Channel: Taimiyyah Zubair
At-Tahrim 1-12 Tafsir 6
Let him initiate oncology Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim. So number 290 similar to Tallinn will begin from ID number six.
Yeah, you have Medina amanu. Oh, you will have believed. Oh and full circle what a helical nowra protect yourselves Save yourselves and your families also from a fire, which fires this that you should protect yourself and your families from will call to her NASA Well, hey, Jada, whose fuel is people and stones. It's not an ordinary fire, but rather, it's an extremely fierce fire. And how fierce is it? That it's fuel are men and stones. And on top of that, are they hermana ecodan liloan, Cheetah Dune, appointed on it are angels who are harsh and severe, so harsh and severe that they have no mercy for those who are in the hellfire. And on top of that layer, asuna lahoma amerihome
they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them with our Luna Maroon, and they do whatever they are commanded.
In this ayah Allah subhanaw taala is addressing all of the believers. Yeah, au Han Latina Ave. And what is he telling us? Boo and forsaken? Save yourselves, but not just yourself but also your family's? from what? From fire? Which fire is this? The fire of the hereafter not of dunya and this fire is very different it's extremely fierce how that will go do how NASA will hedge our workload is that which keeps fire burning, while code is few that which is used to ignite the fire and also keep the fire burning. So in other words, as long as men and stones are in this fire, this fire is constantly burning. And what do we learn that people will be in the fire for how long? Highly Dena
Fie her brother. So this fire also will be burning eternally. We'll go to her NASA well hey, Jarrod.
However, this fire is extremely hard. Unlike the fire of this world.
The fire of this world What is it ignited by what is it fueled by wood, gas, or petroleum or something like that. But the fire of hell is ignited by people and stones. Which people those who deserve to be in Hellfire and which stones Some have said that it refers to in particular the idols that the people used to worship. So even they will be the fuel of the fire. In nicoma, de buena hustle boo Johanna you and that which you worship are the hustle of jahannam the fuel of the fire into the bucket also Allah tells us further canal allottee worku her NASA alhaja fear the fire hose few are men and stones
and are lay hemella ecotone. upon it are angels meaning put in charge of this fire are who angels. Just like if there is a prison, there is a torture house, there are those who are appointed as in charge over there. So who is in charge of this Hellfire? It is angels. But these angels the keepers of Hellfire the husband are to jahannam and how many are they 19 in number are they had this at our shop as stated in sort of them with death it? These angels are very different. Generally when we think about angels, what do we think? Those who are very good, very compassionate. Similarly, if there is a person who is very kind, very soft, people compare him with what with an angel. But we
see that these angels are of a very different nature, just as the angels who come to take the soul of a person at the time of his death, a disbelieving person, a disobedient person, what kind of angels are they extremely harsh and full circle? Take out yourselves. And the angels beat those people up at the time of death. Similarly in the grave, the angels who come to question the person, how are they as well, very harsh in their nature. And those angels who are appointed over Hellfire, much more severe and harsh to words are mentioned over here to describe them first of all enough, and secondly, she that the love is the plural of lilies. And Elise is that which is very solid Duff
and when it's used to describe the personality of a person it means someone who was very harsh and severe in their manner.
So these angels are very harsh and severe, with the sternness of the heart, merciless towards those who are in it.
will have no mercy, no compassion for those who are in the fire. Don't we learn in the Quran that the people of Hellfire will request that Dr. Malik Lee, aka Dr. Elena book, that, or Malik or keeper of hell, the angel, people will call out to Him and they will say that your Lord should put an end to us, meaning make the offer us that this should come to an end, we should be terminated. But what will the angels reply in nicomachea zone you are remaining in here, you're abiding in here. Just think about it. If you see someone in pain in difficulty, and they request you for help, don't you want to help them? If you cannot help them, at least you apologize, you say I'm sorry, I cannot help
you. I feel bad for you. However, I cannot help you. But these angels are very different. They have no mercy, no compassion for those who are in hellfire. And on top of that, she dad she dad is a Florida shady and what is should he that which is very firm, that which is very severe, that which is very difficult. And over here should each dad refers to in physical might, in physical might. They are very, very powerful, very strong. So the last shows how severe they are in their manner. And she that shows how mighty they are in their power of assault. Because these angels are also appointed to torture the people of hellfire. And these angels layer soon Allahumma amerihome they do
not disobey Allah in that which he commands them. If Allah has commanded them, to punish the people of Hellfire, they will do it wherever Luna may model and they do exactly what they're commanded. They do not exceed. And they do not fall short either. They do exactly what they're commanded. And they do it right away without any delay. In this ayah Allah is telling us to save ourselves from the fire.
