Suleiman Hani – The Power of Repentance- A Journey Back to Allah #09

Suleiman Hani
AI: Summary ©
The importance of reciting the Qwork for personal and daily life is discussed, as it is linked to a lifestyle and a lifestyle that is linked to their heart and life. The negative impact of forgiveness, including forgiveness of one who holds back one's anger and the one who takes, is discussed. The negative impact of forgiveness is discussed, including the negative impact of forgiveness on family members, particularly those who are oppressed and hurt, and the importance of forgiveness is emphasized.
AI: Transcript ©
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Bismillah wa alhamdulillah wa salatu wa salamu ala

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rasulillah wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa man

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wala We begin in the name of Allah,

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the ever-merciful, the all-forgiving, the creator,

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the sustainer, the maintainer of the heavens and

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the earth and all that is in between.

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We ask Allah to send his peace and

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his blessings upon his messenger Muhammad ﷺ and

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all who follow him until the end of

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times.

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We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to

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send down his swift justice and his relief

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and his peace to our brothers and sisters

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in Gaza and Palestine and all around the

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world and in Sudan as well.

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Sometimes when people take a detour, when they

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make a mistake, they try their absolute best.

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You'll notice in their response, their reaction, they

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will do everything to get back to the

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place they were trying to go.

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Other people you'll notice are a little less

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concerned.

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They'll put in a little effort but they're

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not that afraid, it's not that urgent.

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And then some people we may notice, may

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Allah protect us, they don't care at all.

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They've fallen off the path, they've taken a

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detour, they made a mistake, they don't try

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to correct at all.

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There's no remorse, there's no attempt whatsoever.

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There's a very beautiful story from the early

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generations of Islam about a man who later

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on became a very notable scholar.

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He became a very righteous Muslim and his

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story is very famous and he is Al

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-Fudail, rahimahullah.

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Al-Fudail, when he was younger, he used

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to be a highway robber.

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In other words, he was a robber, people

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were afraid.

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Highway robbers were people who used to be

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in between the cities and anytime someone would

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come by or a caravan would come by

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with its supplies and everything it had, they

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would rob it, they would steal from them.

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And highway robbers were sometimes notorious for what

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they would do to the people, how frightening

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they were.

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Al-Fudail, before he became a practicing Muslim,

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was a highway robber, he was a bandit.

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So sometimes, when he would be in a

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certain area, they would all know, don't go

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that route at night, Al-Fudail is there

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waiting for you.

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In other words, you get robbed, don't go

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to this place, Al-Fudail will rob you.

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I'm going to paraphrase parts of the story

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to make it age appropriate, inshaAllah ta'ala.

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One day, he came across someone really beautiful,

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a beautiful woman, and he wanted to speak

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to her.

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So he followed this woman, as Imam Al

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-Dahabi, rahimahullah, reports in his biography, in the

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biography of Al-Fudail.

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So he followed this woman, he wanted to

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get to know her and her family, find

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out who she is, and eventually maybe marry

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her, allahu alam.

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So he followed her to her house.

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He followed her to the house.

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And then, because at that time, you could

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not get to the houses unless you climbed

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these walls that they had behind the houses,

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he climbed this wall.

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As he climbed the wall to try to

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spy and see like, okay, which of these

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houses is she in?

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What's going on?

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He said he got to the top of

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the wall, and he heard someone reciting an

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ayah of the Quran, a passage, a specific

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passage.

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And this passage is from Surah Al-Hadith.

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And the verse that was recited at that

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time was a verse that shook his heart.

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It's a verse we recite often.

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We talk about it all the time that

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this is an ayah to reflect on.

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This is a verse that if you were

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to have a single ayah put up, you

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know, as calligraphy, as a reminder, in your

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house as a reminder, then this would be

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one of the greatest reminders for you.

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So he gets to the top of the

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wall.

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And remember, he's a man who's committing many

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sins.

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He's stealing from many people.

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And now he follows this lady to her

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house, wants to find out more about her.

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He climbs the wall to spy and he

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hears someone reciting this saying of Allah Subhanahu

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wa ta'ala, أَلَمْ يَأْنِي الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَن

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تَخْشَعَ قُلُوبُهُمْ لِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ وَمَا نَزَلَ مِنَ الْحَقِّ

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to the end of the ayah.

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And this verse is so powerful.

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The translation loosely is the following.

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Has the time not yet come?

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Is it not time for those who believe,

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for the Muslims, those who believe, for their

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hearts to become humbly submissive, moved at the

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remembrance of Allah and what came down of

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the truth to the end of the verse.

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So Al-Fudayl rahimahu Allah, he said to

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himself, Ya Allah, my Lord, the time has

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come.

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The time has come.

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Meaning what?

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Perhaps up to this point he had been

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thinking for a long time, I need to

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change.

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Somebody does not say something like this unless

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they had been contemplating, I'm not living the

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right lifestyle.

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I should let go of this sin.

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I should be doing this ibadah.

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I should not be doing this.

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So when someone hears a reminder from Allah

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and they say the time is now, it

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is time for me to change.

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What am I waiting for?

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This is a good sign that they have

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been contemplating and they're taking action.

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So what did he do?

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He left.

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He climbed down the wall and he left.

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And he went to spend the night out

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somewhere else.

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And there he heard a group of travelers.

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Some people were trying to travel between the

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cities.

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And some of them said, No, no, don't

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go out tonight.

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Al-Fudayl is waiting for you.

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He's overhearing people talk about him, afraid of

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him.

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So then he said to himself, I spend

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the night sinning.

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And here the Muslims are waiting and they're

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frightened of me.

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I think Allah brought me to them so

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I could hear what they are saying.

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And I could repent and change my ways.

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He says, I repent to Allah and I

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ask for his forgiveness.

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And as a condition of my repentance, I'm

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going to go live next to Masjid al

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-Haram, next to the Kaaba.

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He ended up actually repenting.

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He changed.

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He became a practicing Muslim.

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And he went and he lived next to

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the Haram, which means what's generally, generally, you

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will find access to a lot of scholars,

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Muslims from all over.

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So he started learning and learning and learning.

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He became an advanced student of knowledge.

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And as the years went by, and he

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practiced and he made this condition of tawbah

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to live next to the Kaaba.

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As he followed through with his promise and

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his vow, he ended up himself becoming a

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teacher and later on a scholar.

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And sometimes people, they take these stories and

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they romanticize the sinful part.

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And they laugh and they joke and they

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say, Oh, ayyam al-jahiliya, I used to

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do this and to do that.

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But the reality is we are not supposed

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to normalize that.

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That's not something to normalize or make light

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of.

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In fact, we are supposed to generally, if

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we have been guided to what is good,

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supposed to cover the things that Allah has

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covered for us, that you moved on, you

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repented.

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Al-Fudail, rahimahullah, we see in his story

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a number of lessons amongst them.

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The power and potential for one ayah, for

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one ayah of the Qur'an to change

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your life.

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However, if we all know, for example, I

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was really enjoying the Salat al-Isha, the

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recitation, may Allah reward the brother, Allahumma ameen.

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If you know that there is a recitation,

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a surah, a passage that affects you, and

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you recognize this, you heard a surah like

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this surah, every time I hear it, it

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affects me.

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But then by choice, voluntarily, the entire week,

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the entire month, you choose not to listen

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to any Qur'an.

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You choose not to recite the verses that

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you know will affect you.

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You are virtually choosing to cut yourself off,

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to disconnect from the thing that will affect

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your heart.

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Has the time not yet come?

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What's amazing about this ayah, Imam Muslim reports,

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one of the earliest converts to Islam, he

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said, only four years passed by when we

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converted to Islam.

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Four years passed by since the time of

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our conversion to Islam, he was one of

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the first converts, and Allah subhanahu wa ta

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'ala bringing down this ayah, so this is

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a Meccan ayah.

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Surat majority, it is a Madinah surah, but

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the core part of the surah came down

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in Mecca, and he said, Allah rebuked us,

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commanded us, reminded us with this verse.

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Why?

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If you think about the beginning of this

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ayah, and what it does when it comes

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to introspection, you thinking about yourself, and you

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ask yourself this rhetorical question that Allah is

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asking you, you have the potential to respond

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internally in many different ways.

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When Allah asks you, oh Ahmed, oh Sara,

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oh Khadijah, oh Maryam, oh Ibrahim, has the

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time not yet come?

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Is it not time for you to change?

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Is it not time for you, oh Muslims

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who say, I believe in Allah, that when

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you hear the name of Allah, when you

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hear his recitation, that your heart is moved

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by that?

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Is it not time?

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Because if you say no to yourself, if

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not now, then when?

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If not now, if you don't want to

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repent now, and turn to Allah now, if

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you don't want to get back on the

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straight path now, when are you going to

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turn to Allah?

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Because tomorrow is not guaranteed.

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Tomorrow is never guaranteed, and if you make

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it a lifestyle to always think of tomorrow,

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and to fall into a type of frightening

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escapism, you know, the thought that I don't

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want to think about my sins, I don't

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want to think about how bad I am,

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I don't want to think that I need

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to repent, so you ignore it, and you

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go on with your life, and you stay

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distracted, what happens?

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Eventually that person could potentially leave this world

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with an abrupt departure, and it might frighten

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them.

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The reality that you might leave unprepared, you

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didn't repent as a lifestyle.

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A single verse of the Qur'an has

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that potential, if we are attentive, and we

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connect.

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May Allah make us amongst the people of

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the Qur'an.

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By the way, a side point, this completely

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seems unrelated.

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When people are connected to the Qur'an,

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they also respond to tragedies, they also respond

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to hardships, they also respond to life in

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general, in many different ways, because they're referencing

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what?

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Kalamullah, this is what Allah said about my

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situation, this is what Allah told me to

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do in this matter, and this is why

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we find generally, when people are in a

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society, in a village, generally connected to the

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Qur'an, you will notice that society dealing

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with tragedy in a very interesting way, and

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Gaza is a perfect example of that.

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May Allah bring down his justice and his

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relief, Allahuma Ameen.

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That when you look at the United States,

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and you look at other countries, you look

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at a city where there's a lot of

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good people, and there are a lot of

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bad people, like for example, Hurricane Katrina, one

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of the things some of us may remember

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and recall is the emphasis on looting, on

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robberies, on crimes that were being committed in

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the midst of a disaster, and a tragedy.

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You look at Gaza, and you're hearing what?

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People are helping each other, supporting each other,

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protecting each other, they're referencing the Qur'an,

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and they're very young in age.

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There are many hufadh, many graduates, many who

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memorize the Qur'an in Gaza as well.

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It's a lifestyle for them to connect to

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the Qur'an.

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So we take this as a reminder for

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our daily lives as well.

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Of course, another of the lessons from this

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story is that the door of tawbah is

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open for you.

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This is a man who was at a

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young age, he was a very bad person,

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and he repented to Allah subhanahu wa ta

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'ala.

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There's a potential for significant change.

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We learned this from the sahaba as well.

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How many people who converted to Islam changed

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in a very significant way.

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And of course, when we talk about the

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concept of converting to Islam, we reference this

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following point.

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Sometimes we think of the sahaba as having

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known Islam their entire lives, but many of

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the sahaba were in their 40s, 50s, and

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60s when they converted to Islam, when they

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learned about Islam and the Prophet ﷺ received

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revelation.

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So it's a reminder for us that sometimes

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the one who embraces Islam at a young

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age or an old age, they equally have

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the potential to do a lot of khair

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for the ummah, a lot of good in

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their personal changes as well.

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And every single one of us is either

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a convert or the descendant of a convert

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in this religion.

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Every single Muslim in the world is either

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a convert or the descendant of a convert

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at some point.

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Alhamdulillah that we have the opportunities in this

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day and age to connect with one another

00:11:11 --> 00:11:12

and to teach and to learn.

00:11:13 --> 00:11:14

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala keep our

00:11:14 --> 00:11:14

hearts united.

00:11:15 --> 00:11:15

Allahumma ameen.

00:11:16 --> 00:11:17

And this brings us to the topic of

00:11:17 --> 00:11:17

tonight.

