my heart and you punctured my heart. Okay, he did this, you did that. She can talk to him. She can set conditions you can make him realize that look, you better take this seriously, this is no joke. Okay, she can make him realize. And that's all she can do. If she does not want to be with him, then she should see cooler.
Okay, but as long as she is in the house of the husband, the husband is the one and he will have the greater right. Okay. And if the woman had the choice to say no, I don't think any woman would say yes, she would always say no, because women don't forgive easily.
If the husband gives divorce, it will be considered Talak. But if the wife seeks divorce, whether before consummating the marriage, or after contemplating the marriage, it will be considered Hola. Okay. One more thing, since the question was asked about, do you have to follow the law of the land as well? Yes, you do. Okay. As long as it does not contradict the laws of Islam. Okay. And one more thing about that, that when you're living in a particular country, and you get married the shutter you wait, please also get married the legal way. Also have your marriage certificate.
You need that? Yes, your husband said that he loves you. And you say that you love him and you don't need to go to City Hall and get your marriage registered and get a marriage certificate. Still, you have to get that for your own good for the good
Have your children, because there had been many cases where marriages have fallen apart. But the women have suffered because their marriages were not registered. You know, once this lady, she mentioned her story, her problem that she got married.
She had two children. Things weren't working well. She was angry. She left the house of her husband, she went to her parents house like it happens typically. And she took the kids with her. She was in contact, she was in touch with the husband, over the phone over email, whatever, for some time, for about a year or two. And they were trying to get things to work, but they weren't working out. He wouldn't agree over certain things. And she wouldn't agree over certain things. And then he did not contact her. She did not contact him. And now several years have gone by. She does not know what his cell phone number is. She does not know where he lives. She does not know whether he lives in this
country or somewhere else. She has no idea where he is. Is there married, registered? No.
She wants to get married to somebody else can she know?
She cannot take color. She cannot be given divorce. She cannot get her marriage. An old way the court nothing she stuck. She stuck. She can't do anything.
She can't do anything. She's stuck like that.
Unless some other serious steps can be taken. But until that can happen, she isn't a great problem.
So please, sisters take this seriously. Because many women to go it's not a big deal. I mean, yeah, my father is doing something my husband's doing something I don't know much. No, it's your marriage, your wedding. Be aware of what's happening. Yes.
Yes, she can but until she finds a Muslim court I mean she lives in this country. She's going to have to go to either somewhere else to have that marriage annulled by a Muslim court.
So please take this matter seriously recitation
be
joined
the long,
long you been following me out?
What are you there Talaq auto Nisa and when you divorce women, the husbands are being addressed the men that when you divorce the women and this divorce is the revocable one. The Mandala tan one not the final one. But the Roger one the Roger divorce when you give them divorce for Bulaga Agila Hoonah. And then when they reach there a way to term willona, bear lamb or wine Bulava to reach. So when they have reached a jeweler Hoonah what's agile, agile from the root that resembles a dream land is used for a period of time. Okay, so for example, three months, five months, two days 23 years, okay? And Agile is also used for a specific point in time. So for example, the end of three
months, the end of two years. Okay, so they reached the end of their agile what does the Agile refer to their
Agile is they're in that waiting period. So a woman is divorced and she reaches the end of her waiting period. How much is the waiting period?
Three menstrual cycles. So that term is about to end it's about to end
so Allah subhanaw taala says for an SQL would not be my rufen oh sorry, who will not be my roof quickly make up your mind oh man, um SQL Hoonah keep them from inSec memes in calf, either you keep them on move in a manner that is appropriate. And if you don't wish to do so, than somebody who Hoonah from the street scene Raha let them go, how we might rule in the manner that is appropriate.
If you want to keep them then you have to follow the rules follow what is supposed to be done and what is that establish relations and continue normal, happy life with her in a decent manner. And if you don't wish to do so, then suddenly who wouldn't have been more rude than wait until the end of the waiting period and until then do not have any relations with her at all. And once the waiting period is over, then let her go Saturday who's gonna be my roof. Now follow up the luxury one is to be given in the state
of purity, when the woman is not having her period. So again, a man cannot just say, Oh, I'm very angry. So divorce. No, it doesn't work like that the matter of divorce is not merely an emotional one. It's a very serious matter. So, a man has to use his mind, and he cannot give divorce when the woman is menstruating.