If you think about it, every single person protects themselves and their families from fire, but which fires it, fire of this dunya the heat of this dunya the cold of this dunya we check the weather every day. Why? To make sure that if it is extremely cold, if it is rainy, if it's going to snow, if the roads are going to become icy, we are prepared from before we do not suffer any harm. We don't suffer, our children don't suffer, our families don't suffer
similarly in the summer is that there's a heat alert how conscious people become if it's extremely Sunny, we don't forget the sunscreen, isn't it? So
the weather becomes a huge topic of discussion almost every morning, people are yelling out to one another make sure you dress properly. Make sure you get your winter jacket, make sure you wear your rain jacket, make sure you have the right shoes on winter hasn't even begun many times and what happens, people are already prepared for it. Why? Because we want the best for ourselves, and we want the best for our families as well.
But if you think about it, the fire of the hereafter and the fire of this dunya is there any comparison between the two? No? The torture the harm the suffering the pain of the Hereafter, and that of the dunya? Is there any comparison between the two? There is no comparison.
The fire of this dunya What does Allah subhanaw taala say with regards to it, that we have made it as a death killer, just as a reminder, meaning this only reminds us this is only a hint of what that fire of Hellfire actually is. The intensity of the fire of this dunya is only a hint is only a fraction. It only tells us about what that fire is. So there is no comparison between the fire the Zuni and the fire of the hereafter. But we are so much concerned about protecting ourselves. But what about protecting ourselves from the fire of the
Allies telling us save yourself and your families from that fire? Because that fire is not ordinary? That fire? On top of that are who such guards who don't have any mercy for the inmates of Hellfire who don't show any compassion? Who don't feel a thing for those who are suffering in hellfire. For those who are being constantly punished, constantly tortured, they have no mercy for them. In this dunya what happens? prison guards. What do they do? They're not honest every time isn't it?
They're not honest all the time. They're not honest in their duty in exchange for a bribe. They will let things in and they will let things out and sometimes they will even help a person escape. Isn't it Oh, but we see that in the hereafter. This cannot happen. No bribes can
be offered. No relief can come in, no person can escape and the guards of Hellfire, they will not let its inmates out at all.
They will have no mercy on the inmates of hellfire. They will not leave them, they will not spare them thinking they've had a lot. No. This is why a person in Hellfire lay ammo to free her. When I hear, he will not be able to live, nor will he able to die. Because the guards of Hellfire, they show no mercy. They never disobey Allah in any matter. And this is a characteristic of the angels, that they do not disobey Allah at all. In total, ambia and 19. We learn women are in the Himalayas, docviewer Luna and Reba that he when is the rune that those angels who are with him near him, they are not prevented by arrogance from his worship, nor do they tire meaning they're always constantly
If you think about it, over here, what are we being told that don't just be concerned about your Eman, your salvation, but also be concerned about your families.
Generally what happens when a person comes to learn about the deen when a person gets to learn the Quran, he becomes very concerned about himself. His greatest concern is to protect himself from the Hellfire to protect himself from the punishment from the anger of Allah soprano.
But we see that over here, a lot is telling us don't just be concerned about yourself, but also be concerned about your families. And the word illegal. Includes one's children includes one's wife, husband, spouse, and it also includes one's closest relatives, closest relatives, especially those whom a person is living with.
So don't just be concerned about your Salah, also be concerned about their signer. Don't just be concerned about speaking carefully yourself, be concerned about their language as well. Don't just be concerned about your time, but also be concerned about their time.
Because many times it happens that when a person gains knowledge, and he starts implementing it, he begins to look down on other people, isn't it? That look, I am so much better. I am being so productive. I am doing so much Oh, by the end, look at these people, they're wasting their time. No, instead of looking down at them, save them as well. If you're concerned about saving yourself, be concerned about saving them as well. So what you have learned, share with them, teach them this is why we see that the sell off. They would say that coup enforcer como alikum. Narrow saving yourself and your family's from the fire saving your family's means that alemu home was a de boom, teach them
instruct them. Your responsibility as a parent, as a father as a mother, as a guardian is not just to feed your children is not just to feed your families and clothe them and make sure they have their winter gear and their summer gear. No, your responsibility is also to teach them. Your responsibility is also to instruct them to make sure they are following the deen when I land in with the Pina eema make us a leader for them with their pain. How will that happen just like that? No. When you have taught them, when you have shown them when you have instructed them? How is it possible that you are learning you are concerned about yourself and your children don't know, your
own husband doesn't know your own sisters don't know this is incorrect. If you're concerned about yourself, be very concerned about them as well.
