Suleiman Hani – Bridging The Gap Between Generations

AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the challenges faced by families in various countries and their experiences with different forms of slavery. They emphasize the importance of learning about the challenges faced by generations and embracing the Prophet's teachings. They also discuss the importance of shaping behavior and leadership through social media and the impact of social media on individuals, parents, and children. The speakers emphasize the need for individuals to practice proper manners and build their own mentality while also educating others on Islam and bringing their children to the United States.
AI: Summary ©
When you see families in different contexts around
the world, whether here in the U.S.,
in your own community, or you see families
celebrating in Bangladesh, you see families protesting together
in Pakistan, you see families suffering together with
different forms of oppression in Yemen, you see
families in Gaza, many of whom have become
orphaned, many of whom lost the majority of
their families.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala accept them
all as shuhada.
You see families in Syria celebrating together.
You see many families wondering, perhaps over a
million Syrians in different countries, wondering as they
head back with a sense of optimism and
hope, but a little bit of uncertainty about
what the future holds.
You see them planning together, moving together, thinking
together, collectively growing, supporting each other.
And during these times, and especially in these
contexts, with the rise of individualism, with the
rise of the expressions that many people have
shared, the sentiments of having family but feeling
alone, having community but feeling isolated, having social
media and connections to the world but feeling
more alone than ever before.
It is important for us, when we observe
these contexts and these changes and these trends,
to understand some basic things and to remind
one another as a community and as families
about the command of Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala.
Oh you who believe, 89 times in the
Qur'an, pay attention for Allah will tell
you about something good for you to implement,
a command that leads to something fruitful or
something harmful or prohibited so that you may
avoid it, a warning.
In this context, it is a warning and
a command.
Protect yourselves and your families from the fire.
And the ayah continues in surat al-Tahrim.
We think of some of the challenges of
families in general across the world, regardless of
ethnicity and even sometimes regardless of religion.
We find that one of the greatest struggles
from a sociological perspective is the disconnect between
generations.
The misunderstandings, the misconceptions, sometimes the ego that
plays a role.
So what is it that the young generation,
Gen Z and Gen Alpha, would need to
know about their parents or their older, much
older siblings or the generations that came before
and vice versa?
What is it that parents need to know
about their children and their struggles, their challenges,
their opportunities that would bring people closer together?
Because in reality, from the 1990s onward, according
to some sociologists, the generational changes have increased,
meaning the increment itself has become more rapid
and smaller.
So there are faster changes and adoptions with
technology and cultural norms and globalization, the rise
of cultural fluidity, that people are exposed to
so many different things at the same time
at a younger age as well.
So it's important for us to recognize this
and to start with a context, to understand
what is the context of the family member
that I have or the youth in my
community?
And it doesn't have to be the case
that everyone who's listening to this is in
the same stage of life or has children
or has parents who are alive.
May Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la
have mercy on our loved ones who passed
away.
But it is important that we recognize that
the growth and rebuilding and revival of the
ummah is a collective responsibility.
And so it is a collective responsibility to
learn about one another, to learn about the
challenges, because we hear frequently from parents, we
hear frequently from children saying or expressing things
like, well, I don't really understand this thing,
and then they move on as though the
curiosity is not important.
To understand what the challenges were for the
generations before, what the challenges were for your
parents, what the challenges were in their context.
So the first thing we recognize from an
Islamic lens is to meet people where they
are.
Find out what it is that they are
going through, relate to them, and advise and
connect and communicate.
And the Prophet ﷺ was amazing at this.
The youth never felt surrounding the Prophet ﷺ
like they didn't have value or importance.
And even in terms of their presence in
some of the most notable and memorable gatherings
of the companions in the seat of the
Prophet ﷺ.
But of course, in the very famous hadith,
Prophet ﷺ advises the young companion Abdullah ibn
Abbas radiyallahu anhuma, he advises him, يَا غُلَامْ
إِنِّي أَعَلِّمُكَ كَلِمَاتٍ I want to teach you
some words.
I will teach you some words.
احفظ الله يحفظك Be mindful of Allah and
Allah will protect you.
احفظ الله تجده تجاهك Be mindful of Allah
and you will find him in front of
you, meaning close to you in terms of
his mercy, his protection, his dua.
إذا سألت فاسأل الله If you ask for
help, ask of Allah.
وإذا استعنت فاستعن بالله And if you want
to seek help, seek help from Allah.
And the hadith continues and there's an element
of qadar, an element of trust in Allah,
an element of tawheed.
But the point behind this particular narration is
that the Prophet ﷺ in this context, in
this lens, he's advising someone very young, some
of the most powerful comprehensive words that we
have memorized as believers.
