Overcoming Hardship and Depression (Part 1)
Channel: Taimiyyah Zubair
File Size: 27.29MB
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu
for coming up this evening, Nicolas pantile reward you for your coming here and your eagerness in Sharla to learn about how to face trials in life, because it is only those people who really take their life seriously who want to know how to deal with problems easily also. So May Allah subhanaw taala reward you for coming here and inshallah I pray that this session is of benefit to myself and also for every single person who has come here today in sha Allah.
Muhammad who went on Sunday or lotto soudal Kareem and my bird for the Billahi min ash shaytani r rajim Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim, rubbish Rahim is suddenly when suddenly Andy Warhol will determine the sanity of Coco Lee. Along the Colby was a deadly sin. He was slowly surfing at Appleby.
So a couple of years ago, my very dear mother, who was also my teacher, recommended that I should read a book. And that book is called kafer to YG. Will it Tila? How is it that you can face difficulties? How is it that you can face trials, and the moment I heard about this book, I made the intention to read it, and 100 and let the moment I got my hands on that book, I never put it away. And I have to be honest, it took me about it took me over a year actually to complete reading the book. Because it is such a book that once you start reading, you don't want to put it down because it is a Hamlet a lot of benefit to your daily life. When I started reading that book, I made the
intention that I will definitely share this knowledge with others also. So I'm very, very grateful to Allah subhanaw taala that He has given me the chance today to inshallah summarize and present the main ideas in that book to you today. So that inshallah it is of benefit to you also.
Now, this book, okay for to agile at lab, this book, basically, the author mentions 43 ways of dealing with life's problems. Now, when I saw this book, and I thought I and I looked at the number 43, I was amazed, because generally, when you are going through some difficulty, what is it that you're told, the patient has taken along? Right, which is also patients in a way. All right. So basically, when we are dealing with life's problems, the maximum we can think about is just two or three or five ways of dealing with the problems, but this author has compiled 43 ways. Now today inshallah I don't think I'll be able to go over 43 ways, but as much as we can, inshallah, I would
love to share that with you. Now, trials and difficulties. They are, in reality, a blessing, because our Lord is who Allah. And when Allah subhanaw taala describes himself in the Quran. After telling us about his name, Allah, the first description he gives off himself is which one? This milab Hello, Emmanuel Rahim. So when we think about a Lost Planet, Allah Our Lord, we know that He is merciful. And he's not just merciful. He is a rock man and a Rahim. Now generally we understand a rock man is merciful and over him also as merciful. Yes, there are differences between the names, but the very fact that merciful has two different names for our last panel, Tara, what does that show to us? That
he is very, very, very merciful. And this means that even the tests and the trials, the difficulties that he sends our way, are what they are also immersi.
And this is the reason why every single trial, no matter how hard it is, no matter how painful it is, no matter how long it is, for a believer, it will always be a blessing. Always. Why? Because a believer will look at trials with faith in Allah who is merciful. And because of that, that trial, even though it may appear to be punishment, even though it may feel very painful. In reality, it will be a blessing in sha Allah. Now, how is it that we can convert our trials and challenges into real blessings. This is something that we need to think about because aren't trials and difficulties, a daily
Part of our lives, are they? Are they? I think women know understand that really well, really well. Because I don't know about you. But for me at least when I was younger, I used to think when I grow up, inshallah, things will be fine. I used to think you know what, when I will turn 18, when I will get married, when I will move out, when I'll be a mom, when I'll be this and this, and this things will be good. They'll be in control. But what I realize is that as life goes on difficulties and tests, they never go away. In fact, they only increase, they only intensify. They only get worse as life goes on. So this is something that we need to learn about, how is it that I can deal with
life's problems, property so that I'm not miserable all the time. Because when difficulties are a part of life, if we're not taking them as blessings, they're going to make us unhappy. They're going to make us miserable. When you look at the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his life, when you look at his description that the Sahaba gave, what do we learn? He was the person whose face was like the full moon. What does that mean? He smiled a lot. But when you study the life of Rasulullah, sallAllahu, wasallam, no matter which part of his life, what is it that you find that he lived a very difficult life? He was born an orphan, his mother died, right? His grandfather died. And then
he received Prophethood. And then what happened? Life only became more and more difficult. I don't need to go into the details, you all know very well. But the fact that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam could smile, I mean, that's something amazing. So this is inshallah what we're going to be looking at today, that how is it that we can also smile through our daily problems? How is it that we can also be happy and be fine as things get difficult, whether it's the change of weather, or it is somebody who's mood, you know, changing with us, or their behavior changing with us, or a new challenge at work, a new challenge at school, children acting up whatever it may be. So how is it
that we can also smile through our life's problems inshallah, this is the objective today. So the author he writes that, first of all, know that whatever happened,
is from Allah.
