Tahir Anwar – The Final Rites Fiqh of Dying Death & Burial
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My father says dying in America is is
almost a punishment.
The costs associated to it.
Right? The difficulties
associate can be unless you're prepared and you're
ready.
If someone passes away at home, you should
be ready for an autopsy.
If you pass away at home,
does anyone know who to call if you
die at home? Who's the first person? What's
the first call you make?
911.
Yeah. Most people don't know that.
Before anyone arrives at your house, the police
will arrive at your house.
If the person has a medical condition, makes
life a lot easier. The doctor's probably gonna
sign off on the certificate, the death certificate,
but if not, then then it could be
a somewhat lengthier process.
Having a good relation if you're if you're
older, if you have a family member that's
older,
having a decent relationship with the physician,
right, it's very very important.
No. Not by law, but the expect one.
If that person doesn't have a medical condition
then they wanna know how this person passed
away.
Right? If the person has a medical condition,
you have a decent relationship with a doctor,
doctor kind of already knows that, hey, this
person's probably going to pass away soon, so
they'll sign off. Have a good relationship with
the physician because if you pass away on
a Friday afternoon or a Friday evening or
a Saturday morning, unless that physician signs off,
you can't bury your deceased.
Right?
Alhamdulillah,
I'm honored to say that we live in
a community where if someone even passed away
on a Friday night, we can most probably
get them buried by Saturday afternoon.
Most Muslim communities in the United States cannot
say that. If you pass away on a
Friday or Saturday, you will most probably have
to wait until Monday or even Tuesday to
bury them bury them because we don't have
relationships with the local coroner's office, with the
local county office, and so on and so
forth. In the Bay Area, we have an
imam from India,
who has been doing this for so many
years
that if you ever tell him someone passes
away on Friday and they go to the
nearby Masjid and they say, oh, we can't
bury you until Monday, he says, who says
you can't? Bring them to me. Bring me
the paperwork. I'll take care of it. I'll
make sure your janaza is on Saturday. And
just in fact, just recently
just recently,
we had an individual who passed away
late Friday night in the month of Ramadan.
A lady, a sister,
in her forties
died of cancer and leaves behind an 11
year old child.
She passed away on Friday night. We had
her Janaza on sat we went the the
family went to 1 masjid and that masjid
told them and said, okay, we can get
you your paperwork on Monday. And so they
called me after tarawi I said no just
call this person this imam and he will
take care of it they called the imam
Saturday morning he was on top of things
Saturday after
it was the and
she was buried Saturday afternoon And the reason
I say this is because in our tradition,
we are reminded by the prophet Muhammad sallallahu
alaihi wasallam that one should be buried as
soon as possible.
In fact, as I was preparing, I was
going through some notes.
I went through an entire article where it's
mentioned
that
were
one to wait
for the upcoming Fard prayer
for a larger congregation
would be incorrect if the Janazah could be
done earlier than that.
Right? So as soon as a person passes
away,
one should endeavor to be buried as soon
as possible. We believe, you know, the ruh
is somewhat semi hanging, if if we may
call it that,
and waiting for the the Alam al Barsakh
to be buried to to meet the angels
and so on and so forth. And so,
one should hasten in in the in the
janazah of an individual, in the burial of
an individual.
And one should make it very clear, as
many people have to their family members, that
when I pass away, don't wait for anyone.
Don't wait for the oldest child. Don't wait
for the child who lives in a different
continent.
Bury me because that's the right thing to
do.
Right? That's the right thing to do. I
missed my mother's father's janaza, my nana's janaza
by 10 minutes,
but he had made it very clear that
as soon as I pass away,
you bury me and you don't wait for
a soul. To this day, my mother's been
a little upset
at her brothers, but that's okay.
I've never held a grudge against anyone because
understanding that I know that that's what should
have been done.
I I drove in and the people were
just coming back from the graveyard.
It is
what it is. Preparations,
we're talking about preparations.
Make sure your is ready. No one wants
to talk about. We have an extra pair
of clothes or a suit lying around for
a wedding or something that we may need
to go to.
Well we don't have our
should be prepared for.
As an as an elderly person once told
me that I open the bag in which
my is in and I just look at
it. That these are my clothes. I'm gonna
wear this for the longest time.
Right? She says that I sometimes take them
and bring them put them in my hand
and feel them and touch them.
Right? Because that's what I'm going to wear.
So make sure your kaffan is ready. If
it's not, the local masjid will take care
of it for you. Where I come from
in India and some of you may understand
this or have heard of this, where I
come from in India, you only go for
Hajj once.
Things have changed now, but where I come
from generally,
you collected your money your entire life in
your fifties, sixties, or seventies, you went for
Hajj, and one of the things that you
took with you when you went for Hajj
was the white piece of cloth that was
going to be your coffin
and you washed it in Zamzam
and you brought it back with you.
Some of you are smiling because you know
what I'm talking about. Okay. It's a very
common tradition in India where I come from.
That's why if ever you've seen people
drying these big white pieces of cloth outside
the Haram,
that's what it is. That's their coffin,
right? And sometimes they take a very large
piece of cloth so that it could be
the kaffan for multiple family members,
because that could be the only person in
the family that's ever going for Hajj.
Alright. So they wash it in and there's
no there's no religious significance to this per
se. There's a there's a more traditional significance
to this and they would wash it in
tzamzam and they would bring it back and
that would be something that they would treasure
and they would keep very close to them.
And if anyone in the family ever passed
away, their kafen would be cut from that
piece of cloth until it ran out.
So make sure your kafan is ready. As
I mentioned earlier, make sure there are clear
cut instructions for your family members as to
what needs to be done, as to where
you wish to be buried, as to how
you wish to be buried, as to, you
know, if you have any wishes, those, you
know, they should be known.
You know, if you have children that you
can trust, inshallah, that that's that's a that's
very honorable for a parent. Right? That if
I, even if I haven't given instructions, I
have children who know exactly what to do,
that's very honorable. But otherwise,
you know, making sure there's instructions.
I like to remind people that make sure
you leave aside some cash,
some money aside,
because
burying
burials in the United States can be expensive.
We need to that's another that's something we
need to tackle. We need to figure out
how we can bring down the costs of
burials. If you happen to be in charge
of a masjid in your community,
rather than, you know, making a basketball court
or trying to figure out this new building
that you wanna build,
try to figure out a way where you
can make burials
cost effective in your communities.
Train someone. Get someone licensed in your community
to take care of make them a funeral
director.
Right? Buy buy a vehicle so that you
can save on the costs.
Transporting the body is very I don't know.
And I'm just speaking from my Californian experience,
but transporting a body in California can cost
anywhere between $15,021,000.
Okay?
Buying a gravesite, if you buy it at
the local Muslim graveyard,
it's about $1500
and the opening and closing is about a1000.
So it costs it runs you about 25100.
But if you go to any other graveyard,
like, for example, if you go to the
one in Hayward,
the the the the cost of the gravesite
is $5,000
plus opening and closing cost you another 2,000.
If you go to,
one of the graveyards that the Muslims in
the Bay Area or at least where I
live use is Los Gatos and,
the burial site there alone is like $15,000
and I've tried to tell people I've had
cases where you have and see people really
need to think of this spiritually.
I have had so I tell you I
could sit here and tell you story after
story after story. I would never teach you
a thing
and Sidi Yahya would get very upset.