And we ask Allah to make us from
amongst those who recognize and repeat and memorize
and live upon these words and die upon
them as well.
The Prophet ﷺ is teaching tawheed, the oneness
of Allah, to a young companion, teaching him
courage and resilience and trust in Allah, teaching
him not to be afraid of the creation,
but to put your trust in the Creator.
And with this, of course, we recognize that
for many of the younger generation today, despite
what their parents may or may not be
aware of, a lot of their information about
life and values, morality and ontology, God, what
is good, what is bad, it's taken from
social media if that is something that they
have regular access to.
And the reason this is important to know
is because when you look at social media
in general, again from a sociological lens, you
find different studies and different impacts and many
of them are negative and there are a
few positive things as well.
But amongst them is that from an Islamic
lens, the knowledge that is taken about Islam
is usually taken from people who are not
qualified.
Not always, but usually.
The people who are loudest, most controversial, people
who have influence positions.
So if they are influencers, they are more
likely to share opinions about everything and anything.
And because they have following, this is seen
as social proof.
You know what?
5,000 people are live watching this person.
Let me listen as well.
A million people follow this person and it's
seen as a credible thing.
This is a form of credentials.
And this is very problematic because we know
that from an Islamic lens, the most important
thing is that we take our knowledge of
any field, but especially of Islam.
We take it from the right sources.
We understand what is good, what is bad,
what is qualified, what is not.
And with this as well, of course the
reminder of the Prophet ﷺ, be mindful of
Allah and Allah will protect you.
The reminder here is one that's not just
for Gen Z.
It's not just for Gen Alpha, those who
were born in the 2010s all the way
to the present.
It's for all of us.
The Prophet ﷺ's teachings and his practice
demonstrate to us more than anything else the
importance of modeling the action you want others
to follow.
And if children hear these advices from their
parents, they hear from them the command to
do X, Y, and Z.
But they themselves practice the opposite and they
themselves are exemplifying the opposite.
The children will take more from what they
see rather than what they hear.
And we ask Allah ﷻ to guide us
and guide others through us.
Many youth, for example, in the U.S.
and around the world will express this sentiment
that they don't see their parents practicing Islam.
And you ask, what do you mean by
that?
They say, well, yes, sometimes we pray together,
if that.
Sometimes we don't even pray together as a
family.
Sometimes we don't see our parents praying at
all.
Sometimes we hear from our parents, read the
Qur'an, and they don't see their parents
reciting the Qur'an at all.
Morning, evening supplications, none of that.
And it might be that some parents are
not doing these things, but it might be
also some parents are doing these things when
the children are not around.
And there is a lesson in that as
well in terms of demonstrating, sometimes being present
with your children when these things are happening.
But another example of practicing the opposite is
when parents give very young children devices so
they would stop nagging them and bothering them
and the parents would have some moment of
freedom for a few hours.
And that child then becomes addicted to all
the apps that are made to addict people.
And as the child grows older, now the
parents is more concerned, like you need to
study, you need to live your life, you
need to grow intellectually, I'm seeing some harm.
Whose fault is it that the child was
glued to that device in the first place?
And it's not to say that it's an
easy thing.
It's not to say that this is something
that sometimes is out of our control.
But there are measures we can take.
And as a family, we start with recognizing
the context, that we look up to the
Prophet ﷺ, and we teach this and reference
it and talk about it often as families,
that he is our role model.
We start with that.
The Prophet ﷺ is the ultimate role model
for mankind.
لَقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ
لِمَنْ كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرِ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ
كَثِيرًا There is indeed in the message of
Allah the ultimate example for the ones who
seek Allah's pleasure.
They're looking at the afterlife and they remember
Allah with much remembrance.
What did he do?
He integrated the youth.
He listened to them.
He was very receptive.
He was emotionally intelligent ﷺ.
He didn't have this concept of, hey, you
know what, the elders are talking, you guys
all leave, go and play.
It was usually bring the youth into learning
from these experiences, even if they are listening.
What helps them mature more than showing them
how to respond to crisis, showing them what
you're going through and planning and strategizing as
a family and as a community for the
ummah.
And of course, there are exceptions to this.
But the point is that as they grow
older, one of the things that aids them
in their maturity and responsibility and leadership and
tarbiyah and development is to show them that
they are valuable, even if they are just
listening to this.
With this as well, we emphasize the Prophet
ﷺ.
Never do we find that a young person
came up to him asking about a taboo
topic in the culture, and he like shunned
them and turned them away, made them feel
like their questions are weird or bizarre.
You can't be talking about this.