00:11:18 --> 00:11:20

We have two traits in particular with regards

00:11:20 --> 00:11:21

to the revival of the ummah at the

00:11:21 --> 00:11:24

individual level first, and it is the trait

00:11:24 --> 00:11:28

of tawbah, the trait of repentance, Allah turning

00:11:28 --> 00:11:28

back to him.

00:11:29 --> 00:11:31

Tawbah is a very interesting word, and generally

00:11:31 --> 00:11:33

when we talk about tawbah, we know to

00:11:33 --> 00:11:35

turn back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,

00:11:35 --> 00:11:36

to go back to the straight path.

00:11:37 --> 00:11:38

But I want to just go on a

00:11:38 --> 00:11:42

small tangent here and emphasize something interesting about

00:11:42 --> 00:11:44

the name of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,

00:11:44 --> 00:11:44

At-Tawwab.

00:11:45 --> 00:11:47

At-Tawwab is found in the Qur'an

00:11:47 --> 00:11:48

11 times.

00:11:49 --> 00:11:52

And what you'll find interesting linguistically when you

00:11:52 --> 00:11:55

see like taaba or taaba alayh, the concept

00:11:55 --> 00:11:58

of tawbah here is the person who repents

00:11:58 --> 00:12:00

to Allah and the one who's accepted by

00:12:00 --> 00:12:01

Allah, the one who's accepted in terms of

00:12:01 --> 00:12:01

the tawbah.

00:12:01 --> 00:12:05

أَلَمْ يَعْلَمُ أَنَّ اللَّهُ وَيَقْبَلُ تَوْبَةً عَنْ عِبَادِهِ

00:12:05 --> 00:12:09

وَيَأْخُذُ الصَّدَقَاتِ وَأَنَّ اللَّهَ هُوَ التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيمُ Why

00:12:09 --> 00:12:11

is Allah not At-Taaib?

00:12:11 --> 00:12:13

Why is he At-Tawwab in these verses?

00:12:14 --> 00:12:16

At-Tawwab, when we turn to him, he

00:12:16 --> 00:12:17

turns to us.

00:12:18 --> 00:12:19

This name of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,

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a very powerful name, a name that really

00:12:21 --> 00:12:24

liberates us from ever despairing, this name of

00:12:24 --> 00:12:26

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala indicates that Allah

00:12:26 --> 00:12:28

turns more to us than what we do

00:12:28 --> 00:12:29

in turning to him.

00:12:30 --> 00:12:32

Allah turns, At-Tawwab has an intensity to

00:12:32 --> 00:12:35

it, more towards us, when we're taking that

00:12:35 --> 00:12:38

turn to him, he puts in more towards

00:12:38 --> 00:12:39

us than we to him, meaning in other

00:12:39 --> 00:12:40

words, you take one step, he takes many

00:12:40 --> 00:12:43

towards you in his own way, لَيْسَ كَمِثْلِهِ

00:12:43 --> 00:12:47

شَيْءٍ And of course, even though we are

00:12:47 --> 00:12:48

in need of him and we repent to

00:12:48 --> 00:12:51

him and we turn to him, he gives

00:12:51 --> 00:12:53

us more by turning to us and he

00:12:53 --> 00:12:54

is not in need of us.

00:12:54 --> 00:12:56

At-Tawwab, we turn to him.

00:12:56 --> 00:12:59

One time a young man asked, why do

00:12:59 --> 00:13:00

we keep talking about tawbah?

00:13:00 --> 00:13:01

Why repent?

00:13:01 --> 00:13:02

What's the big deal?

00:13:03 --> 00:13:04

Why do we ask Allah for forgiveness?

00:13:04 --> 00:13:06

We talk about it all the time, but

00:13:06 --> 00:13:08

in a very practical sense, if we were

00:13:08 --> 00:13:10

to break down some reasons, five, six, seven

00:13:10 --> 00:13:13

reasons, why tawbah in other words?

00:13:13 --> 00:13:14

And this is a question for us on

00:13:14 --> 00:13:15

a daily basis.

00:13:15 --> 00:13:17

Why should I turn back to Allah subhanahu

00:13:17 --> 00:13:17

wa ta'ala?

00:13:18 --> 00:13:20

First and foremost, it is the definition of

00:13:20 --> 00:13:20

success.

00:13:20 --> 00:13:22

You can't succeed without tawbah.

00:13:22 --> 00:13:25

وَتُوبُوا إِلَى اللَّهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ

00:13:25 --> 00:13:28

تُفْلِحُونَ Turn to Allah together, O believers, in

00:13:28 --> 00:13:30

repentance to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, so

00:13:30 --> 00:13:32

that you may truly succeed.

00:13:33 --> 00:13:35

The second, when you ask Allah to forgive

00:13:35 --> 00:13:37

you, Allah's love for you increases.

00:13:38 --> 00:13:41

إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ وَيُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ In one

00:13:41 --> 00:13:43

of the Surah, you have, I think Surah

00:13:43 --> 00:13:46

Al-Buruj, you have an emphasis, وَهُوَ الْغَفُورُ

00:13:46 --> 00:13:48

الْوَدُودُ And the pairing of the names of

00:13:48 --> 00:13:50

Allah in the Quran is always for a

00:13:50 --> 00:13:50

wisdom.

00:13:50 --> 00:13:52

Anytime you see two names combined in any

00:13:52 --> 00:13:55

ayah, there's a wisdom, so pause and reflect

00:13:55 --> 00:13:56

on what that wisdom could be.

00:13:56 --> 00:13:58

It's related to the context, the ayah, the

00:13:58 --> 00:13:58

passage.

00:13:59 --> 00:14:03

وَهُوَ الْغَفُورُ He is the Oft-Forgiving الْوَدُودُ,

00:14:03 --> 00:14:05

the Most Intense in Love for His servants.

00:14:05 --> 00:14:07

What's the link between these two?

00:14:08 --> 00:14:10

That the one who repents to Allah subhanahu

00:14:10 --> 00:14:12

wa ta'ala sincerely, Allah will forgive, He

00:14:12 --> 00:14:14

is Oft-Forgiving, but also His love for

00:14:14 --> 00:14:16

you will increase, because you did the right

00:14:16 --> 00:14:16

thing.

00:14:17 --> 00:14:18

So you'll forgive and He will love you

00:14:18 --> 00:14:19

more for what you did.

00:14:19 --> 00:14:22

The third is that sins, when you repent

00:14:22 --> 00:14:25

sincerely, become transformed into good deeds.

00:14:26 --> 00:14:30

فَأُولَٰئِكَ يُبَدِّلُ اللَّهُ سَيِّئَاتِهِمْ حَسَنَاتٍ Allah replaces your

00:14:30 --> 00:14:31

sins with good deeds.

00:14:31 --> 00:14:33

Now there's a really interesting trap of Shaytan

00:14:33 --> 00:14:34

that comes up here.

00:14:34 --> 00:14:36

There's a really interesting trick that comes up

00:14:36 --> 00:14:36

here.

00:14:37 --> 00:14:38

A lot of people ask, first of all,

00:14:38 --> 00:14:39

why?

00:14:39 --> 00:14:41

Why does the good deed, a sin get

00:14:41 --> 00:14:43

erased and replaced with a good deed?

00:14:43 --> 00:14:46

Because this person has truly, truly turned back

00:14:46 --> 00:14:46

to Allah.

00:14:47 --> 00:14:48

And there are conditions here, we'll talk about

00:14:48 --> 00:14:49

in a moment inshaAllah.

00:14:50 --> 00:14:52

Then somebody asks, okay, someone committed a sin,

00:14:53 --> 00:14:55

they repented and they got good deeds.

00:14:55 --> 00:14:57

What about the one who did not commit

00:14:57 --> 00:14:57

the sin at all?

00:14:57 --> 00:14:59

It seems as though there is a disparity,

00:14:59 --> 00:15:00

like it's unfair.

00:15:00 --> 00:15:03

This person was about to commit haram, and

00:15:03 --> 00:15:03

they stayed away from it.

00:15:04 --> 00:15:06

And you have examples of people running away

00:15:06 --> 00:15:09

from sins, a job offer, bribery, corruption, temptation,

00:15:09 --> 00:15:10

seduction, they stay away.

00:15:11 --> 00:15:14

فَاسْتَبَقَ الْبَابَ يُصِفْ عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامَ Was racing to

00:15:14 --> 00:15:15

the door, the wife of al-'Aziz racing to

00:15:15 --> 00:15:16

the door.

00:15:16 --> 00:15:17

They're both racing to the door, but for

00:15:17 --> 00:15:19

very different reasons, one for haram and one

00:15:19 --> 00:15:22

for security and safety, one for protection from

00:15:22 --> 00:15:22

Allah.

00:15:23 --> 00:15:25

So people rush towards different things.

00:15:25 --> 00:15:28

If you were to refrain from sinfulness, your

00:15:28 --> 00:15:30

reward is greater than the one who lets

00:15:30 --> 00:15:32

go thinking, well, I'll perform tawbah later.

00:15:33 --> 00:15:34

It's a trap of Shaytan to think, well,

00:15:34 --> 00:15:36

I'll just get hasanat later on through these

00:15:36 --> 00:15:36

sins.

00:15:37 --> 00:15:39

First of all, if you think like that,

00:15:39 --> 00:15:40

you're not guaranteed to do tawbah.

00:15:40 --> 00:15:43

And second of all, you're not guaranteed that

00:15:43 --> 00:15:44

your heart will be in a place where

00:15:44 --> 00:15:46

you are even sincere in your tawbah.

00:15:46 --> 00:15:47

Meaning what?

00:15:47 --> 00:15:49

You're corrupting your heart by saying, I'm going

00:15:49 --> 00:15:50

to commit a sin, I'll just ask Allah

00:15:50 --> 00:15:52

for forgiveness later and get hasanat.

00:15:52 --> 00:15:53

So it's a trick of Shaytan.

00:15:53 --> 00:15:55

And the third, there have been many people

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who committed a sin.

00:15:57 --> 00:15:59

And then it became not a عَمَلْ بَرَ

00:15:59 --> 00:16:01

عَادَةٍ, an action, it became a habit.

00:16:02 --> 00:16:03

And it became a habit, they stopped repenting

00:16:03 --> 00:16:04

from why?

00:16:05 --> 00:16:06

Because it became difficult for them.

00:16:07 --> 00:16:08

They became entrenched in their sin.

00:16:09 --> 00:16:10

Like you know what, no matter what, I'm

00:16:10 --> 00:16:11

always going to do this, always going to

00:16:11 --> 00:16:13

do that, always going to gossip, always going

00:16:13 --> 00:16:13

to lie.

00:16:13 --> 00:16:14

So they stopped caring.

00:16:15 --> 00:16:15

What happens?

00:16:15 --> 00:16:17

They ended up dying in that state where

00:16:17 --> 00:16:18

they don't repent anymore for their sin.

00:16:19 --> 00:16:20

And the initial thought was what?

00:16:20 --> 00:16:21

I'll just take care of this later.

00:16:21 --> 00:16:23

May Allah protect us all in our hearts

00:16:23 --> 00:16:24

and our actions.

00:16:24 --> 00:16:28

Number four, tawbah is the only rational choice.

00:16:28 --> 00:16:29

We have two options.

00:16:30 --> 00:16:32

We either want the record clean when we

00:16:32 --> 00:16:33

die, or we go with a dirty record.

00:16:34 --> 00:16:34

May Allah protect us.

00:16:35 --> 00:16:37

And when the records are given to us

00:16:37 --> 00:16:39

on the day of judgment, when we have

00:16:39 --> 00:16:40

these scrolls that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:16:40 --> 00:16:42

mentions are tied up to the necks in

00:16:42 --> 00:16:45

some way in al-barzakh, and these scrolls

00:16:45 --> 00:16:46

are open on the day of judgment, and

00:16:46 --> 00:16:47

they go out as far as the eye

00:16:47 --> 00:16:49

can see according to an authentic hadith.