He can only pronounce divorce on her, when she is in the state of purity.
And it should be that state of purity in which sexual relations have not been established. Meaning since her last period, there was no sexual relation between the husband and the wife. If he had relations with her, then he cannot pronounce divorce, he has to wait until she will have her period and she will become pure and then he can pronounce divorce, this is the correct way the sum no way the right way of giving divorce.
Now, if people follow this, how many people do think would be divorced?
Not many.
Right? Not many people will be very careful in giving divorce, because when do people pronounced divorce in the height of anger, but we see that in the time of anger if a person reacts, then he will be hasty in making his decisions and he will regret later, he has to wait until his anger cools down until he is feeling better, he can use his mind and he can make a rational decision.
So, in the state of Tober in the state of purity, basically, the husband can pronounce divorce and then for Bologna, Angela Hana, then the waiting period begins three menstrual cycles and once the cycle ends, the third one then what does it mean? There is over but if before that, the husband had relations with her, then they continue with their married life did not take complete effect, but one chance is over.
Okay, what are dumb SQL Hoonah and do not keep them mean to not keep the women will run in order to harm them. They are Llodra the law is to cause harm to someone. What does it mean to cause harm to someone to harm another person allow blood on one elbow?
Right. So when items equal were not brought on, Lita do do not keep them in order to harm them so that you can transgress against them. So for example, the husband says if I divorce her, that means I can't take anything back. But she's not happy anyway.
So I should not divorce her. I'll wait until she takes color. When she takes color. She has to give me back everything. You understand. He is keeping her in order to harm her. What does Allah subhanaw taala say, Don't do that.
Or a person says you know what? I don't like this woman anyway. So until I can enjoy her, I'll enjoy her. She can't refuse me anyway. So I will just use her once and again and again. And then once the final divorce happened, then she can go away. But until then I will use all my three chances to divorce her.
Allah says well, atoms eco Nimrod only thought to do this does not fit a believer that he would harm another. Even if it's just to take revenge, so called Revenge. No, it doesn't refer to a believer to do that. If you want to keep them, you keep them in a manner that is approved as a husband and wife live. Don't keep them in order to torture them in order to abuse them in order to harm them. Because you say oh, what can she do? Or what can he do?
Right without some SQL who know Belarusian Licata do woman AFRL Delica and whoever does that takes the wife back into that just so that he can harm her more. Allah says fucka does love him enough so that in fact he is harming himself. He is committing injustice against himself. Because in a hadith we learn Hmong love, love, love Allah hoopy woman shell, shell Allahu alayhi that whoever harms another, Allah will harm him and whoever makes difficulty for another, Allah will make things difficult for him.
So why am I here for our Delica fucka does not have enough sir.
So many men do this, that they will not divorce the wives just so that they can take holler. And they keep abusing them. They keep harming them, they keep torturing them. They don't want to look like the bad guy to the public. So they don't divorce. They wait for the woman
to be in that desperate miserable situation where she is
forced to take Hola.
So Allah says whoever does that he is actually harming himself while at the W A Atilla he who's where? And do not take the verses of Allah in mockery? What is his word to make fun of something? Do not make fun of the verses of Allah the commands of Allah. What does it mean by this? That the commands that Allah has given Don't mock them by not following them properly by misusing them? Because when people don't follow the commands of Allah properly, then what do others? Do? They make fun of the religion of Allah don't.
Right? They say that, Oh, who gives divorce like that? Nobody does that. They make fun of the religion of Allah.
Or the woman has to holler like this.
So they make fun of the religion of Allah. And also we see that when a person is not following the rules properly, then he is mocking at them.
He is mocking at them.
doesn't even happen.