Similarly, we see that in this order, we have learned that the theme is that out of love for someone, a person cannot disobey Allah.
We see that sometimes out of love for family members out of love for one's children out of love for one spouse, what does a person do? A person allows them to do certain things, which are perhaps wrong or which are a waste of time, which take a person closer to Hellfire then to gender. But why is it that a person allows them to do it? Because he doesn't have the heart to say no to them. He doesn't want to see them upset. He doesn't want to make them feel bad. This is why he lets them do whatever they want to do. But is it saving them from the Hellfire? No, this is allowing them to go there. If you truly love them, if you truly care about them, then your love should drive you to
protecting them from Hellfire, not allowing them to go to hellfire.
Sometimes it happens that children beg for certain things they want to do certain things and parents they allow them just out of
Love for them. But this is not great. This is not great, because you are responsible for saving yourself, and also saving your families. If you would not watch something yourself, how can you allow your children to watch it? If you would not go somewhere yourself? Why would you let your children go there? This Think about it. Why would you cooperate with them? Sometimes it happens, that it's beyond your control, you cannot stop them, isn't it? Sometimes it happens that perhaps it's your husband, you can tell him, but you cannot stop him.
So in this case, why do you cooperate with them? Until when will you let them do this?
You know, it happens sometimes that a husband and wife when they have an issue, a difference of opinion, they will compromise for some time. But then the wife reaches a limit. And she talks to him seriously that look, I cannot handle this anymore. I cannot tolerate this anymore. You better do this, you better vacuum, I cannot do it every time for example, she will tolerate it up to a certain extent. And after that she will not do it.
Similarly, why is it that when it comes to the matters of the taping so easily? We say it doesn't matter? It's their choice? I'm not responsible. I've told them once or twice? No, don't cooperate with them. Talk to them seriously. Think about it. You won't go there yourself. Why would you let your husband go?
You wouldn't do it yourself. Why would you let your husband do it? Go and full circle, legal narrow.
If you can beg to him, Do not do certain things that you don't like, Why can you not back to him to stop doing certain things that are not is not like, think about it. Sometimes it's out of love, that we don't stop the other person. But we see that true love is what? That you stop them you protect them from Hellfire, cool, and full circle, legal narrow.
Similarly, we see that in the previous soda, we learned about divorce.
In the case of divorce, what happens? One of the parents, they take custody of the children, the children are with them. And the other parent, what happens to them, they completely neglect the children. This is what is seen typically, that they completely neglect the children, they have no idea where their children are being raised up. Sometimes they don't even have an idea about what the name of the child is, what school he is going to who is raising him up in what religion what's going on. So many times we find out about people whose fathers were Muslim, isn't it, but they were raised as Christian. Why? Because the father left the child when he was very young, and he never
participated in his upbringing.
But think about it, we have to be concerned about our children about our progeny.
If we are living as Muslims, then should we not ensure that our children are also living as Muslims? If we know who Allah is, should they not know? If we know the day of judgment is coming? Should they not know? If we fast in the month of Ramadan? Should they not be doing that as well? Yes. How is it possible that your own children don't know their religion don't know who Allah is. Just because you don't get along with the other parent doesn't mean that your children's Deen should be compromised.
Because sometimes we see that when parents when a husband and wife have conflict, then who gets neglected, children get neglected. They are so busy arguing with one another taking revenge from one another, that they don't care whether the children have prayed. They don't care whether they got up for fudger or not, isn't at all. So don't get lost in your own problems so much that you forget to save your children.