It is by his will, it is by his decree. Meaning even if we have been pricked by a thorn, these days, we don't generally get pricked by horns. I think we get poked by our pins, or maybe spoked by a fork or something like that. Even if it's something as small as that.
It has happened by who's will, the will of Allah subhanaw taala. And having this faith that my Lord He allowed it, this is the only reason why happened. This is something that brings a lot of strength inside. In the Quran, we learn a lot parents, Allah says that man or Saba men will see button 11, even Illa there is normal Sliva, no disaster, no difficulty that hints that strikes except by the permission of Allah. So nothing big or small happens except by Allah permission. Woman you mean Billa again, the caliber and whoever believes in Allah, then Allah will guide his heart. Allah will guide his heart, me Allah will guide him in that situation, how to relax and how to smile, and how
to be at peace. Now, when we look at our lives, and we look at the lives of those around us, not just human beings, but the rest of the creation also that is around us, above us, around us below us in whatever way. What do we see that hardships and trials are something that no one is spared of? No matter who you meet, no matter which person is it that we come across any person young or old, will have problems of their own?
Even a little child. You know, we think that Oh, babies are so lucky. I wish I could be a baby No, you don't wish you want to you would be a baby. You really don't wish that because I mean a poor baby cannot even burp until somebody will actually pick the baby up and help the baby burp. I mean, look at that weakness. And look at that agony. That poor little child is going through because of a burp that is stuck. So Pinilla,
no one at all is spared of difficulties. Every single creature is dusted. Look at the planet that we live in. We see that there are at least 13 million different kinds of animals and plants that exists
on this planet 30 million kinds, not number. It's the types of species. And everywhere you look land or water, you look at living things going to extraordinary lengths in order to survive. Really, the struggle they go through in order to survive is just amazing. Now here, I would like to mention a few examples, just so that when we put it into perspective, our problems they don't seem that bad to us. If you go to the underwater world, you look at a Pacific giant octopus. Now a giant octopus, right, a pretty strong creature. A female Pacific giant octopus will watch her eggs for six months. After it lays its eggs, she will watch her eggs for six months, not leaving even once for food. And
what that means is that after six months finally when her eggs will hatch, she is starving.
She will die. So when she goes to a safe place in order to lay eggs, basically, she's going to her grave. When you look at a tiny frog, a strawberry poison dart frog, it's as small as a fingernail, I want you to look at your nails. Okay, one name, one finger nail. This is how tiny this little frog is. All right. Now this little frog will first watch and guard and protect her eggs in the water. But eventually what happens is that the water dries out. So then it has to run to different places and collect water from there in its mouth and bring it to where her eggs are. Finally, when the eggs hatch, the tadpoles come out, for sure the water will finish. So then what it does is that it
carries its babies one tadpole at a time on her back. This frog will carry her tadpole on her back. And she will climb up tall trees. All right, all the way to the top. looking for a place between leaves where there's water.
And any small hole plays that you will find where there's water, she will go and put her that bill over there. And she will do this for every single tadpole.
Now, to put this into perspective, this is equivalent to a human being. All right, climbing the Empire State Building. Just imagine Have you ever carried your baby on your back? Forgot a baby? If you were carrying your backpack? Have you backpack? Huh? If you have to climb stairs, does it get difficult? extremely difficult.