Isn't this the case? When people don't follow the rules? It's as though they are mocking that, oh, it doesn't make any sense to me. This is why I'm going to disregard it. This is why I'm going to oppose this is why I'm going to contradict it.
Allah says don't do that, while at the W IR delay, he was aware how in the case of divorce, can the verses of Allah be mocked that, first of all, by pronouncing divorce three times at one occasion, or by giving divorce to a woman who is already in her into? This is what mocking at the commands of Allah? Because remember that incident where the man pronounced divorce to his wife three times and when the Prophet salallahu Salam heard about what did he say? Is the book of Allah being played with will live amongst you played with your mocking, you're making fun of the religion of Allah.
Another interpretation of this is well at the W IR delay, who's well, that divorce, this is of the commands of the SRA that Allah subhanaw taala has revealed. This is a legal ruling that Allah has revealed.
And if a person says, Oh, I divorced you? No, no, I'm just joking.
This is mocking at the Ayat of Allah.
This is mocking at the Ayatollah Abdullah, he said, saying expressions like you are divorced, and I am joking. The person says, I divorced you not just to hurt the woman. This is what making fun of the religion of Allah.
Allah says, well at the W i, Atilla he was,
and I had to remember are of two types. I had chittery. And I had Kony I had chattery. The laws that Allah has revealed, I had counted the creation of a lot of things that Allah has created, that are signs that are evidence of his power, of His greatness, of his wisdom of his knowledge.
So for example, the sun, the moon, the rain, the clouds, the weather, all of these are what
I had. But if a person says,
did it have to rain right now?
If he says, The sun has to be like this, the moon has to be like this. And if people start making fun of each other's bodies, then that is also what mocking at the Ayat of Allah.
Just last night, somebody forwarded me an email about this young woman
who has a very rare disorder in which her body it cannot have any fat. Okay, so she has 0% body fat 0% body fat, so you know how, when you have cheeks, right, and you have a chin, some people have double chin, right? You have fat on your arms, you have muscle, you have fat all over your body. She doesn't have any of that. She weighs 60 pounds and her entire life. She's never weighed more than 62 pounds. So she's basically like a skeleton covered with skin.
She has to eat every 1520 minutes to get energy her body cannot store any energy.
It's a very rare disorder. And when I found out about that, I thought this is a miracle.
This is a miracle. This is of the Ayat of Allah, that Allah can create a person like this even when this girl was born. Her parents had to find clothes from toy stores to put on her because even preemie clothes would not fit her. She was that tiny she weighed only two pounds when she was born.
But she is now 20 plus years old.
In fact, she's a motivational speaker.
This is an idea of Allah. But people have made videos and they have dedicated websites to make fun of her to make fun of her body. To say that you should kill yourself. You're the ugliest
A woman.
They make fun of her.
And she's going around talking to young people, giving inspirational talks, motivational talks, telling them how to stand up against bullying and so on and so forth. This is of the Ayat of Allah. But what do people do they continue to mock they continue to make fun.
Somebody has a nose that you find funny you find different you find strange and you start making fun of that.
Somebody has hair that you think are different. So you start making fun of that. their height, their hands, their feet, their nails, their eyes, their eyebrows, whatever is anything spirit there is anything left after that people make fun of anything and everything and they're making fun of what I asked of Allah.
Why do our eyes have to be like this? Why is it that in our lives this has to happen? Why do we have to eat in the start making fun of every little thing Allah says, well, at the W ir de la yahooza.
Don't make fun of the Ayat of Allah.
women develop eating disorders, they develop serious psychological problems because of their body fat. But even that is a blessing. Even that is a neuroma.
So when talking to I Atilla who's aware, whether sugary or Kony, don't make fun of the commands that Allah has given with guru near medulla here Alikum. And instead remember the blessing of Allah upon you, which blessing
all of them at the time of divorce. People forget what all the good things that they have enjoyed. What did they remember all the bad things? Allah says with Kuru, near medulla,
whenever a husband and wife are having a hard time, a difficult time, the only thing they think of is divorce. And they forget all the good things that they have enjoyed.