I've had a situation where
You Allah, I I had a family come
to me and tell me that we're buying
a gravesite in Los Gatos for $15,000
for our father because our mother is buried
there. And I said, why don't you bury
them in Livermore, which is a little ways
away? It's a 45 minute drive away.
I can get them buried for less than
$5.
You take that 10,000
that you have
that you have
and send it to some impoverished country and
build a masjid with the tawab going to
your parents. I can find you
places and towns and villages where I come
from in India where you can build a
masjid for $5,000.
Give it as an endowment
to a college, to a masjid, to a
university here in the Bay Area if you
don't want to send money back home. And
for for as long as they because you
and the justification was that when we go
on aida whenever to make dua for them,
we can make dua for both of them
at the same time. I'm like dude,
I didn't say dude, but
I said you're gonna make dua for them
for how many years? You're already in your
fifties.
Okay? Your chill No. No. No. This is
very very real. This is very real. I'll
tell you another story, and I cry and
cringe to this day when I tell you
these stories.
You know, you will make draw for them
for how many years? 50 years, your children
will remember them for 50 years, great grandkids
for another 100 years, in 200 years, your
parents are gonna be forgotten
by their own blood.
By their own blood, but you make guach
of this $10,000
and people will you will get that reward,
they and you will get that reward until
the end of time.
Doesn't make sense to people.
You know people really need to think about
these things.
I had a situation once where a Muslim
individual passed away and the children, this is
all in the Bay Area,
passed away, children chose to bury their father
in a non Muslim graveyard close to home.
So you're being buried amongst
non Muslims.
The biggest disadvantage is 2 great disadvantages of
that. One, you're not facing the qibla, which
is a sunnah.
2
2,
there won't be frequent visits by Muslims to
that graveyard. When we go to the graveyard,
I've been taught, we've all been taught that
you make Duaa for everyone that's buried there
And when you're buried in a graveyard like
this, you won't have daily visitors to the
graveyard to make dua for these people, for
your own father, but they said, we live
we want to be close to our father.
We want our father to be close, which
is perfectly fine. That's your decision to make,
but what's the disadvantage?
I told that child and I said, listen,
I'm going to be very generous.
You may go to your father's grave
every day for the next year, every other
day for the next 2 years, every week
for the next 2 years, every month for
the next 5 years.
K. I'm being very generous. You don't go
that, but in 10 or 12 years, your
visits are going to be maybe once or
twice or 3 times a year.
What happens after that? What happens if you
move away?
What happens if you leave?
What happens when you pass away? What happens
when your children and your grandchildren pass away?
It's not going to be anyone to make
Dua for them.
Whereas if they were buried in a graveyard,
my own father traveled
my one of my grandmothers,
my great grandmother's, she passed away of a
disease in some town in India where they
had a British hospital back in the day.
And
my father always wanted to visit his grandmother's
grave,
So and he didn't know where the grave
was, but he just knew that she's buried
in this town. And 3 or 4 years
ago, he visited that town, went to the
local masjid, found someone, told asked him and
said, I want a guy to take me
to every Muslim graveyard in this town and
he stood by the gates of every graveyard
and he said, I think there was 3
of them and he made dua for everyone
and he made dua for his grandmother. When
he was done, he got on the next
train and came back.
Alright. When my father comes to my parents
live in London. When my father comes to
California, I know that I have to dedicate
a day
for him where I do nothing but take
him to 3 or 4 graveyards
because he has he has friends that are
buried there and he goes this is my
right upon them.
This is my hop this I if I
don't do this, they will ask me on
the day of judgment and I can't bear
that. I take him to the
cemetery in Los Gatos. I take him to
Hayward, I take him to Livermore, then we
travel to Lodi because Lodi has another Muslim
graveyard and I'm mentioning these names because some
of you are from California and you know
what I'm talking about.
Right? So these are things we need to
be conscious of and aware of.
You Allah,
You Allah.
It's not easy to talk about death.
Talk about it. Make it easy for your
family. Think about it.
I'm going my time is up, but,
I'm gonna just go through this. Just bear
with me.
And the Hanafi opinion is that it's and
dislike to purchase a gravesite before you die.
Is there anything in the
school? No? Yeah. The reason it's is because
you don't know where you're going to die.
The reason it's is because you don't know
where you're gonna die. But at the same
time, if you live in the United States,
you you you live in a certain community,
there's a graveyard close by, the the general
contemporary opinion is that go ahead and purchase
a gravesite,
just so that cost is, you know, your
children don't have to,
bear that cost. When you choose your gravesite,
think of the fact that you're gonna be
sleeping there for tens,
maybe 100, maybe 1000 of years. Ibrahim alaihis
salatu wasalam has been in his grave for
over 3000 years.
That's your permanent home. Your permanent home are
not these fancy zip codes that we live
in.
Now people I know people like fancy zip
codes, better school districts, better homes. Where do
you live? Oh, I live in Saratoga.
I'm in Woodside.
The the reality is one brother once told
me was my my ZIP code is gonna
be the graveyard in Livermore. I better memorize
that. That's my address. And he passed away
very young, cancer.
And he you know his son room I
tell his son I said you know what
your dad's address is because his son is
a friend of mine and a student of
mine and a hadjab buddy of mine and
he smiles he goes I know. Ahmad Alhelu
plot you know 5 Pillars Farm plot D10
Livermore California he goes that's my dad's address
You know, that's the reality of life.
So our our priority in choosing our burial
site should be
not our distance from home,
yet,
where where many Muslims are buried. Now this
brings up a whole other can of worms
that we will talk about tomorrow.
Yesterday, we left off at transporting the body,
if I recall. Is that where we left
off? Does anyone remember? No? Yes. So transportation
of the body. The general Islamic understanding is
that
transporting
the body from one town to another town
is not allowed, let alone go to a
a different state or country altogether.
So once a person passes away, if there
is a graveyard,
in the same town, then that person should
be buried in that graveyard, the graveyard closest
to one's house. Now because we, as Muslims,
have certain requirements in regards to how a
person should be buried, facing
the qibla, being around other Muslims, and so
on and so forth. So a person should
be able to access the closest Muslim graveyard
possible
to one's home where, one can be buried.
To take them out of state would be
incorrect.
To take them overseas
would be incorrect.
There's an entire process
of embalming that is done to a body
if people only knew what that you know,
what what a body would go through,
when it would be embalmed.
Most people would choose not to do so.
And Islamically, it is,
incorrect for an individual's body to be transported,
especially from one country to to another country.
And where where my parents live in England,
unfortunately, this is very it's a very common
practice amongst
people from certain countries that when they pass
away, they choose for their deceased to be
transported to a different country altogether.
And one should refrain from that, one should
be aware of that,
and
if a loved one has made that
has expressed that desire, they should be explained
that it is incorrect to do so.
And, if they've passed away and the decision
is with you, then it would be perfectly
fine for you to not abide by that,
wasiyeh and have them buried in a graveyard
close by. So one should be conscious of
that.
Wills.
Sidi, Yahya, if I recall, is going to
be speaking to wills tomorrow,
but one should have a will,
even if you're not wealthy,
even if you're not old,
because again as we discussed yesterday, life has
no guarantees a person could pass away at
any time and ensure that one's assets are
distributed according to Islamic law. That's very very
crucial.
And,
very briefly, I'm I'm sure Sidiyeh will talk
about this, but, you know, if you want
to give
once you pass away
once you pass away,
the assets are distributed
according to Islamic law, period.