In the Arctic, you look at reindeer. reindeer are constantly on the move. Why? In search of food. And they walk so much constantly, constantly on the move, that by the time these animals die, the amount of distance they've covered on their foot is equivalent to walking around the Earth three times, three times. Now I will go on and on and on. Right? Because when you look at nature, when you look at mahalo when you look at allas Hulk, when you look at any creature that exists on this planet, you see that life is tough. Life is difficult for every single creature. And we as human beings are not exempt from that. This is a universal law, that people are going to be tested. we as
human beings are going to be tested. Instead of the uncouth I want to three Allah. Allah says Alif Lam Meem a has he been NASA utako A Apollo Amana hula afternoon. Do people think that they will be left just because they have said we believe and they will not be tested. They will be tested. Certainly they will be tested, they will go through hardships in their lives. For sure. This is a lost promise.
Because the moment you come to this world you will be tested. This is a las pantallas promise. Allah says in Surah Fatiha Ayah three pseudoknot Allahu Allah to Allah, tala, this is a lot sooner This is Allah way, which has always been there. And you will never ever find for Allah's way a change, meaning the universal laws are not going to change for us. Just because we're crying so much or just because we're upset or just because we're not accepting the difficulties that have become a part of our lives. This universal law is not going to change for us. So then what's the solution? What should we do? Can we escape life's problems? can we
can we avoid them? I mean, we can try to keep ourselves safe and that is something that we should do. But we will be calling
By difficulties. So when we realize that difficulties are a part of life, then for sure bearing those difficulties becomes easier. Let me give you an example. When you go to school, when you go to university,
is it understood that you have to sit in class?
Is it understood that you have to do your readings?
Is it understood that you will have midterms and you will have projects and you will have assignments and you will have exams and the list goes on, doesn't it?
When you go to work, is it expected that you will have to work? It's understood otherwise they wouldn't be work. Right? So, when you approach your work with this mindset that yes, I have to do such and such and such then does it become easy? Yeah, because you've accepted it. So, our biggest strength in facing life's problems after belief in the last panel, Carla is accepting the fact that yes, difficulties will be there. It's not going to be easy, things are going to get tough.
Another thing that helps us in dealing with life's problems is like what I mentioned earlier, that nothing happens except by the will of Allah. And nothing happens except by Allah's decree.
Now, in her these, we learned that the first thing unless panel Tada, created, the first thing that a lot created was the Ben. So we're talking about before dinosaurs, okay, before the earth before this universe, the first thing that Allah tada created was the pen before the angels,
was what the pen
and Allah ordered the pen to write.
And the pen said, what should I write and the last panel tada order the pen to write everything that is going to happen?
Every everything that is going to occur?
So what does it mean, then, that what has happened today, that I have found very, very difficult and painful, was something that was written, when, yesterday,
when I was born,
when other ways that I was created, when the earth was created, no, even before that, it was written, when it was written, it was meant to be. And remember that this is the core of our faith. This is what distinguishes us from the rest of the people, this belief in Allah, that Allah knew it, Allah decided it, he allowed it. This was meant to happen, it was decreed rather than some ethical dilemma. And he said to his son, that Oh, my son, you will not taste the reality of faith until you know that what has come to you could not miss you. And that what has missed you could never have come to you. This is our faith. And once we understand this, that this was meant to be this was
written, then yes, we understand what faith is, then yes, we have faith. Now, when you go to the airport to catch a flight,
and it is on time you board the plane, you find your seat, you sit down, you get all comfortable. And the flight is 14 hours nonstop. It's difficult, but will you have some Will you have patience? Yeah, I mean, somehow you will spend those 14 hours. But if it so happens that you get to the airport and you'll find out that the flight has been delayed for hours. Then what happens?
Angry right now after four hours you find out it's gonna be another hour.
You said this is my ticket? Okay, these days, nobody takes printed tickets. But still you insist on taking it so you take it anyway. All right. He said this is my ticket. It says the flight was supposed to depart at this time. It's been five hours you get upset, right?
What if you sit on the plane like it happened with me once.
And then because of the storm because of the snow, the plane cannot move for five hours or three hours or two hours, then what?
You've lost it basically somebody's hands difficult. Right? Now what if finally when the plane takes off the flight was just two hours
as opposed to that 14 hour flight. Now for that 14 hour flight you had some But why? because you knew that the flight is 14 hours. That's what the ticket says.
Right? But when a two hour flight turns into a 14 hour journey, then what happens so that becomes difficult.