Many times it happens that people who are far from Dean, what's the reason behind that? It's because their parents were lost in their own business. They were lost in their own problems. They never had time for their children, isn't it? This is why they're called on reading was compromised. This is why they're solid. They never learned isn't at all. Why? Because the parents were lost in their own lives. They were engrossed busy with their own problems. But what is Allah tell us over here, you are not just responsible for yourself. You are also responsible for who? For your families, for your spouses, for your children, for your loved ones. Don't just be concerned about feeding them and
educating them with regards to dounia be concerned about their ohana as well. Because if they're not okay, where do they end up in Hellfire? That's not a place to go. Think about it. This fire it's few are people it's few are stones and the angels who are appointed they have no mercy. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam told his own daughter Fatima that ask me whatever you want demand from me whatever you want, but I cannot help you in the hereafter. I cannot save you
From the punishment of Allah, why did he say that to her, so that she is worried about herself as well. And so that he would teacher as well. So it's our responsibility as family members that we must be concerned about the proper upbringing of one another, the Dean of each other, don't just be concerned about yourself, be concerned for your family members as well.
Because at this point, when a person is, you know, has been learning to do implementing the dean, he feels distant sometimes from family members.
For example, you may feel distant from your own husband as well, that, for instance, the interest that you have, he probably doesn't have, or you may feel distance from your own parents, the interest that they have, you don't have them anymore, isn't it so. But at this point, don't become selfish. Don't be concerned about yourself only be concerned for them as well. If you don't want to go to Hellfire, you don't want them to go to Hellfire either. If you want to go to general, you want them to go to general as well. And it cannot happen just by wishes. It will happen when you actually do something. This is why Allah says boo, save, meaning do something to save yourself, and do
something to save your families.
And we see that were It is the responsibility of a person to save his family, to save his children to save his wife. It is the responsibility of every individual as well to save themselves.
Because what does Allah say over here, who and full circle? What alikum because sometimes it happens that a person is doing his best to teach his children. But the children, they grow up, and at the end, they do whatever they feel like, isn't it? So just the other day somebody was telling me about someone who would drive their sons to the masjid every day, so that they get a habit of going to the masjid. But unfortunately, their children don't pray even. Hardly they pray now. Is it that the Father neglected, left anything out in training them and teaching them? No, he did his best? Is it easy to drive your children to the machine every single day, putting them in car seats, taking them
out, buckling them in, taking them going in the snow going in winter going in the summer, after work? It's not easy, but a person does his best. But still, if children, for example, don't take responsibility for themselves, then the Father, the mother, they are not responsible, as long as you have done your part.
So we see that where it's the responsibility of the parents to protect the children. It's the responsibility of the children as well, to protect themselves. Each person is responsible for himself first go and forsaken, worldly come narrow.
And then we also see that a loss of personal data tells us to protect ourselves first, go on full circle alikum. Sometimes people do this, that they will not pay themselves, but they will tell their children to pray. They will not rely on themselves, but they will encourage their children to do that. Correct. This is sometimes very common amongst people. But this is not the right way. If you don't save yourself, then how can you save the other person in the airplane? What did they tell you that in case of loss of oxygen, put the mask on yourself and then help the children and the elderly those people who need help. Why? Because if you're helping the other person, and in that you don't
get enough oxygen, then you will pass up, they will also pass them in that process, due lives will be lost. So save yourself first, and then you save the other.
And also, if you think about it, if you keep telling the other person do this, do this, do this and you don't do it yourself. What kind of example are you
many times you save the other person how, by your own example, if you do something yourself, they will follow you. If you don't turn the television on, even they will not turn it on. For example, if you don't go to the movies, even they will not go to the movies. But if you go there will they not go Of course they will go. So if you save yourself, then you will be able to save other people as well. Protect yourself, then you'll be able to protect them.
And no person can say it's their choice. For example, a parent cannot say it's the choice of my children, let them decide for themselves what they want to do. No, you are responsible for them. You are to guide them. You are to teach them you are to show them the right way. And when they grow up, then it's their choice. However, it's your responsibility to show them the right way. Because the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said called local MLA in Morocco, local Massoud, and I'm very happy. All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and the things under your care. All of you are guardians and each and every single one of you
We'll be asked about his flock. Everyone is a shepherd and each will be questioned about his flock. Al imamura and woman's Odin UNRRA yet he, the man, the ruler, the leader, he is a guardian of the subjects and is responsible for them. What would you learn fee Li Hua Hua Massoud Anwar, a Yeti he and a man his guardian of his family and he is responsible for them as well. You'll be questioned about them as well. While murottal are eaten fi Beatty's Odia, almost all Latin unwary Yeti, her, a woman is the guardian of her husband's house and is responsible for it.
Because sometimes women say it's not my job. Let the father teach the children. No, it's your responsibility as well. You are to guide your children as well. Just think about it. If your children, if your flock is running towards the edge of a cliff towards the fire, what will you do? Say it's their choice?