If what you've left behind in your will
is contrary to Islamic law, Islamic law I
mean,
people may get what you left behind in
your will because that's what the law says,
but one will be accountable to Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala. If you wish to give more
away to one child over the other, that
needs to be done in your lifetime. That
can't happen after you die.
K? You can't so you can't say that
I want 50%
of this to go to my daughter, and
then the other 50% to be divided between
the other 3 children.
Because this daughter took care of you. If
now, if you want to give 50% away,
you can give it away in your lifetime.
Make them the owner. They you have to
hand over the ownership. But once you pass
away, if that child was to take 50%,
then you would be in sin. That child
would be in sin.
And so make it very so so the
point I'm trying to make is that be
conscious and be well aware of the wills
that we, prepare. Online wills are useless.
There's not a single will that I've come
across online, including ISNA's, with all due respect
to ISNA,
that is reliable and that can be used.
So
and there's a
there's a number of young Muslims,
out there, young Muslim lawyers that are preparing
wills for the Muslim community. So,
you know, utilize that. Make sure your will,
is prepared.
Khair, a person passing away. Once, if a
person is near one's death, if possible, if
possible, you have to keep things in mind.
You can't be in a hospital expecting the
whole bed to be turned around. Right? But
if it's possible,
face them towards the qiblah. There's 2 ways
of doing this.
Either,
their their head is somewhat raised facing the
qiblah
or they're sleeping they're lying down in a
in a in a way where their right
side is facing the qibla as a person
is is buried. So face them towards the
qibla.
The prophet alaihis salaam is narrated to have
said, remind
the dying individual of the shahada. You would
never it would be incorrect just to tell
a dying person to say the Shahada.
You wouldn't tell a dying person, say
That is incorrect
because the pangs of death, the prophet
is narrated to have said,
verily, there are pains, difficulties
at the time of death. The prophet alaihis
salatu wasalam himself
experienced the difficulties at the time of death,
and so the prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam teaches
us that in that moment of pain and
anguish, it's possible a person
may deny saying the shahada.
Right? May deny it because of the pain
that they're going through us. Say would say
something like, be quiet. I don't wanna hear
it or something along those lines. And that's
why one is to never
tell a dying person
to say
You would simply go close to the dying
person
and continue reciting
so that they can hear it. We're also
reminded
that,
the person who is passing away close by
them, the prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam recommended
that Surah Yacine be recited by the living
individuals at the bedside of the individual who
is passing away
in order to make it easy for that
individual.
If for whatever reason that person has wronged
you, has done something to you, forgive them
at that moment so that their passing from
this life into the next life becomes
easy. Right? Because if someone holds a grudge,
that could make it difficult for a person
to pass on into the next life.
Once a person has said the shahada, if
you hear them say the shahada,
all conversations
should be seized.
That's it. Everyone remains silent.
Right? No one. Even if the long lost
child who hasn't seen the parent for 50
years shows up,
that child is not as important as their
shahadat that they've just recited.
You want the final words of an individual
to be.
So keep this in mind because it's very,
again, I get to see people dying, and
it's very common for a lot of family
members to be present. A person has said
their shahada, and then this daughter who lives
in another state, a son who lives far
away, a grandchild who just flies in, wants
to meet that individual. Oh, look who's here.
Ibrahim is here. Fatima's here. Aisha's here. No.
Ibrahim, Fatima, and Aisha don't matter anymore.
There's there's a much greater journey that is
let's save the questions till the end, but
write them down. I don't wanna I don't
want you to
forget. So Ibrahim, Fatima, and Ahmed don't matter.
What matters is.
So now it's very possible
that a person may not say those words,
Allah forbid, but that that should not be
taken as any negative sign. That's between an
individual and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. They might
have said it in their heart. They might
have said it before they went to sleep
and so on and so forth. But our
responsibility is to remind them of of of
the shahada. Don't ask them to repeat it
after you.
It's common. I've seen again very common that
family members leave iPods behind,
in the hospitals,
that are, you know, Surah Yaseen repeat on
that individual,
which is perfectly fine. There's no harm in
doing so, but but there's nothing like a
live person reciting Yassin
even if it takes an hour versus an
ipod playing Surah Yassin. Right? There's it's there's
the Baraka, the essence is is different.
Being close to a dying person, one should
family members should be silent.
They should not be crying.
That person
Moments before an individual's death, that person is
no longer with you. They're in a different
realm.
They're in a different realm. They see angels.
They will literally see angels coming to them.
Right? And if they are if they are
pious,
then their soul will leave this dunya with
ease. And if they're not, may Allah forbid,
there will be difficulty.
Right? There will be difficulty. And, again, I
I I I have to cover my material.
I don't have time to tell you stories,
but I I I do recall I I
know of 2 deaths
where
family members
who experienced
that dying person
remained almost in fear for days on end.
One of them was an adult
who experienced
a friend of his passing away
who died who died with much much difficulty
and may Allah protect us all from a
difficult death, Amin.
But he he experienced that, and for days,
he he was he's a grown adult, a
very strong man,
not just physically, but he's a very strong
individual.
He would not go to the bathroom without
leaving the door, open. He would leave the
door open. That's how much fear he had.
He was just he was really affected by
it. So may Allah protect us from a
painful death,
So one should one should be calm, collective
to the and if you're going to crying
is normal,
but if you're gonna cry with a lot
of noise, then one should step out of
the room or or so. There's there's a
certain adab
and it's good it's good that we're discussing
this now because these things are very difficult
to discuss when someone else someone's passing away.
Right? I've I've learned
that,
when people once a person passes away during
the washing and during the burial, that's really
not the time to correct people.
We had a jaundice, I think, in in
Ramadan 2 2, 3 weeks ago, and there
were certain minor mistakes that were being made
and people were starting to become concerned.
And, really, it was Ramadan. People needed to
get home for Iftar and so on and
so forth, and I I made a very
loud announcement. I said, this is not the
time to ask fiqh questions.
The time to ask fiqh questions was before
you passed away, before the individual. Right now,
we just need to get that person buried
inside their grave and move on to the
next life, and then we can go back
and learn fiqh. You should have learned this
earlier on. Otherwise, there was all these questions
people were flying around.
As I mentioned earlier, forgive the dying person,
you know, for the forgive the dying individual,
and one should do the same. If people
have wronged us,
let them be with the law. Just forgive
people and move on.
When the person passes away saying,
seizing all recitation of the Quran. Right? Once
a person passes away, you don't recite any
Quran until after the person is washed, the
kafan is put on.
If the eyes are open, close the person's
eyes. If the mouth is open, close the
person's mouth. If the arms are bent, make
the make sure the arms are straight. If
the feet are not straight, make sure the
feet are straight.
Cover them.
If a person's mouth keeps opening, it would
be permissible to tie the mouth, right, with
with
cover the body with a clean sheet,
try your best not to cry. Again, as
I mentioned, if you're going to cry, try
not to do it in the same room
as the deceased individual.
Remember, the the body is the body is
no longer functioning, but the and the soul
still has a connection with the body that
will remain until the end of time.
Whether the body remains or not,
whether the because it's a common quest there
have been people who chose to be cremated
simply that if there's no existence of myself,
god can't punish me. This this is what
people would say, that I I wanna be
cremated, so god can't punish me.
People ask and say, what if you drown
at sea? What happens? You know, there's no
body anymore. Everything
dissolves.