And so oftentimes, many youth feel a disconnect
from their parents, from faith, from culture, from
identity, because they feel there are many topics
that their parents will never address with them.
But everyone in the world is talking about
them.
Social media is rampant with them.
And if they don't hear about it or
learn about it in the home or from
their parents or qualified mentors, they are going
to be talking about it regardless.
And many times parents are shocked to find
out that their sons and their daughters are
exposed to conversations way before the parents expected,
way before they knew, because this is the
state of the world today.
This is the state of social media today.
And this brings me to the second point.
We recognize that we are living in the
era of fast paced videos with very short
kind of attention spans spreading worldwide.
And there are a lot of studies now
indicating that there's a really harmful effect on
adults, on adults when they consume too much
of social media, short form videos, basically reels,
10 seconds, five seconds, fast paced action, cut
off all the silences.
And so if it's affecting adults, sociologists and
psychologists are saying there is no doubt it's
affecting the attention span and self-discipline of
children.
And it's preventing a lot of children from
being able to sit for a moment and
read a book to get through a topic,
to have a sense of curiosity.
Everything now has to be fast paced, instant
gratification.
So in this era of social media, of
clicks and likes and follows and reels and
everything else that comes with it, a lot
of the younger generation amongst Gen Z and
amongst those who are Gen Alpha up to
the present moment, this is what they are
exposed to.
And if there are no guardrails, there is
no supervision, there's no building of trust and
responsibility with every age of life as they
pass through puberty and adulthood and into many
stages of responsibility, they're going to struggle with
it, perhaps more so than their parents, who
also in many cases have become addicted, have
turned away and become glued to these devices.
And the families who are gathering for meals,
as they used to, the families who are
gathering for meals are no longer talking, they're
no longer connecting, a lot of interruptions, a
lot of other things happening, there's a sense
that, you know what, I have to get
back to my device, I have to see
what's happening in the world.
And of course, I cannot give and no
psychologist will give a specific age in which
parents should start teaching their children how to
use these devices.
Every child is different.
Every device has its context, its use, its
time, its supervision.
And there's no doubt that you cannot shun
it altogether after a certain age, you cannot
ignore it and the reality of utilizing it
for education, other things after a certain age.
But as we use these devices, we really
have to think about what we are filtering
out and what we are allowing in.
And we have to demonstrate this before we
are preaching it to our children.
Because if they are constantly coming to their
parents and talking about things, and the parents
are glued to their devices on social media,
they're going to pick up on that.
And it starts to teach them that social
media is very important to their parents, perhaps
at times more so than their children.
And with this, the reminder, the Prophet ﷺ
used to make dua.
So here's practical advice for everyone who does
use smartphones and social media in any form
responsibly.
The Prophet ﷺ used to ask Allah to
protect him from useless knowledge.
اللهم إني أعوذ بك من علم لا ينفع
And he used to ask for the opposite,
اللهم إني أسألك علما نافعة Both of these
supplications are important for every one of us.
And as we make this dua every day,
hopefully, and we teach our children this dua,
then we have to follow through with action.
Filter out the things that won't help you
intellectually.
The many psychologists have found are destroying the
minds of people.
They can't focus anymore.
They can't be disciplined.
They can't have patience.
They can't persevere.
We cannot see long-term civilizational change when
it comes to علم and تربية if we
are constantly moving every 20 seconds from one
real and one topic to the next.
And we are accustomed to this as well
and teaching our children that this is a
normal thing, when in reality, it's not.
May Allah ﷻ grant us self-discipline and
patience.
اللهم آمين I watched a video recently, as
many of us have, a young child in
Gaza.
He's talking about the fact that every school
building is at risk, as many have been
bombed, and every university has been destroyed in
Gaza.
May Allah ﷻ protect our brothers and sisters
in every land and place.
And he's saying, I wish I had the
ability to go to school.
I wish I had the ability to learn.
And we think about the struggles of Muslims
in lands with more freedom, and their struggle
is one of distractions, one of temptations, one
of materialism and consumerism.
May Allah ﷻ protect us all and grant
us the ability to prioritize and to follow
through.
اللهم آمين Another of the challenges we have
to address is that for a lot of
parents, they don't recognize their children are exposed
sometimes to more cultures.
And there's a culture of fluidity to social
media.
So for those who are already using devices
amongst the children of the communities, they are
exposed to a lot of different views, a
lot of different ideas, a lot of different
identities.
This could be good in broadening the horizon,
and this could be extremely destructive, depending on
the context, from a spiritual and moral lens.