What brings us patience, is the fact that whatever is happening right now was written,
it was written, I believe in that. And when it was written, a loss penalty will help me go through this also because I have surrendered to his decree, then someone will come
into MBI 23. Allah, Allah says, law use and we're on May of our Lu wahome. Use unknown.
Allah is not questioned about what he does, but they will be questioned. What does it mean? That whatever Allah decrees, whatever Allah decides, it does not deserve to be questioned.
Along the decree, his decision is so perfect, it is so sublime that it doesn't even deserve to be questioned. Why? Because who is the decision maker? Allah subhanaw taala. So any trial, any difficulty that has come my way big or small? It has happened with a lot of knowledge, his decision, and a lot of decisions are based on his wisdom. Right, his perfect justice, and his perfect knowledge also, this is why as a person who believes in Allah subhanaw taala, am I going to wonder why me Oh, Allah? Can I wonder? Can I ask about that? That Oh, Allah, why this? Why this test? Why did this happen? Why did this person have to be taken away from me? Why did I have to suffer from
such and such and such? The people of my age don't suffer from such a disease? Why am I suffering from this disease? I'm still very young. Why will this happen then? No, because Allah is not questioned about what he does. Why? Because he knows what he's doing. We don't even know about what's happening in our lives. Do we? Do we know about what's happening in our own bodies?
We don't know. Do we know about how our children are thinking what they're feeling? No. I mean, sometimes people are so close to us. They're visibly upset. But we don't even know what the reason is. Does it happen all the time it happens. So the fact is that we are deficient in knowledge, whereas Allah subhanaw taala is not deficient in knowledge. He's perfect in his knowledge,
our justice, our standards of justice, what are they? They are deficient also, and Allah subhanaw taala. He's absolutely just unfair, in sort of calfire 49 of lost pounds artists, as well as limra, buka ohada. Your Lord does not do injustice to anyone. Nobody at all.
Nobody. I mean, sometimes we feel bad about someone who's struggling, like for example, if there's a, you know, for example, a particular creature that is struggling, you want to interfere, and you want to help out, but when we try to help out, we're not actually helping out, what are we doing? We're causing harm. You know, for example, if there's a chick that's trying to come out of the egg, what do you want to do, you just want to break the shell for it, right, help it out. But if you do that the chicken survived. It has to go through that difficulty of trying to come out of the egg itself, it has to go through that in order to survive.
I once learned about this particular fish that I don't remember now, its name, I don't remember. But this particular fish, they noticed that the fish that would eat it, another fish that would eat it, because of that predator that this particular fish would have to, you know, swim a lot. Alright, so what they did is that they got rid of the predators. Alright, so in a particular place, they got rid of the predators.
But then what happened, that this particular fish, its taste changed,
it stays changed, it wasn't that good anymore. It wasn't that flavorful anymore. So then they figured out that because of the predator, this fish is constantly
swimming moving, moving, moving. Now that seems so sad, poor fish, let's you know, take it out of the misery and just take the predator out. Right, save it some trouble.
But that affected the quality of the fish. So in order to improve the quality of the fish, they put that predator fish in the same tank,
they put the predator in the same tank. Now, in our lives Also, sometimes we see things that are very, very difficult to bear very, very difficult to tolerate, very, very difficult to go through. But in them is good that we don't know about Allah subhanaw taala knows and this is the reason why he split that difficulty in our lives. If it wasn't good for us, he would not have placed that difficulty in our lives at all. Because when a young lady Maura buka had died.
He does not rank anyone at all.
When you came here Did you find a draw card on your on your seat? And you know this drama is do offer relief from sadness. When you're feeling sad, what should you say? The prophets of La said I'm talking to this dog.
And in this draft, what do we say Aloma. ner. Duca ignore, ignore ametek NASA Yeti bionic mountain fear hook Mk. Adlon fear of work, that Oh Allah, whatever you decide concerning me will for sure happen. And whatever you decree concerning meat is either it is pure justice. It's possible that I don't view it as just unfair. But Allah you know, I trust your decision that it is fair. So this is what the prophets of the law said and taught us ardillon fear.
Now, when Allah subhanaw taala
is putting us in some difficulty. What is the reason?
What is the reason? What's the benefit? There are definitely benefits, what are they? Some of them are? Firstly, we see that difficulties are an expiation for our sins and mistakes. If we don't suffer the consequences of our mistakes, would we ever fix them?