How can God punish me or how can
how can I receive the nirma? That's that's
that's the will of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
That's the will of and the body remains
to have a connection whether the body remains
or not,
but there's see there's a there's a connection
with the ruh at all times, and so
one should be one should be conscious of
that.
Hasten in preparation,
trying to do things at we discussed this
briefly yesterday, but trying to complete the formalities
as soon as possible.
Right? Waiting for individuals
is incorrect. Just know that as a rule.
Waiting for anyone is incorrect.
Right? As soon as a person passes away,
whatever legal formalities need to be completed, they
should be completed. As soon as they are
completed.
The body should be washed, wrapped in a
coffin, and immediately taken to burial as soon
as possible. That's Islam. That's what the prophet
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam teaches us.
Washing,
of course, men wash by men, women wash
by women. The first preference is given to
the most immediate
relatives.
There's a great reward in washing individuals.
If this is something that you think you
can handle,
then,
this is something that you should volunteer to
do. Right? One thing something that one should
volunteer to do in your local Masajid, in
your local, communities.
A lot of people shy away from this.
A lot of people are some people can't
handle it, which is perfectly fine. If you
can't handle it, you can't handle it. But
if you think you can, there's great reward
in doing so.
At one of our Masajid locally, we have
a whole list of about 20 to 25
male and female volunteers,
and as soon as someone passes away, they
have a list, an email goes out
and,
you know, people just respond and they just
show up,
some from work, some from home, however it
is.
Not an easy time. Ker,
organ donation,
a lot of people wanna talk about organ
donation. This is a very very lengthy topic.
There's a lot of calaf on this issue.
In brief,
there are
opinions,
valid opinions
on both sides.
Though it seems the divide has become sort
of much of the olema of the Indo
subcontinent
versus the olema of the Arab world, the
olema of the subcontinent
are very very wary, and they they say
that, it is,
incorrect. It would be impermissible to donate any
organs of your body after passing away.
Whereas the ulama and again, I'm I'm being
very general here,
but the ulama of the other world are
generally of the opinion
that organs can be donated after a person
passes away. So ultimately, the decision becomes yours.
Me personally, because I do come from the
subcontinent, I've studied in the subcontinent primarily,
I personally am the of of the opinion
that organ donation is is not allowed.
And so, again, we can talk about this
forever, but we don't have we we won't
go into this.
Washing,
there's a whole method. There's there's just a
whole
process of washing,
laying the body down, putting the body in
a flat surface,
removing the clothing, but doing it in such
a way where the private parts of the
males and the females are not exposed,
not talking during the process, not reciting during
the reciting Quran during the process.
If one were to see
anything on an individual's body on the dying
person's on the and the deceased person's body,
never to share that with anyone. There's a
lot of. It's an. If you see something
to not to not share that,
with anyone.
I've had one instance in all these years
where a friend of mine,
washed another mutual friend of ours,
who had died at the age of 26,
and, he just couldn't hold it in. He
just had to tell someone.
And and he told he he came to
me and said I I I just need
to I feel I need to tell someone
and he ended up telling me, and it
was it was it was a very difficult,
you know, what what he experienced was was
not,
something nice at all and so it's in
a manner. One should be conscious. One should
be aware of this.
The hosul the hosul is a whole process
altogether. I'm not gonna go into it. I
I unfortunately don't have time, but pressing the
stomach,
washing the private parts,
making sure that you do wudu,
you know, a wudu, a formal wudu is
done.
You don't put any water in the mouth.
You don't put any water in the mouth.
You take a cotton ball and clean the
mouth.
Washing the entire body 3 times.
There's a whole method,
and if you are if you're interested, you
should learn how to do so. Right? Like
as I mentioned, there's a great reward,
in doing so. Then, of course, putting on
the guffin.
And the guffin in and of itself
is a whole,
process altogether.
Men, 3 pieces of cloth. Women, 5 pieces
of cloth. The preference is white, though if
it was of a different color, it would
still be allowed. So know that it would
be allowed. The preference though, the sunnah,
is white,
and and the body is is covered.
Viewing the body.
K? Seeing the dying deceased in permissible.
K? Permissible after a person is washed,
the coffin is put on.
If people wish to see the deceased,
they can do so. If they wish not
to, there's no harm.
You're not
you shouldn't force anyone to see the deceased.
K? One should never force anyone to see
the deceased. If they if they wish to,
they can do so. Men can see men
as far as women.
You know, only women can see women. If
it's a,
they can see the women,
but,
there's there's no harm in seeing and I
the reason I mentioned this is again because
Muslims in the United States are from so
many different backgrounds.
I tell people just as I have seen
every type of possible Muslim wedding, I have
seen every type of possible Muslim,
funeral, and every funeral has its own unique
taste.
K. Every and and I I won't even
generalize with people from certain countries.
I mean, people from certain parts of certain
countries will do things differently at bur at
burials and and funerals. So and, you know,
as an imam, you really have to be
open minded. You can't call you can't say
everything is haram, haram, haram as many people
do so. I mean, this is part of
their tradition,
and so you have to understand that.
Yet at the same time, so if you
if one wishes to view
a deceased person,
they can do so.
Mourning is for 3 days only.
Mourning is for 3 days only.
I know in certain traditions, mourning goes on
and on and on for days on end
where people continue to especially if you're back
home,
visitors continue. It's it's okay to visit an
individual's
family or household if you haven't visited them,
but because where I come from in India,
family members come to your house the day
of the death, they come the next day,
they come the day after, and then all
of a sudden they just come every day.
Everyone comes recite either just me who recites
the Quran and almost becomes like,
you know,
an obligation
or sort of like a social gathering for
almost 3, 4, 5 weeks. Right, and and
up to the 40th day. The 40th day
has no specific religious significance in Islam,
and so I remember arriving at my house
in India on the 2nd or 3rd day
after my grandfather passed away,
and
on on the evening of 3rd day, I
just made an announcement. I said from tomorrow,
I don't want anyone to come to our
house to mourn. Tomorrow, you can come and
visit us, you can talk to us, but
mourning is over now.
Of course, a lot of relatives got very
upset,
and they all went and complained to my
father
and,
my father just remained silent,
which means
I won. But really, it it's it becomes
it's if you come if you're from certain
parts of the world,
there's so many rituals that are just incorrect.
Now if someone wishes to come and make
Dua no harm.
Right?
In fact, for almost a year, people would
come to our house here in England,
and and, you know, just make dua. They
hadn't met us, so they would come and,
you know, they would come and make dua.
There's no harm in doing so, but perpetual
mourning for days on end or weeks on
end is incorrect.
Then there's this tradition where you can't cook
in the deceased's house for 3 days. Incorrect.
Incorrect. You can cook. You can make tea.
I just sometimes feel that it's a cop
out. No one wants to cook, so they
figure out, okay, we can
no, like, on a very serious note. You
can cook. You can make chai. You can
you know, there's no so I where I
come from again is another part of tradition
where, oh, you can't cook for 3 days.
I don't know where people get this.
Right? So being being aware of this, you
know, you can cook.
Also,
taking flowers.
Taking flowers is not an Islamic tradition.
Taking flowers is not an Islamic tradition, and
this is something that I'm working on so
hardly. I tell people, don't bring flowers to
a funeral.