So when Allah ﷻ commands us, and there's
a context to this, ثُمَّ جَعَلْنَاكَ عَلَى شَرِيعَةٍ
مِّنَ الْأَمْرِ فَاتَّبِعْهَا The Prophet ﷺ is being
told, we have given you basically a religion,
a final revelation, so follow it.
وَلَا تَتَّبِعْ أَهْوَاءَ الَّذِينَ لَا يَعْلُمُونَ Do not
follow the whims, the ways of those who
are ignorant.
They don't have truth.
And there is a reminder for us when
it comes to broadening our horizons.
It doesn't mean that you take from every
influencer.
It doesn't mean you take from other people,
even if they are the most famous of
people in the world.
Because they may not be giving you something
good.
And you want to protect the most valuable
thing that you have, which is your spiritual
heart.
And that means what?
Choosing what you allow yourself to consume, what
enters into your heart, your eyes, your ears,
and what you filter out.
May Allah ﷻ protect us all.
This means Muslims, young and old, have to
know with the broadening of horizons and cultural
globalization, if you will, what differentiates Muslims from
others?
What differentiates you from others?
What makes you different?
What is it that you have?
And this brings me to one of the
most important points, the moral challenges.
With the rise of globalization and ideas spreading
easily and quickly around the world, a lot
of Gen Z Muslims do not know why
they are Muslim.
And a lot of Gen Alpha Muslims have
no idea what distinguishes Islam from every other
religion.
What makes Islam truthful from an intellectual standpoint?
Now we know, Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen, we have
the richest intellectual tradition in the world.
What does that mean?
We can prove that Islam is true, not
just intellectually and historically and rationally, psychologically,
empirically, and in every way.
We recognize this.
But it also means that with that responsibility
that we see in terms of social media
and globalization, with that responsibility, you're going to
find a lot of challenges arise.
A lot of Muslims asking questions we already
have resources for, we have answers about.
But with the use of technology and with
the spread of ideas worldwide, you will notice
sometimes when foundations are missing, youth will feel
like moral issues are different in this generation
than my parents' generation.
So what you think about gender constructs, it's
different for us.
What you think about SSA, and I want
to be cautious with my words, it's different
for us.
What you think about sexual ethics, different for
us.
When in reality, some of these moral issues
are timeless.
They are not different.
The things that are different may be cultural
in terms of Urth, in terms of slang,
in terms of words, and so on and
so forth.
And we recognize these have a role in
the Sharia.
But the moral challenges for many young Muslims
are the most serious.
And this is why we encourage those who
are young Muslims when they use social media
to be extremely responsible.
There's no need to expose yourself to useless
loud debates between people of different religions or
those who are attacking Islam with satanic statements.
There's no benefit in that.
First, build up your Islamic foundation.
Utilize the sources you already have.
Yes, there's controversy.
There are loud voices out there.
Build your foundation, your trust in Allah, your
knowledge of truth, as then you start to
share with others.
May Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala guide us and
protect us and our children.
Allahumma ameen.
We live in a time in which calling
people out is easier than calling them in,
than redeeming people.
Cancel culture has become a norm in this
generation.
For many of the youth, this is the
norm for a person to post something or
say something controversial and get canceled easily.
This is the norm.
But working hard to redeem people and help
them come back to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala
takes a lot more work.
And so turn to what Allah has said
as the reference point morally before you start
to consume the things that are out there,
just so that this is practical and beneficial.
And there are many other things we could
share and have shared over the years.
But just so there's some practicality in this,
there are at least three core principles in
terms of Tarbiyah that apply to every generation,
old and young.
And Tarbiyah, the concept of being nurtured or
developed, has a lot of foundational elements to
it.
But if I could only mention three for
the sake of time, it would be the
following.
Number one, from an Islamic lens, is that
the Tarbiyah is centered around the oneness of
Allah.
Who is Allah?
And with this, I mean an Islamic Aqidah
that does not get into the controversies, that
is not sectarian and extreme and problematic and
causing divisions and chaos in the world.
The Islamic Aqidah is so simple.
Who is Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala?
Why does he deserve to be worshipped alone?
What are his names and his attributes?
What are his words that he's shared with
you as a miraculous, preserved, timeless revelation?
So the concept of an Islamic Aqidah here,
in the simplest manner possible, does not get
into the differences amongst movements and groups and
confusions and controversies.
Know who your Lord is.
This is what most Muslims need.
The advanced topics can be studied in advanced
settings.
But as for the majority of the Ummah,
it's to understand who Allah is and how
to have unshakable trust in Allah.
إذا سألت فاسأل الله وإذا استعنت فاستعن بالله
If you ask, ask of Allah.
If you seek help, seek help from Allah.