The many years they have spent together, the many things they have enjoyed together. Allah says word Kuru, near mutt Allah, Allah gave you the blessing of a spouse, Allah gave you the blessing of wealth, Allah gave you the blessing of happiness, freedom, luxury, you could travel with your husband, you could do so many things with your husband, you forgotten all about that. And all you can think of is that he just doesn't remember you that often. He doesn't send you text messages that often.
Is that all you can remember? What guru near but Allah, remember the blessings of Allah Aleykum and especially which blessing the blessing of the deen the blessing of Islam the blessing of guidance, that okay, your husband is not the perfect man but at least he's a good human being at least he is a righteous servant of Allah. Be grateful for the fact that he goes to the masjid. He's not a womanizer. He doesn't do haram be grateful for the blessing of the deen.
And then you'll be able to tolerate the difficulties as well. What Guru netmeds Allah here Aleikum, woman nzlr alaykum and also remember what Allah has sent down upon you mean al Kitab of the book will Hikmah and the wisdom the book meaning the Quran, the wisdom as in the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam.
Remember them, meaning follow them, observe them, because they are great blessings of Allah. Without them, you would be in clear misguidance URI Lacombe, Allah instructs you with it he admonishes you with a very low from the left as well arranged law world to admonish to advice so Allah advises you with it with what the Quran with what he has revealed. What the Kola and fear Allah who are in Mo and Allah be conditioned in earnest and know that Allah is Knowing of everything. He knows about your circumstances, he knows whether the husband that you don't like is really a good man or not. He knows about the bias that you have the ingratitude that you may have, the suffering that you have,
Allah knows and Allah be conditioned in early. So Allah knows about everything, asked for help from wool, Allah subhanaw taala many times when it comes to marital problems, people go towards their families and they go towards marriage counselors, yes, you should seek help.
But they forget to seek help from Allah subhanaw taala who knows the situation better than anyone else? You know, your parents don't know your situation completely. The marriage counselor does not know your situation completely. Who knows your situation completely Allah. So don't forget to seek help from him. Whenever you have any marital problem, turn to Allah ask him for help. Ask Him for guidance because Allah can even change the hearts of people. And we cannot do that.
If Allah wants he can create love and affection in the heart of your husband for you. But no marriage counselor can do that. No parent can do that. No great uncle
I can do that. So seek help from Allah.
Let's listen to the recitation.
Well either one or two
people
move in
one
one ASR
one
was
a long
long
longer be
gnarly. So one lesson that we all can take is that
we should all stop commenting on the Ayat of Allah. Unnecessary commentary.
That when it comes to weather, when we're stepping out and it starts to rain, don't say it had to rain now.
Don't say, yeah, it had to be sunny now, you know.
And then the everybody has a good laugh.
That had to snow now when I don't have my winter boots with me.
So please, let's stop doing that. Because this is not right. Whatever happens, whether it's in the sky or the Earth, it happens by the decision of Allah subhanaw taala. So we have no right to object to that.
We were learning about divorce. And what the procedure of divorces when a man may pronounce divorce to his wife, what the consequences of that are? And in which case, can a woman seek divorce? And how that procedure is, when a man gives divorce? What is that called?
What is that called? Find out? How many chances does he have
to the third is final. When he pronounces a third one, that's it. They can never be together again, unless what happens by chance she marries somebody else, and that marriage breaks off. So then she may marry her former husband, her previous husband. And if the woman seeks divorce, what is that called? Color? Can a woman just seek divorce just like that?
When can she seek divorce, when there is a genuine, real reason where she feels that this is not going to work out. Because I cannot give the hook of my husband, this marriage is not going to work out. So in that case, he's going to seek divorce and that is called cooler.
Now,
imagine that a man pronounces divorce to his wife, and that is the first or the second divorce. So that means that is which divorce, follow up on luxury, the revocable divorce.
And during the ADA, they don't get together. So what's going to happen?
What's going to happen?