K? You're wasting $10. Now if you're going
to a funeral of a person of another
faith, where taking flowers is part of the
tradition, sure, no harm in doing so. If
someone from another faith brings flowers to a
Muslim's funeral because that's how they express their
condolences, no harm in doing so. But for
a Muslim to bring flowers to a Muslim's
funeral, incorrect. You've just wasted $10. If it
was me, I'd rather stopped at a red
light light and give in $10 to a
homeless person to buy a meal or a
drink,
and and relate the tawab and the reward
of that to the dying person. There's more
merit in that than bringing flowers to the
funeral.
What is found in the sunnah is that
after a person is buried, to grow something
on the grave, not laying down flowers. I've
seen these people lay out flowers. Those flowers
are gonna wilt and die in 2 days.
In fact, the
person, the caretaker of the funeral the the
graveyard hates it. He goes, Imam Saab, tell
these people to not bring these flowers. I
have to clean it up after 2, 3
days. Right? What's found in the sunnah is
growing a tree. What's found in the sunnah
is growing grass, because that green, that living
will make just be,
and and the deceased that in that grave
will will receive the azure and reward of
that. So so being aware of that, you
know, I mean, it's just a waste waste
of money.
Burial. Well, well, let's
okay. So you wash and then, of course,
you naturally may put the body
in a coffin.
A coffin is not required.
If there was a coffin for whatever reason,
it's perfectly fine. There's no, you know, there
people shouldn't get,
hung up over issues like this,
although the preference is to not use a
coffin. But in certain states, in certain countries,
it may be a requirement.
I was just dealing with some Muslims in
Idaho in Ramadan
and they purchased their first and only,
Muslim, you know, graveyard
and,
the the the county or the state government
mandated for them to use coffins. And, you
know, I mean, it's it's a process. Right?
And every by the way, it's not just
for Muslims. It's for everyone. It's part of
their mandate. So it may be something that
they work on. In in in the state
of California,
we don't we're we are allowed to not
use coffins. We use a cardboard
box or a coffin or whatever to to
take the deceased to the graveyard. When we
get to the graveyard, we open up the
cardboard box, and we take the body and
put it directly into the grave. But what
you will find in California that you may
not find in other states is that there's
a concrete vault inside there.
K? There's a large
is is is it the same on the
East Coast? Yeah. Yeah. We have concrete vaults,
and the body goes inside the concrete vault.
Once the body's inside, everyone moves away. A
big tractor comes and puts a big cover,
a big concrete cover that only a tractor
can lift on top of that.
It's a requirement due to earthquakes and floods
and landslides.
So yes, we can opt to not have
a coffin, but so there are certain requirements,
legal requirements that need to be fulfilled. Now
what's again,
I I I have so many I went
to a graveyard once.
The vault is usually about
maybe 2 feet high. I'm being a little
generous,
About 2 feet high. The body's put inside
the vault, and then it's on covered on
top. I went to a graveyard
once where the vault was, like, 3 and
a half feet, 4 feet high.
And it was so difficult to bury the
deceased inside because, you know, if the vault
is only 2 feet, it's much easier for
people who've been to burials. You know, you
can easily this is a vault this high.
You're trying to get the body inside.
And so I I remained silent.
And then afterwards,
I went to the non Muslim funeral director,
and I inquired. I said, why are your
vault so deep? He goes, oh, your community
requested this. I said, why would we request
this? Well, he goes, maybe it's something like
after they die because they sit up when
the angels come, and they need room to
sit
up. It's a true story. I can tell
you the name of the graveyard is, oh,
god. I'm forgetting now.
Lone Tree Cemetery in Hayward, California.
Right? It's this is what they told me,
and there's there's hundreds of graves that have
these really high vaults.
And and I tried to explain
the the imam who's sort of in charge
of that, and he just never got the
point. He says, no. No. No. No. They
have to sit up. They need room.
You know, I said, you know, they really
don't need room, they're in a different realm
altogether.
I've always I've always told, you know, subhanallah,
once you once you enter into the grave,
once you pass away, it's a different life
altogether. Once you go into the grave, it's
a different life altogether. You start seeing things
and experiencing things that you never did before.
Right? That's the eternal life. You get to
see angels, the creation of Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
So so coffins. Right? You can, if you
wish to, you can opt out if you'd
like.
According to the Hanafi school of thought, salatul
janazah,
inside a masjid is makruh and disliked.
And the reason behind Yeah. It's very common
in America. The reason behind that is because
there could be impurities on the body that
may come out into the masjid. That's why
in the Hanafi school, it's and disliked. And
so I've I learned something which was really
really cool. I went to doctor Musa Amulsedikh,
uncle's masjid,
some years ago in Southern California,
and the mihrab was really nice and beautiful,
and there was a stained glass, and I
kinda went close to the stained glass in
the mihrab to touch it and feel it,
and it shook.
I was like, oh, why is it shaking?
You know? Know, there's no one in the
masjid, so I could do whatever I wanted
to,
and and so I I shook it, and
I realized it was a door, and it
it slid.
So the door slid open and I found
another room in front of the mihrab
with a big door on the side. And
so it's really cool when when they they
bring in janazas, everyone remains right where they
are. The janazas doesn't come inside the masjid.
It remains outside the masjid, and they just
open these 2 big doors, bring the janazas
in, And then in front of the mihrab
where the imam stands, they just open the
stained glass door, and they just pray jeanasa
janaza from inside there. Right? So the masjid
that we're constructing in San Jose, we're doing
the exact same thing now.
Right? So you you don't have to say
if you're ever constructing a masjid,
you know, it's you you need more than
engineers and doctors,
when you're constructing a masjid. You need imams
as well.
As far as far as leading Salatul Jannaza,
if there is a if there is an
immediate relative,
you're killing me with this.
If there's an immediate relative who is capable
of leading the prayer, then,
they can and should lead the prayer. The,
the closeness felt by a relative,
is more than,
anyone else.
Though,
according to certain olamat, if there is a
pious person who may not be related to
the deceased,
some give preference to that because of their
piety and their acceptance of of dua.
Another very common thing that pea a lot
of Muslims don't know the dua of Janazah.
K. A lot of Muslims don't know. Like,
they don't even know how to pray Janaza.
It's really sad that every time I have
to lead a Janaza, I have to explain
how to do Janaza.
Right? People don't know.
And then,
the dua of Janazah. So if you don't
know the dua of Janazah, memorize it.
The the the coffin the coffin when praying
Salatul Janazah ideally should be on the ground.
But if it happens to be on a
stand,
there's no harm. The sunnah is for it
to be on the ground. The sunnah is
for the body to be on the ground.
We had a we had a case a
few a few years ago where,
a brother in our community was was shot
to death,
and many of his family members were not
Muslim, and they brought the the coffin to
the masjid.
And when they brought the coffin to the
masjid, the coffin was on the ground. And
so the imam of their community said that
we should put the coffin on a stand
because in the community where I come from,
if you put the coffin on the ground,
it's a sign of disrespect to the deceased.
And the funeral director of that masjid almost
had a fight with this imam,
And I got very angry. I told his
brother, I said, you need to understand that
more than half of the family are people
of other faiths who, you know, are probably
experiencing a Muslim funeral for the first time,
and it's not a hard set rule where
the coffin has the sunnah is for it
to be on the ground. We understand that.
But if a certain portion of our element
of our community
feels disrespect, then there's no harm in putting
the coffin on a stand, you know, just
to make people feel good and respected and
so on and so forth. The guy had
a the guy had a fight with the
imam. I got really upset, and so I
didn't get into the fight. I just picked
up the phone and called the president of
the masjid,
in which case I missed the salat al
janeza, but that's a different story.