00:16:50 --> 00:16:52

And some people will see the scrolls filled

00:16:52 --> 00:16:54

with sins as far as their eyes can

00:16:54 --> 00:16:54

see.

00:16:55 --> 00:16:57

And they will look on the other side

00:16:57 --> 00:16:58

to see what there is of goodness and

00:16:58 --> 00:16:59

they will find very few things.

00:17:00 --> 00:17:01

And so when you think about the reasonable

00:17:01 --> 00:17:04

choice, there are some people in this world,

00:17:05 --> 00:17:07

if their credit score in America, for example,

00:17:07 --> 00:17:09

if their credit score gets affected, and it

00:17:09 --> 00:17:10

was an accident, let's say, or it was

00:17:10 --> 00:17:13

intentional, their credit score gets affected and something's

00:17:13 --> 00:17:14

on your record.

00:17:14 --> 00:17:16

Now, in I think, generally speaking, in many

00:17:16 --> 00:17:18

cases, you have something on your record for

00:17:18 --> 00:17:19

like seven years, 10 years, five years, depending

00:17:19 --> 00:17:21

on what it is, what will they do,

00:17:21 --> 00:17:22

they will try to do everything to get

00:17:22 --> 00:17:23

it removed.

00:17:23 --> 00:17:26

Some people have something on their record, or

00:17:26 --> 00:17:28

a crime or a misdemeanor, they will try

00:17:28 --> 00:17:30

to do everything to wipe their record clean.

00:17:30 --> 00:17:32

We think about the more important record, not

00:17:32 --> 00:17:34

that this isn't, but the record of the

00:17:34 --> 00:17:36

afterlife that we will all see.

00:17:36 --> 00:17:38

We want to make sure we're meeting Allah

00:17:38 --> 00:17:39

with a clean slate.

00:17:39 --> 00:17:41

And that requires work from our end.

00:17:41 --> 00:17:43

It is the only rational choice.

00:17:43 --> 00:17:46

It's either purified here through tawbah, or there's

00:17:46 --> 00:17:48

going to be purification that's painful in the

00:17:48 --> 00:17:49

afterlife, may Allah protect us.

00:17:50 --> 00:17:52

Number five is that Allah promises if you

00:17:52 --> 00:17:54

do tawbah as a way of life, He

00:17:54 --> 00:17:56

will give you relief from hardships in a

00:17:56 --> 00:17:58

way you could not have planned for.

00:17:58 --> 00:18:00

And this is linked to number six, Allah

00:18:00 --> 00:18:02

promises blessings for the people of tawbah and

00:18:02 --> 00:18:03

istighfar.

00:18:03 --> 00:18:07

فَقُلْتُ اسْتَغْفِرُوا رَبَّكُمْ نُوحًا عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ Said, seek

00:18:07 --> 00:18:08

forgiveness from your Lord.

00:18:09 --> 00:18:11

إِنَّهُ كَانَ غَفَّارًا He is the Oft-Forgiving.

00:18:11 --> 00:18:12

He's always forgiving.

00:18:13 --> 00:18:15

يُرْسِلِ السَّمَاءَ عَلَيْكُم مِّدْرَارًا He'll bring down to

00:18:15 --> 00:18:16

you the rain in abundance.

00:18:16 --> 00:18:18

When people are looking for rain for their

00:18:18 --> 00:18:18

crops.

00:18:19 --> 00:18:21

وَيُمْدِدْكُمْ بِأَمْوَالٍ He will extend to you your

00:18:21 --> 00:18:22

wealth.

00:18:22 --> 00:18:22

You want money?

00:18:22 --> 00:18:24

Allah can take care of that for you.

00:18:24 --> 00:18:27

وَبَنِينَ أَنْ أَفْسِبْرِينَ وَيَجْعَلْ لَكُمْ جَنَّاتٍ He will

00:18:27 --> 00:18:28

grant you gardens.

00:18:28 --> 00:18:30

وَيَجْعَلْ لَكُمْ أَنْهَارًا He will grant you rivers.

00:18:31 --> 00:18:32

And this is mentioned elsewhere in the Qur

00:18:32 --> 00:18:34

'an as well and in the authentic hadith,

00:18:35 --> 00:18:38

disputed in its authenticity but authentic in terms

00:18:38 --> 00:18:39

of its ma'na and sunan Abi Dawood.

00:18:39 --> 00:18:43

The Prophet ﷺ says, مَنْ لَزِمَ الْإِسْتَغْفَارُ Whoever

00:18:43 --> 00:18:45

makes istaghfar as a way of life.

00:18:46 --> 00:18:50

أَسْتَغْفِرُوا اللَّهُ I seek forgiveness from Allah.

00:18:51 --> 00:18:53

جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لَهُ مِن كُلِّ هَمٍ فَرَجَةٍ Allah

00:18:53 --> 00:18:55

will make for them from every anxiety a

00:18:55 --> 00:18:56

relief.

00:18:57 --> 00:18:58

And Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala when He

00:18:58 --> 00:19:00

tells us this and you think about the

00:19:00 --> 00:19:02

ayat in the Qur'an, وَمِن كُلِّ دِيقٍ

00:19:02 --> 00:19:04

مَخْرَجَةٍ As well from every hardship a way

00:19:04 --> 00:19:04

out.

00:19:04 --> 00:19:06

وَيَرُزُقُهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ He will provide

00:19:06 --> 00:19:08

for you from sources you didn't expect or

00:19:08 --> 00:19:08

imagine.

00:19:09 --> 00:19:11

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala is bringing our

00:19:11 --> 00:19:12

attention to a reality.

00:19:12 --> 00:19:14

The reality that we are always in need

00:19:14 --> 00:19:15

of turning to Allah.

00:19:15 --> 00:19:17

We also have mistakes and sins and we

00:19:17 --> 00:19:18

overlook them at times.

00:19:19 --> 00:19:21

And we're supposed to grow from these mistakes

00:19:21 --> 00:19:22

and not just repeat them over and over

00:19:22 --> 00:19:23

and over again.

00:19:24 --> 00:19:26

And finally number seven, do we want to

00:19:26 --> 00:19:28

meet Allah face to face?

00:19:28 --> 00:19:31

وَجُوهُ يَوْمَئِذٍ نَاظِرَ إِلَىٰ رَبِّهَا نَاظِرَ Do we

00:19:31 --> 00:19:33

want to be meeting Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta

00:19:33 --> 00:19:35

'ala thinking, I have all these sins, meaning

00:19:35 --> 00:19:37

all this disobedience, I disobeyed Allah.

00:19:38 --> 00:19:39

And I didn't even ask Him to forgive

00:19:39 --> 00:19:42

me knowing that He forgives and we forget.

00:19:42 --> 00:19:44

Allah forgives and we forget.

00:19:44 --> 00:19:46

We keep moving on and on and on.

00:19:46 --> 00:19:48

And this is why when Allah tells us

00:19:48 --> 00:19:53

in a very clear command, يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ

00:19:53 --> 00:20:02

آمَنُوا تُوبُوا إِلَىٰ اللَّهِ تَوْبَةً

00:20:02 --> 00:20:05

نَصُوحًا O you who believe, O believers, repent

00:20:05 --> 00:20:08

to Allah with a complete repentance.

00:20:08 --> 00:20:10

They asked Umar ibn Al-Khattab, what is

00:20:10 --> 00:20:11

taubatan nasuha?

00:20:11 --> 00:20:12

We know what tauba is.

00:20:13 --> 00:20:14

What is taubatan nasuha?

00:20:15 --> 00:20:17

He said, أَن يَتُوبَ الرَّجُلُ مِنَ الْعَمَلِ السَّيِّئِ

00:20:17 --> 00:20:20

ثُمَّ لَا يَعُودُ إِلَيْهِ أَبَدًا For someone to

00:20:20 --> 00:20:22

repent from a sin, from a sinful action

00:20:22 --> 00:20:25

and then to never go back to it

00:20:25 --> 00:20:25

again.

00:20:26 --> 00:20:28

We always say, no matter how many times

00:20:28 --> 00:20:30

it takes, you keep repenting to Allah.

00:20:30 --> 00:20:32

But the objective of tauba is not to

00:20:32 --> 00:20:33

go back.

00:20:33 --> 00:20:37

The objective of tauba, taubatan nasuha, complete sincere

00:20:37 --> 00:20:38

repentance, يَا أَللَّهِ أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا تُوبُوا إِلَىٰ

00:20:38 --> 00:20:38

اللَّهِ تَوْبَةً نَصُوحًا O Allah, I will never

00:20:38 --> 00:20:39

do this again.

00:20:39 --> 00:20:40

What helps?

00:20:40 --> 00:20:41

The remorse helps.

00:20:41 --> 00:20:43

Now there's a very interesting question that comes

00:20:43 --> 00:20:43

up.

00:20:44 --> 00:20:46

And somebody asked me this question maybe a

00:20:46 --> 00:20:46

decade ago.

00:20:46 --> 00:20:48

And it was a question that when he

00:20:48 --> 00:20:49

asked, I said this is a very good

00:20:49 --> 00:20:50

perspective, a different angle.

00:20:51 --> 00:20:53

Why don't people, Muslims in general, we know

00:20:53 --> 00:20:54

about tauba.

00:20:54 --> 00:20:56

Why don't we do tauba more regularly?

00:20:56 --> 00:20:58

We know how important it is.

00:20:58 --> 00:20:59

We know its value.

00:20:59 --> 00:21:01

These are just seven examples of why.

00:21:01 --> 00:21:05

Why don't we perform repentance more consistently in

00:21:05 --> 00:21:06

life?

00:21:06 --> 00:21:09

Despite knowing how valuable and necessary it is.

00:21:10 --> 00:21:11

And there are generally three categories.

00:21:11 --> 00:21:13

Every one of these has its subcategories.

00:21:13 --> 00:21:14

Number one is despair.

00:21:15 --> 00:21:16

Someone has lost hope.

00:21:16 --> 00:21:18

So they've fallen into the sin of saying

00:21:18 --> 00:21:19

Allah will not forgive me.

00:21:19 --> 00:21:19

I'm too bad.

00:21:20 --> 00:21:20

There's no hope for me.

00:21:21 --> 00:21:22

And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says what?

00:21:23 --> 00:21:25

إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الدِّنُوبَ جَمِيعًۭ Allah forgives all

00:21:25 --> 00:21:25

sins.

00:21:25 --> 00:21:28

إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ Surah Az-Zumar, one

00:21:28 --> 00:21:30

of the most cited ayat of hope and

00:21:30 --> 00:21:30

forgiveness.

00:21:31 --> 00:21:33

So you're not allowed to, you can't possibly

00:21:33 --> 00:21:35

know these ayat and say, I'm a Muslim

00:21:35 --> 00:21:36

and I believe there's no hope for me.

00:21:37 --> 00:21:38

Allah is telling you there's hope.

00:21:38 --> 00:21:39

We've had in the last two and a

00:21:39 --> 00:21:41

half months, three months, so many people from

00:21:41 --> 00:21:43

all walks of life reach out and convert

00:21:43 --> 00:21:44

to Islam.

00:21:44 --> 00:21:47

And we all know the one who rejected

00:21:47 --> 00:21:49

Islam, whether for a day or for decades,

00:21:50 --> 00:21:52

and they sincerely embrace Islam and submit to

00:21:52 --> 00:21:54

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, we all know,

00:21:55 --> 00:21:56

and even our children know.

00:21:56 --> 00:21:58

When they enter into Islam, all the sins

00:21:58 --> 00:22:00

that they committed before, will Allah forgive them

00:22:00 --> 00:22:01

for all of that?

00:22:01 --> 00:22:02

Yes or no?

00:22:02 --> 00:22:03

Yes, absolutely.

00:22:04 --> 00:22:06

And that was the worst of crimes of

00:22:06 --> 00:22:06

shirk and kufr.

00:22:07 --> 00:22:09

And we have so many stories like that

00:22:09 --> 00:22:09

in our community.

00:22:10 --> 00:22:13

Embracing Islam, a new slate, a clean slate.

00:22:13 --> 00:22:14

It's a good feeling.