It's finished, right? The three menstrual cycles she spent in the house of the husband, there was no getting together. So now she's going to go away. That marriage is completely finished. She's gone, right. But this was the revocable divorce, let's say after a year, after a year, the man she starts to miss his wife. Now reality hits him when he has to do the laundry himself. And he has to cook himself. And he misses his kids and he misses his wife, before he was thinking, You know what, I can live on my own. I'm happier like this, I'll find somebody else. But he doesn't find anybody else either. Or he realizes that what he did was wrong.
So now he wants to get back with his previous wife, can He? Is there a possibility? There is a possibility, but what's the procedure? He has to propose her? And then Annika has to happen? Let's say he proposes her.
And even she feels that yes, we should get back together. But the father is like never, never ever. He insulted me. He insulted my daughter, he kicked you out. You're never going back again until I'm alive.
Or the brother steps in he's like, this is never gonna happen. You're never getting back together.
So does she have any choice over there? Can she do anything? Is the father or the brother allowed to prevent that marriage from happening? Are they What's the case over here? What should be done in that situation? Because this happens many times. You know, people when they're emotional in their anger and their frustration, they pronounced divorce and then later on, they regret that decision. So what should be done in that case? Allah subhanaw taala says
When either for luck to Manisa and when you divorce the women been locked down from Fallout, meaning the men are being addressed over here that when you divorce the women Ferber Ilona Angela Hoonah Ferber Lagna from bear lamb Wayne Bella what reach and the noon overhears for feminine plural. So they have reached a jello Hoonah their agenda? What is a job? What is a job, a period of time or a specific point in time? And what is this agenda referring to there is because there is a specific period of time, three menstrual cycles, right, or a gel is also a specific point in time. So it's referring to the end of their atleta there it is supposed to end on the 25th of January, for
example.
So now Fabella gonna Angela Honda there is over when there is over, and the man and the woman did not get together during that. Now what both are separated now they're both non Muharram to one another. Correct. So now she's going to leave the house of the husband.
But then after some time, they want to get back together.
So Allah subhanaw taala addresses the family of the woman, the Wali, the guardian of the woman, whether it is her father or her uncle, her grandfather, her brother, whoever, Allah dresses them, that fella that Bulu Hoonah that do not prevent them that are Gulu Hoonah. I'm Lord lamb. And our Allah Allah is to prevent someone from doing something in a very harsh manner, to not allow them to do something at all. Like no questions asked no discussion, nothing. That's it for submission, you're not allowed at all. So Allah tells the guardians that oh, you Guardians, you should not prevent Hoonah them meaning the women who are under your care who have been divorced by their
husbands, a and Kana that they marry from Nikka, who do they marry as well, Jehovah their husbands, meaning their previous husbands, their former husbands, and as well as the plural of zilch.
So if after there is the woman under your care, she wants to remarry her previous husband, then you don't prevent her. You don't prevent her. But there should be one thing that should be considered that event although Boehner home when that although both of them mutually agree Boehner home between themselves how Bill Maher off in the manner that is appropriate in the manner that is approved that although from through letters are on board, yeah, Robbia to be happy that although to see the lf it shows that there are two parties involved. Okay, so both mutually agree with one another, who does both refer to the man and the woman, the woman and her ex husband, who wants to get back together
again.
So when they mutually agree bainham between themselves been married wolf in the manner that is appropriate, meaning that they intend to get married, and they intend to fix things, and they intend to live a better life compared to how they were living before. Meaning there is an agreement between them that yes, we will not fight the way we used to, we will not argue the way we used to, we will not commit injustice against one another the way we used to, because there's always a reason why divorce takes place. Right? Either the woman is not being treated in a fair manner, or the husband is not being given his rights.
So whatever the problems were, they're solved between the two of them. If that is the case, then let them get back together, that they both are willing to live with each other in a manner that is appropriate.
But if, for example, the problem the reason behind the divorce was that let's say the husband did not like the fact that the woman was working in a particular place. For example, you know, from that many arguments happened, and both of them drifted away from each other. And it created a lot of problems for them. But if still at that time, the woman says no, I am going to continue to work here. Sorry, I'm not going to compromise. I am going to work here. So then if they get back together, what's going to happen?