According in the Hanafi school,
there's only 2 elements that are,
required in salatuljanazah,
the 4 takbiraat
and the qiyam, the standing. K. The 4
takbiraat and the qiyam standing. Everything else is
considered to be a sunnah. The method of
janazah in the Hanafi school is to raise
your hands, say, and
tie your hands. After that, all the way
through the end of the salatul janazah, you
don't raise your hands.
K? They remain tied. After the 1st takbira
in the Hanafi school, you recite.
After the 2nd Takbir, salat alarasu Allahumma salaam
ala Muhammad and then allah Mubarakalam Muhammad. After
the 3rd Takbir,
the dua of Janaza, allahummafil hayinaumayitina,
and then after the 4th Takbir, salaam to
the right and salaam to the left. In
the Shafi'i school,
after the 1st tikbir, you recite Surat al
Fatiha. After the 2nd tikbir, as is salat
alar Rasul. After the 3rd tikbir, dua for
the deceased.
After the 4th tikbir, dua for the mayyid,
and then salaam.
Right?
Both methods are are valid. Also, in the
Shafi'i school, you raise your hands to your
ears each time. In the Hanafi school, you
don't. You they just remain,
tied.
I was at a janazah once where,
you know, if you if you're formally re
praying janazah that's not inside the masjid, it's
in another area, that the rows are close
to each other. Right? They're maybe a feet
apart, a foot apart because you don't have
to make such that. I recall someone saying
very an older elderly uncle saying, oh, brother,
stand far apart. How are we gonna make
sajdah?
It's a true story. Right? Which just goes
to prove, miss King, he probably never prayed
janazah in his life, and this is the
first one.
Carrying the janazah after salah hits sunnah. It's
preferred to carry the janazah,
reciting
all along.
The sunnah is to
okay.
We're talking about carrying. It's okay. We'll continue.
The sunnah is to
the sunnah is to carry the coffin or
the janaza on your right shoulder. Right? So
to the left of the janaza on starting
with your right, 10 steps on this shoulder
on the right side, and then 10 steps
on the back, and then 10 steps on
the front, on this shoulder, and then 10
steps on the back. That's 40 steps. That's
the sunnah, if it's possible.
If it's not possible, then so be it.
Women cannot and should not carry the janazah.
Upon entering the cemetery, there's a very specific
salam that should be made to the deceased.
Memorize that salaam.
Alright. This at our cemetery, Insha'Allah, I'm have
I'm I'm ensuring that this dua is posted
at the cemetery. Just don't fall on me.
That the if you are in charge of
a community where you have a cemetery,
make sure you have the adab of the
cemetery posted at the entrance of the cemetery.
Allah will reward you for this. And if
Allah has given you the financial ability to
do so, pay for it as well. Right?
But as the dua most people don't know
the dua when you enter the cemetery. There's
a specific dua to be made when you
enter specific salaam to be made to the
deceased in the cemetery in which you are
making
for them. You're making
for yourself, and you're reminding yourself that you
will be joining them soon. Mhmm. Right?
We will be joining you by the will
of Allah.
Don't step on graves, another very common mistake
that people make. Right? Most people know this
is this is a problem. Most people know,
but, a, either they they're not conscious of
this when they go to the graveyard,
and b, they don't teach their children. My
biggest problem is not teaching children.
Right now, when we have funerals in the
community and they happen to be on the
weekend, I take my children with the intention
of teaching them.
Yeah. With the intention of teaching them, saying
the dua with them when we enter into
the graveyard,
making sure that they're not stepping on graves,
going from the graves
of friends. I don't have any relatives, but
friends,
not in America that have been buried, But,
you know, friends' graves, my father's friends' graves,
and making dua for each of them, you
know, by the time the the janaza
arrives.
As far as putting the body inside the
grave, there are two methods of doing so.
One is to take it from the side
of the because the the deceased is buried
facing the qibla.
So taking putting the putting the box or
whatever the the deceased is being carried on
on the side of the qibla and then
taking them into the grave. And another opinion
is to take them from the side of
the feet, by putting the coffin putting them
by the feet and then slowly sliding them
in and then into the grave.
Once the coffin or the deceased is put
inside the grave, the sunnah is to put
3 handfuls of dirt into the grave.
This is not done on the body.
There are some people in some communities where
they actually put dirt on the body
to the extent where they will remove the
cover of the coffin and put dirt on
that's incorrect. That's disrespect.
Right? Making sure that either the coffin is
covered or the covering of the vault is
put on, and then you put 3 handfuls
of dirt. The sunnah is to recite the
ayah,
1 handful of dirt, from this we created
you. Well, second handful of dirt,
to this we return you. And 3rd handful
of dirt,
and from this, you will again be recreated.
That's the sunnah of the prophet
These are things, duas, and ayahs we need
to learn. These are not for other people.
These are all for us.
The sunnah is for the for the graves
to look like the hump of a camel
if it's possible to do so.
In some cases, it is. In other cases,
it isn't.
There's no harm in putting a headstone at
the at the gravesite at the gravesite.
Once a person passes away, it is found
in the sunnah that the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wasallam recited
from Suratul Fatiha.
And
then by the headside,
and then he
moved over to the footside
on by the feet and recited
until the end of the Surah and then
made dua for the deceased. There's no harm
in doing so. This is found in the
hadith, and if someone tells you it's incorrect
to do so, don't listen to them.
I'm just I'm being very brief. The prophet
reminds us that once a person is buried
for as long as it takes for an
individual
to walk 40 steps how long does it
take to walk 40 steps?
Anyone guess? 15 seconds. Yeah. 15, 20 seconds.
That's all. Pretty much that's all. For as
long for as long as it takes to
walk, 40 steps is passed. Once a person
is buried, 2 angels will come to that
individual, to that deceased individual.
They will come back to life, and when
they come back to life, they will ask
the questions.
Manrabbuk
Madinuk, who is your lord? What is your
faith?
And that's why the ulama mentioned 2 things.
We find 2 things in the hadith of
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
1 hadith in one hadith, you find that
the prophet
stood by the gravesite
and spoke to the dying individual and reminded
them
that when the angels come to you and
they ask you, who is your lord? Say,
my lord.
When they ask you about the prophet,
say that my,
Nabi is the prophet Muhammad.
You also find in another tradition that the
prophet
reminded the close friends and family members to
stand by the gravesite for a few moments,
for a few minutes, making dua for that
individual. Because ultimately, that is the deciding factor.
Right? That's the deciding. If you succeed there,
you will continue to succeed all the way
into paradise. And if Allah forbid one fails
there, then they will continue failing until they
enter into the hellfire unless there's some mercy
of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So one needs
so, again, when a person is buried, don't
just start walking away. If you're a close
friend or a family member, remain by the
gravesite for a few minutes and make dua
for that individual.
Okay.
Okay.
It is women are allowed to go to
the graveyard.
K? It's permissible for women to go to
the graveyard, except the ottama mentioned that they
should be in a state of purity if
they go to the graveyard. There's no harm
in going. There's a hadith in which the
prophet reminds us that the women shouldn't go
to the graveyard, but then there's another hadith
that abrogates the hadith in which the prophet
says that I used to discourage you from
going no one wants to mention that hadith.
I used to discourage you from going to
the graveyard, but now I allow you to
go to the graveyard.