00:22:14 --> 00:22:15

When you go for Umrah and you come

00:22:15 --> 00:22:16

back, we just had a group come back,

00:22:16 --> 00:22:17

alhamdulillah.

00:22:17 --> 00:22:18

It's a good feeling thinking, you know what?

00:22:18 --> 00:22:19

I have a clean slate, I don't want

00:22:19 --> 00:22:20

to mess this up.

00:22:21 --> 00:22:23

And every day is an opportunity, don't wait

00:22:23 --> 00:22:24

for another environment, another place.

00:22:24 --> 00:22:26

Every day is an opportunity, don't wait for

00:22:26 --> 00:22:26

Ramadan.

00:22:27 --> 00:22:28

Less than three months away, may Allah allow

00:22:28 --> 00:22:29

us to make it, Allahumma ameen.

00:22:30 --> 00:22:31

Number one is despair.

00:22:31 --> 00:22:33

The balance for this is what's the prescription?

00:22:34 --> 00:22:35

Go back to what Allah said, turn to

00:22:35 --> 00:22:36

me, I will forgive you.

00:22:36 --> 00:22:38

Ya Ibn Adam, O children of Adam.

00:22:42 --> 00:22:44

How can you possibly lose hope in Allah?

00:22:45 --> 00:22:46

Say that I don't have hope.

00:22:46 --> 00:22:47

When Allah tells you, as long as you

00:22:47 --> 00:22:49

have hope in me, ask me for forgiveness,

00:22:49 --> 00:22:50

I will forgive you.

00:22:50 --> 00:22:52

And I don't mind, meaning I want to

00:22:52 --> 00:22:53

forgive you.

00:22:53 --> 00:22:55

Number two is procrastination and laziness.

00:22:56 --> 00:22:57

And I mentioned this earlier.

00:22:57 --> 00:23:00

There's a type of psychological escapism.

00:23:00 --> 00:23:02

When people don't want to think about their

00:23:02 --> 00:23:04

sins, what will they possibly do?

00:23:04 --> 00:23:07

They'll try to procrastinate, they'll be lazy, they'll

00:23:07 --> 00:23:09

drag their feet with regards to going back

00:23:09 --> 00:23:09

to Allah.

00:23:10 --> 00:23:12

They'll say to themselves, I'm not ready yet.

00:23:12 --> 00:23:14

The circumstances are not ready yet.

00:23:14 --> 00:23:15

I'm not in a place where I can

00:23:15 --> 00:23:17

start doing this act of worship that Allah

00:23:17 --> 00:23:17

commanded of me.

00:23:18 --> 00:23:18

What does that mean?

00:23:19 --> 00:23:20

So long as you're not doing what Allah

00:23:20 --> 00:23:23

commanded and obligated, you are disobeying Him.

00:23:23 --> 00:23:25

And you might die before the opportunity to

00:23:25 --> 00:23:25

repent to Him.

00:23:26 --> 00:23:28

And it might be, again, an example where

00:23:28 --> 00:23:30

you procrastinate for so long, the change becomes

00:23:30 --> 00:23:31

even more difficult.

00:23:31 --> 00:23:33

And you no longer really care about changing.

00:23:33 --> 00:23:36

So procrastination, laziness, there's no excuse for this.

00:23:36 --> 00:23:37

Every day is a reminder.

00:23:37 --> 00:23:38

Every morning you wake up.

00:23:39 --> 00:23:40

Every night before you sleep, you make dua.

00:23:40 --> 00:23:41

You ask Allah for forgiveness.

00:23:42 --> 00:23:44

You have, alhamdulillah, so many different ways to

00:23:44 --> 00:23:44

do this.

00:23:44 --> 00:23:45

And we'll talk about some in a moment

00:23:45 --> 00:23:46

inshaAllah.

00:23:46 --> 00:23:47

The third is arrogance.

00:23:47 --> 00:23:49

And this is the scariest of the three.

00:23:50 --> 00:23:53

Why is arrogance the scariest of the three?

00:23:53 --> 00:23:55

Despair, you understand that someone maybe was not

00:23:55 --> 00:23:57

introduced to ayat about hope and mercy.

00:23:57 --> 00:23:58

So you give them the prescription.

00:23:59 --> 00:24:02

Procrastination, you remind someone who's slow in repenting

00:24:02 --> 00:24:04

to Allah that you need to take this

00:24:04 --> 00:24:04

seriously.

00:24:04 --> 00:24:05

Life is very short.

00:24:05 --> 00:24:06

Every day could be your last.

00:24:06 --> 00:24:07

So what do you do?

00:24:07 --> 00:24:09

You remind them and inshaAllah ta'adil, move

00:24:09 --> 00:24:09

forward.

00:24:11 --> 00:24:12

Arrogance is the most frightening one.

00:24:13 --> 00:24:15

Arrogance is when someone says, I'm not doing

00:24:15 --> 00:24:15

anything wrong.

00:24:16 --> 00:24:18

Arrogance is when someone justifies their sin.

00:24:19 --> 00:24:21

Or they might say, it's not my fault.

00:24:22 --> 00:24:24

And so in that conversation, or when they

00:24:24 --> 00:24:27

think their thought process, when someone shares with

00:24:27 --> 00:24:29

them something, an article, or they're on social

00:24:29 --> 00:24:30

media and they see a reel.

00:24:30 --> 00:24:32

And the reel is addressing the very sin

00:24:32 --> 00:24:32

that they are committing.

00:24:33 --> 00:24:35

In their minds, the thought process, because of

00:24:35 --> 00:24:38

this pride, shift the blame to someone else.

00:24:38 --> 00:24:39

It's not my fault.

00:24:39 --> 00:24:40

My parents did this.

00:24:40 --> 00:24:41

My parents raised me like this.

00:24:41 --> 00:24:44

My community, my friends, everyone's doing it.

00:24:45 --> 00:24:49

So the problem with arrogance is you have

00:24:49 --> 00:24:52

a type of defensiveness that's paired with kibir

00:24:52 --> 00:24:54

that no matter how many advices you give,

00:24:55 --> 00:24:56

it may not affect the person.

00:24:56 --> 00:24:57

They have to be willing to change.

00:24:58 --> 00:24:59

And that's the most frightening thing.

00:24:59 --> 00:24:59

Why?

00:24:59 --> 00:25:01

Because you could be a Muslim who practices

00:25:01 --> 00:25:04

every part of Islam except for one area,

00:25:04 --> 00:25:04

one domain.

00:25:05 --> 00:25:06

And with that domain, you might be arrogant.

00:25:06 --> 00:25:07

May Allah protect us.

00:25:07 --> 00:25:08

And I'm not saying arrogance in the sense

00:25:08 --> 00:25:09

of a disbeliever.

00:25:10 --> 00:25:11

But arrogance could affect the believers.

00:25:12 --> 00:25:14

Because this is when someone says, I'm not

00:25:14 --> 00:25:14

doing anything wrong.

00:25:15 --> 00:25:16

And I'm not talking about fiqh.

00:25:16 --> 00:25:18

I'm not talking about differences of opinion.

00:25:18 --> 00:25:20

I'm talking about something that is known to

00:25:20 --> 00:25:20

be amongst the scholars.

00:25:20 --> 00:25:21

Something that is sinful.

00:25:21 --> 00:25:23

There's no doubt regarding it.

00:25:23 --> 00:25:25

And the scary thing about it is it

00:25:25 --> 00:25:26

shows us our reaction.

00:25:26 --> 00:25:29

And we look at the two examples from

00:25:29 --> 00:25:30

the origins of Adam alayhis salaam.

00:25:30 --> 00:25:32

The two examples and how you can respond.

00:25:33 --> 00:25:34

Adam and Hawa.

00:25:34 --> 00:25:35

Allah reprimanded them.

00:25:35 --> 00:25:36

And what did they say?

00:25:39 --> 00:25:40

Right away.

00:25:40 --> 00:25:41

Our Lord, we wronged ourselves.

00:25:41 --> 00:25:42

Even though we all know the story.

00:25:43 --> 00:25:44

Why did they commit?

00:25:44 --> 00:25:45

Like, why did they do what they did?

00:25:45 --> 00:25:47

Because the devil tricked them.

00:25:48 --> 00:25:49

He swore to them.

00:25:49 --> 00:25:50

I'm a sincere advisor to you.

00:25:50 --> 00:25:52

They could have blamed the shaitaan.

00:25:52 --> 00:25:54

But they made the decision at the end.

00:25:54 --> 00:25:56

Rabbana, our Lord, we wronged ourselves.

00:25:56 --> 00:25:59

وَإِلَّمْ تَغْفِرُ لَنَا وَتَرْحَمْنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنِ الْخَاسِرِينَ If

00:25:59 --> 00:26:00

you don't forgive us and have mercy on

00:26:00 --> 00:26:01

us, we will be amongst the losers.

00:26:02 --> 00:26:02

We need you, Allah.

00:26:03 --> 00:26:03

Forgive us.

00:26:04 --> 00:26:06

The second reaction is the reaction of the

00:26:06 --> 00:26:06

devil.

00:26:06 --> 00:26:07

May Allah protect us.

00:26:07 --> 00:26:08

What did the devil say?

00:26:09 --> 00:26:12

قال ربي بِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي Or in another ayah,

00:26:12 --> 00:26:14

بِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي You have caused me to do

00:26:14 --> 00:26:14

this.

00:26:15 --> 00:26:16

You have caused me to...

00:26:16 --> 00:26:18

He blamed Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

00:26:18 --> 00:26:18

Why?

00:26:18 --> 00:26:20

Because Allah created Adam alayhis salaam.

00:26:20 --> 00:26:22

And told the devil to prostrate.

00:26:23 --> 00:26:25

So we think about these reactions and we

00:26:25 --> 00:26:27

make sure internally inshaAllah ta'ala.

00:26:27 --> 00:26:29

When you know you're doing something wrong, accept

00:26:29 --> 00:26:31

that it is wrong first and foremost.

00:26:31 --> 00:26:33

That's the most important thing.

00:26:33 --> 00:26:34

And then move to the next step of

00:26:34 --> 00:26:37

the practical aspects of tawbah.

00:26:37 --> 00:26:39

A few weeks ago, we had a topic

00:26:39 --> 00:26:41

that we were covering and somebody asked me

00:26:41 --> 00:26:41

afterwards.

00:26:42 --> 00:26:43

They said a lot of times we talk

00:26:43 --> 00:26:44

about tawbah but we don't mention.

00:26:45 --> 00:26:46

How do you even do tawbah?

00:26:46 --> 00:26:46

What do you say?

00:26:46 --> 00:26:48

You just say, استغفر الله You just ask

00:26:48 --> 00:26:50

Allah, Allah forgive me for this sin, for

00:26:50 --> 00:26:53

lying, for backbiting, for hurting my parents, my

00:26:53 --> 00:26:54

child, my husband, my wife.

00:26:54 --> 00:26:55

What do you say?

00:26:55 --> 00:26:55

What do you do?

00:26:56 --> 00:26:58

Tawbah generally has shurut conditions.

00:26:59 --> 00:27:00

The first is that you stop the sin.

00:27:01 --> 00:27:03

You can't be for example, like stealing, like

00:27:03 --> 00:27:05

at work or you're hurting someone, you're abusing

00:27:05 --> 00:27:05

someone.

00:27:06 --> 00:27:08

And at the same time you're saying, I'm

00:27:08 --> 00:27:08

doing tawbah right now.

00:27:09 --> 00:27:10

Like I'm, Oh Allah forgive me, Allah forgive

00:27:10 --> 00:27:10

me.

00:27:10 --> 00:27:11

You have to stop the sin.

00:27:12 --> 00:27:13

The second, and this obviously is paired with

00:27:13 --> 00:27:13

sincerity.

00:27:14 --> 00:27:16

The second is you have to have remorse.

00:27:17 --> 00:27:18

You have to know why this is a

00:27:18 --> 00:27:18

problem.

00:27:19 --> 00:27:20

You may not understand the wisdom of a

00:27:20 --> 00:27:22

ruling, that's not the point here.

