Suzy Ismail – #27 AsSami

Salam Alaikum, it's nice to see you all again as we continue to

discuss how we can bring the divine into the daily by

understanding the characteristics of Allah subhanaw taala and

incorporating those characteristics into our lives. So

the name that we're going to discuss today is SM er, which

means we're all hearing.

When we think about hearing and listening, that's one of the

topics that often comes up quite frequently in terms of

communication and miscommunication in the marital relationship. Many

times when we are speaking to our spouse, we may choose to hear what

we perceive, rather than to really listen and understand what is

being said. So for example, if we have already formulated an opinion

that our spouse is selfish, or our spouse is arrogant, or our spouse

is not supportive, then at moments when our spouse may be expressing

a certain emotion may be going through a difficult day, maybe

having a hardship, our reaction may be to project upon our spouse,

what we already perceive of them, rather than really listening to

what the person has to say. Thus, everything that comes out of the

spouse's mouth in that moment will be seen as proving that this

person is selfish, or proving this person is not supportive or

proving that this person doesn't care or is arrogant. And so we

wind up hearing what we want to hear, rather than really listening

to what is being sent. We often do the same thing with our children,

where we may hear their noise, their words, but because we've

already anticipated that they are saying the wrong things, or

they're going down the wrong path. We've concluded that we don't need

to listen until we hear the noise, but we don't listen to the words.

And we'll see this often when our children are younger, and they

enter into our car maybe after picking them up from school. And

they have so much that they want to say, but we hear it as noise

rather than listening to the emotion that may be behind it. And

again, when we shift back to the spouse, often times when someone

is seeking out empathy, when the words that they're saying are

simply a call for a reaction, like a hug, or a pat on the shoulder,

or a pat on the back, and we hear it instead as a complaint we hear

instead, as whining or as disagreement than our reaction to

that person is also going to be negative. So I pray that Allah

subhanaw taala is Semia allows us to become better at hearing what

needs to be heard, and listening to the words not just forming our

own conclusions, or judging based on our perceptions. Just a common

law here and I look forward to our next episode, as we continue to

bring the divine into the daily astrological