So women can go to the graveyard. Women
can go to burials as well. I just
like to tell people
that make sure that the men are with
the men and the women are with the
women. As long as, you know, the genders
are separated,
and there's certain there's a certain level of
adab, there's no harm in doing so. If
anyone is going to wail and cry at
a funeral or a burial,
then they should not go close to the
grave. Because remember, as I mentioned, the the
body still has a connection
with the.
The can feel and hear and see the
crying of individuals,
and that hurts the individual.
K? That hurts the individual. It makes it
difficult for that person. So there should be
crying is natural. Wailing is not.
Crying is not the prophet, alayhis salatu was
salam, cried at the passing of his son,
Ibrahim.
In certain narrations, it's mentioned that the prophet,
alayhis salam, cried
at the passing of his wife, Khadija, but
he did not wail. He did not scream.
That is not allowed.
And then to go to the graveyard,
there's no harm in I I, you know,
I come from a tradition where women don't
go to the graveyard, period,
and I find that detrimental.
I believe that everyone needs to the grave
go to the graveyard to remind themselves of
death.
You know, it's it's crucial.
What else can you do for the deceased?
And I'm gonna end with this before I
take your questions.
Continue making dua for the deceased
regularly.
The best
form
of giving them or granting them reward, Azure
Tawab, is as my father says, reciting Surah
Al Ikhlas for them 3 times every day
3 times every day.
Or if you can recite
for them every day.
My father tells us
2 things. He goes to my mother my
my grandma passed away in 1989. He goes,
there hasn't been a day since she passed
away in 1989, and I have not recited
a Surah Yassin for her. K?
And then he instructs us and says that
I I require for you to recite Yassin
for me every day
from the day I pass away until the
day you pass away. If you don't,
you will be answerable to Allah on the
day of judgment.
These are his sons. He has every right
to make that request.
But, you know, we we I come from
a tradition where the deceased
are remembered once a year. Quran at the
home,
big you're the host is more worried about
catering the food and moving the furniture
than praying for their own parent.
Right? And you expect others to recite Quran
for your parents. Mm-mm.
No. You pray for them. Pray for them
daily, even if it's only reciting
3 times daily. That's more valuable than having
a Quran
once a year for your parent.
You wanna feed people? Feed the poor and
needy in our communities.
Alright? Feed the homeless. Feed the poor and
needy and grant the reward and the azure
of the of that to to your to
your deceased
family members, parents. Allah is very kind. Allah
is very merciful.
Allah does not,
distribute the reward. Allah doesn't cut up you
recite 1 yasin. Allah won't cut up the
reward of that. Say, this is for my
father. You know, if you make you can
recite 1 yasin
and relate the salawab of that to the
entire ummah, and Allah will give the reward
of that entire ummah to the entire ummah.
Allah will not cut it up in 20,000,000,000
pieces as human beings do and then say,
okay, here is a portion of this reward.
No, Allah doesn't do that. Allah is very
merciful. So being aware of that, being conscious
of that. So I'm gonna stop here. I
know there may be questions. I'm assuming there's
questions. So let's get through the questions inshallah.
Yes, brother.
Yes.
You're gonna have to be loud.
Yes.
No. It does matter. We find in the
Hadith
Muhammad or Rasulullah.
Now, again, that person may not know and
so on and so forth, but as long
as the prophet
there's 2 hadith.
Whosoever says
will enter into paradise. In another hadith, the
prophet says,
whosoever's final words are will enter into paradise.
The prophet
also reminds us that for anyone who uses
a siwak
will be will be will have the ability
and the tawfiq to remember the Shahadah at
the time of passing away. Now, you can
be the modern American Muslim and say that
I'm gonna use a toothbrush and it's the
same thing, but the siwak is the actual
sunnah, and so, you know, there's no harm.
I I have I have a toothbrush as
well, and I have my Sensodyne
toothpaste,
but next to it is my siwak. And
I do use my siwak at least once,
if not twice a day, just with the
intention of the sunnah that this is what
the prophet did, and I wanna do, to
the best of my ability, as closest to
what the prophet
did.
So, keeping that in mind. Have I answered
your question?
Not really.
Your question was, does it have to be
just Is it more important
to have said, Laila, Ilaha, or to have
said the whole
Muhammadur Rasulullah.
We find from our traditions that the Ulamat
mentioned is the whole thing. Although the Hadith
certain Hadith only say La ilaha ilaha ilaha.
Right? But again, it's with a what's what's
re what the reality is what's in the
heart, and that will emanate on the tongue.
Yes.
Go ahead. Life support.
You Allah.
Okay.
You know, it's it's a very scary question.
As the Imam of a very large Masjid,
you have to you end up making the
decision for so many people,
and it's a very difficult decision.
The general ruling is that if an,
Tabibun Hadibun Muslimun,
an experienced
Muslim
doctor
tells you that there is no life left
in this individual,
then it would be perfectly permissible to pull
a person off of life support.
I am generally of the opinion
that if and it's sometimes difficult to find
a Muslim doctor, and we live in the
United States where doctors are usually scared of
being sued if they do something wrong in
malpractice,
so I'm usually assuming that they will give
you the right advice.
And if they do, hopefully,
you know, if a physician tells you that,
you know, this person may live and come
back to life,
you keep them on life support. But if
they tell you that, you know, this is
pretty much it, then one should pull them
off of life support
and not not let that person suffer.
I've seen a lot of I had one
situation where,
someone close to me,
I I you know, he came to me
and said, you know,
my mother is passing away. You know, this
is what the doctors are telling me. What
should I do? I said, pull her off
the life support. Right? I I knew what
she was going through. I said, just pull
her off the life support. They didn't have
the guts to do so, and they kept
her on life support for 9 months, during
which she remained unconscious for 9 months. She
was being fed. There was a hole, and
she was being fed. After 9 months, she
passed away. She was buried. This person then
came to me and said, I wish I'd
have taken your advice.
So it's a very difficult decision to make,
but, ultimately, that's what it comes down to.
If there's signs of life
and signs of health, it keeps a person
on life support. Otherwise, there's no harm in
pulling that person off of life support.
I just had a very, very, very close
friend of ours. In fact, my brothers and
I lived with her for 6 weeks when
my parents went for Hajj in 1984. She
lives in San Diego, or she used to
live in San Diego. For 6 weeks, we
lived there. I was I was I don't
know how old I was.
I was 6, and my youngest brother was
only 6 months old. We lived with her
for 6 weeks.
A few months ago, she had a she
just, all of a sudden, had some chest
pains, ended up at the hospital. Doctor says
we just need to put in 2 stents,
and then you'll be okay. During the procedure,
she suffered a heart attack. There was some
complications, and she was she went on life
support.
And she had made it very, very clear
to her children and her brother, primarily her
brother, that if she were to ever go
on life support, she should be pulled off
immediately.
And that's what happened. She got pulled off
immediately, and she passed away. She was not
too old either.
Yeah. Put it in your will. Yeah. But,
honestly, like, instruct people. Yes. It's a very
good idea to put in your will, but
let people around you know. Again, this goes
right back to our conversation yesterday, having that
conversation.
Right? Yes. Any questions on the system? Yes.
You're not reciting anything. Question is, in between
a person being dying and them being washed,
what should you recite, if anything? The answer
is nothing.
Yes.
Again,
there's no there's no hard and set yeah.
There's no hard and set rule,
but generally, with the what we understand from
the hadith is very, very soon.