00:27:22 --> 00:27:24

The remorse is because you broke the law

00:27:24 --> 00:27:24

of Allah.

00:27:24 --> 00:27:26

Allah told you not to do something.

00:27:26 --> 00:27:30

The Prophet ﷺ said, الندم توبة Remorse, regret

00:27:30 --> 00:27:31

is repentance.

00:27:31 --> 00:27:32

It's the core of it.

00:27:32 --> 00:27:34

That you felt bad about what you did.

00:27:34 --> 00:27:36

And I don't mean just that you did

00:27:36 --> 00:27:38

something bad towards someone, but also that you

00:27:38 --> 00:27:40

violated the laws, the commands of Allah.

00:27:40 --> 00:27:41

You did something wrong.

00:27:41 --> 00:27:45

The third condition, you intend sincerely, I will

00:27:45 --> 00:27:46

never go back to this again.

00:27:47 --> 00:27:48

I lied, I backbite, I did this thing,

00:27:48 --> 00:27:50

profanity, whatever it be, I will, ya Allah,

00:27:51 --> 00:27:52

I will never do this again.

00:27:52 --> 00:27:53

And you ask Allah for firmness.

00:27:54 --> 00:27:55

And I wanna pause for a moment once

00:27:55 --> 00:27:56

again.

00:27:56 --> 00:27:58

This is where the scholars say, pay attention

00:27:58 --> 00:27:59

to the tricks of shaitan.

00:28:00 --> 00:28:02

Someone who commits a sin multiple times in

00:28:02 --> 00:28:04

life and repents might think, you know what,

00:28:04 --> 00:28:06

I can't control myself, I'm probably gonna do

00:28:06 --> 00:28:07

it again, what's the point?

00:28:07 --> 00:28:09

We have a lot of people who ask,

00:28:09 --> 00:28:10

what's the point of tawbah if I think

00:28:10 --> 00:28:11

I'm gonna do it again?

00:28:12 --> 00:28:13

The point is that you don't give up

00:28:13 --> 00:28:14

on yourself.

00:28:14 --> 00:28:16

You never think to yourself, I might do

00:28:16 --> 00:28:17

it again, so there's no point.

00:28:17 --> 00:28:19

Otherwise, the devil has gained victory over you.

00:28:19 --> 00:28:21

You ask yourself, what can I do differently?

00:28:22 --> 00:28:23

What changes do I need to make?

00:28:23 --> 00:28:25

Because if the devil tricks into thinking, I'm

00:28:25 --> 00:28:27

gonna do it again, then the tawbah might

00:28:27 --> 00:28:28

feel like it's lacking.

00:28:28 --> 00:28:30

Always tell yourself, this time will be different.

00:28:31 --> 00:28:32

And try to do something different.

00:28:32 --> 00:28:34

Ask for forgiveness in different way.

00:28:34 --> 00:28:36

And this is what brings us inshaAllah to

00:28:36 --> 00:28:37

the fourth condition.

00:28:37 --> 00:28:39

If your sin involves other human beings, you

00:28:39 --> 00:28:41

have to restore that right as best as

00:28:41 --> 00:28:42

you can.

00:28:42 --> 00:28:44

Every single type of sin has its application.

00:28:45 --> 00:28:46

You have to try to restore the right.

00:28:46 --> 00:28:48

If you stole something ever in your life,

00:28:49 --> 00:28:50

you have to restore that right.

00:28:50 --> 00:28:51

You can't just say, Allah, forgive me.

00:28:52 --> 00:28:53

So if you don't know where the person

00:28:53 --> 00:28:54

is, you try your best to locate them,

00:28:55 --> 00:28:56

figure out how to give them the money

00:28:56 --> 00:28:56

back.

00:28:56 --> 00:28:57

And you can't.

00:28:57 --> 00:28:59

You give that money on their behalf in

00:28:59 --> 00:28:59

charity.

00:28:59 --> 00:29:01

But first, you're supposed to try to restore

00:29:01 --> 00:29:01

that right.

00:29:02 --> 00:29:03

If you backbite someone, what do you do?

00:29:04 --> 00:29:05

This is the most common question and example

00:29:05 --> 00:29:08

about tawbah with regards to people's rights because

00:29:08 --> 00:29:09

backbiting is so common.

00:29:09 --> 00:29:10

May Allah protect us.

00:29:11 --> 00:29:13

With regards to backbiting, the scholars say, if

00:29:13 --> 00:29:16

you know that the person you backbite is

00:29:16 --> 00:29:18

likely to be more hurt and there to

00:29:18 --> 00:29:19

be a fitna between you.

00:29:19 --> 00:29:20

If you are to go to them and

00:29:20 --> 00:29:22

say, I backbite you, I said something bad

00:29:22 --> 00:29:23

about you, please forgive me.

00:29:23 --> 00:29:25

If that's going to cause a bigger fitna,

00:29:25 --> 00:29:26

they say speak good about them in front

00:29:26 --> 00:29:28

of the same person or the same audience.

00:29:28 --> 00:29:30

The second is defend their honor when they

00:29:30 --> 00:29:31

are not there.

00:29:31 --> 00:29:32

The third is don't do this to anyone

00:29:32 --> 00:29:34

else, meaning learn from it.

00:29:34 --> 00:29:35

And the fourth is make dua for them.

00:29:36 --> 00:29:38

But you should try to restore the reputation

00:29:38 --> 00:29:40

that you took which is sacred, the sight

00:29:40 --> 00:29:40

of Allah.

00:29:41 --> 00:29:42

Here's a story just to kind of give

00:29:42 --> 00:29:43

this example.

00:29:43 --> 00:29:45

Imam Ahmed is a very famous scholar.

00:29:46 --> 00:29:48

His son Salih, rahim Allah, he said, one

00:29:48 --> 00:29:50

time a man came to my father while

00:29:50 --> 00:29:51

he was in his final illness.

00:29:51 --> 00:29:52

He was on his deathbed.

00:29:53 --> 00:29:54

And this is the final illness that he

00:29:54 --> 00:29:56

would pass away from, he would die from.

00:29:56 --> 00:29:58

So the man said to me, please ask

00:29:58 --> 00:29:59

your father to allow me to enter.

00:29:59 --> 00:30:00

I was one of the people present while

00:30:00 --> 00:30:02

your father was being tortured.

00:30:02 --> 00:30:04

Imam Ahmed was tortured for a long time

00:30:04 --> 00:30:06

because he held on to a theological belief

00:30:06 --> 00:30:09

and he defended basically orthodox Sunni Islam.

00:30:09 --> 00:30:10

Anyways, so he said, I was one of

00:30:10 --> 00:30:13

the people there and I want to ask

00:30:13 --> 00:30:13

him to forgive me.

00:30:14 --> 00:30:14

Can you imagine?

00:30:15 --> 00:30:16

He was tortured by the way and beaten.

00:30:17 --> 00:30:17

He was whipped.

00:30:18 --> 00:30:19

He was starved.

00:30:19 --> 00:30:22

He was physically hurt in prison and he

00:30:22 --> 00:30:22

was innocent.

00:30:22 --> 00:30:23

He's a scholar.

00:30:23 --> 00:30:24

So he said, I was one of the

00:30:24 --> 00:30:26

people there and I want to ask him

00:30:26 --> 00:30:27

to forgive me.

00:30:27 --> 00:30:27

Why?

00:30:27 --> 00:30:28

Because he sees Imam Ahmed is about to

00:30:28 --> 00:30:29

die.

00:30:30 --> 00:30:31

So what happens?

00:30:31 --> 00:30:31

I told the man to wait.

00:30:32 --> 00:30:32

I went to my father.

00:30:32 --> 00:30:34

I continued to ask him until he gave

00:30:34 --> 00:30:36

me permission for or he gave the man

00:30:36 --> 00:30:36

permission to enter.

00:30:36 --> 00:30:37

What happens?

00:30:37 --> 00:30:37

The man entered.

00:30:38 --> 00:30:40

This is a man who witnessed Imam Ahmed

00:30:40 --> 00:30:43

being whipped and tortured and he was innocent

00:30:43 --> 00:30:44

and this is at the end of Imam

00:30:44 --> 00:30:45

Ahmed's life.

00:30:45 --> 00:30:48

He said, O Abu Abdullah, he started to

00:30:48 --> 00:30:48

cry.

00:30:49 --> 00:30:51

He said, O Abu Abdullah, I was amongst

00:30:51 --> 00:30:52

the people who was present while you were

00:30:52 --> 00:30:55

being tortured and I'm coming to you now.

00:30:55 --> 00:30:58

If you wish to have revenge upon me,

00:30:58 --> 00:30:59

you can do whatever you want.

00:30:59 --> 00:31:00

You may have it and if you wish

00:31:00 --> 00:31:02

to forgive me, then please forgive me.

00:31:03 --> 00:31:05

And Salih said, my father said, I have

00:31:05 --> 00:31:06

one condition, one shahadah.

00:31:07 --> 00:31:08

I'll forgive you.

00:31:08 --> 00:31:09

I have one condition which is that you

00:31:09 --> 00:31:11

never do anything similar again, meaning to anyone

00:31:11 --> 00:31:12

else.

00:31:12 --> 00:31:14

He wants the man to repent not just

00:31:14 --> 00:31:16

for the man to feel good about this

00:31:16 --> 00:31:17

particular repentance.

00:31:17 --> 00:31:19

I want you to never do this to

00:31:19 --> 00:31:19

anyone again.

00:31:19 --> 00:31:20

The man agreed.

00:31:20 --> 00:31:21

He said, my father forgave him.

00:31:21 --> 00:31:23

The man left crying and he made the

00:31:23 --> 00:31:24

rest of us cry as well.

00:31:25 --> 00:31:26

It is not an easy thing to forgive

00:31:26 --> 00:31:28

and this is a moment, a very important

00:31:28 --> 00:31:31

trait that we'll keep in mind shortly inshaAllah.

00:31:31 --> 00:31:33

The second way you repent to Allah, very

00:31:33 --> 00:31:35

simple, very quick, salat al-tawbah, two rak

00:31:35 --> 00:31:36

'ahs.

00:31:36 --> 00:31:38

If you back me, you lied, you did

00:31:38 --> 00:31:40

something, you asked Allah sincerely for forgiveness, one

00:31:40 --> 00:31:42

of the best things you can do, make

00:31:42 --> 00:31:44

wudu and pray two rak'ahs, salat al

00:31:44 --> 00:31:45

-tawbah, the prayer of forgiveness.

00:31:45 --> 00:31:47

You don't have to recite anything in particular

00:31:47 --> 00:31:49

but in your sujood, ask Allah for forgiveness.

00:31:50 --> 00:31:52

The third is when you actually say, Oh

00:31:52 --> 00:31:55

Allah, forgive me for, and you specify the

00:31:55 --> 00:31:55

major sin.

00:31:55 --> 00:31:58

Many scholars say tawbah, when you remember the

00:31:58 --> 00:32:01

sins, tawbah requires specifying the major sin.

00:32:01 --> 00:32:02

And of course if you've forgotten, you say,

00:32:02 --> 00:32:04

Oh Allah, forgive me for such and such

00:32:04 --> 00:32:06

and for the things that I've forgotten, the

00:32:06 --> 00:32:07

things we remember, the things that we forgot.

00:32:08 --> 00:32:10

The fourth is a very famous dua every

00:32:10 --> 00:32:12

Muslim should be equipped with.

00:32:12 --> 00:32:14

And I hope, I pray to Allah Subh

00:32:14 --> 00:32:14

'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la, if this is

00:32:14 --> 00:32:16

not a habit you have, that starting tonight

00:32:16 --> 00:32:19

inshaAllah ta'ala we all implement this as

00:32:19 --> 00:32:19

a consistent habit.

00:32:20 --> 00:32:21

One time in the morning and one time

00:32:21 --> 00:32:22

in the evening.

00:32:22 --> 00:32:24

Athkaru sabah, athkaru al-masa.