If your child is running towards the edge of a cliff, you will say it's her choice. Let her she will find out herself she will realize herself. No, you will leave everything and rush to save her.
Then how is it that when a child says no, no, I don't want to pray. I don't want to read Quran. I don't want to wear hijab, you say it's okay. It's your choice? How can you do that? How can you do that? And how can you leave them to make their own decision without even telling them? You understand? You let a person make a decision when when you've shown them? Both sides? Correct. So if you haven't showed both sides to them, if you haven't showed them, this is what Allah commands you to do. If you obey, this is the reward. And this is what Allah prohibits you from if you disobey, this is a punishment. If you haven't showed them both sides of the spectrum, then how are they meant
to make the right decision, they will never be able to make the right decision. So it's your responsibility. You cannot neglect your family members. You cannot leave them on their own. Once you have learned. And once you're trying to save yourself, you have to save them as well. You have to save them as well.
This is why we see insalata i 132. Allah subhanaw taala says what
it was started early her enjoying prayer upon your family and be steadfast there in tell your family members to pray. Don't just say it's their choice. It's up to them. If they decide not to pray, it doesn't have anything to do with me. It has everything to do with you. You have to tell them because Allah has told you to save them to enforcer como alikum. Nara.
And this is why we see that when children turn seven, what's the responsibility of the parents,
that they should make sure that children learn how to pray and they start praying regularly. And if the child turns 10, and still he does not pray, then the parents are also responsible for disciplining him. Even if it means striking, meeting the child slightly within limits, but disciplining the child, why is it important? Because this matter of Deen is not a small matter. It's about a hero. And a hero is not something small. It's major. It's eternal. It's real.
Look at the description of hellfire. Allah subhanaw taala gives us over here.
Would you ever hand over your own child to someone who can beat him up? burn him? torture him? Would you ever do that? You would never do that.
If somebody even speaks harshly to your child, you become so upset. How is it that we let our children do whatever they want to we don't have any plans for them. And we say it's their choice. This is very selfish. This is very ignorant behavior.
And Allah does not want us to have that at all. Who enforcer calm. Lee calm now
that we see many parents, they think that for example, the father that his responsibility is only to bring money is only to provide good housing. And so that children can go to a good school. They can save up for them so that they can go to university. They can have a career, but they don't participate in the therapy of the children in the proper upbringing of children.
Which is why when they come home, what do they want, the children should be sleeping. If they come home, they want the children that they've already eaten. They don't have to go anywhere. And they just need to go to sleep. That's it. Similarly, the mother, what does she think her responsibility is many times just to feed the children just to keep them clean, just to do their laundry, and teach them how to keep their rooms clean, teach their daughters how to do laundry, teach their daughters how to cook. But is that what life is all about? Is this your only responsibility? No. Your responsibility is to save them from Hellfire
that we see sometimes parents out of their sight
selfishness. What do they do that they think that they only have to look after the children until they've done High School, for example. And after that they'd leave the children on their own and the pressure to go to university. But where did I get the money from? I'm not giving it to you take a loan, take a home loan, which the children are never able to pay off, or they're not able to be here for many, many years. It's the parents pressurizing the children get a degree. And sorry, we're not going to offer you any financial assistance. Is it saving your children from fire or putting them in fire?
Don't forget that. You may focus on Salas and neglect. Exactly. That's what can make their personality as Muslims. Yes, very true. That we cannot just focus on only a few things when it comes to training our children, only just making sure that they have memorized or put on or only making sure that they are good in their math, or they know how to fold laundry. No, it's about everything that is necessary. As luck, manners, not cheating other people not being deceptive. Being honest, this is also very important.
Because if the clock is not good, if the children have not been brought up properly, then what's going to happen? Even if they know they're called on, they can easily lie, they can easily steal,
sometimes out of pity, out of love out of compassion. We say okay, don't fast. Okay? Don't read Quran.
You know, sometimes parents think like this, that already children are going to school. And when they come home in the evening, they have to go read on how difficult You know, they're so small, why make their life difficult. But the thing is, they have to do something anyway. If you don't take them anywhere to learn the Quran, they're gonna be sitting at home doing something else, typing away, perhaps on the computer.
So if you want good for them, then keep them busy and good things.