K? Now whether it's the first shovel of
dirt, last shovel of dirt, the grass being
put on, there's no clear indication. But it's
it's happening right around that time. It's it's
happening within minutes. Usually, by the time, if
you happen to be the first one to
leave after a burial to get to your
car, that person's probably being questioned.
You may be busy checking your text messages
and your voice mails because you missed them
for the last hour or 2. You don't
realize that your best friend is probably going
through the most important
exam of their life.
And, you know, I've I've never forgotten this.
My grandfather and my brother, they used to
sit across from each other after Asul. My
grandfather was a very strict principled man. On
the on the flip side, his brother was
very chill. They were both.
And so, when we used to have exams,
the tradition was we would go to them
after and request them to make dua for
us, say, you know, make dua for me.
My grandfather, on the one hand, would say,
I hope it's very difficult.
And my grandfather's brother, on the flip side,
would always say, why would you wanna make
it difficult? And his and this is what
literally he would say. He would say, humanity
knows the questions that they're going to be
asked inside the grave, and they're still not
preparing for it. And these kids don't even
know what's gonna be on their finals tomorrow.
That that's all he would say. And then
he would say a dua and said, go.
Run. We were little kids. It never made
sense to us then. Now as we get
older, you know, you just reminisce that we
know exactly
what Allah will ask us in our graves.
Yeah. City hey. Can I get 2, 3
minutes of your time? Exactly. Jazakumullahqah.
For those of us who are congress, we
come from families,
and our moms, and parents, siblings, things of
that May Allah reward you.
So generally, out of respect, you do attend
the funeral. Right? That's a general opinion. There
are certain and certain scholars who will tell
you to not go at all. But if
it's your parent, it's your it's your brother,
it's your sister, so attend the burial, attend
the funeral, attend the burial, you just won't
take part in any of the religious practices.
Alright? But out of respect, you would.
So, like, versus my break camera passed away,
and I
have So you would just go and silently
observe. You would not take part, but out
of respect. Right? Just imagine. People need to
understand. Imagine being and maybe would wanna answer
this later on, but, you know, just imagine
being the only Muslim in your family and
not showing up to a funeral. I mean,
what kind of a dawah are we doing
to our family members? And and this was
this this
this this hit home to, for us some
years ago when my father's Hindu doctor passed
away.
And my father was very close to him.
Very. He would come to our house and
sit on the floor and eat with us
in in London.
When he passed away, my father my father
would always say, if there's one person in
my life for who's Hidayah I've made so
much dua forever is is my doctor.
He goes, I haven't made that much dua
for Hidayah for anyone. They were very close.
And when he passed away, my father was
was in pain, and my father went to
his funeral. And, you know, they cremated him.
My father just respectfully stood on one side,
paid his respects to the family,
and and he came home.
Yes.
Sheikh Abdul Fattah Abu Ghoda has a whole
chapter on condolences,
in his book Islamic Manners, and he generally
says that you should make you should say
things like, we pray to Allah that they
are in a better state. We pray to
Allah that they are in a good state
and things along those lines, but you can't
make dua for them. I'm saying it's a
it's a deceased Muslim that is standing not
Mhmm.
Just
just let them know exactly what you're doing.
Say you were saying a prayer for your
deceased friend.
Yeah. Yes. There's a lot of questions. Yes.
Naima.
You have freedom in choosing whatever kind of
headstone you want. I like to tell people
don't put any anything in Arabic or Quranic
ayahs on it because people will trample over
them.
Right? If if they're standing up, most grave
certain graveyards have headstones standing up.
To some degree, that's okay. But in in
many graveyards now, they actually have them laying
flat on the ground. People put pictures of
their parents
and write verses of the Quran
saying Bismillah,
Allah, Mohammed, and then there's a that's happening
and people are stepping over it. It's disrespect.
Disrespect. No. Just let grass grow on it.
Yeah.
Yes.
So the question was that when a husband
passes away, can the wife see the husband
or not?
Or vice versa. Yeah. There's a difference of
opinion there. Siriyyah, is there any difference between
the Shafi'i school?
Permissible.
Right? Yeah.
Yeah. In the Hanafi school, there are certain,
certain opinions in which you would say
oh,
ish I'm sorry.
He said that in the shafariz school, it's
perfectly allowed. There's no yeah. Is that what
I
yes.
The women folk would come in and see
Yeah. So in the Hanafi school, there are
different opinions.
The the predominant opinion that's practiced in the
Indo subcontinent is that you can't,
but it is allowed.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah. That's that's all you can do. Yes.
That's all you can do. There's only so
if the person continues to bleed after their
death or so on and so forth, then
you just have to make do with what
you have
and and and make that when we pass
away, our bodies don't go through such difficulties.
Yes.
No.
They can go to the burial. There's no
harm. I've had a situation once where certain
women,
wanted to put dirt in the grave as
well,
and became a little tricky and iffy, so
I just asked the brothers to move away
and let the sisters do that. I got
into a little bit of trouble after that,
but
I've had a situation once where a wife
insisted for 40 minutes that she wanted to
go inside the grave with her husband,
and everyone was saying no. Finally, there was
an imam with us who knew what was
happening. He simply said, you know what? It's
okay.
Let her if she wants to go, come
on, sister. I'll walk with you.
40 minutes. She'd actually delayed the burial by
40 minutes. This is a true story. So
the imam this imam, he was a little
experienced. He goes, here. I'll walk with you.
And she finally said no no no, it's
okay. You can bury him. It's you have
to understand,
it's it's a very very difficult time.
That's not the time to make and break
rules. It's just a time to
be with the situation, get done with it,
educate yourself beforehand as you're doing now so
that we don't make mistakes at the time.
Maybe I'll take 2, 3 more questions, and
then I'll end it. There's 2 questions on
the sister side.
1, 2, and 3, and we'll end it
with that. Yes. Now anyone, go ahead.
Yeah. If they're not in a state of
purity, the general opinion is that they shouldn't,
but if they do, again, it's not a
halal and haram. It's a preference versus non
preference.
Yes.
To the end of some of the end
of life issues that have been raised,
I know certain groups, institutions are trying to
publish medical ethics. Yes. They are. And, Are
they the same are the ones out of
Detroit?
I'm not sure. Okay. If if one is
interested in furthering that cause or, you know,
even creating a diversity of opinions in that,
manner, would you recommend a format in which
scholars and physicians or scientists combine efforts or
in which physicians or scientists became trained in
certain aspects of the study? Maybe a combined
effort would be would be ideal. And I
know they're doing something in
somewhere in Detroit. Doctor Asim Padilla is working
on some of these things.
If you want a specific contact information, I
I may have it on my phone and
I could possibly give you his email, but
I know he was working on it. Yes,
Tarasab. After the body is washed in the
casket, some
would I touch is that touching the body
is now?
You know, there's one instance we find in
the hadith where where
or we actually we find that Abu Bakr
radiAllahu anhu kissed the prophet sallallahu
so we find that in the hadith. I
don't know about the touching part.
There's no harm
kissing the forehead. Yeah. Yeah. I I when
one of our teachers passed away, a few
of our stew a few of the students
actually kissed our teacher's forehead,
you know, out of respect and out of,
Amaland, the hadith of the prophet.
Yeah.
The only parting advice that I would give
to you is learn, learn, and learn.
And especially when someone passes away, if there's
some something blatantly being done that is haram,
then point it out. But
otherwise
go with the flow because that's not the
time to correct people. You really have to
understand the situation that people are going through.