00:32:24 --> 00:32:26

And this is the famous dua, Sayyid al

00:32:26 --> 00:32:28

-istighfar, the master dua for forgiveness.

00:32:28 --> 00:32:31

It starts with, Allahumma anta rabbi la ilaha

00:32:31 --> 00:32:31

illa anta.

00:32:31 --> 00:32:33

To the end of this dua, please learn

00:32:33 --> 00:32:35

this dua, teach it to your children, have

00:32:35 --> 00:32:38

the, written out on an index card, have

00:32:38 --> 00:32:39

the meaning explained.

00:32:39 --> 00:32:41

It is one of the greatest comprehensive dua

00:32:41 --> 00:32:42

for everything.

00:32:43 --> 00:32:43

So make sure you learn it.

00:32:43 --> 00:32:45

The Prophet ﷺ said, whoever says it in

00:32:45 --> 00:32:47

the morning dies before evening is guaranteed Jannah.

00:32:48 --> 00:32:49

Whoever says it in the evening and dies

00:32:49 --> 00:32:50

before morning, guaranteed Jannah.

00:32:50 --> 00:32:52

It's as though you have a clean slate.

00:32:53 --> 00:32:55

Number five, general istighfar, day and night.

00:32:56 --> 00:32:57

Astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah.

00:32:57 --> 00:32:59

Number six, is you try to do a

00:32:59 --> 00:33:00

lot of good deeds.

00:33:00 --> 00:33:02

One time a brother said, I slacked off

00:33:02 --> 00:33:04

and I missed a salah on its time

00:33:04 --> 00:33:04

because of my mistake.

00:33:05 --> 00:33:06

How do I make up for this?

00:33:06 --> 00:33:10

The scholars say, remember, you made up the

00:33:10 --> 00:33:11

prayer, what do you do?

00:33:11 --> 00:33:12

A lot of nawafin.

00:33:12 --> 00:33:13

You work even harder.

00:33:13 --> 00:33:15

You punish your nafs for that shortcoming, so

00:33:15 --> 00:33:16

you try to do even more.

00:33:16 --> 00:33:20

Number seven is a lot of prayer, fasting,

00:33:20 --> 00:33:22

charity, and generally to be kind to other

00:33:22 --> 00:33:22

people.

00:33:22 --> 00:33:24

These are specified in different ahadith and ayahs.

00:33:25 --> 00:33:28

And finally remember, minor sins, minor sins, are

00:33:28 --> 00:33:30

wiped away in many different ways.

00:33:30 --> 00:33:31

When you say salam to your brother or

00:33:31 --> 00:33:33

to your sister, sins are being erased.

00:33:33 --> 00:33:35

In salah, when the imam says ameen and

00:33:35 --> 00:33:38

your ameen coincides with your sins, from salah

00:33:38 --> 00:33:40

to salah, your minor sins are erased so

00:33:40 --> 00:33:41

long as you do not fall into the

00:33:41 --> 00:33:42

major sins.

00:33:42 --> 00:33:43

This is with regards to the minor sins.

00:33:44 --> 00:33:45

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive us,

00:33:46 --> 00:33:47

guide us and increase our ranks.

00:33:47 --> 00:33:47

Allahumma ameen.

00:33:48 --> 00:33:50

I want to suggest for a moment to

00:33:50 --> 00:33:51

link this to one final trait.

00:33:53 --> 00:33:55

We talked about tawbah as a matter of

00:33:55 --> 00:33:56

us turning back to Allah.

00:33:56 --> 00:33:58

The ummah cannot be revived if the inhabitants

00:33:58 --> 00:34:00

of the ummah are straying from the path

00:34:00 --> 00:34:02

and they're not turning back to it.

00:34:02 --> 00:34:04

May Allah guide us and forgive us for

00:34:04 --> 00:34:06

all of our sins, the major sins, the

00:34:06 --> 00:34:08

minor sins, the past sins, the present and

00:34:08 --> 00:34:09

the future, the sins that are public, the

00:34:09 --> 00:34:10

sins that are private.

00:34:10 --> 00:34:11

Allahumma ameen.

00:34:11 --> 00:34:14

This is directly linked to another trait.

00:34:14 --> 00:34:16

And I'll shorten this one inshaAllah ta'ala.

00:34:16 --> 00:34:18

And it is the trait of afu, forgiveness

00:34:18 --> 00:34:19

towards others.

00:34:19 --> 00:34:20

Forgiveness towards others.

00:34:20 --> 00:34:21

Just remember this.

00:34:22 --> 00:34:24

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gives us so

00:34:24 --> 00:34:26

many powerful ayahs and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi

00:34:26 --> 00:34:28

wa sallam so many reminders, so many ahadith

00:34:28 --> 00:34:32

about your relationship with people being an extension

00:34:32 --> 00:34:33

of your relationship with Allah.

00:34:34 --> 00:34:34

How?

00:34:35 --> 00:34:35

Think about this.

00:34:35 --> 00:34:37

I'm gonna go through 10 examples very fast

00:34:37 --> 00:34:39

and some of you will think of these

00:34:39 --> 00:34:40

examples and you'll recognize them.

00:34:40 --> 00:34:42

For example, be merciful to those who are

00:34:42 --> 00:34:43

on the earth, Allah will be merciful to

00:34:43 --> 00:34:44

you.

00:34:44 --> 00:34:45

Number two, spend in charity.

00:34:46 --> 00:34:47

Anfiq yamna adam unfiq alaik.

00:34:47 --> 00:34:48

Allah says, I will spend on you.

00:34:49 --> 00:34:51

Number three, concealing the faults of others, Allah

00:34:51 --> 00:34:52

will conceal your faults in this life and

00:34:52 --> 00:34:53

the next.

00:34:53 --> 00:34:55

Number four, you alleviate the hardships of other

00:34:55 --> 00:34:56

human beings.

00:34:56 --> 00:34:57

You take care of the hardships of others,

00:34:57 --> 00:34:59

Allah will take care of your hardships.

00:34:59 --> 00:35:02

Number five, wallahu feeAAooni alAAabmaa kana alAAabdu feeAAooni

00:35:02 --> 00:35:04

akhee Allah will be in your service so

00:35:04 --> 00:35:05

long as you are in the service of

00:35:05 --> 00:35:06

your brothers and your sisters.

00:35:06 --> 00:35:09

Number six, forgive other people and Allah will

00:35:09 --> 00:35:10

forgive you.

00:35:10 --> 00:35:15

waliAAafoo waliAAasfahu ala tuhibboona yaghfirAllahu lakum Do you

00:35:15 --> 00:35:16

not wish for Allah to forgive you?

00:35:16 --> 00:35:17

So forgive and pardon.

00:35:18 --> 00:35:19

So in other words, it's an extension.

00:35:19 --> 00:35:21

Number seven, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gives

00:35:21 --> 00:35:23

us the example in the hadith Qudsi, I

00:35:23 --> 00:35:24

was thirsty, O son of Adam, and you

00:35:24 --> 00:35:26

didn't give me anything to drink.

00:35:26 --> 00:35:27

Or I was hungry, you didn't give me

00:35:27 --> 00:35:28

anything to eat.

00:35:28 --> 00:35:29

And the man on the day of judgment

00:35:29 --> 00:35:30

says, how, ya Allah, when you are the

00:35:30 --> 00:35:30

Lord of the worlds?

00:35:31 --> 00:35:33

Didn't you know that my servant was hungry?

00:35:33 --> 00:35:35

Didn't you know my servant was thirsty to

00:35:35 --> 00:35:35

paraphrase.

00:35:36 --> 00:35:38

Number eight, when you cut people off family

00:35:38 --> 00:35:40

or your brother and your sister, and you're

00:35:40 --> 00:35:41

not allowed to, it's a situation that is

00:35:41 --> 00:35:44

not a rare exception, Allah will cut you

00:35:44 --> 00:35:44

off.

00:35:44 --> 00:35:46

I mean, there's a cutting off of some

00:35:46 --> 00:35:47

darakah, some rizq.

00:35:47 --> 00:35:49

Number nine, when you thank people, it's like

00:35:49 --> 00:35:51

you're thanking Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala as

00:35:51 --> 00:35:51

well.

00:35:51 --> 00:35:53

And finally, number 10, when you speak on

00:35:53 --> 00:35:55

behalf of the oppressed and you defend those

00:35:55 --> 00:35:56

who are suffering, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:35:56 --> 00:35:59

will protect you and bring you divine support

00:35:59 --> 00:35:59

as well.

00:35:59 --> 00:36:00

What does this all mean?

00:36:02 --> 00:36:04

Forgiveness starts with the people closest to you.

00:36:04 --> 00:36:08

Sometimes people are very generous in forgiving strangers,

00:36:09 --> 00:36:10

you know, giving people the benefit of the

00:36:10 --> 00:36:10

doubt.

00:36:11 --> 00:36:12

But their own family because they've been around

00:36:12 --> 00:36:15

for so long, because they've accumulated a lot

00:36:15 --> 00:36:17

of different types of resentment or different problems

00:36:17 --> 00:36:19

that haven't been dealt with, they stop forgiving

00:36:19 --> 00:36:20

them as quickly.

00:36:20 --> 00:36:21

They start lashing out at them.

00:36:21 --> 00:36:24

They lash out at their children, their parents,

00:36:24 --> 00:36:25

their husband, their wife very quickly.

00:36:26 --> 00:36:28

And the people that deserve your best treatment

00:36:28 --> 00:36:29

are your family members.

00:36:29 --> 00:36:31

The people that deserve the kindest treatment and

00:36:31 --> 00:36:33

the greatest standard of forgiveness is your family.

00:36:34 --> 00:36:38

But sometimes people conflate forgiveness with justifying oppression.

00:36:39 --> 00:36:39

They are not the same.

00:36:40 --> 00:36:42

You could forgive someone who is oppressing, oppressing

00:36:42 --> 00:36:44

you, hurting your feelings, saying things to you,

00:36:44 --> 00:36:45

and you forgive, and you forgive, and you

00:36:45 --> 00:36:45

forgive.

00:36:46 --> 00:36:47

And you have a great reward with Allah

00:36:47 --> 00:36:47

subhanahu wa ta'ala.

00:36:48 --> 00:36:50

And we have an example of this in

00:36:50 --> 00:36:52

which a man comes to the Prophet ﷺ

00:36:52 --> 00:36:53

in Sahih Muslim.

00:36:53 --> 00:36:54

He says, I have relatives.

00:36:55 --> 00:36:56

I try to keep in touch with them,

00:36:56 --> 00:36:57

they cut me off.

00:36:57 --> 00:36:59

I treat them well, they abuse me.

00:36:59 --> 00:37:01

I'm patient and kind to them, but they

00:37:01 --> 00:37:01

insult me.

00:37:01 --> 00:37:03

In the United States of America, with a

00:37:03 --> 00:37:05

lot of different movements today, you will have

00:37:05 --> 00:37:06

most people telling you what?

00:37:06 --> 00:37:07

Cut them off.

00:37:07 --> 00:37:08

Put your boundaries in place.

00:37:09 --> 00:37:11

If they're mean to you, don't handle it.

00:37:11 --> 00:37:12

You don't have to handle anything.

00:37:13 --> 00:37:14

You don't have to have a thick skin.

00:37:14 --> 00:37:15

Just don't deal with them.

00:37:15 --> 00:37:15

Block them.

00:37:15 --> 00:37:17

Who cares if they're your uncles, your aunts,

00:37:17 --> 00:37:18

your parents.

00:37:18 --> 00:37:22

So estrangement, family disconnection, is in fact at

00:37:22 --> 00:37:25

a proportionate high in America, disproportionately higher in

00:37:25 --> 00:37:28

America and many Western countries than many other

00:37:28 --> 00:37:29

places in the world because family is not

00:37:29 --> 00:37:30

that important.

00:37:30 --> 00:37:32

If you don't like that somebody said something

00:37:32 --> 00:37:33

mean to you, just cut them off and

00:37:33 --> 00:37:33

block them.

00:37:33 --> 00:37:34

Leave the WhatsApp group.