Because when they turn 15, they say now it's my life. Now whatever you say to me, I can make my own decision. Let me you know, get my own schedule. Let me do things on my own. I want to learn on my own. But your parents, they do have something good to say to you, perhaps they can give you some goodness here, which can help you in your life. But what is our attitude, I can do it on my own. Let me just worry about myself. Don't worry about me, I'm old enough, I can judge for myself, which is not necessarily the correct choice. If they're telling you something they're telling you for your betterment.
Many times it happens that parents advise their children, but the children don't like that advice. They say, let me make my own decision. But think about it, they're trying to save you from the fire, they want the best for you. So listen to their advice.
Just a couple of points. Even though we say our priorities are children's here after we put the priority of the dunya before the priority of the ACA. So in reality, we're not really saving them. That's one the other thing I was thinking, for our children, the biggest influence is us, the mothers, your children's class is how you behave. If you're constantly yelling at your children, then that's all your children are going to do. So we have to check ourselves first, and change our life so that we can influence and be good role models for our children.
A lot of parents because we send our children to Muslim schools, then we think our job is done everything they're going to be learning at school and however we forget that it's a constant follow up it's a constant educated in the household at home, because the dangers still everywhere. Muslim school, they're gonna learn everything and they're gonna be saved from Hellfire love for a bit, right. But this is something that we have to remind ourselves that it's a constant 24 seven job that we have to teach the clock and everything. Very true, that it's your responsibility to save your family. You cannot hand over this responsibility to the teacher, to someone else to the school to
the administration. No, it's your job, go and full circle.
I was just thinking that it's actually a reflection of our own. Imagine that if your mind is complete, then you would be saving you would be directing your children and your families to the right path. But if you don't have that certainty in the Hereafter, then of course, you're gonna say it's okay. I remember when we were growing up, sometimes children they get distracted by there's so many attractions in this dunya that are highlighted are also held on that are good, and they're also not that good. And I remember sometimes we would ask our parents for something and my mother would say that I just wish that I could take you guys to some cave and raise you up over there.
Because there's so much fitter.
But many times what is the attitude of parents? You know, they have to live in dystonia. Children have to live in dystonia. Right. And for that reason, they allow them to do many things that they would not do themselves ever. Think about it. If you let your child do something wrong. What are you telling them it's okay?
If you let them have a very low standard, you're telling them It's okay.
You want to be of the savvy cone. Don't you want your children to be able to
sobre la. So it's very important. And in sort of admin, we learned that you're as large and you're not, they are adults. And the same thing, we learned that your mom and dad is better. So in order to be on the safe side not to be having them as fitna or adobo yourself is very important. And again, everybody has been given us a tabula mustapa. Everybody capability is different. The thing is that if you don't influence them, they will influence you. If you don't lead them, they will lead you.
It varies in different countries, the way you discipline your children, it's different, like in Canada, you can only do so much because the kids has got so much right here. And you cannot discipline them. And they tell you basically, we do this because we have delayed it so much, right? If you train them at a young age, because it's you will influence it. In my country where like, you know, the kids here like, you know, they're so busy, you're so sorry for them, because they have so much homework, you don't want them to fast and you don't want them to pray and all that stuff. That's not happening in my country. Like I have so much homework assignment and all that I still
have the household chores to do. And it's not because they cannot do it. The kids can do it. But you have to teach them. Yes, great. And then here, because there's only so much you can do then you have to start at a young age. Because if not, they're going to tell you I'm going to call 911 For what? Oh, you know what I tell them, I said, Go Pack your things.
Assalamu alaikum. What they do is my case, I tell them remind me if I do anything, for example, if I delay my salad, tell me your salad. If I shower, tell me mommy you shouting. So that way the kid is I like to correct people. And for example, once I have my period, and my son is selling Rostock for alarm, I mean, you lost your salad. So you see when you tell them correct me they correct you in that the way they correct themselves. Right you and this can start from a very, very young age as well. My son, you know, he started throwing things that are total him gently. And every time you know, he's being aggressive or something, we tell him gently. The other day I was putting his toys
away, and I just threw a ball onto the other side. And he goes gently.
So the advice that I gave him, he gave it to me.
But if I say Oh, it's no big deal, he will learn when he grows up to be gentle. It might be too late. Right? he corrected me. So this is how it's going to be. We help one another by trying to save each other. And if you say it's the other person's decision, it's their choice, then remember that their bad will influence you.