Same fights are going to start all over again. Right? If let's say the reason of the divorce was that the woman was saying that please, let's not live in this house. Let's not live in this setting. Let's move away from here for whatever reason.
Then, let's say that he was living in a city where there for example, no relatives, no acquaintances, nothing and she says this is too difficult for me. I can't live like this in a place where I can't drive. I don't have anybody to meet with. This is very difficult for me. So from that the problems began and if he says no, you're going to come to me, you come here, I'm not moving from here, then what's going to happen? Same
problems again. Correct.
So this is not going to be living with Maroof both have to come to an agreement that yes, we're going to fix the things and this is how we're going to live. If both are happy with that, then let the women marry otherwise don't because what's the point of sending the woman back into the same problem? What's the point of doing that? It's not going to make any sense.
So either Torrado Boehner home Vilma roof
in a hadith we learn that market, even ESL a companion of the Prophet salatu salam, he gave his sister in marriage to a Muslim men.
And what happened she remained with her husband for some time. And then he divorced her. He divorced her. And that was over and she went back to a parent's home.
So Mark, they will her brother, he was very upset that, you know, this man he asked for my sister's hand in marriage. He kept it for some time and he divorced her and you sent her back. He was very hurt, very upset. And this is very normal. He was upset.
But then after sometime, both of them, the woman and her ex husband, they wanted to get back together. So that man he came to Markel, and he proposed, he said, Please, I would like to marry your sister again. So he was very upset. He said, Oh, ungrateful one. Or you ungrateful person. I honored you and married her to you, but you divorced her.
Look at you, you're so ungrateful. You're so bad. I gave my sister to you. And you divorced her by Allah, she will never be returned to you. I will never allow her to go back to you. Because I don't want to be insulted like this again. I don't want that my sister. You know, she's not valued.
So then, Allah subhanaw taala. He knew that both of them wanted to get back together. I mean, yes, the wife can forgive. Right? The wife can let go of many things. So can the husband for other people they get upset, right? The family members they get upset. So then Allah subhanaw taala reveal this verse. And when this verse was revealed, marketing, live and ESL. He said, I hear and obey My lord, somewhere in Europe be Ouattara that oh my lord, I hear and iob because Allah said, filata Aluna, don't prevent them. And then he let her sister get married to her ex husband.
And this is a great lesson, that many times in these situations, what happens? Our ego comes in,
alright of the Father, of the mother of the relatives, and they say that, no, we cannot let this happen. They sent our daughter back, we are not going to give our daughter to them again. But if the woman wants to get married, if your daughter wants to get married to her ex husband, then don't prevent her. You know why? Because the divorced woman has more. You can say right? She has more autonomy when it comes to her marriage. When it comes to a virgin, meaning a girl who has never been married before, when it comes to her marriage, then who has the authority her Wali, correct her well he has the authority. But it doesn't mean that he will just get her married without even her
consent. No. But the Wali has the authority meaning the Wali if he does not agree, then that marriage cannot happen.
But when it comes to a woman who was previously married, whether she's a widow or divorcee, then in that case who has more authority, that woman she decides if she wants to get married or not and her wali has to comply. Do you understand her wali has to comply, her guardians have to comply it is her decision. It doesn't mean that she can go and get married herself. No, she still needs the Wali but the Wali will listen to her because her case is different. She knows about her situation better than her Wali, she may have children. And for the sake of her children, she might want to get back with that same husband, and even if things are not picture perfect, but she knows that her children still
need the father. Even if she doesn't get along with the Father. Her children need the Father. So yes, she's willing to compromise, but her family may not be willing to compromise. Right?
So she has more experience, she knows what's in the best interest of her children. So this is why she has been given more authority.
In a hadith we learn the Prophet sallallahu sallam said that a matron meaning the woman who has been previously married, she should not be given in marriage except after consulting her and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission.