00:37:34 --> 00:37:36

Who cares if these are your parents, these

00:37:36 --> 00:37:36

are your children?

00:37:37 --> 00:37:37

Who cares?

00:37:38 --> 00:37:40

So it's very easy to misunderstand what it

00:37:40 --> 00:37:42

means to put a boundary and when the

00:37:42 --> 00:37:43

exception is in place.

00:37:43 --> 00:37:44

Are there exceptions?

00:37:44 --> 00:37:44

Yes.

00:37:45 --> 00:37:46

We're not talking about the exceptions.

00:37:46 --> 00:37:47

We're talking about the default.

00:37:48 --> 00:37:49

The default is صلة و رحم.

00:37:49 --> 00:37:51

So the man is talking about cousins, uncles,

00:37:51 --> 00:37:51

aunts.

00:37:52 --> 00:37:54

He's talking about relatives who abuse him and

00:37:54 --> 00:37:54

hurt him.

00:37:55 --> 00:37:56

If this was in 21st century America, you

00:37:56 --> 00:37:57

would think what?

00:37:57 --> 00:37:58

Don't talk to them.

00:37:58 --> 00:37:59

Okay, cut them off if they don't want

00:37:59 --> 00:38:00

to talk to you.

00:38:00 --> 00:38:03

And the Prophet ﷺ is hearing this man's

00:38:03 --> 00:38:05

complaint and he said, if things are as

00:38:05 --> 00:38:07

you say, if you're really acting like that,

00:38:08 --> 00:38:10

you're doing good, they're being evil, you're connecting

00:38:10 --> 00:38:12

to them, salam and they're cutting you off.

00:38:12 --> 00:38:15

If that's the case, then it's as if

00:38:15 --> 00:38:16

they are putting dust in their own mouth.

00:38:16 --> 00:38:18

Meaning it's as if they're punishing themselves with

00:38:18 --> 00:38:19

this sin.

00:38:19 --> 00:38:20

They're going to regret it later.

00:38:21 --> 00:38:23

Allah will continue to support you as long

00:38:23 --> 00:38:24

as you continue to do what you're doing.

00:38:24 --> 00:38:27

Allah will continue to support you so long

00:38:27 --> 00:38:28

as you do what you're doing.

00:38:28 --> 00:38:30

There are many exceptions no doubt.

00:38:30 --> 00:38:31

Please don't misunderstand.

00:38:32 --> 00:38:34

And the exceptions should be dealt with with

00:38:34 --> 00:38:37

a personal fatwa, personal counseling, with therapists, with

00:38:37 --> 00:38:37

scholars.

00:38:37 --> 00:38:39

This is not the example of an exception.

00:38:39 --> 00:38:41

We're talking about the default ruling.

00:38:41 --> 00:38:43

The emphasis is on silatur rahim.

00:38:43 --> 00:38:45

There are people who say, I don't want

00:38:45 --> 00:38:45

to forgive.

00:38:46 --> 00:38:48

But at times, you don't need to get

00:38:48 --> 00:38:49

to the point where you have to forgive

00:38:49 --> 00:38:51

if you can also prevent conflicts.

00:38:52 --> 00:38:55

If we can learn generally about conflict resolution,

00:38:55 --> 00:38:57

how to communicate, how to talk to another,

00:38:57 --> 00:38:59

how to hold back one's anger.

00:38:59 --> 00:39:01

Sometimes people are just trying to win arguments.

00:39:01 --> 00:39:04

So they are fighting with strangers, with community

00:39:04 --> 00:39:06

members, with their family all the time.

00:39:06 --> 00:39:06

They're lashing out.

00:39:06 --> 00:39:08

It's about who gets the last word, who

00:39:08 --> 00:39:09

wins the argument.

00:39:10 --> 00:39:12

You're waiting to respond, not waiting to listen.

00:39:12 --> 00:39:13

May Allah protect us and forgive us and

00:39:13 --> 00:39:14

keep our hearts united as well.

00:39:15 --> 00:39:17

Remember this, two angry people don't solve any

00:39:17 --> 00:39:18

problems.

00:39:18 --> 00:39:20

Have you ever seen two really angry people

00:39:20 --> 00:39:21

solve a problem in terms of the conflict?

00:39:21 --> 00:39:22

They don't.

00:39:22 --> 00:39:23

They're insulting each other.

00:39:23 --> 00:39:24

Things are escalating.

00:39:25 --> 00:39:26

Things are getting worse.

00:39:26 --> 00:39:27

Someone has to intervene.

00:39:27 --> 00:39:28

So what happens?

00:39:29 --> 00:39:30

Imam Ahmed was an example of this.

00:39:30 --> 00:39:32

Somebody told him once, he said, I didn't

00:39:32 --> 00:39:34

argue with my wife, may Allah have mercy

00:39:34 --> 00:39:35

on her, in his old age when she

00:39:35 --> 00:39:37

had passed away for many decades.

00:39:37 --> 00:39:38

I think in one report, they said like

00:39:38 --> 00:39:40

30 or 40 years, which like we don't

00:39:40 --> 00:39:42

hear people saying, I never argued with my

00:39:42 --> 00:39:43

husband, never argued with my wife for 40

00:39:43 --> 00:39:44

years.

00:39:44 --> 00:39:45

Who would say something like this?

00:39:45 --> 00:39:47

They said to him, how is that possible?

00:39:48 --> 00:39:49

How did you not argue?

00:39:50 --> 00:39:51

Argue, by the way, doesn't mean like a

00:39:51 --> 00:39:52

back and forth.

00:39:52 --> 00:39:54

It means like an argument, a heated argument.

00:39:54 --> 00:39:56

We didn't fight for 40 years.

00:39:57 --> 00:39:59

He said when she was extremely angry, I

00:39:59 --> 00:40:00

would remain silent.

00:40:00 --> 00:40:02

When I was extremely angry, she would remain

00:40:02 --> 00:40:02

silent.

00:40:03 --> 00:40:04

Two angry people don't solve problems.

00:40:05 --> 00:40:07

Silence is one of many things you're allowed

00:40:07 --> 00:40:07

to do.

00:40:07 --> 00:40:10

The sunnah emphasizes istiAAadah because shaitan will come

00:40:10 --> 00:40:12

to an angry person and try to fuel

00:40:12 --> 00:40:13

the anger.

00:40:13 --> 00:40:14

You know what I'm talking about.

00:40:14 --> 00:40:16

Make them and feel like they have to

00:40:16 --> 00:40:17

say something they don't usually say.

00:40:18 --> 00:40:19

They'll insult, they'll hurt.

00:40:19 --> 00:40:20

And then later on they say, I'm so

00:40:20 --> 00:40:21

sorry, I didn't mean it.

00:40:21 --> 00:40:22

Well, it would have been better if you

00:40:22 --> 00:40:23

didn't say it.

00:40:23 --> 00:40:24

Would have been better if you thought.

00:40:25 --> 00:40:26

Stay silent and say, you know what, I

00:40:26 --> 00:40:27

actually, I want to stay calm.

00:40:27 --> 00:40:28

I don't want to say the wrong thing

00:40:28 --> 00:40:28

right now.

00:40:29 --> 00:40:30

So let me process what just happened and

00:40:30 --> 00:40:31

come back to it later.

00:40:31 --> 00:40:32

Let's talk about it in a minute.

00:40:32 --> 00:40:33

Let's talk about it in an hour.

00:40:33 --> 00:40:35

Let's talk about it in the right environment,

00:40:35 --> 00:40:36

in the right place and time.

00:40:36 --> 00:40:39

Second thing to keep in mind is for

00:40:39 --> 00:40:42

us generally to forgive other people is to

00:40:42 --> 00:40:42

keep an open mind.

00:40:43 --> 00:40:45

To look at other people's perspectives really, really

00:40:45 --> 00:40:46

sincerely.

00:40:46 --> 00:40:48

Put yourself in their shoes as best as

00:40:48 --> 00:40:48

you can.

00:40:48 --> 00:40:49

Be more compassionate.

00:40:50 --> 00:40:51

Have some emotional intelligence.

00:40:51 --> 00:40:53

Learn from the Prophet ﷺ.

00:40:54 --> 00:40:55

Look for areas of agreement.

00:40:55 --> 00:40:56

Start with what you agree on.

00:40:56 --> 00:40:58

Start with trying to understand validly.

00:40:58 --> 00:41:00

You know what, I understand what you're saying.

00:41:00 --> 00:41:01

I agree with what you're saying.

00:41:02 --> 00:41:03

However, I also this, this and this and

00:41:03 --> 00:41:04

that.

00:41:04 --> 00:41:05

So you don't have to escalate the matter.

00:41:06 --> 00:41:07

The other thing to keep in mind is

00:41:07 --> 00:41:11

that there is nothing embarrassing in Islam about

00:41:11 --> 00:41:12

saying, I'm sorry, I was wrong.

00:41:13 --> 00:41:15

In fact, it's more shameful for someone to

00:41:15 --> 00:41:16

go a year or two or three and

00:41:16 --> 00:41:17

never admit that they were wrong.

00:41:18 --> 00:41:19

For their family, the ones who are closest

00:41:19 --> 00:41:21

to you, for you to never say I

00:41:21 --> 00:41:22

was wrong.

00:41:22 --> 00:41:24

And of course, this requires at times people

00:41:24 --> 00:41:27

to be very compassionate, to have empathy as

00:41:27 --> 00:41:27

well for one another.

00:41:27 --> 00:41:29

May Allah ﷻ forgive us.

00:41:29 --> 00:41:31

Just think about this, the famous example.

00:41:31 --> 00:41:33

Aisha radiAllahu anha was slandered.

00:41:34 --> 00:41:35

I want you to imagine the house of

00:41:35 --> 00:41:36

Rasulullah ﷺ.

00:41:37 --> 00:41:38

Imagine everyone in Medina is talking about it.

00:41:38 --> 00:41:39

The slander of Aisha.

00:41:40 --> 00:41:42

She came back late from, she had lost

00:41:42 --> 00:41:43

her necklace, went back to look for it.

00:41:43 --> 00:41:46

One of the companions, Safwan radiAllahu anha was

00:41:46 --> 00:41:46

there.

00:41:46 --> 00:41:48

He helped her find her way back to

00:41:48 --> 00:41:49

the caravan that had left without her.

00:41:50 --> 00:41:52

So some of the munafiqeen, the hypocrites, look

00:41:52 --> 00:41:52

how evil they are.

00:41:52 --> 00:41:54

They started a rumor about her and about

00:41:54 --> 00:41:54

Safwan.

00:41:55 --> 00:41:56

And it spread in Medina.

00:41:56 --> 00:41:57

And it took some time until the ayat

00:41:57 --> 00:41:59

of Surah An-Nur were revealed.

00:41:59 --> 00:42:01

So people are gossiping about Aisha radiAllahu anha.

00:42:02 --> 00:42:03

Imagine her family.

00:42:04 --> 00:42:05

Imagine her father Abu Bakr.

00:42:05 --> 00:42:08

Imagine the Prophet ﷺ, the husband.

00:42:08 --> 00:42:09

Imagine how they all felt.

00:42:10 --> 00:42:11

Imagine Aisha radiAllahu anha.

00:42:12 --> 00:42:15

When the ayat came down and Allah from

00:42:15 --> 00:42:18

above the heavens declared her innocence and condemned

00:42:18 --> 00:42:21

those who gossiped, condemned those who passed on

00:42:21 --> 00:42:23

a rumor without verifying things.

00:42:23 --> 00:42:24

We're just talking.

00:42:24 --> 00:42:25

We didn't verify, we're just talking.

00:42:26 --> 00:42:27

At the end of the finale, at the

00:42:27 --> 00:42:28

end of this revelation is what?

00:42:30 --> 00:42:32

وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا Let them pardon and forgive.

00:42:32 --> 00:42:34

Do you not wish for Allah to forgive

00:42:34 --> 00:42:34

you?

00:42:35 --> 00:42:38

Abu Bakr, at this time, he used to

00:42:38 --> 00:42:39

give an allowance to one of his relatives,

00:42:40 --> 00:42:40

his cousin.