Would we ever fix them? Let me give you an example.
You have a disagreement with your husband.
And in that disagreement, you say something that's disrespectful.
Next thing, you know, he's upset with you.
And not just upset like he was last time. This time he was really upset.
So what happens like I'm sorry?
And he's not happy still.
And one day goes, and then another day goes? And then what do you think? What have I done? I better fix this. I better fix this. And then when you fix it, do you learn from your mistake?
Now, if your husband didn't get upset with you for being disrespectful, would you care about being respectful with him next time or disrespectful with him next time? No.
We won't really. So when we see the consequences of our mistakes, yes, they're very, very difficult. But if we didn't see those consequences, would we fix ourselves? No, we wouldn't. So difficulties are meant to purify us. They are meant to remove our sins from us. They're meant to erase our mistakes. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, No Muslim is afflicted with harm because of sickness or some other inconvenience, but that Allah will remove his sins from him, just as a tree sheds its leaves.
Now, fall is coming very soon in shallow and we will see a lot of trees that are full right now we will see them empty, literally empty right now you can barely see the branches. But what happens when fall comes or winter comes? What do you see? Not even a single leaf. So this is what happens. When a believer goes through difficulties in his life, then all his sins, they fall off. He is forgiven for the sins that he has been committing. And another Hadees we learned the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, No fatigue, nor a disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah will experience
some of his sins for that. You know, the Hadees what is mentioned earlier that no fatigue nor disease.
NASA, Wassup? NASA is you know, when you get tired when you've been working all day, do you feel tired? Alright, maybe you've been working all day, getting your children ready for some classes or something, dropping them off coming home, feeding them cooking and then cleaning and then laundry. And then finally when you're sitting here, you're taking a deep breath. Hmm. So this is fatigue. This is nothing but even for this fatigue. What happens a believer sins are erased. how merciful is our Lord? Not just NASA but also wassup. Wassup is constant pain, constant pain.
You know, for example, if a person has some disease, let's say a condition in their bones. Because of that they're constantly in pain, even for that constant pain. The scenes are being erased. In another video, we learned that once the prophets of Allah Salaam he visited on site in a particular Sahaba and he said What is the matter or Messiah
Why are you shivering? Because she was shivering. She was so sick, she was shivering. So she said, I have fever lobata Kala houfy her, May Allah not bless it, meaning she was really upset with the fact that she had fever. She was saying la Baraka lofi her. So the prophets of Allah said him said, Don't curse fever, because it XP it's the sin of the children of Adam, in the way that a furnace removes dirt from iron furnace, really hot, but when you put iron in it, what will happen? That iron or whatever object it is, it will become purified. So yes, fever is not, I mean, it's not fun, it's no fun at all. You cannot even enjoy the food that you're eating, isn't it so, you cannot even keep
your eyes open and read anything.
But there is still benefit in that and what is that benefit our sins are erased inshallah, in another Hadees, we learn trials will not cease afflicting the believing men and the believing woman in their self meaning in their lives, in their children and wealth until they meet Allah without having any sin without having anything left with them.
So now, after listening to all of these are headings that I've mentioned to you, what do we learn from this? Any trial any difficulty?
How should we react? How should we respond? What should be our first reaction? What should it be? frustration, anger, or something else?
Okay, what would you call it? How would you describe it? Because, you know, we say it with patience. But what does patients mean?
What does patience mean? How exactly is it going to happen? Go ahead. I would say that something happened
last month. And except the planning, as you said, before you it has to happen to you that meant for you. You accepted you'll find that comes easier, as you said because the speech of the person Yeah.
Recently, a friend of mine, and I'm sharing the story because she actually wants me to, you know, share her story with others because inshallah will be a source of inspiration. She was diagnosed with cancer. She has three little children, three little children. The youngest is three. And
when she was diagnosed with cancer, you can imagine for a young woman, it was a big shock. And when she called me she was crying and crying and crying, and she was telling me about every other thing that she's gone through. And I said, I honestly don't know what to say to you. But anytime any worry comes into your mind, say, Lolita Villa Europa release will be la Europa, that Oh Allah, I am pleased with you as my Lord. I don't understand why this has happened. But you have decreed it. This has happened by your will. You permitted it. You know my situation, you love me more than I love myself, you love my children more than I love them. But I'll need to be a hero.