So the people asked that how will we seek permission from a virgin girl meaning a younger, what does she know? Many times people ask her, but she wants anything. She's too shy.
And you might say that no doesn't happen now, but it used to happen before and it still happens in some societies in some cultures. So the Prophet sallallahu sallam said that her silence indicates her permission, meaning if she doesn't object, if she's like smiling in a shy manner, that means she's okay with it. But if she says, No, I don't want to, I don't think this is going to work, then you have to agree with her.
So over here, we see the beautiful teachings of our religion, that when a woman wants to get back together with her previous husband, that her family should not prevent her.
In fact, they should allow for that marriage to take place they should allow for that union to take place. They should cooperate with them. Yes.
Exactly. This is where the first and the second divorce the revocable one, when it comes to the final divorce, then we know that both cannot get back together unless, you know, she gets married to somebody else. And so, and even in that case, it could happen, that she gets married to somebody else, and then divorce or that man dies. And now she wants to get back together with that same first husband. So in that case, again, she should not be prevented.
So anyway, either Torrado Boehner home, Wilma roof, there's another way that this verse has been interpreted. And what is that? That filata or gooloo Natera. Lulu, you all do not prevent. This is not being addressed to the guardians of the woman, but it's referring to the ex husband, the first husband,
okay, that you, former husband, you ex husband, don't prevent her from getting married to somebody else, that you say if she can't be married to me, she can't be married to anyone else.
Because sometimes it may happen, that a man and woman they got married the man he divorced the woman. And now he doesn't want that she should be married to anyone. So if he finds out that, for example, a particular individual is proposing to her, he goes, and he talks to me says don't get married to her at all. She's the worst woman that you could ever get married to. And he doesn't let that marriage happen.
Sometimes it's not the man But who is it? It's the family. They want to take revenge. They want to create misery and problems for the girl and her family. So they don't let that girl get married to anyone at all. And sometimes people, they stoop to the worst ways, and what is that, that sometimes they will use black magic and things like that, to literally ruin the life of that woman and her family.
Sometimes, what people do, and this, unfortunately, is very common amongst Muslim countries. And this is a generally an ignorant practice, which is a practice of a justice, that what people do is that they go into the house of that woman and they will throw acid on her face so that her face gets completely disfigured and no one will even consider to marry her. And this is not something that is very rare. No, it happens. It happens that the ex husband, his family, he prevents her from getting married to anyone else. Allah tells the people fill out that blue Hoonah don't prevent them
from getting married. Don't inflict so much injustice and harm on her and her family. Why would you do so? So what if you could not get along with her? Okay, your matter is over a divorce has taken place you go your way. Let her go her way you live your life let her live her life.
And this is such a big problem amongst unfortunately Muslims. You look at Western societies. It's not a problem at all two people were married. Now they're divorced. Each will go their own way they will get married and when their children getting married, both will come in. Haven't you heard of such stories? They're so common. A boy and a girl are getting married and the boy's parents he will say that my parents are separated but their spouses will also come
and there is no problem. There is no awkwardness. They accept it.
So we should also accept it that yes, the marriage took place in the past but now it's over. And both are happy the way they are right now. Yes.
Yes, she can. So for example, a woman she's divorced by her husband, only one divorce. Okay. It was a first divorce. There is the she spent in the house of the husband. They did not get together. So now her ID that is over. Both are non Muslim. She will go her own way she will go to her family's house when she's there. Can she get married to somebody else she can. She has the freedom to do so. But people think she should not have the freedom
them, but Allah has given us freedom and we are no one to take that freedom away.
So Allah says filata are blue one, a and Ghana as well Jonah, either Torrado Boehner home, Bill my roof,
there Lika you are will be he that you are will be he is admonished by your although from well or in law worlds. And what does that mean? admonition advice instruction. So this instruction, this advice is being given to mankind I mean, come to the one men come have you, you may know Billa he will yo Milliken who believes in Allah and the Last Day, meaning the one who believes in Allah and the Last Day he is being given this instruction, what instruction
that don't prevent them from getting married to their ex husbands. And if you are the ex husband, then don't prevent her from getting married to somebody else who would accept this instruction, who will accept this command.