So this is the reminder from the Prophet
ﷺ to Abdullah ibn Abbas, to our Ummah
by extension.
But who Allah is and you find and
you found in the last 14 months, one
of the sole reasons so many people have
converted to Islam is the Tawheed and the
resilience and the Iman of the people of
Palestine or Syria or Lebanon or Yemen or
any other land.
When they are attacked and they respond with
حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل When they are bombed,
martyred, killed, occupied, and they respond with, we
trust in Allah سبحانه وتعالى They respond with
إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ What else can
we say?
And you see these young children and the
video that I was shown just a few
days ago amongst others, these young children who
are all orphaned in Gaza and many of
the children of Gaza are now orphans.
May Allah make it easy for them and
for all of our Ummah.
And they're talking about how with all that's
happened in the last 14 months, they did
not stop memorizing the Quran.
They did not stop learning and growing.
Young children, 9 and 10 and 11 and
12, their priority, their ambition as they are
being killed and butchered is to keep memorizing
the Quran, stay connected to Allah.
Memorizing 500 plus a hadith from Riyad al
-Saliheen, memorizing and learning the Arabic language and
its rules with eloquence.
You look at this example and you find
that their tawheed, their oneness, their trust in
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, their resilience, it
doesn't just protect them as they've openly said.
They said, we're not surrendering, we're not losing
hope, we're not giving up.
Is it easy?
No, it's not easy.
It's torture, it's pain, it's severe, it's heavy.
But you find that their trust in Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala stems from their connection
to Him.
And we ask Allah to keep us consistent
with the Quran and our families and our
youth as well.
So the first is aqeedah, the second is
character building, akhlaaq and adab.
The Prophet ﷺ told us hundreds of a
hadith about character.
Innama bu'ithtu li yutammima makarimal akhlaaq, I've
been sent to perfect, confirm good manners and
to complete them.
In another narration, salih al-akhlaaq, the things
that are good, Prophet ﷺ teaches us amongst
the heaviest of deeds on the day of
judgment.
As Al-Bukhari reports, amongst the heaviest of
good deeds you could have on the day
of judgment are good manners.
So we obviously take from this the importance
of teaching etiquettes to our families, our youth,
our children.
And etiquette does take into consideration the culture.
But what are some things that are considered
sensitive in this culture that you have to
word differently, address differently, approach with more sensitivity,
compassion?
These are things we have to consider even
if we don't relate to them.
Even if one generation or one land does
not understand it, we take into consideration the
customs of a land.
And of course we teach them etiquette as
far as their character goes with every individual.
How do you practice Islamic manners with the
old and the young, the Muslim, the non
-Muslim, your friend or your foe?
What are the rules that you adhere to?
And finally, number three, in terms of tarbiyah,
concept of development and nurturing, is critical thinking,
intellectual growth.
You have the foundation of belief in Allah
and you see the world through that.
You have the foundation of how you live
your life and deal with other human beings.
And then number three, your critical thinking.
Our ummah today is growing and reviving, but
is in need of a massive emphasis on
raising the standard of our intellectual pursuits.
The Muslims from all spheres of life, every
industry possible, have raised the standard for themselves
and their families and their communities in terms
of understanding some basic things about Islam and
as well about the ummah and the needs
of the ummah, the needs of working together,
of collective strategizing, of utilizing resources in an
effective manner, of building our own financial institutions,
our own economic growth, our own intellectual pursuits.
We have the richest intellectual heritage, alhamdulillah, but
it's a matter of reviving it.
We have resources like no other, but it's
a matter of taking advantage of it.
When people ask today, where do I begin?
Alhamdulillah, we have so many resources.
But always start with your local community.
Start with the things you have access to.
Let us keep making our cities in this
country hubs of Islamic knowledge, hubs of growth,
hubs of great attendance and gatherings and congregations,
more so than our protests and more so
than our social gatherings.
That we show up to the seminars, the
classes, the conferences, when they come to our
cities or nearby states, that we join together
and we bring our children and learn with
them.
Amongst the most beautiful of examples are the
many parents here and around the world who
sign up for seminars with the sole thought
of showing their children how important knowledge is,
but making sure that they are present as
well.
I'm busy, you're busy, we're all busy, alhamdulillah,
we have so many things going on.
We will always have excuses.
You see some of the busiest of people
in the world blocking off time because it
matters to them, showing up with their children,
their families to educational functions, to raise the
standard of Islamic knowledge.
May Allah grant us beneficial knowledge and protect
us from useless knowledge and protect our children
here and in every land and in every
place.
And may Allah guide us and guide others
through us.
Allahumma ameen.