00:42:41 --> 00:42:42

He used to pay his allowance meaning the

00:42:42 --> 00:42:43

man didn't have enough money.

00:42:44 --> 00:42:46

Imagine you're taking care of someone, a relative.

00:42:46 --> 00:42:47

You're helping them.

00:42:48 --> 00:42:49

You're literally helping them survive.

00:42:49 --> 00:42:51

You find out they were one of the

00:42:51 --> 00:42:53

people in the city who passed on the

00:42:53 --> 00:42:56

rumor about your wife, your daughter, your family

00:42:56 --> 00:42:57

member.

00:42:58 --> 00:42:58

So what did Abu Bakr do?

00:42:59 --> 00:42:59

He cut him off.

00:42:59 --> 00:43:00

Of course, I'm not gonna give you any

00:43:00 --> 00:43:01

more money.

00:43:01 --> 00:43:02

I'm not gonna support you.

00:43:03 --> 00:43:03

So what happens?

00:43:03 --> 00:43:05

When Allah says, let them pardon and forgive.

00:43:06 --> 00:43:08

Don't you wish for Allah to forgive you?

00:43:09 --> 00:43:11

Abu Bakr radiAllahu anha, he heard this and

00:43:11 --> 00:43:12

he said, yes, yes, I wish for Allah

00:43:12 --> 00:43:13

to forgive me.

00:43:14 --> 00:43:15

And he forgave his cousin.

00:43:15 --> 00:43:17

In fact, look at his wara, his piety.

00:43:17 --> 00:43:20

He increased the amount of allowance, the charity

00:43:20 --> 00:43:21

that he was giving him.

00:43:21 --> 00:43:24

But is that something we are even remotely

00:43:24 --> 00:43:25

capable of doing?

00:43:26 --> 00:43:28

We hold on to grudges for a lot

00:43:28 --> 00:43:28

less.

00:43:29 --> 00:43:29

May Allah forgive us.

00:43:30 --> 00:43:32

We hold on to grudges for a lot

00:43:32 --> 00:43:33

less than that.

00:43:35 --> 00:43:36

Show forgiveness.

00:43:37 --> 00:43:38

Enjoying what is good.

00:43:38 --> 00:43:39

Turn away from the people who are ignorant.

00:43:40 --> 00:43:41

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala reminds us so

00:43:41 --> 00:43:42

that we restrain ourselves.

00:43:45 --> 00:43:47

Those who give in charity, times of ease

00:43:47 --> 00:43:47

and hardship.

00:43:48 --> 00:43:52

And then, وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظِ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ وَاللَّهُ

00:43:52 --> 00:43:54

يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ The scholars say, why does Allah

00:43:54 --> 00:43:56

talk about two different types of people with

00:43:56 --> 00:43:57

regards to anger?

00:43:58 --> 00:44:00

كاظمين الغيظ are not people who don't have

00:44:00 --> 00:44:00

anger.

00:44:00 --> 00:44:02

They are people who hold back their anger.

00:44:02 --> 00:44:04

لا تغضب means hold back your anger.

00:44:04 --> 00:44:05

Be careful.

00:44:05 --> 00:44:07

Because some people inclined to غضب more than

00:44:07 --> 00:44:08

others.

00:44:08 --> 00:44:10

So if that's your personality, that's something you

00:44:10 --> 00:44:11

have to work on.

00:44:11 --> 00:44:11

That's your jihad.

00:44:12 --> 00:44:14

That you hold yourself back, especially with your

00:44:14 --> 00:44:14

family.

00:44:14 --> 00:44:17

And then, وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ Why are they

00:44:17 --> 00:44:18

distinguished here?

00:44:18 --> 00:44:20

The scholars say, you might hold your anger

00:44:20 --> 00:44:22

back from someone, but you hold on to

00:44:22 --> 00:44:22

a grudge.

00:44:23 --> 00:44:25

So if you're holding back with regards to

00:44:25 --> 00:44:27

your anger from your friend, your family, take

00:44:27 --> 00:44:28

the next step.

00:44:28 --> 00:44:29

What's better than that?

00:44:29 --> 00:44:31

One of the hardest acts of worship is

00:44:31 --> 00:44:32

to forgive other people.

00:44:33 --> 00:44:36

Knowing that, remember this, if what they did

00:44:36 --> 00:44:37

to you, if you had to put a

00:44:37 --> 00:44:39

number on it, let's say it's worth one

00:44:39 --> 00:44:41

million as a value, put any number you

00:44:41 --> 00:44:42

want.

00:44:42 --> 00:44:43

Remind yourself of this.

00:44:43 --> 00:44:47

The act of pardoning someone else sincerely is

00:44:47 --> 00:44:49

worth so much more than if you were

00:44:49 --> 00:44:51

to hold on to the right that they

00:44:51 --> 00:44:51

took from you.

00:44:52 --> 00:44:52

Meaning what?

00:44:52 --> 00:44:54

If somebody hurt you in this world, you

00:44:54 --> 00:44:56

are allowed to technically say, I want to

00:44:56 --> 00:44:57

hold on to my right.

00:44:58 --> 00:44:59

And on the day of judgment, I'm going

00:44:59 --> 00:45:00

to get back the one million.

00:45:00 --> 00:45:01

I'm going to get back the 10.

00:45:01 --> 00:45:02

I'm going to get back the 100.

00:45:03 --> 00:45:05

But the 100, if you had forgiven that

00:45:05 --> 00:45:06

person for the sake of Allah, and so

00:45:06 --> 00:45:09

that you are more forgiven, perhaps you'll get

00:45:09 --> 00:45:10

back a billion on the day of judgment.

00:45:11 --> 00:45:13

So when you're dealing with Allah subhanahu wa

00:45:13 --> 00:45:15

ta'ala, the one who forgives, the one

00:45:15 --> 00:45:17

who pardons, you remember, we make so many

00:45:17 --> 00:45:20

mistakes with Allah, we don't hold grudges against

00:45:20 --> 00:45:21

ourselves, our nafs, we move on very fast

00:45:21 --> 00:45:22

like nothing happened.

00:45:22 --> 00:45:23

Astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah.

00:45:23 --> 00:45:25

We just spoke about tawbah.

00:45:25 --> 00:45:27

But the one who pardons thinks, I want

00:45:27 --> 00:45:28

Allah to pardon me.

00:45:28 --> 00:45:29

I want Allah to forgive me.

00:45:30 --> 00:45:33

وَلَمَن صَبَرَ وَغَفَرَ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ لَمِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ

00:45:33 --> 00:45:35

The one who is patient, they endure and

00:45:35 --> 00:45:36

they forgive.

00:45:36 --> 00:45:38

This is one of the greatest things to

00:45:38 --> 00:45:42

aspire to have in terms of resolutions, in

00:45:42 --> 00:45:43

terms of resilience.

00:45:43 --> 00:45:44

And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala reminds us

00:45:44 --> 00:45:46

because we are always in need of these

00:45:46 --> 00:45:47

reminders as human beings.

00:45:47 --> 00:45:50

We interact often, we make mistakes often, we

00:45:50 --> 00:45:52

hurt other people often, we expect people to

00:45:52 --> 00:45:54

forgive when we make mistakes, but sometimes we

00:45:54 --> 00:45:54

hold on.

00:45:55 --> 00:45:57

And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he

00:45:57 --> 00:46:00

said, وَمَا زَادَ اللَّهُ عَبْدًا بِعَفْوٍ إِلَّا عِزَّةً

00:46:00 --> 00:46:03

وَمَا تَوَضَعَ أَحَدٌ لِلَّهِ إِلَّا رَفَعُوا اللَّهُ Charity

00:46:03 --> 00:46:04

does not decrease wealth.

00:46:04 --> 00:46:07

No one forgives someone else except that Allah

00:46:07 --> 00:46:08

increases his or her honor.

00:46:08 --> 00:46:10

Allah will increase your honor when you forgive

00:46:10 --> 00:46:12

because it's not easy.

00:46:12 --> 00:46:13

It's not easy.

00:46:13 --> 00:46:14

You have to have humility.

00:46:14 --> 00:46:17

And no one humbles himself for the sake

00:46:17 --> 00:46:18

of Allah except that Allah will raise your

00:46:18 --> 00:46:18

status.

00:46:19 --> 00:46:21

This is a status you cannot reach without

00:46:21 --> 00:46:23

forgiving other people.

00:46:24 --> 00:46:25

One of the things that we need to

00:46:25 --> 00:46:27

help revive the ummah is to be people

00:46:27 --> 00:46:29

of tawbah, where we turn back to Allah,

00:46:29 --> 00:46:30

asking for forgiveness.

00:46:31 --> 00:46:33

And we hope optimistically we are forgiven, we

00:46:33 --> 00:46:34

try harder.

00:46:34 --> 00:46:36

But also when other people hurt us that

00:46:36 --> 00:46:36

we are more forgiving.

00:46:36 --> 00:46:39

This doesn't justify ongoing abuse.

00:46:39 --> 00:46:42

This doesn't justify situations that are rare, that

00:46:42 --> 00:46:42

are exceptional.

00:46:43 --> 00:46:44

These are situations that need to be dealt

00:46:44 --> 00:46:44

with.

00:46:44 --> 00:46:48

But still remember, by definition, anything that has

00:46:48 --> 00:46:50

a great reward on the Day of Judgment

00:46:50 --> 00:46:52

is because it required great sabr and discipline

00:46:52 --> 00:46:53

in this world.

00:46:54 --> 00:46:55

And it is worth it to stand on

00:46:55 --> 00:46:56

the Day of Judgment and say, I emptied

00:46:56 --> 00:46:58

out my heart, I forgave and I hope

00:46:58 --> 00:47:00

that Allah has given me so much more

00:47:00 --> 00:47:02

than what I lost in a dunya.

00:47:02 --> 00:47:03

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive us

00:47:03 --> 00:47:06

and bring our hearts together and allow our

00:47:06 --> 00:47:08

community and our ummah at the global level

00:47:08 --> 00:47:11

to continuously grow and get closer to Him.

00:47:11 --> 00:47:13

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bring down

00:47:13 --> 00:47:15

His pardon, His forgiveness, His mercy, His relief,

00:47:16 --> 00:47:18

His justice to our brothers and sisters in

00:47:18 --> 00:47:19

every land, in every place.

00:47:20 --> 00:47:21

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala utilize us

00:47:21 --> 00:47:24

to facilitate goodness wherever we are in the

00:47:24 --> 00:47:25

world, whenever it is.

00:47:26 --> 00:47:27

We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to

00:47:27 --> 00:47:29

forgive us for all of our sins, the

00:47:29 --> 00:47:30

major and the minor, the past, present and

00:47:30 --> 00:47:30

future.

00:47:31 --> 00:47:32

The sins we remember, the sins that we

00:47:32 --> 00:47:32

forgot.

00:47:33 --> 00:47:34

We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to

00:47:34 --> 00:47:36

allow us to leave this world with a

00:47:36 --> 00:47:38

clean slate, dying upon la ilaha illa Allah.

00:47:39 --> 00:47:40

And we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:47:40 --> 00:47:41

to resurrect us in a good state as

00:47:41 --> 00:47:42

well.

00:47:45 --> 00:47:48

We do not have next week a session

00:47:49 --> 00:47:50

for just a winter break.

00:47:50 --> 00:47:52

Some people are traveling, family, things like that.

00:47:52 --> 00:47:54

We will resume in 2024 inshaAllah ta'ala

00:47:54 --> 00:47:55

on Tuesdays.

00:47:55 --> 00:47:57

We will resume in 2024 on Tuesdays and

00:47:57 --> 00:48:00

the announcement will go out when we resume

00:48:00 --> 00:48:00

inshaAllah.

00:48:01 --> 00:48:02

But until then, may Allah subhanahu wa ta

00:48:02 --> 00:48:03

'ala protect you all and bless you and

00:48:03 --> 00:48:04

elevate your ranks.

00:48:04 --> 00:48:06

Keep doing the amazing work that you're doing.

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