The one who truly believes in Allah and the Last Day which means that if a person prevents the woman from getting married, then there's a problem with his there is a problem with his Eman. His Eman is weak.
Because his ego is preventing him
his ego is not letting him give somebody the right
his ego is making him commit injustice
valleca You are will be humankind. I mean commute middle Billahi while yo mill and Allah says Valley come as gala como oppa have that a combat or you all it is as gonna come with alcohol, it is pure for you cleaner for you, as God from the root letter ze KEF Yeah, from the word test gear, what is the skill purification towards the cat is also from the same root
and alcohol from the hara, forehead, auto cleanliness. So this is much purer, much better, much cleaner for you much more honorable for you what? To let the woman and her ex husband get back together or to let a woman get married to somebody else.
Allah says it is cleaner. How is it cleaner? How is it more purifying? Notice the word Asker and alcohol both give the meaning of purification. But there is a difference in the test gear as it says though, it's referring to spiritual cleanliness. Because when you allow for such a marriage to take place, then what are you sacrificing your ego? Isn't it? Isn't that a source of spiritual cleanliness? purification of the soul? Isn't it? Because sometimes you don't want something to happen because you feel that it's humiliation for you. It's degradation for you. You are being insulted. If you let your daughter go to her ex husband, but what does Allah say it will purify you
more. You will sacrifice your ego here you will be able to sacrifice your ego elsewhere at another time as well.
So it is pure for your soul. Well, alcohol and it is cleaner, meaning it is much better that the to get married. Because if you force a woman to live a single life, or a man to live a single life, is it fair for them? Is it cleaner for them? No.
Especially in this day and age. Even if a woman is divorced, it doesn't mean that she can never get married again. No, she has the right to remarry. She has the right to get married again. It's much cleaner for her for her thoughts for her heart for her private parts. Because there are so many chances so many ways of committing haram these days. We went Haram is accessible anywhere in everywhere.
You know we have made marriage so difficult, so difficult, that people find it easier to commit haram than commit halal.
So Allah says it is pure.
People think it is a source of humiliation for them if they get married to a divorced woman. This is not humiliation. It is pure for her it is better for her. Likewise if there was a man who was divorced who has divorced his wife, now he wants to get married and people think oh no way. Never at all. There is no harm in that it is up ha
doesn't mean that if he got divorced, he's an evil person. He's not an evil person necessarily. His marriage just did not work out and like we discussed earlier that divorce does not happen. Just because the two people are evil. No two good people can also not get well along with each other.
So the Alikum as Calico will have to have will Allah Who year Allah Musa anthem letter Allah moon and ALLAH knows and you do not know me, Allah knows the benefits and you don't know the benefits.
Allah knows the good that might come about in the future, and you'll know about what might happen in the future.
You think that if the woman wants to get married to a particular man, she's already
for disaster, she's heading for trouble. Or if she wants to get back with her ex husband, She's ruining her life. But Allah says I know you don't know
it's quite possible that because of their sacrifice their patients Allah subhanaw taala will reward them with happiness will reward them with a blessed union.
So Allahu Yarnell
let's listen to the recitation
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okay, one is Pollock that is the right way the most fluid way of giving solid meaning that will just start approved by the Sunnah. And the other is victory for luck meaning that which is has some bidder and hit okay. So
it doesn't mean that if a person gives divorce to the wife, when she is having her period, that divorce will not take effect No, it will take effect. But in doing that the man has disobeyed Allah so He will be sinful for doing that. Okay. You understand? So,
there are certain rules that a person has to follow when giving divorce. If he doesn't follow the procedure properly, it doesn't mean that divorce will not take place it will. But he will be sinful for disobeying the commands of Allah for mocking at the rules that Allah has given. Because these rules Allah did not reveal so we disobeyed them. Allah revealed these rules so that we follow them and if we don't follow them, we are mocking at them. And it doesn't fit a believer to do that at all.