Recently, I spoke to her again after a couple of months where treatment is going on. And she said that every time I get worried or anytime I feel, you know, scared for myself or for my family. For my children, I just say it'll lead to Bella hero. And I was so happy. Now she sounded so different. He is a source of inspiration. When I was listening to her I was crying. I felt like how impatient I am with the petty issues that I have I faced in my life. So one thing that we can say when disaster strikes, when difficulty strikes is rolling.
I am pleased with Allah is my Lord.
What else can we do?
From these ahaadeeth that you heard? What else can we do? When we are struck with some difficulty? What can we think? What should we think?
Yes, in Mandalay, we're in la de la June. Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him as our return. This is a confession of the fact that yes, Allah you are my Lord, I'm your servant. I'm your slave. You know this door that inshallah you will receive or you have already received on this card, alone with me
is no object that all I am your slave who is the son of your slave, meaning I'm a slave, my nessa my ancestry is also servants, meaning we are all servants to you. This is why I am so in any lay. This is a confession of the fact that all I am your servant, I'm your property you can do whatever you want with me in a Roger and although we're coming back to you, do you as our return.
Now, another thing that we need to remember is that suffering trials, suffering from difficulties is approved.
Have Allah love for you?
This is a proof of Allah subhanaw taala his love for you? What do I mean by that?
Tell me something.
If your child comes in, says, Mom, can I please eat this pack of sour patch?
The whole pack? First thing in the morning before breakfast? What are you gonna say? No? No?
What is he gonna say?
And then that why will turn into a tantrum which might turn into a you know, full crying session. Right?
Now the child, your son is upset, sad. Very, very sad, because you refuse candy.
Right? But why did you do that?
Why did you say no to him? Why didn't you just give it to him? Don't you love your child? Don't you want him to be happy? Why did you say no?
Because it's not good for the child. So what?
Why? Why are you making that decision for him because you care about your child. You care about his teeth, you care about his health, you care about his nutrition? Isn't you care about his future? This is why you are depriving your own son of the very thing that he desperately wants and is crying for.
And it's very painful for that child. But why do you do that? Every single day? Don't we experienced this as mothers? Don't we? Or as older sisters all the time?
I mean, my son, he's only six years old. Now. He said to me, Mom, how come you don't allow me to do what I want to do? And I was thinking here only six? What's gonna happen when you become a teenager?
Write. But why do we do this? Because we love our children,
isn't it? We wake them up in the morning, even though they want to sleep. Why? Because they have to go to school. We forced them to eat their breakfast because we love them. So sometimes in our lives, we are made to go through things that we don't like, or things that we like are not given to us. Why? Because Allah subhanaw taala hates us.
dislikes us. No, he cares about us. In a hadith the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said that if Allah wants to do good to somebody, he afflicted with trials.
maturity level, being higher on your side men who Allah puts him in difficulty. Why? So that Allah can reward him so that Allah can reform him so that the servant can correct himself so that his sins may be erased, so that the servant can improve himself. So trials difficulties, they're not meant to humiliate us. They're not meant to destroy us, they're meant to elevate us, make us stronger and better.
And I had these winner and the prophets of loss, Adam said that a person has a position near Allah being a loss of panel data wants that a person should attain a specific level, a specific rank, all right. But this person is not able to attain that level through his actions.
You know, for example, you set high goals for yourself. Ramadan just came and went. All right, we set goals for ourselves. I have to read the whole Quran cover to cover at least once at least twice, at least three times. And by the end of Ramadan, you're sitting wondering, I barely managed to read half of the forum.
You set a goal for yourself, but you weren't able to accomplish it. Right? You tell yourself I'm gonna get up tonight and break the head on what happens. You barely wake up in time to pray one. Right. So Allah soprano Donna also has a certain rank for his servant. But a servant is not able to attain that rank just by his actions. So then what happens? The Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, so Allah continues to test him through what he dislikes until he attains that position. Allah subhanaw taala will make that person go through difficulty upon difficulty upon difficulty. Why? So that because of his summer, he can reach that high position that our last panel Florida has decided for