TV like she wouldn't let us watch it if she saw something wrong. And that made us turn it off. And the second my dad came home that TV was off. And we just pretend like we're sitting in the living room for no reason. If they allowed us and they sat with us. And they showed okay, it's okay can't stop you from the TV, every kid watches TV, then we would still be watching TV till today. And we've been without TV for more than 10 years now. So she showed that disapproval all times. And we knew she didn't like it. But we still did behind her back. But we had that control over us. And when she's around, we're not going to do it. So I was just thinking that, you know, like I was thinking,
how do you stop kids from like reading things that are wrong or doing things that are wrong, and you have to keep on showing a disapproval because that's the least that you can do at least do that.
And the thing is, again, if you don't influence them, they will influence you. I remember when we were growing up my brother, he was climbing onto the TV table for some reason, he was very small at that time, and the television ended up falling and my parents never replaced it, I think my mom was very pleased that it was broken. hamdulillah so when we were growing up, basically, there was no television, and for a very, very long time, and Alhamdulillah because of that, I don't have the habit you can say of watching television. And because of that we were able to spend our time doing something else. Typically what happens children come back from school, immediately turn the
television on, right? And that's when they have all the cartoons and the kids program so that you know that's the time when the children want to actually watch the television. But I remember when we would come back from school, we would have to eat change quickly get ready because our current teacher would come and our evening would be spent with him learning the Quran reciting the Quran. Now that same time could have been spent on the television. But instead that time was spent on with what the Quran so it's about what you want to do, what goals you set for your children. And you can't just go with the flow, whatever is going on. Whatever comes up will happen. No you have to
take the lead. You have to make a plan. You have to be active. You can't just leave it, you know to the children or to the society or to whatever happens in your life. No, be active about it.
Like a situation where children regurgitate what they hear whether it's good or bad. She was doing a half and
We went to women. Now mother and a father was in, Mama, don't take her inside the store, she, you know one things and she testing. So I don't know I have to train her. I took her by the finger and I said, Veera, her name is Amelia, and she's the daughter of my daughter in law.
So I said, You're not going to touch anything in the store, Be a good girl. So we went around the store, she didn't just two and a half, she didn't touch a single thing. And while we were coming out, she saw a lady pick up a glass, and you know, like trying to just observe the glass from both sides. And she goes, lady, please don't touch anything. This, so whatever you teach her children, you know, they remember, they forget very quickly as well, but many things they remember.
And I also wanted to ask you one thing regarding the fitna in the schools here, it's true that there's a lot to juggle for the kids. But what about homeschooling, some parents have started homeschooling. And they believe that it's good for the children because they are away from the so called obscene habits. See, the thing is, whatever approach a person takes, again, they have to be very active. You can have your children studying at home, but they could be doing a lot of bad things at the same time. Just recently, I read an article about this person in Pakistan, they had written in the newspaper that had somebody came to visit them with a four year old child, and a four
year old child, he was so different. The way he was talking the things he was talking about, he knew about who the President was who the prime minister was, he knew everything about politics, and this is what he was discussing. And he was very impressed by that four year old. And then he met them after a very long time when that kid was a teenager. And he said that that child had completely changed. He could not look at me in the eye, he was stuttering. He was afraid he was nervous. He didn't even know who the President was. He had dropped out from high school. And he asked the father later on that what happened, this cannot be your child, your child was so different. He said, I made
the biggest mistake that when he was 14 years old, I got him unlimited access to internet at home because I thought my child was very intelligent. And he had a laptop to himself and internet to himself. And I never checked what he was doing, what he was watching what he was learning. And he ended up on certain websites that were pornography. And from there was the end of it. Basically, just imagine your child could be in your own home, but if you don't keep an eye, if you're not involved in your child's life, then in your own house, the child could be lost.
So no matter where your child is at home, at school, at an Islamic school, wherever remember it's your responsibility to save your children to save your families be concerned for them have a solid plan for them just like you have for yourself
so over here lots of panels are the setting a school and full circle what a legal narrow What are NASA well hey Java, whose workload whose few are men and stones are lay hammer a curtain rails when she died on layer soon Allahumma Amara home with aluna Umar Woon. Just think about it how concerned parents are about their children's record, like for example, that they should not have any kind of crime on it, their record should be completely clean. Because if it's not clean, then they will have trouble getting into a good school into a good workplace. They won't be able to have a stable family life in the future. How concerned parents are about dunya right. But we have to be more concerned
it for the sake of this dunya parents become so disciplined. They become so strict. Why is it that for the dean? We have no discipline, no strictness we said Go ahead. Do whatever you want. This is not right.